 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, visit www.librivox.org. The Age of Innocence. A novel by Edith Wharton. Red for LibriVox by Brenda Dane. CHAPTER XXXI. Archer had been stunned by old Catherine's news. It was only natural that Madame Olenska should have hastened from Washington in response to her grandmother's summons. But that she should have decided to remain under her roof, especially now that Mrs. Mingott had almost regained her health, was less easy to explain. Archer was sure that Madame Olenska's decision had not been influenced by the change in her financial situation. He knew the exact figure of the small income which her husband had allowed her at their separation. Without the addition of her grandmother's allowance it was hardly enough to live on, in any sense known to the Mingott vocabulary. And now that Madora Manson, who shared her life, had been ruined, such a pittance would barely keep the two women clothed and fed. Yet Archer was convinced that Madame Olenska had not accepted her grandmother's offer from interested motives. She had the heedless generosity and the spasmodic extravagance of persons used to large fortunes and indifferent to money. But she could go without many things which her relations considered indispensable. And Mrs. Lovell Mingott and Mrs. Welland had often been heard to deplore that anyone who had enjoyed the cosmopolitan luxuries of Count Olenska's establishments should care so little about how things were done. Moreover, as Archer knew, several months had passed since her allowance had been cut off. Yet in the interval she had made no effort to regain her grandmother's favour. Therefore, if she had changed her course, it must be for a different reason. He did not have far to seek for that reason. On the way from the ferry she had told him that he and she must remain apart. But she had set it with her head on his breast. He knew that there was no calculated coquetry in her words. She was fighting her fate, as he had fought his, and clinging desperately to her resolve that they should not break faith with the people who trusted them. But during the ten days which had elapsed since her return to New York, she had perhaps guessed from his silence, and from the fact of his making no attempt to see her, that he was meditating, a decisive step. A step from which there was no turning back. At the thought, a sudden fear of her own weakness might have seized her. And she might have felt that, after all, it was better to accept the compromise usual in such cases, and follow the line of least resistance. An hour earlier, when he had rung Mrs. Mingid's bell, Archer had fancied that his path was clear before him. He had meant to have a word alone with Mademolenska, and failing that, to learn from her grandmother on what day, and by which train she was returning to Washington. In that train he intended to join her, and travel with her to Washington, or as much farther as she was willing to go. His own fancy inclined to Japan. At any rate, she would understand at once that, wherever she went, he was going. He meant to leave a note for May that should cut off any other alternative. He had fancied himself not only nerved for this plunge, but eager to take it. Yet his first feeling, on hearing that the course of events was changed, had been one of relief. Now, however, as he walked home from Mrs. Mingid's, he was conscious of a growing distaste for what lay before him. There was nothing unknown, or unfamiliar, in the path he was presumably to tread. But when he had trodden it before, it was as a free man, who was accountable to no one for his actions, and could lend himself with an amused attachment to the game of precautions and prevarications, concealments and compliances that the part required. This procedure was called Protecting a Woman's Honor. And the best fiction, combined with the after-dinner talk of his elders, had long since initiated him into every detail of its code. Now he saw the matter in a new light, and his part in it seemed singularly diminished. It was in fact that which, with a secret fatuity, he had watched Mrs. Thorley Rushworth play towards a fond and unperceiving husband, a smiling, bantering, humoring, watchful and incessant lie. A lie by day, a lie by night, a lie in every touch and every look, a lie in every caress and every quarrel, a lie in every word and in every silence. It was easier, unless dastardly on the whole, for a wife to play such a part towards her husband. A woman's standard of truthfulness was tacitly held to be lower. She was the subject creature, and versed in the arts of the enslaved. Then she could always plead moods and nerves, and the right not to be held too strictly to account. And even in the most straightly societies, the laugh was always against the husband. But in Archer's little world, no one laughed at a wife deceived. And a certain measure of contempt was attached to men who continued their philandering after marriage. In the rotation of crops there was a recognized season for wild oats, but they were not to be sown more than once. Archer had always shared this view. In his heart he thought Leffert's despicable. But to love Ellen Olenska was not to become a man like Leffert's. For the first time Archer found himself face to face with the dread argument of the individual case, Ellen Olenska was like no other woman. He was like no other man. Their situation therefore resembled no one else's, and they were answerable to no tribunal but that of their own judgment. Yes, but in ten minutes more he would be mounting his own doorstep, and there were may, and habit, and honour, and all the old decencies that he and his people had always believed in. At his corner he hesitated and then walked down Fifth Avenue. Ahead of him in the winter night loomed a big, unlit house. As he drew near he thought how often he had seen it blazing with lights, its steps awning and carpeted, and carriages waiting in double line to draw up at the curb stone. It was in the conservatory that stretched its dead black bulk down the side street that he had taken his first kiss from May. It was under the myriad candles of the ballroom that he had seen her appear tall and silver shining as a young Diana. Now the house was as dark as the grave, except for a faint flare of gas in the basement, and a light in one upstairs room where the blind had not been lowered. As Archer reached the corner he saw that the carriage standing at the door was Mrs. Manson Mingitz. What an opportunity for Sillerton Jackson if he should chance to pass. Archer had been greatly moved by old Catherine's account of Madame Olenska's attitude towards Mrs. Beaufort. It made the righteous reprobation of New York seem like a passing by on the other side. But he knew well enough what construction the clubs and drawing rooms would put on Ellen Olenska's visits to her cousin. He paused and looked up at the lighted window. No doubt the two women were sitting together in that room. Beaufort had probably sought consolation elsewhere. There were even rumours that he had left New York with Fanny Ring. But Mrs. Beaufort's attitude made the report seem improbable. Archer had the nocturnal perspective of Fifth Avenue almost to himself. At that hour most people were indoors dressing for dinner and he was secretly glad that Ellen's exit was likely to be unobserved. As the thought passed through his mind the door opened and she came out. And her was a faint light such as might have been carried down the stairs to show her the way. She turned to say a word to someone. Then the door closed and she came down the steps. Ellen, he said in a low voice as she reached the pavement. She stopped with a slight start and just then he saw two young men in a fashionable cut approaching. There was a familiar air about their overcoats and the way their smart silk mufflers were folded over their white ties and he wondered how youths of their quality happened to be dining out so early. Then he remembered that the Reggie Chiverses whose house was a few doors above were taking a large party that evening to see Adelaide Nielsen in Romeo and Juliet and guessed that the two were of the number. They passed under a lamp and he recognized Laurence Lefferts and a young Chivers. A mean desire not to have Madame Olenska seen at the Beaufort's door vanished as he felt the penetrating warmth of her hand. I shall see you now. We shall be together, he broke out, hardly knowing what he said. Oh, she answered Granny has told you. Well, he watched her. He was aware that Lefferts and Chivers, on reaching the farther side of the street corner, had discreetly struck away across Fifth Avenue. It was the kind of masculine solidarity that he himself often practiced. Now he sickened at their connivance. Did she really imagine that he and she could live like this? And if not, what else did she imagine? Tomorrow I must see you. Somewhere where we can be alone, he said in a voice that sounded almost angry to his own ears. She wavered and moved towards the carriage. But I shall be at Granny's. For the present, that is, she added, as if conscious that her change of plans required some explanation. Somewhere where we can be alone, he insisted. She gave a faint laugh that graded on him. In New York, but there are no churches, no monuments. There's the Art Museum, in the park, he explained, as she looked puzzled. At half past two, I shall be at the door. She turned away without answering and got quickly into the carriage. As it drove off, she leaned forward, and he thought she waved her hand in the obscurity. He started after her in a turmoil of contradictory feelings. It seemed to him that he had been speaking not to the woman he loved, but to another, a woman he was indebted to for pleasures already wearied of. It was hateful to find himself the prisoner of this hackneyed vocabulary. She'll come, he said to himself, almost contemptuously, avoiding the popular wolf collection, whose anecdotic canvases filled one of the main galleries of the queer wilderness of cast iron and encaustic tiles known as the Metropolitan Museum. They had wandered down a passage to the room where the Cessnola antiquities mouldered in unvisited loneliness. They had this melancholy retreat to themselves, and seated on the divan enclosing the central steam radiator. They were staring silently at the glass cabinets, mounted in ebonized wood, which contained the recovered fragments of Ilium. It's odd, Madame Olenska said. I never came here before. Oh, well, some day I suppose it will be a great museum. Yes, she assented absently. She stood up and wandered across the room. Archer, remaining seated, watched the light movements of her figure, so girlish, even under its heavy furs, the cleverly planted herring-wing on her fur cap, and the way a dark curl lay like a flattened vine spiral on each cheek above the ear. His mind, as always when they first met, was wholly absorbed in the delicious details that made her herself and no other. Presently he rose and approached the case before which she stood. Its glass shelves were crowded with small, broken objects, hardly recognisable domestic utensils, ornaments and personal trifles made of glass, of clay, of discoloured bronze, and other time-blurred substances. It seems cruel, she said, that after a while nothing matters any more than these little things that used to be necessary and important to forgotten people, and now have to be guessed at under a magnifying glass and labelled use unknown. Yes, but meanwhile—ah, meanwhile— As she stood there in her long seal-skin coat, her hands thrust in a small round muff, her veil drawn down like a transparent mask to the tip of her nose, and the bunch of violets he had brought her, stirring with her quickly taken breath. It seemed incredible that this pure harmony of line and colour should ever suffer the stupid law of change. Meanwhile everything matters, that concerns you, he said. She looked at him thoughtfully, and turned back to the divan. He sat down beside her and waited. But suddenly he heard a step, echoing far off down the empty rooms, and felt the pressure of the minutes. What is it you wanted to tell me? She asked, as if she had received the same warning. What I wanted to tell you, he rejoined. Why, that I believe you came to New York because you were afraid. Afraid? Of my coming to Washington. She looked down at her mouth, and he saw her hands stir in it uneasily. Well? Well, yes, she said. You were afraid, you knew, yes, I knew. Well then, he insisted. Well then, this is better, isn't it? She returned with a long questioning sigh. Better? We shall hurt others less. Isn't it, after all, what you always wanted? To have you hear, you mean, in reach and yet out of reach? To meet you in this way on the sly? It's the very reverse of what I want. I told you the other day what I wanted. She hesitated. And you still think this, worse? A thousand times, he paused. It would be easy to lie to you, but the truth is I think it detestable. Oh, so do I, she cried with a deep breath of relief. He sprang up impatiently. Well then, it's my turn to ask, what is it in God's name that you think better? She hung her head and continued to clasp and unclasp her hands in her mouth. The step drew nearer, and a guardian in a braided cap walked listlessly through the room, like a ghost stalking through an acropolis. They fixed their eyes simultaneously, on the case opposite them. And when the official figure had vanished down a vista of mummies and sarcophagi, the publisher spoke again. What do you think better? Instead of answering, she murmured, I promised Granny to stay with her because it seemed to me that here I should be safer. From me? She bent her head slightly without looking at him. Safer from loving me? Her profile did not stir. And he saw a tear overflow on her lashes, and hang on a mesh of her veil. Safer from doing irreparable harm. Don't let us be like all the others, she protested. What others? I don't profess to be different from my kind. I'm consumed by the same wants and the same longings. She glanced at him with a kind of terror, and he saw a faint colour steel into her cheeks. Shall I, once, come to you, and then go home? She suddenly hazarded in a clear voice. The blood rushed to the young man's forehead. Dearest, he said, without moving. It seemed as if he held his heart in his hands, like a full cup, that the least motion might overbrim. Then her last phrase struck his ear and his face clouded, go home. What do you mean by going home? Home to my husband. And you expect me to say yes to that? She raised her troubled eyes to his. What else is there? I can't stay here and lie to the people who've been good to me. But that's the very reason why I ask you to come away and destroy their lives. When they've helped me to remake mine, Archer sprang to his feet and stood looking down on her in inarticulate despair. It would have been easy to say yes, come, come once. He knew the power she would put in his hands if she consented. There would be no difficulty then in persuading her not to go back to her husband. But something silenced the word on his lips. A sort of passionate honesty in her made it inconceivable that he should try to draw her into that familiar trap. If I were to let her come, he said to himself, I should have to let her go again. And that was not to be imagined. But he saw the shadow of the lashes on her wet cheek and wavered. After all, he began again, we have lives of our own. There's no use attempting the impossible. You're so unprejudiced about some things, so used, as you say, to looking at the gorgon, that I don't know why you're afraid to face our case, to see it as it really is unless you think the sacrifice is not worth making. She stood up also, her lips tightening under a rapid frown. Call it that then. I must go. She said, drawing her little watch from her bosom. She turned away and he followed and caught her by the wrist. Well then, come to me once, he said, his head turning suddenly at the thought of losing her. And for a second or two they looked at each other almost like enemies. When, he insisted, tomorrow? She hesitated. The day after, dearest, he said again, she had disengaged her wrist, but for a moment they continued to hold each other's eyes and he saw that her face, which had grown very pale, was flooded with a deep inner radiance. His heart beat with awe. He felt that he had never before beheld love visible. Oh, I shall be late, good-bye. No, don't come any farther than this, she cried, walking hurriedly away down the long room, as if the reflected radiance in his eyes had frightened her. When she reached the door, she turned for a moment to wave a quick farewell. The carpenter walked home alone. Darkness was falling when he let himself into his house, and he looked about at the familiar objects in the hall, as if he viewed them from the other side of the grave. The parlor maid, hearing his step, ran up the stairs to light the gas on the upper landing. Is Mrs. Archer in? No, sir, Mrs. Archer went out in the carriage after luncheon and hasn't come back. With a sense of relief, he entered the library and flung himself down in his armchair. The parlor maid followed, bringing the student lamp and shaking some coals onto the dying fire. When she left, he continued to sit motionless, his elbows on his knees, his chin on his clasped hands, his eyes fixed on the red grate. He sat there. Without conscious thoughts. Without sense of the lapse of time in a deep and grave amazement that seemed to suspend life rather than quicken it. This was what had to be then. This was what had to be. He kept repeating to himself, as if he hung in the clutch of doom. What he had dreamed of had been so different, that there was a mortal chill in his rapture. The door opened and May came in. I'm dreadfully late. You weren't worried, were you? She asked, laying her hand on his shoulder with one of her rare caresses. He looked up, astonished. Is it late? After seven, I believe you've been asleep, she laughed, and drawing out her hat pins tossed her velvet hat on the sofa. She looked paler than usual, but sparkling with an unwanted animation. I went to see Granny, and just as I was going away Ellen came in from a walk, so I stayed and had a long talk with her. It was ages since we'd had a real talk. She had dropped into her usual arm chair, facing his, and was running her fingers through her rumpled hair. He fancied she expected him to speak. A really good talk, she went on, smiling with what seemed to Archer an unnatural vividness. She was so dear. Just like the old Ellen, I'm afraid I haven't been fair to her lately, I've sometimes thought. Archer stood up and leaned against the mantelpiece, out of the radius of the lamp. Yes, you've thought, he echoed as she paused. Well. Perhaps I haven't judged her fairly. She's so different, at least on the surface. She takes up such odd people. She seems to like to make herself conspicuous. I suppose it's the life she's led in that fast European society. No doubt we seem dreadfully dull to her. But I don't want to judge her unfairly. She paused again, a little breathless with the unwanted length of her speech, and sat with her lips slightly parted and a deep blush on her cheeks. Archer, as he looked at her, was reminded of the glow which had suffused her face in the mission garden at St. Augustine. He became aware of the same obscure effort in her, the same reaching out towards something beyond the usual range of her vision. She hates Ellen, he thought. And she's trying to overcome the feeling and to get me to help her to overcome it. The thought moved him, and for a moment he was on the point of breaking the silence between them and throwing himself on her mercy. You understand, don't you? She went on why the family have sometimes been annoyed. We all did what we could for her at first, but she never seemed to understand. And now this idea of going to see Mrs. Beaufort, of going there in Granny's carriage, I'm afraid she's quite alienated the van der Leudens. Ah, said Archer with an impatient laugh. The open door had closed between them again. It's time to dress. We're dining out, aren't we? He asked, moving from the fire. She rose also, but lingered near the hearth. As he walked past her, she moved forward impulsively, as though to detain him. Their eyes met, and he saw that hers were of the same swimming blue as when he had left her to drive to Jersey City. She flung her arms about his neck and pressed her cheek to his. You haven't kissed me today, she said in a whisper. And he felt her tremble in his arms. CHAPTER 32 At the court of the Tuileries, said Mr. Sillerton Jackson, with his reminiscent smile, such things were pretty openly tolerated. The scene was the van der Leudens' black walnut dining room in Madison Avenue. And the time, the evening after Newland Archer's visit to the museum of art. Mr. and Mrs. van der Leudens had come to town for a few days from Scoitre Cliff, whither they had precipitately fled at the announcement of Beaufort's failure. It had been represented to them that the disarray into which society had been thrown by this deplorable affair made their presence in town more necessary than ever. It was one of the occasions when, as Mrs. Archer put it, they owed it to society, to show themselves at the opera and even to open their own doors. It will never do, my dear Louisa, to let people like Mrs. Lemuel Struthers think they can step into Regina's shoes. It is just at such times that new people push in and get a footing. It was owing to the epidemic of chickenpox in New York the winter Mrs. Struthers first appeared that the married men slipped away to her house while their wives were in the nursery. You and dear Henry Louisa must stand in the breach, as you always have. Mr. and Mrs. van der Leudens could not remain deaf to such a call, and reluctantly, but heroically, they had come to town, unmuffled the house, and sent out invitations for two dinners and an evening reception. On this particular evening they had invited Sillerton Jackson, Mrs. Archer and Newland and his wife, to go with them to the opera, where Faust was being sung for the first time that winter. Nothing was done without ceremony under the van der Leudens roof, and though there were but four guests, the repast had begun at seven, punctually, so that the proper sequence of courses might be served, without haste, before the gentlemen settled down to their cigars. Archer had not seen his wife since the evening before. He had left early for the office where he had plunged into an accumulation of unimportant business. In the afternoon one of the senior partners had made an unexpected call on his time, and he had reached home so late that May had preceded him to the van der Leudens, and sent back the carriage. Now, across the squatter-cliff carnations and the massive plate, she struck him as pale and languid. But her eyes shone, and she talked with exaggerated animation. The subject which had called forth Mr. Sillerton Jackson's favourite allusion had been brought up, Archer fancied not without intention, by their hostess. The Beaufort failure, or rather, the Beaufort attitude since the failure, was still a fruitful theme for the drawing-room moralist, and after it had been thoroughly examined and condemned Mrs. van der Leudens had turned her scrupulous eyes on May Archer. Is it possible, dear, that what I hear is true? I was told your grandmother Minkett's carriage was seen standing at Mrs. Beaufort's door. It was noticeable that she no longer called the offending lady by her Christian name. May's colour rose, and Mrs. Archer put in hastily, if it was, I'm convinced it was there without Mrs. Minkett's knowledge. Oh, you think! Mrs. van der Leudens paused, sighed, and glanced at her husband. I'm afraid, Mr. van der Leudens said, that Madame Olenska's kind heart may have led her into the imprudence of calling on Mrs. Beaufort. Or her taste, for peculiar people, put in Mrs. Archer in a dry tone, while her eyes dwelt innocently on her sons. I'm sorry to think it of Madame Olenska, said Mrs. van der Leudens, and Mrs. Archer murmured, oh, my dear, and after you had her twice at Schoiter Cliff. It was at this point that Mr. Jackson seized the chance to place his favourite allusion. At the twilleries, he repeated, seeing the eyes of the company expectantly turned on him. The standard was excessively lax in some respects, and if you'd asked where Mourney's money came from. Or who paid the debts of some of the court beauties? I hope, dear Sillerton, said Mrs. Archer, you are not suggesting that we should adopt such standards. I never suggest, returned Mr. Jackson imperturbably. But Madame Olenska's foreign bringing up may make her less particular. Ah, the two ladies sighed. Still. To have kept her grandmother's carriage at a defaulter's door. Mr. van der Leudens protested, and Archer guessed that he was remembering and resenting the hampers of carnations he had sent to the little house on 23rd Street. Of course, I've always said that she looks at things quite differently. Mrs. Archer summed up. A flush rose to May's forehead. She looked across the table at her husband, and said, precipitately, I'm sure Ellen meant it kindly. Imprudent people are often kind, said Mrs. Archer, as if the fact were scarcely an extenuation. And Mrs. van der Leudens murmured, if only she had consulted someone. Ah, that she never did, Mrs. Archer rejoined. At this point Mr. van der Leudens glanced at his wife, who bent her head slightly in the direction of Mrs. Archer, and the glimmering trains of the three ladies swept out of the door, while the gentlemen settled down to their cigars. Mr. van der Leudens supplied short ones on opera nights, but they were so good that they made his guests deplore his inexorable punctuality. Archer, after the first act, had detached himself from the party and made his way to the back of the club-box. From there he watched, over various chivers, mingot, and rushworth shoulders, the same scene that he had looked at two years previously, on the night of his first meeting with Ellen Olenska. He hath expected her to appear again in old Mrs. mingot's box. But it had remained empty, and he sat motionless, his eyes fastened on it, till suddenly Madam Nilsen's pure soprano broke into mamma, nomama. Archer turned to the stage, where in the familiar setting of giant roses and pen-wiper pansies the same large blonde victim was succumbing to the same small brown seducer. From the stage his eyes wandered to the point of the horseshoe, where May sat between two older ladies, just as on that former evening she had sat between Mrs. Lovel mingot and her newly arrived foreign cousin. As on that evening she was all in white. And Archer, who had not noticed what she wore, recognized the blue-white satin and old lace of her wedding-dress. It was the custom, in old New York, for brides to appear in this costly garment during the first year or two of marriage. His mother, he knew, kept hers in tissue paper in the hope that Janey might some day wear it, though poor Janey was reaching the age when pearl-grey poplin and no bridesmaids would be thought more appropriate. It struck Archer that May, since their return from Europe, had seldom worn her bridal satin, and the surprise of seeing her in it made him compare her appearance with that of the young girl he had watched with such blissful anticipations two years earlier. Though May's outline was slightly heavier, as her goddess-like build had foretold, her athletic erectness of carriage and the girlish transparency of her expression remained unchanged. But for the slight languor that Archer had lately noticed in her, she would have been the exact image of the girl playing with the bouquet of lilies of the valley on her betrothal evening. The fact seemed an additional appeal to his pity. Such innocence was as moving as the trustful clasp of a child. Then he remembered the passionate generosity latent under that incurious calm. He recalled her glance of understanding when he had urged that their engagement should be announced at the Beaufort Ball. He heard the voice in which she had said in the Mission Garden, I couldn't have my happiness made out of a wrong, a wrong to someone else, and an uncontrollable longing seized him to tell her the truth and throw himself on her generosity and ask for the freedom he had once refused. Newland Archer was a quiet and self-controlled young man. Conformity to the discipline of a small society had become almost his second nature. It was deeply distasteful to him to do anything melodramatic and conspicuous, anything Mr. Vanderleuten would have deprecated and the club box condemned as bad form. But he had become suddenly unconscious of the club box of Mr. Vanderleuten, of all that had so long enclosed him in the warm shelter of habit. He walked along the semi-circular passage at the back of the house and opened the door of Mrs. Vanderleuten's box as if it had been a gate into the unknown. Mama, trailed out the triumphant marguerite, and the occupants of the box looked up in surprise at Archer's entrance. He had already broken one of the rules of his world which forbade the entering of a box during a solo. Nothing between Mr. Vanderleuten and Sillerton Jackson. He leaned over his wife. I've got a beastly headache. Don't tell anyone but come home, won't you? He whispered. May gave him a glance of comprehension, and he saw her whisper to his mother, who nodded sympathetically, and then she murmured an excuse to Mrs. Vanderleuten and rose from her seat just as marguerite fell into Faust's arms. Archer, while he helped her on with her opera-cloak, noticed the exchange of a significant smile between the older ladies. As they drove away, May laid her hand shyly on his. I'm sorry you don't feel well. I'm afraid they've been overworking you at the office. No, it's not that. Do you mind if I open the window? He returned confusedly, letting down the pain on his side. He sat staring out into the street, feeling his wife beside him as a silent, watchful interrogation, and keeping his eyes steadily fixed on the passing houses. At their door she caught her skirt in the step of the carriage and fell against him. Did you hurt yourself? He asked, steadying her with his arm. No, but my poor dress. See how I've torn it, she exclaimed. She bent to gather up a mud-stained breath and followed him up the steps into the hall. The servants had not expected them so early and there was only a glimmer of gas on the upper landing. Archer mounted the stairs, turned up the light, and put a match to the brackets on each side of the library mantelpiece. The curtains were drawn and the warm, friendly aspect of the room smote him, like that of a familiar face met during an unavowable errand. He noticed that his wife was very pale and asked if she should get her some brandy. Oh, no, she exclaimed with a momentary flush as she took off her cloak, but hadn't you better go to bed it once? She added, as she opened a silver box on the table and took out a cigarette. Archer threw down the cigarette and walked to his usual place by the fire. No, my head is not as bad as that, he paused. And there's something I want to say, something important, that I must tell you at once. She had dropped into an armchair and raised her head as he spoke. Yes, dear, she rejoined, so gently, that he wondered at the lack of wonder with which she received this preamble. May, he began, standing a few feet from her chair and looking over at her as if the slight distance between them were an unbridgeable abyss. The sound of his voice echoed uncannily, through the home-like hush, and he repeated, there's something I've got to tell you, about myself. She sat silent, without a movement or a tremor of her lashes. She was still extremely pale, but her face had a curious tranquility of expression that seemed drawn from some secret inner source. Archer checked the conventional phrases of self-accusal that were crowding to his lips. He was determined to put the case baldly, without vain recrimination or excuse. Madame Olenska, he said, but at the name his wife raised her hand as if to silence him. As she did so, the gaslight struck on the gold of her wedding-ring. Oh, why should we talk of Ellen to-night? She asked with a slight pout of impatience. As I ought to have spoken before, her face remained calm. Is it really worth while, dear? I know I've been unfair to her at times. Perhaps we all have. You've understood her no doubt better than we did. You've always been kind to her, but what does it matter? Now it's all over. Archer looked at her blankly. Could it be possible that the sense of unreality in which he felt himself imprisoned had communicated itself to his wife? All over. What do you mean, he asked, in an indistinct stammer? May still looked at him with transparent eyes. Why, since she's going back to Europe so soon, since Granny approves and understands and has arranged to make her independent of her husband, she broke off. And Archer, grasping the corner of the mantelpiece in one convulsed hand, and steadying himself against it, made a vain effort to extend the same control to his reeling thoughts. I supposed, he heard his wife's voice go on, that you had been kept at the office this evening about the business arrangements. It was settled this morning, I believe. She lowered her lashes under his unseeing stare. And another fugitive flush passed over her face. He understood that his own eyes must be unbearable. And turning away rested his elbows on the mantel shelf and covered his face. Something drummed and clanged furiously in his ears he could not tell if it were the blood in his veins or the tick of the clock on the mantel. May sat without moving, or speaking, while the clock slowly measured out. Five minutes. A lump of coal fell forward in the grate. And hearing her rise to push it back, Archer at length turned and faced her. It's impossible, he exclaimed. Impossible? How do you know what you've just told me? I saw Ellen yesterday, I told you I'd seen her at Granny's. It was then that she told you? No, I had a note from her this afternoon. Do you want to see it? He could not find his voice. And she went out of the room and came back almost immediately. I thought you knew, she said simply. She laid a sheet of paper on the table. And Archer put out his hand and took it up. The letter contained only a few lines. I have at last made Granny understand that my visit to her could be no more than a visit. And she has been as kind and generous as ever. She sees now that if I return to Europe I must live by myself, or rather with poor Aunt Madura who is coming with me. I am hurrying back to Washington to pack up and we sail next week. You must be very good to Granny when I'm gone, as good as you've always been to me. Ellen, if any of my friends wish to urge me to change my mind, please tell them it would be utterly useless. Archer read the letter over, two or three times. Then he flung it down and burst out laughing. The sound of his laugh startled him. It recalled Janie's midnight fright when she had caught him rocking with incomprehensible mirth over May's telegram announcing that the date of their marriage had been advanced. Why did she write this? He asked, checking his laugh with a supreme effort. May met the question with her unshaken candor. I suppose because we talked things over yesterday. What things? I told her I was afraid I hadn't been fair to her, hadn't always understood how hard it must have been for her here, alone among so many people who were relations and yet strangers, who felt the right to criticize and yet didn't always know the circumstances. She paused. I knew you'd been the one friend she could always count on and I wanted her to know that you and I were the same in all our feelings. She hesitated as if waiting for him to speak and then added slowly. She understood my wishing to tell her this. I think she understands everything. She went up to Archer and taking one of his cold hands pressed it quickly against her cheek. My head aches too. Good night, dear," she said, and turned to the door, her torn and muddy wedding dress dragging after her across the room, end of Chapter 32. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer visit www.librivox.org. The Age of Innocence, a novel by Edith Wharton. Read for LibriVox by Brenda Dane. Chapter 33 It was, as Mrs. Archer smilingly said to Mrs. Welland, a great event for a young couple to give their first big dinner. The Newland Archers, since they had set up their household, had received a good deal of company in an informal way. Archer was fond of having three or four friends to dine, and may welcomed them with the beaming readiness of which her mother had set her the example in conjugal affairs. Her husband questioned whether, if left to herself, she would ever have asked anyone to the house. But he had long given up trying to disengage her real self from the shape into which tradition and training had molded her. It was expected that well-off couples in New York should do a great deal of informal entertaining, and a Welland, married to an archer, was doubly pledged to the tradition. But a big dinner, with a hired chef and two borrowed footmen, with Roman punch, roses from Henderson's and menus on guilt-edged cards, was a different affair, and not to be lightly undertaken. As Mrs. Archer remarked, the Roman punch made all the difference, not in itself, but by its manifold implications, since it signified either canvas-backs or terrapin, two soups, a hot and a cold sweet, full decotage with short sleeves, and guests of a proportionate importance. It was always an interesting occasion when a young pair launched their first invitations in the third person, and their summons was seldom refused ever by the seasoned and sought-after. Still, it was admittedly a triumph that the van der Leudens, at May's request, should have stayed over in order to be present at her farewell dinner for the Countess Olenska. The two mothers-in-law sat in May's drawing-room on the afternoon of the great day, Mrs. Archer writing out the menus on Tiffany's thickest guilt-edged bristle, while Mrs. Welland superintended the placing of the palms and standard lamps. Archer, arriving late from his office, found them still there. Mrs. Archer had turned her attention to the name cards for the table, and Mrs. Welland was considering the effect of bringing forward the large gilt sofa, so that another corner might be created between the piano and the window. May, they told him, was in the dining-room, inspecting the mound of Jacques Minot roses and maiden-hair in the center of the long table, and the placing of the Maillard bonbons in openwork silver baskets between the candelabra. On the piano stood a large basket of orchids which Mr. van der Leuiden had sent from Scoitre Cliff. Everything was, in short, as it should be, on the approach of so considerable an event. Mrs. Archer ran thoughtfully over the list, checking off each name with her sharp gold pen. Henry van der Leuiden, Louisa, the Lovell Mingates, the Reggie Chiverses, Laurence Lefferts and Gertrude, yes, I suppose May was right to have them, the Selfridge Mary's, Sillerton Jackson, Van Nuland and his wife, how time passes. It seems only yesterday he was your best man, Nuland. And Countess Olenska, yes, I think that's all. Mrs. Welland surveyed her son-in-law affectionately. No one can say, Nuland, that you and May are not giving Ellen a handsome send-off. Oh, well, said Mrs. Archer, I understand May's wanting her cousin to tell people abroad that we're not quite barbarians. I'm sure Ellen will appreciate it. She was to arrive this morning, I believe, it will make a most charming last impression. The evening before sailing is usually so dreary, Mrs. Welland cheerfully continued. Archer turned towards the door and his mother-in-law called to him, do go in and have a peep at the table, and don't let May tire herself too much. But he affected not to hear, and sprang up the stairs to his library. The room looked at him like an alien countenance composed into a polite grimace, and he perceived that it had been ruthlessly tidied and prepared by a judicious distribution of ashtrays and cedarwood boxes for the gentleman to smoke in. Oh, well, he thought, it's not for long. And he went to his dressing room. Ten days had passed since Madame Olenska's departure from New York. During those ten days Archer had had no sign from her. But that conveyed by the return of a key wrapped in tissue paper and sent to his office in a sealed envelope addressed in her hand. This retort to his last appeal might have been interpreted as a classic move in a familiar game. But the young man chose to give it a different meaning. She was still fighting against her fate. But she was going to Europe, and she was not returning to her husband. Nothing therefore was to prevent his following her. And once he had taken the irrevocable step, and had proved to her that it was irrevocable, he believed she would not send him away. This confidence in the future had steadied him to play his part in the present. It had kept him from writing to her, or betraying by any sign or act his misery and mortification. It seemed to him that in the deadly silent game between them the trumps were still in his hands. And he waited. There had been, nevertheless, moments sufficiently difficult to pass, as when Mr. Letter Blair, the day after Madame Olenska's departure, had said for him to go over the details of the trust which Mrs. Manson Mingott wished to create for her granddaughter. For a couple of hours Archer had examined the terms of the deed with his senior, all the while, obscurely feeling that if he had been consulted it was for some reason other than the obvious one of his cousinship, and that the close of the conference would reveal it. Well, the lady can't deny that it's a handsome arrangement, Mr. Letter Blair had summed up, after mumbling over a summary of the settlement. In fact, I'm bound to say she's been treated pretty handsomely all around. All around, Archer echoed with a touch of derision, do you refer to her husband's proposal to give her back her own money? Mr. Letter Blair's bushy eyebrows went up a fraction of an inch. My dear sir, the law is the law. And your wife's cousin was married under the French law. It's to be presumed she knew what that meant. Even if she did, what happened subsequently? But Archer paused. Mr. Letter Blair had laid his pen handle against his big corrugated nose, and was looking down it with the expression assumed by virtuous, elderly gentlemen, when they wish their youngers to understand that virtue is not synonymous with ignorance. My dear sir, I've no wish to extenuate the count's transgressions, but on the other side. I wouldn't put my hand in the fire. Well, but there hadn't been tit for tat with the young champion, Mr. Letter Blair unlocked a drawer, and pushed a folded paper towards Archer. This report the result of discreet inquiries. Then, as Archer made no effort to glance at the paper or to repudiate the suggestion, the lawyer somewhat flatly continued, I don't say it's conclusive, you observe, far from it, but straws show and, on the whole, it's eminently satisfactory for all parties that this dignified solution has been reached. Oh, eminently, Archer ascended, pushing back the paper. And a day or two later, on responding to a summons from Mrs. Manson Mingid, his soul had been more deeply tried. He had found the old lady depressed and quarrelous. You know she's deserted me, she began at once, and without waiting for his reply, oh, don't ask me why. She gave so many reasons that I've forgotten them all. My private belief is that she couldn't face the boredom. At any rate, that's what Augusta and my daughters-in-law think. And I don't know that I altogether blame her. Olenski's a finished scoundrel, but life with him must have been a good deal gayer than it is in Fifth Avenue. Not that the family would admit that. They think Fifth Avenue is heaven with the root of the pay thrown in. And poor Ellen, of course, has no idea of going back to her husband. She held out as firmly as ever against that. So she's to settle down in Paris with that fool Madura. Well, Paris is Paris, and you can keep a carriage there on next to nothing. But she was gay as a bird, and I shall miss her. Two tears, the parched tears of the old, rolled down her puffy cheeks and vanished into the abysses of her bosom. All I ask is, she concluded, that they shouldn't bother me any more. I really must be allowed to digest my gruel. And she twinkled a little wistfully at Archer. It was that evening, on his return home, that May announced her intention of giving a farewell dinner to her cousin. Madame Olenski's name had not been pronounced between them since the night of her flight to Washington. And Archer looked at his wife with surprise. A dinner? Why? He interrogated. Her color rose. What you like, Ellen? I thought you'd be pleased. It's awfully nice, you're putting it in that way, but I really don't see. I mean to do it, Newland, she said, quietly rising and going to her desk. Here are the invitations all written. Mother helped me. She agrees that we ought to. She paused, embarrassed and yet smiling, and Archer suddenly saw before him the embodied image of the family. Oh, all right, he said, staring with unseeing eyes at the list of guests that she had put in his hand. When he entered the drawing room before dinner, May was stooping over the fire and trying to coax the logs to burn in their unaccustomed setting of immaculate tiles. The tall lamps were all lit, and Mr. Van Der Leuiden's orchids had been conspicuously disposed in various receptacles of modern porcelain and knobby silver. Mrs. Newland Archer's drawing room was generally thought a great success. A gilt bamboo jardiniere in which the primulas and scenarios were punctually renewed blocked the access to the bay window, where the old-fashioned would have preferred a bronze reduction of the Venus de Milo. The sofas and armchairs of pale brocade were cleverly grouped about little plush tables, densely covered with silver toys, porcelain animals, and efflorescent photograph frames, and tall, rosy-shaded lamps shot up like tropical flowers among the palms. I don't think Ellen has ever seen this room lighted up, said May, rising flushed from her struggle and sending about her a glance of pardonable pride. The brass tongs which she had propped against the side of the chimney fell with a crash that drowned her husband's answer, and before he could restore them, Mr. and Mrs. Van Der Leuiden were announced. The other guests quickly followed, for it was known that the Van Der Leuiden's liked to dine punctually. The room was nearly full, and Archer was engaged in showing to Mrs. Selfridge Mary a small, highly varnished, verbeck-hoven study of sheep, which Mr. Welland had given May for Christmas when he found Madame Olenska at his side. She was excessively pale, and her pallor made her dark hair seem denser and heavier than ever. Perhaps that, or the fact that she had wound several rows of amber beads about her neck, reminded him suddenly of the little Ellen Mingott he had danced with at children's parties when Madora Manson had first brought her to New York. The amber beads were trying to her complexion, or her dress was perhaps unbecoming. Her face looked lustreless and almost ugly, and he had never loved it as he did at that minute. Their hands met, and he thought he heard her say, Yes, we're sailing to-morrow in the Russia. Then there was an unmeaning noise of opening doors, and after an interval May's voice, Newland, dinner's been announced, won't you please take Ellen in? Madame Olenska put her hand on his arm, and he noticed that the hand was ungloved, and remembered how he had kept his eyes fixed on it. The evening he had sat with her in a little twenty-third street drawing-room. All the beauty that had forsaken her face seemed to have taken refuge in the long, pale fingers and faintly dimpled knuckles on his sleeve, and he said to himself, If it were only to see her hand again, I should have to follow her. It was only at an entertainment ostensibly offered to a foreign visitor that Mrs. Vandaloyden could suffer the demunation of being placed on her hosts left. The fact of Madame Olenska's foreignness could hardly have been more adroitly emphasized than by this farewell tribute, and Mrs. Vandaloyden accepted her displacement with an affability which left no doubt as to her approval. There were certain things that had to be done, and if done at all, done handsomely and thoroughly. And one of these in the Old New York Code was the tribal rally around a kinswoman about to be eliminated from the tribe. There was nothing on earth that the Wellands and Mingids would not have done to proclaim their unalterable affection for the Countess Olenska, now that her passage for Europe was engaged. Mrs. Vandaloyden, at the head of his table, sat marvelling at the silent, untiring activity with which her popularity had been retrieved, grievances against her silenced, her past countenanced, and her present irradiated by the family approval. Mrs. Vandaloyden shone on her with a dim benevolence which was her nearest approach to cordiality. When Mr. Vandaloyden, from his seat at May's right, cast down the table glances plainly intended to justify all the carnations he had sent from Scoitre Cliff, Archer, who seemed to be assisting at the scene in a state of odd imponderability, as if he floated somewhere between chandelier and ceiling, wondered at nothing so much as his own share in the proceedings, as his glance traveled from one placid, well-fed face to another. He saw all the harmless-looking people engaged upon May's canvas-backs as a band of dumb conspirators, and himself and the pale woman on his right as the center of their conspiracy. And then it came over him in a vast flash made up of many broken gleams that to all of them he and Madame Olenska were lovers. Lovers in the extreme sense, peculiar to foreign vocabularies, he guessed himself to have been, for months, the center of countless, silently observing eyes, and patiently listening ears. He understood that by means as yet unknown to him, the separation between himself and the partner of his guilt had been achieved. And that now the whole tribe had rallied about his wife on the tacit assumption that nobody knew anything, or had ever imagined anything, and that the occasion of the entertainment was simply May Archer's natural desire to take an affectionate leave of her friend and cousin. It was the old New York way of taking life without effusion of blood. The way of people who dreaded scandal more than disease, who placed decency above courage, and who considered that nothing was more ill-bred than scenes, except the behavior of those who gave rise to them. As these thoughts succeeded each other in his mind, Archer felt like a prisoner in the center of an armed camp. He looked about the table and guessed at the inexorableness of his captors, from the tone in which, over the asparagus from Florida, they were dealing with Beaufort and his wife. It's to show me, he thought, what would happen to me. And a deathly sense of the superiority of implication and analogy over direct action, and of silence over rash words, closed in on him like the doors of the family vault. He laughed and met Mrs. Vanderleuten's startled eyes. You think it laughable, she said, with a pinched smile. Of course, poor Regina's idea of remaining in New York has its ridiculous side, I suppose. And Archer muttered, of course. At this point, he became conscious that Madame Olenska's other neighbor had been engaged for some time with the lady on his right. At the same moment he saw that May, serenely enthroned between Mr. Vanderleuten and Mr. Selfridge Mary, had cast a quick glance down the table. It was evident that the host and the lady on his right could not sit through the whole meal in silence. He turned to Madame Olenska and her pale smile met him. Oh, do let's see it through, it seemed to say. Did you find the journey tiring? He asked in a voice that surprised him by its naturalness. And she answered that, on the contrary, she had seldom traveled with fewer discomforts. Except, you know, the dreadful heat in the train, she added. And he remarked that she would not suffer from that particular hardship in the country she was going to. I never, he declared with intensity, was more nearly frozen than once in April, in the train between Calais and Paris. She said she did not wonder, but remarked that, after all, one could always carry an extra rug and that every form of travel had its hardships. To which he abruptly returned that he thought them all of no account, compared with the blessedness of getting away. She changed color and he added, his voice suddenly rising in pitch, I mean to do a lot of traveling myself before long. A tremor crossed her face. And leaning over to Reggie Chivers, he cried out, I say, Reggie, what do you say to a trip around the world? Now, next month, I mean, I'm game if you are. At which Mrs. Reggie piped up that she could not think of letting Reggie go till after the Martha Washington ball she was getting up for the blind asylum in Easter week. And her husband placidly observed that by that time he would have to be practicing for the international polo match. But Mr. Selfridge Mary had caught the phrase, round the world, and having once circled the globe in his steam yacht, he seized the opportunity to send down the table several striking items concerning the shallowness of the Mediterranean ports. Though, after all, he added, it didn't matter for when you'd seen Athens and Smyrna and Constantinople, what else was there? And Mrs. Mary said she could never be too grateful to Dr. Bencombe for having made them promise not to go to Naples on account of the fever. But you must have three weeks to do India properly, her husband conceded, anxious to have it understood that he was no frivolous globetrotter. And at this point the ladies went up to the drawing room. In the library, in spite of way to your presences, Lawrence Lefferts predominated. The talk, as usual, had veered around to the Beauforts, and even Mr. Banderloiden and Mr. Selfridge Mary, installed in the honorary armchairs tacitly reserved for them, paused to listen to the younger man's phallipic. Never had Lefferts so abounded, in the sentiments that adorn Christian manhood and exalt the sanctity of the home. Indignation lent him a scathing eloquence, and it was clear that if others had followed his example, and acted as he talked, society would never have been weak enough to perceive a foreign upstart like Beaufort. No, sir. Not even if he'd married a Banderloiden or a Lanning, instead of a Dallas. And what chance would there have been, Lefferts wrathfully questioned, of his marrying into such a family as the Dallases, if he had not already wormed his way into certain houses, as people like Mrs. Lemuel Struthers had managed to worm theirs in his wake? If society chose to open its doors to vulgar women, the harm was not great, though the gain was doubtful. But once it got in the way of tolerating men of obscure origin, and tainted wealth, the end was total disintegration, and at no distant date. If things go on at this pace, Lefferts thundered, looking like a young prophet dressed by pool, and who had not yet been stoned, we shall see our children fighting for invitations to Swindler's houses, and marrying Beaufort's bastards. Oh, I say, dried mild, Reggie Chivers and young Newlin protested, while Mr. Selfridge Mary looked genuinely alarmed, and an expression of pain and disgust settled on Mr. Banderloiden's sensitive face. As he got any, cried Mr. Silerton Jackson, pricking up his ears. And while Lefferts tried to turn the question with a laugh, the old gentleman twittered into Archer's ear, queer those fellows who are always wanting to set things right. The people who have the worst cooks are always telling you they're poisoned when they dine out. But I hear there are pressing reasons for our friend Lawrence's diatribe. Typewriter this time, I understand. The talk swept past Archer like some senseless river running and running, because it did not know enough to stop. He saw, on the faces about him, expressions of interest, amusement, and even mirth. He listened to the younger men's laughter, and to the praise of the Archer Madeira, which Mr. Banderloiden and Mr. Mary were thoughtfully celebrating. Through it all. He was dimly aware of a general attitude of friendliness towards himself, as if the guard of the prisoner he felt himself to be were trying to soften his captivity. And the perception increased, his passionate determination to be free. In the drawing room, where they presently joined the ladies, he met May's triumphant eyes and read in them the conviction that everything had gone off beautifully. She rose from Madame Olenska's side, and immediately Mrs. Banderloiden beckoned for latter to a seat on the gilt sofa where she throned. Mrs. Selfridge Mary bore across the room to join them, and it became clear to Archer that here also a conspiracy of rehabilitation and obliteration was going on. The silent organization, which held his little world together, was determined to put itself on record as never, for a moment, having questioned the propriety of Madame Olenska's conduct or the completeness of Archer's domestic felicity. All these amiable and inexorable persons were resolutely engaged in pretending to each other that they had never heard of, suspected or even conceived possible, the least hint to the contrary. And from this tissue of elaborate mutual dissimulation, Archer once more disengaged the fact that New York believed him to be Madame Olenska's lover. He caught the glitter of victory in his wife's eyes, and for the first time understood that she shared the belief. The discovery roused a laughter of inner devils that reverberated through all his efforts to discuss the Martha Washington ball with Mrs. Reggie Chivers and little Mrs. Newland. And so the evening swept on, running and running like a senseless river that did not know how to stop. At length he saw that Madame Olenska had risen and was saying good-bye. He understood that in a moment she would be gone and tried to remember what he said to her at dinner but he could not recall a single word they had exchanged. She went up to May, the rest of the company making a circle about her as she advanced. The two young women clasped hands, then May bent forward and kissed her cousin. Certainly our hostess is much the handsomer of the two, art she heard Reggie Chivers say in an undertone to young Mrs. Newland. And he remembered Beaufort's coarse sneer at May's ineffectual beauty. A moment later he was in the hall, putting Madame Olenska's cloak about her shoulders. Through all his confusion of mind he had held fast to the resolve to say nothing that might startle or disturb her. Convinced that no power could now turn him from his purpose he had found strength to let events shape themselves as they would. But as he followed Madame Olenska into the hall he thought with a sudden hunger of being for a moment alone with her at the door of her carriage. "'Is your carriage here?' he asked, and at that moment Mrs. Vanderleuten who was being majestically inserted into her sables said gently, we are driving, dear Ellen, home.' Archer's heart gave a jerk, and Madame Olenska, clasping her cloak and fan with one hand, held out the other to him. "'Good-bye,' she said, "'Good-bye. But I shall see you soon in Paris,' he answered aloud. It seemed to him that he had shouted it. Oh,' she murmured, "'if you and May could come.'" Mr. Vanderleuten advanced to give her his arm, and Archer turned to Mrs. Vanderleuten. For a moment, in the billowy darkness inside the big landau, he caught the dim oval of a face, eyes shining steadily. And she was gone. As he went up the steps, he crossed Lawrence Leffert's coming down with his wife. Leffert's caught his host by the sleeve, drawing back to let Gertrude pass. "'I say, old chap, do you mind just letting it be understood that I'm dining with you at the club tomorrow night? Thanks so much, you old brick. Good night!' It did go off beautifully, didn't it? May questioned him from the threshold of the library. Archer roused himself with a start. As soon as the last carriage had driven away, he had come up to the library and shut himself in, with the hope that his wife, who still lingered below, would go straight to her room. But there she stood, pale and drawn, yet radiating the facetious energy of one who has passed beyond fatigue. "'May I come and talk it over?' she asked. "'Of course, if you like, but you must be awfully sleepy. No, I'm not sleepy. I should like to sit with you a little.' "'Very well,' he said, pushing her chair near the fire.' She sat down, and he resumed his seat. But neither spoke for a long time. At length, Archer began abruptly. "'Since you're not tired and want to talk, there's something I must tell you. I tried the other night.' She looked at him quickly. "'Yes, dear, something about yourself. "'About myself.' "'You say you're not tired? Well, I am. Horribly tired. In an instant she was all tender anxiety. Oh, I've seen it coming on, Newland. You've been so wickedly overworked.' "'Perhaps it's that. Anyhow, I want to make a break.' "'A break?' "'To give up the law?' "'To go away, at any rate, at once, on a long trip, ever so far off, away from everything.' He paused, conscious that he had failed in his attempt to speak with the indifference of a man who longs for a change and yet is too weary to welcome it. Do what he would, the cord of eagerness vibrated. Away from everything,' he repeated. "'Ever so far? Where, for instance?' she asked. "'Oh, I don't know, India or Japan.' She stood up. And as he sat with bent head, his chin propped on his hands. He felt her warmly and fragrantly hovering over him. "'As far as that. But I'm afraid you can't, dear,' she said in an unsteady voice. "'Not unless you take me with you.' And then, as he was silent, she went on, in tones so clear and evenly pitched, that each separate syllable tapped, like a little hammer on his brain. That is, if the doctors will let me go. But I'm afraid they won't. For you see, Newland, I've been sure, since this morning, of something I've been so longing and hoping for.' He looked up at her with a sick stare. And she sank down, all due and roses, and hid her face against his knee. "'Oh, my dear,' he said, holding her to him, while his cold hand stroked her hair. There was a long pause, which the inner devils filled with strident laughter. Then May freed herself from his arms and stood up. You didn't guess? Yes, I—no. That is, of course, I hoped. They looked at each other for an instant, and again fell silent. Then, turning his eyes from hers, he asked abruptly, "'Have you told anyone else?' Only Mama and your mother,' she paused, and then added hurriedly, the blood flushing up to her forehead, that is, and Ellen, you know, I told you we'd had a long talk one afternoon, and how dear she was to me. "'Ah,' said Archer, his heart stopping. He felt that his wife was watching him intently. Did you mind my telling her first, Newland?' "'Mind?' "'Why should I?' He made a last effort to collect himself. "'But that was a fortnight ago, wasn't it? I thought you said you weren't sure till to-day. Her colour burned deeper, but she held his gaze. "'No, I wasn't sure then, but I told her I was.' "'And you see? I was right,' she exclaimed. Her blue eyes wet with victory. CHAPTER XXXVIII