 We're continuing on in this incredible book of John series. My favorite gospel, I know maybe you're not supposed to have favorite Bible books, but I do. And it's the gospel of John because I have encountered and met the risen Lord Jesus through these stories over and over again. And it's an honor to be continuing on this series. We're gonna jump in at John three, which is the story of Jesus and Nicodemus. And today we're gonna talk about doubts and belief. What I love about these stories we're about to dive into is Jesus is not afraid or intimidated by doubt, by questions that are brought to him. In fact, quite the opposite. He is tenderhearted and he ministers to deep places of pain, questioning and doubts. And I believe this morning, that same Jesus wants to minister to our hearts and our places of doubt and pain. So let's jump in. We're gonna read a long passage of scripture. Hopefully that's exciting to you. I'm gonna have you participate though, because really what we're talking about today and what's happening in these stories in the gospel of John is, John is juxtaposing two people that respond to Jesus differently. One in faith and one in doubt. But the way John does it is so brilliant. He shows the doubt isn't disguised as people saying, I don't believe you Jesus, I don't want you, I hate you and run away scared like that. It doesn't look like that. It's disguised in this phrase I know. And there's a difference between knowing something and being a know-it-all. And the know-it-all thinks that it's discovered and learned everything. And it's a mask oftentimes for doubt and pain. And it's the opposite of belief. And that's what the story in John 3 and then later in 11 will look like. So every time I read the word know or knew, I want you to shout it out as loud as you can. And when you hear and see the word believe, I want you to shout that out as well. So we're gonna start in John 2.23, just two verses before John 3, because these chapters were added later on, these chapter numbers were added later on. This is part of one story that we're about to read. So John 2.23 says, now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover feast, many in his name, when they saw the signs that he was doing, but Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them for he all people and found, and you're doing great by the way, and needed no one to bear witness about the man for he himself, what was in man. Now there was a man of the Pharisees named, Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to him, rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is truly with him. Jesus answered him truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Nicodemus said to him, how can a man be born when he's old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born? Jesus answered truly, truly, I say, unless one is born of water and spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of flesh is flesh and that which is born of the spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I say to you be born again, the wind blows where it wishes and you hear it sound but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone born of the spirit. Nicodemus said to him, how can these things be? Jesus answered him, are you the teacher of Israel yet and you don't understand these things? Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we and bear witness to what we have seen but you do not receive our testimony. If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness so must the Son of Man be lifted up that whoever in him may have eternal life for God so loved the world that he gave his only son that he whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Give yourself a round of applause. You guys did great following along. This story starts with Jesus doing miracles and signs and wonders and then it says, but Jesus did not entrust himself to man because he knew what was in the heart of man and the next few stories we're about to see in John, we're about to see it here with Nicodemus, the Samaritan woman, the Gentile official, the man of the pool of Bethesda is that Jesus does not relate in the terms of position but to the individual in their heart and what I love about this situation is Nicodemus, he comes to Jesus and he says, you know, we meaning he's joining himself with the Pharisees. He's saying we the Pharisees, a member of the Sanhedrin, he's saying we know that you have come from God and he's coming at night because he's afraid he doesn't quite believe yet and in this interaction Jesus, you know, does a terrible capitalizing on the influence opportunity in front of him. You know, if Jesus really wanted to capitalize on influence, he could have said, hey, we got a leader of Israel, a teacher. This is a great chance. Let's get some Instagram reels. Let's get on the conference circuit. Let's start talking about how to really make an impact because you know that I came from God but Jesus sees through the veneer in Nicodemus and he cuts and ministers right to the heart. Jesus cares about the person in front of him, not the position. He doesn't see a Pharisee first. He doesn't see a teacher or leader first. He sees a son and someone who's wrestling with doubt and he chooses to minister to him rather than use him. Jesus is still the same today. He's looking to minister to you before he's looking to use you for his purposes. So who is this man that he's caring for in John three? Well, first, again, we see him come at night and we see in this nighttime exercise he is bringing his doubt to Jesus but he's not quite yet ready to be seen. And he brings this phrase. He says, Jesus, we know that you came from God because these signs and wonders and what Jesus is about to expose, which he says straight up. It's the difference between knowing and believing. So it's a world of difference. You know, kids, when they're young, we all did too, like to believe they know everything. I mean, I was asking Aliyah the other day she was saying something and I was like, Aliyah, do you think you know more than mom and dad? And without pausing, she goes, oh, absolutely. I mean, just like 100% sure. Like she knows way more about, you know, the oceans and biology. Therefore, she just knows way more about life because experience doesn't mean anything as long as I kind of know and understand information. And Oxford Dictionary defines knowing as to be aware through observation, inquiry or information. The Greek word I do, which is what's translated no in this passage is to see with physical eyes or to observe, to take in knowledge and information. And the Oxford word for believe means to accept something is true. Or pistuo, which is the Greek word, which means to have faith in or to trust completely. Do you see the difference between observing and trusting completely? See, Nicodemus is saying he knows something through observation and Jesus cuts through that veneer and says, I'm asking you to believe. So how does Jesus address somebody who knows but doesn't yet believe? We're gonna look at three things real briefly. The first is he conceives divine revelation. See, Nicodemus was okay with Jesus giving a message from God, but he wasn't okay with Jesus being the message. He was okay with Jesus coming from God, but not being God. And Jesus doesn't back down from his divinity. In fact, he immediately launches in. And you notice three times he used this phrase, truly, truly. And that was more than a speaker wouldn't just say that to emphasize something. What he was saying by truly, truly was saying he has first hand information, meaning he wasn't giving you information, he was the information. Remember what John 1 said in the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. And it says Jesus taught as one with authority and that astounded them. That authority doesn't mean he had like a suit and he walked, he strutted and he had a badge and he talked really loud. And that's what authority meant. No, it meant he had first hand information and knowledge. When he spoke on behalf of God, he spoke as God. And Jesus did not shy away from his divinity and man in this day and age, it's almost like we want, we want to show the world that Jesus is human but we're afraid of the offense of Jesus being God. We cannot back down. Jesus did not back down. Number two, he confounds the wisdom of men. And he says this phrase, you must be born again. See, Jesus cuts to the heart by using language and metaphor that Nicodemus would be completely unfamiliar with. Another way to say it, he offends Nicodemus' mind to reveals his heart. And this is extraordinary to me because Nicodemus would have had the entire Torah memorized. He would have had the scriptures in its entirety completely memorized. And Jesus doesn't say, okay, Nicodemus, let me speak to you on your terms. Let me use the information and knowledge that you know to explain myself as God. But he actually purposefully confuses him. He purposefully offends what Nicodemus knows to reveal his heart. It's because Jesus knew beneath Nicodemus' religious veneer was a son who needed to be born again. He had to offend what Nicodemus knew so that he could believe. And friends, I know this to be so true in my walk with God. That God is not interested in just meeting me at the level of how I know and understand him. But he seems to absolutely love to confound my wisdom when I think I got him figured out. Remember, we think this proverb is so nice. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. You know, when we lean on our understanding, God has a real good way of just kicking that leg out from under us and letting us understand because we cannot fully grasp him. And if we are limited to what we know or what we observe, we will never fully know God. So what did Nicodemus knew would be the basis of his doubt? Well, Nicodemus came, he came with a sign-based faith which looks like genuine faith, right? Jesus, we know you came from God because we've seen you do signs and wonders. But in reality, it's not enough to observe God's faithfulness and goodness through other people. We see it in the gospels where individuals are wowed by the signs and wonders, but then when Jesus offends the mind and says something like, eat my flesh, drink my blood, because their faith was based in signs and wonders and not in personal revelation and encounter, they fall. And what does Peter say after everyone else leaves? He says, where else can we go? You have the words of life. You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus says, well done, Simon. They all left because of a sign-based faith, but you had personal revelation about who the man Jesus Christ was. And so Nicodemus, using this language of born again, which would have been foreign and new to him. See, Nicodemus was born into three things that would have gave him confidence in his salvation. The first was he was part of God's covenant people, which would be graced through election. Nicodemus would have thought he had no need to be born again because he was already born once and he won the lottery. He was born into God's covenant people. This is likened to the attitude that many have when you say, of course I'm a Christian. I was born into a Christian home. I went to a Christian school. I went to a church since I was young. Because of the family I was born into, I must be a Christian and Jesus confronts this. The second is Nicodemus was born into prestige, which is grace through earning. Because I have this amazing pedigree because I've accomplished all of these things for God. Surely I'm born again. Surely I'm, quote, saved. And this is confronted so directly by Jesus in Matthew 7. When people approach with a very impressive ministry pedigree, raising the dead, healing the sick, leading other people to Jesus. And Jesus says, depart from me, for I never knew you. Your best works, the best things that you accomplish apart from his righteousness mean nothing. Paul, who had probably the greatest pedigree in ministry history, one that none, you and I could never reach. And Paul calls it filthy rags. In another scripture he uses a word for excrement, dung. It is useless if it is not surrendered to and received the righteousness of Christ in our salvation. Number three was Nicodemus was born into the law, which is the grace through ethics. Well, I'm basically a good person. I haven't killed anybody, you know. I don't do all these horrible things. Surely I must be saved because I'm such a good person. So he has grace through election, earning and ethics. These are the three ways we're attempted to believe. Well, we're just saved because of these things. And Jesus in this most pivotal passage says, toss all of those things out. You have to be born again. See, Nicodemus isn't saved by his own doing, but Jesus' own dying. It had nothing to do with Nicodemus could do. And see the world is looking for reformation. Nicodemus was looking for reformation, but the Father is looking for regeneration. 2 Corinthians 5, 17 says, therefore anyone, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away, behold the new things have come. Titus 3, 5 says he saved us not on the basis of deed, which we have done, but according to his mercy by the washing and regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit. And 1 Peter 1, 3 says, blessed be the God of our Father, Lord Jesus Christ. So according to his great mercy, has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. God did not come to make bad people good, but dead people alive. And what happens at the new birth is not getting a new religion or a new idea, but it's a completely new life. He says, you must be born again. You must, meaning there's only one way. You have to be born, which means there's a Father involved and there's a moment of conversion where you are birthed into the world. And you have to be born again or a new. You need to be made new. And trust me, the world thinks they're looking for reformation, but what they need is regeneration. What they need is to be purchased by the blood of Jesus. What they need is for their good, their bad, everything they are, everything we are laid before the righteousness of Jesus to be born again, to be joined with Christ, to be his righteousness and under his blood and under his covenant. Jesus gives Nicodemus a presupposition to this new birth. He says, you must believe. You must believe. And this is the third thing that Jesus does is he confronts Nicodemus's doubts. And he asks them to believe. His biblical word for doubt, there's a few of them, but the one that's most commonly used, there's really no way to say it in the English. It means to be two standing or to be standing in two locations, to waiver, to not fully commit to one standing. Think of Peter, who stood on the water at first and made a commitment to follow Jesus, but then his other foot stood on the fear and the doubt of the moment. And so he fell into the waves. But what we see in this passage with Nicodemus and what we see in a moment in this passage with Mary and Martha is that there's two kinds of doubt that we see in scripture. And I'm gonna, for the sake of this moment, I'm gonna call one, I know doubt and one, believing doubt. And I know doubt, ask questions in order to challenge God, supposing that they are on the same level as God, but believing doubt, ask questions to know God. I know doubt brings questions to everybody but Jesus. I just wanna learn. So I'm asking questions to everybody except for Jesus himself, but believing doubt brings them right to Jesus. I know doubt questions God's character because they don't understand him, but believing doubt trusts God's character because he's beyond understanding. Believing doubt surrenders the need to know why before the person of Jesus. James 1.5 says, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generously without reproach. And it will be given to him, but let him ask in faith without doubting for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that's tossed and driven by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man. He's unstable in all of his ways. What we see about doubts and the way that Jesus ministers to us in them, it's okay to have them. It's not okay to hold them. It's okay to have them, but it's not okay to hold them. See, here's what Nicodemus has going for him. He's being pulled into this belief, but he still has doubts, but you know what? He goes to Jesus with those doubts. It's not having the absence of doubt. It's not allowing the doubt to create absence. Nicodemus said, I know, but Jesus says, yeah, but you don't believe. And this is the tricky thing with doubt. It's almost always conceived in the head because of veiled pain in the heart. It's hidden in intellectualism and intellectual thought, but its root is typically not there, but in the heart. There's a former Christian artist, worship leader that I used to really love and listen to, and he's fallen off the deep end. I mean, he's like Buddhist, a new age, I mean, just as out there, and he has podcasts, and the podcasts are very heady and intellectual, and he's talking about all these arguments for why the Bible isn't real, why Jesus isn't the Son of God. It's veiled in this pseudo-intellectualism, and he's a smart dude, he's a brilliant dude, and you would think that, well, maybe he stumbled on an argument, or he was like, oh, this person's so smart, they dismantled the truth of Jesus, but the reality is I heard an interview, and he talked about that his deconstruction began when he got married, and the dream of his heart was to have kids, and his wife found out that they were infertile. And it's so interesting to me because he talks about his now faith and deconstruction, living all in the mind, but the reality was that was just a mask for undoubt with pain and offense in the heart. And that's what we see, Jesus is in relentless pursuit over. So turn your Bibles to John 11. This is where we're gonna camp out for the rest of the message. This is a very precious passage to me, and I hope this morning as we see Jesus in it, we are also delivered from the veneer of doubt that can exist in our heart. John 11, verse one, now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary who anointed the feet of Jesus with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill, so the sister sent to him saying, Lord, he whom you love is ill, but when Jesus heard it, he said, this illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God so that the Son of God may be glorified through it. Now, Jesus loved Martha and her sister Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer to the place where he was and then skipped down to verse 14. Then Jesus told them plainly, Lazarus is dead. And for your sake, I am glad I was not there so that you may believe. This is a very confusing passage to me because in it you see Mary, Martha, Lazarus. These are Jesus's quote unquote best friends. When Jesus went to Jerusalem, he didn't stay at the nicest hotel. He went two miles down the road to Bethany and he stayed with his friends. These are people that he loved. And so when Lazarus became sick, Mary and Martha quickly sent a messenger to go and find Jesus because they knew he loved him. They knew he was a healer. They believed in him and therefore, they knew Jesus would come. And can you imagine the hope and the joy that they must have felt in their heart when this messenger came back and said, guess what? Not only is Jesus coming, but he gave us a promise and he said, this illness will not end in death. Oh my gosh, have you been in that place? Have you been in that place of confusion where there's fear and doubt and worry and in cuts a promise of God? There is no joy and peace that has felt like that. I just imagine them rejoicing and saying, okay Lazarus, don't worry, Jesus, he's on the way and he promised. He promised the sickness will not end in death. But then Lazarus continued to take a turn for the worse and Jesus stayed longer where he was at. He went out of his way to stay away from Lazarus. And Mary and Martha had to watch their brother get worse and worse and worse and worse. And in their hearts, they're not understanding. Why is Jesus not here? Why is Jesus not coming? He promised us this illness would not end in death. And then the moment of absolute doubt of confusion and Lazarus breathes his last, Lazarus is dead. And it appears for all intents and purposes to Mary and Martha that Jesus has lied and has not come through. I don't know about you, I don't know if you have ever been in that place where Jesus was four days too late. I know I have, I'm gonna open up and share some aspects about my life this morning that I kinda don't want you to be honest. But I really feel in my heart that Jesus wants to deal with undoubt, pain and doubt in our hearts. And many of you guys know that we have two kids, Aliyah and Jordan. Aliyah is our 10 year old who was adopted from birth and Jordan our six year old, our only biological kid. And he was born kind of out of a miracle. My wife and I have had a journey of infertility and for 10 years we had infertility issues and had pretty much all but given up on having any biological kids. And I had this encounter with the Lord in 2015 and I heard what I would call the internal audible voice of God where I heard it so clearly it was as if someone spoke it to me. And he said, Caleb, 2016 will be the year of new life and as a sign I keep my promises, you will bear a son and he will be Emmanuel, God is with you. And I don't know if you've been in that place where you've had hope and you've had disappointment but then you've settled in that place and then you're asked to hope again. And that's what we did in 2016 was a crazy year, halfway through the year, we weren't pregnant yet, I got viral meningitis, I almost died, I'm sitting there in the hospital saying, you said this is the year of new life, you have a really strange way of showing me what new life means. This looks like new death, not old new life. And at day 40 of that I got dramatically healed in another encounter with the Lord. No effects of meningitis and the next month when my wife and I had an appointment with a new fertility doctor in Denver, I hear a cry out of the bathroom in the morning and Rachel's holding a pregnancy test that says positive. And I remember we had a gender reveal party and everyone hated me at this party because I was like, I don't know why you guys are here, we already know it's a boy, God said it was gonna be a son and so everyone was like, I hope it's a girl, just so you're wrong. And soon enough the balloon pops and the blue confetti pops out and Aliyah bursts into tears because she wanted a sister so bad. And then in May of 2017, Jordan Emanuel was born to us and I just remember at the 12 month mark, the 18 month mark, there's just something about seeing the promise of God before your eyes that was just so incredible to see this statement that the Lord made and the follow through and Jordan was walking early and he was talking early and we were just marveling at the goodness of God and then right at the 18 month to 24 month mark, something started to happen where Jordan started talking less and he started listening to us less and he kind of started going into his own world and we didn't know what was happening. We thought maybe he was just stubborn like his mom but I'm just kidding, stubborn like me. She's imported, she can't defend herself, sorry babe. And I remember just that fear creeping into my heart that something was wrong but in my mind, this was a son of promise, surely there wasn't anything that was wrong and a few months later passed by and at the recommendation of our pediatrician, we took him to a specialist where he was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, 10 out of 10 on the spectrum on which they measured autism or the strongest they could detect within him and my world was devastated and my heart was devastated when I had to hear about all of the conditions and the difficulties and the challenges in life that he would face as I was inundated with the questions, would he ever talk again? Just little stuff as a father, would I ever hear the words, I love you? Would he ever be able to be married? Would he ever be able to live on his own and had to send him away at two years old to full-time therapy, which we're so grateful for, they've done such an incredible job but the difficulty of being a parent and sending your two year old away when they should be at home, playing and enjoying themselves to essentially work a full-time job just to build the building blocks of communication in that time and just through the weight of figuring out doctors and appointments and changing our life around. I mean, I was traveling multiple times a month for ministry and we had to change that. I mean, our home, we used to open it all the time for discipleship meetings and suddenly we had to change all these aspects of our life and the weight of it. I had such a deep grief in my heart that after a month or two, I just started experiencing a pretty severe depression where I didn't want to get up in the morning, where doing things like responding to texts were insurmountably difficult and painful and here I was in this moment, I was saying, Lord, this can't be happening. This is the time where I have to be the strongest for my family. I have to be the strongest for Jordan and have my legs cut out from underneath me. And I remember going to the Lord, going before Jesus and feeling that pain of Jesus, you were four days too late. I don't understand, you made a promise and it feels to me that you haven't followed through and you're not following through and this deep wrestle doubts that I didn't even know I had about what I personally believed about the goodness and kindness of God and of course I wasn't doubting the validity of the scriptures or my Christian faith but real doubts about how He loved me and how I believed He loved me rose in my heart and this next passage that I'm going to read has been where Jesus has personally met me, where He's delivered me, where He's brought so much healing and restoration to my heart but there was a process that Mary and Martha went through that I had to go through that we have to go through to get there and so John 11, if you're still there in chapter 20, you have to remember Lazarus is dead and Mary and Martha are just confused and so we see the responses. We see that I know doubt and we see the believing doubt on display. In verse 20 it says so when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died but even now, Lord, I know there's that word that whatever you ask from God, God will give you. Jesus said to her, your brother will rise again. Martha said, I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on that last day. Jesus said, I am the resurrection and the life whoever believes there's that word in me though he die yet shall he live and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this? And she said, yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ who's coming into the world. Now on the surface, this looks like faith but what Mary does is, Martha goes toe to toe with Jesus. She brings her accusation and a doubt and then she lets him off the hook immediately and she says, well, Lord, whatever you do, whatever you wanna do, your Lord. So she comes and presses in with this question and then she backs off it and Jesus goes, wait a second, Mary, you heard me promise that your brother will rise again. Do you believe this? And instead of wrestling with the doubt of Jesus, I don't know how to tell you this but I don't because Lazarus is dead. She goes, oh, Lord, I know on the last day he'll rise again. She gives a Christiane's answer. The facade of faith with doubt in the heart and Jesus again is pursuing her belief and says, no, no, no, Martha, don't give me that Christiane's answer. I am the resurrection and I am the life. Do you believe? And she goes, yes, Lord, I believe and you can do all things and gives the Christiane's answer and scurries away. And Jesus is unmoved and Lazarus stays in the grave. And this Martha approaches what so many of us do what I have done so many times where I might wanna vent my frustrations with a moment with the Lord but I don't wanna stay in the wrestle because I can't deal with the pain of releasing my doubt to Jesus and maybe I was wrong and have to face that pain and experience it. And so Mary put on a mask and a front and Jesus was unmoved and Lazarus stayed in the grave. Now go to verse 32. Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet saying to him, Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died. When Jesus saw her weeping in the Jews who had come with her also weeping he was deeply moved in his spirit and he was greatly troubled and he said, where have you laid him? And they said to him, Lord, come and see in the shortest yet one of the most powerful verses in all of scripture, Jesus wept. Mary and Martha brought the same phrase but from a different position. Martha was the I know girl. She has so many verses in scripture. Did you know this is the only recorded sentence from Mary in all of scripture? The only one. And Martha hid behind her religion and Mary let Jesus see her tears. Martha hid behind her strength but Mary let Jesus see her worship. Mary did two things that we have to do with our doubt and our pain. Number one, she exposed her doubts to the light of day. Do you remember what Nicodemus did? He came at night. He didn't want anyone else to see. You know what Mary did? In the moment where she was the most undignified where she was in pain and doubt and hurt she waited for Jesus to call and then instead of going toe to toe with Jesus and keeping her composure and hiding the doubt she to some humiliated the Son of God. She said, Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died and she collapses at his feet. She lets her pain and tears be seen. And beloved, let me tell you he cannot heal what you conceal. Your hidden pain and doubts will stay your hidden pain and doubts unless you let them out in the open. And many of you I believe are here today and there's been pain from disappointment. Maybe it's a divorce. Maybe it's a miscarriage. Maybe it's a death. Maybe it's losing a job. Maybe it's a bad breakup. And this morning there's some part of you that wants to just keep that hidden and say, well, no, I'm gonna put a christianese answer. Bless the Lord. God's good all the time. But inside you need to do what Mary did and you need to expose that pain to the light of day to your family, to your friends, to christian counselors, to those who can help bring healing and the second thing that she does so extraordinary is she puts herself at Jesus' feet with no plan B. Martha gave Jesus an out. Mary gave Jesus no out. She made a scene. She threw herself at his feet. You're gonna have to step over me, rebuke me or you're gonna have to do something because I'm staying right here. I don't understand. You made a promise and you didn't come through and I have confusion and doubt but I know who you are and I know you alone have the words of life and I know that I know that your words are true and so I don't understand but I'm planning myself right here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm at your feet and refusing to take your pain and to numb it and alcohol and drugs and whatever else or maybe it's just being withdrawn by saying Jesus, I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't know why you're not healing me. I don't know why you're not coming through in this way but I refuse to go anywhere else. I have no plan B and what we see next is to me one of the most extraordinary pictures in all of the scriptures. You know the phrase that he groaned within himself? It means that from his bowels he travailed and he cried out. Jesus did not do a little sniffle. Wiped the tear away. You ever weep so hard that you cried out? I remember I've been in that place. I wept so hard and I cried so hard that I try heaved. The tears that came out of Mary's eyes and soaked in Jesus's feet then came out the Son of Man and Mary got to see Jesus do something for her that we get to see through the cross but he hadn't gone there yet and Mary literally saw Jesus wear her grief. Do you remember what Isaiah 53 says about Jesus? Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrow and Jesus didn't skip to the resurrection. He didn't say, yeah, yeah, Mary, I get it. Quit your crying. I'll take care of this. But Jesus literally wore and bore and grieved to a deeper degree than Jesus himself grieved. And what Mary encountered in that place was a new aspect to the heart of God that nobody else had ever seen before. And I believe that was her healing and deliverance. It wasn't even the confirmation of the resurrection because she got to taste the glory and the beauty of the cross before anybody else. You know what Jesus said to Nicodemus? Do you remember verse 3, 14? Just like Moses lifted up the serpent so the Son of Man must be lifted up. What was that story? Well, in Numbers 21, the serpents had been released because Israel's rebellion and the people of God were dying because of the venom. And they held up more than just a rod but they fashioned a snake onto the rod and whoever saw this rod was healed. Now the rod is a picture of the cross. If you look to the cross, be healed. But there was more than just the rod, the serpent was on the rod. It wasn't enough for Israel to just see the cross in a general sense. They had to actually see the thing that was killing them, their sin, their pain, their grief on the cross to be healed. And for us to find our healing in our doubts and in our pain, it's not about getting our questions asked. It's looking at the Son of Man who didn't shoo us away when we had questions. It didn't push us away but literally bore our grief and our pain and experienced it to a deeper degree than we ever did so that we could be healed. But we have to see it on Him on the cross and not look away. It's kind of easy to look at the general sense Jesus who's dying for all the world's sin. But do you see your sin on the face of Jesus on the cross? Your pain and confusion where you don't understand where you feel that the Father turned His back on you, Jesus, the only man who ever had the Father turn His back on him, bore the pain of that rejection so that you can be healed so he can release healing to your heart. I wanna invite you to stand this morning. I know this is a heavy truth. What I've discovered over this past four years is this beautiful scripture that I wanna read to you. First Corinthians eight, one through three. Now concerning things offered to idols, we know that all have knowledge but knowledge puffs up, love edifies. And if anyone thinks he knows anything he knows nothing as he ought. But if anyone loves God, this one is known by him. Mary came in wanting her questions answered and she left not just knowing God but she was known by him. There is something deeper than getting the why of why your pain and suffering in circumstances happened. And it's letting yourself be seen at His feet so that you are then known by God. It's your shallow religion He wants to deliver you from. He delivered Jacob from it. When Jacob went into the wrestle wanting a blessing and he came out saying, what is your name? Where Job went in with a contract saying, God, you owe me right, you owe me blessing because I've been righteous. And then God shows his face and Job says, man, I've heard of you, I've observed you, I knew you but now my eyes have seen, now I've encountered now I see the point of this was that you were drawing close that this was an open door. And what Paul says, I wanna know you in the fellowship of your sufferings and the power of your resurrection. There is a doorway into knowing who God is and God knowing you that you can only walk through through pain and suffering. But there is no glory and there is no encounter with Jesus if that pain is hidden. And what we see this morning and I wanna invite the prayer team to come forward. I'm gonna pray and then dismiss but I really believe this morning that many of you have areas of veiled pain and doubt in your hearts. And this morning, Jesus cannot heal what you conceal. And what we see is a God who's not frustrated at you for not getting your act together but says I want you to come to me and when you come to me, I will literally bear your pain and then through the power of the cross, healing and resurrection may flow. I just wanna say this is the moment, this is the time. Maybe it's time to finally make that counseling appointment to talk to your spouse, to talk to your friend, to expose that thing you've been wrestling with that you're afraid to let see. And maybe this is your moment to come to Jesus and saying Lord, I've been like Martha and I've hidden in a religious veneer but now I wanna come to you for real and have you actually bear and pay for my pain and doubts. And what's beautiful is that Nicodemus came with this shallow knowing at first but we see that Nicodemus was one of the few that actually embalmed Jesus after he died. Do you know the other person other than Mary that had her fragrance on Jesus in the tomb was Nicodemus? Well, she was delivered because he saw what Jesus was talking about on the cross. And I challenge you to taste and see that he is good this morning. You're saying I've been struggling with this for so long and he hasn't healed me yet. Is it that he's not powerful enough or is it that you've used your strength to conceal that from him? So I'm gonna pray for us and release and I wanna encourage you if that's you to come forward this morning. There's healing and hope at the cross. There's resurrection on the other side that Jesus is not just patting you on the head but he wants to place his finger on it so that he can heal you and bring life but you gotta be real. You gotta bring it to him. You gotta bring it into the light. So Jesus this morning we come before you and we are just in awe at your beauty. It is so amazing to me that you are Emmanuel, God who came close. You didn't just walk with us but you bore our griefs and carried our sorrows. And we go before the man of sorrows this morning and Lord we repent for veiling ourselves from you. We repent for being like Nicodemus and Marthad, hiding our pain, hiding our doubts from you because of fear, because of unbelief. This morning Lord I just ask for courage right now to do what Mary did. Mary didn't care. She didn't care what anyone thought of her. She didn't care that it looked undignified. She didn't care what anyone else thought. She had to expose those hidden things and what she came out with was revelation of God knowing him and being known by him. Lord we want to know you. We want to know this beautiful man who's given his life for us, who's died and is raised from the dead. So Lord I just ask for your healing to flow this morning to every heart. God you know the pain, you know the difficulty, you know the trauma Lord. Mental health issues Lord, death. Family members walking away. Saying goodbye to a child Lord. Saying bye to a parent Lord. All of these areas Lord I just ask for your healing to flow this morning as we throw ourselves at your feet. In Jesus name. Amen.