 Ah, that's the kind of sound I want to start every video with. Hey there, friends! How's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Imagine Lifetimes, the game that allows you to choose whatever you do with your life. Wow, that sounds like fun. Weird how I don't do anything exciting with my actual life. I could make these decisions, but ah, it doesn't matter. Choose your first words. I'm going to say dada. Before we send you out into the world, you're going to have to make some important decisions. Choose your favorite childhood toy. TV. What are these? I build stuff in kindergarten. I'm very interested where this is going to come back and make a difference. Choose some friends. Isn't this doing the opposite of what you should do? This is judging people. It's judging a book by its cover, literally. These ones must be rich because they have bicycles and stuff. How come when I'm friends with you, you're not allowing me to be friends with them? You're a weird dude, but you're rich, so it's fine. This one is way too old to be friends with me. You're about seven foot four. You be my friend. Choose your playground adventure. Get some sand in your pocket. That'll come in handy later in life. Seven years down the line when I'm getting mugged. Oh my God, why? I'm guaranteed some of you like this. Choose a high school sport. Swimming, okay. I thought it was like getting a haircut as I don't think that's a sport. If so, I'm really good at sports. I'm going to pick shoes. Shoes are my sport. Choose your crush. This one that's pointing at me. I've been chosen. Oh wait, that's the teacher. Okay, fine. After school activity, I just sit right picking my nose. Why don't you do something productive? No, dad. Honestly, this isn't a phase. I just want to pick my nose all the time. She was a college major. Oh my God, there's so many. What is the most useless one? I guess in today's world, probably tourism. My dad's going to be like really giving what's going on right now. Now you want to go to tourism. Okay. He's not impressed. Congratulations. Time flies, doesn't it? It really does. Now I know why in the movies the parents always go, they grow up so fast. What are you waiting for? Choose your path. Wait, what is this? What am I looking for? Is this it? Career path, recommended. Partner path, housing path, not recommended. Well, tell me what to do. Wait, what is this? A charity blanket? No, I want to live in a skyscraper if I'm actually unsuitable. God damn it. All right. I'll go with the blanket then. I didn't think so. Perfect sake. I definitely picked the wrong one. We choose a letter to survive? P. Oh no, they're hanging the man and the man is me. Okay, what? Oh shit, what am I doing? What? That's not a word, is it? What does that mean? You made it out. Try not to mess it up again. Okay, okay. So if I mess it up, they try and lynch me. Okay, let's do the recommended career path then. This is your search method. Just going around holding people's hands. Like, I want to get into tourism and to do it, he's going around shaking people's hands in today's climate. Are you sure? Wait, what? This is going all over the place. Sign the contract. What kind of digital contract is this? I hate the future. All right, go. Okay, that's not bad. That's pretty good actually, except the fact that I have absolutely no benefits. The boss. Survive your first day of work. Hello. You must be your latest recruit. Yeah, sure. Thank you for the good luck wishes. How do I play? Red is bad. Green is good. Yeah, I think I can understand that. That's about all I can understand. It's using all one cylinder of my brain. This one brain cell is popping off right now. It's going nuts. Wait, am I supposed to get everything in the green? Is that it? Oh, okay. I see. I understand now. It turns out my one cylinder was not understanding that actually. I hate my job. Just saying. They're messing with me. Stop it. It's my first day. One, two, four, three, five, and then I hate my job. One, nine, two, one, nine, two, seven, oh my God. What the hell is my job? I want to go back to the blanket, sneaky boss. I recalculated your paycheck. To what? Do I get a raise? Special taxes have increased. Is it a tax on the stupid? Gives paycheck. How much did I earn? I'm just glad it's over. That was stressful. I didn't like it. No path blocked requires freedom. Wait, what does that mean? Where am I imprisoned? All right. Let's go get a partner. Chelsea. That's the name of a place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just accept them all. Honestly, anyone. Just someone take me please. Choose a partner. Y'all look similar to be honest. Oh, no. You're too tanned. I'm going to look even paler in comparison. I think you're the palest. Nicely done. Thanks, dad. I don't know why you're watching me using Tinder. Choose your next move. Escape. One time thing. Make it official on our first date. Was that it? Oh, that was way easier than having a job. All right. Let me get a house. I want a nice blanket in the suburbs. Oh, I can get a cozy cottage. That's nice. Yeah, I get that. Do you think you can handle it? Move your stuff. Yeah. I think I can do this. All right. I'll just put it over there. Yeah. There we go. You must be exhausted. Oh, I'm exhausted. I'm trying to get some shut-eye. I feel like Ron from Harry Potter. Yeah. Choose a pet. Well, that thing's fucking demented, so I'll go with the dog even if he does look pissed off with me. Choose a decorative plant. Probably not safe for the dog, but I like a plant that can fight back. Give me the cactus. Right. Why is he so unimpressed by all of my choices? Oh, big TV, big. I'm proud of you. He's proud of that because I got a massive TV. He's like, well, son, you've made it. All right. Time for family. Make babies. The place is baby-proof. So the cactus has got little stoppers on it, little cork stoppers on every little prick. The only prick in the house now is me. Let's do a DIY, baby. Frontalize the egg. I hope we get the sound effects like we got earlier. Ah, yes. This is perfect. This is like ASMR. Can we crank up that volume, please? It's asking me weird questions here. I'm going to go with the weird answers. Oh, no failure. God damn it. I wanted him to just be a really stupid baby. What is existence? Painful or dreadful? I'm going to go with neither. What? How is that failure? I'm just being optimistic for once. What is money? It's backing everything to me. Everything. Which is why I'm showing a load of sperm on screen to make sure I get demonetized. I don't want to become obsessed, you know? All right. I've changed my mind. Let's adopt. It's much easier. Choose your child. I always choose my child by their feet. Unknown. Abandoned. Orphan. Dissowned. I want the disowned one. That's mysterious. Oh, it came in a box with no air holes. I hate it. Can I send it back? It's pooping all over its box. Choose the size of the ring. What? I don't know if I want to marry her if she will only marry me for the size of the ring. Like, that's the difference. If it's this size, she refused to marry me. If it's that, she's fine. All right, go for it. Yeah, just that many invitations. There you go. Who's going to pay for that? I haven't figured that out yet, dad. I was hoping you might make it like a fucking funeral. That's a funeral for my bank account anyway. Why not? There's my cake. And that's just mine. I hereby declare you partners in life. Thanks, dad. I don't think that's something you're able to do, but appreciate it. Wait, time for retirement already? No. Let's get another baby. Yeah, we're going to make a DIY one. We're going to love this one more. The other one just shits everywhere, all right? And he must be fairly old if he got disowned, because no one disowns like a one-year-old. He's probably like 15. He's just arrived in a box shitting all over himself. What is significant? I mean, nothing if you really want to get deep about it, but that's kind of depressing. Your kids are now top priority. I just said nothing though. What is confusing? This answer, to be honest, I think, I think that whole thing was confusing. It's a bit of a deep question. Like, are they just talking about this during the act? Is this what this is? Since you are now technically living life through the eyes of your children, we might as well switch perspectives. Wait, what? What does that even mean? Oh, good. We're hearing the squelching noises. Fantastic. You are born in a random place. What? Am I being born again? This game is tripping me out. It's too much. It's too much. Oh my God, what is this? Now, who's your favorite parent? I'm going to go with mama this time. Dad, dad judges me. Right. I've got quick play on, whatever that means. Hopefully it'll speed it up, because we've got to blast through this year. All right. You know the drill. Let's get right to it. Yeah, that's fine. That thing is still creeping me out. But that's fine. Thank you for those decisions. That'll speed things up a bit. Ah, yes, the pimple stage of life. All right, let's go into something really successful. Let's go into banking now. Sure. Mom, come on. Be a bit impressed. Banking is respectable. Lots of money in that. Why did I pick mom? She wouldn't marry dad unless he bought a massive ring. I hate mom. Travel path available. Let's go. Come on. All right then. Safe travels. It's not safe to travel right now, but goodbye. Who knows we're getting all this money? Most of the place I'm going to are the Pacific Ocean. God knows where. And I know dad doesn't have a good job, so I don't know where I'm getting these funds. That's as fast as I can physically spend money. I'm tapping as fast as I can. Oh, look at those photos. Wow, that was not worth the money I spent. Most of them are just of my thumb. They're all the same. All right, I'm not a boomer anymore. I'll use the internet to find a job, choose a career. I don't want to be a gecko banking. That has the money symbol. I think you made the right choice. Yeah, you're right. Thanks, mom. There you go. Okay, that's not too bad, I guess. At least I've benefits this time. Meanwhile, dad's over there like, back in mind, eh? We got fucked over at every decision. Stop moving everything. I don't like working in general. You got it? No, this is feck controlling me. One, two, three, four, three, five. Oh, my sweep of Jesus. One, nine, one, nine, two, seven. Working. Thank God, I'm just able to play video games for a living. I'll be reasonable this time. I'm going to go with a small TV. You know, the smallest of large or obviously in America. All right, let's see if I can find a better partner than previous me, because Jesus Christ, she did not care about me at all. All right, IVF time. Let's go. I can't even remember if it's a man or woman that I actually picked to date. You have a purpose now. Thank you. It's the first time ever. For feck's sake, she's just like mom. You know what? Take the biggest ring. We'll have no money to feed our child. Are you happy now? I sent out a shit ton of notifications and then I made the cake the smallest thing possible. It's just like a personal serving for me. All right, I'm retiring. Feck this. Enjoy the comforts of your retirement home. Wait, why did you send me to a home? I'm probably like 40. Okay, time is going very fast. I can see the clock there and all they gave me to play with is this lamp. Is this all I do in retirement? I just play with a lamp. That's sad. I can change the background a bit with the remote. That's kind of fun. I guess retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be. Is it? Yeah, I think I may have retired too early. Honestly, I think I might be dead. I'm just sitting here in the chair as this lamp is spinning around me. I don't think I'm alive anymore. Oh, wait. That's it. Okay, no, now I'm dead. When they place my skull on the chair in their retirement home, that's when I'm dead. Doesn't seem very considerate for the other residents. I'm so sorry, but you... you're dead. That's all right. It's inevitable, ain't it? Wait, why is time going back? Did you find what you were looking for? Not really, no. Oh my God, there's my little cake. Don't shame me for getting a little cake. What the shit is this? My houseplant, my demented cat. Is this going to go through my dad's life too? I want to see the cactus again. What the hell is this? Oh, there's all the pictures I took. 700 pictures and I have one like on Instagram and it was my dad. Oh, I thought they were going to take the sperm back out. I was looking forward to that noise. Oh my God, no, I can't go again. It's too traumatic to see him die in a retirement home like that. It was just tragic to be honest. He spent the final years of his life just sitting there idle doing nothing with his life. Oh God, I'd hate to be like that. Anyway, we better finish up the video. I hope you guys enjoyed. I know I did. What a strange little game. Imagine lifetimes it's called if you want to give it a try yourself. But we're going to leave it there. I hope you enjoyed. I appreciate you watching as always and I do hope to see you next time. If you want, you can check out my Twitch in the description as well for even more of me. But I do post daily so I understand if you already have too much. But I hope to see you tomorrow. Bye for now.