 Welcome to It's About Time on ThinkTech from our downtown studio at the core of Honolulu. I'm your host Becky Sampson, a professional motivational speaker, author, and coach. Do you ever ask yourself, why do I do what I do, especially when it comes to getting what you really want out of life? And do you keep attracting things that you don't want? After a lifetime of struggle with my weight, I have lost 130 pounds and been maintaining that weight loss for over nine years now, and I can attest that if you don't understand how to master your mind, you will always get stuck in the merry-go-round of what you don't want. Uncovering and understanding the real culprit to unhealthy habits might be easier than you think. Joining me here in the studio today is Al Grineal, owner of TrueSpeak.com. Today we're going to be answering that question, is why do we do what we do? Uncovering the mind to master our results. So welcome. Hi, Becky. I'm so happy to be here. Hi, Al. It's so fun. You are such a joy. I'm glad that you said yes to coming on the show today because I know that you are right, MacDab, in the middle of this world of teaching people about their minds. And I know with my own personal results, it is really, it starts with where we think. Correct. So tell me kind of like what your backstory is and what got you stored into this industry of teaching people about their mind and getting the results that they want. I think it starts with that. I've always been a wordsmith, like such an avid reader at a really young age. And very early on, I understood the power of your language. There's always the right word, right? You can say there's a lot of books in the library or you can say the library has a vast amount of books. So I think that started it all in me thinking about language and words and then I became a writer and then I started to realize that I was not getting, even though I was doing all the motivational stuff and I was doing it right, things weren't happening. And so I put that together with the idea of words and words start from your thoughts. They don't start from an action. They don't start from an emotion. Then that kicked me into the whole neuroscience of how the brain processes information and neural pathways and all that kind of stuff and it just blew me away. And I've been doing that research now over 30 years because there's always new stuff that they're finding all the time. And to help people understand that it's easier than they think, like you said, it's just people aren't taught the process. So we're always thinking forward and in order to get what we want, we need to sometimes think backwards. Exactly. And I think it's unwinding that. I know when you and I were having a conversation the other day, I was telling you I remember the first time I really learned about this stuff about 10, 11 years ago. It blew my mind, like literally, because you're going, no, it's more of our control than we really think in being able to make massive changes. So what are some of the problems that you see in society now and in our communities? Like you said, a lot of us, we start going in these circles and not getting what we want. What's the main problems? Like what are people dealing with? I think the main thing is we've evolved into this real solution-based society that it needs to happen quickly or something's wrong. Instant gratification. Yes. And so that's, I think, part of the problem. And the other problem is our poor communication skills now, because we don't have to, people don't do what we're doing right now. So through texting and emails, a lot gets lost in translation. So we're losing our ability to communicate effectively. And then to top that off, we're just a society also who's very open to blaming instead of accepting responsibility. It's just easier to blame because it also gets to a faster result. Not a good result, but a faster result. So that's what I'd like people to really be thinking about, taking ownership of everything and figuring out what they want instead of what they don't want. So isn't that interesting? How do you, when you work with people or that you've seen, how do you take somebody from somebody that's been a complete victim in their life to making that shift of taking responsibility? Like how does that happen or how does the brain simulate that? I like first to have people just say how they feel, right? They're just coming in and they're like, I can't help it because this and that or I was poor or I was the youngest child or whatever. So I let them just get that out, right? Get it out of your head, verbalize those words. And then my favorite part in coaching is I say, okay, so what do you want? And that's like mind-blowing. People have never been asked, well, what do you want? And they're speechless usually for a while, or it's like, wow. It's easy for them to say what I don't want, right? I don't want this kind of relationship. I don't want this kind of result. I don't want, but yeah, isn't it funny that when you work with people, it's like, what do you want? And they go, I don't know if I've really thought about that. Exactly. So if someone says, they come to me and they're like, I don't want to smoke anymore. I'm like, cool, I don't want to smoke anymore either. So what do you want? They still don't know. They say, well, I don't want to smoke anymore. I'm like, well, what does that look like? It's really difficult for them to realize it looks like more money in my pocket. I can taste food again. I can breathe again. Possibilities. Yeah, those are the steps that get you to no longer being a smoker. But when we have these things that we don't want, all of a sudden it's just like a gate that just locks our creative processes and being able to problem solve. Yeah, and how does the brain really, I know there's a lot of studies out there and you probably know, but the studies of when you say I don't want something, your brain goes immediately to getting more of that. Yes. So how does the brain work? That works two ways. So the first way is your brain is actually positively positive. Your brain can only create. It can't take away. Your ego does that later. So your brain can't do no, don't. So if I say to you, don't pitch your pepperoni pizza, bam. There it is, right? If I ask Alexa, don't play Backstreet Boys, bam. A Backstreet Boys song is going to play. That's a really great point. So once you can stop saying what you don't want, then your brain can start getting you more of that which you desire. And then that just gets followed up with you. When you're focused exactly like what you say on what you don't want, you get more of that because that's your vibration that you're putting out there is what you don't want. And you think that might be good. Like, well, I'm getting more of what I don't want, but because the brain can't do don't, you're actually getting more of that which you're trying to avoid. Which is super frustrating for people, right? I don't want to be overweight anymore. I don't want to be in this particular relationship or I don't want to be poor anymore or those kind of things. And that's where we focus on expands. And that's something I would really encourage the listeners that if you really are stuck that way, we really gotta start taking responsibility for what we think about all day because we will produce those things out in our outward life. That's why that question is so powerful. Well, what do you want? You're like, well, I want to be healthier. Yay, what does that look like? Well, you keep asking the right questions instead of saying, why does this always happen to me or why do I always gain the weight back? Your brain's gonna answer that question. And those aren't empowering answers that you're getting. They deflate you. Whereas you say, well, what do I want and how can I get it? Your brain also answers you, but in a way more powerful way. Yeah, I think, so one of the things that you've done, you've been in fitness, right? For many, many years. Tell us a little bit about that and how you got into that and how that's taught you a lot about how the brain works. I never in a million years thought I'd become a fitness professional. I was never a little girl saying, one day I'm gonna be a neurobic instructor because I can count to eight. It's really been this wonderful journey of where I was able to begin teaching fitness classes just to fill the time in a martial arts studio. He had some downtime. He's like, I want the housewives in here working out. So that was a long time ago. And so that just evolved and I got certified and credentialed and became a CEC provider and kind of infamous in the fitness community. So I've been teaching fitness classes since 1984. And what that does is it allows me to keep on using these positive phrases and messages out to people, teaching them how to think positively and then teaching them how to love the body they're in right now because you've got to honor where you are before you're ever gonna get any better and people don't understand that. They just want that. But if you don't love this, then you don't deserve that. You gotta love this first so you can step into that. So that have just evolved into my first book, The Chocolate Cake for the Thighs, the Anti-Diet Book for Women. Oh, you didn't tell me about that one. Yeah, yeah, that was 2006. And I still randomly get residual checks for it, which just blows me away. It makes me so happy. And basically it's just 101 tips on how to think and feel healthier and happier. Oh, I think you did mention that. You did mention that because I know that that's been a real passion of yours. It's helping people with their health and also your own journey with that, right? I mean, I think everybody that's listening can at some degree relate to some frustration around our weight or about our bodies and that sort of thing. And I'd love that you bring up that point that you need to be able to accept where you're at. That's hard. Like talk about that, how hard that is sometimes when you're working with people. It's difficult because where we are today, unfortunately for a lot of people, is a tethering to the past. So you think this is the best you can hope for or the best that you can be, even though you really desire something else. For some reason, we don't think it's possible because the past results have sabotaged us. So we've had enough sabotage to feel like why bother. But the problem is, is we are too much relying on the past, which is what other people think of us, where we've been in the past and we're not able to realize that those are all learning lessons and that we can move forward from there. So just own it, just say, I did this and I did that and yeah, that was stupid. And this is what I learned. I've been on a bunch of diets in the past, crazy diets and I look back like, well, what was I thinking? Well, I was thinking it was gonna work this time. Yeah, you were doing the best that you know how and I always tell people too, is that you never know when that moment will happen or your whole life will change. You know, if you give up the hope that there's something out there that's a solution that's gonna help you or maybe a new way of thinking of things or the new way of doing things, then you give also the opportunity to see the miracle happen. I know, yes. I call it the yet process. Like it's like, well, maybe you just haven't lost your weight and kept it off yet. Or maybe you haven't got the job or the relationship or whatever it is that you feel, you just don't have it yet. So that's the hope is in the yet. It's so important to stay hopeful, it really is. And even though you feel like you may have had a string of failures, the success comes in learning from the failures. Like what did I learn? So that you can move forward. It's when you don't learn the lesson and you repeat this, like I'll never go on one of those famous diets ever, ever again because I finally learned the lesson after going on a few of them about how 100% the weight's gonna come back on. I don't know if there's exceptions to the rule, but it's important to understand what you learned from those, why they didn't work. So that next time, you don't make those same mistakes and you get closer to the hopeful yet of tomorrow. Yet, I know. I wish yet was just the hope, right? Because we never know. We just never, never, never know. So what are some other, any other problems that you see when people are, so I love that you brought up the fact that you've got to get them thinking about the future and imagining. Like what is it that you want? You mean I've never had that before, but how do we get you there? So painting the vision. We talked a lot about that last week, actually, with the vision of keeping our vision clear so that we know where we're gonna target. What else do you do with someone to kind of get them to shift from that? Everything in my life is, I'm someone else's fault, to how do I, okay, how do I just look at it? It's just information and move forward because that's really a critical first step. Yes, because it is just information. And you were lucky to have experienced that so that now you have that information and you can take more or better action going forward. I can't remember who to give the credit to, but there's a famous quote that says, obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal. And that's what happens is people allow everything in the past, like if you're like this and if you're living your life over your shoulder, you're for sure gonna crash, you need to always be looking forward and what's my next step, right? And so in order to be able to do that, you need a plan. And again, it goes back to saying, well, what do I want instead of what do I not want? And then you just keep taking those baby steps forward. And what's cool about that is like, I used to live in Huntington Beach and there was this long stretch, Bolsa Chica where you could see all these like guard towers, right? It was a nice long stretch of beach. So if you started walking after amount of time, you could see more lifeguard towers that you couldn't see when you were back there. Didn't mean they didn't exist. Didn't mean they weren't for you to see. It just meant you needed to do the actions to be able to see that vision. And that's how we get to see around the corner. People always want to know what's coming. The only way to know what's coming is to start moving. I love it, get into action. And we're gonna talk more after the break, really dive into some practical stuff that you can do in diving back into why do you do what you do and why do you think the way that you do? So we're gonna take a short break. I'm Becky Samson. This is It's About Time on Think Tech. We're talking to Elle Grineal about why we do what we do uncovering the mind to master your results. Stay tuned for we'll be right back. Thanks to our Think Tech underwriters and grand tours. The Atherton Family Foundation. Carol Mun Lee and the Friends of Think Tech. The Center for Microbial Oceanography Research and Education. Collateral Analytics. The Cook Foundation. Dwayne Kurisu. The Hawaii Community Foundation. The Hawaii Council of Associations of Abarbon Owners. Hawaii Energy. The Hawaii Energy Policy Forum. Hawaiian Electric Company. Integrated Security Technologies. Galen Ho of BAE Systems. Kamehameha Schools. MW Group. The Shidler Family Foundation. The Sydney Stern Memorial Trust. Volo Foundation. Yuriko J. Sugimura. Thanks so much to you all. Hi, we're back. I'm Becky Sampson and it's about time. And I'm with Why Do We Do What We Do, talking about uncovering the mind to master our results. And we're talking to Elle Ronell. Right, did I say that right? Yes, absolutely. Sorry. Okay, and she is a master at the mind. And before break, we kind of talked about how important it is that we get clear on our vision and we know what we want versus what we don't want. So that we can be able to train the brain. So I know something that you teach about is this T-process. It's kind of funny kind of what that is. Okay, it's my favorite. I call it the secret ingredient. It's the one thing that people or the process that people are missing, right? In knowing what they want, but not knowing how to get there. And so before we were talking about blame, so that's an action and a feeling. And what happens is before any of that even happens, we first have a thought. So T stands for your thoughts will lead to your emotions, which then lead to your actions, right? For better or for worse. So this can go for you. It doesn't have to go against you any longer because now you're aware. Now it's in your awareness. So always, you're always going to do it backwards. Like I mentioned earlier, you got to think backwards. So when you have an action, like say you keep going to fast food over and over again, that's an action. And so you got to back it up too. Well, why am I doing that? You know, well, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm frustrated, you know, whatever. So that's your emotion. But then you got to go to the core. The root of the problem was first you had a thought. And the thought was, I don't want to cook. Or, you know, it doesn't matter. Nobody cares if I go through fast food. I'm lazy. I'm lazy. It's hot. I'm tired. Yeah, it's hot. And so once you can change the thought, so now your thought can become, I choose healthy food. I choose to plan my day. I choose to make sure that I don't have to eat poorly any longer. I choose to make healthy choices. Once you can keep spinning those thoughts around, then your emotions, just saying like those three sentences, like pick you up, yes. And then your actions will be, okay, well, I'll keep bars or nuts in the car. So I can just have that little protein snack. I don't get hangry and I can make it home. Hangry. Tell people what the word. I love that. I use that as well. Like what does hangry mean? I do. I don't know if Snickers made it up, but they started it. Yeah, and so they had a commercial where people would be really ugly or scary because they were so hungry, they were angry and mean. And then once they had the bite of the bar, so that's like the protein, then you automatically, you stabilize. And you can think more clearly once you don't have that crazy blood sugar thing going on. And so you don't have to feel that way, but when you start to feel that way, then you know it's time to go grab one of my little healthy snacks. That you've put around everywhere. So you gotta unwind. I love it. We have a graphic that kind of goes over this that talks about the equation. I love equations. If I can live by equations, like the thought leads to emotion, emotion leads to action, and then action leads to results. So if there's something in your life that you wanna change, then look at the result that you're getting. Do you want it or do you not, right? That's kind of what we're looking at. If you don't want it, then how do they go back? So they go back one step, look at the actions that they're creating. Right, the actions that are getting that result. And what's really, I'd like to mention here too, really important to understand, inaction is also an action. Yes, I love that. So choosing not to do something, which is procrastination, is also an action that leads to a result. So you get the results no matter what. And so we want the results that we love and are proud of. So we're gonna set up actions that support what we want. You have to ask yourself, well, what do I want, not what do I not want? And then really let yourself think about what that feels like. You know, like when you say, well, this evening I'm gonna go to a fitness class and it's gonna be fun, right? You just roll that little story out and you see yourself there having fun and everything. You already know what outfit you're gonna wear. Leaving, exhilarated. Yes, pumped up. Meeting new friends, allow yourself to get in that high vibe emotional state because that's where it all really lives and that vibration is in your emotions. And then you start vibrating other positive people and things into your life. And then remember that you've got to keep making those, it's like when people have to clean the gutters out on their homes, they get full of leaves, right? So the gutters are there, but they don't work if there's a bunch of crap blocking, blocking the flow. So that's why you must keep thinking the thoughts that you want. Cleaning those gutters and rewiring those neuropathways so that your brain has a new way of thinking that's really clear. So talk about neuropathways, because I mean that's something I love. I told you, I started learning about quantum physics like what, 12 years ago, 11, 12 years ago? And when I first started studying about the brain and the neuropathways and how they work and why it's so difficult to make changes sometimes, I couldn't sleep at night. So tell everybody if this is a new thing to you, I mean listen carefully, because if you think that you're going crazy because you can't change, it's not necessarily to you, it's how you're choosing to rewire the brain. Talk about the neuropathways, what are they? How do we change them? What purpose do they serve? So in a nutshell, when you think of the brain, you know how it looks like a walnut, right? And so all of those pathways you see, those are the larger ones, but underneath there are so many little firings and things and synapses and they kind of connect and talk to each other if they're related. So there's this great network going on that is our mind. And so when you start to bring in new information, new synapses and pathways need to be created if they're totally out like something you thought you never could do, doesn't mean you can't. You just need the roadmap, how to get there. And in some cases you need to actually build the road, which is a process, but so worth it. Otherwise you're never gonna get there. And so instead of beating yourself up, like you always turn right when you leave your house, right? Because that's where work is and da, da, da, da. Maybe one day you wanna walk the dog in the parks to the left. You leave your house and you go right. So you don't beat yourself up, you just turn around and go the other way. So that's what's really important is that when you do an old pathway or whatever. An old habit. Yes, instead of beating yourself up, just go, hey, I caught this, yay, yay me. Now I'm gonna go the other way. I'm going to get what I want, which is over here. And so you do that with action. And it is gonna feel uncomfortable at first. I always like the analogy of you fold your arms and then you fold your arms the other way and it feels really weird. It does. But that's what's happening is that, and we talked about this the other day, that when we're trying to create a new pathway, we get sucked right back into our old habits and it's easy when life gets difficult because that pathway is so tiny and so brand new and you've got one that's been here for 30 years or 40, 50 years and you think it's gonna be easier to flow down the old path instead of the new one. So you gotta kind of keep diligent and keep building that road. Stay loving and kind to yourself. So when a baby's learning how to walk, they don't get it the first time at all. First they kind of hang on to things and they cruise and then maybe they walk and then maybe they fall and you don't ever go, oh, it's stupid baby. Never gonna learn how to walk. But we'll do that to ourselves, right? When it comes to something new for us that's healthy and what we want, if it doesn't happen immediately, we beat ourselves up. So talk to yourself like you would encouraging a baby learning how to walk. Saying, yay me, today I didn't go to fast food. Yay me, celebrate that. And so you keep, yes, celebrating creates the emotion that gets you in the vibration that gives those synapses more power to vibrate and then look at your external conditions, right? So if you come home to a house loaded with junk or stress or TV in every room, then it's very difficult to affect change because your environment also needs to reflect who you are. Your wardrobe, your haircut, everything. Just go for it, like who am I and how does this look? How do I want this to look? And then take those steps and make it happen. How important have you found having coaches and support behind someone when they're making those changes? Yeah, I know. I know you and I both feel this way. It sounds terrible, you know, because I'm a coach. So it's like, you know, of course she's gonna sit. But the only reason why. But seriously. Seriously, the only reason why I'm 100% confident in the Sanser is because you've already tried it and it hasn't worked. Absolutely. And you've maybe tried it with a coach and it hasn't worked because you gave it like 30 days. Because you, or you didn't do the work. You wanted the coach to do all the work for you. You're in the blame game instead of the responsibility. Yeah, when you get accountability and that's what a benevolent coach does for you. That's what I call myself. I love you and want you to hit those goals but I'm also not gonna let you fail. So it's finding a way to support you in a way that keeps you accountable. So a coach keeps you accountable for lots of reasons. Yeah, and that accountability is far none, like the most important thing. I mean, there's no way I could be where I'm at in my life either without the people behind me because my natural man is like wants to suck right back into the old neuro pathways of the bad habits that got me the bad results that I did. So tell us a little bit about kind of when you go in cause you speak and you've got a book that's coming out. I believe we've got a copy of it that you can look at and it's coming out like in the next week, two weeks. Yes, it'll be live on Amazon September 3rd. It's in pre-sale right now. Awesome, awesome. And tell us the name of the book. Okay, so it was a working title. And finally with my editor, we settled on get healthier, fitter and off the meds now. And then the subtitle is seven steps to better health. Actually, sorry, I just changed the title one more time. So now it's seven steps to better health in a body you love. Oh, I love it. Because that's really the goal. It's not about exercise and diet at all, at all at all. I'm not a doctor so I'm not telling them to stop taking their meds. I'm telling them that there are other options and so the book is all about honoring your path and the body that you're in right now. Oh, and that's awesome. And they can say, and I actually have a little chapter in it. You do. I know. You got me write my little story at the very beginning so thank you so much for doing that. It's so exciting and about your story. So I wanted it in the beginning originally to motivate people to keep reading but then it ended up being at the end because it's such a challenging journey and then it closes with this hopeful message. I'm like, oh, that's how the book ends and on hope. Yeah, it's possible. Don't give up hope. Please don't give up hope. And so tell them already your website that they can get ahold of you. I'm at truespeak.us. Truespeak.us. Yeah, truespeak, p-r-u-e-s-p-e-a-k.us. And I'm also info at truespeak.us. If you wanted to just drop me a line. Yay, and then make sure you go to Amazon in the next couple of weeks and get her book. I'm excited to read it. Yes, only $0.99 in presale. That's in everybody's budget. I know, right? Everybody can do that. Well, thanks so much for coming on the show today. My pleasure. This was such a pleasure to have you. I know you've kind of been traveling a lot and I appreciate you taking the time coming in today and thanks for the work that you do because I know you change a lot of people's lives. Yeah, so do you. And now we're gonna be fired up all day. We're gonna be going around high five and strangers and stuff. I know, it's awesome. It's awesome. Well, thanks so much. We're out of time, so we're gonna have to wrap this up. I'm Becky Sampson with It's About Time on Think Tech Live Streaming Network Series. We've been talking to Elle Grinnell, why we do what we do, uncovering the mind to master your results. So thank you all for being here and thanks to our broadcast engineers, as always, and floor manager, and to Jay Fadel, our executive producer who puts on this all together for us. And of course, I'll see you next Wednesday for more on It's About Time on Think Tech Hawaii. I'm Becky Sampson, mahalo everyone.