 When you desire one thing over another, or you want to become one type of person but not the other, you may think that's your personal preference. One psychological explanation of human behavior argues that we often have no idea what we want and hence just imitate others. Welcome to Mimetic Theory. Mimetic theory is the idea that there are really only two sides to human desire. Metaphysical desires are our cravings for utility, the intrinsic value of objects. Metaphysical desires are our longing for identity, what objects can say about us. If you are hungry, you may want to eat anything to satisfy a physical need, or you might wish to eat out, in which case you may pick a place that reinforces your self-conception, your identity, and the person you wish to become. In other words, you want to please your metaphysical desire. René Girard, the French philosopher who established the theory, argued that most of our desires are metaphysical and called them mimetic because we mimic them from the people around us. We imitate others because we long for their recognition, hoping that we will eventually become a heightened being that will be remembered, ideally forever. However, since this ideal is so abstract and so hard to achieve, we take shortcuts and make associations with objects and models whom we think have already achieved this status. And so our deepest desires and moral principles are fundamentally anchored by models and the objects, values, and culture associated with them. In school, we want to wear what the cool kids are wearing, and by the same logic, we never ever want to look like the social outcasts. This common longing for and against certain models raises a fundamental question, do we in fact have any autonomy? If we simply want what others want, our decisions are not truly ours, and we are far from being independent in our behavior. Individualism is a formidable lie Girard wrote, and this leads to a problem. The relationship between a subject and an object unfolds through a model, also called a mediator, who desires the same things. Eventually, this can lead to rivalry between subjects and mediators, especially if they start imitating each other. And as both don't like the thought that they cannot have what they want, they look for a victim who they can make responsible. As a result, they unify their imitative desires around the destruction of an agreed upon scapegoat, to the point where that person is singled out, expelled or killed. After the social order is restored and people are happy to have solved their problems, the cycle begins again. What do you think? Was Girard right, and are we all trapped in societies that tell us who we should want to become? Or do we have our own independent desires that go beyond our need for food and shelter? Share your thoughts in the comments below.