 I've heard of all my mannered... Oh, Miss Dinner, you mustn't turn that off. It's getting on my nerves. Sorry, but it's Mrs. Manville's orders. Mrs. Manville, who's she? She's Mr. Smith's mother-in-law. She wasn't home for dinner tonight. I didn't even know he was married just a few moments ago. He's inclined to forget it himself at times. He's, uh, very susceptible. I'll find him a great susceptible? Maybe my it isn't working today. The day isn't over yet. What do you mean? At night draws on. At eight o'clock to be precise, he changes. Changes how? Well, during the day, Mr. Smith is a lawyer, a business man, but at eight o'clock, the little birds start singing in his soul and he begins to bloom. Bloom? Any pretty woman can twist him around a finger. Any pretty woman? Well, the prettier she is, the more twisted he gets. It's what they call pre-natal influence. Oh, that's the new alibi for an old complaint. You notice the lady of the song is called Madeline. That's Mrs. Smith's name also. And, uh, mother-in-law's idea is to keep her blind on. Is that the wife, eh? Exactly. Andrews? Yes, sir? His mind is very active tonight. Out of the two, four, five, six. Yes, please. Say, listen, Diane, your husband didn't forget himself and stay home tonight, did he? No, he's out again. Well, listen, this is very important. You put on your prettiest dress and come over here. I've found the very lawyer to get your divorce for you. And, uh, from all I hear, it won't cost you any more than a smile or two. That sounds great, Mitty. Who is he? I say, who is he and where can I find him? He's the lawyer I started working for today. Mr. Richard Smith. You know the address. And, uh, Diane, get here by 8 o'clock. Yes, 8 o'clock. Will you come? Sure, I'll be there. Mr. Smith wants you to bring an old book and pencil. More dictations. Remarkable how active his mind is tonight. It's nearly 8 o'clock. You would better hurry. Hurry, nothing. I want to see how a man acts when he gets blue. Good evening, Andrews. I hope you haven't kept dinner waiting for me. No, ma'am. Mr. Smith finished yet? He's having a dessert in his room. Dessert in his room, eh? Well, it's like heaven I got home before 8 o'clock. Yes, ma'am. Just a minute, Andrews, I'll take care of it. New phonograph records. But we must not let him grow tired of the other one. No, ma'am. A man can't be reminded too much of anything, even a wife. Dessert in his room, eh? Pardon me, were you looking for someone? Well, a certain adult for you. I had no idea that Mr. Smith was entertaining new lady friends. Well, I'd hardly say I'd gotten that far. I'm only here on trial. Trial? Yes. He promised that if I made good today, he'd keep me. He too? Oh, I see. And you're the new secretary. Well, of course, what did you think? Well, if you knew my son-in-law as I know him, you wouldn't blame me for having misjudged you. You don't mean he's a passion flower? Well, he's no geranium. And if you're all right, you won't stay here another minute. I don't mind. I get paid double for it. Nothing could pay you for what might happen. You're not at all the sort of young woman that should be around here after eight o'clock. You'd be surprised. Andrews? Where in the name of St. Paul? Andrews? Yes, yes, sir? Yes, sir? If I'm wrong, my fighting cabinet's all broken. All my important papers are all over the floor. Pick them up at once. Yes, sir? Yes, sir? Miss Mitter, you have those papers ready for my signature? Not yet, Mrs. Smith. You see your mother-in-law. Oh, hang my mother-in-law. Yes, sir. Huh? Oh, hello, mother. Oh, mother pardon my English. I thought you were in Newark. I'm sorry to disappoint you. But Richard, if you're not too busy, I would like just the word with you. One word? Well, that's unusual, mother. What is it? I want to see you alone. Well, that's impossible at the present moment, mother, impossible. Richard, I have something very important to tell you. Miss Mitter, Miss Mitter, please. What did you do with those papers in the Randall murder case? Richard, I have a surprise for you. Oh, you're going home. Oh, I'm sorry. Mother, please. Can't you see that I'm busy with Miss Mitter? Miss Mitter, busy, please. Busy, busy, busy. Busy. Busy. Oh, you're suspicious hurt me. Now, what possible rejection can you have to Miss Mitter? Well, I don't like her wiggle. Her what? Her wiggle. Her walk. Oh, I hadn't noticed it. Miss Mitter, wiggle. That is walk, please. That will do. Never do that again during business hours. Never. Now, come, mother, come. Run along. Run along like a good little girl, and I promise you the only thing that she'll wiggle is her corona. But, Richard, now we must have our talk. You'll send for me when she leaves. I will, mother. I will if you promise not to come until I send for you. All right, Richard dear. Remember, I trust you. Now, Miss Mitter, where were we? I, um, oh, yes, yes, yes. Oh, yes. Remarkable speech of Richard Smith in the Randall murder case. The eminent lawyer. Oh, my word. Well, that's a picture of me. Well, you couldn't tell me from the murderer. You know, I could sue a firm like this, sue them for libel. Come, come, come, come, come. To work, dictation. Take a letter. You ready? Sure. I, dignity, please, Miss Mitter, during office hours. I'll try it again. Are you ready? Yes, Mr. Smith. That's better. Mr. George Spelvin, Elizabeth Town, New York, dear sir. Is that that? Just a minute. Miss Mitter, what is the matter? Mr. Smith. Mr. George Spelvin was the name. Elizabeth Town, New York, dear sir. I am in receipt of your proposition, offering the $1,000 to assist you in the defense of your client, accused of, uh, of, uh, DMD, what was that accusation, and murder. Don't tell me. Your suggestion that two weeks in the country would be almost a vacation is no attraction. Period. We'll make the fee $2,000 and cut the vacation. Gleaming lakes and rose gardens do not appeal to me, as I am a businessman, strictly business. Strictly business. That's a pretty thought, pretty flower. That letter can wait, Miss Mitter. Take a note. Miss Lucille Darling, the Vanderbilt Hotel, New York City. Have you got that? Just a minute. Take your time, Miss Mitter, take your time. My dear Miss Darling, I called at your apartment last Tuesday night four times between the hours of 8 and 12. When you make an appointment with me, you should not fool me. Would you please return my blue silk pajamas? Miss Smith. Which I loaned you for the art student's ball. Very disrespectfully, Richard. But you know my name, Miss Mitter. I don't have to tell you. We'll call it a day, shall we? It's been a very hard day, too. I wonder, do you feel like a cordial? Very cordial. Oh, oh, oh, you little wise cracker. You may wiggle for me if you like. Yeah, that'll do. Mother was right. A very dangerous woman. Doubly dangerous. Andrews. Oh, Andrews. Andrews, bring a cordial. Would you please? Sorry, sir. But there's not a drink in the house. This is Mantle's order, sir. Oh, how stupid. But you weren't thirsty anyway, were you? No. But you didn't say anything about nothing being on the hip. Good old Andrews. Your Andrews is a perfect container. I mean, retainer. Bring some glasses, would you, Andrews? Well, you said you'd give me a day's trial. How do you like my work? A little rough, but sincere. You consider yourself engaged. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. You're quite sure that this is fit for a lady? That'll fit anybody, sir. Say no more. Will you want me any more this evening, sir? Not this evening. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Da-di-da-da-da-di-da-da. Loose moments. You know, Miss Middok, all great men must have their moments of relaxation. And the greater the man, the greater the moment. Are you suggesting anything? Anything. You like dancing? I love dancing. Is that so? Loose moments. What have you got on tonight? You know, you and I and Jesse James were just made for each other. Oh, really? Yes. I wonder. Will you meet me tonight at 10? 10? Where? The lounge in the Hotel Aster. We'll have a little supple. We'll have a little dance, and... Oh, you have a pretty mouth. Oh, I like your mustache. Really? Well, shall we introduce them? Oh, mother. I see you have on your rubber heels again. Miss Minter just met with a serious accident. Yes, steady, Miss Minter. These things are very painful, but they must be endured. There. You feeling better? Yes. So am I. Miss Minter's just leaving. Yes, thank you. Will you meet me tomorrow, Mr. Smith? At 10. 10 at the Aster. What's that, Ritchie? Huh? Oh, I said 10 o'clock. You said Aster. Did I? Yes, I asked her to come at 10. Well, I wish you a good night. Oh, a very, very, very good night. Ritchie, I want to talk to you about something of great importance. Oh, this is an upgrade. The idea of leaving important that is like this laying around on my desk. Andrew! Oh, I told you, you know I told you. Of course, and now look, now it's happening. Where are you going? I'm going downtown on business. Andrew's my hat, my stick, yes. You are not going out of his house tonight. I have to, Mother, you don't understand. This is a matter of life or death. Andrew, if anybody telephones to me, you tell them that I've gone. He won't. You haven't gone. You stoop to do a thing like that. I do anything to keep you from going out. You don't seem to understand. This is for Mrs. Roach, Mrs. Cochran Roach. I don't care what kind of a Roach she is. But I'm handling all her private affairs. You can do it in the daytime, not at night. Her husband is threatened to shoot her. And if he does that, I'll probably lose my feet. If you go, you'll probably lose your life. Let me see that note. That never. This is private. You mean it's an alibi. Andrew, take this to Smith's hat and stick. Now, Richard Smith, sit down. And you listen to me. You know I'm fond of you. Well, anybody can see that, Mother. And you promise, Madam, as long as she was away, that you'd conduct your business here and never go out at night. A lawyer's night, Mother. You're the first one to regret it if you broke your promise to her. And a doctor's life. And you did it because you know how weak you are. After eight o'clock. The public demands the recital. You wanted her to have a happy, contented holiday. I certainly did. Well, that's the reason you are not going out tonight. Oh, I'm not going out. Not as long as I'm here to prevent it. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Well, in that case, Mother, you win with a couple of pounds to spare. Richard, I dare say you would think I'm a very foolish old woman. Oh, no, Mother. No, no, no. Not old. A little foolish, perhaps, but certainly not old. Thank you. I bought you a little present today. You bought something? For me? Well, the idea. So what was it? Yes. Well, is it animal, vegetable, or mineral? Just a little reminder. It'll make a wonderful companion piece to old Madeline. Baby feet. Baby's footsteps on the stairs. Baby's footsteps on the stairs. I hear them. That is a different feet. Oh, ma. Richard, you are now independently successful, and there's no further need to become me. And now, Mother, you care what happens to Mrs. Copper and Roach. Andrews, see that, Mother, my voice is gone again. I've been talking all together too much. Oh, I'm so sorry. Is there something I can do? No, no, just let me stay in here quietly and alone and rest all by myself, Andrews, my dressing up. Yes, sir. Now there, Mother, doesn't that prove to you that I can be trusted? I do trust you, Richard. I do. Good night, Mother. And I'm going to look in on you every now and then to remind you of it. Yes. You look in, and I look out. Good night. Oh, you are a little illiterate. Oh, that's splendid. Good night, Mother. Well, good night. Tell you what it is. But you see, if you tell me, it won't be a surprise. There's a young lady waiting to see you. A young lady? Yes, sir. Does she mean? Yes, sir. They have very pleasant young lady. Blonde hair, blue eyes, two, a hundred and six, and all around 34 with a little do. I want to know anything more about the young lady. I'll find it out for myself. What is all around 34? What's she want? Business, sir. She was sent by a mutual friend. You know as well as I do that it's long after business hour. Besides, my voice is gone again. I won't, won't see anybody. I know, Mr. Smith, but I couldn't come any other time. Can't you see me? Why, who said I couldn't see you? That will do, Andrews. Yes, sir, I thought it would say. Haven't I seen you somewhere? Well, that depends. I may not have been there. Oh, yeah. Oh, I see that one. But I know your face. I'm sure that we must have met. Well, no, no, no. Don't tell me. I'll get you in just a minute, yes. Move to, uh, move to sit down. Thank you. Yes. Oh, I'll get you, yes. I know your face. No. Why, Miss O'Dea. Yes. Diane O'Dea, my favorite screen actress. Really? How nice. I feel that we should be very, very good friends. I've seen so much of you. What? Oh, I mean, I've seen you so often. Oh. I'm afraid you're making fun of me. Not at all. Not at all. Diane O'Dea. Well, uh, what can I do to you, uh, for you, Miss O'Dea? Andrew's the man. He said something about a mutual friend. Yes, your new secretary, Kitty Minter, advised me to come and see you. Oh, you're a friend of Miss Minters? Yes. Oh, well. And, oh, Miss Smith, I think you're a perfectly wonderful man. Really? I mean, in your business. Everyone's talking about the wonderful speech you made in the Randall murder case. Oh, they're talking about it, are they? Well, well. But what about, uh, lonely wife? Yes, it was very good. That came right from the heart. And that's why I came? Yes? Of course, uh, of course, you're a murder lawyer, aren't you? Yes, I specialize in murders. You haven't murdered anybody, have you? Well, no, not yet. That is, I guess. Well, of course, I don't believe I could be very much assistance you see until after the crime was committed. Oh. Well, I only thought, on account of your feeling for lonely wives. Yes. You might get me a divorce for my husband. A husband? Uh-huh. A husband? Yes. That's, uh, that's different. Well, as a matter of fact, Miss O'Dea, I thoroughly and strongly disapprove of divorce. My specialty is murders. Oh, but this would be such a little one. No. No? Just a nice, quiet, sweet little divorce. You do not realize that modern civilization is founded on, uh, the unity, the those eyes. I don't suppose you mean that. Mean what, Mr. Smith? Why, that, uh, that come and get me expression in them. Why, I don't know what you're talking about. What a pity. You know I can hardly believe that you're married. Well, I'm not very much. That's why I want the divorce. Your husband is giving you trouble? He's not giving me anything. He's an actor. A bad actor? Not exactly. He's really quite good on a stage. Oh, what an alibi to get out every night. Well, I don't mind Felix going out. The trouble is that he doesn't come in. You mean to say that he leaves you all alone all night, every night? Well, no, not every night. And I can't stand the uncertainty. I'd be so much happier if he'd always come home when he's through at the theater. Or if I could depend on his staying out. You all little woman. I'll see what I can do. Do you like dancing? Oh, I love it. You love it? But wouldn't we be rather crowded dancing in here? Well, uh, oh, that's not a bad idea. Why couldn't we adjourn to the whoopee club? No. You know, you and I and Jesse James were just made for each other. Oh, I couldn't. My husband's terribly jealous. He is. And yet he leaves you alone and lonely. Oh, well, that's just like a man. Do you know, Miss O'Dea? Your friend, Miss Mint and I, we have a little extra business that we're going to transact. And we go into conference at the Aster at 10 o'clock. Why couldn't we all get together and have a little supper? But wouldn't you be embarrassed with two girls? Two. And me feeling positively oriental. Oh. But I came to you for a divorce, not a party. Well, of course, Miss O'Dea, if you cannot consider yourself a party of the first part, what is it, Andrew? The front door bell, sir. We'll see who it is. You might be interested to know, sir, that Mrs. Mantle is coming down the back stairs. Oh. She might not understand our business relations. Oh, well, I'll go. But that way, a little more difficult, but much safer. Oh. And you won't forget 10 at the Aster, and we'll discuss your divorce case. You don't think I'll be doing wrong? Oh, time will tell. Time will tell. Yes, take a seat, sir. I'll tell him. Gentlemen to see you, sir. The great zero. Meaning nothing. He said your secretary made an appointment, sir. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Oh, by all means. You have him come right in. Yes, sir. He might be a good excuse for my getting out. This way, sir. Mr. Smith. You understand, of course, that this is long after business hours. I can give you only five minutes. Thank you. Mr. Smith, you are a very famous lawyer. Well, possibly 10 minutes. Would you sit down? Thank you. I am a board bill impersonator, sir. I am personated all the great men. Julius Caesar, William Jennings Bryant. Oh, all the dead ones. Oh, I do the live ones, too, sir. Yes, I know. I saw your act in the theater. You're really quite good. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Your jury speaker, sir, made you famous. I'm opening my new act at the Talas next week, and I picked you as the man of the moment. May I impersonate you? You impersonate me? Well, how could you? Oh, as a matter of fact. Yes, I think you do look a little bit like me. Oh, but I flatter you there, of course. But my dear sir, Mr. Smith, I could get your face in two minutes. You can do in two minutes what has taken me all my life to do. May I show you? You'll have to. Oh, may I, would it make you nervous if I watch the operation? 2,000 people watch me every night. You have an inferiority complex, haven't you? Oh, very good. Make a few gestures. I'd like to study your tricks of expression, your mannerisms. Smile, please. Register grief. Grief? Well, how do you grieve? Splendid. Versignation. Very good. I feel like a perfect fool. Very good. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'clock. Have you a mother-in-law? No, my wife is an orphan. Oh, lucky boy. And not that I want to say anything against my mother-in-law. You're very sweet, old lady, and very, very fond of me. Only she works too hard at it. Oh, tries to rung you out of your own home, I suppose. No, tries to keep me in it. Tonight, for instance, I have a date at 10 with a lady. With two ladies? Two ladies? What for? Well, I don't know just what for. Of course, I have an idea, but I don't know. One of them is married. A husband must be a sap. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Oh, Mitty, are you decent? Hello. Hi, where have you been? Oh, say, did you go to see Cliff? Mm, I went, I saw, and I made a date to meet him tonight. Say, that guy must be blooming all over the place. He made a date with me for tonight, too. Yeah, I know all about it. That's why I agreed to go. Oh, yeah? Which one of us were you trying to protect? Mitty, that was the only way I could get him to take my case. Oh, that's all right, darling. And I'll give you every break in the world. I know. Say, you better go over to your apartment and get dressed, hadn't you? Oh, I only hope I get there before Felix does. Oh, why worry about zero? You're going to get a divorce from him, aren't you? Yeah, but I don't want him to divorce me. Oh, bye. Bye. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Pardon me, have you an extra pair of glasses? I should have somewhere. No, come to think of it, I broke mine. Here, take these. Well, how about it? Why, well, I'll be a son of a gun. Richard Smith and Richard Smith. Why, we could be the Smith brothers. Oh, boy, you could fool anybody. Why, of course I could. I bet I could fool your own mother. Yes, sir. Fool my mother. My boy, Hepburn, has sent you to me. You want my permission to give this impersonation of me in public? That's the reason I'm here. Well, you stay here tonight in my place. And if you can fool my mother-in-law and the servants until I get back, I'll give you that permission. It's a bet. You're on, and I'm off. You seem to have a frog in your throat, at least it doesn't. Fine, I could use that. Good, I'll give them to you. This is my room, and this is my wife's room. Your wife? She isn't here, is she? You think I'd go away and leave you here if she were? She's in the mountains. Now, this is a dressing room and bed connecting the two rooms. Oh, they connect? Sure, we speak. Where does mother sleep? Mother. She never sleeps. My mother-in-law may say something about having a surprise for you. Well, that's all right. I'll tell her we'll wait until morning. All right, did you ring, sir? No, no, uh, uh, Sonny, I did not. Then it must have been Mrs. Mantle. Has the gentleman gone, sir? Who? The gentleman. Oh, yes, yes. Yes, he's gone, yes. And will you bring me a drink, please? Yes, sir. And tell my mother-in-law that my cold seems to be so much worse, I'll probably be getting to bed early. Yes, sir, yes. Marvelous. Boy, you're a wonder. Say, if you could fool my mother-in-law, I'll pay you $500, and I'll make you an offer to retain you regularly. Huh? Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I almost forgot. There you are. Every little bit helps. Oh, thanks. You don't miss a trick. You must have been out before. Now, you all set? Well, not quite. I think you better turn down some of the lights. I don't want to take any chances with mother-in-law. There you are. Now, the house is yours. If you want me, you'll find me at the Hotel Aster. Hey, hey, wait. What do you call your mother-in-law? Oh, uh, uh, everything. You'll be perfectly safe if you stick to mother. Well, I hear loose moments calling. Ta-ta. Ne-nee-nee-nee-nee. Hu-hu-hu-hu-nee-nee. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, here you are. You know, I've had such a start. I could have heard the fact you were Sam. Yes. My call had just left. Well, now we can continue our little session. I'm sorry, mother-in-law. You'll have to excuse me. I'm very busy. How are you going? Well, I'm going to bed. But you mustn't. I mustn't go to bed? Not before you get your little surprise. I'm sorry, mother-in-law. You'll have to keep it until the morning. Richard, you're so stupid. Your wife is home again. Maybe he's in his room. So little. Takey-dee-dee. Aren't you surprised? Oh, I'm paralyzed. See, I don't bother to be a dear. But I have a big homecoming kiss you've been writing me to expect. The great big homecoming kiss? Mm-hmm. The one I was writing you about? Mm-hmm. Oh, well, I'm saving it till... Oh, shh. You silly, palted goon. You know, I mean, I'm saving it until we... Until my cold gets better. Your cold? Have you a cold, sweetheart? Oh, it's frightful. Oh! I miss you. Besides, if anyone saw us. Andrews, leave the room. Leave the room. No. Don't anyone dare to leave this room. And I wouldn't play so closely, dear. Oh, dear. No, really, in the condition I'm in, oh, it's dangerous. The sticks, I'm not afraid. Well, that's because you have no idea what's ahead of us. Head of us? Uh-huh. And something gone wrong. Oh. Ticky, you're keeping something something. Yes. Mother, turn up the lights. No. No. No. Don't dare to turn up those lights. Ticky, what is the matter? Andrews, get me a stimulant. Are you a serious couple, dear? Oh, it's probably fatal. Oh, if I had any idea that you were coming home, I wouldn't have been here. What? No. I mean, in the condition I'm in. Oh, Ticky. Well, there's just one thing to be done. I've got to go downtown. Downtown? 10 minutes ago. Important engagement with the hotel after. Well, fine. No, my precious husband. The way I think I do, he'll telephone and cancel that engagement, won't you, Ticky? Telephone? Who? I mean, is there a telephone? Of course. Of course, you can't. Yes. Can I get the aster on the wire? The hotel aster on the telephone. Yes, please. Wait, what do you mean? Any telephone you've done around here? I'll do it myself. Well, maybe I'll wait. I'll wait until you get ready to go to it. Until we both get ready. Well, maybe before that. Oh, I knew you would. You know, I'm simply dying to get comfortable in my own little bed again and have a nice, long talk with you. There's nothing I'd like better than to sit on the edge of the bed and listen to you, but oh, how thoughtless of me. After your long trip, dear, you must be tired. Oh, I'm not a bit tired, really. Why, the two months in the mountains have done me a world of good. Do your telephone, ain't it, Richard? Well, Madeline, get out of your traveling clothes and do something more comfortable. Yes, it won't take you but a moment. And, Dicky, I bought a new Lace 90 yesterday that's positively indecent. Wait till you see it. Huh? Oh, I don't know. Oh, I was going down to see it if the front door was locked. Oh, you know, Andrew, it was always locked. Oh, well, I thought tonight he might have forgotten it. Richard Smith? After all you promised, Madeline, are you planning to desert her? Desert her? Why? Our first evening home in two months. And you? Have you no human feelings at all? That's just the problem. I'm too human. A lovely devoted wife like Madeline. Surely she's entitled to some consideration. Well, he's a brother, Elk. What's that? What? A mother you don't understand. You see, there's sudden return. It's been an awful shock, an awful shock to my whole system. My throat, my voice. Good for a voice or God. She doesn't want you to sing to her. But she wants more than anything else in the world. There's a nice, long talk with you. Oh, if I could depend on that. Now, Richard, don't delay your telephoning another minute. What telephone? Oh, telephone? What was the number? Good night, Madeline, dear. So glad to have you home again. Good night. Well, that's pleasant to me. Hotel Aster? Good night, Richard, dear. Huh? Yes. Good night. Hotel Aster? Will you get Mr. Richard Smith? Page Mr. Richard Smith? Yes. Tell him to telephone his home immediately. Important. Oh, it's vital. Mr. Richard Smith. Thank you. I never was so tired in all my... please come out of that doorway, will you? Have you been a good boy since I'd been away? Oh, I'm in more danger right now than I have been in the past two months. Please, please go away and let me die or go crazy or something. Go away? Dicky, you're not well. Don't you suppose I know it? Haven't I been telling you that for the past half hour in those very words? The telephone didn't ring, did it? No, dear. I'm afraid you've been doing too much brain work. That's it. It's my brain. It's not fire. It's fever. I can't think. You can't think? No. Yes, the only things I can think of are the things that I shouldn't. That was the telephone bell then, was it? Dicky, you're trembling all over. Don't you suppose I know it? I'm liable to go to pieces any moment. The telephone isn't out of order, is it? Oh, Father, the old phone. Thank goodness I've arrived in time to prevent another nervous breakdown like you had last year. That's it. Nervous combustion. I've been trying to keep it from you. Stand for an ambulance quick. Ambulance? Nothing. I'm going to take care of you myself. Now, come on. Now, the first thing to do is to put you to bed. That is the last thing. Now, don't argue, dear. Now, I'm going to give you a nice old-fashioned alcohol rub-down. No, no, no, no, no. I couldn't stand this. Oh, come on. Now, Madeline knows that. Now, put your head right down here. There. Put your little head right down here. No, no, no. I'm afraid. You're afraid? Yes, I'm afraid. You might catch my cold. Oh, Father, you old call. Now, Madeline knows how to take care of her Dicky bird. Come on. Put your little head right down here. Come on. More poor, nervous Dicky boy. Now, before anything else, sweetheart, that great big homecoming kiss. Never. Oh, yes. Never. Oh, now, come on. Now, come on. Now, come on. I guess my mother-in-law must have gone to bed. Oh, you're married, too. Very happily. That's the reason I so thoroughly disapprove of divorce, especially in this state. What do you mean? Well, you see, in order to cure a divorce in this state, you must have evidence. What kind of evidence? Well, evidence of a very serious nature. How serious? Well, you see, you must produce evidence that your husband has been... has been... that is to say, you must explain that you have discovered him. And not only him, but... I don't know what you mean, Mr. Smith. You have to get the goods on him. In other words, you have to prove that he has a... Where do you come from, Miss O'Dea? I came from South Dakota. Oh, I don't blame you. Well, out in South Dakota, don't they ever... ever... Ever what, Mr. Smith? No, there's no use of us going to South Dakota. It may just as well stay here. Did you ever see a bedroom farce? Oh, you mean the kind where the wrong man hides under the bed? At a girl. And now we're getting on with it. Only in this case, you see, the wrong man must not only be... but... But what, Mr. Smith? Oh, really, really. There's no use of our talking until we can find an interpreter. Or until we get to know each other better. Oh. Oh, here's your friend. Well, well, well, here you are. I've been living everywhere for you. Just in time. Won't you sit down? Oh, not in this morgue. Didn't you say something about the roofie club? Diane's never been upon the roof there, have you, darling? Oh, my husband never takes me anyplace. Oh, you poor girl. Well, Mr. Smith is going to fix all that, aren't you? You're going to fix the roof? Oh. Oh. Well, we'll start on the roof. And finish in the garden. Oh, Mr. Smith. Andrews. They garden, um... You're paralyzed. Not paralyzed. Can't you see any movement? Where are you going? Give this to the tailor. He's waiting. I hope I'm not disturbing you. Not at all, mother. Oh, I'm just dying to have a little talk with you. How did Dickie like his little surprise? Oh, mother. If you only knew... Oh, then you really have something to tell me. I'll tell the world I have. Oh, never mind the world. Tell me. It was Dickie glad to have you home again. Glad? He was beside himself. Oh, mother, this is going to be the turning point in Dickie's married life. Oh, lovely. Wait till I tell you everything. Oh, I'm so happy. I'm just going to congratulate Dickie. No, I wouldn't do that. Don't disturb him. He's napping. Shall I have your breakfast out here in the room? No. I'm going for a walk before breakfast this morning. I feel as if the world is mine. At last I have what I've been hoping for. You have? How do you think? I'll hold on my husband that he'll never be able to break. Oh, you darling. You think? You think? Very idea. At this time of the morning, don't. When Mr. Smith awakens, he'll attend to you, my man. My man, indeed. In my man? I'm nobody's man but my own. Morning, Mr. Smith. What's good about it? Didn't you sleep well, sir? I? I didn't sleep one wink the whole night long. Who the devil locked my door? He wasn't the devil, sir. It was Mrs. Mantle. Oh. What time is it? At nine o'clock. Oh, I've got to get out of here. Where's my coat? I just gave it to the tailor, sir. He brought back your other dressing gown. A dressing gown won't help me. I want my coat. You don't seem to be yourself this morning, sir. I'm not. Perhaps you need something to eat. Won't you have your breakfast now, sir? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Anything to keep you quiet. Where's the dining room? What, sir? I said where is it? In the dining room? Yes, sir. Breakfast in the dining room. It's not being served in the cold cellar. Well, I don't want to go in the dining room. I want you to get me a cup of coffee and some cracked ice and some white rock. And don't stand that gaping at me like that. Put that thing down. Hurry. Yes. Yes. Yes. Wait! Yes. Don't rush out on me like that before I finish talking to you. Where is Mrs. Smith? And Mrs. ... The other one. My mother-in-law. You mean Mrs. Mantle? Yes. She's gone upstairs. Oh. And if you're pleased, sir. No, I don't please. You get my coffee and my coat. Yes. Yes. Wait! Yes. Where can I find a common brush? Have you looked where you always keep them, sir? Have I looked where I always keep them? Where do I always keep them? I'll see if you have intelligence enough to answer me that. Why, sir? In the cabinet. In the dressing room, of course. Of course. Why, didn't you say so in the first place? Yes. He must have had a terrible night. Terrible. My home for what? The safest part of all. Hey, lady. Will you pick out some place and land? Will you please make up your mind? Driving around. Hey, that ain't the question. There are hours I've been driving you around. Say, what's the matter? Ain't you got no home? Oh, I don't know. I've been out all night. Look, maybe I'd better drive you to the police station. No. I don't know anybody there. Um, let's see. Take me to Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith, huh? Yeah. Any particular one? Mr. Richard Smith. My lawyer. And where does he live? 1405 Park Avenue. 1405 Park. Yeah, 140, no. One, four, one, five, four, oh. One, oh, five, four, five, oh, one. Hey, lady, will you make up your mind? Will you please make up your mind, please? It's the thing you've ever done for me. You've guessed exactly what I needed. Yes. I didn't guess it, sir. You told me to bring in an emotion patient home. You know what? An emotion patient home. Well, then it must have been mental telepathy. You know the effect of mind over matter. Or else you've been dreaming. Yes, sir. I'm beginning to think so, sir. Didn't you find your common brush? What common brush? Why? The one you were looking for. Why don't you suppose I know where to find my own common brush? Andrews? You're drunk. Yes, sir. A little drunker than I thought, sir. And you dared to admit it. You dared to stand there staggering at me at 9 o'clock in the morning. Well, sir, you see, I've been having a little trouble. You've been having a little liquid lightning. Only one flash? I mean nip, sir. Well, quit nipping. You think you're strong enough to get me some more of this white brush? Yes, sir. Though I wish you'd have your breakfast, sir. I don't see why you don't want to go in the dining room. That's a nice dining room. Who said I didn't want to go into the dining room? Of course it's a nice dining room. It's my dining room. I'd like to see anybody try to keep me out of it. I'm glad to hear you say that, sir. You do know where it is, don't you? Why, certainly. If nobody's moved it, see who that is. Yes, yes. He must have had a worse night than I expected. Much worse. Excuse me, sir, but it's... I don't care who it is. Who the devil drank my coffee? Well, you did, sir, before you went in the dining room. I wanted to comb my hair. But you didn't comb your hair. I didn't, didn't I? Are you losing your mind? Yes, sir. I'm beginning to think so, sir. Well, you snap out of it and get me some more coffee. Yes, sir. I was just going to, sir, when you told me to answer the front doorbell. I told you to answer the... Well, you're hearing things as well as seeing them. Well, I did hear the front doorbell, sir. Because there's proof of that. I opened it for two young ladies who wanted to see you. Two young ladies? Yes, sir. They're dressed just in like. They must be twins. Well, I haven't any twins. You tell them to come back late this afternoon. He ought to be here by then. He? He? Who? Oh, he. Well, whenever I say he, I always mean I. Why? Haven't you noticed that? Not yet, sir. Well, you keep it in mind and bring that coffee to my room and some white rock. Yes, sir. Nobody knows what a night he must have had. Nobody. Andrews, don't move so fast. You know you'd like to speak to me. Well, sir, you... you've come back. You do want me to go to the front door before I bring your white rock and coffee, don't you? I don't want any more coffee, stupid. I told you to answer that front door five minutes ago. What have you been doing, walking backwards? Yes, sir. Perhaps I have without knowing you. You know, you've got to cut out this early morning drinking. Yes, I will, sir. Indeed I will. You'd better. I'll try and pull myself together, sir. I'll tell the young ladies to call back later. What, young ladies? The twins, sir. You said you couldn't see them. Andrews is getting serious. You never said one word to me about twins. Didn't I? You certainly did not. Where are these ladies? In the reception room, sir. This is the twins, sir. I found you. You are? I'm glad somebody's glad. Where's the rest of you? Andrews said you were twins. There were two of us, sir. I swear there were two of us. Oh, that's nothing. I've been seeing four. Four taxi cabs. Four front doors. Four cute little ducky birds. Here, here, please, please, please, please. Don't go, Andrews. Wait. What do you mean by coming here, Miss O'Dare? When you told me last night that you had to go home alone, didn't I put you in a taxi cab? Didn't I be your best, didn't I? Well, yes, but... the nasty old taxi cab fell apart. And it took him ages and ages to get it together again. And anywhere I have no money, so I made him bring me here. He's waiting outside. Old money? Oh, that's all you do. Oh, well, that's simple. Oh, by Jove, I have an ascent left myself. Andrews, I have an ascent. That's one thing I'm sure of. I can borrow some from the cook. She ought to have some. She was paid yesterday. Yes. I hope you know where that kitchen is. Yes, sir. Well, hurry. Yes, sir. Oh, Dickie, I'm so relieved. Whee! Diane, please. Oh, I want a break. Now, you're chasing me. Then please, be quiet. Oh, I'm too happy to be quiet. You come down here. No, I don't want to. Come down here. You come right down here. I want to. Come down this minute. No. Come. All right. You're a fresh start. Oh, Dickie Bird, don't be harsh with me. Anybody think you're my husband? I am always harsh in the morning. My loose moments end with breakfast. Anything that you have to say to me today will come under the head of new business. Well, I don't want any new business. Oh, it was good enough for me. If you please, sir, the cook hasn't a nickel. Nobody hasn't a nickel. I don't want a nickel. What good is a nickel? Oh, here, you go outside. Go outside and find out exactly how much the taxi cab bill is. Hurry. Hurry. Oh, what am I going to do? Use that. We must hear. Yes. Would you like to earn $20? We must hear. Will you get this young lady up to the guest room quickly? We must hear. Don't let anybody see her. No, must hear. She came to see me. No, I'm business. But Mrs. Mantell might not understand. No, must hear. But I understand. Yes. Come, madam. We go. No, no, no. Hasn't been again. Listen, the bill is 50 bucks, and I'm going to get it, or I'm going to take it out of somebody's hide. Understand? Yes, yes. You're going to hide? I mean your money. Yes, madam. You will be safe here. You're negligee, huh? The bill is 50 hides, sir. I mean dollars. We'll see if you can pry it out of Mrs. Mantell, will you? Wouldn't it be better if I went to the bank, sir? That's a good idea. Go ahead. Yes. You go to the bank. Yes, sir. And on your way to the bank, something got spilled on my coat last night. Drop in and leave it at the tailor's for me, will you? Your coat? Yes. My coat. What's the matter with it? It won't bite you. But I... I... I gave it to the tailor. About half an hour ago, sir. You gave him my coat? Yes, sir. I... I gave you your coat. Pray to God you may have... Come, come, come. Pull yourself together, old man. I can't, sir. I... I seem to have lost all control. I'm beginning to see them. There. There. Hey. They were afraid to look at me. I've got to do something. I... I can't stand it. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. I can't go home with Felix in a dress like this this time of the morning, can I? No. Say, you go home and get me a dress. All right. All right. I'll be back in a jiffy. Nine. Oh, hello, mother. How are you? I'm perfectly well. Where, you see? Just getting ready to go to work. Work? Well, I never dreamed you wanted to go to work this morning after what happened last night. Why, what do you know about last night? Oh, not very much, but I can guess, can't I? Oh, yes, yes, you can guess. You're some little guesser. Richard, I'm afraid you're going to be angry with me. But I missed all for the best. You meant what for the best? When I locked you in last night. You locked me in? No. You were acting a bit strangely. You seemed nervous and excited. So I decided to give you a dose of prevention. After you went to bed, I locked all the doors and took the keys upstairs with me. You locked all the doors after I went to bed. Oh, then I couldn't have gotten out. I couldn't have gotten out even if I wanted to. Of course you couldn't, Richard. And I was in there all night. Are you ill again? No, Mother. No, I'm better. I'm much better. Oh, what a joke. Locked in cold storage all night, Mother. You are simply priceless. Who are you waving at? Nothing, Mother. Nothing, nothing. In fact, less than nothing. I was simply waving at myself. You're absurd, Richard. I am, Mother. I'm more than absurd. I'm positively hilarious. Oh, now. Now I understand what was the matter with poor old Andrews. Oh, he must have been seeing things with a vengeance. Andrew's condition is no laughing matter. I can't help it, Mother. I can't help it. You'd laugh too if you knew what I knew. No, no, no. No, you wouldn't. Why not? Don't you think I can appreciate a joke? Go on, tell me. No, it's a secret. And if I told you, it would be no joke. Oh, now, don't catalyze me, Richard. Think about you. Rather. Is there someone else? Oh, decidedly, someone else. And then, is there another someone mixed up in a suit? No, no, not exactly. Well, well, not yet, anyway. Not yet? Oh, Richard, I knew it. The secret is about you. And someone else. And then another someone mixed up in it a little later on. You dear boy. Is this the Madeline mansion? Oh, you've had a letter from Madeline. Have I had a letter? Oh, you dear ridiculous fellow. I don't blame you for being hilarious. Will I take her out to it or bring it into it? Don't talk like a fool. Get her something to bring her back to herself. Yes, sir. Now you're talking, sir. Get even with that whistic. Kiss me the next time you see me and Mrs. Mansell alone together. And for what is you, when Madame Martin sees you? Well, it's a practical joke, you see, to get even with somebody for laughing at me. And will Madame Mansell laugh? Will she laugh? Say, I laugh myself. Oh, well. For $50. Uh-huh. But suppose I lose my position. Oh, don't worry. You lose this one. I'll get you a better one. Now is it a go? Oh, no, Monsieur. Kiss the kiss. The next time I see you with Madame Mansell. Uh-huh. You won't forget. Excuse me, sir. But I forgot to give you the money. Money? What money? Why? The money you told me to get for the young lady upstairs. Don't you remember, sir? Oh, take it. Take it. Don't say that I haven't been to the bank, sir. Don't tell me it isn't real money. I can't stand any more of it. All right, all right, all right. It will relieve your mind. I'll take it. I burned it. What'll I do with this, sir? Drink it yourself. Give me that money. Not on your life. What do you mean by staying out all night? Shut up. You talk like a mother-in-law. You realize that I was locked up in that room all night long? Well, I'm sorry, Mrs. Mansell locked you up, but... Well, what's so funny about that? Why, don't you think it's funny? Funny? Say, what kind of a man are you? Locked up all alone? You don't know. You don't know. Oh, I know you've given me a marvelous joke on my mother-in-law. I can't tell her about it, but I'll laugh every time I think of it. Again, you can go now. Not yet. Huh? What's that? I'm not going to leave this house until I get my big laugh. It'll cost me $50, and I want to be here to enjoy it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are you talking about? Well, then why don't you go upstairs and take a nap? A good, long nap. You ought to be laid out somewhere. Layed out? Oh, excuse me. Just a minute. Oh, my word. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. What do you think I am? A lollipop? Gainless creature. Who ordered this? What's the matter? Why she do not laugh? You can figure that out while you're packing your trunk. Oh, I knew she was French, but I made allowances for that. I kissed Mr. Smith under my very nose. Pardon me, Mother. Under my very nose. You don't need to. I never did. Yes, you lie. You promised me $50. $50? What are you talking about? $50 is too much for any woman. What is this? A badger game? Don't stay in this house another minute. No, then he has to give me another job. You promise? I promise. I never promised that. Oh, I have a very good idea who did. You go on. You get out of here. Get out. I resent that. Richard, how did she say that? Oh, she sent you her best regards. Richard Smith? Yes? Are you quite sure you didn't ask her to kiss you? Oh, Mother, I don't have to ask to be kissed. What? I have my own dear sweet little wife, yes. Oh, and she'd understand if she were home. Well, you can tell her when she comes in. What? She'll be home in a minute. Home? I don't believe it. Well, you just wait here and see. Come on. You've got to get out. My wife is coming. Wait a minute. In a minute. The minute will be too late. I don't get excited, Mother. Just leave everything to me. Wait, wait, wait. I can't go out to sleep with this. Well, I go out with mine every day. But if you're so fussy, there. Outside. Bicking. Huh? Oh, darling, you have come home. Well, well, well. Dickie boy. Didn't you expect me? No, yes, of course, of course, but not so soon. Or if you only had any idea of how lonely I've been. Oh, Dickie. Oh, Dickie. What? Is this gentleman a friend of yours? Why, no, he's no gentleman. He's no friend. It's Mr. Zero. Mr. Zero, yes. My wife, Mrs. Smith. And Mrs. Mantle, my mother, my wife's mother. I'm delighted. Mr. Zero is the famous vaudeville artist. Oh, I've heard of you. Oh, thank you. He has done me the honor to want to add me to his list of impersonations. Oh, no doubt he does it to perfection. Oh, how wonderful. Breakfast is ready. If you want it, come and get it. Oh, won't you have breakfast with us? Why, delighted if I'm not intruding. Oh, no. My husband's friends are my friends. Oh, yes, indeed. But at a time like this, I understand you've just returned home from the vacation. Oh, that's perfectly all right. You've no idea, dear, how glad I am to see you. Why didn't you let me know you were coming? I wanted to surprise you. You did. Oh, I shall never forget the look on your face when I walked in last night. Come, Mr. Zero. Coming, darling. Last night? Dickie, darling. Dickie, what's wrong? Why, what happened? Dickie, come on, dear. What is it? Oh, my poor darling, you're ruined. I mean, our home is ruined. Why, my poor Richard. And you sing so well this morning when you first woke up. Oh, hold me. I'm going to faint again. I know what I'm going to faint. Oh, no, no. Sweetheart, no. Oh, watch you need another old-fashioned rub-down life I gave you last night. Oh, I want to die. I want to die. No, Dickie. Please. Dickie, control yourself. Let me help you to the count. No, no. Come on, come on, dear. Come on. Oh, Miss, you're a darling. Now you hurry and get into this and let's get out of here. Oh, here you can have this. Sweetheart, I never want to see it again. Oh, merci beaucoup, madame. No. Now, come on. No, no. Come on, like a good boy. There. Now, everything's all right. All right. Oh, my poor Madeline. No, you're happy Madeline there. Now, tell me, just what's troubling you, darling? Oh, you don't know what you're asking. Are you so serious? You know, I could see last night. The moment I saw you, that you want yourself. You could see that? Yes, you were different. Oh, awfully nice, darling. Oh, awfully, awfully nice, but different. Well, how different? Well, I've always known you were impulsive. But last night, oh, in spite of your cold, the way you kissed me. Oh. You feel so badly, Sweetheart. Oh, just dying. That's all. Oh, my poor, nervous, sticky boy. Perhaps I kept you awake too late. Oh. But then I had so much to tell you. Yes, yes, I suppose you did. You suppose? Don't you remember? No. Yeah, oh, the joy of having you back, dear, that you had just a little bit hazy, that's all. Oh, maybe I put too much whiskey in your hot drink. Did you give me a hot drink last night? Of course, darling, after I had you all comfortable and safely covered up. Covered up? Oh, I'm just losing my mind, that's all. Madeline, go ahead. Tell me, tell me what happened. What did I do? Oh, Dickie, what didn't you do? You know, I never realized before that you were so versatile. Versatile? Yes, those imitations you gave. Imitations of what? Of all sorts of things. And the jokes you played. Why, Dickie, you are positively skittish. Skittish? Oh, my. Go on, Madeline, tell me everything. Why, Dickie, you must know as well as I do. What was that lovely little Swiss lullaby you sang? Swiss lullaby? Yes, the one you yodeled to me. Yodeled? Oh, my word, I yodeled. Oh, you must yodel again for me often. Now that I know you do it so well. This is the end. What nonsense, darling. Why, I fixed you up last night, and I'll do it again. I'll make you abrasors, only your Madeline knows how. And then we'll go for a nice, long drive in the country. You won't try to work today, will you? Work? After the board bill so I gave last night? Oh, no, now you must rest. And then we'll don't forget all the lovely things we plan to do today. Dear, dear, dear. Last night, last night, last night. 12. You yodeled to her, did you? Well, she liked it, didn't she? I'll say she did. She wants me to yodel again, and often, and I can't. Oh, you fiend, you, you, you, how? Well, I liked that. After all the trouble I took not to give you away. Why, she never for a moment suspected the difference. What? You didn't tell her you weren't home last night. That's a fine question. Well, then everything is all right. All right. I knew just how to handle the situation. I behaved exactly as you would have. You knew how to handle the situation. You knew how to handle the situation by being skittish, by telling her stories at midnight, just for a start. Well, I had to do something to pass the time. You asked me to impersonate you. No excuse for you kissing her, Zero. But I was you. But I'm her husband. Well, so was I. Oh. Put something into my hand. Play what happened last night. Well, what do you think? I can't think. I'm going mad. Ha, ha, ha. Sorry about how things. Dickie. Yes, dear? Shut up. She means me. How do you know? For that time, where do you? It's what made you feel so good last night. I'm going mad. Don't you go away from here? Perhaps I'd better. I think so. You'll excuse me? Oh, yes. Thank you. Well, what have you done to her? She spamed it. Spaded? This is new secretary. Secretary? And who is this? My wife. Your wife? Yes. What was she doing here? Listening. She knows everything. She's coming too. How long has she been here? Long enough to hear everything. I'm shooting the wrong man. Poor girl. Well, dear, do you feel any better? I don't know. I haven't made up my mind. Well, I'm glad you've come back because I think it's about time you were told the truth about everything. Yes. That's what I want. The truth and the whole truth about everything. Well, now that we're here, we can talk this thing over calmly. We might as well all sit down. Sit down, dear. I will not sit down. Dickie, sit down. I'm rested now. Richard, I want you to know Mrs. Zero. Mrs. Zero. Your wife? Why, certainly. Oh, I'm glad to meet you. Now to begin with. You said where are you going? I have been discharged, madame. Discharged? Who discharged you? These ladies. I had to. She's breaking out something awful. Our friend's breaking out? Well, if you must know the truth, she became so brazen as to kiss Dickie right in front of me. It only took $1250. That is a lie. I did nothing of the kind. All going to tell the truth? I may as well confess. It was I who did it. You? I never saw you before. It's like he. Wait a minute. What is this? A piece of dress, madame. Well, I can see it's a dress. Let me look at it. Madame, this must be one of yours. I will notify the police. I'm going to call an ambulance. Oh, mother. Think of the neighbors. Oh, no, madame. It was given to me. Who gave it to you? This lady. She gave it to you? That's a good one. It's you not, madame. Why, I never saw it before in my life. Oh, get the girl out of here. What difference does it make where she got it? It doesn't belong to any of you. But why should she insist that you gave it to her? Well, how do I know? That's what I'd like to know. Maybe Andrews can help her. Andrews can do nothing of the kind. Well, there's no harm in asking. Why ask a dumb person? Now, we'll all hear something. Is hearing, ma'am? Yes, Andrews. Have you ever seen this lady before? Yes, ma'am, two of her. Two of her? Twice. When and where did you see her? Shall I tell the truth, Mr. Smith? Why, of course, you fool. She called this morning. In fact, I let her in. Well, well, there you are, you see. Somebody had to let her in. Did you ever see her before that? Yes, last night. And if he asked me, it was the worst night in history. Last night is not for my business, but it's not, ma'am, for me of this morning in this house. Yes, some way, can I get you that? Let me see that dress. You want to see this? Why, Diane, this is one of yours. Oh, you little homebody. You weren't home at all last night. No. Who were you out with? Oh. Who were you out with? Oh. Tell me. I was out with him. So? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh. Why, how perfectly ridiculous. How could I possibly be out with her? Wasn't I locked up with you in that room the whole night long? No. I knew from the very first it wasn't you. Yes. You knew. And yet you let him stay? Oh, no. Oh, you female species. You'll pay for this. Wait, wait. Let me explain. Explain. You got that 50 bucks? No. Oh, come on. Back you go. She comes across. Say, I've been riding this game around since 12 o'clock last night. I picked her up at the Whoopie Club. And I... I let you out at the subway station. And it was with him. That's the guy I let out at the Union Club. You don't want to divorce now at all, do you, good party? You let him stay. You let him stay. Of course. I knew the minute I kissed him, it wasn't you. But what did you do? Well, as soon as I was positive, I demanded the reason for the impersonation. And I told her. You told her. It was either that or go to jail. Oh, Dickie, it was such a gorgeous chance to cure you of your blooming habit. When it to her room, darling, I locked the connecting door. Yes. And prayed for the best. Oh, sweetheart, if you'll forgive me this time, I promise you I'll never bloom again as long as I live. Well, I'm sure glad I'm not married. Thank heaven all my husbands are dead.