 Piotr's Magic Radio by Michael John Carly. For at least three solid seconds before the curtain rises, we hear radio static. At rise, we see Piotr sitting in his lifeboat raft. Piotr has a long white beard. Piotr is shirtless, skinny. He wears a fishing net around his shoulders. The radio static continues. On the side of the lifeboat raft, two empty buckets of differing sizes are poised to catch and collect rain. At present, bucket only. Also on the side of the boat is an old radio from which the static is heard. Piotr at rise is asleep as he starts to awaken his voice. On awakening, he briefly looks around for sharks, and suddenly he spots something in the distance that amazes him. He sticks his finger in his mouth, holds it up to the breeze, and quickly gets excited. Storm! He breaks off, grabs the buckets clumsily, and scrambles to catch every drop. Please, please, please, please. He holds the bucket out as the cloud passes over his head. He sticks his tongue out, happily anticipating the drenching he figures he'll get. He cleans the cloud. Rain, dammit! Rain! Like watching a tennis ball go over the other side of the court, Piotr watches the cloud pass over his head and fly off into the distance without having given him a drop. Well, only I'd stayed a store, not going fishing 10 years ago. I'd be rich, and I wouldn't be here. Just a happy thought. Well, only I had a happy thought to keep me company. Just one thing. Then, when I'd get lonely, I'd just think that thought. Oh, oh my God. Land. I'm saved. I'm saved! Yahoo! What direction do they head for? I don't... Who's that? Human voice. Come on. Who's there? Radio drama? I said, who's there? Come on. Me. Who's me? And come out where I can see you. I mean it. Right now! Answer me. Who is that? I'm losing my mind. This isn't rigged up to be a... What? Nothing. It's just a... Oh, great. And now I'm talking to it. Who is that? Alexev? You sound like an old troll or something. Watch your goddamn mouth. I'm warning you. If this isn't my imagination and I'm really about to be saved, well, I'm going to be very rich soon and... What? Is that you, Alexev? Come on. Who is it? An old troll, huh? All right. I'll throw sanity to the forewinds. Just how old are you, may I ask? Uh... 18? 18. Stop being such an empty-headed little pipsqueak and listen up. I'm in an emergency. I don't have the exact coordinates as to where I am, but I need you to get off this frequency and send help as quickly as possible. Frequency? What are you talking about? Would you really call this fair? Here I am sitting comfortably by myself on an old comfy porch drinking a cup of nice, warming hot tea while you're somewhere there in the bushes getting all torn up, cold, uncomfortable, and only so that you can continue this stupid little joke that died five minutes ago. Now, why don't you come out and join me? It's that simple. And if you do, I'll be glad to go and fetch a cup for you as well. You're not near a radio? That does it. Get out of those bushes now. All right. Fine. I'll find you. Freak the hell out of you. Where are you? Why are you coming in on my radio? Coming in on your what? Don't toy with me. I've been lost at sea for many years. Wait till I find you. You think I'm gonna believe this? Somewhere in the year 2000 and there's someone who doesn't know what a radio is. You really expect me to buy that? I swear I'm gonna have your license revoked, you little shit. Hold it. What year did you say it was? 2000. Where are you? I'm in the year 2000. It's 1918. You're serious? Hello? I believe I've had a time warp with something with this thing. That is, of course, if you're not pulling a wonderfully extended joke on me. Where are you? As I've been trying to tell you, I've lost at sea. I have been for 10 years. I thought it was pretty far south. But if you're speaking Russian, then I'm near the Soviet Union. But then again, I couldn't be. Where are you? Saratov. Saratov? You know where it is. Yes, but Saratovs in lands, you're nowhere near the sea. No, I'm not any near any sea. That's for certain. But you know where Saratov is? Oh yes, I was stationed there for a short time. Yeah, I'm only here until tomorrow. Then we're leaving to fight the whites. Ah yes, the Civil War. That's what I was in Saratov for too. I was awaiting transportation. You fought the whites? I certainly did. Who knows? Maybe we fought together. That's it. That's it. That's the reason for all of this. What? Don't you see, you must be an old friend. Come to console me. You're an old friend. You've come to keep me company. Oh my God. My God, what's your name? Pirato Andrejevich. Hello? Wait. Are you still there? Yes. Sounds like you know me. Am I an old friend of yours? Oh God, do I believe this is happening? Do we really believe each other? Do you really believe that I come from the year 2000? Yes. Why? Just because you're not here. I've looked and you're simply not here. Your voice is clear. I can't figure out which direction it's coming from. It's like it's coming from every direction. And I think I hear water. You really do believe it then? Yes. You never answered. Am I an old friend? No, I'm afraid you're not. You're the reason for all my misfortune actually. All that crap you're following now. Never mind. Traitor! Why don't you come out where I can see you? A typical threat. What a dope. I don't believe this. Young man, I don't know why I want to have this discussion with anyone anymore, but in all my years I've yet to see what you believe and actually make anyone happy. How do you know what I believe in? I do. What do I believe in then? At the moment, communism. Remember, I come from the year 2000 where I know you'll beat the whites, but I have watched communism cause little else but suffering to the Soviet people. I've watched it deprive people of a decent standard of living. I've watched it imprison people. No prosperity shall come from that system. But the workers... Workers will display despair, a complete lack of initiative. No one will ever desire to work hard or produce simply because there's no reward for our hard work of production. Slackers get as much money as a hard worker, so why be a hard worker, right? How about the knowledge that you're participating in something greater than yourself? Oh, like what a cause, I suppose. It's reward enough for me. It would be. Listen, you sick old man. I certainly hope I don't grow up to be anything like you. Well, you will. Old man, where are you? I told you where I am. I'm tired of what I'm hearing. Why don't you have the guts to give me something I can see and stop blathering on like an idiot? You think I'm blathering? Well, maybe I am. I ask for a happy thought and I get to tell you what I think of you after ten years in this boat. This, my chance for some long-desert petty satisfaction. I'm not going to make nice nights with the cause of all my misery. Which is what? Your naive and underdeveloped ideological elements for starters. What I believe in. Yes. Old man, I'm fighting the ones that imprison, torture, murder, rape. I'm seeing the contrary to what you say, so I know you're wrong. Since last year, we've been in the process of getting two thirds of the country that can't read into schools. We're getting medicine to people who used to die in the streets while people walked by wearing their excess winter coats and laugh till their stomachs hurt. I know you fought the Tsar. You're just such a hero, Pietra. Always worth. Three years ago, of course, you shot your own leg five times in order to get out of the army. Who the hell are you? There's a great famine coming soon where you are. Stock up on the essentials. Avoid the Siberian regions. What are you talking about? The system will have more than a few problems before it becomes remotely functional. I know this, but from where I'm from, I know this. Do back there then. Pietra. What? My name's Pietra, too. Pietra and Brevich, just like you. Why? Because I'm you or you're me, whatever. You were born in St. Petersburg in 1900 and soon moved to the country. Your mother, Kolkashka, died when you were seven. And your father, Gregor, still works as a lumberjack. He's one of those people you mentioned who can't read. You found this out on one of the nights he was supposedly reading your story. He would hold up, open a book and make up stories as he went along, flipping the pages at random so that you'd think he knew how to read so that you'd want to learn how to read yourself. One day when he'd started learning how to read, you noticed that the book he was reading from was upside down. And you've yet to tell him you know you can't read. Hello. I'm here. Do you believe me? Yes. I believe you. Good. Do you have time machines where you come from? No. Then why is this happening? Good question. I think I may have an answer to that. What is it? Listen, and listen very carefully. I think I'm supposed to tell you things that will save my life and help me to prosper, help us to prosper. I think you can save our life. How? You must give up the fight, go to America, start a business, prosper, thrive, buy, sell and sell all investments in the stock market before 1929. In the late 30s, build things for the government on a fat government contract, then invest in tax-free municipal bonds. Wait, wait, wait, hold on a minute. America, what the- Well, we'll be rich just go. Why would I want to- You idiot, this is the chance of a lifetime, hour of lifetime. Tax-free what? I'm telling you, communism failed. It's over. I saw it happen. Everyone's no doubt making oodles of money in the Soviet Union and I'm lost at sea. It's not fair, it's not fair, I was going to be rich. Wealth should be shared by one and all. Oh, shut up! It scares me that I'm to become you. Oh, don't you worry, you've got plenty of years ahead of you as an idle party member. Well, for many years you'll be regarded as a man who is spirited, brave and has such a lust for life. Everyone else will comment on that they should lead their lives as fully as you lead yours. You, you'll never experience such petty feelings as vanity, greed or spite. No, not you. Everyone else wants to be as spirited, brave and as lustful for life as you. Oh, the adventures you'll be able to recall when you're older. Tales of physical daring do. Stories of rough and tumble barren brawls where you alone mop up the floor. The time you escape the murals on horseback. The jump off the train will be captured by the whites. And you'll enjoy telling these stories to your co-workers. At the bank will you be assigned for 50 years. Uh, bank? Counting change. They're going to place me in a bank? Yes, they are. In an office? In a killer's window. You're going to learn to become a whipping boy. No more sleeping outside for you. No more wearing whatever you feel like. No more adventures with others as adventurous as yourself. No more dreams of flying an airplane. So save yourself some time and get rid of those wishes right now. There's no more fresh air for you. Now you will be placed with men who hold the foreman's good words of evaluation as the most thrilling feelings they will ever endure in their miserable petty lives. That's what you have to look forward to. 50 years of it. Leave now. Go to America. Whether you know it or not, there will come a time in your life in which you'll want to buy things. You'll have to settle with your apartment. You'll want the best of everything for your family or your children, but you won't be able to obtain it. You don't know how much that hurts. I know you don't have a family yet, but you will. And having that family will make you want more money. Whether you know it or not right now. Go to America. Piotr, where will you go? I might. We'll beat the whites. Oh, in a civil war, yes, the Bolsheviks will win, but you mustn't be with them. Once the civil war is over, they won't let you leave. After that, they'll start refusing exceases. So you can't go fight. They won't let us leave? That isn't Marx. Doesn't matter. They're doing it. They won't let us leave. They won't let us leave? That isn't Marx. Doesn't matter. They'll do it. Answer me. I need to ask you some questions first. Certainly go ahead. Well, first off, why would they place me in a bank? It hurts, doesn't it? I don't know. You should have stayed in the army, maybe. I thought for a while that maybe I offended someone high up somehow, somewhere. We're all heart and mouth, you and I, and we're not particularly smart. Will Americans ever be deprived of medicine because they don't have enough money? No, they won't. You're lying. All right. All right. Yes, they will, but that's so meager if you compare it with... How about education? Will the best education be reserved only for those that can afford it, or will the best students finally receive the best education? Well, there are some scholarships. The answer is no. All right. Those are two things. There are ways to make anything happen in America. Those two things are very important to me. Well, why can't you fight for those things in America? Maybe. It's you talking. Let's get some money for once in our life by Irina, some nice things. Irina? My wife. Your wife. She likes me? I'm not. I'm not. I'm sorry I mentioned it. I really am. Please, take your eyes off Irina for a second and look at me. For close to 10 years, I've lived on the water alone in his boat, eating raw fish and seaweed, nothing else, and sometimes I don't even get that. When I don't, I have an imitation leather wristband from an old watch. I use it as a sort of tea there. When I'm hungry, it feels good when I'm chewing. Your jaw muscles get their exercise and the chewing induces saliva. As I speak, there's a group of sharks hovering around my little vessel as they always do on this time of day. It's amazing. They come at the beginning of dusk and stay for exactly 90 minutes. I know them all by name. I was able to name them by the imprints of green mold on the tops of their fins that I see gliding around and around my craft. I've been waiting for weeks, the same bunch, keeping me company. I'm so lonely that I look forward to their arrival. Can you believe that? I get desperate sometimes, waiting for the time when they'll come. They cheer me up. I'm bored. Each landless horizon I'm confronted with remains identical. It's like you never move. Dawns and sunsets disappear quickly and patiently, impatient to be rid of the event, considered of their lone audience member who'd like for them to take their time every once in a while. My skin, my skin is likely the hardest in the world from all these years of salt air. My chest, stop a bullet. I go to bed and wake up with water in my boat. My one curiosity, the one thing that keeps my mind from going as much as the radio I'm hearing you on. It has magically sustained power all these years. Who don't know what a radio is, would find it to be a magical device, all right? I wonder how it works, how music or news events could possibly be contained on an invisible thread of air. You'd be amazed. The static I get when there's no station nearby is nice. Actually, I often listen to the static and pretend I'm the last person on Earth. I pretend that all land, vegetation, Earth has been covered by water. I alone have survived. That game makes it easier on me when I think of all the money I could be making other re-enterprises exist in the Soviet Union. You mentioned that before. Yes. Communism fell ten years ago, 1990. The same year I started out in this boat and fell asleep. I know I would have made millions. We were all going to... Russia must be so rich now. Look past my greed and please have some pity. This is your prison sentence too. I've done the honest, hard working bit. Let's be the privileged ones for a while. Our country is ripe for investment and America always was. Take me away. There were nights which you might remember. Nights where I... We were being hunted by government troops. We were lost. Cold. We were standing guard while friends slept and we counted stars. Without a single possession to our name, we were looking up at the sky and wondering how is it possible that such magical things exist? Those nights like every beautiful experience I remember in my life thus far, however short that is those experiences weren't made wonderful by money. Money never resulted in any of the truly good times I've had in my life. Did it in yours? He's trying to be a poet about it. I'm asking honestly. Sincerely, did money have anything to do with the best times in your life? You're saying no to me, aren't you? Did it? How would I know? I never had it! I can't go to America. I mean, this is my life. Going to fight the whites. I'm not old. I'm sorry you are, but I'm not. And Irina likes me. I don't know why, but I can't leave. Haven't you heard a word I just said? I have. And I think I believe everything you're saying, and I mean that. But I don't know you at all. And I'm afraid I don't really like you. Oh really? Not a bit. So I get to stay at sea. I guess so. Yeah. I can't believe this is happening. I've got to go inside. Wait, wait, just a damn minute. If you're really going to leave me, you can at least have the compassion to do me one favor, okay? I feel like I've been sentenced to suffer this twice. What is it? We can save ourselves these sea-fearing days at least, and I'm pretty sure quite easily. In about 72 years can you just make sure you don't set out on a boat, please? Can you remember to do that for me? I know it's an awfully long time and it might be hard to remember, but... Yes. You will. I promise. Yes, sir. I'll try to remember. Oh, thank you. That would be wonderful. Good luck. Thanks. And don't forget now, 72 years. Write it down. He's gone. All right. Here it comes. We're going to prosper in the Soviet Union. Close your eyes. Once in a while. You didn't remember. Hello? Hello? You're still there? Yes, I'm still here. It didn't seem right for me to leave like that. Thank you for coming back. You understand, don't you? I'm glad you live in a world at peace. But I don't. I live in a time where a lot of people are dying. I'm a witness to it. It's right in front of my face. And I can't run from that. I don't know. Do you remember any of it? A little. What changed me? I don't know exactly. I could blame a man called Stalin. I could blame Nazis, the Germans. They killed 19 million of us. I could blame the 45 years after that, which just made for a depressing life. I could blame all those years in a bank. I could also blame myself. I'm not going to remember any of this, am I? What? Do you remember all this? Hearing a voice in the air in the evening in Saratov when you were sitting on a porch drinking tea. Do you remember being my age and having all this happen to you? No. No, I don't. I won't remember any of this after I leave you. No. I won't. I'm not going to remember any of this history. I'm not going to remember that Irina likes me or that I won't get to fly or that I'll live to be a hundred and that I know in the future for 72 years from now. I'm not going to remember to avoid going out on a boat. I know here! Write it all down! Then you'll know! Then you'll remember! Have you got a pen? Oh, yes, yes, yes, I do. Oh, it's right here in my... No! He grabs the radio, cradles it, falls to it, cries. He brings his head up. He scans the horizon. Come on back in 19... This is the end of the world playing and being wiped clean. Wait, wait, wait a minute. Perhaps I did... I went back in time. Perhaps it's now 1918! And when I hit land, I'll be a world war and then cars will have to be wound up and I'll have the first radio ever made and I'll become rich because of it. Ha, ha, ha, ha! No, I guess not. And so the man who was so spirited, brave and at such a lust for living, fell asleep in a boat and was made to drift for years and years. Alone lamenting his long-sad, stupid life before passing away, amidst the same stars, he once counted 80 years ago. He checks his water jug, inventorying his few belongings. Still need rain. Pause. He takes in the presence of the sharks. Oh, hello gentlemen. How are you all today? I've had company. I'm sorry if I neglected you, but... Oh, I see Jeff Chanco's got himself a tortoise shell today. Very nice. Ah. We have lots to talk about today, gentlemen. I have a lot of thinking to do. Oh, gentlemen, the things I was going to do across the deserts explore the Arctic, climb the Himalayas. I used to imagine flying an airplane. Just me. No co-pilot. It was an older plane from around the 30s or so. Thank you, sir. Anyway, I'm cruising slowly at 10,000 feet this night and I'm flying over the sea. Somewhere amongst the stars I see arena's face drawn over the entire sky and she's smiling at me. I shake it off and press on. I keep my course steady until wave above me. But again, this time she's sitting on a cloud waiting for me and I've been so lonesome. So it's a bit higher and higher. As I get more and more altitude the more wonderful I fear. It's more fear and more thrill than I've ever felt in my life. And my whole planet starts to rumble and creak and crack instruments start to pop out of their sockets until quietly. Without a sound my airplane falls apart. Blood channels and wind are silently disengaged from each other. And while I make it by myself up to the cloud an arena's side the grief for my craft is dispersed by wind and falls quietly into the sea. I'm there with my arena forever. That's the last anyone ever heard of saw of me. So I want to thank everybody for coming. I'm in the Spectrum Theatre Ensemble Studio makeshift studio as it were and I'm opposite David Adams Murphy who just played Piotr and so we're masking up to be near each other and he obviously was a mess for his performance. David you're welcome to join us if you'd like. Also joining us is Michael John Carly the playwright for Piotr's Radio. Hey Michael John. Hey how you doing Dewey? I'm doing great. Congratulations all and thank you so very much. Yeah absolutely it's been a treat to work on this one. We were all talking about it last week. This is a very Bernie friendly play. Oh boy. That's free. Yeah a little political messaging that it's so funny to me because you wrote this what in 1990? Yeah yeah well you know it was really funny I hate to say this but you know I really have been one of those like lifelong socialists but back then you know the actual organized socialist parties were just forgive me full of the biggest losers you've ever come across. They had nothing to do with them. They used the word imperialist after every third word it would just drive you nuts. No they were not. So yeah it's you know I was surprised too that you know when something this old you know and granted you know I shouldn't be the one to say this you know but I was you know after rereading it after decades when Clay and you guys you know chose this play I was like they chose that one that's kind of a fluffy little fairy tale but you know I mean it's a nice play but why did you use that one then I went and re-read it and you know residents or non-residents um structurally in terms of building a narrative it was one of the best things I've ever done and I see that now you know all the full lengths you know and uh you know I never I never noticed this in all my years as a playwright back then so go figure I think I very much enjoyed working on this um and it's like kind of tiptoeing the line between uh comedy and drama and um I was interested in uh you know it seems like it's Pierre talking to himself um how when you wrote this in 1990 um how this maybe like reflected what you were going through you mentioned the socialist party but um were there was there anything else like almost like you wanted to give advice to your younger self or like the the maybe a little resentment that you couldn't stop your stupid I know that I don't know if anyone else here can feel this but I if I could find 18 year old Teddy I might smack him in the face and be like put yourself together bro um and uh um yeah I don't know if that because that is definitely something in doing young Pierre that that that that spoke to me and thinking about like how frustrated I would be with my past self how different am I from my 18 year old self um and only being 32 you know I'm not that far away from it if I was a hundred um it just it seems like almost in some ways you know not only do I fear I wouldn't like my 18 year old self but I fear my 20 year old self I don't want to be like me Teddy I think you're hitting on something it's actually quite universal to all ages and that's the concept that the grass is always greener dot dot dot you know I mean I was 25 when I wrote this so I didn't really have a younger self to write it to but what I did have was an older self that I was petrified of becoming you know and I think that was at one point about the only like issue of like personal resentment that I found you know as a person when I was 25 years old that seeped into this play was the resentment that older peoder felt towards you as younger peoder because you were spirited because you were adventurous because you wanted to do all these crazy things at the time you know part of all this you know Eastern European thing you know was influenced by having run run from cops for five months behind the iron curtain you know it was from another five months of playing an eighth rate Jack Kerouac you know and living out of my car you know working odd jobs to pay for food and gas and I at this point I think I still had another big trip planned where I was just going to go on a fishing boat that doesn't touch land for like three months and you know I was just into doing that kind of stuff and I wasn't really getting a lot of accolades for it people were critical it was like oh that's you know that's so wrong that's so stupid you know it's just like you know what you know 1921 novel are you reading you know and all this sort of jazz and I was like wow man I'm trying to be brave and fun man everybody's picking on me so that was the only like bitter you know baggage that I kind of brought to it the rest was really just you know the concept that I grown up with of just you know whatever you wanted to call it socialism whatever but I mean I always felt from a very young age that the quality of legal representation you've got the quality of healthcare you've got and the quality of education you've got shouldn't be dependent on how much money you have that's just not fair and you know so that was just how I've always been it's really fun I think it's really interesting to me too that this is set in 2000 and you wrote it in 1990 I wonder if that resonates actually because yeah because you were talking about like how great the Soviet Union would be when you were writing it you know like that's really interesting to me well remember actually it had collapsed we knew that it had just become yeah exactly like but it just collapsed when you wrote the play you know right and you know it was funny because I was in the peace and justice world too you know and I was just starting out kind of in a you know a stupid day job career with them and I was noticing already that a lot of the older guys that you know I had the same values that I did but they were they would really struggle to look at you know some of the criticisms you know that they would have of these governments you know and you know these are really hard times it's like one of the references I just picked up on today that I was like oh man that's a flaw in the play was you know when young peoder and old peoder are talking about fighting the whites and you know I don't think there's enough expository information to this you know this day maybe contextualize it a little bit for today yeah the Russian history it's like you know after the Bolshevik revolution I mean these guys were fighting little civil wars all over the place and enduring family life sucked then they had a couple of good years and then Stalin comes along and then it's really going to suck you know so and you can still be a true socialist but not have to deny all those horrors that those folks did you know you don't have to be like the Green Bay paper that you know still thinks that socialism is the same thing as communism nice nice so I mean I hope other people pick up this play and do it because I just think it's such it's like a wonderful little treasure thank you yeah it's been really fun to work on I've I've certainly had a ball watching you guys at work and you did a phenomenal job with it doing the text you know the both of the actors you know just just nailed everything there's no script deep script analysis or anything like that that I had to you know like wave a magic wand and teach anybody you guys got it I'm right from the get go from that rehearsal I saw so it's just really it was just you just made it fun and promise me I mean you know not promise me no I promise you you know when you're seeing something like this for the first time after decades some day I'll have the words to tell you what that's like but I don't have them right now yeah well it's been a real blast to work on it thank you Michael John cool thank you work with us it's it's been awesome getting to know it and you much better Teddy as you know I'm here for a year babe we're gonna get to know each other a lot better yes more to come looking forward to it well thank you all so much and we're gonna take a little break now but we'll be back at five at five at five I believe we have a play I directed a simulation of the mundane bedlam that is sensory overload by Charles L Hughes and a conversation after that great and then we're gonna end the night off by showing a preview of our sizzle reel and I claim B Martin and Dan Boyle and myself will have a discussion and we'll call it a night alright well thanks so much please check out our facebook page and our website we appreciate any donations if you're able and stay tuned we got a lot more coming up today and tomorrow so thanks again everybody thank you great job guys