 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the play and novels by Rose Frankin brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a Coke and now Claudia That's what I want to know. What is it? What's what? Why are you walking so fast? Have you forgotten we really aren't going anywhere? Sure we are. We're going for a walk. A walk is it? It feels more like a trot or a nice brisk canter. Am I going too fast? Not too fast for a racehorse perhaps, but then I'm not a racehorse. What's the hurry? I'm sorry Mama. I guess it's because I'm thinking. I'm thinking about David. What have you done now? What have I done? What makes you think I've done something? Elementary my dear Watson. When you start thinking about David it's because something isn't right. And when something isn't right it's usually pretty easy to guess who's fault it is. Everything's right. Well David was a little grumpy this morning and I'm just trying to guess why. There you go worrying again. What's wrong with worrying? David isn't usually grumpy. Of course not. He probably just got tired of answering silly questions. I think he had something to do with insurance. Insurance? What do you know about insurance? Even I don't know anything about it. That's just it. I know all about it. Roger and David spent last night explaining the whole thing to me. So that's it. Then you tried to tell David all about insurance and he wouldn't listen and now you think it's David who was grumpy. But he did listen. He listened to you. And I always thought I had an intelligent son-in-law. But Mama, I know all about insurance. He explained it just last night. Besides, I know I was right. It's so cheap. What's cheap? Tornado insurance for our house, I mean. Tornado insurance for your house? Yup. But your house is in Connecticut. They never have tornadoes in Connecticut. That's what everybody says but no one knows why. It only costs a dollar and a half a year. I think that's what David said. And we get twenty thousand dollars if there's a tornado. And that's just a sort of bargain you can't resist. It does seem like a very easy way to make a lot of money, doesn't it? I wonder if that's what made David so grumpy. He hardly said a word during breakfast. Your ordinary husband would have said plenty, I think. Say, isn't that a fine-looking drugstore? The one on the corner there? It's just like any other drugstore I ever saw. I need a very special drugstore. You do? That's plenty of you so special. What do you need it for? Very rare drug, aspirin. Something to matter, Mama. You got a headache? Worrying again. Leave your mother's head alone. If I had a headache it would be no wonder. Here's the drugstore. Maybe we can get something you want, too. Looks like a wonderful drugstore. Oh, I love drugstores like this, don't you? They've got so many different things. You don't even have to know what you're going to buy before you go in. I want to buy some aspirin, remember? You might buy a book. They've got quite a library. Oh, no, thanks. Or a magazine. Or that. I think that's just what you need. What a pretty sign. Is that what you mean? Why do you feel the way you do feel today? What is it? Looks like a magazine on astrology. Astrology for everyday people. What other kind of people are there except everyday people? I'm sure I don't know. Why do you feel the way you do feel? You know that just might explain why David was grumpy this morning? Don't you think so? No, sure. It would be fun to see what it says anyway. I'll get a copy. You're going to buy that? Of course I am. It's only a dime. Another bargain. Lots better than having your palm read, I bet you. Astrology, palm reading. Why, you've never had your palm read in your life. It was your idea in the first place. You told me to buy it. You take everything anyone says seriously? Why do you feel the way you feel today? I wouldn't mind finding that out either. I love to read all about myself. You don't have to read about yourself. You can just listen to me. I'm listening. The reason you feel the way you feel today. You don't even know what way that way is. Whatever you feel the whole trouble is because you've been outrageously spoiled by a foolish and doting old mother. What a way to talk. Only solace in her old age is accurate. David. Yes, dear? David, when were you born? My birthday is in May. You can give me a 21-jewel tractor when it comes. Does that satisfy you? I don't mean the day. I know perfectly well it's the 23rd. No, you do. How do you happen to know that? We didn't even know each other on my last birthday. Boy, has this been a year. Don't you remember the time you nearly got a ticket? I saw your birthday on your driving license. Oh, you did. Then why did you ask me what day I was born? I didn't ask you what day you were born on. I asked you when you were born. It's really terribly important if you believe in this magazine. What magazine's that? Astrology for everyday people. What? It's a magazine on astrology. You know all about stars and planets and why people do the things they do all on a cot of the stars. Claudia, you don't really believe in that stuff, do you? Me? Oh, of course not. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. I don't know. The minute we finished dinner, you were hurried right in here to the living room and settled down to read that magazine as though your life depended on it. That doesn't mean I believe it. Funny thing I ever read. David, when were you born? You said you knew that. The day I know the day that you have to know the hour and the minute. Who says I have to? It says so right here in this magazine. Where? I'll read it to you. Here. In order to chart an accurate horoscope, it is necessary to know the exact hour and minute and place of birth. Well, and I guess I'll just have to do without an accurate horoscope. Nobody held a stopwatch for me. They didn't? No. Do you think you'll be able to survive the disappointment? Just have to try your, uh, Germany. Are you just now finding that out? Did you know it? Naturally I knew it. Known it all my life. You don't think I'd let an important fact like that escape me, do you? You're kidding. Aren't you? Never mind, I've been gone. Now let's see. Here you are. Germany for March. Gemini by Gemini, that's me. Read on. I haven't had enough time to give to this lately. David, I really... You don't believe this stuff, do you? That's my line and never mind. I get on with Gemini for March. Here's what you have to do, Gemini, Gemini. Cultivate original ideas throughout March while Mercury, Venus, Mars, and the Sun make their progressive transit through the eighth house of the Sun. Seventh. What did you say? I said seventh. Seventh what? Seventh house of the Sun. But it says eighth. Oh, dear lady, what it says I care not. My own observation, madame. I had made with a telescope a belonged once to Notre Dame's himself with the help of a black cat and a broomstick. David, you quiet, quiet, quiet please. You disturbed my concentration and chased away the spirit. Spirit? But David, this is astrology, there aren't any spirits. You need to tell me to sit right there and tell me that you are aware of the spirits in this room. There is an Indian chief holding a cigar standing right behind your chair. I don't see anything. Of course not, you scared him away. Please continue with my horoscope, madame Swamy. David, you are not furious about all this. We are not furious about all this. I'm perfectly serious. But I'd like to hear about myself and go ahead. Funny, that's exactly what I said to Bob. Please continue with my horoscope. I said the suspense is killing me. It was her idea to get it. Mama? Yes, mama. So mama's one too. One more. My, what a happy little family we're going to be. Spending the rest of our lives craning our necks up to the stars. Now don't be silly, David. You don't actually have to look at the stars to see what's going to happen. It's all written right here in the magazine. Please continue with my horoscope. The Lunation of March 11th. That's tomorrow, David. Aren't you excited? Oh, thrilled to pieces, go on. A curse in your night solar health. I was sure it was the 13th. There are only 12. Well, what happened to the 13th house? I guess it never got built on the count of the shorty. David, I know our place in Eastbrook is the 13th house. You make us sound very unlucky now, go on, go on. Let me see where was that. The ascendant of your solar horoscope ended its grand trine aspect with Jupiter and Saturn. You don't say? It influences, be quiet. Created by this configuration, are exceedingly favorable for success. Since Jupiter is the cosmic symbol of good fortune. Claudia, that is, that is marvel. That is absolutely, positively the best news I've had in days. What does it mean? What does it mean? Don't you know? No. I don't either. Maybe your mother understands it. Mama, she doesn't know any more about this than we do. Then why'd she stuff this magazine in your pocket? Maybe she was joking. Joking? I bet she was only trying to change the subject. Oh. I bet you were explaining all about insurance, too. Now, don't be silly. Mama is not grumpy the way you were. Me grumpy? Oh, you mean this morning? Yes. Just because I made you take out tornado insurance. Grumpy? About tornado insurance? For a dollar and a half a year? That, what, that is the silliest thing I ever heard of. What's silly about it? If I were grumpy, which I deny you little chipmunk, it was because of something I was thinking about at the office, which we've since gotten all straightened out. You mean I was wrong? Just about as wrong as everything in that magazine of yours. David, just for fun, let's look in the magazine and see if it says I'm wrong about things today. I think that's a mistake. Mistake why? If you prefer that magazine to my own telescopic observations, go ahead. No, let's see. I'm Capricorn. I'm Popcorn. Hello. Hello. How do you do? Now listen to what it says. The conclusions formed about money today should prove reliable. The juncture of Uranus and Pluto indicate prevalence of high winds and much talk. Attend to matters that concern your future economic security. Doesn't say anything about making mistakes. I've missed that completely. Yes. David, how can you say that? Conclusions formed about money today should be reliable. Well, don't you know what that means? That means insurance. How do you know? And the next thing, high winds. I suppose that's the tornado, you think. This brilliant magazine. It knows I was right about the insurance. David, we're going to have a tornado. Isn't that marvelous? And all for a dollar and a half. This broadcast at the party was... Oh, Mr. King. Mr. King, it would be nice, wouldn't it? If Horoscope and Astrology could tell you exactly what's going to happen. Well, life certainly would be a lot simpler, Mrs. Brown. Take tomorrow, for instance. Claudia and David are going up to Eastbrook to have their well done. That's quite an event, isn't it? Quite an event and quite a gamble, too. You can't always find water when you want it and where you want it. Well, isn't it a mighty expensive project? Oh, but necessary. I have a feeling my fingers are going to be crossed all night wishing them well. And I do mean well. Well, I'll cross mine, too. If they don't strike water, they can always drink Coca-Cola. This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney. When guests leave your house with the words, we always have such a good time here. It gives you a wonderful feeling, doesn't it? Such good times come from a congenial atmosphere in a carefree, easy going hostess. Keep the refrigerator well supplied with Coca-Cola and you can be a lighthearted hostess. You can bring out those frosty bottles anytime and join in the fun yourself. And, happy thought, Coca-Cola costs only five cents a bottle, which makes hospitality double easy. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying, Au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola or ice-cold Coca-Cola makes any pause, the pause that refreshes.