 The Herald Parry Show Herald Parry, as Honest Herald, the homemaker. Well, let's see what's going on in the Honest Herald household this Saturday morning. It's breakfast time and the pleasant aroma of coffee is in the air. Herald must have gotten up on the right side of the bed this morning for he's in a wonderful mood. Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. Well, good morning, Mother. Good morning, son. Beautiful morning, isn't it? It certainly is. Our little Marvin up yet? Oh, yes. He's had his breakfast already. He's in his room. Oh, well, I think I'll get the morning paper. Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, Herald, be careful. Marvin skates. What? Are you all right, Herald? I don't know. I think I bent my sacrilege. Mother, I've told Marvin a thousand times not to leave his skates in the middle of the living room. Well, he probably forgot, Herald. Yeah, well, he's forgotten just once too often. I'm going to lay down the law to that boy. No, Herald, don't you be hard on him. You're too easy on him, Mother. What he needs is a little discipline. He's going to stay in his room all day. Marvin? Marvin? Young man? Good morning, Herald. Marvin, I just fell over your skates in the living room. Marvin, why didn't you put those skates away last night? Well, so interested I forgot all about putting my skates away. Oh, that's all. Well, and how would you like to forget all about going out to play today? All right, Herald. I'll be glad to stay in. That will give me a chance to finish my homework. Huh? Boy, it's delirious. Marvin, just what is this homework that's so fascinating? We have to write an essay for Father's Day. I'm writing about you, Herald. Oh. Do you want to hear some of it? Well, all right. You're standing. When I forget to do things, he never loses his temper. He's the nicest kind of person I've ever known. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to stay in my room all day? Stay in your room? I was only kidding, Marvin. Why don't you go out and play? Gee, thanks. So long. Yeah, so long. And a little fella. Imagine the nicest, kindest person he's ever known. I wonder if he mentioned I'm kind to animals. Did you talk to Marvin, Herald? Oh, yes, I did, Mother. Are you going to make him stay in his room? Well, I, of course, not. What? Yeah. I mean, I changed my mind, Mother. You know something? Marvin wrote a little essay about me for Father's Day. Oh. Really wonderful having a boy around the house. It certainly is, Herald. Certainly glad cousin Natalie left him here when she went on her buying trip to Paris, Mother. I hope she stays there for a long time. Hate to think of ever letting him go. So do I, Herald. And you know, you've done a fine job taking care of Marvin these past few months. Well, I don't know, Mother. Sometimes I haven't been as understanding as I should be. From now on, I'm going to be more patient with him. I'm going to remember that he's just a little boy. Yes, I know you will, Herald. Now, you better sit down and eat your breakfast before it gets cold. Yeah, all right. Well, pancakes and maple syrup. Mother, that looks... Who's that? Come in. Well, it's Dr. Yancey. Hello, Herald. Hello, horse-doctor. Good morning, Dr. Yancey. Good morning to you, Mrs. Yancey. Stop that bowing, Doc. You're dunking your tie in my coffee. Well, it's all right, Herald. It's a brown tie. Won't you sit down and have a bite, Doctor? Oh, I couldn't. I just had my breakfast. Good. But maybe I will have a cup of your wonderful coffee. Sit right down. Oh, thank you. I'll go in and warm up the coffee and Herald. Maybe Dr. Yancey would like a pancake. Uh, care for a pancake, Doc? Oh, I couldn't. Okay. But maybe I... I will have one. Oh, well, here you are. Here. What? That one pancake looks awful lonesome on my plate. Maybe I'll just help myself to another one. Why don't you take the whole stack, Doc? All right, I will. You know, I'm not really hungry. It's a good thing you're not. You'd probably eat the plate. Not with my plates. Good. Oh, say, I saw Marvin out in the yard, just as I came in. You did? Yeah. I had such a good time playing catch with another little boy. Playing catch? I told him not to do that in the yard. He's going to break a window. I'm going right out there and... No. No, I'm not. What? Doc, I've decided I'm going to be more understanding with Marvin. Oh? Mother and I were just saying how wonderful it's been having him here. Yes, I know her. After all, boys will be boys. We weren't exactly angels when we were kids. Well, I certainly wasn't. I was real tough. Chewed gum and everything. Right. They used to call me Yucatan Yancy. Okay, Doc. Yes, sir. I was a regular at Scatting. I'll never forget one Halloween. We went up to the principal's house and stuck a pin in his doorbell. Huh? Did you do that, Doc? No, but it was my pin. I had to hold up my overalls all the way home. Okay, Doc. Oop. What's that? Oh, that's a little Marvin playing catch. You didn't catch that one. Oh, now don't worry, Har. It's all right. Booper-dooper? It booped right through the window. Marvin! Come right in the house, young man. Yes, sir. Wait a minute. That boy gets in here all booper-dooper him. Now, Har. Yeah? Remember, boys will be boys. I forgot there for a minute. Sure. What if he did break a window? He only broke the glass. The frame is still good. Man? No. After all, accidents will happen. We all make mistakes. Glorious. I'll tell you what, my boy. I'll drive downtown and get another piece of glass and fix it as soon as I finish my pancakes. Uh, Har. Yes, Doc? I already finished the pancakes. Stop! Now, don't forget, Harald. Boys will be boys. It's home safe and sound. Now, I'll just ease it out of the car. Careful. It'll be awful to break this glass before I get it in the window. Easy does it. Glass is kind of dirty. Better wash it off. I'll lean it against the front steps. Get the hose here. That's it. Now, uh-oh. There's little Marvin coming up the walk. I think I'll surprise him. Sprinkle him a little. What the heck? He's got his old clothes on. Oh, Marvin. Yeah? Surprise! April showers bring May flowers. Gee, Harald, you got me all wet. Don't be a spoil-sport, Marvin. You've got on your old clothes. Harald. Yes, Mother? Harry phone. Yeah, all right. And Marvin, be careful of the glass there. All right. I bet that's the first time Marvin's had water behind his ears for weeks. Hello? Oh, Flora Belle. No, I'm not busy. What's that? Take a ride downtown, get an ice cream soda? All right, I'll wear my ice cream pants. Be right over. Goodbye. What the heck? I can fix that window tomorrow. Have the pleasure now. Worry about the pain later. Wow. Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye, son. You look awful nice in your straw hat and summer suit. Thanks. Get on my new white shoes, too. Gallant camp go-light lease. The shoe with the air-conditioned arch. Have a nice time, Harald. I will, Mother. Now fix the window this afternoon. Goodbye. Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feeling. Everything's going my way. What a sneaky thing to do, Marvin. Look at my new suit. We'd like to get my hands on you, young man. I'll... For the second act of our story, honest, Harald, in just a moment. Gregory Peck is your star on Suspense, Radio's outstanding theater of thrills tomorrow night. Mr. Peck will star in a suspense drama as up to date as tonight's radio news. A story that deals with narcotics and sales to teenagers. Be listening for Gregory Peck when Suspense is heard tomorrow night on most of these same CBS stations. Be sure to listen for Harold Perry's Honesty Award announcement at the end of tonight's program. And now, back to Harold Perry as Honest Harold, the homemaker. Well, it has turned out to be not such a beautiful morning in the honest Harold household. Harold lost his sense of humor when Marvin turned the tables and the hose on him. He has just changed into dry clothes and is sitting in the living room in a damp mood. Harold. Yes, Mother? Are you going to make Marvin stay in his room all day? I certainly am. That boy has got to learn respect for his elders, getting me all wet like that. But Harold, you sprinkled him first. Well, he had on his old clothes. I was all dressed up in my new white suit. Now it's ruined, too. Did the trousers shrink, Harold? They sure did. I'll have to dye him brown and wear them for Scoutmaster shorts. This would be such a nice day for Marvin to play outside, but I suppose you know best, Harold. Well, he has to be disciplined. And he thinks so much of you. Remember how we worked all last week in Woodshop, making you that smoking stand? Well, pretty wobbly. Every time I put a pipe on it, it tips over. Why don't you make up with him? Well, all right, Mother, what the heck? I knew you would. Yeah, Mother's right. Silly to stay mad at little Marvin. He's really a swell boy. Well, we're lucky to have him here. Marvin. Marvin. How are you, my boy? Marvin, I just wanted you to know that I... You sprinkled me first. Yes, well... You sprinkled me first. Marvin, I knew that. It wasn't... Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, my boy. This came in to say it was wrong of me to lose my temper. You don't have to stay in your room. I want you to run out and play. I don't want to. No, like a good little boy. I don't want to. Marvin, go out and play. I don't want to. Can't you say anything else? Yes, but... Give up. Clean up that broken glass. What a mess. $1.98, shot to pieces. I'm gonna get down here and pick up what's left of it. Howdy, Harold. Oh, hello, Pete. What's the matter, boy? Drop your watch. I heard about your little accident, Harold. Well, things certainly get around in this town. It sounds like a classy act you do. Skating on one leg into a pane of glass. Must have been a real smash finish. All right, all right, Pete, if Marvin hadn't... It was your fault, you sprinkled him first. I know that. How is Marvin? Well, kind of lost my temper, Pete, and told him to stay in his room. Tried to tell him I was sorry, but he wouldn't believe me. Oh, that's too bad. Pete, maybe if Marvin heard me telling you how sorry I am, he'd believe it. Harold, that is a idea. Yeah, come on. We'll go over and stand by his window. Got you, boy. Here we are. Got the window closed. You'll have to talk kind of loud, Pete. Got you, boy. Uh, Pete, did I tell you what I did to Marvin? Well, sure, Harold. You just told me out in front. Yeah, Pete, quiet. I forgot. Ain't I the do-do bird? Well, I'll do it this time, boy. Tell me, Harold, what did you do to little Marvin? What an actor. Well, Pete, I sprinkled him with a hose, and I got angry when he sprinkled me. Oh, my, you should not have done that. I should not have asked you to do this, either. I hope Marvin knows how sorry I am. I lost my temper. I hope so, too. If he could only hear what you are saying. Pete, the wind is going up. I guess he heard us. Uh, is that you, Marvin? Oh, Harold. I came over to play Parcheasy with Marvin. Where is he? Oh, I sent him down to the store for some ice cream. I guess he did not hear us, Harold. Well, I did. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Harold. You sprinkled him first. Oh, go clip a poodle, doc. Well, mother, I guess I'm not much of a success in raising a boy. No, Harold. You mustn't say that. Well, I made a lot of mistakes with little Marvin. Not understanding him when I should. And who's that? Excuse me, mother. Hello, Gloria. Why aren't you working down at the radio station? Well, I wanted to come out and see you a minute. Oh, well, come on in. Oh, I can't stay. I just wanted to tell you something. Tell me something? Anything wrong, Gloria? Well, you got a telegram, Harold. They phoned it to you. They phoned it to me at the station. I thought I'd better come out and tell you the message. It's from Marvin's aunt. Marvin's aunt? Yes. She just got back from her buying trip in Paris. Harold, she's coming this afternoon to take Marvin back to Chicago. What? Take little Marvin away? I'm sorry, Harold. Yeah. Thanks for coming out to tell me, Gloria. That's all right. Well, I'd better be getting back. Bye, Harold. Bye, Gloria. Harold. Do you hear what Gloria said, mother? Yes, I did, son. Well, we knew Marvin would have to leave us sometime. Yes, I just didn't think it would happen so soon. Neither did I. I suppose Marvin will be glad to go back with Aunt Natalie after the way I treated him today. No, Harold. Well, mother, you better go tell him to start packing. I guess you're pretty excited going back to a big city like Chicago? Yeah. Sure. Melrose Springs is just a hick town, anyway. They'll live in a nice apartment back there. Yeah. I guess I will. I guess you'll be glad to get back with Aunt Natalie again, too, Marvin. Yeah? About me making you stay in your room today. I... Well, just wanted you to know that... Well, guess that you're Aunt Natalie now. Hello, Emily. Hello, Natalie. It's so nice to see you. Harold, cousin Natalie's here. Oh, all right, mother. Excuse me, Marvin. I guess this is the best thing for Marvin. Hello, Harold. Well, hello, Natalie. My, you're looking well. Marvin's almost packed. You'll be right out. Well, I'm sorry to swoop down on you so suddenly, but I got called back to Chicago sooner than I expected. It's quite all right. Of course. And how is Marvin? Oh, he's fine. Yeah, fine. Well, I hope he hasn't been too much trouble. No, no trouble at all. Well, I don't know how to thank you both for taking care of him these last few months. Don't mention it. Do you have to leave right away? Yes, I'm afraid we do. Hello, Emily. Well, hello, Marvin. Oh, why, you look wonderful, so tan and healthy. You must have been very happy here. Yeah, I was. Well, I, I, I'm afraid we're going to have to be going. Come on, Marvin. All right. Goodbye, Emily, Harold. Thanks again. Goodbye. Goodbye, Natalie. Goodbye, Marvin. It's hard to believe that Marvin is gone, Harold. Yeah. Well, we had him for three months, mother. Yes. Excuse me. Boom, certainly looks empty. What's this? It's Father's Day, I say. My cousin Harold is a wonderful man. I guess he doesn't think so now. Wonder how he finished it. I thought no one could ever take my father's place till I came to live at Harold's house. It's been a real father to me. That's why this will be a happy Father's Day for me. Little Marvin. Harold! Marvin, I thought you'd gone. Harold, I don't want to go back to Chicago. You don't? I'd just like to stay with you if you want me. Won't you? Of course I do, my boy. I thought maybe you wanted me to go. I thought maybe you wanted to go. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Where'd we, silly? I guess we were both wrong. Oh, what about cousin Natalie? Well, she said I could stay wherever I'd be happiest. And I'd be happiest here, Harold. You would? She's waiting outside. Well, I'll go out and talk to her right now. Okay. Little Marvin's here to stay. I feel so good I can... Oh, what the heck? It's great to have a boy around the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good morning radio listeners of Melrose Springs. It's Honest Harold, your homemaker, bringing you your regular morning program. This morning, in answer to your many requests, I'd like to repeat something I did on this program several weeks ago, written by Alan Beck. It's called, What is a Boy? Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood, we find a delightful creature called a boy. Boys come in assorted sizes, weights, and colors, but all boys have the same creed to enjoy every second of every minute of every hour of every day and to protest with noise their only weapon when their last minute is finished and the adult males pack them off the bed at night. Boys are found everywhere on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around, or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them. Older sisters and brothers tolerate them. Adults ignore them. And heaven protects them. A boy is truth with dirt on its face. Beauty with a cut on its finger. He's in with bubble gum in its hair. And the hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. He likes ice cream, knives, saws, Christmas comic books. The boy across the street, woods, water in its natural habitat. Large animals, dad, trains, Saturday mornings and fire engines. He's not much for Sunday school, company, schools, books without pictures, music lessons, neckties, carvers, girls, overcoats, adults or bedtime. Nobody else is so early to rise or so late to suffer. Nobody else gets so much fun out of trees, dogs and breezes. Nobody else can cram into one pocket a rusty knife, a half-eaten apple, three feet of string, an empty bull-derm sack, two gum drops, six cents, a slingshot, a chunk of unknown substance, and a genuine supersonic code ring with a secret compartment. A boy is a magical creature. You can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but you can't get him out of your mind. Might as well give up. He's your captor, your jailer, your boss and your master. A freckle-faced, pint-sized, cat-chasing bundle of noise. When you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and dreams, he can mend them like new with those two magic words, hi, dad. Since this is to be your last show of the season, I hope that you, Kirk Douglas and Sheriff Visculus of Los Angeles County have selected an outstanding example of honesty for your award this evening. We did just that, Bob. We three selectors each picked a winner. You mean three winners? They will each be awarded a Wittenauer watch, that distinguished member of the Longene Wittenauer family of dependable watches. Say that's great. Who are they? Take it easy, Bob. You think you were getting one of those watches? It so happens that the three winners cooperated on the same honest deed. While playing in an alley off Wilmer Court in the Northwestern District of Baltimore, Maryland, three teenage boys stumbled into $3,400 in cash and emerged as heroes of the $15,000 robbery of Calbert's Bank, the Pennsylvania branch. After a small conference, the boys went directly to the Northwestern District police station and returned the money to Captain William Feely. Here's some pictures of them with their fine, Bob, published in the Afro-American Press. Their names are Joseph Cooper, 14, James English, also 14, and Ralph Johnson, age 12, all of Baltimore. Congratulations, boys. I hereby dub you honest Joseph, honest James, honest Ralph, and award you your Wittenauer watches. As Bob told you, this is our last show of the season. I'd like to thank all you wonderful listeners for your cooperation in the Honesty Award campaign and your wonderful encouraging letters on our new show, Honest Harold. My special thanks, especially tonight, to the boys here from the nearby field, San Diego, the Marine Corps. What's the field? Huh? I just wanted to hear you say it. Piddleton! My special thanks to CBS, our director, Norman McDonald, Joe Schweiger and Pat Wals, our engineers, Ham Keener, our assistant director, Gene Stone and Jack Robinson, our writers, who did so well with my little creation, to our cast, Jane Morgan as mother hemp, Parley Bear as Pete, Stuffy Singer as Marvin, Olin Soleil as Stanley Peabody, Cliff Arquette as old Mr. Walker, Lynn Allen, who played cousin Natalie tonight, David Light Jr. and Gene Twombly for their great sound effects, Lauren as Theodora, now a Moom Picture actor, actress, I should say, Shirley Mitchell, who plays Flora Bell and Jack Meakin, who conducts and composes our music and the Marlin Skiles, who fill in so ably tonight for Jack Meakin while he's in the hospital. Get well, Jack. The Bob LeMond, our announcer, Gloria Holliday or Mrs. Perry, who plays Gloria and Joseph Kearns for his lovable and loud character of old Doc Yak Yak. Special special thanks to Governor Warren who appeared with us some weeks ago for this glues of Los Angeles County and Screen actor Kirk Douglas for sitting in with me on the Honesty Awards. Goodbye and good luck to you all for this time. Good night. Copies of What is a Boy may be obtained by writing to the New England Mutual Life Insurance Company Boston, Massachusetts. Bert Wheeler, who's entertained you with his comedy on Broadway in the films and many times on the air will be Bing Crosby's guest on CBS Tonight. Stay tuned for the laughter and music that comes with the CBS Bing Crosby show which follows immediately on most of these same stations. Bob LeMond speaking. This is CBS where you meet Mr. Keane, tracer of lost persons every Thursday night. But Columbia Bob Casting, sister. Thank you, fellas. Good night.