 Me too. I was 19 years old and I just returned back from a track and field scholarship in Baltimore and returned to Toronto, Canada. Now for majority of my life I envisioned myself as an athlete. I saw myself going to the Olympics and so when I got back I was like what now? Like who am I? What do I do? What does my life look like? And so because I was in like decent shape from all those years of running and stuff I was like why not try my hand at acting? So I enrolled in an acting class and I really enjoyed it and something cool happened. The instructor came up to me afterwards one day after class and was like I also have an agency and I think that you could do something cool. I'd like to sign you on my roster. I just felt very very vindicated, very chosen. I just felt like wow like finally you know I spent so long being mediocre in track and here I was trying something new and for the first time I was selected as being special or exceptional and so that just felt very affirming to me. The first thing she told me to do was go to a headshot photographer and she was like I want you to go to the best in town. Yes they're expensive, yes they have a long time before you can book with them but it's going to be worth it. So I was like okay so I got all my little pennies together I saved up and I went to this headshot photographer and so when I arrived at their studio there was a female makeup artist and a female assistant and the environment was just really cool and fun. I remember feeling it being very light. I actually thought the photographer was gay so we got to play around a lot. I just felt like a really good time. I enjoyed myself. Everyone feel like they really like the pictures and the headshot photographer afterwards was like hey this was a really good shoot you do really well on camera. I'd like to do a creative session with you and of course I said yes I am new I'm young I'm trying something different and here comes this big-time photographer who's like I think that you've got something special and I'm gonna give it to you for free which let's not forget the fact this session was very pricey for me at the time. So I got really excited and he's like come back next weekend. So I came back the following weekend and when I arrived there was no female assistant there was no female makeup artist it was just me and the photographer. So I'm going through my wardrobe that I brought and then he was like ah these are okay but do you have like any you know lingerie sets that you brought and I was like no I brought you know different underwears and bras for different clothes but I don't really have sets he's like okay well let's try playing it around. So we started taking some photos that I had with a shirt on and jeans and he was like what about if you just took that shirt off just like you and your bra like in more of an athletic picture you know you're in really great shape let's get that shot. So we take some photos of me and just a bra and then he was like what if we just undid your pants it'll be like Calvin Klein kind of like you know an athletic wear shot like an action shot nothing sexual just like just take your pants down a bit so I took that shot and I'm starting to get a very different vibe from the photographer this time around. My eyebrows start to raise my eyes start welling up I'm just starting to feel very trapped and uncomfortable. The photography session just kept progressing long story short I ended up taking photos topless I ended up taking photos with no bottoms on just from behind he had instructed me in one picture when I was in my bra and underwear he took some pictures of from above of me and then he was like put your hand on your torso which I did and then he said we'll just move your fingers down a little lower just put them a little bit underneath your underwear I saw I ended up taking these pictures with my hands in my underwear and it just it wasn't uncomfortable it was very disappointing experience I don't really know how to explain the mix of emotions that I felt I do know that at one point in the session I had said to him like I don't know what these photos are for I don't feel comfortable with them. Huh? You're leaving forever. Which one? The thing? You want the Genspor? It might be on top of the thing. I was like I really don't feel comfortable with these photos I have no idea we're gonna go would you mind if we just didn't and he was like okay well we won't do any more thank you he's like okay we won't do any more topless photos then we're just gonna do some from behind just your butt what's the big deal and I remember feeling like okay that's the least I can do that was my genuine reaction in that moment of like what can I give this person that's gonna allow me not to give the most of myself but still give them something because I feel guilty I feel like I let them down or I mismanaged your expectations or I must have gave off the wrong impression so the least I could do was this for this person rather than just collecting my shit and getting out of there I didn't and I left feeling dirty I left feeling like shit I just felt small and pathetic and I felt like I wasn't ready for this industry and it was just not a pleasant not a pleasant time so I remember waiting for the photos to come back and how it worked back in those times is that you would get all of these print out like these tiny proofs of your photos and then you would have to order larger ones if you wanted them so I waited and then I finally got the call from his assistant to come in to pick up these proofs I picked them up and I remember it was a snowy day and I got outside and I ripped open the package and I looked at them and I just burst into tears I cried because it didn't know what I mean I don't I was looking at these photos and looking into the eyes of someone I didn't recognize and somebody who definitely looked uncomfortable somebody who looks scared who didn't look like themselves who had tears in their eyes the entire time and I just felt angry at the photographer for persisting I felt angry at myself for not resisting and I just felt ashamed I didn't want to think about it anymore I literally cut because again it was like a contact sheet I cut out the photos that made me uncomfortable and I just shredded them up and so I had this like mixed match of some that weren't that bad the ones of me with just my bra and my jeans open as it goes are fine ones that were like more of my face those were fine but any of the ones that were of me you know touching myself or you know I mean any of them I just I don't even I don't I didn't keep them and I got rid of them that day because I would just be terrified if my parents came upon that and saw those and I just didn't want anyone to feel how I felt I didn't say anything because I didn't want my family to feel like they had not protected me or that worse I was too stupid and naive and inept to protect myself I didn't want the photographer to feel uncomfortable or I didn't want to upset him because of his position in the industry and so I did tell my agent she asked about oh how did those creative shoot goes I told her really excitedly that I had gotten this creative extra shoot with this big-time photographer and she was like how did it go and I was like they didn't they didn't go well at all it was really really uncomfortable and she said oh that's a shame that's too bad and that was it but that's probably how we all respond to each other when we hear about these stories in the industry we say oh that's a shame that's too bad and we do nothing about it I remember my best friend had wanted to do modeling and she did a photography shoot again like a photo shoot a test shoot with this photographer who was like a big-time photographer in Miami and something similar happened something worse actually happened he said if you want to be a model you have to be able to pose naked so we have to do some nude shots and then she begrudgingly did those and then he said well you actually have to know how to pose naked with a man on a lot of times on set you're gonna have to know how to do that and so he took off his clothes and took photos with her naked anyways when she told me the story I think my response probably was that's too bad that's a shame my response probably was something similar happened to me and neither one of us did anything about it so probably a few months after that experience I remember meeting somebody in the industry who said oh I was on this photographer's website I saw a photo of you I didn't know that you took those kind of photos and I just saw red I was like what I couldn't even fathom what shot it could have been what it was and I didn't even have the heart to go and look I just got to a computer and I emailed him and I said look these were not consensual these were not what I wanted I consented but it's not what I wanted which is a very confusing combination of things to put together but anybody who's been in that position will understand what I'm saying I didn't feel comfortable I felt pressured I felt manipulated I did not want these images out there please remove and destroy them and he wrote me back like whoa I had no idea you felt that way I'm sorry that you did feel that way I'll take the image down it's not a problem I just you know wish you would have said something at the time I did say something so anyways when this whole Me Too campaign came about and I heard of the stories of the women who've experienced you know the Harvey Weinstein allegations of course then other people have just come for that Jennifer Lawrence and Reese Witherspoon with their own stories from different people and then I also in you know here Ryan Gosling for example or Ben Affleck or these other male actors who are like I had no idea we all know we all knew let's stop acting like we don't and I wanted to make this video because we have to acknowledge that this is real that this is many people's experience and stories and not just in this industry in many industries and if you are a person in power because it happens women in power do this to other women in power other men and other men sorry not in power but in vulnerable situations we have to know that if you are a person in power and there is somebody who is a subordinate to you who looks up to you or who is trying to find their way and you are a mentor or a guide or a gatekeeper to them you are not you should not put them in a position to have to choose between their self-respect and their potential and any time that you make an a sexual advance on a person in that position that's what you're asking them to do they don't normally want to take their shirt off they don't normally want to come to your hotel room those experiences to you are nothing and to you you don't remember them and they're not a big deal but they sit with people for years and years and they change their perspective on their self on their position in this world and on their potential and I I know that you don't may not think of it that way I got into photography shortly after that experience because I was so sick and tired of seeing a male perspective a male voyeuristic view of women's beauty and at that time people didn't have selfies they didn't have their own camera so people needed to go to photographers to get a Facebook photo or to get themselves a little MySpace photo and a lot of the times I saw pictures that I saw eyes that look really familiar eyes like mine that were afraid and concerned and confused and unsure and knowing that something could have happened after the photo shoot I thought I want to be the person who allows women to create beauty on their own terms I want to be the person who allows if they want to take the door photos I will facilitate that but if they don't I will never pressure them and that's why I felt compelled to get into photography years later when I started working as a sexual educator I was doing a documentary and I traveled to Atlanta to talk about the sex scene there and how Magic City in particular had influenced women's perspective on their own sexuality and I met with this photographer who took sexy photos of women and we were having a candid conversation he was like look I'd be lying to you if I said a lot of these photos didn't end up in sex and I just had a conversation with him about my experience what I had gone through when many had gone through and he was like well it's different for me and I said it's not you know you you might think that these are experiences that they want or that it's the mood or that you know it's normal it feels natural it doesn't it scars people it hurts them it it makes them feel like less than what they are and the purpose of going to pursue your career pursue your passions is to be your highest most elevated self and when you manipulate that light in people you cause damage that you just don't get to see afterwards because the cameras are no longer flashing and so I guess I don't want this video to say that to any individual to my young cousin who just started modeling who is 7 16 years old this year she's born 2001 that makes her 16 who started modeling it's not normal you don't have to to any photographer a person power producer actor director or anybody a boss at a job if you find yourself in a position where it's easy to manipulate someone into a sexual act and they seem willing they don't want to more than likely they don't want to don't don't don't to anybody whom has never had either these experiences happened to them bleed be an ally be an ally if you hear a friend of yours tell a story that doesn't sound quite right or totally consensual speak up and say something if you have a friend like I had a friend who went through an experience like that don't just say that's a shame offer to do something more look for solutions to get that person justice to have that individual who abused their position of power brought in brought in you know to at least to put them on a watch list I think the thing when it comes to sexual assault or sexual crimes we always think about oh it's just a sensitive area you can't do much less than 2% of sex acts of sexual abuse or sexual harassment are reported and the reason why is it's a very uncomfortable blame game that nobody really wants to be a part of but when you do report a case even if it doesn't go to trial even if you don't pursue any type of criminal charges against that person what you do is create a police record of that individual and so the next person who comes forward now there's a case against them I know that seems like something small but it's something significant that I wish I did years later when I had a non consensual completely non consensual act and I knew that that person from their reputation had done this to several people and thought that it was normal and it was okay so I want you to encourage people who have experienced this to talk about it either publicly on social media whatever wherever it is feels comfortable for you or of course best case scenario to a police official or to a therapist if need be talk about it it's not something that you have to experience alone don't try to save everybody else for the feelings of discomfort at the cost of your own health your own mental health it's important that we share these stories it's important that we say me too so me too