 We could win this war. We could win this war? OK, well joining us from Orlando, Florida is the man in that clip, Anthony Dream Johnson, who says he wants to abolish feminism and make women great again. No, but it also says, with a trademark, make women great again for women. Always great. Make women great again. But they're going to do a three-day seminar for women led by all men. In mansplaining news, a three-day conference for women led by men hopes to make women great again. How the 22 convention will make you the greatest you ever. Raise your femininity by 500%. First of all, how is a man supposed to tell a woman how to be the ultimate woman? A woman needs to be taught how to be great again. Oh, yes, we do. How to land a husband. How to lose weight. How to pump out a bunch of kids. Why do men think they need to fix the problems of women? Well, it says the world's ultimate event for women. Yeah, Orlando, Florida, that's going to be the scene of the crime. It's mansplaining palooza. And say no to the toxic, bullying, feminist dogma. Taught by men to make women great again. Taking the stage now is the founder of the 22 convention you're in for a treat, Mr. Anthony Dream Johnson. Anthony Dream Johnson. The first president of the manosphere. It's run by all men, which promises to quote, make women great again. This course is guaranteed to raise your femininity by 500%. Together, we will make women great again. Excuse me, I'm mansplaining here. She said there's nothing wrong. Boom, welcome back to the 22 convention 2021 of Orlando, Florida to make women great again. Being held for its second time ever at 21 Summit, our 15-year anniversary in Orlando, Florida for my company, 21 Studios. Our next speaker is a first-time speaker to the 22 convention stage. And one of the first women to ever take the 22 convention stage to talk to you here, ladies. I'm the excellent, high-quality woman explainer you're going to get. And she's the author of a brand new book you can get now on Amazon, How to Get Hitched and Stay Hitched. And she's the host of the Suzanne Venker show. And she's a coach for women and a lover of men. She's going to teach you how to love men too, even better. Without further ado, please welcome for the first time ever to the 22 convention stage, Suzanne Venker. Welcome. That was great. Thank you. That was great. You're welcome. Thanks. I don't need that, right? No, no, you're good. No, awesome. OK. Thanks, Anthony. Thanks, everyone. So great to be here. Really excited to meet all of you. And I've heard a lot of what you guys have been talking about. And I think you're going to find this right up your alley. So this is the title of my talk. And I think it's kind of self-explanatory. So that's an actual subject line of an actual email that I received in 2012 after Fox News published an article of mine entitled The War on Men. The article remains one of Fox News's most read-off beds in history because I think, this is the reason why, feminists got a hold of it and experienced apoplexy, which in turn made it go viral. My article was a response to a Pew study that had just been released, which claimed that the share of women ages 18 to 34, who say that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things in their lives, had risen 9 percentage points since 1997. While for men, the opposite occurred. The share of men voicing this opinion dropped from 35% to 29%. The part that got feminists riled up was the part where I relayed what men have said about why they're refraining from marriage. I wrote in that piece that men told me that, quote, women aren't women anymore. I mentioned this lovely little email I received because it encapsulates so well the climate we're living in today. It's been almost 10 years since I received it. And the vitriol in this country has only gotten worse, as you all know. Today, I'm no longer focused on writing up ads or on fending off feminist attacks. I'm focused exclusively on helping individuals, women mainly, but men too, navigate marriage and relationships in a culture that is decidedly against them. You've probably heard women in the media, and even women in your own lives ask where all the good men have gone. Even political pundits wonder why marriage is falling away and why men are trailing behind women academically and professionally. In July of last year, Tucker Carlson read a long monologue called The Collapse of the American Family, which highlighted some of the same data that just last week, writer and podcast host, Cigar and Jetty, and I hope I'm saying his name correctly, highlighted in a video entitled American Men in Crisis as Jobs, Income, and Marriage Rates Decline, to which he then asks, what is going on? The answer to that question is obvious, but you'll never hear about it from the media. Whenever the question about men's retreat from society is asked publicly, as it is about every year or so, the response is always framed in terms of economics, always. Not one, sorry, no one so much as hints at, let alone discusses at any length, the pervasive, anti-men, anti-marriage attitudes and beliefs that predate our current economic environment. For decades now, women have been telling men they can do everything themselves. Thank you very much. Women can open their own doors, pay for their own dinner, have indiscriminate sex the way men can, pay their own mortgages, and even race children on their own. Some years ago at a press conference, the actress Jennifer Aniston said women are realizing more and more that, quote, you don't have to fiddle with a man to have that child. Do we honestly believe this hostility and disdain for men has no impact? Men have heard this message loud and clear. We don't need you, it said, and they've responded. As Steve Harvey wrote in act like a lady, think like a man, quote, if you've got your own money, your own car, your own house, a Brinks alarm system, a pistol, and a guard dog, and you're practically shouting from the rooftops that you don't need a man to provide for you or to protect you, we will see no need to keep coming around. What in the world do you need us for if you have all of that? This attitude women carry with them today, even among those who don't consider themselves feminists, is painfully obvious to men. It is also evidence of the insidious nature of a movement that began in the 1960s and over the years has caused untold damage, not just within society sectors, but between women and men in their private relationships. Here's what makes feminism so insidious. The women who have the most power in this country are not everyday women like you and I, who are living quiet and hopefully happy lives. They're a very left leaning, disgruntled bunch who reside first and foremost in our universities. That's where the propaganda really begins. But also in the White House, in the news media, and in the most impressionable space of all, Hollywood. These women, along with their weak-minded male colleagues, routinely and incessantly sell the idea that men are toxic and that women are victims of a society that is set up to make them fail. How can women ever be content in an environment that insists they're victims? How's that possible? And how can men and women find their way to each other under such destructive, cultural conditioning? Just the other day, Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos said about his profession, quote, storytelling has real impact in the real world. Mm-hmm, you think? That impact can be hugely positive and it can be quite negative. And indeed, the messaging that comes out of Hollywood is almost all negative when it comes to the relationship between women and men. Very little, if any pop culture has narratives about love that are uplifting, empowering, are just plain real. And what we see and hear around us is hugely impactful on our thoughts and decision-making. Most people need to be confirmed by the society in which they live. So if the constant drumbeat to which we're exposed is that men, especially fathers, are clueless at best and dangerous at worst, what do you think that's gonna do to women's perception of men? And what do you think we're gonna get from men in return? We're gonna get exactly what we are getting to begin. A widening education gap across the US. The number of men currently enrolled at two and four-year colleges has fallen behind women at record levels. And this imbalance has massive implications for society. Not because there's anything wrong with not having a college degree. In fact, the state of the universities today is such that I personally believe they're gonna fall apart eventually, but that's a different conversation. But because women are predisposed to marry men of equal or higher status. Let me say that again. Women are predisposed to marry men of equal or higher status. Women aren't doing anything wrong in wanting that. It is literally how they're wired. And for good reason, which I'll come back to in a moment. What this means is that if women continue to outpace men on college campuses so dramatically as they currently are, the number of equally college-educated men will be so small that women won't be able to find the kind of man they want to start a family with when they do later on become hell-bent on doing so, which almost all women do. And indeed we learned, sorry, and indeed we just learned that that's exactly what's happening as college-educated women are now choosing to have babies outside of marriage. This is new for this demographic. And while there may be more than one reason for it, at the end of the day, it comes down to women having been encouraged to map out a life that leaves no space for marriage and motherhood. Today, women focus exclusively on education and career and believe they have all the time in the world to get married and start a family. But their bodies have a different plan. Just as women begin to hit their peak at work, their biological clock is winding down. It is at this point that women become laser-focused on having a baby. Only their choices for a husband have dramatically dwindled. This same outcome would be true in any era, but it's especially true in an era in which there are far fewer marriageable men. The pool has shrunk in part because many women are lacking purpose and a plan for their lives. They just aren't motivated. And guess what doesn't motivate a man to action? Telling him he's superfluous, that he doesn't matter. Letting him know that women rule the world now and that I'll have to get in line with her requirements if he wants a seat at the table. It isn't until or unless a woman has a son that she is able to see all of this for what it is. America is clueless about the value of men and what they offer women, children, and society. We scoff at the fact that fatherhood is indispensable for the health and well-being of children. We reject that men's needs and desires and behaviors are any different or should be any different from women's. We insist that it doesn't matter if a woman out earns her man, which not only strips men of their primary identity, but doesn't sit well with women either. In 2007, ah, see, I knew I'd mess it up. Oh my God, okay, is that right? In 2017, Pew Research published a finding that was headlined, Americans see men as the financial providers even as women's contributions grow. 71% of all Americans, men and women, said that a man's earnings are quote unquote very important for him to be a good husband. A mere 25% said the same about women. And that is where the rubber meets the road, right there. Because that isn't economics. That's male and female nature. And it isn't going away. And it isn't going away for one simple reason, because women have babies and men do not. And this has dramatic implications. Not the least of which is that women become vulnerable at this stage of life and in fact do need a man on whom they can depend. Because if a woman marries a man who's not motivated to achieve or to build something on behalf of his family, the biological imperative of mom and baby cannot be met. When this happens, mothers and babies want to be together but can't be. And this phenomenon is wreaking havoc on women who are thrust back into the workforce long before they're ready to be there. And that's when their lives become unmanageable. That's when the real problems begin. This phenomenon is not due to outdated government policies regarding paid leave and childcare, as you will hear at Nauseum and the media. And even if it were, those things are a temporary fix at best. They don't solve the underlying problem. The real problem is that modern women have been encouraged to build lives that do not work in the long term. And that, quite frankly, don't even match what most of them want. Being career focused feels innocuous when a woman is in her 20s. But most women still want to get married and have a family someday. And when they do, their priorities will change dramatically. And if they have not planned well for the season of life, they will find themselves stuck. Had they been encouraged to reverse their priorities from the get-go, to put marriage and family at the center and tailor all other life decisions academically, professionally, and even financially, around that instead, their lives would be functioning more smoothly. We're running around in this country acting as though men and women must live identical lives in order to be deemed equally valuable. It doesn't need to be this way. There's a completely different and much more powerful way to approach the relationship between women and men. To build a relationship that lasts, men and women must take into account their respective biological proclivities. This is true both in dating and in marriage, but it is in marriage where a couple becomes interdependent, which means they depend on each other. It's a team effort that's designed to be complimentary, not a competition. And unfortunately, that's exactly what it has become. Thanks to America's obsession with so-called gender equality, which seeks to strip men and women from their innate differences and make them interchangeable. That's key, that word is key. Not just the same, although it means basically the same thing, but interchangeable. That doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman doing something or that there are no differences between them. But in order to subscribe to this radical worldview, one would have to believe that the work involved in raising helpless newborns to become physically and mentally healthy adults is somehow less valuable than work that produces a paycheck. What's overlooked in this scenario is the fact that women who cut back at work usually temporarily, not always, in order to raise children do get paid for their work at home via their husband's paycheck. We have so butchered marriage and how it's intended to operate that we've convinced an entire generation that unless a woman is bringing home a paycheck of her own, even after she becomes a mother, she's somehow wasting her life, of course, and her education, you hear that a lot, and will become destitute. I have women asking me all the time, how do I convince my husband to agree to my staying home with our baby? That's what this gender wars come to. Women who must now convince their husbands that their own children need their mothers. This fact has always, until recently, been obvious to everyone. So do economics play a role? Absolutely. Because with so many women, Uber focused on their careers instead of rather than in addition to marriage and motherhood. The GDP has ballooned alongside a massive student debt crisis, which in turn undermined marriage and made the one income family largely obsolete. But none of this happened as a result of economics. It happened as a result of women being told to ignore the fact that their bodies produce life and to instead map out lives in the exact same way men map out theirs, as though there are no differences between them at all. But men don't have the same set of circumstances. They can marry young if they want to and still have families, and they do. And this, of course, depletes the pool of marriageable men even more. Now you might ask if I'm returning, I'm sorry, you might ask if I'm arguing for a return to the so-called good old days when women didn't work outside the home. I'm not, actually. I'm arguing for more women to work with the biology they've been given by prioritizing marriage over career. There is a way for a woman to be successful in both the personal and the professional domains, but it doesn't look anything like what the culture teaches. It requires a non-feminist mind, first and foremost, an open mind, really, as well as advanced planning, a willingness to make sacrifices, and a deep understanding of what children need from their mothers. Another important facet of this conversation is the fact that once kids come along, the differences between the sexes become glaring. Anybody who's had children knows this. You've probably heard in the media about what's been dubbed the chore wars. This fictional idea that men are keeping women from achieving work-family balance because they don't pick up the slack at home. I love that one, that's one of my faves. But that just isn't true. Modern men are doing three times as much housework and childcare than their own fathers did. The truth is that women are simply trying to do more than can possibly be done in a 24-hour period. That's why they're so stressed out and guilt-ridden. What we're left with, then, are women who are unhappier than ever. And men who've been shamed into thinking they're flawed by nature and need to change who they are in order to keep up with the times. Neither of these is sustainable. So what's the way forward? We will need to marry the natural social progress that occurs over time. With that, which we know does not change, male and female nature. How do we do this? We begin by imploding the concept of sexual equality. And by learning to, once again, love and respect men and all they have to offer, which is a great deal. This will require courageous women, happy women, women who love their fathers, their brothers, their sons, their husbands. Didn't mean to necessarily put it in that order. To stand up against what Jordan Peterson famously called their crazy, harpy sisters. American men need to feel empowered. And that's the last thing they feel today. That's why so many have retreated from marriage. And now women are retreating too, although for a different reason. Because, and if this isn't the greatest irony known to man, I don't know what is. They can't find a man who's their equal. I shouldn't laugh, but it is funny to me. It's time to face the truth. Women are not better than men. And men are not better than women. Men and women are equal in value, but wild in nature. For any society to survive and to thrive, both sexes must learn to embrace the unique qualities they each bring to the table. Qualities that are designed to work in tandem, not in competition. This is not a small task in the 21st century. And I personally believe it can be done. But it's not hyperbole to say that if we don't do it, we are doomed to end on that lovely, hopefully optimistic slash pessimistic note. I'm not sure. Anyway, this is why I do what I do. That's my website. I've written five books on this subject. I have a podcast, as Anthony mentioned earlier. And I'm a coach who teaches women how to embrace their femininity and how to love and understand men. And you can find me at SuzanneBanker.com. And I'm gonna take as many questions as you like because that's the end for me on that part. Does anybody have any? Hey Suzanne, I have a question for you. You could have this work-life balance. So for women who do choose to have careers and not be stay-at-home moms, because I'm not here you say to be a fulfilled woman, you have to be a stay-at-home mother and you shouldn't have an education. I don't hear you say that. So can you talk a little bit more about when you coach women, how do you do so where they understand the work-life balance? Well, it depends on what phase of life they're in when they're reaching out, right? If they're in the early part and they're still making decisions, then what I'm talking with them about is very similar to what I just said to you which is putting your ultimate family goal in the center and then making all these other decisions with that. Right now women are doing the complete opposite, right? They're focused 150% on career, career, career, career and nobody's even talking about or acknowledging this other aspect of their lives for most of them anyway which will become bigger than anything else they do, right? So they're trying to do it backwards essentially and my argument is to flip that and you'll likely be far more successful because you can switch out your job much more easily than you can just switch out a husband although people try, you don't want to go that route. And plus people end up doing careers and jobs that they didn't even set out to do. How many people do you know who actually do what they majored in in college? Life is just, when it comes to jobs and careers, fluid I guess. But when it comes to building a relationship that lasts and a family, hopefully that stays. So it's really a mindset. If they're later in life and they're calling me and they're overwhelmed, I talk with them about cutting back. So some women will be wondering like why can I not make this work? When I work full time, I have small children at home and my marriage is falling apart. And nobody will say to them this is not sustainable. And it's not because you're a victim. It's not because anybody's against you. It's not because you live in a culture where men in society want to hold you down. That's crap. It just isn't real. It's because you're putting too much on your plate. So cut back your hours. But of course, I mean it's hard to hear but once they get their head around it and realize that there's a lot of shifts that can be made financially even if you're a married woman to accommodate your life and become eventually calmer in the way that your life operates. You just, that's why I said about having an open mind. You have to be able to think so counter culturally to make this work. And that I think is more of the trick than the specifics of the money and the identity and all of that. It's so hard to go against a culture that is pushing you down this path and I'm here, I come along and say go down this path. This path works. But they don't see enough evidence of that and they don't hear people talking about it. And so they just follow the herd. And that's how, that's human, that's human nature. So it requires a real reworking of their lives. I hope that answers your question. I know you guys have more. I appreciate your talk. Thank you so much. Thank you. I actually started a movement about, well I went on a quest for myself in 2015 and did deep workshops about 800 hours worth to uncover and uncouple and discover. Starting with the root of a couple things, my own challenges in the career I was working and my marriage that I was desperately trying to keep. And I think whenever you have a problem, you point finger to sell first. So I just wanna, I'm saying all that to say that when I started my life with my husband, we got engaged earlier than I thought I would and I was very career focused. And I was working 80, 90 hours a week running hotel properties at the age of 22. And I thought, oh my gosh, I mean they're gonna be married to the hotel or married to Noah. That's a good way of putting it, yeah. So I left that career and had a midlife crisis. I thought it was the end of the life. I had a quarter of a century crisis. I think I was further ahead of my life at 24 than I was at 25. So there is conditioning of identity with what you do. And when I chose my next career, I was from a very family oriented family. And I chose a career specifically that I could, at one day when I wanted to have children, I could be at home for the big moments and the little moments. So I designed an at home option. I ended up with an at home option business that grew very big with a dance around the kids. So I would be there when they went to school. I would be there when they came home and that was the dance that we did. With all of that, the missing piece that was, I think is broken on both sides. I didn't understand anything about masculine feminine energy. And so you can be a home mom in complete masculine energy. Absolutely. And you can be a working woman in a lot of flow feminine energy. So the idea of when you understand that you can flow between the masculine feminine and the crave to be cared for by the masculine, I think is under taught. And I wanted to ask you maybe how you teach that. And the second question is on the other side, I showed up after the deep work in a different way, but he had also been societally broken, right? And he didn't know how to stand in the gap for himself anymore in a secure masculine essence. So I would try to fall in defaults and he would go into our own habits of, oh, you know how to handle it, take care of it because I did take the reins. I was first born, he was baby, and I would run the home and. And so uncoupling, I mean, undoing, that takes two efforts, right? But as a woman, we can only bring our part. So what do you teach the women? So you have literally just hit on what I literally do every day with my coaching. That's what it's about. So in 2017, well, the first part of what you said, that's exactly how I mapped out my life. That's how I taught my daughter to map out her life. So people need to hear more from women like you. I'm actually teaching it as well, but it's a new concept, so I'm curious what you do. It is. Okay, so then there's that aspect of what I do, which is teaching women how to map out a life just like you described. But a much larger portion of what I do is what you ended up talking about, which is the male-female dynamics in a marriage. So in 2017, I wrote a book called The Alpha, Female's Guide to Men in Marriage. You can't miss it, it's got a big red heel on the cover. And it's probably my biggest seller thus far. I love the title. It's part memoir, part self-help. I think more on the self-help than the memoir, so don't get some ideas that you're gonna find all kinds of gushy stuff in there. But I do talk about my own parents' marriage, I talk about my own marriage with my husband. And for me, everything you just said is my life. I mapped it out like you did and then I found myself in this space where I have a lot of masculine energy and it was bumping up against my husband's natural masculine energy. And I couldn't figure out, is this me, is this him? Where's the middle ground? So that whole book was really for me initially. Which a lot of writers do that. Well, more to figure it out. Like I was figuring out, as I was writing it, this was back in 2015, 16. And then I thought, well, I might as well help everybody else who, if they're in the same boat, figure it out too. So that's what that book was about and then that's where the coaching came in. I started coaching after that and that's what I do every week in my practice, which is you just said it's a big, it's a tall order to undo it, right? And to get that, it's like a spectrum where you're constantly trying to get in the middle where it works, where it flows easily. And if one of you, if you are a woman who's too much in her masculine energy, you're gonna have conflict. That's the bottom line. You either end up with two people fighting in their masculine or you end up with a pleaser guy because he just wants to make you happy and then you don't wanna have sex with the feminine energy. And so marriages are falling apart over this and that's why I do what I do. And so, yeah, it takes, so you asked about both people. My practice takes on a little different. Like sometimes I work primarily with the wives and then I check in with the husbands and or I'll give the husband a name of a male coach if they prefer that. So that's really ideal when he's working with that. When they're in tandem working, yeah. Right, right. But sometimes it doesn't require, it just depends on the situation and how bad it is or how off-kilter it is, but it is a process. So you start to learn about, here's what speaks to a man. It's not gonna be hard. It's not going to be dismissive. So I have to go through and sort of explain to women what respect looks like to a man. Physically and in tone and those kind of things. Tone is huge and this is personal for me. You know, I don't stand up here like I know how to do this and I was born this way and you should all be like me. It's the opposite. I didn't know it either. And I grew up witnessing this dynamic that never got rectified. So it's personal and I understand, but I'm here to tell you it can be done and you do have to, and it's way better than divorce obviously because that's what's happening with people. They're falling apart and going, I guess we just have to get divorced. And I'm saying, no, there's another way, but it does require a commitment to turning that around. And it is not overnight. Absolutely not. But all you have to do is really want it. You have to be all in. And for some people, if you've gotten to that point where people are contemptuous of each other, then I typically, it doesn't work so well. Let's put it that way. You don't want to get to that point. There was something else I was gonna say about your question. It'll come to me hopefully. So first layer was awareness, but when you teach them to tap into their feminine, what are some of the techniques you teach them? Okay, so, gosh, there's so many. Oh, I know what I was gonna say. Ask me that again. I don't want to lose what I was gonna say a second ago. I just want to make people know, I want to help people know that there is a way to exhibit both energies. And so one of the things I want you to remember about me, if anything, is that I'm arguing, in addition to what I argued before about mapping out your life around marriage and family, the second piece of that is you can be this alpha masculine type in the workplace. Outside of the home, right? Just go all day long. Your man's not there. Who cares? It's flipping a switch when you come in. And this also got people really revved up and angry when I was on Fox News talking about the alpha book in 2017 because the idea that they can't be themselves and who they are all the time, that they have to change for a man, it's not about that. It's about understanding that there's a time and a place for different behaviors and different ways of communicating. Well, if you don't communicate in a cocktail party, the same way you communicate at a funeral, so you're always moving in and out of. And there's a way that it works with a man and a woman that has nothing to do with how you maneuver through a professional space. They don't match at all. And so you have to come home and learn what, and that goes back to your question in a second. What are those things that will draw a man toward you instead of repel him? Soft, nurturing, kind, sweet, naked's good. I mean, affection, affection, affection, affection. Non-sexual affection. It doesn't have to be sexual in nature. Touching, just like warmth, being glad that he's there in your space rather than just going about your business when he walks in the door, admiring him, thanking him, appreciation. Gosh, there are just so many little tools that nobody talks about because it's supposed to be that you're cowtowing to a man to do these things. Meanwhile, you treat your friends or your family members this way, but just not the man, even though it's your husband. So once they are able to absorb this very, very new message and then they kind of go, oh, I've never heard that before, you know? And then they read the stuff and they're like, oh my gosh, give me more, give me more. And then they put it into action and it's so immediate. It is so immediate. It can be, unless they've chosen a partner that doesn't want to meet them there, which can also happen. And I actually have a caveat at the beginning of that book that says, hey, if your guy is abusive, if he's an addict, if he's lost professionally, like if he's got a lot of problems, this probably won't work. These are really just for regular people who are just trying to figure it out. Well, I think it's even deeper than that, Suzanne, what you're doing is like, it's not about being different in the home and the workforce, it's about allowing yourself to express more than one cylinder that women are burning out on the masculine cylinder only. And that's why you, like when you talk to the woman that's feeling burnt out, you have the pain, where's your pain? It's in your uterus, it's in your stomach, you're taking anacids, you have excess stress. So you're physically having repercussions because you're actually being incongruent to who you are instead of really congruent. It's like into a thing, two-year-old with a butterfly in one moment, they're so gentle with a butterfly and then they have a tantrum when the butterfly flies away. We try to box ourselves, but men too, men need to flow not as much into feminine, but they need feminine access and masculine access. And we need more feminine and masculine access, yeah? Agreed, and the idea that a woman, how do I say this, they're confused, for example, this is one of the big issues that I deal with, women who go, go, go, go and work full time in year round, like I was saying, they're taught to map out their lives the same way men do, assuming that their reactions to doing so will be the same, but they're not. They are taxed by living this life. It's not normal, it's not natural. You're not supposed to raise babies, oh yeah, and I'm gonna go over here and be the breadwinner. That's not going to work, of course you're, it's not the way it's supposed to work. And so that's why you're up against all this stress and why your marriage is falling apart. And so nobody wants to talk about this because well, you know why. So they're not recognizing, oh, this isn't normal, even though everyone around me seems like they're doing it, why can't I? They need permission to say, this isn't normal. Stop, stop doing it and see what happens. And then when they go into that energy, like you're saying, and they flow into their more feminine space of I love being at home, I love not having to rush out the door, I look at my children differently or I look at my husband differently or I'm more interested in sex because I'm more relaxed and I'm stressed out. All this stuff, that's where the feminine energy starts to do its magic. Or Suzanne, you said you could also be an alpha in work and come home and just being true to yourself. And I think what I'm appreciating about you is you're giving people permission to be more the one thing. And my movement is called Sheenus. It's embracing the freedom of she and the variety instead of a singularity. Agreed, awesome, thanks. Did you say Sheila? Sheenus. Sheenus, oh, I really got that wrong, sorry. Sheenus. I just have a little bit of a challenge. I don't know if you can be alpha all day in a corporation and then turn a beta. I couldn't. I had my own company. I bought into the zeitgeist of our culture. I really have sort of ruined my life, but I'm fine. I mean, I was able to get married at 43 through the grace of God. I found a non, never been married man. But in order to achieve femininity, I had to turn my back on my alpha career and I sold my business. So do you find that some, I mean, I'm sure some women can do that, but is that really natural for us to be alpha all day and then turn into a queen at five? Yeah, so that's a great question. I think a lot of it depends on how long they've been doing it. So if you're talking about not getting married to your 40s and you're whole, for 45 years or 40 or whatever, it's not that you can't. It's that it's a lot harder. It's doable. It's just harder. It's like trying to lose 100 pounds or something. It's a whole new way of living and breathing and existing in order to make the thing happen. So I guess my gut reaction or answer to that is I'm personally a huge fan of part-time work for women after they become mothers for the rest of their life. Like, to me, I think that's the ideal. And I don't think there's any attention paid to the quality of a woman's life who has stepped out of the workforce and braced that time at home when the kids are little and gone back part-time for the rest of her life in some capacity, but working it around the needs of her family, like someone else mentioned earlier. Sorry, thank you. And as your kids get older, like for example, my husband and I just became empty nesters. And now I've ramped it up, obviously, big time. And so I could never have done what I'm doing now as I stand here before you 20 years ago, 15 years ago, not even 10 years ago. So you have to use your judgment on that. But yeah, so ideally, and I think part-time mother, part-time working mothers, I guess we'll put it that way, are the happiest group that I've seen in my life, which isn't to say that if you don't work at all, you can't be happy, or that if you're working full-time, you can't be happy. I just think that's a really great, great ideal. But yeah, it's not that it's not doable. It's just that it's harder the longer you've been on your own. It's putting on a completely different pair of glasses, and working by a completely different set of, so it just depends on how bad you want it and how bad things are with the marriage. I mean, I have people who are just, I'll do anything. Just tell me. Tell me, I'm so confused, I don't get it. They put this into action that fast. Oh my God, like he, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it's easier for them to keep it up. They're so interested and curious about it that they're able to keep it up. But that's a good point. It's not easy, for sure. It gets easier over time. I wanna know how we can undo what they're doing at the universities and pushing all these gender studies and women's studies courses that diminish womanhood. And I have to say, you know, at my own university, a picture came up that in the, like, 1949, and my mother actually went there. And she was taking a class in nutrition because the school was having, the library was having a whole display on the women, and it showed women's taking nutrition courses as this was stupid. And it turned out it had my mother's picture and I was very happy at it. But with the librarian, the whole implication is when you had women taking these courses, it was the dumbing down in America. It was not because, you know, my mother learned certain things, like not to give us Coke, like all the other kids were had. And when they stopped teaching those nutrition courses, that's when the nutrition got really horrible in the United States, you know? Agreed. How do we undo this? Yeah, so there's just, there's so much, so much that mothers did, that is so misunderstood and ignored. Unless you've done it yourself, you really just don't get it, you know? You have to be there on a daily basis to see what's involved in that work that gets no appreciation. But that's a perfect example of raising healthy, physically healthy kids. Now we have a massive obesity problem. And no one wants to point out the fact that that's because mothers aren't home, making sure they're eating right. Or when they are home, they're not cooking. They're getting convenience foods or they're going out or they're whatever. It happened, the obesity crisis in children happened at the same time women left the home. But nobody wants to make that link because you don't want to blame anybody. How are we gonna solve something if we don't point to how it happened, right? So yeah, what's going on, my answer every time is always the same with questions like that, which is parenting, parents. So for example, about the college, let's just take college for example and what's happening in universities. Yes, it's pervasive, so you might want to check out the college in advance. I mean, there are things you can do. You can go to a small, more conservative college, there's a few of them around and avoid it that way. Or you send them to that stuff, but before it's to the universities, if you're going to for whatever reason, and then prior to their getting there, make sure they're fortified with the right information before they get there. So that at least they've heard the other side before they're walloped with the junk that they're going to be walloped by. And then don't pay for your kid to get a gender studies degree. Hello, who's paying for that? It's not the kid. I would never ever say yes, you can major in women's studies. So here you go, here's some money. So it comes back to the parents every time. That's my feeling about it. There's more to it than that, but those are my first thoughts. I heard a young woman about age 25 and said she was so excited by the course because they talk about female niches and stuff like this. This is what they're getting. Yeah, but they can't get it without your money. Yeah, that's true. The universities are lost without parents' wallets. That's why I said in my talk here that I think in time, we're going to see a lot of changes with college. I don't have any proof of that. That's just my feeling. Hi, Suzanne. Hello. I came across a tweet a couple of weeks ago and it got a lot of traction. It was from a woman who describes herself as a chartered psychologist and a radical feminist. And I thought that her tweet was disconnected from the culture, but I wanted to read it to you and see what your thoughts are. She said, I think all girls should be given the strong counter narrative from as early age as possible that they do not have to ever have children or get married and that their lives can be just for them. This is totally missing at present. Might build some stuff around it. And you said that's a psychologist? She said she's a psychologist. Well, don't go to her. Don't go to her. Hello, that is what's happening. Women, girls have that message now. You don't need to create a new message, it's there. Obviously, I disagree wholeheartedly. My position is the complete opposite. And if you do send that message, which we already are, you know we have a birth rate that's declining. This was recent, this news, this just this year. So we don't need to worry about her, whatever. That's just crazy. Was that your question? What do I think of it? Yeah. Yeah. Was I clear? Hey, Suzanne, how are you? Good, how are you? All this world. I have noticed that women were not created to lead. They were created to follow. It's not even their nature to lead. But yet we have a bunch of women out there trying to lead. The responsibility of a woman is to follow and obey her husband. And a lot of women are being educated. And I've noticed that women who are educated do not make for good wives or good mothers. How do you get women to come back to their natural state of being and overcoming the idea that they're equal to men? Well, I think that's what my work is doing and what I've been doing is trying to implode this idea of sexual equality and highlight the massive differences between the sexes and that that's really where the magic lies in that balance and that complementary role. It's a tall order. I mean, it's me against the culture, right? Maybe a few of us against the culture. It's much easier to do, this is what I have found, it's much easier to relay this message when they've tried it out and seen that it's not working. And then I make the connection as to why it's not working for them because they genuinely, genuinely, excuse me, don't see it. It's not like, I mean, you see out in the media, the women I could do, I don't need no man and I can do, like the Jennifer Anderson comment or whatever, that's not the average person. That's those crazies. But the everyday women are absorbing it and they don't realize until someone points out what they're missing and that they have this femininity lying dormant inside them and they just have to tap into it. And when someone shows them how to do it and they see the result, then their brain starts to go haywire. Oh my God, they start thinking about their parents' marriage. They start thinking about their friends and why their relationship isn't working. And then they try on another skill and they see it works and they're like, oh my God, why didn't anybody tell me this? I'm 35 years old or whatever. And so that's what I've experienced is that it just takes them sort of desperate for something new before they're really able to ingest it. So for men who want to start a family, since it was a mistake to educate women, is it best that they not learn? Well, I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. You don't agree with what? No, it's a mistake to educate women. I'm not gonna agree with that. But women who've been educated, they have big egos in their mind and they think that they're equal to a man. So my question- I don't think they're equal to a man because they have a degree per se. But I can see how you make the connection that they go together. And so my question is, men who want to get married and start a family, would you recommend that they not marry an educated woman knowing that she would never make for a good wife and a good mother? Okay, let me state this little more clearly. I do not agree with that at all. But I will tell you what I would tell a man who wants to start a family with a woman, make sure she does not have a feminist mind. Make sure she wants to be a mother if that's what you want. Assuming you want children together. Make sure she's family focused and that she's making career choices, putting family first. Make sure you don't marry anybody who talks the way you said women talk, which I agree with you they do, as though they don't need a man and they're better than or equal to or whatever. But I'm not gonna make the leap that you shouldn't get an education. That's just silly. One last thing about the mindset. I've noticed that women have illogical minds that they go about what they think and how they feel, which always turns out wrong. And so when you marry- Did you say it always turns out wrong? Right. And so when you marry a woman that's educated, you got double trouble, right? It's hard enough with a woman that's not educated because of her mindset. And the man has to help her overcome that illogical mindset. Are you married? No. Why didn't you ask me that? I think it probably speaks for itself. I think that you asked me because men can't handle their wives who are educated and with the illogical mindset. And so- No, I'm saying that I don't think a lot of women would marry you. Right, because of their ego. No, because of the- Well, I have a whole truck- Because of your views. You're entitled to them, but that doesn't matter- No, but I have a whole truckload of women who wouldn't marry me because they know that I have to manage to show women how to overcome the illogical mindset because women are looking for logical men, right? So there are a truckload of women that want to marry me. I just don't want to be married. Okay. Amazing. Isn't that right? I'll take your word for it. Thank you. Yeah. You know, my mother married at 19. She never worked a day in her life. She was a feminist before it was even a word. I mean, raised, you don't really need- And even though they were married, I was raised by the first feminists from the 1950s and 60s. So it's not a matter of education as much. I think you can get polluted and unduly influenced, but you don't have to. And really, it doesn't matter about education or not, or you have to assess a woman's heart. And my mother raised five Amazon crazed females who woke up and panicked and crawled our way back to what was important. And like I said, my mother never worked a day in her life. Well, she did, just at home. Yes. But yeah, but I think that's a good point about men though. I still think the question about, because I do get that a lot, like how can I sort of vet a woman, which I think was the other gentleman's question? And you don't vet them as to whether or not they're educated. You vet them based on what their priorities are. You vet them based on what their goals are and you want to align your goals with her. So if she's talking a lot of that, if what's coming out of her mouth is all equality stuff, she's not your gal. And not enough men are doing that. They don't, well, I'm sure the men here are, but men in general, I don't think are, so they're certainly not taught to do that. So they don't really know. I mean, you have the quiet men who will pick up on that when they're dating and then step back. And then you have the ones that just feel like, well, what I'm hearing is that all women are like this, so it's either be alone or be with one of them, so to speak. But... So you're actually saying equal with different... Right, that's my tagline for my show. This is the Anne Venker show. No, we're not equal. No, well, I mean, you'll probably find me, you'll probably find articles I've written where I've said that and tried to explain that what I mean by equal is the same. Like equal as in the same, no. Which is why I came up with the tagline for the Suzanne Venker show that says, men and women are equal in value, but wildly different by nature. That's how I open my show every time, because I don't know how else to say it. And I thought that summed it up pretty good. Suzanne. Yeah. I'm broken, so I had to get somebody to give me the microphone. We follow your show, we listen to it religiously. Thank you. And get a lot out of it and thank you for everything you say. And I agree. Men and women aren't equal in value, but we bring different things to the table. I have a degree. No, no, didn't use it in business very long, because as soon as I got pregnant, I left business. I did start my own business and I've done other things, but I worked from home and worked around. I did what you said to do, not knowing that I needed to say I made a map. Not knowing that you needed to what? Say I made a map of my life, but really I did, that's what I did. But a woman who works at being a homemaker works hard. She's got to know business. She has to know nutrition. She has to know economics. If she homeschools her children, she has to know education. And I must have done a pretty good job at homeschooling my children at a time when it wasn't a popular thing to do. Almost no one was doing it when I was doing it. I just celebrated my 50th wedding anniversary, so it's been a while. And I had to learn how to be a good teacher and to bring, I'm not a chemist. I'm not great at math. Thank God I married a man that was. But my children all, our first child made the highest SAT score that had been made in our county ever when he took the test. They found out he was a homeschooler and so the next child wasn't allowed to take the test in the county. We had to go to a college. So all of my children got in college, so I must have done a pretty good job. And you have to know, you have to be educated if you're going to educate. You have to be educated if you're going to run a household economically because a woman can throw more out the back door in a tablespoon than a man can shovel in front. I mean, obviously that's what's been lost in the whole realigning of our values in this country is what actually, I mentioned it before, what goes in to raising a helpless baby to become a physically and emotionally healthy. And I wanna focus on the emotional health. A lot of people talk about how successful their kids are if they were home with them or even homeschooled in terms of the professional, the academic side, and that's great. But there's just a huge piece missing of the emotional development of children which right now is the worst it's ever been in the history of this country. And nobody talks about that. There are very, I shouldn't say nobody, very few people do. In fact, this will be a shout out from my friend, Erica Komisar, who I've had on my program three or four times because she is the go-to person for anything parenting in terms of resilient children, the importance of the early years and what goes on during those days at home. She's awesome. So it's really the emotional development of our children that is at risk right now. I'm much more concerned about that than I am where they went to school or what the degree is. And that's all great. That's fine. But yeah, much, much more concerned about the emotional side. Emotions. I mean, everything from just general insecurities and attachment issues to more deeper issues of mental health. That's what I mean. But the attachment issue is huge. Just a group of kids who have never bonded with a singular primary caregiver, preferably the mother. And this stays with them for life. And nobody wants to talk about that. You're gonna carry that in with you to your later relationships and you're gonna have difficulty in your marriage if you did not have somebody who stopped everything and focused on you. And you're gonna come at parenting differently from the way he or she did. And it's problematic. You're back. Yeah, about the emotional thing, it's very interesting. I noticed that when I was growing up because my parents were there, my grandfather and grandmother were married, boys and girls did not grow up as in this emotional condition, right? They were more logical, common sense, sound mind. And boys, especially boys, they were not emotional. They had the right kind of love, the perfect love. But then, when, especially in the black community, when the men left the home with the government influence and the woman took over, I noticed that the men and the women became, the boys and the girl became very emotional like a woman overreacting, upset, trying to control things. And now the black community is out of control emotionally. The boys are as bad as the girls. So my question is, would it be better if men and women get married and the man can guide his wife in the way to raise his children, to stand between the mother and the children so that they don't pass that emotional crap on to the children and the boys and the girl? Because we all know that women don't have love. They don't have hate and the love comes from the man. You had me up until that, so I don't even know what to do with that now. You really had me up until that because I actually do agree with you that single motherhood has the problem with that that the dad's not there to pass on the masculinity and the boys are lost and they need a dad. And you had me and then you just lost me. Well, the reason is because of the spiritual order of God and Christ Christ and man, man over woman over woman over children. And God is the man's guy and Satan is the woman's guy, right? And so women have a false feeling of love. It's not the real thing. And men and women used to know that in the good old days. So wouldn't it be best to bring that order back together where the father has gotten the mother and the children in the right way to go? That way they wouldn't be so emotional as the blacks and millennial men, millennial men are like women now. They're emotional, they're just like their mothers because you become like what you hate. And so they have the identity of their mothers. So wouldn't it be best to encourage men and take back that so they can protect their children from the mother, emotional crap? It would be best to encourage people to stay married and to have a father presence and a mother presence in the home for those children. So that the father can protect the children from the mother emotional so. Oh, James, Louise. Oh, sorry. So the father can bring what he brings best to the table and a woman can bring what she brings best to the table and together it's a really powerful team. Well, without a man, a woman can't see the right way to go. I don't know how to continue this conversation. I'm sorry. Okay, thank you. Maybe reframing, you just said, men bring to children something and women bring to children something that's equal. And I agree with that. I think they're both equally valuable. It has been my perception that among the things that we also bring in addition to the bonding, the attachment and the security that women bring that we as men help to develop their sense of individuation, empathy for others and. Control of impulses? Control of impulses which is different than getting lost to emotion. It's a discipline which is very, very different from that. Now, we spoke earlier, I agree completely that evolution has just built us for as men the excess of our productive capacity is to be contributed to women in child rearing because you go through pregnancy and we never will. We won't. Now, just on a societal wide basis though, in my state I see this enormous movement to try and incorporate lessons of empathy. And this is where I wanna frame it around, empathy because it seems that in our society we are losing that ability all over the place from social media to many other things. And there's also some research that says that we as men bring to the table an ability equivalent to yours of course, an equal value, but that we have a gift to help children develop empathy, those things, those three things we just talked about. In weighing this ideal that we strive towards, towards a breadwinner or men take the primary responsibility for provision. Do you see that as being in any way substitutable with educational programs, with schools? And if not, how can we balance a man coming home from work and being able to engage in his children because a lot of times our efforts to bring home the bacon takes us 50 and 60 hours a week away. How do we do that? So education for one, let's talk about, oh so for example, you probably heard or experienced men being bombarded when they come home into going into phase two mode, without having that ability to decompress, like she'll come in and oh, this needs to be done, this needs to be done, throw it. And if you do that, you're gonna get the worst from him all night, because he has to have that ability to zone out for 30 minutes or whatever and really be almost left alone and go to his cave. This is what I have found. And what I help women with who are married. And then gently bring them sort of back into, okay now we're at home and these things need to be done as well or whatever. But it was your question about more like how can men be more involved at home, even though they work? Yeah, how can we men be more involved and how can we work with women and how can you work with us to do this? Because if I'm not wrong, a woman who stays home with her children needs her own damn decompression time when a man comes through the door. Oh yeah, that's what I was gonna say before. Someone talked about how it can be the case. I don't wanna give the impression that if you're not employed as a mother, that you're not gonna also struggle with moving into the other phase of being in charge to going into being, to letting go and going into phase two or whatever. Because raising children is a leadership role, right? You are in charge. So it's just, they sometimes have a harder time even than mothers who are employed. So I didn't wanna, I just wanna, I remember that someone mentioned that and I wanna make that clear. Compromise, gently. You gotta work it out with your spouse about what needs to be done, how it's gonna best be done, who's good, let people, let the person who's good at something do what they're good at without competing with him or her. So I don't like check how many dishes my husband does compared to me. This is a big thing. Like I mentioned the chore wars. There's too much battling about, there's too much tit for tat. It's okay if you end up doing everything on a given day. He might do everything on a different day. And there's no recognition for what those things that he is bringing to the table that if he weren't there you'd have to figure out on your own. And maybe they don't happen every day. Maybe they happen once a week so it doesn't feel as pressing. But there's just a whole different way to approach men in terms of being appreciative and gentle and make them want to come into the fold instead of having to hide in their cave. The cave hiding, it's normal to hide in your cave for 30 minutes when you come home, for example. It's not good to be there all night, obviously. How do you get them to come out? Be the kind of woman that he wants to come out for. Would it also be true to say come out with? Yes, with, sure. Yep. And so, and join with as a team. So if he's gonna feel that he has to protect himself from you instead of working with you if there's a lot of this going on, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Instead of the more gentle approach, which is the more feminine approach. Does that answer your question? Yeah, it did. I was trying to tie some of the concepts back together. Oh, sorry if I didn't do that. No, you did. Okay. Oh, good, okay. Am I wrong? I mean, it sounds to me like you did. All right, thank you. Sure. Hi Suzanne. I found out about you through Phyllis Schlafly. Yeah. And I actually started watching the series on Netflix. Oh, fair, fair, yeah. I watched the first few episodes and then I saw, you know, it was, doing what we do. It had an agenda, it had an agenda. And then I couldn't watch it anymore. And so I started watching the debates of Phyllis had with, you know, the glorious Steinman and, you know, very, very interesting. I loved it. I watched them over and over again. I send them to my mom. I, then that's how I started getting into, I found out about you and started reading her books and things like that. I think she has a great roadmap for the way she lived her life. You know, she, that she said she took care of her kids and then later on in life was when she pursued her career and her, you know, and she had the opportunity to go to Harvard, I think it was. And she chose not to to be with her children. And so I think she's a wonderful example for women. No, she did go. She went to Radcliffe. Both she and my mother, my mother's her sister, went to Radcliffe. They did. But they, I think what you're referring to is they, When she got married, she said that she stayed home with. So she was, I think she was admitted to Harvard and she chose to go to Radcliffe instead but she would have been one of the first, or the first woman admitted to Harvard. She was, she had a brilliant mind. Yes. Yeah, very smart. My question is, do you think, because I think, you know, do you think that there's a way that maybe, because I particularly have an open mind so I like looking at different views and it doesn't bother me. I don't get bothered by people saying things that are taboo or, you know, strange. And I actually like it and I actually try to find out why. And so that's why I think, do you think that we can, I mean, in school they teach about critical thinking and looking at the different sides, at least when I went to school. They don't anymore. Right. Yeah, they used to. How can we, I'm 26 years old and I don't have Instagram or Snapchat or any of that. I don't like that stuff. But how can we speak to other women, I speak to other women on a one-on-one basis. I don't have any kind of platform or anything like that. And I try to show them these examples like Phyllis and different women and the debates and it just seems like people just aren't interested in, you know, they say that they're interested in education and they're interested, but they're not. And that's why I think some people have such a strong reaction to the education system today because what happened? Right, exactly. It's unbelievable. It is unbelievable. That's why I don't think it's sustainable and I think there's gonna be a huge pushback in the next 10 years about people going to college. Except for, I would love it if people, I mean, you need college doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher, those types of, you have to go obviously. But there's, I think the majority of people aren't going for that, right? They're going for these, I don't know what degrees and not doing anything with them. And then going to debt over it, which is another conversation. Yeah, it's a mess. And then they're basically paying to be indoctrinated, right? And to not learn how to think. Right. And how do we, how can we further, I guess, go against that narrative to speak to our friends, our female friends, that's what I try to do personally and just speak to them on a one-on-one basis. And this, but the ideas are so embedded, like this idea of equality, you know, and we have this issue, well, you know that this idea of equality is actually a communist idea and that's where it comes from. I mean, nobody wants to get to the root. Agreed 100%. Agree, I've seen it, I feel it, I experience it, I know. You're right, you're absolutely right. I want to throw that word away, I don't care about it. I know. I don't want to be equal, I'm not equal. And I don't care about that word, it doesn't even matter. Everybody knows that human life is important, it's valuable, we don't need to play these games, I hear you, I hear you. I mean, I'll go back to what I said before until somebody experiences personally in a way and they're only then, sort of like what I said about having a son, only then does your, right? All these things that are going on about men, now you've got a little boy to protect. So you have to experience something in your marriage, basically with marriage and motherhood, before you're, I think, ready to be really open. That's the unfortunate part. So you don't think there's any way that we can speak to women and try to open their eyes. Parenting, I'll go back to parenting, that's why I always say that, it's how you raise your kids. Because I don't see any other way besides what you're saying, which is suffering. Which is what? Suffering. You mean them suffering? Yeah. Why do you think I do what I do? I mean, that's exactly what pains me and that's why I do what I do, because I don't want you to needlessly suffer for a bunch of lies you've been fed. I get it. I don't know how much you can do from your, you know, I don't know how much I can do from my position. It's hard, it's really hard. One day at a time, one person at a time, one child at a time. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks guys. We can win this war. We can win this war. Okay, well joining us from Orlando, Florida is the man in that clip, Anthony Dream Johnson, who says he wants to abolish feminism and make women great again. No, but it also says with a trademark, make women great again, full women, always great, always great. Make women great again. But they're gonna do a three day seminar for women led by all men. Ha ha ha ha ha. In mansplaining news, a three day conference for women led by men hopes to make women great again. How the 22 convention will make you the greatest you ever. Raise your femininity by 500%. First of all, how is a man supposed to tell a woman how to be the ultimate woman? Women need to be taught how to be great again. Oh, yes, we do. How to land a husband. How to lose weight. How to pump out a bunch of kids. Why do men think they need to fix the problems of women? Well, it says the world's ultimate event for women. Yeah, Orlando, Florida, that's gonna be the scene of the crime. It's mansplaining Palooza. And say no to the toxic bullying feminist dogma. Taught by men to make women great again. Taking the stage now is the founder of the 22 convention you're in for a treat, Mr. Anthony Dream Johnson. Anthony Dream Johnson. Anthony Dream Johnson. The first president of the Manosphere. It's run by all men, which promises to quote make women great again. This course is guaranteed to raise your femininity by 500%. Together, we will make women great again. Excuse me, I'm mansplaining her. She said there's nothing wrong.