 Maxwell House, the best coffee in the whole world? Well, your father says so. And your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. When you get right down to it, life today can be pretty complicated. You can't simplify things the way Cervantes did when he wrote, there's a time for some things and a time for all things, a time for great things and a time for small things. If you wrote a thing like that today, you know what they'd say? They'd say, what kind of time? Daylight saving or standing? See what I mean? Life has become very confusing. And in Springfield and the White Frame House on Maple Street, the Andersons will probably confuse it still further, like this. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I keep yawning all the time. Yes, dear. Yes, I must be getting old. Yes, dear. Well, you don't have to agree with me. Margaret. Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I guess I wasn't listening. I was just reading. Jim, you're not going to spread those maps all over the floor again. Why not? Because you disrupt the entire household. That's why not. And furthermore, Just a second, honey. What is it, bud? Is it all right if I wear your blue denim shirt? No, it isn't all right. Use your own. Good gosh. What were you saying, dear? I was saying, why can't you listen to a news broadcast like anyone else? You don't see other people spreading maps all over the floor. For your information, my pet, General MacArthur would rather be caught dead than listened to a news broadcast without his maps. Well, if it makes you and General MacArthur happy by that. Oh, what is it, bud? It's in the wash. What is? My denim shirt and the pants, too. Well, then wear something else. But I've got the denim pants on. What denim pants? Yours. Bud. Jim, he's going on a hay ride, and I didn't want him to wear any of his good clothes. And I knew you wouldn't mind. Bud. Yes, dad? Take the denim shirt. Thanks, dad. You're a pal. And Margaret. Yes, dear? In the future, please let me handle the trouser concession. All right, dear. She's gotten so a man can't call his pants his own. Anytime I want to wear something, Bud has it on. Jim, you've done nothing but yawn ever since you got home. Why don't you go to bed? I'm going to bed right after the news broadcast. And I'd give $10 to be able to sleep until noon. Well, tomorrow's Sunday. Why don't you? Golf, 8 o'clock. Oh, Jim. Hi, parents. What cooks for the do-and-don't department? The what? Never mind, Margaret. She just came in on a flying saucer. We're not supposed to understand. Father. Don't pay any attention to her, or else you'll probably dissolve into thin air. What is it, Betty? I thought you had a date with Dick Andrews. Oh, there's lots of time. Look, which nail polish do you like best? If that isn't a weird setup. Betty, you aren't going out that way, are you? With eight different shades of nail polish? Of course not. But which one do you like best? The one you've got on your thumbs. I don't have any on my thumbs. That's the one I like best. Mother. They all look very nice, dear. And I really think you ought to get dressed. Oh, pretty soon. I was just thinking about the piece of apple pie that was left over from dinner. Well, it's in the icebox. It won't be for long. Creepers, if somebody only told me which shade they like best, I wouldn't have all this trouble. Oh, good grief. Any time I decide to go to bed early. I'll get it. But can't you learn to walk down the stairs? One of these days, the whole house is going to collapse. Did you want me dead? No, just answer the door. That's what I was going to do. Well, go ahead. Didn't you want something? I want you to see who rang the doorbell. I heard you call me and I thought you wanted something. But? Yes, Dad? Please, answer the door. You bet, Dad, right away. I think he lies in bed at night trying to figure out ways to torment me. Dear, you're just tired. And after you've had a good night's rest, everything will seem much brighter. Well, I hope you're right. And I don't care who it is, Margaret. I'm not going to stay up after 10 o'clock. No, dear, but we can't be rude, can we? Maybe you can't, but I can. 10 o'clock is my limit. Who is it, bud? It was Willie Freehawk who was embroidered. He ever looked funny. His hat was way down over his ears, and he said he couldn't help it because I was the only size they had. But if they can't get one to fit him, he's going to stuff it full of newspaper, and then he thinks it'll fit better. What did he want? Oh, he brought a telegram. Here you are, Dad. Just any time at all. It'll be fine. You should have seen him, Mom. He had this Western Union hat on, and you could hardly see his face. And he had to hold his head way back like this. No! Yes, he did, Dad. You see, he had the hat way in the back. She can't come. Not again. Jim, it isn't your Aunt Martha. It certainly is my Aunt Martha. Look at it. Arrive Sunday, be at depot with children eight o'clock, Aunt Martha. Didn't even say love. And it's only nine words. It wouldn't have cost her anything. Jim. Just a minute, honey. But aren't you supposed to go on a hay ride? Sure. Well, go ahead. I don't have to leave for 10 minutes. Dear, your father and I have something to discuss. Oh, OK. I was just thinking. Remember the piece of apple pie that was left over from dinner? Betty thought of it first. What? She's in the kitchen with it now. She had two pieces for dinner. Betty, wait a minute. I want to talk to you. Jim, why doesn't your Aunt Martha ever give us more notice? I don't know, honey. Now I've got to work all night to tidy up the house. Oh, it looks fine. Just the way it is. It doesn't at all. And you know how fussy she is. Sure. She's afraid she might get a little dust on one of her $1,000 bills. Oh, crab. Jim. Free room and board at the Anderson's. No wonder she's rich. She never spends anything. Jim, Kathy's coming. Old buzzard. A fine Sunday I'm going to have. Kathy, where on earth have you been? In the kitchen. I was watching Betty make a sandwich. A sandwich? What happened to the pie? I ate it. Why aren't you in bed? It isn't time. It certainly is time. It's almost 9 o'clock. It isn't even 8 o'clock. Kathy, stop arguing with me and go to bed. But you said I could stay up until 8 30. Well, look at the whole clock. It's almost 9. Oh, no, dear. It isn't quite five minutes of 8. And besides. Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you. I turned all the clocks back. You did? Jim, whatever on earth for. Because tomorrow is the last Sunday in September. We go back to standard time at 2 o'clock. And I certainly don't intend to get up at 2 o'clock in the morning to fix a bunch of clocks. Jim, you aren't supposed to turn the clocks back. You're supposed to turn them ahead. Margaret, the principle of daylight saving is to save daylight, right? Well, yes. So you turn the clocks back in September and gain the hour you lost in April. That's simple enough, isn't it? If you turn them back, dear, how can you gain anything? You gain the hour you lost because you get it over again. You have the same hour twice. You can't gain anything by going backward. You have to go forward. Not with clocks, you don't you? Turn them back. Daddy. What is it, Kathy? You turned them back in April. I did not turn them back in April. I turned them ahead. Jim, you said in April that we gained an hour of daylight. That's right, because it stayed early later. I mean, it got later early. Margaret, the sun stayed up longer. Because it got late later. Kathy, I think you'd better go to bed. But Daddy said we lost an hour in April and he turned the clocks backwards. Now we ought to turn them frontwards. Kathleen, no matter what I did in April, tomorrow we do not turn the clocks ahead. No? No. I already did. Kathy. Jim, she was only doing what she thought was right. Well, she had no business doing anything. If you don't understand the principle of daylight saving, you don't move the clocks around. But Mommy said. Don't you mind what Mommy said? You didn't see her changing the clocks, did you? No. Jim. Yes? I moved them ahead, too. Oh. Well, I'm sure that's what you're supposed to do. The paper said you gained an hour. You gained an hour by turning the clocks back. Well, what time is it? How do I know the way everybody gets the clocks all messed up? Betty? Yes, Father? What time does it say on the kitchen clock? That's a great help. What's all the fuss about that? Oh, nothing, nothing at all. It's just that people shouldn't mess around with things they don't understand. Daddy's mad because I moved the clocks ahead. It's perfectly all right, dear. You meant well. I didn't know I was going to get everything mixed up. You don't have to worry, Dad. Kathy didn't spoil anything. What do you mean? Well, she told me she turned the clocks ahead, so I turned them back. Why? You didn't turn them back. You couldn't. Why couldn't I? Because I turned them back, too. Oh, Betty. Well, I thought I was just making it the right time. Jim, where are you going? I'm going to find out what time it is. You've got the clocks in this house so mixed up, we can't tell if it's Wednesday or Friday. Daddy, it's Saturday. Thank you very much. At the tone, the time will be 8, 58, and 40 seconds. There, now we know. From now on, please, leave the clocks alone. What time is it, dear? What she said, 8.50, 1 minute to 9. 9? To 9? Gosh, I ought to be in bed. Good night, everybody. Oh, Mother, I'm half an hour late now, and I've got on eight shades of nail polish. What am I going to do? Holy cow, I miss the whole hayride. Betty, stop moaning. Get dressed and go. But my nails. They'll never notice the nails. I'm ruined. The last hayride of the year, and I missed it. Maybe they waited for you, Bud. They couldn't. There was a rule. No waiting for anybody. Are you sure? Sure, I'm sure. I made up the rule. Good morning. You know, this whole thing is very interesting. It merely proves what I've been telling you for years. If you don't understand something, leave it alone. You see what happened? Betty's late for her date. Bud missed his hayride. And what time was your broadcast, dear? 8 o'clock. Oh, my gosh. Daddy. Not now, please, Kathy. Everybody be quiet. And so we bring to a close this full hour of news broadcasting from around the world. Tune in again. Jim, dear. What was it you wanted to say, Kathy? Good night, everybody. Another cup of coffee, please. It's the best I ever tasted. Tomorrow you can hear that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am, he'll be there at your table. Because the world's greatest coffee expert is your husband. Of course, we rate ourselves pretty high as experts. Our Maxwell House coffee has long been America's favorite brand. But we know the final judge is that man of yours. And if you pour him a cup of Maxwell House, we're pretty certain he'll say, best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back. You see, we know no other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee's made like Maxwell House. Get a pound tomorrow. Start serving your husband the coffee with that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. If he doesn't tell you it's his number one choice, why you send us the can and unused portion and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is right on the front of every one of those familiar blue tins. Put it up to the world's greatest coffee expert tomorrow. Give him Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. The Maxwell Middle Town fits real medicine and climate junction on track four. All right, bud. Let's watch where we're going. What? You're bumping into everybody. Pardon me. Betty, hold your brother's eyes open. I'll hold them open, Daddy. You should have seen them stare at me, father. You'd have thought I was a freak or something, just because my nails didn't match. Pardon me. Fine telegram doesn't say what train she's coming on or where she's leaving from. Just be there at eight o'clock. Daddy, I can't reach his eyes. Shall I stick him with a pin? Never mind, Kathy. Skip the whole thing. Gee whiz. Pardon me. All right, bud. That's enough. Let's wake up. Bud. Why don't we just prop him up against a post and pretend we don't know him? He'll come to in a little while. Bud. Bud. Breakfast. What? All right, now stay awake. Somebody said breakfast. They did? Well, whoever could it have been? Hey, we're at the station. How do we get down here? We'll draw you a diagram as soon as we find Aunt Martha. What happened to the information booth? It's in back of the magazine stand. Where'd they move the magazine stand? We tried over there, Daddy. See? Stick everything into a corner where you can't see it. Come on, bud. This is no time to sit down. People get arrested for yelling fire when there isn't any fire. Why should she yell breakfast when there isn't any breakfast? It was a joke, Dopey. Some joke. Well, it woke you up. I was waking up anyway. You didn't have to yell breakfast. And Cornelia said, these are my jewels, my children. What? Never mind. I was just mumbling. Here's the information booth, Daddy. Thank you, Kathy. You're a great help. I am? You certainly are. Boy, is this a mixed up morning. I beg your pardon. We have a wire from an aunt of mine telling us to meet her here at 8 o'clock. And we don't know exactly where she's coming from. So could you give us any information about any train that's supposed to arrive here anywhere in the neighborhood of that time? Eh? I said, we have a wire from an aunt of mine. What do you mean you don't know where she's coming from? Well, my aunt was staying with my cousins in Bedford. That's where the wire came from. And there isn't any train in Bedford. So? Well, Bedford's halfway between Lancaster and New Canaan. And there's a station in Lancaster on the Lackawon in St. Paul, and a station in New Canaan on the Springfield in Northern. Wait a minute. This is the information desk. I'm supposed to be telling you. Well, let's not stand on ceremonies. Is there a train from either place at 8 o'clock? A which 8 o'clock? Eastern, Central, Mountain, or Pacific Coast. Suppose we try Central. Oh, let me see. Mm-hmm. Nope. No train at 8 o'clock. How about Eastern? Eastern, Britain, London, London, London. Here we are, New Canaan. 8 o'clock? 1130. Look, is there any train due in here at 8 o'clock? AM or PM? I don't know. She just said to meet her at 8 o'clock. Well, wait till I get my book. I'll look it up. You do that. Father, Bud's asleep again. Let him sleep. One of us might as well be having a good time. Where's Kathy? I don't know. Kathy? All you have to do is leave her alone for 10 seconds. Kathy? She was standing right next to me a minute ago. I'll see if you can find her before she breaks one of the locomotives. Bud? Bud? We've lost Kathy. Good. Bud? Do you want me to say it again? No, just go find your sister. OK. Kathy? Kathy? Attention, please. This is your last call to the new Westinner, leaving on track four for Plainfield, Rockville, Middletown, Fitzreel, Madison, and Klamath Junction. The dining car is forward and is now open for breakfast. What? Bud, we can't find Kathy. Somebody said breakfast. We'll all have breakfast in a few minutes. Why don't you go look for Kathy? Where'd she go? We don't know where she went. Just look for her. Holy cow. Wake you up in the middle of the night and then you can't even have your breakfast. Well, I got all the information for you on that 8 o'clock train. Fine. There isn't any. But there must be. She said to meet her at 8 o'clock. We got one at 7.45. Well, that's close enough. Which one is it? It don't run on Sunday. I have a telegram right here in my pocket. I'll show it to you. Were you calling me, Daddy? Where have you been? I was looking at the comics. Well, where are they? On the magazine stand. Oh, those comics. What happened to Benny and Bud? I don't know. Did they get lost? They're looking for you. But I'm here. See that you stay here. Oh, I'm sorry. I guess we're a little confused this morning. You're a little confused. People come up and they don't know where they're going. Oh, I'm sorry. 8 o'clock, 7 o'clock, eastern, central. How am I supposed to figure it out? Some of them don't even know where the people are coming from. That's me. Oh, well, now what are we supposed to do? Shall we dance? All right, Betty. I found her. I wasn't lost. Oh, Father, the most horrible thing just happened. You found Aunt Martha. I got a run in my stocking. I can't walk around here like this. Look at it. Dad. What is it, Bud? There's a big cafeteria over at the other end and you can get all kinds of breakfast. Later, Bud, later. For only 85 cents, you can get eggs and cereal and milk. I said later. And everything. Look, Miss, I want you to read the telegram for yourself. Arrive Sunday, be at depot with children at 8 o'clock. Now, what could be clearer than that? What depot? This depot. How many depots are there in Springfield? Train depot, freight depot, bus depot. Bus depot? Oh, no. Is something wrong, Daddy? She probably came in on a bus. Is there a bus from bed for the day to clock? Mr. I've got enough trouble keeping track of the train. Betty, what time is it? 8.15. Oh, the poor thing. She's probably sitting in the bus depot worrying about us. We'd better get right over there. Oh, hey, wait a minute. There's a 7 o'clock train from New Canaan. Maybe that's the one she meant. She said 8 o'clock. It never gets in until 8. Well, where is it? It won't be in until 9. Oh, my aching back. Now, what do we do? Well, why don't we split up, Father? You go to the bus depot, and we'll stay here. All right. Why don't I go home? You're going to stay here and meet Aunt Martha, all of you. But maybe she got tired of waiting and took a cab. That's got nothing to do with it. I'm going to the bus depot, and you're going to stay here. Father, what if she did take a cab? With her own money, don't be ridiculous. Daddy. And I don't want any trouble with you. I didn't do anything. I was just thinking. Me too. Why don't you call Mommy and tell her what happened? What? And then if Aunt Martha calls, she can tell her not to worry. Say, that's a very good idea. Thank you, Kathy. You're welcome. We'll call your mother and get her straightened out, and then I'll take off at the bus depot. The phone's right here, Daddy. Thank you, Kathy. I don't know what I'd have done without you today. What is it, Betty? Do we all have to stay here? I mean, couldn't you take Kathy with you? I'll be glad to take her with me. She's a joy and a pleasure compared with some of my numbskulled children. What did we do? Hello? Oh, Margaret, this is Jim. Oh, Jim, I've been trying to reach you all over town. Honey, if Aunt Martha calls, tell her I'm on my way over to the bus depot. Jim. And I'm leaving the kids at the station in case she's on the 7 o'clock train. Jim. No matter what she says, tell her she's not to worry. Jim. Margaret, I haven't got time to talk. Jim, will you please listen to me? Yes, dear. What is it? Right after you left, we got another telegram from Aunt Martha. She isn't coming. Oh, no. Every time you buy coffee, you certainly want to get the most for your money, the most in flavor, the most truly good cups of coffee from every pound. And you can get some real help finding that from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am, just serve up a cup of Maxwell House to that husband of yours. He's the number one expert. And when you hear him say, that's the coffee for me, you'll know Maxwell House is the coffee for you, too. Your coffee by. Bring home a familiar blue Maxwell House tin tomorrow. See how much your coffee expert husband enjoys every cupful. And count how many truly good cups of coffee you get in that one pound. We're mighty sure you'll find it's Maxwell House coffee that gives you the most for your money, because it's always good to the last drop. It's an ill wind that blows no good, and civilization goes forward on a succession of disasters, such as those which constantly befall the Andersons. We'll take the sad events of the past weekend. They had their effect on the progress of man in a great many ways. For example, in the arts. I'm a success, mother. I'm a success. I'm the biggest thing in Springfield since Hattie Carnegie. Betty, will you please stand still? Do you know what happened in school today? Every girl on the campus was wearing eight shades of nail polish. The sciences. Did you know that the roost toxocadendron emits a glucoside that causes violent itching even after it's all dried up? Roost what? Poison ivy. What about it? It was mixed up with a hay, and everybody who went on the ride is sick in bed. And general education. One in the whole class who knew about daylight saving. Well, that's fine, dear. And next April when the clocks go back. Kathy, they don't go back in April. They go ahead. Oh, I know. I mean, when they go back on daylight saving. What about it? Well, I'll just know why. That's all. Good. Jim. Yes, Margaret? I understand all about the clocks and why you turned them back. Yes. But I certainly think someone ought to tell the newspapers. What? Well, they're the ones who get everybody confused. If they just said we lose an hour, then naturally we turn the clocks back. But we don't lose an hour. We gain an hour. If you turn the clocks back. Margaret, you get the hour over again. That's why they say you gain an hour. If it's 8 o'clock and you turn your watch back to 7 o'clock, then you've got 60 whole minutes to live over again. If you turn them ahead, you skip an hour and you lose it. That's why the newspapers say. Life is swell when you keep well. And what better way to help keep well than with post 40% brand flakes? America's favorite brand flakes. Post brand flakes provide brand to help prevent irregularity due to lack of bulk in the diet. Plus, important vitamins and minerals. And you'll love the delicious flavor of post brand flakes. Serve them for breakfast tomorrow. Remember, life is swell when you keep well. Try post 40% brand flakes. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed Jayden. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Yes, now it's Dragnet. Listen Sunday for Charlie Wilde on NBC.