 Why didn't the narcissist hoover you? Hoovering is a manipulation tactic that the narcissist will often use to suck you back into the toxic relationship. It's an attempt to see if a prior target of abuse can be lowered into another cycle of abuse. It's an attempt to see if they can get more supply. The narcissist doesn't return because they love you or care for you. They see you as an object that exists to meet their needs. They will come back if they think they can get more attention and emotional reactions. If they think they can get money or a place to live, they're not coming back because they care about you. It's only if they believe there's a benefit or gain for them to do that. Narcissists are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. They only care about their own feelings and needs. They are constantly in survival mode. They are constantly looking for something to fuel them, regardless of how it affects the person they're dealing with. They will often fuel themselves at other people's expense by using them for attention, money or as an emotional tampon. And if you are a good source of supply, they may return to you. But that really depends on how the relationship ended. There are always going to be reasons why the narcissist didn't hover you. If the relationship ended with you questioning or confronting the narcissist, that is one of the main reasons why they didn't hover you. The narcissist does not want to be around someone who is onto them. They do not want to be around someone who knows what they're about. When you're constantly confronting them, it makes their lives very difficult. They can see that you're waking up and that's a sign for the narcissist to get out of there. It's a sign for them to never return because they already know that knowing in a sane state of mind would deal with them. If they knew what they're trying to do, if they knew what they're about, which is why they have this disguise. They don't take off the mask until you're already trapped and when you do try to confront them, they get very angry. They shift the blame onto you and try to make you feel bad for confronting them. It's a manipulation tactic and it's designed to shut you down. It's designed to take the focus off of them so that they can continue doing what they're doing without being confronted on it. But if you continue confronting them and getting in the way of their agenda, it will pose a problem for them and that is something that they will remember when they leave you. They will remember how you confronted them. They will remember how you kept asking them questions. You made it difficult for them so they will be less likely to return to you. The narcissist is only going to hoover someone if they believe that they are still susceptible to their manipulation. If they believe that they still believe in their false self and the lies and illusions that they try to portray. That is the deciding factor in whether or not they will return to you. They're not going to put themselves in a position where they know that they're going to be rejected. Where they know that they're going to be humiliated. They're not going to put themselves in a position where they know that agenda is going to be more difficult. So if the narcissist doesn't hoover you, you should see it as a good thing. You should take it as a compliment because when the narcissist is looking to hoover someone, they're looking for a fool. They're looking for someone who they can trick and deceive and if they didn't hoover you, that means they don't see you as a fool anymore. That means they know you have woken up and they're not going to want to deal with you anymore. The narcissist only hoovers people who they perceive as being naive. People who they perceive as showing a lack of experience, wisdom and judgment. People who they expect to be easy to take advantage of. They will hoover those people and they will take whatever they can get and then leave on their board. Being a target of a narcissist hoover is not a good thing. It's not something to be proud of. When a narcissist hoovers you, it's because they just see you as a fool. They see you as someone who is naive and they see you as a doormat. They see you as someone who's going to let them do whatever they want and get away with it. So if the narcissist didn't hoover you, you should take that as a compliment. That is something to be proud of because that means that you have won. That means you are too knowledgeable and wise for them to deal with. They're looking for someone who's just got their hand over the goods with no questions asked. Someone who doesn't really value themselves and they know you're just not that person anymore. They know that you've realized your worth. They know that you deserve better. So why would they come back just to make themselves look like fools just so you can remind them of all of the reasons why you deserve so much more? They'd rather settle with someone for less. Someone who doesn't expect so much from them. Someone who will give them what they need without expecting anything in return. But at some point those people will wake up just like you did and then the narcissist will be forced to find someone else. They can only remain around someone while they are still under their spell and if you have woken up, they can't be around you anymore towards the end of the relationship. The narcissist started devaluing you. They went from seeing you as someone who was perfect to being someone who was completely flawed. They no longer valued or appreciated you. They refused to take responsibility for their actions and shifted the blame onto you. They smeared your name and made everyone believe that you were this horrible person even though that was not true. Even though they were just trying to take everyone's focus off of them. They didn't want to be seen as the problem. So they blamed you and they got everyone else to believe that it was your fault. They made it known that you were the bad guy and you didn't treat them right and they thought that doing this was going to be in their best interest. But by doing that they actually ended up shooting themselves in the foot because now they can't come back to you. They can't hoover you even if they wanted to because they know how that's going to look after everything they said about you. Then they would look like the fools because they told everyone that you took advantage of them. They made you look like the bad guy and all narcissists really care about is their image of reputation. All they really care about is how they look to other people and for them to consider returning to you. After they smeared your name they would have to choose you over their false self and that's just something no narcissist is going to do. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description. Coach the Inquiries, you can email me at coach.narxvivert.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.