 Your lawyer went through a divorce and guess what happened? You still called him to candle your court case. Your pastor goes through a divorce and all of a sudden he's not qualified to preach. This was being held at a higher esteem in life. Life can't happen to me. Can a man be a pastor even after he's been divorced? More and more today we are seeing people who are in the pulpit who have been divorced. And there can be a myriad of different reasons why the question is, are any of those reasons are they valid? Do any of those reasons still qualify him? In other words, he was divorced through no fault of his own. His wife cheated or his wife left him, but he still remains a pastor or they would have what they call irreconcilable differences which is not biblical, but for those reasons they split or if he cheated and then that caused the divorce or if his divorce happened prior to him becoming a pastor or becoming a Christian. Do any of these things make it okay? Is there a way around that? Well, those are things we need to touch on. Why? Because more and more we are seeing people who are in the pulpit who again have been divorced. As a matter of fact, those who have been divorced a few times, once, twice, three times. They're in their second marriage, third marriage, fourth marriage and they're in the pastorate. They are in the pulpit. Does that same thing about them or are they forgiven? Well, we need to go look at the scriptures to give us guidance, but I want you to listen to this person's testimony. This is a pastor who I'll put aside the fact that this person has stated some things that are thoroughly troubling. As a matter of fact, his teaching on the sins of scriptures, these alone disqualify him. Know that I heard that and God told me this, Pastor Jamal, I don't know what's going on in the church. He said the prayers of dead new birth members are still lingering in this building. So that part in of itself, this particular person is disqualified because of that, but I want you to hear what he says also in regards to his marriage or his previous marriage. 2011, I went through a divorce, you all know that. Publicly divorced in this church. When I got divorced, people in the city turned on me that I didn't even know care. Preachers and ministers and churches that used to invite me to preach still will not invite me to preach. There were words that had gotten out about me that were devastating to my soul. The sad part is that he's shocked by it. Again, there's a high calling, a high bar for a pastor. Now, this is not saying that a person could or could not be divorced. I'm not getting to that point yet, but the fact that he's bothered by that, that is a red flag for me because anybody that has been in a sin, and then we're now in the recovery stage, the restoration stage, whatever you want to call it, if in that beginning stage they are bothered or they can't understand why people are bothered by their sin, that tells me they're more concerned with how they look to them than how it is for them before God. They're more concerned with getting over, getting past this PR nightmare than actually getting past this sin. I felt pain in a way I had never felt before. I didn't cheat on my ex. I didn't beat on my ex. We had irreconcilable differences that could not be resolved because the fact of the matter is we were not on the same page. And that's not a reason to get a divorce. Reconcilable differences, that's what the country would say. Those are man-made standards, but that's not a biblical standard. It's not. And so therein lies another problem. And so it doesn't matter if you cheated or not. Again, we're talking about the divorce and the real reason is how do people, how would people look at you? Because what you cannot control is, you can control the fact that you committed the sin, that you did something, but you cannot control, nor do you have the right to control, how people view you after that, or the consequences that come as a result of that. I'll speak more about that in just a little bit because this part is important. I got married and didn't understand what marriage was. Well, do you know how many people got married and didn't know what marriage was? A lot of folks got married young and are still married. There are people that have been married for 30 years, 40 years, 50 years, 60 years, and are still married, meaning they got married young. I got married young. Now I had my problems, but you know what I can say about that? We're still together, which tells us a little thing or two about how the both of us, even though there's some things that happen in marriage, mainly my fault, but how we both view marriage and our desire for it. And so being married young or not understanding it, that doesn't matter. Which is what the greater majority of you don't know because we come to church and we shout and we jump, but we don't deal with the realities of how to live life. I went through a divorce and when I went through that divorce, it was devastating, wait for it. And because my heart is for the people of God, I kept preaching and teaching at such a high level, the church kept growing. And then a new group of people started to gravitate to my ministry and call me throughout the world to minister the gospel. That's one of my biggest issues because you don't allow for, let's just say something happens and I don't care whether it's divorce, whether it's whatever, if it's a sin, whatever it is, your desire as you said is so great, really what it is is making excuses. Your desire is so great for the Lord that I had to continue in ministry. Why? Because of the people. I love the Lord, I love the people. Well, no, if you love the Lord, then what you will do is take some time to deal with whatever the character flaw is in you. Now, before we go back to him, let's go look at the scriptures and just look at the qualifications. There's a couple of things that I think we have to understand that have been violated. One, he says it's a trustworthy statement in 1 Timothy 3-1 for any person who aspires to the office. Now, I say person because that's the word teased, but clearly it has to be a man. We're gonna find this out in a second. It's a fine word if he desires to do so. An overseer then must be above reproach. That's an issue right there. He must be above reproach. The husband, and it's this word right here, is Andra, which is a male. So that means it has to be a male of one Gnaechus or one wife, one woman. Temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach. And I wanna drop down and show something, a couple things that are also germane to this when it regards divorce. He says he must manage, he must be one who manages his own household well. Now, this also encompasses keeping his children. Doesn't mean that the managing deals with the kids only. Managing his own household, also he has to be keeping his children under control with all dignity. But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? And not a new convert. And then we drop down verse 70 says, and he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and a snare of the devil. The part of the problem that he states that I have an issue with. And I'm thoroughly familiar with this because in my own sense, even in ministry, you know what had to happen? There had to be a disconnect from ministry to where now I'm being ministered to. Whatever the issue is, if your desire is to rapidly get back into ministry or not to lose hold of it, then the focus is on you. The focus is more about you than it is about the body and about the name of God. But I wanna go back to look at some of these, these qualifications because there's something that I think we don't quite get one must be above reproach. That means that this person needs to be in a position to where he is not being blamed for anything. In other words, it doesn't matter if he's been blamed for something in the past. These are current qualifications. Now what do I mean by current qualifications? Meaning that it's current and ongoing. You have to, as long as whenever you're a pastor, these are the qualifications that you must meet at that time. Is it possible that you didn't meet the qualifications in the past, but now you meet him now? Well, then are you qualified? Well, there in lies the situation. Is it possible that a person who was divorced in the past, but is now a pastor? Now, is it possible? Is it possible that let's say he was the husband? And by the way, this passage here where it says the husband of one wife, this shouldn't be taken as that he's had one wife only. Now, some do take it that way. Some do take it that way, but when we look at the passage as a husband of one wife, it's really just saying that this person, because in that time you had men who had multiple wives or women and concubines and so forth. And so we're not supposed to have that. It's supposed to be the husband of one wife when at that time, some folks are gonna hold the standard as being only having one wife ever. I don't think that that's what the pastors, as a matter of fact, I know that's not what they're saying. And so I wouldn't want to add anything to the qualifications. The qualifications are clear, not about the person's past, nor about the person's futures, about what they are right now. And so is this person with one wife? Now, the argument is gonna be raised though, but now the person saying committed adultery and now the marriage to the new person is an act of adultery. I'll leave that alone for the moment. But currently, the current standing of that man must be these things. If ever he gets to a point where he's not qualified or he's not checking the box off any of these, then he's not qualified. And what now? Does it mean that he's forever qualified? Does the Bible teach that once disqualified, you're always disqualified? Well, no, it doesn't say that. It doesn't say that at all. And so you cannot say that. And I know some folks who want to have me say so because there are a lot of guys out there who you just wouldn't want to see them as a pastor and you want to find a way to disqualify them. So there is no such thing as once disqualified, therefore ever disqualified because someone said, well, what about the things he did before he was a believer? Well, if it's once disqualified, always disqualified, that would have to necessarily even apply to the person that's not a believer even at the time. Why? Because that goes to how people are gonna look at you. Why do I say that? This issue of above reproach, it is how people are blaming you right now. What is going on? Are you blameless of anything right now? If you are blameful of something right now, in other words, that you are involved in a sin right now, you are living a certain way right now, then you are disqualified. And that's part of the problem that I have with this man that when he has his divorce, even as a pastor, he's one, he's not qualified because of the divorce part. Two, you are not meeting the qualifications right now and there needs to be a time where you are being dealt with it. You are being grown. Why? Because look what it says also. It says that this person must be able to manage his own household. Managing your household necessarily means the woman of the house. And if there is some friction, if there's something, well then if that part is not taken care of, the very first ministry that you do have, if you can't manage that, well then how then can you manage the household of God? It's not just dealing with children or the orderly running of your house. It's also with her. The first thing that you have, you had one job or your main job. I shouldn't say one job but your main job and you failed at that. So if you constantly are doing so and this is where it can become a red flag if a person has had multiple marriages, because what does it say? That this person has had a history of not managing their household. Is there forgiveness in that? Or does that mean that the person is always as qualified? Again, once it's qualified does not mean that you're always as qualified. So now I wouldn't hold that standard but now here's where it becomes a bit sticky. If we drop down to verse seven and he must have a good reputation with those outside the church so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil, it's important that the outsiders also view you in a certain way. Now, there are gonna be people who are gonna look at you for a lot of different reasons. I said, you know what? You're not qualified to be my pastor. Even though you might meet the qualifications but not for me. There are gonna be some folks that are gonna judge for themselves. I would not want to sit underneath you. I would not want to have you as a pastor. That goes to the territory. You have to accept that. It may be that you have been repentant, that you've grown. It's been several years. It's been five years. It's been 10 years, 15, 20 years, 30 years since whatever happened and you're not that person. There still might be someone or some people or if the majority of people, if your overall view by the people is a negative view. In other words, if when they see you, they see the sin and not who you are, there's nothing you can do about that. That's a byproduct of your sin or the consequences of it and you just don't have the right or the ability to change what people think and that's something you have to deal with. So if the majority of people, for example, let's just say a person like, we talk about a Karl Lentz. When we think Karl Lentz, do we think godly or do we think this person's in broad and sin? Then that deals with this point right here. Doesn't have a good reputation amongst the outsiders but even amongst the insiders, he is still blameful. He's still, and had it of course with him, it has not even been that long. Maybe what a year or two, I think is what it's been and so he might think that, hey, I'm ready to get back into it. Yeah, but listen, we understand, we know that it takes a while to grow whatever the character flaw was, it takes a while to grow. I can certainly identify with that. Here I am. About 20 years ago, my issues came to a head and so it takes a while to grow. A year, two, three, four, five years after everything was I in shape to be put back in ministry. I may have thought so, but probably not because first of all, even if I were in a position inwardly, outwardly, the stain has to be taken away with and that's something that God has to do. You've got to give God the ability, should he desire, to work in people's hearts and in their minds to give them a better image of you because if God wants to use you, he's gonna prepare a way for you for him to do so. During this timeframe, I am literally losing my mind. Nobody knows it because I've been given a measure of strength and tolerance, way forward, that is abnormal. Based on the fact that I have strong parents, I've been taught strong faith, so I'm functioning while I'm truly a dysfunctional person. And so there's the oxymoronic statement that he's made, that you are this but you're that. First of all, you have an inflated view, or at least he does, and a lot of times people who are in the impastoring, they have an inflated view of themselves where they feel like that they are capable of handling this, this, this. No, you're not, you're just a man. And the mere fact that people are impugning you and you're getting bothered by it shows that you're not where you think you are, but you're not. You don't have an immeasurable amount or a supreme amount or a gifted amount of whatever you think it is for you to do this. There is a qualification that he, at the time of his divorce, is not qualified. Again, this is an ongoing thing. And so at the moment that you are disqualified, there naturally needs to be a stage of repentance, which a lot of people who go through these, some of these pastors, let's be honest, just aren't repentant about what is that they've done, what they've gone through. There's no shame, there's no brokenness, there's no contrite heart because of what they've gone through even David himself said purge me with his wash me. I don't know what purging feels like. Actually I do, I do know what purging feels like. I'm sorry. I actually do know intimately what purging feels like. It's not a good thing. David says purge me, wash me and I shall be wider than snow. And so he says, break these bones in me and cause these broken bones. As he's saying, he's asking God to turn himself to him. Don't take your spirit away from me. I want Lord, you can see the brokenness in David in what he's done, one in what he did to Uriah and then the affair that he had as well. And so you see that with David, this brokenness. You don't see that with this young man. You don't see him seeming to be contrite over what he's doing. What you really see is him making excuses. If anybody in any one of these categories are making excuses and defending themselves, a red flag has to go off to say, you know what? I might want to push back because it seems as though you might be not, I might be wrong, but you might be trying to push your agenda or make it seem or just try to just defend yourself. And that's just not a good thing. If others by and large want to defend you and say that you are qualified or that will then let them do so. But don't you be at the forefront of defending yourself. Let the others promote you. Let you walk into the room, sit in the low seat and then let someone else or others esteem you and pull you to the front. So I'm stressed out, but I'm still preaching. I'm telling people, now they know I just got divorced, but they need me to come to the hospital. They need me to lay hands and need me to do this. They need me to do that and that's fine. That's my responsibility. So there's a problem. You've got this lingering issue, this heavy issue in you and you're supposed to go and deal with other people. No, that's not the way it is. And listen to what he compares this to. Church is conditioned by religious people to judge you. We're supposed to be the place of mending and healing, but somewhere down the line, they started becoming the place of condemnation and judgment. So when pastors go through, they feel like they gotta hide everything because if they don't, y'all gonna fire them. Your medical doctor went through a divorce and guess what he still did? Performed surgery on you. Your lawyer went through a divorce and guess what happened? You still called him to candle your court case. Your pastor goes through a divorce and all of a sudden he's not qualified to preach. This was being held at a higher esteem in life. Life can't happen to me. And so there is a huge difference between the doctor and the lawyer. They're not called or commissioned by God. There are no moral standards for, well, I take the fact they actually are. And so when they violate their moral standards that the lawyers have or the doctors have, then they'll be put down. Our moral standards are different and are actually higher if you're going to be in pastoral leaning. And so you cannot choose it to. As a matter of fact, you shouldn't even want to compare the two. Again, God sets the standards. You can't complain that man has a problem with you. If it takes you 40 years for you to get back into ministry, amen. If it takes you till never. If it takes you five years, 10 years, that will be God's work. And God will prepare the place for you now. Don't you force it? And just because you get a following from people who are amused or entertained by the fact that you may be charismatic and so forth. That is many things. Again, it's these qualifications. These are current qualifications. Again, if you are currently this and if you currently have a good reputation, how long will it take for you to have a good reputation amongst the outsider? How long will it take for you to not be blameful and for you to be blameless? Don't know. How long will it take for you to be a manager of your household? Don't know. How long will it take for folks to see you as that way? Don't know. How long will it take for God to prepare and put you back or restore you? If ever. Don't know. But again, we need to make sure that if a person has been divorced for whatever sin, there's forgiveness without question. We need to make sure that the person has won at least been broken hearted about it, has been contrite. Now this man doesn't sound contrite about it at all. Doesn't sound repentant at all. That's the first thing because that's an indication that he didn't care about the things of God. He cares more about himself. And so my take on can a person have been divorced and then still be in pastoring later? After some time, the possible is there. Now some might disagree and I get that. I won't necessarily fight you on it, except to say that we've got to go with the qualifications. The qualifications, there are no passages to say that a person's sin permanently disqualifies him from leadership. What's going to happen is God is on to them. So let's just go with the scriptures. If we're going to be, as they say, so scriptura, if we're going to be scriptures only, be led by the scriptures, we all we have are what the present qualifications are for the present pastor, not his past or his future. I know it's hard. And if you come across someone who you're just not comfortable with being your pastor, if they don't meet the qualifications to your satisfaction, well, then that's fine. You find the place where you think is comfortable for you to be at and then be there. Amen.