 Hi, this is Jan Brearden, and I am the host of the Kindest Connection, which is a fabulous show that we are able to air every third Thursday of each month. And this particular Thursday here in March on March 17, I have two very, very special guests near and dear to my heart. I've enjoyed every show so far. But the fact that I have the guest that I have with me today means a great deal to me, and I just wanted to be able to introduce Jen and Mike's, Jen, my brother, Mike and his wife Jennifer Reardon's children. I have Josh Reardon here, and he is 14 years old and I have Avery Reardon here and she is 16. Today, we are going to discuss very openly and looking forward to having a nice conversation. Oops, I'm sorry, I left out Aspen Reardon over here. This cute little girl, she is my other niece, and we'd love to have Aspen here with us as well. And we have all our sparky Kindest Bears, thanks to Vermont Teddy Bear. They created this bear in honor of Jennifer Reardon for her mantra of being kind, loving, caring and sharing. These are kindest bears that have brought a lot of compassion and love to many, many people. Vermont Teddy Bear has been fabulous with endorsing the mantra that Jen had. And so today we're going to talk about being able to look at kindness through a young adults perspective. You know, as adults, we might have some preconceived notion of what kindness means, but I think it's really important to know how that begins and how in this world the bullying going on in schools and just the world is obviously in a tough place right now and how young adults can really make a difference in the world. So I'd like to start by just asking my first question to Avery and to Josh and we'll take it from there, but I'd like to begin with you, Josh, if I may, and just ask you what your definition of kindness is. So kindness to me is really just what you put out in the world is what comes back to you in a kind way. And if you put out something that's kind in a very nice and polite way, or you just are there for somebody, it's the best way to, to just have happiness and kindness in the world. And every day we strive to make the world a better place so just by helping hand is always the biggest part of kindness. So yeah, that's what I think. And I believe that kindness is beautiful. That's a great perspective. What are your thoughts on what kindness, the definition of kindness to you. I would say it's not always the big things in life but just the little things you do for people like holding the door complimenting them, or just being respectful towards people. Very nice. I love it. I love it. Let's see what else we have here. How do you, how do you feel as though kindness has impacted your life, Josh. In my life, like, it's a, I grew up with a fortunate very lucky to have two great parents that raised me, amazingly, and so kindness to me would be anything that they do for me to, to help me or to come for me like it could be making a breakfast, it could be buying me a bad it could be like, giving me a ride to school like it's all like, like Avery said it's like the little things in, in life that people do for you that you don't really understand. And a lot of people don't, a lot of people take it for granted. And I always try to think about how that is impacting my life. A lot of people overlook those little things that happen and when you stop and think about it it really fills you up to know how other people care about you and how much that can make you feel better about yourself as well. Now, how about you Avery, what would you say, I would say that with the kindness that I'm given I'm able to share it with other people. So, with having such kind parents and people around me who really care and love for me. I think it's really easy for me to take how they love me and show that towards other people. Perfect. That makes a big difference. Yeah. Josh, how would you say that kindness could help to reduce bullying in school. So, bullying in schools is a not, not a good thing, obviously, and it's hard for a lot of people to go through something who's bullying you because you feel like you don't have help sometimes. But when someone's getting bullied, the bully always has something going on with them to make them feel this way to make them want to hurt other people. And so if you show them more kindness than like you know how to show you just give them as much kindness as possible. I feel that that can really fix a lot of bullies mentalities to the way they treat people. Good. Good. How about you, Avery? What would you say could be done to reduce bullying? Yeah, I agree with Josh. I think that instead of having harsh reactions to bullies with putting them in detention or kind of, I don't know, just giving them harsh words, it should be like things that they could do to be kind towards community. And if you see that someone is being bullied, I think that as kids we should step in first and try to give them ways to be kind to others because we're the same age. Should we know how to connect to that or we can help more than like if older people have to get involved and might be different from the other people. So I think to showing kindness to them and showing them ways to be kind to two people instead of one. So Josh, could you give us an example of something that you have done or has been done to you or both regarding kindness or compassion or understanding like what comes to mind for you. So like I said, I grew up in a very kind family that just always was there for me whenever I needed anything. And so, I don't think that there's one really big thing that sticks out. That was the kindness I think that everything that is done for me is just done with such care kindness and so I'm very fortunate to have that a lot of people don't have that. And I want them to have that and that's one of the main reasons for this podcast and for this TV show sorry, and my dad's foundation that's like one of the main purposes of it is to just go out of the world and show people that there are good people out here that care for them, that walk them to be good so. Yeah, but there's not just one big thing it's everything that I do for other people mostly, and everything that's done to be that to be making a waffle or giving me a boat ride or anything that is just something that to be grateful for. I'm grateful every day for everything that I ever have. And sometimes when I'm not grateful I just think about the times that I need to be grateful the things that I have. There's a lot of unfortunate people out there which is really unfortunate so I think that just life. My life is very kind and caring and blessed. I think you can carry that forward into the community so that more people will have just even a bit of that in their heart. So yeah so that's kind of what the foundation is all about it's really just giving to people that don't have their life or they're just feeling down and they just can't get themselves back together. So, giving is just a very great thing you think that our foundation really displays that. Can you tell us a little bit more about the foundation. So, our families motto was always to be kind loving caring and sharing. And so, when I started a foundation for my mom, it's about just giving back to the community what they gave to us, and really just displaying how kind our Albuquerque is really, because Albuquerque is a great city to live in and we just want to display how it is and I think we're 26, we're the 26th kind of city in the world, or in the country so we're trying to get to number one but I mean it's just to just be kind to people. It always lightens their day and makes people feel happy. That's awesome. What do you think as far as you know, either a kind act that you've done or somebody has done for you to get you to where you are today. Yeah, like I said, I think it's the small things I don't think there's one big thing that stands out. Right. But I think what the foundation is doing is are the really big things that stand out to me. Like giving back to our community or my team for while we go do food drives and stuff like that. So I think those things just giving back to the community, like, even if you're not hands on with someone, I'm helping them on the street, just being able to go to Road on our Food Bank is a great place to go to package meals for homeless and it could be as big as that we're just holding the door for someone. Exactly. Thank you. I love it. Josh, how about Let me see how I really want to work this but What would you say You can do when you're not really feeling kind and it happens to all of us we can't deny that there are moments when we're down and it's a little bit more challenging to be harder to be kind at that time. How can you be kind under stress and under duress because that's when I think other people lash out and that's what we have to diffuse so how do you do that yourself. So to me this is kind of like a personal question because everybody handles it differently. So to think about now for me there, I have a lot of stuff that I could just think about and be grateful for that gets me back in the kindness mood but I want to talk about people that don't have stuff to be grateful for. I always wondered how they get back to be that because there's a lot of kind people out there that really they could not be kind if they, if they like because of their situations, but they are. And so, for me, what I think happens is they find hope they find hope for themselves, they find hope for others they find they find a way to be kind in a hopeful way. And so, much as giving them a dollar to go get food or giving them a meal or giving them a drink or giving them a pillow or giving them a blanket just all these things just puts hope in their soul to go another day to survive another day and move on keep progressing. Small increments like that, right don't look too far ahead just kind of stay in that moment and try to feel better. I feel that it always works out the long run for those people. Definitely. That's great. I would say that it is hard for me to be kind whenever I am in a hard tough situation or not. So I think the first thing I need to do is be kind to myself and take a moment to just have some self care within myself take care of my body take care of my mental state. And then so then just kind of be as kind as I can to people just instead of, I don't have to go out of my way to be kind to them instead be kind to myself first but don't be rude to them and just kind of let them do their thing until I figure out my thing and then I can go back to going out of my way to be kind to them. That's good that's healthy that's what we need to do and that makes for a better community better relationships better friendships. So let's see if can you tell us a little bit about the junior board and what the goals are for is you're involved and maybe just tell us a little bit about the Jennifer Rubin Foundation, given your role as a member of the junior board. Yeah, so the first meeting we have for the junior board was kind of a while ago. We haven't really met again since then but I remember at that meeting we did talk about doing things for a home lesson food drives and stuff like that. I also picked a nonprofit to give money to, and I feel like that is a great way to help in the community there's a lot of profits out there that are helping and instead of being hands on with people and if you don't want to do volunteer work and if you have you are fortunate enough, giving money towards people who are helping others is a great way to help the community. Yeah, it's good. How about you just what is your take as far as your role and how it impacts the community by what you do on the Jennifer Rubin Foundation junior board. Yeah, so me and Avery, we came to the idea of a junior one and he was hands on with it he said to do is a great idea. And so we run it out of the Albuquerque community foundation building and yeah we kind of covered it it's a nonprofit, we give it out to a nonprofit, almost like every six months I'd like to say. And that's just really a way to, it's me and Avery's way to be a part of what on that has created and really give back to the community as a young kid, or as a young adult, right so to give back to the community in a different as born through the best good. Do you feel as though your friends have noticed a difference in you now that you are so focused on sharing kindness. So you'd have to ask that next question. Do you feel that in yourself. Yeah, I feel that I have become more of a kind person. Because of our foundation because of what you're doing like every every person that just wants to help just warms my heart because this is really what my mom a lot. Exactly. So, this is just really warms my heart. I would say yeah I would say before I was kind but I think I'm very more like approach to it and I, I understand how to be kind to people if I see someone down I can tear them up and just more prone to it. So we go out at school Josh are there any programs that are in place that revolve around kindness or sharing compassionate, you know understanding ways. So we don't really be able to both go to a great school it was a software on a theater. And so we go to a very fortunate school in a way that they want you to be kind to others they want you to be yourself. They want you to just be another kid. They want you to grow as a human being as yourself and not as anybody else. And so they have so many like different clubs there and you can join any of them there is a kindness club at our school, and they do do a lot of stuff for the community. Kindness does start with the community, in my opinion, actually kind of start for yourself, then goes to your community but yeah so our school has a kindness club and they're just they go around and they're just very kind to other people. Sometimes they give a cookie to the kid that's sad or sometimes just a little things like every said that really white kids day. What do you say about the school as far as some different programs and replace that help. Yeah, there's another club called helping hands that I was with last year and one of the little things that we did was during the food drive. For the elderly people. We went and we gave roses and just a nice car to the people. Just to lighten their day just something small to do for them. Also our school is connected with the app. So everyone at our school is they see an act of kindness they're able to walk it. So I think that's our school is doing really good involving kindness. Wonderful. And do you find that that's the case at most schools or is that unusual. Yeah, I feel like some schools are doing better with kindness and our app is actually connected towards some schools. Throughout all the turkey. There are some schools that have difficulty with it because of the students or just the district that it's in but I feel like there are kind people there and I think those people struggle with being kind towards the other kids because they feel like it's different and it's hard to be different especially in high school but I think once those kids reach out and are kind towards others that it will be kindness is going to be spread everywhere. It would be nice to just think of it as the new normal. Yeah, all of a sudden that's just that's the way it is and it becomes part of our DNA really it's more of a culture. Josh, maybe you can tell us a little bit about our day yesterday when we went over to Jess's kindergarten class and how great that felt just so it gives a little background on that. We went over to a kindergarten classroom. We got to really just put a light on kids day there and I don't know if they're having a bad day or not. And some of them were having a good day and this made it better but all I know is this, this particular moment made those kids so happy. I just wanted my heart to see every, every little kid so happy and so we went over and we really just told them or talk to them about kindness and how they can, what they have done in to help us because everyone has helped the community in different ways through kindness or just through like helping someone and so, but yeah so we got to go over there really just got to be with the kids and hear what they've done for the community and it was really nice. Aidswood, do you have to say about our day yesterday over in the classroom? I would say that it was really heartwarming to know that even five year olds understand the concept of what kindness is. It was so cool to hear. We asked each one of them to stand up and talk about one kind thing they did and it was super cool to hear the nice things they were doing within their family or at school. And I think it was really like they loved the bear, they were so intrigued and sparky, they loved him so much. And I think it's just really cool to understand that like, it's hard to understand kindness sometimes but it sounds like these kids have such a good grasp of it. And they were so grateful when they received we gave them bracelets and so that made their day and it was good to know that they were starting to get off with a kind thing or just even thinking about something kindly did and they can redo that and I know some of the other kids were helping just their friends in the classroom. Josh, what would you say, you know, you get up in the morning do you try to take a minute and start your day with that grateful heart, or does it come throughout the day like what would how would you describe like the best day that you could have for yourself. So my best day would be probably every day I mean I wake up to a great house and roof over my head and water food and and I'm just grateful for that right off the bat and you think about that when you get up you feel that. So, I'm going to be honest not every time, of course not always but I tried to that's the biggest part of the day is the morning is when you wake up how you feel, you're going to act that day, how you're going to get up and push through the day. There's, there's going to be hatred there's going to be stuff throughout the day that you're not going to like. It's how you can come back from that and exactly answer to that. When you start the day out with what's your plan for the day how do you go into it. I would say that being kind to myself first is really good thing and starting the day off, telling myself how to be kind to myself and just really taking care of my body. And then I would say just again the little things when I see someone if I think they look good and I'll let them know and I think it does come throughout the day for me. People are treating me kind and I have a more want to be kind to other people. But I feel like it's, I am grateful for it. And each morning it's good to know that like, I know that there will be kind people around me. Yeah, it's great. So Josh, what do you think about fast forward Josh Reardon's, you know, 21 years old. What do you what do you want to see as yourself as a young man. I want to see compassion. It would be the biggest part I want I want to see just, I would want to see out here keeping so kind that people want to be around each other and to see each other. So I just think that in the future, the world could be a lot kinder than it already is a lot a lot kinder and so I think that every day we just get even more kind and hopefully when I'm 21 we can be the number one kind of city in the world. How many years you're fast forward you're 21 years old with what do you see yourself looking like at that point. I would hope to be able to be kind towards others still and just like more and instead of doing little things I think it would be good to start doing bigger things. And also, just like reaching out to more people to be kind on, not in our Turkey but other places as well. I agree with Josh being the number one city would be great. Right. And I think just carrying on the legacy of always being kind living carrying sharing is the best we can do with things and I think just always being kind towards others is kind of where I see it. Good. Josh, can you think of a time when say you were at school or at baseball, and you saw one of the guys or girls at school that was a little down not having a good day how do you handle that. Well, sometimes someone just needs time to put it out there just cry just do whatever, but so I just kind of approached them and if they asked me to leave the be I just leave the be the now I go back and check on them and make sure they were okay. But if someone just needs a hug or needs a helping hand, something. It's always nice to know that for like for me it's always nice to know that you're here for me. You're here five down. I need something right you're here for that. I mean not just that but I'm just saying you're here for me right and you're here for me because you're my sister like, so I just have a lot of people that are there for me but some kids don't have anyway. And so just to be that person for somebody is a really big thing. Beautiful. I think the first thing to do is just ask them if they're okay and if they don't want to talk about it then you did what you could to help them at that point. Just checking in with them, like continuously I think is good maybe not like two seconds later but a little like an hour or two later just making sure that they're okay because all you can do is help. Just ask yeah and if they don't want to talk about it then that's okay and that's on them I think just checking in with them and checking in especially if it gets like to super bad with their other peers or teachers or guardians just making sure that they're okay and maybe like bring them a treat to school or just act extra kind to them that day. We only have about five minutes left so why don't we you know just give a shout out to your dad as far as the foundation and what he has done and what type of impact that has had on your life I mean you've talked about kindness and thankfully you've had that since you were born. But now things you know have changed and you have both done an amazing job accepting the reality and watching your dad really carry the mantra of your mom through you out into the world. So what would you say Josh that you're most grateful for as far as all that your dad has done whether it be the foundation or other than that. I'm just grateful that he's here for us every day right he wants our opinion on stuff that that really is not our voice to say anything and so he is not only carrying mom's legacy he wants us to be a part of it. Exactly. He wants us to be involved with it he doesn't want us to just sit there and watch it work. He wants like every decision that he makes is passed by by us. Yes. Now maybe some decisions we don't like but he'll still do because that's what he needs to that that's what needs to happen but it's kind of like a presidency. Yes, absolutely. He's the president. We're just the council and we just listen and we just advise. Yeah, we just your perspective is important. Tell him what we see and how we would fix it and or how we would do it and he takes it into accountability and that's really what I appreciate because he can't always take our opinion 100% of the time and I don't expect it to. But I. The part of the list and he really does do that so they really just thank you for that so that if you listen to. And along the same lines, I mean, I don't think we could come up with a better example. Unfortunately, of somebody taking, you know, a complete tragedy and turning it into something that has provided so much good. And so, for that, what comes to mind for you and if you were to describe your dad to somebody who didn't know him. I think it comes out of such tragedy and set such an example for a way to get through that you say like power through. How would you describe your dad, the strongest kindest man in the world. The person that that if you need to help me and he's there right away and the person that is there for you and you don't have anybody the person that I want to live up to. There you go. All right, about you is what would you say to that whole scenario of taking the most tragic situation possible and finding just some thing good about it and carrying on what you've done how do you, how do you attribute, you know, that to your dad and stealing that in you. I think the biggest thing for me was the isotopes came when we did. Yes. That was such a good happy feeling and just talking a little bit about that event because that was awesome. Yeah, so we actually have there was isotopes game and we just the kindness night. And we had our booth and you're giving things away and we connected people with the app. So that was really good and I think that's when I like noticed that we did make such a bad thing in life, something good and we found a positive in it. And I think that our whole family is so strong for that and I think none of us could have done it without anyone, especially my dad. But I think the foundation is just a way to show love and kindness through our family, and also to other people. I think it's good for other people to see the love that our family has. Absolutely. What an example. Yes, he's the hardest working manual ever be. Yeah, that's for sure. And speaking you refer to the app and obviously I know what the app is, but can you tell us a little bit about it. Yeah, so the app is, you can go to the internet and search the Jennifer Gruden foundation and you can go to my kindness app. And you can, every time you, so you walk in and every time you see an act of kindness or receive an act of kindness, you can just put it in there and everybody can go through and see your acts of kindness and it's just you reached a million. Like a month or two ago, and that was really good big celebration. Yeah, it was a big celebration. And so now we're just pushing through and trying to get millions. Right. And like the kindergarten kids said yesterday, what was their number they said instead of like hitting a truly what do they say they said Google. Yeah, like the biggest number they can think of right so right. So what about you can you tell us a little bit more about the app some of the acts of kindness that have been logged on there that stick out in your mind. So, so actually kindness on the app, they can be anonymous, and they can be put out there but there's so many good people in the world and like every time you look at them you're just like, there is people in the world that care and want to be kind. And so yeah so it goes, it ranges from a million cans of soup to food bank to have someone pick up trash. It just, it just ranges from everything and I think that's what we love so much about it is there's like a billion different different kind of acts that you can do with the world. Exactly. And I think that we've seen all the bill. Right and what I like about the way it's posted it's not, you can post what you do you can post what you saw somebody else do but I love the fact that that just makes you feel better when you read about something that somebody else did or you hear about something that somebody else did. It doesn't have to be you're not even involved but it just makes you feel good about human kindness and the fact that, you know, the more of that that you hear it just sets a tone for a better culture. And I would say if you're having a down day one of the ways to be kind to others is just read some of it. That's a great point it really does elips your spirits you just feel like, you know, we're just a little part of this big world and sometimes we get weighed down with our day to day issues but then you look at the bigger picture and realize, you know, there's there's many more things that are more important than certainly the material things and it's great to recognize somebody for that gift that they have of being loving. So we only have a minute left any questions that either one of you would like to ask me. Oh, I wanted to start this because we had a podcast that was running. And that was fun but it wasn't reaching as many people and thankfully Channel 17 which is town meeting TV right in Burlington, Vermont, was I put in a proposal and they were willing to try this which was a little bit out of their box but again in this day and age, people are gravitating toward things such as this and thankfully they were gracious enough to make my request a reality and this is the third episode so far and it, you know, something that I would love to continue with and just even if one or two people take something away from this each episode I will feel as though it was worthwhile and the support that I've had from town meeting TV warms my heart. Do you want to talk about the deans player. Yeah, let's do that and then we'll call it a wrap but we right last year when we were really going through this, you know, awareness of acts of kindness. It was the local partner which was amazing and here is the flyer that they were able to put on every pizza that was sold. Yeah, and it just talks about the app and how to get signed up so that everybody is logging acts of kindness. And it worked it was great and Dion stepped right up and they were just a fabulous partner there have been so many wonderful partners here in Albuquerque. As I mentioned back in Vermont time meeting TV has been great. And also from on teddy bear we have a couple of other collaborations underway. Colchester High School which is where Jen graduated from has planted a tree and now their art students are working on mosaic tiles to tell the story of Jen being kind loving caring sharing that will surround the tree as you enter into the school because that school was near and dear to her heart. And this is a way for her legacy to carry on locally as well as nationally as it has. But this is it kids it's a wrap so you just have to remember to be nice to me once we turn this camera off okay do I have a yes. Do we have a yes. Okay, that's a wrap. Thank you.