 ***If you'd like to keep up with everything I do, you can sign up for my newsletter, it's the Marlar Sheet. You can sign up at DarrenMarlar.com, D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. So when robbing a liquor store, make sure you're not under the influence of that liquor first. Our brain on drug story is right around the corner. While speaking of liquor, a sure-fire way to prevent hangovers. Did you party hardy last night? When you wake up with a headache, nausea, extreme thirst, cotton mouth, you know you've got a hangover, right? And it's terrible. You hate that feeling. Well, here is a 100% guaranteed way to prevent that from happening again. Are you ready? Don't drink too much. I know it's pretty obvious. That's a cold hard fact, though. If you drink to excess, you will have a hangover. You can count on it according to health day news and research from Utrecht University in the Netherlands. They say the more you drink, the more likely you are to get a hangover, says Joris Wester. He's a professor of pharmaceutical sciences, pharmacology, and psychopharmacology at Utrecht University in the Netherlands. So now here's a second cold fact for you. All those hangover cures, you know, from chugging lots of water to popping vitamin B pills, they don't work. They'll actually do very little to make you feel better. Hi, I'm Darren Marlar. If you want to like me, poke me, tweet me, follow me, stalk me, you can find links to all of my social media at darramarlar.com. Well, it's time for today's Brain on Drug story. It's about people doing dumb things while under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or somebody you know needs help, there is a toll-free number you can call. It's 1-800-438-0308, that's the addiction, hope, and helpline, 1-800-4308-0308, while when robbing a liquor store, make sure you're not under the influence of it first. It's brilliant once again that there is no intelligence test to become a criminal. A Los Angeles gunman demanded cash and a bottle of gin from a clerk at a liquor store, but the clerk refused to give the man liquor until he proved his age, so the robber handed over his driver's license. Yep, the clerk memorized the man's name and address, and the thief was arrested. Hi, I'm Darren Marlar, and if you missed any part of the show today, you can catch up at darramarlar.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. So how do you keep people from using their phones while driving? I love this, they finally came up with a solution. Drivers have discovered how to stop drivers using their phones when they're behind the wheel without affecting the use of the passenger's phones. A team at Stevens Institute of Technology and Rutgers in New Jersey have created a system which shuts down a driver's phone without affecting other people in the vehicle. It utilizes the phone's Bluetooth connection and a vehicle's speakers to detect if the driver is using their mobile phone while driving. This sounds like a great idea, up to a point. What if the person in the back seat needs to make a phone call to the driver? And then what? What kind of idiot are you? I don't know, what kinds are there? If you'd like to listen to past shows or follow me on Facebook or Twitter, maybe listen to audiobooks that I've narrated and everything else that I do, I have a free mobile app that you can download. It's available in your phone app store right now. Just do a search for Marlar House. Marlar is M-A-R-L-A-R. Search for Marlar House is absolutely free right now in your phone app store. So why does your bath towel stink? Well, it's not the towel, it's you. Skin flakes and body soil get left behind with every use, says Mary Gagliardi, also known as the Dr. Laundrie for Clorox. She advises washing a bath towel every seven uses. In between, spread it widely on a rack to avoid having it developed owners, she says, if you've got a persistent funk, that could be grimy build-up in your washer, so run some regular bleach clean-out cycles to keep your clothes washer stank-free. I'm Darren Marlar, if you like a written transcript of today's show, please call the number at the bottom of your radio. And now, another Useless Fat. Laughter really is contagious, merely hearing someone else laugh activates the region in your brain involved in vocalizing, promoting actual chuckles. Huh. Maybe I should start doing this show with a laugh track. Well, ladies, if you just can't get enough coffee, there's a lipstick just for you. I'll tell you about that right around the corner. First though, doctors recommend eight solid hours of sleep each night. But workers, they're not clocking it in. This lack of sleep is leaving employees less productive. People motivated and more agitated with co-workers. So who is to blame? Well, believe it or not, the answer is work. Your job is to blame. A survey on sleep and the U.S. workplace from CareerBuilder reports that 58% of 32,000 workers surveyed said they weren't getting enough sleep, 61% said that sleep deprivation did affect their work, and for some it is a vicious cycle too. 34% of workers said that just thinking about work kept them up at night. Wow! I guess you could quit your job, but then you'd just be up all night wondering about how you're going to pay your bills. This is the Darren Marlar radio show, Audio Rewind. If you like scary stories, you might like my show Weird Darkness. It's online only, it's actually a YouTube show, you can find it at WeirdDarkness.com. Got our birthday wrap up coming up next, but first, ladies, if you just can't get enough coffee, there is a lipstick just for you. The cosmetic company Hard Candy. They have a coffee-flavored lipstick. Company founder Dina Mohair said the idea was women are drinking coffee in the morning and then putting on makeup. Well we thought we might as well combine them. Each stick has 18mg of caffeine, and wearers are supposed to get a hit each time they lick their lips. They currently have three different shades of beige. They have Caffeolip, Latte Lip, and Lipicino. You gotta give them credit for being creative on the names, don't you? They also have a red caffeinated color coming soon called Red Eye. Actually, I thought about this, this is a pretty good thing for the guys too, right? You kiss your wife goodbye, and at the same time, you save money that you could have spent on Starbucks. Hey, more coffee? Jobba boy? Yes. It's coffee time. Coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee. Caffeolip. Jobba. Yes. I've heard all emergency energy to my coffee machine. Whoa! I've got to lay off the coffee. Hotcha cha cha cha cha. No brains. Come and have a cup of coffee. Coffee can only make me nervous when I'm drinking. This is espresso, you know? It's like coffee's zilla. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Two cups of good, hot, black coffee. I love coffee. I love tea. I love the job. I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition. I brought you orange juice, coffee, and air springs. Or do you need to throw up? Oh, you look like a man who could use more coffee. This episode is brought to you by Theodore the Great, conservative crusader by Daniel Ruddy, narrated by Darren Marlar. Theodore Roosevelt has a complicated legacy. To some, he was the quintessential American patriot and hero, a valiant soldier and hawkish leader. Others remember him as the progressive cultural icon, the trust buster who split from the Republican Party. So who was the real Teddy Roosevelt? Daniel Ruddy's new biography cuts through the impenetrable tangle of misconceptions and contradictions that have grown up over the last century and obscured our view of a man who remains one of the most controversial and misunderstood presidents in U.S. history. Weighing Roosevelt's lifetime of actions against his sometimes contradictory progressive rhetoric, Ruddy paints a portrait of a man who led by undeniably conservative principles, but who obfuscated his own legacy with populist speeches by focusing on Roosevelt's actions and his effect on American history, Ruddy clears the cobwebs and presents a real and convincing case for remembering Theodore Roosevelt as a great conservative leader. Theodore Roosevelt, conservative crusader by Daniel Ruddy, narrated by Darren Marlar. Here are free sample or purchase the title on the audiobooks page at marlarhouse.com. There's a lot of really cool stuff that bounce dryer sheets can be used for. Other than freshening up the smell of your laundry, if you'd like to see a list of what people have suggested you can use bounce dryer sheets for, it is a long list. Well, I've placed it in my blog for you, you can find that at DarrenMarlar.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R.com. That's me, by the way. I'm Darren Marlar. Welcome to the show. We all know that drinking and driving is dangerous, right? Well, almost as dangerous as thinking and driving. I'll have details on that coming up. When it comes to moms and daughters, the apple apparently does not fall far from the tree. A recent study by Hallmark Cards reveals that at about age 32 women find that they're turning into their moms, copying habits like worrying, stocking up on groceries, watching soap operas. And that's also when they begin to use the momisms, like what your mom used to say like, because I said so, or I'll give you something to cry about, well, according to behavioral expert Judy James, it's perfectly natural as you age to begin to act like the most important person in your life. And I know the story was about the girls, but I could see this in my life too. Every day I notice mannerisms in myself that remind me of my dad, the older I get, the more I am becoming him. On the windowsill, he stole mom's pie, threw it at her car, mom yells, would you do, I said. You just play the X-Price cause you're lazy, don't do no chores, no thought of recourse. Mom asks, why does he do silly stuff like that? I just looked at her and laughed and said, my son's just like me. My son's about living and giving a good nookie to his momma and riding the dog, yeah, my son's just like me, my son's like me. A man is literally stuck in a life of crime in today's moment of duh coming up. Hi, I'm Darren Marlar and you can hear the show anytime at DarrenMarlar.com. According to a new survey done by the American Psychological Association, researchers have found that it is almost as dangerous to think and drive as it is to drink and drive. They say even a simple task, just like visualizing each letter of the alphabet one by one while driving, that can cause drivers to fix their eyes on certain points for longer periods instead of glancing in their mirrors or at the dashboard like they would normally do while driving. Such dangers are likely as well if the driver just thinks about the concerns of his or her day. So let's say you get pulled over by the police officer for speeding then. What do you tell him? Do you say, gosh, sorry, officer, I just wasn't thinking? Or do you tell the officer, gosh, sorry, officer, I was just thinking. Tonight, the world's most boring police chases come to life. Man, I see your driver's license, ma'am. Was I doing anything wrong, sir? You didn't come to a full stop at the intersection, ma'am. Be more careful next time, okay? Sure. You have a nice day now. You too. It's all the dull day-to-day monotony that gets cut out of all the other syndicated cop shows. The reason I pulled you over, sir, is because your right rear brake light seems to be out. Well, thank you, officer. I'll make sure I get that fixed. Okay. You have a good day now. Well, thank you. You want to get a few more laughs every day, I post a new episode of The Daily Dose of Weird News, and you can find that at DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com. I'm Darren Marlar, the 60-year-old leader of a polygamous community in Canada has been found guilty of having 25 wives. Man, I would say time's already been served for this guy. He has been punished enough. That sounds like a moment of duh right there, but today's moment of duh story literally a man stuck in a life of crime in Israeli thief found himself literally stuck in a life of crime. During an attempt to steal a car radio, things went embarrassingly wrong for this individual. The thief was leaning through a car window in order to remove the car's stereo, but while doing so, he accidentally pressed a button and closed the vehicle's electronic windows, thus trapping himself. The car's owner, who was alerted by the crooks' cries for help, he had to rescue the thief, but of course not before waiting for the police to arrive. Money can buy happiness, but there's a catch. I'll explain that coming up here in just a few minutes. I'm Darren Marlar, if you'd like to be a part of the show, you can visit the radio show page at darranmarlar.com and you can send me an email for the email bag. The website is darranmarlar.com, that's D-A-R-R-E-N-M-A-R-L-A-R dot com. Well, according to a survey, 33% of Americans have dated somebody who turned out to be a creep, while 35% have dated someone they ended up calling a jerk, and 18% they've even dated somebody who turned out to be a witch, we will say. Overall, according to the survey, 21% describe being involved in a dating experience that turned out to be just plain toxic. Although those numbers did calm down for a few short years while Charlie Sheen was married. Here comes the best part, the Darren Marlar radio show, a little bit more on the crazy side of the end of the world. In Charleston, West Virginia police, they knew there was a problem with drinking and driving during happy hour. Our brain on drug story is on the way. Welcome to the Darren Marlar radio show, if you'd like to keep up with everything I do, you can sign up for my newsletter, it's absolutely free, it's called the Marlar Sheet, you can sign up for it at darranmarlar.com. Apparently, money can buy happiness, but there's a catch to that. You gotta keep appreciating things that your money buys you, says Texas Tech University researchers. Just having a nice car or a beautiful handbag, it's not gonna make you happy in the long run unless you continue to value it after you've had it for a while. So how to maintain fresh gratitude for your not-so-fresh belongings? Well, at least once a week, take a moment to reflect on why you fell in love with that possession in the first place. And I was thinking about this, this actually is probably a pretty good idea the next time you're mad at your spouse, too. What did you, what about them made you fall in love with them in the first place? The Darren Marlar Radio Show! I'm starting to notice something about you. You're still here! Need a daily dose of weird news? Get it every day at darranmarlar.com. It's the Darren Marlar Radio Show, that's me, I'm Darren Marlar. A man in China who claimed he was abducted for two months, you know, kidnapped, he was eventually released by his captors because he ate too much. You know, maybe that's why I have never been kidnapped, I mean, one look at me and the criminals would have to know they just can't afford the food budget. What do you down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats. What are you at getting terribly fat? What do you think will come of that? I don't like the look of it. Welcome to the show. It's time for our brain-on-drug story. And when I do this, it's about people doing dumb things under the influence. But addiction, it's no laughing matter. If you or somebody you know does have an addiction, if you need help, there is a toll-free number that you can call. It's 1-800-438-0380. You might want to write that down. If you know somebody who is having a problem with drugs, alcohol, it's 1-800-438-0380. That's the addiction, hope, and helpline. 1-800-438-0380. Charleston, West Virginia police, they knew there was a problem with drinking and driving during happy hour, but they never imagined their daytime sobriety checkpoint would net four drunken driving arrests before 8.30. Police conducted the happy hour sobriety checkpoint near a moose lodge beginning at 4 p.m. And the department issued 32 traffic citations and arrested a fifth person for driving on a revoked license for a previous DUI. Two people arrested for drunk driving attempted illegal U-turns before arriving at the checkpoints, but they were quickly stopped by police too. The first drunken driving arrest was made just 20 minutes into the checkpoint at 4.20 p.m. So as a police spokesperson, this confirms our initial belief that, yeah, there is a problem. I'm Darren Marlar. Welcome to the Darren Marlar Radio Show. If you missed any part of the show, you can catch up at DarrenMarlar.com. All right, the art of old-fashioned letter writing. I mean, that's almost non-existent these days, isn't it? Who writes letters anymore? Well, a 28-year-old poet, Jody Ann Bickley, she plans to write one million letters. The letters are going to go to people who need a bit of advice or help with something in their life. Well, she would know she's overcome her own suicidal tendencies. When she was 23, she was bitten by a tick and developed encephalitis, which is rare. That only happens about one in every 200,000 people who are bitten by a tick. Well, that led to a stroke, resulting in her being paralyzed on one side of her body. However, she told herself to write again, and her project, One Million Lovely Letters. It is the continuation of this. She's been writing letters and notes to strangers since she was just 11 years old. In fact, you can email her if you want to, and ask her to write a letter to you. And I've got her email address in my blog, if you want to check it out, at darwinmarlar.com. But you better be patient, because she probably has quite a lot of letters to get through. On her website, Jody says of the project, to every other person on the planet, I'm going to write you a letter, a letter just to make the day a bit better or to remind you of the bloody amazing stuff about you that you've forgotten, because we all forget once in a while. My question for her though is, where is she going to get the $500,000 or so that she's going to need for stamps? Good night, ladies. Good night, sir. Hit it, sweetheart.