 practical steps that you can take that I'd like to focus on tonight insha'Allah when it comes to providing our children with a good upbringing and if you are someone who is not yet married don't say to yourself I don't need this topic as a matter of fact I think you needed more than those who are already married and have children and maybe for some of them God forbid the ship is sailed so if you are still not married and young then listen extra carefully the first thing that we must do in order to ensure that we have children who are God fearing God believing law abiding productive spiritual members of society it's a no brainer but it's still very important is that you have to be a good role model for them brothers and sisters you have to be the perfect role model for them not just a good one because the truth of the matter is as we say in this culture the apple doesn't fall far from the tree if you do not practice what you preach then surely you can't expect your children to be good people if you're the kind of person who slacks off when it comes to prayer time how can you expect your children to pray don't you come back to me at the age of 15 when your children have reached the age of 15 and tell me oh what am I what do I do Moulana my child doesn't pray because you yourself never took your prayers seriously that's why the hadith says ma waqara salah you have not respected prayer as much as you should have if you perform will go after the Iran meaning that you need to prepare before the event you need to create a good environment for the children they need to appreciate the importance of Salah lead Salah prayers in your own home if you're not going to go to the local mosque then do so at your own home we have a tradition that says that when it comes time for Salah it is recommended for someone for everyone that is especially the father of the house to recite the event out loud in their home recite the event make sure everyone knows some people have like an alarm clock or something which is good but what is it much better than that and for you to demonstrate your children how seriously you take prayer and worship is for you to recite the event out loud yourself then after a while when they get the hand of it then get your kids to do it get your son get your daughter to recite the event you'll see how such a beautiful value-based upbringing will lead them to be so religious and so devout that if God forbid they see their parents lacking off they'll be the ones pushing them further into these values there is a beautiful hadith which you've all heard but maybe I'll try and address the hadith from the perspective that perhaps you haven't looked at before it's the prophetic hadith that's narrated by not just the Holy Prophet but also the subsequent imams which provides the key ingredients and providing our children with a good upbringing the Prophet says that up until the age of seven leave your child now this might confuse some of us what does it mean to leave the child you may not tell them anything not teach them anything if they don't if they do something wrong we shouldn't admonish them we shouldn't reprimand them we shouldn't do anything and the answer to that brothers and sisters is this up until the age of seven your actions speak much louder than your words talk is cheap it's very easy to say be good respect your mother but if I'm not respecting my mother if I'm not respecting his mother how do I expect him to respect his mother if I'm not being courteous in my speech when it comes to my friends my family when people come over when the guys are having a guy's night out and the son sees me dealing with my friends in a manner that is less than appropriate how can I expect him to be respectful in the home if I'm using language that is inappropriate how can I expect him not to use that kind of language and not to develop a foul mouth your actions speak much louder than your words one instance in fact of hypocrisy of a lie of a foul action or language can completely disrupt the child's upbringing and development now when the prophet says that you shouldn't that you should let them be a truck or leave them for seven years he's not saying that you should abandon them a good example of that is when you plant a seed in the earth when the seed has been planted listen carefully there's not much else that you can do to the seed can you the seed is already in the belly of the earth what you can do and what you must do is that you need to provide it with an environment that's conducive for its development and its positive growth meaning that you water it that you give it sunshine that you put it in the right place that you give it the kind of dirt that has nutrients in it in other words you provide all of the factors the environmental factors that it needs to grow on its own the house has to be pure brothers and sisters this I think I will sum up in this statement what this means is that in the deepest recesses of your mind you have to be a religious person you have to be someone who abides by those good universal divine values brothers and sisters you have to be a religious person you have to believe what you are telling them right they will follow your actions listen to this hadith the prophet says I have a banana come show affection to your children instead of displaying your love and affection through toys and gadgets show it to them physically kiss them hug them right the Holy Prophet used to do that all the time all the time one day there's a man who came to the Prophet and he noticed that the Prophet was really going all out showing love and affection to his son Al Hassan and Hussain so he said to the Prophet why would you do this I buried seven of my daughters while they were still alive with my bare hands this is really strange this is awkward why are you doing all of this in public this is this is a public display of affection that we're not familiar with the Prophet said to him get away from me what do I do with you when you when your heart has been stripped of all mercy you give me that as an example that you killed your own daughters alive you think that's how you can man up man up by being a compassionate father a loving mother make sure that you satisfy their every emotional and sentimental need I say this specifically for our daughters make sure that our girls and our daughters are shown so much love and affection from their parents that they don't follow any random man who 10 15 20 years later shows them the slightest hint of love so they don't fall for any petty individual because they're saturated they're satisfied they have the love of their parents that's filled them and their every iota of their being now now let's go back to the hadith the Prophet says show affection and love to your children then he says and if you ever promise them make sure you fulfill that promise because they think of you almost as they think of their God you know how if you ask your three-year-old or your four-year-old who's the greatest person in the world and they'll say my dad is when in all likelihood their dad is not the greatest person in the world who's the strongest man in the world my dad is who's the best and most beautiful mommy in the world my mommy is so the Prophet says that they see you as their God that's how they look up to you that's how much respect they have for you they see you as their ultimate role model as their hero so if you ever make the slightest mistake that will forever tarnish and blemish their personality in other words you my dear father my respected mother you don't blame society don't blame the media you are the ultimate reason why they succeed or God forbid fail number one be religious practice what you preach number two we don't have a lot of time I'd prepared about seven or eight different points but I don't think we have time to cover them all number two when you are religious then there is a physical manifestation of that religiosity that takes shape in reality let me try and explain that just like every action has an equal and opposite reaction as we read in physics just as every good deed leaves an impact in our lives just like every act of transgression also leaves an impact in our lives and physical reality and I've given a whole series of lectures about this many years ago called the physics of sin you can look them up being a religious person in itself will produce good children so the role model aspect aside it is God himself who intervenes and helps you with the upbringing of your children if you yourself are religious if you yourself uphold those divine universal values let me tell you how in the Quran in Surat Al-Kahf Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala tells the famous story of Prophet Musa A.S. and Prophet Khidr and without getting into details about this incredible eye-opening tale in the Quran two of the incidents that Musa and Khidr go through that confuse the hell out of Musa A.S. involve children right one of them is where Prophet Khidr comes to this wall that's about to collapse and he renovates it he fixes it so Musa says to Khidr why would you do this when the people in this village drove us out and refused to host us and refused to feed us or give us any water why would you provide them with this service ultimately Khidr explains to Musa and this wall belongs to two children who are orphans then he says and their father was a good man so we wanted to preserve this wall because underneath it there is a treasure chest and if the wall had collapsed the treasure would have been exposed so we he says interestingly enough he doesn't say I because he says Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wanted to do to do this there is a divine element in all of this God is moving heaven and earth to compensate a good father for his good deeds he says that we renovated the wall so that the children will grow and once they've matured they can come and find that treasure on their own now here's the amazing part in that story Imam of Sadaq says that the distance in time between that father and these two orphans was 700 years 700 years ago there was a good man who uphold religious upheld religious values did good things gave charity worshipped God served mankind Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is still paying him he's still compensating him 700 years ago when he has two orphans from his lineage who could use the money God sends two of his greatest prophets to ensure that their wealth remains intact