 Craft presents The Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah! The Craft Cheese Company will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time Harold Perry as The Great Gilder Sleeve. Written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. We'll hear from The Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. You know, just about everybody is interested in good nutrition these days. The newspapers and magazines play up articles about vitamins, food energy, good nourishment in general. And of course, better nutrition is more important than ever in wartime. So let's look at the nutrition facts about parquet margarine. Crafts delicious bread for bread that's an economical source of important food values. First, parquet margarine is an excellent energy food. In fact, it's one of the best energy foods you can serve. Now that's mighty important these busy wartime days. Second, parquet margarine is a reliable food source of vitamin A. In fact, every pound contains 9,000 units of this essential vitamin the whole year round. Now that's important too because vitamin A is so necessary to good health. And incidentally, parquet is wonderfully good tasting. It's the margarine that tastes so good. So get acquainted with delicious economical parquet margarine. Ask your food dealer tomorrow for parquet P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Craft. Well, now let's join our friend, the Great Gilder Sleeve. After a hard day at the water department, he comes trudging home, shakes the snow from his collar, stamps his feet on the door mat, opens the front door, and is greeted by a warm smell that can mean only one thing. Cabbage. Well, where there's cabbage, there may be corned beef. Leroy! You're gonna break your neck one of these days. No, I won't. Well, I'm gonna break mine. Is that your sled out in the sidewalk? Yeah, that's funny. I was just gonna put it away. Yeah, that's funny. I was just gonna suggest that. Judge Hooker was here a few minutes ago. He left something for you. Oh, he did, eh? What did he want? Nothing. He just left it and said, here, maybe this'll shut your uncle up. Huh? What did he leave? A gas mask. So they finally got around to the gas masks, eh? I've been after Hooker for months to get some action on that. A fine head warden he is. All he needs is a head. They expect us to fight a war with armbands? Where is the thing? Right in here on the sofa. Oh, well, let's have a look at it. Oh, I see you've already had a look at it. Oh, I didn't know. Probably broken it. That's not a toy, Leroy. Okay, try it on, uncle. Let's see. How do you get into this thing? Yeah, there. How do I look? You never look better. Yes. Here, take a look in the mirror. Yeah. Hehehehehe. Oh, my goodness. Let's go out and show Bertie, huh? Come on out in the kitchen. Can you see? Come and fall to camp. It's all right, Bertie. It's only me. Oh, man. I thought they'd come for the cab me home. Yeah, hehehehehe. See if it works. See if he can smell a cabbage through it. Oh, well, that's an idea. You put that thing on again, Mr. Gillsleeve, and you're going to have to find a new cook, because I will have when. Oh, it's nothing to be afraid of, Bertie. Here, you put it on. Me? Yes. Mr. Gillsleeve, I just assumed stick my head in the lion's mouth. Oh, come on, Bertie. Leroy, you get away from me with that. Go on now. Get out of here. I've got things to do. I've got to sweep up this mess. Yeah, come on, Leroy. I think we better leave Bertie alone. I ain't going to have people come in my kitchen with no gas mask. My cooking ain't that bad. Yes, hehehehehe. Well, Uncle Mord, you beat me home. Hello, Marjorie. I didn't hear you come in. It's still snowing. Leroy, I nearly fell over your sled, Uncle Mord. Well, why don't you look where you're going? Young man, I told you to put that away. Oh, just going to. Well, just do it. Has a new secretary, Uncle Mord. Secretary, she'll never do. I'm going to have to let her go. Bessie, she drives me crazy. Oh, that's too bad. Say, we had a little excitement at the plant today. Excitement? Really? What happened? We had a fire. No kidding. Did the engines come? Yes, but it didn't amount to much. The fire was out by the time they got there. Wait a minute. Where did this fire start? In the shipping room in a pile of crates. What time did it happen? Oh, it must have been around 12.30. The alarm rang while we were at lunch. Well, everybody was out of the way, eh? Were the police calling on this? I don't know. I didn't even see the fire. Some of the boys told me about it afterwards. So, they didn't even call the police. Hey, young man, you think it was a fire or a bug? I have my own ideas of what it was. But I'll tell you one thing. By George, it's about time this town woke up. Woke up to what? To the danger. With this arms plant here, anything might happen. Oh, but Uncle Mord, it was only a very small fire. You don't think it was... I don't say it was, but it could have been... What? Sabotage. I've been expecting something like this. Give me my coat. Where are you going, Uncle Mord? Maybe they'll listen to me. Give me my hat. Here, what are you going to do, Uncle Mord? Give me my galoshes. Uncle Mord, you'll be careful. Give me my mittens. Uncle, wait a minute. Hold her. No time. All I can say is, it's lucky there's one man in this town who's got his eyes open. Uncle, look out! The slag! Sabotage! Hey, Mrs. Grubly, can't stop the talk. I got to see Judge Hooker about the sabotage. Sabotage, Mr. Girdes, please. Yeah, fire in the arms plant just this morning. What else could it be but sabotage? Well, now I wonder. I heard our trolley jump the track on State Street this afternoon. Sabotage, Mrs. Grubly, sabotage. Good evening, Mr. Jackson. Terrible about the sabotage. Isn't it the fire in the arms plant? State Street trolley jump the track? It's everywhere. Well, now I'm beginning to understand what's going on around here. For the last two days, somebody's stolen my morning paper. Sabotage, Jackson. Sabotage. Have you heard about the sabotage, Mrs. Plotnik? Arms plant burned down, trolleys all off the track, and some fiend is stealing newspapers. That's terrible, and have you noticed what a cold winter they're having? Sabotage, Mrs. Plotnik. Sabotage. Gilles, leave. Come in. Wipe your feet first. We haven't got a moment to lose, Judge. Why, what's up? You're in charge of civilian defense here. What are you doing about it? What do you mean? You heard about the fire down at the plant? Yes. Sabotage, Hooker, is sure as I'm standing here. Listen, Gildy, that fire was a plane accident. It was thoroughly investigated by the police. The police? Hooker, this is war. Would you use a bean shooter to sink a battleship? Next, Gildy. Next, there's someone in the parlor. I hear you. I don't care who hears me. The police department in this town is no good, and you know it. Gildy, please. Well, he couldn't find a spy in a bathtub. Gilder, sleep. I'll handle this, Judge. Hello, Chief. Mr. Gilder, sleep. As chief of police in this town, I don't have to take any talk like that from a water commissioner. Just a minute now. Let me explain something to you, Gilder, sleep. The dumb cops in this town aren't so dumb. We're keeping pretty close tabs on what goes on, who goes where, and why. It's nervous guys like you that make trouble for us. I? I'm not nervous. Going around alarming everybody. Who do you think you are? Paul Revere? I've got my hands full now, denying this thing. Denying? I'm sorry, Chief. I thought that that... It's very important now for people to keep calm. And as an influential citizen, you should help them. You're a leader in this town, Mr. Gilder, sleep. Oh. You think so, Chief? Well, I hear you're making addresses now and then. People look up to you for guidance. Well, I try to do what I can. So, at a time like this, you must try to calm people, not get them excited. Calm, huh? It may be a right, Chief. Maybe I had it wrong. Certainly. Well, Judge, I haven't got a moment to lose. Where are you going? I'm going out and calm people. So long. This came over, and kidnapped. Yeah. Leroy, go and get Bertie, will you? Tell her Mrs. Ransom is spending the night with us. But what? Dairy. I just don't want you staying over there in that house all alone. That's all. Leroy, don't stand there staring. I told you to go get Bertie. What? And don't whistle. You want to scare the life out of people? What's that? What's that? Nothing happened. Bertie, be calm. Everybody be calm. Mrs. Ransom is spending the night with us, Bertie. You think we can find a place for her? Oh, well, sure. I'll put in room. I'll put in room. Oh, well, sure. I'll put in room with Mrs. Marjorie. That's all right. Well, I hope I won't be too much trouble to y'all. No trouble. I'll go right up and make the other bed. So it'll be all ready. Leroy, why don't you go up and help Bertie make the bed? Oh, I don't need no help. Yes, oh. Well, come on in the living room, Leroy. Yeah, come on in. Make yourself at home. I'll be the host here, Leroy. Have you done your homework? Yep. I did it all this afternoon. Well, it's time for you to go upstairs and take a bath. When I took a bath, huh? When? Yesterday. I thought so. Go right upstairs. What on? Don't argue with me. You're filthy. I want you to take a bath. You're going to be wanting to just say so. I can take a hint. He's so cute. Yeah. Now, Throckmorton, what are you being so mysterious about? Leela, I want you to be calm. You mustn't be alarmed. Well, don't be. Whatever happens, don't worry. Because nothing is going to happen. Hold my hand. Remember, I'm always near you, Leela. Day or night, I can be at your side in five minutes. Four minutes. So be calm. Throckmorton, you're hard on something. Don't get excited, honey. There was a little trouble down at the arms plant today. Nothing much, but it looked like sabotage. There, there now. Feel better? So much. Tell me, what is sabotage? Well, perhaps it's better that you don't know. But where there's sabotage, there's usually a saboteur. Leroy, I told you to go up and take a bath. I was just going on. That darn kid, saboo. I've got to do something about him. Let's see. Where were we now? You were over here, remember? Oh, yes. Go on. Tell me all about whatever it was. Yes. What was I going to say? Funny, it's gone completely out of my mind now. Well, tell me about something else then. I love it when you tell me about things. Yes, you do. Yes, I love you when you get serious. Leela, seriously? Yes, Throckmorton. We've been engaged quite a while now. Three whole weeks? Leela, tell me, do you believe in long engagements? Excuse me. Telephone. We'll be right back. Throckmorton, P. Gillersleeve. Mr. Gillersleeve, Charlie Anderson out the waterworks. Oh, hello, Uncle Charlie. How's everything out there? Everything's fixed. Oh, my goodness. No water, eh? Well, how long will that take? You tell me. All right, Charlie. Keep your shirt on. What do you need? I need to sniff them. All right. What's the nearest place we can get as one of those things? I'll go myself if I have to. Well, you might be able to pick one up over the Grafton. Honey, hold some plump. I'll run right over it. What is it you want now? Sniffs. Sniff their valve, huh? OK. And Charlie? Yes. Don't say a word about this to anybody that I've had a chance to investigate it. It may be sabotage. How's that? It may be sabotage. May be what? Dirty work. I can't. Leela, something has come up. What? Would you be game to drive over to Grafton with me tonight? Oh, Throckmorton, I'd go anywhere with you. May be midnight before we get there. I don't care. We'll have to get the fellow out of bed. Oh, Throckmorton. Do you think so? Oh, you know, I've always had a secret long into a lope. A lope? I was just going over to Grafton for Sniffer valve. Throckmorton killed a slave. Now, Leela? You deliberately let me off. Leela, I did not. You did too. Well, we'll be with us again in just a few seconds. You know, it's just natural that one of food is particularly good. Lots of people want it. Well, that certainly is the case with margarine, crafts, delicious, nutritious bread for bread. And it explains why sometimes you may find your food dealer is temporarily out of parquet margarine. The fact is, craft is doing everything possible to keep dealers supplied. But so many of you have discovered parquet is delicious goodness, so many of you are asking for parquet these days that well, some dealers just can't keep up with the demand. So it's a good thing to watch your dealer stock by parquet whenever you can. No doubt about it, parquet margarine is well worth waiting for if your dealer doesn't happen to be temporarily out. It's such a delicious bread for bread, so nutritious too, providing food energy and important vitamin A. So always watch for, always ask for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by craft. Let's return now to the great Gilder Sleeve and his one-man crusade to save Summerfield from an unknown enemy. Last night, he drove 30 miles to Grafton for a new part to repair the pump, which may explain why he's little late in arriving at the office this morning. But his new secretary is there and already hard at work. Hello, are you still there, Mabel? Well, so he said, what do you want to do? So I said, I don't know, what do you want to do? So he said, I don't know, what do you want to do? Well, you know, it could have gone on like that all night. So I said, oh, let's go to the movie. So we went to the, oh, I think the big boy's coming. I'll call you back, Mabel. Good morning, Bessie. Good morning, Miss Gilder Sleeve. Any calls? Oh, about a million, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Any complaints? Oh, yes, they're all complaints. Don't be so happy about it. This may be very bad for me, very bad. Oh, they all say there's no water. I know that. It puts me in a very difficult position. Did you tell them what I told you? Yes, sir. There's been a temporary interruption in the service owing to circumstances. Yes, all right, all right. I wrote it. I don't know what it is. No word from Judge Hooker? No, sir. What do you expect here? Yes, I asked him and the chief of police to drop over. I'm holding an investigation of that affair at the waterworks last night. Oh, that reminds me, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Why? I turned on the water at my house this morning and nothing came out. Nothing came out? Oh, hello, Judge. What is it now, Gilder Sleeve? This is a busy morning for me. Yeah, what's this all about? Step into my private office, will you gentlemen? Miss, if you there, Bessie, when Uncle Charlie turns up, send him right in, will you? Your Uncle Charlie. Charlie Anderson, the superintendent at the waterworks, my Uncle Charlie. Uh, cigar, gentlemen. Judge? No, thanks. Chief? Never smoked before lunch. Well, gentlemen, now perhaps you'll listen to me. Last night, I tried to call your attention to an act of sabotage. Gilder Sleeve, are you still harping on that? Chief, I take exception to that word, harp. Listen, instead of telling me how to run my department, why don't you learn how to run your own? I got up this morning and there was no water. Same at my house. I couldn't shave. Couldn't make any coffee. Do you know why there was no water? I suppose you think it was sabotage. It's as plain as a nose on your face. Oh, come in, Uncle Charlie. But, Gildy, what makes you think that? I'm not asking you to take my word for it. Ask Charlie Anderson here. Charlie was there when it happened. What's that called, darn it? Yes, Charlie. I want you to tell these two gentlemen in your own words just what happened at the waterworks last night. Why the dead blames me? Wait a minute, wait a minute. We're going to conduct an investigation here. Let's be orderly about it. Your name is Charlie Anderson, is it not? You know Don well it is. I know, I know. Just customary to ask. Where do you live? What's the matter with him? He knows where I live. Gull, darling, knows as well as I do. Yes, I know. That's for the record, Charlie. Now answer the judge's question, please. Gull, darling, I live next to Pink's garage. Right where I've lived for 23 years. Gull, darn it. Perhaps you'd better let me interrogate the witness judge. Charlie, what went wrong out at the pumping station last night? Holy cow, you was out there. You've seen him with your own eyes. I know it, but Charlie's gentlemen. The dead blames this. The valve busted. That's what you want to know? Tell us more about it, Charlie. What sort of a pump do you operate out there? Well, it's a vertical triple expansion crank and flywheel pumping engine with an independent super heater, mechanical stoker. It does about 20 rpm to 175 km. Whoa, whoa. Well, you asked, Gull, darn it. Tell me, Charlie. He first. Please. Yeah, take it easy, Charlie. Now, tell us about this incident to the snifter valve. Now, think carefully before you answer this. Do you think it might have been sabotage? Sabotage, my eye. That valve was living on borrowed time. I told him, by the hand, I told him two years ago when he was commissioner, she was going to blow. I told him right to her face and, Gull, darn it, she blowed. You're a witness, Gildy. Now, look here, Judge, you got Charlie all confused. Confused? My neck. You stay out of this. You listen to me, Gates. I demand adequate protection out there at that reservoir, and I intend to get it. We can't be guarding every dog, kennel, and fire hydrant in town, Gildersley. We haven't got enough men. If you want your little duck pond guarded, you'll have to guard it yourself. All right, Judge, if the police won't help us, this is a job for civilian defense. It's up to you as head warden to appoint a volunteer guard. All right, Gildy, I'll do that. There's no time to lose. I want you to appoint somebody to stand guard out there tonight. All right, Gildy, I appoint you. Why, Gull, darn it. And don't you let me catch you napping, either. Come on. What's he doing down there, Marjorie? I don't know for sure, but it smells like chemistry. Anything I can do for you? No, thank you, my dear. Oh, wait a minute. Have you seen my shotgun shells anywhere? No, I haven't. I bet Leroy is responsible for that, too. Hi, Aunt, what do you want, Aunt? Where is my helmet? Helmet? What helmet? What helmet? I suppose I've got thousands of helmets. Sure. I've got football helmets, diving helmets, King Arthur helmets. Where is my air raid helmet? Oh, oh, that. Don't get excited, Aunt, because that's my room. What's it there for? Nothing. Nothing? It's keeping a turtle in it. I am not. He died. I'll settle that with you tomorrow. Where are my shotgun shells? I know where they are, Mr. Gildy. In the box with your collar button. There's only one in there. That's all there are, Aunt. Those P-38s came by and you used them. Never mind. Do you remember now? Never mind. There, go get my helmet, please. Okay, Aunt. You ain't going hunting tonight, is you, Mr. Gildy? No, Bertie. This is not duck hunting. A night like tonight is cold enough to shoot a polar bear. Thank you, Leroy. No, Bertie. I'm not hunting polar bears tonight. I'm hunting saboteurs. Oh, boy. Can I go along? No, Leroy. Are you really going to shoot somebody, Mr. Gildy? I hope not, Bertie. But if necessary, don't quiet you. I'm going to guard the reservoir. Oh, gee. Aunt, can I go along? No, my boy. I'll have a man with me to share the responsibility. Who? Well, I don't know yet. Hooker will send somebody out. Suppose you bring down my shotgun. But don't load it, Leroy. I'm going next door for a word with Mrs. Ransom. I thought she was sore at you, Aunt, from last night. Leroy, I don't like the word sore and meaning angry. And Mrs. Ransom is not angry. Go get my shotgun and mind your own business. OK, Aunt. I wonder if she is sore, I mean angry. She can't be. Not when I'm going out to defend the city against saboteurs. Not on a cold night like this. Good evening, Mr. Gildy-Slee. Uh, Leela. I trust you enjoyed a pleasant ride last night looking for a sniffling val. Eh, Leela, I'm going away. I'm going to stand guard duty tonight out at the reservoir. I'm going to carry a gun, Leela. It'll be dangerous. I thought maybe you might have something you wanted to say to a man who was going to risk his neck to defend your water supply. Yes, I have. Good night, Mr. Gildy-Sleeve. Oh! Eleven. Eleven o'clock and all's well at the waterworks. I say it's eleven o'clock. Are you asleep? No, Mr. Gildy-Sleeve. I wish I were. Yes. You might as well be p.d. for the company you've been to me. I'm sorry, Mr. Gildy-Sleeve, but I'm cold. Couldn't we call it a night and go home? No. We have a duty to perform here and we're going to do it. Well, let Mr. Gildy-Sleeve, if you insist. It's kind of lonely out here, isn't it? And cold. All right, it's cold, but it's lonely too. Yes, we couldn't go home. No. No. P.V., when you left your house tonight, did Mrs. P.V. speak to you? Yes. We usually exchange a word or two when either of us is going anywhere. It helps keep things straight. Yes. Lila wasn't speaking to me tonight. Well, Mrs. P.V. and I understand each other pretty well by now, I guess. Tell me, what did she say to you? When? When she left the house. Did she say anything in particular? Well, yes, she did. She told me to be sure and be quiet when I came in. Mr. Gildy-Sleeve, may I ask a question? Oh, certainly. Go ahead, P.V. What are we doing out here? What are we waiting for? Sabotage, P.V., I told you that. But how can anyone sabotage the water when the water is frozen? They could chop a hole in the ice. Yes, I guess they could. Well, they could break into the pump house and do something to the machinery. Yes, I guess they could. Well, they could simply dynamite the whole business and blow the place to bits. And you and me with it. Oh, dear. I don't say they will, P.V., not tonight, anyway. Well, that's good. I don't expect to be here every night. Well, I guess it's time to take another look at the pump house. Yes, it's warm in there. Yes, come on. Shall I bring my gun? For the last time, P.V., we're going to take no chances on your grandfather's muzzleloader. Mr. Gilder, can't I just bring it? Well, all right, if it'll make you any happier. If there's any shooting to be done, my shotgun will take care of it. Remember that. Come on. I really can't remember when I've been so cold. Oh, stop complaining about the cold, P.V. Think of Valley Forage. I've been thinking of it for quite a while. It wouldn't be time to go home yet. No. No. Mr. Gilder, do you hear something? I hear a car. Yeah, that's what I hear, too. I can see lights. They're coming this way. Look, it's stopped down there near the gate. You see it? Yes, I do. It's a saboteur. P.V., it's a lucky thing we came here tonight. I don't know. I wouldn't say that. He's getting out of the car. He's carrying something. Do you think it's a bomb, Mr. Gilder, please? What else could it be? I'll give him a hail. Saboteur, stop where you are. We got you covered. He isn't stopping. Maybe he can't hear us. He'll hear us. I'll fire a shot over his head. That'll stop him. Here goes. Miss Fire, Shell was pretty old. Have you got another? No. Then I'll use grandpa's guns. For goodness' sake, P.V., is it loaded? Oh, yes. Grandpa was always ready for anything. I'd stand back if I were you, Mr. Gilder, please. Don't forget to aim over his head. All right. Oh, my goodness. You hit him. I didn't aim anywhere near him. He's down. Come on. If he's unconscious, we can catch him. Hey, it's a woman, P.V. Strockmonton. Leela, P.V., you shot my fiancé. Oh, no, I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Gilder. Leela, Leela, speak to me. Speak to me, Leela. Are you shot? No, Strockmonton. I reckon I just fainted. Oh, I declare you just about scared the life out of me. Oh, thank goodness. I must say it's a little surprising to have my own fiancé shoot at me after I came all the way out here just to bring you some hot coffee. I didn't shoot at you, Leela. P.V. did the shooting. Well, I didn't know it was coffee, Mrs. Rancher. Leela, what in the world were you thinking of anyway? What are you doing out here? Oh, Strockmonton, I was so ashamed letting you go off like that without even kissing you goodbye. Oh, Leela, you're wonderful. Then you forgive me. Forgive you? The question is, do you forgive me? Oh, yes, Strockmonton. Goodness, how could I resist you in your air raid helmet now? Leela, let's make a vow. Let's make a vow that we'll never let anything come between us again. Not even a sniffling vow. Nothing. Is it a bargain? It's a bargain, but it's not legal, you know, without a seal. The law says you have to seal it with a kiss. You little saboteur. Darling. Mr. Gildersley, would you like a little hot coffee to warm you up? Oh, go home, P.V. Well, folks, I guess I got a little excited there. The chief is right. These amateur spy hunts usually turn out to be a lot of nonsense. But there is one kind of saboteurs that's a constant danger to this country and to all of us, especially our children. And it's something we can all help to fight. That's infantile paralysis. There's a drive-on against it right now, and we can help it along by sending our dimes and dollars to the president of the White House. Remember, war breeds epidemics. Let's not get one started here. Good night, everybody. Ladies, your food dealer is a wonderful product that gives you a grand-tasting macaroni and cheese dish in less time than you'd believe possible. Just seven minutes cooking time to be exact. Kraft dinner is the name. But let me tell you why this Kraft dinner at macaroni and cheese is so quickly prepared. You see, the macaroni in a package of Kraft dinner is a very special kind. It cooks up fluffy and tender in only seven minutes. Then, too, the Kraft dinner package contains an envelope of Kraft grated. You sprinkle Kraft grated on the fluffy macaroni, stirring its cheese goodness through and through. There, your Kraft dinner macaroni and cheese is ready, and what a grand-tasting dish it is. Economical, too. One package serves four, costs just a few cents a serving. Try Kraft dinner soon. And, if you can, buy Kraft dinner early in the week. That will help your dealer with his supply problem. This program reached you from Hollywood. This is the National...