 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard COVID Airlines. As you may know, we are happy to be carriers of the virus. This flight is in partnership with Delta Airlines and, what else? Oh yeah, Omicron Airlines, Omega Airlines, and Greek Alphabet Airlines. We advise you to keep your mask throughout the entire flight. This way you can smell your own bad breath and pass out. On a more serious note though, brush your teeth. Food and beverages will not be served on this aircraft, meaning no extra income for us. So this is in fact an actual low-cost flight. Not happy about that at all. The duty-free items will be replaced by vaccines. It's not duty-free, it's simply your duty. We'll be passing by to check your temperature. Our thermometers are purposely set one degree lower in order for us to accept everyone, as we desperately need passengers in order to stay afloat. This isn't a boat though, so let me replace a float with a fly. Yes, this makes no sense. Gotcha. In case of infection, a mask will automatically fall. Please put the mask over your face. Please return the masks afterwards as the other passengers use them. Thank you. Studies show that we should open the windows once in a while to let the air flow. This will create what we call in technical terms a crash. This way we eliminate the amount of COVID cases in the world. If we hear you coughing, you'll be put in a... coffin. Ha. Ha. Ha. Once the plane has landed, we would like to ask you to please remain seated and let the cabin crew get out first. The crew's safety is obviously more important than anyone else's. Yes, we are above the law. Law. Thank you for your attention. By the way, the flight is cancelled. Enjoy. COVID airline. Distributing worldwide.