Written by Rollo Tomassi
THE RATIONAL MALE - KINDLE OR PAPERBACK BOOK: http://wp.me/p3P5mL-65
The Soul-Mate Myth There is no ONE Chapter I The Cardinal Rule of Relationships You cannot negotiate genuine Desire This is a very simple principle that most Men and the vast majority of women are willfully ignorant of One the most common personal problems I've been asked advice for in the past 10 years is some variation of "how do I get her back?" Usually this breaks down into men seeking some methodology to return his relationship to an earlier state where a previously passionate woman couldn't keep her hands off of him Six months into a comfortable familiarity and the thrill is gone, but in truth it's the genuine desire that is gone It's often at this stage that a man will resort to negotiation Sometimes this can be as subtle as him progressively and systematically doing things for her in the hopes that she'll reciprocate with the same sexual / intimate fervor they used to have Other times a married or long term couple may go to couples counseling to "resolve their sex issues" and negotiate terms for her sexual compliance He'll promise to do the dishes and a load of laundry more often in exchange for her feigned sexual interest in him Yet, no matter what terms are offered, no matter how great an external effort he makes so deserving of reward, the genuine desire is not there for her In fact, she feels worse for not having the desire after such efforts were made for her compliance Her desire has become an obligation Negotiated desire only ever leads to obligated compliance This is why her post-negotiation sexual response is often so lackluster and the source of even further frustration on his part She may be more sexually available to him, but the half-hearted experience is never the same as when they first met when there was no negotiation, just spontaneous desire for each other From a male perspective, and particularly that of an uninitiated beta male, negotiation of desire seems a deductive, rational solution to the problem Men tend to innately rely on deductive reasoning; otherwise known as an "if then" logic stream The code is often something like this: I need sex + women have the sex I want + query women about their conditions for sex + meet prerequisites for sex = the sex I want Makes sense right? It's simple deductive pragmatism, but built on a foundation that relies on a woman's accurate self-evaluations The genuine desire they used to experience at the outset of their relationship was predicated upon a completely unknown set of variables Overtly communicating a desire for reciprocal desire creates obligation, and sometimes even ultimatums Genuine desire is something a person must come to -- or be led to -- of their own volition You can force a woman by threat to comply with behaving in a desired manner, but you cannot make her want to behave that way A prostitute will fuck you for an exchange, it doesn't mean she wants to Whether in a monogamous marriage, LTR or a one night stand (ONS), strive for genuine desire in your relationships Half of the battle is knowing you want to be with a woman who wants to please you, not one who feels obligated to You will never draw this genuine desire from her by overt means, but you can covertly lead her to this genuine desire The trick in provoking real desire is in keeping her ignorant of your intent to provoke it Real desire is created by her thinking it's something she wants, not something she has to do.
