 Hi guys, so I've been contemplating out making this video for a while because I don't know, I don't know why. This video is probably going to be very rambly and just out of order and that's fine because I just kind of want to speak my mind and speak on some of the things that I've been feeling recently. I've been getting a lot of different hate comments and things on my videos and my posts and you know for the most part I just try to like ignore them and you know that's what everyone says is like why focus on the bad comments when you can focus on the good comments and like who cares what other people will say um but I care I care how people view me how people think of me um I care when people say rude comments to me and um it's kind of just gotten to a point where like sometimes I'm like why am I even putting myself out there when like in return I'm getting all these hate comments and of course like I get a lot of nice comments and those are like so appreciative and I wish I could like just focus on the nice comments but it's so difficult to do because it's just like not human nature when someone like genuinely like hates you or thinks you're terrible it like it gets to you and it gets to me and you know I would be lying to say that like oh I just ignore every rude comment that people comment on my stuff and that's not true whatsoever um basically I feel like I'm making this video for myself just to kind of vent um and maybe maybe there's someone out there that will be inspired to maybe not say something rude on someone else's video or on my videos um but basically you know I just don't get it to be honest there's many videos of others people that I watch that I don't like necessarily what they said or maybe I just don't like maybe what they were wearing I don't know I know that sounds so dumb but like never in my mind do I think I should comment on their video and tell them that what they're wearing is terrible or I should comment on their video and tell them that they're a terrible person and I disagree with them and I disagree with how they're parenting and I disagree with their views on the world and I I've never I've never once thought to comment things like that in someone else's video because what benefit does that give them there's no benefit at all they just if they read that comment it's just gonna leave a bad taste in their mouth and like I just I feel like we can all be better people than that and um so recently like I've had a lot of comments about how people think that I'm just so negative in my videos now and that I'm complaining and that I should stop being a nurse because I seem like I hate my job and all I want to say is you guys see a five-ish minute video of me once a week and there are many more minutes in the week that you don't see of me and to judge someone solely on those five minutes that you see of their lives once a week is just very like shameful and um people are gonna do it and I know people are gonna do it but it's hard especially because I feel like I am such a like loving giving person when I take care of my patients I give so much to them and I'm gonna try like not to get emotional or this because I work so hard at what I do and I love what I do but that doesn't mean that I can't have bad days and I can't have hard days and I've said it from the beginning that I try to make videos that are very raw for you guys that are very like what nursing is really like and I try to be honest I also try to be funny I try to be motivating but I try to be honest and um I'm sorry if certain people don't want to see like honest videos of what nursing truly is truly is like it's not all like fun and games like there's days that are really hard there you're gonna work with people that are terrible nurses you're gonna work with patients that are terrible people you're gonna be yell that spit at punched kit and yet you're still supposed to have this smiling look on your face like everything's okay and then you come home and you're just physically and emotionally exhausted and that's part of the job but you're also gonna have great days you're gonna have days when you come home and you feel so accomplished so wonderful like you know you made a difference in someone's life that day or you saved someone's life that day and like there's no better feeling than that but I have had a lot of hard shifts lately I've had people pass away I've had you know a young patient who was a donor patient who went and I was that nurse caring for that patient their family when um we took that patient back to the OR to donate their organs and um this is a very very young patient someone who shouldn't have died and it happened and that's very emotional and a lot to take home with you and I've also had other hardships where I've had patients try and take pictures of me because they're super paranoid and they're gonna publish this in the world and tell them tell everyone about how bad of a nurse I am when really they're just confused and delirious and I'm really trying to help them and advocate for them but over time especially like if you're working a bunch of shifts in a row or just one shift in a row that's very emotionally draining on you and I try to make videos that reflect upon things that are happening in my shifts that I think could help you guys and give you guys a better picture as to what's really going on in the real nursing world and in my world and if you don't like it I don't care that's fine but just don't say like rude things and it just it just doesn't make sense you know anyways I need to get off my soapbox but you know I I've really truly I do love my job and some days are better than others and I have no plans on leaving the nursing world soon and I know that nurses get burnt out and all the things that I'm doing everything in my world to rejuvenate myself and to get ready for my next shifts because I really truly love being a nurse and I love that I get to share with you guys my journey in nursing things that I've experienced my advice and not all that advice is going to be like oh nursing's so great like I love holding people's hands where they cry I love you know making people feel better I just am so kind and that's great all those things are great but like nursing isn't all like that and um I didn't realize that when I went to to be a nurse which is why I'm sharing it with you guys and uh yeah anyways love each other love I don't know just be respectful and um don't comment mean things on my videos or anyone's videos just you know there's better ways to go about saying things um you know you never know what's going on in someone's life and maybe why they're feeling that way into unless you actually know that person so yeah I'm sorry this video is so rambly but I'm not sorry because I think it was necessary it's necessary for me I think it's necessary for you guys to know like where I'm at and how I feel about these things because they really do bother me so anyways how about everyone if you've made it this far in the video comment down below something amazing or positive or something great that's happening in your life whether it's nursing related non-nursing related or maybe it's just that the sun's out today and you love when you walk outside and it feels cool but then you can also feel that little bit of warmth from the sun because that sounds amazing right now anyways I hope you guys have a great day and thanks for listening and I'll see you in my next video bye