 All right. Hey friends, this is Dan and Jordan Burke not Stephanie and We are you're watching behind the scenes divine intimacy radio. We're gonna start the show in just a minute But I wanted to tell you about a few very cool things opportunities for you to grow and your spiritual life at the 2022 Avalanche Summit is on spiritual warfare and It will the we'll have it a handful of well-known exorcists including father Chad Ripper is probably the best known and Stephanie now will also be speaking Father Dennis McManus if you've heard him is really quite remarkable best speaker. I've ever heard actually July 15th through the 17th and it's moved to the Catholic University of America With masses in the Basilica the National Shrine of the Macket conception the reason we moved it It's just we're having some challenges with our other venue But what the move did is allowed us to add about a hundred seats more than we had before So we were basically filled and now we have a hundred more seats And so if you want to come to this amazing summit on spiritual warfare where I think you'll hear a variety of powerful Perspectives that will surprise you Bishop Strickland's also Gonna be there as well So go to Avala no go to spiritualdirection.com forward slash events Or just you'll see the events to have the other event that we only have four Seats for four couples room for four more couples is divine intimacy and marriage retreat at The night of the shrine of the most blessed sacrament February 11th through the 13th So divine intimacy and marriage retreat only four more couples room for and then that's built And that is an amazing place to have a marriage retreat marriage treat is not Goofy stuff. No icebreakers. No making men act like women whatever What I've heard from multiple of my friends who are guys who speak very highly of the retreat, right? Yeah, women love it and men love it and mostly because we allow both to be the way God designed them Right rather than making men act like women, which is a lot of times what these retreats do Not picking on any particular retreat of course All right. Well, why don't we go ahead and jump into the show? Okay, and On your mark just leave it there on your mark. You had said go this is Dan and Jordan Burke Welcome to divine intimacy radio your radio haven abreast your hermitage of the heart Stephanie would say if she was right, I was gonna say or And then I would say your monastery of mine where we lift our hearts and minds to heaven to draw near to the one who has all the answers and We do that through the wisdom of the saints and through understanding of how God works our lives. So today Stephanie is gone. She's at a theology the body conference, which is awesome And she's reporting great things from from her learning there But I decided to take it easy on myself. Of course, I'm recovering from an accident so Jordan said hey or somebody said hey, you should interview Jordan. It wasn't me. It wasn't Jordan, right terrible at self-promotion. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't Jordan but and talk about his Ministry, which is called do the harder thing But I think which is an important ministry and we've adopted it and taken it under the wing of the Avala Institute Because of the fruits have just been remarkable. I think what we're gonna do is Let Jordan tell his story leading up to the establishment of this ministry because his story is one of You know great deal of suffering and in darkness He came out of the light and now is doing some things to help other guys get to the light So Jordan, why don't you I don't know tell folks a little about yourself. What are you 30 years old now? Yeah, 30 years old. Yeah, I was just too early for you. You had to you had to think about that Yeah, I never think about my age after after a certain day I think after like 25 you just kind of stop thinking about it. Well, certainly, that's true with me Yeah, no, so I guess a truncated version would be that I was uh, I guess we can start I was a police officer in Birmingham for five or six years something along those lines and In that time I those were my formative years I went into the Academy right before I turned 21 and then I from you know Those like adult formation years were spent on the streets of Birmingham And it just wasn't ideal and so alongside well So before you jump you kind of started later than I thought you would what what tell us about in that More in that time period. What was your faith like? Oh, it was it was practically non-existent It I didn't have so I I converted not too long after you thought it's awesome Catholicism. Yeah, I don't think it was too long after you had had converted think it was think you came in in 2009 I came down in 2005. I feel like it wasn't too long. Yeah after But I was going through the motions, you know, it wasn't anything that I took seriously I had no concept of what Catholicism was or meant Which is every time I say that it's interesting looking back and like you had set up a lot of fantastic resources my sponsor through RC It was awesome, you know, so it wasn't that I was hurt for Information or understanding it just I was not receptive to it. So my my converted anyway, right? Logically it made sense. So I had I had head knowledge. Yeah, okay This makes sense opposite or apostolic succession makes sense. Yeah, nothing else makes sense This does right, but it wasn't it wasn't a heart thing. Yeah, it wasn't a heart can be just right right in barely intellectual at that point right So I grasped onto it and I converted but I never lived it. It was it was church on Sundays Sunday obligation You know, what's your religion or your Catholic? But that was about it. There's not much more in between I don't even necessarily recall Going to confession. I don't recall, you know, a lot of those different things I had no concept of the fact that, you know, if I Guarantee you I received the Eucharist in a state of moral sin I had no concept of the fact of what that was the sacrilege involved all that source You know, it's crazy about that. We told I told you I know well Well, you say over and over and over right right, but you say all the time sin makes you stupid right in that time I was mired in all sorts of sin right very much relate to the prodigal son story going going out to the pigs and Essentially it just in a nutshell nutshell version of the story. I I Fell away from the faith. I was in a destructive relationship I caused a lot of pain and It ended in a divorce almost losing custody of my kid my daughter and it basically just it was I Stole this this description from somebody else, but it's there's a difference between being broken and being shattered Mm-hmm, right like I was broken and brought to my knees and then I was grounded to dust That's the level of pain and suffering that I went through You know, and it's important used just not to go too fast fast, right? You are not you don't blame anyone by yourself. No, it was it's entirely on me. Yeah, entirely on me. Yeah, I know there it's Yeah, I take full ownership of what happened because I had I been living The way that I was supposed to be living had I been living truly in the faith Had I been actually pursuing the faith? I would not have Made the decisions that I had made. Yeah, and you were married in the church, right? And you were a practicing Catholic, right and put that in quotes, right, right? You were but you're going through just kind of bare minimum motions. Yeah, I mean it like yeah It wasn't it wasn't the Christmas and Easter Catholic thing, but it wasn't You know, I mean it just wasn't serious. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't serious at all. So I Lost, you know, my my home it was all right sold it I didn't lose it But then the process had to sell the home that I'd worked hard on and yeah, you know the custody and all that kind of stuff And it was just incredibly it still is incredibly painful and a very hard situation But by the grace of God in the midst of that hardship I Was given multiple graces and I think it was Looking back. I think it was just that Even though I didn't Intellectually or even though I didn't have the understanding of the faith in my heart that I should have and I didn't live it I think even just that little bit of intellectual if you want to call it foundation was enough for me while I was on the ground You know, literally sobbing. I was able to call out and cry out to God and he was like, okay Okay, if you're if you need help, this is what we're doing if you want help Right now we're on my plan, right? We're not doing it your way anymore. I did not I did not will this for you Yeah, you know, you acted outside of my will right is really important. Okay, let's move forward. What's this is how we handle the situation What's next? And so that incorporated a lot of healing whether it was therapy that I was going through beforehand I've got I had to I was able to spend blessed to spend time with some of the greatest Addiction specialists on I think in the planet sexual addiction sexual addiction Yeah, phenomenal See stats amazing guys and a few other things. Yeah. Yeah, so let's go back again a little bit, right What's interesting is In my record in my recollection there were two Several key moments in your reversion sure That you that I think are important for our audience to know One was you were in a Protestant Church and you had a hunger for the Eucharist Yeah, so I had completely I'd completely left the Catholic Church and what's interesting was I think I've told you this I was working on writing something that said like oh these are the reasons I left the Catholic Church and it wasn't because I Was trying to prove a point I think I knew that I was fooling myself some way maybe subconsciously and I thought well, maybe if I write this down Get more real, you know, just lying to myself rational, right and text form. Just you know, it's still a lie So, yeah, I'd completely fallen away and was going to a non-denominational church and I remember So I was very angry with what I thought the church was and these lies and manipulations from the enemy lies That I told myself from manipulations from the enemy from the outside telling me different things Or misconceptions rather and I'm so I'm sitting in this service and I remember thinking I look clear as day. I had the thought in my head. I missed the Eucharist. It was just like that clears day And it was so clear and so profoundly different than what I was feeling Which was anger and frustration that I pause I thought where did that come from? Why do I miss the Eucharist? What does that mean? What? I'm ticked off at the church right now. Well, I don't understand what this means And so I had no choice but to really dive into that and try to figure out What is this calling that I'm feeling that's so profound that it's breaking through all of the sin It's breaking through all of my misunderstandings. It's breaking through it broke through everything This concept of I miss the Eucharist It wasn't I wish I could partake because they had you know Leaven to bread and grape juice. It's not not the same, right? But it was I miss the Eucharist There was this profound difference between what they say the Eucharist is well They don't even call it the right right call it communion, right? And what I know it to be right and that knowledge somehow in the depths of who I was again, like I said broke through Sin and broke through misunderstanding and broke through feelings and broke through anger broke through hatred And it was the reality that I needed to hear. Hey, this is Dan Burke and I'm with a special guest My son Jordan Burke were divine intimacy radio today. We're talking about his reversion. So the the So you're in that church and you come to that now You're free to disagree with me or say no, that's not right. I mean I does I'm I'm easy, right? but so I don't know if you remember but during your During the process of your ex-wife put that in quotes conversion in quotes as well I took you guys through a study on the Eucharist Brent P. Street, which is the best of the best, right? And also So did that affect you? And if not, that's fine I'm just asking or you may not know the other thing is Just and I'm just trying to give parents a little perspective as we're talking about your story There's other than one reason to talk about your story, right? But the other question I have is is how would you rate your formation in the home regarding the faith? If you could rate it on a scale Let's say a bcdf and I won't be offended. I promise, right? How did how would you rate how well you were formed? Spiritually so to the first question with dr. Petrie. He was fantastic and I like that course Oh, well, I don't remember half of it. Oh, that's the thing right sin makes you stupid, right? Right, I don't remember half of it, right But dr. Petrie is fantastic. I've listened to a lot of his stuff since my reversion and it's been really really helpful But that leads into your second question, which is how would you rate the the formation at home? It's not necessarily and I'm not trying to take like an easy way out. It's not how would I rate it? That's how receptive I was and the fact is I wasn't receptive, right? So you it could have been a plus teaching and I mean you like you said you provided Brant or Grant Brant Brant Petrie. Yeah, sorry, Brant Dr. Petrie, yeah, you know, which is a level formation along with the theology of the body stuff I remember the images of the courses, but I don't remember the courses because I was just so tuned out, right? So you probably provided a B level, you know if I was to guess just based on the resources that you use but the fact was I wasn't receptive So it doesn't matter how good it is. It's just like if the person is not receptive It's just not gonna get through so it's an important point parents, you know, you can't I would grade our formation in the home of B, right? I think we were struggling through so many things as a blended family and all that, right? That caused a lot of distraction. There's no excuses, but I'd rate it as B But um It's key for parents who are listening to understand No matter how good your formation is If your child your child still has to make a choice, right? They still have to choose they still have to say yeah, I want this right in order to truly receive it Right, right. So when we get back from the break, we'll continue with Jordan's Reversion back to the faith and then his work and helping other folks do the same. We'll be right back So Another one at the same distance probably fine. Okay So before we go back into the break friends out who are listening The other thing I want to tell you about so we mentioned before the show The Avalos summit divine intimacy marriage retreat And the Last two things I want to mention is pilgrimage to the holy land may 30th to june 8th So you want to join Stephanie and I to lead that pilgrimage? Who knows what's going to happen with kovat? We have had to reschedule But if you want to get on the list, you know, if you can't if you're not on the list, you can't go So if you're interested in going we will go eventually But right now it's scheduled for may 30th through june 8th and it's a it's a life It's going to be a life changing pilgrimage So spiritualdirection.com forward slash events last thing I'll mention One of the greatest but least known saints on the interior life is Saint Elizabeth of the trinity And there's an introductory course at the Avala Institute taught by Julie Ensler Which I don't have the date when that class starts, but Just go out to avala-institute.org and you can find that and it's a school of spiritual formation Which means if you're busy, you can do it. It's no big deal So, all right, let's go ahead and jump back in ready Welcome back to divine intimacy radio. This is dan and jordan Burke my our oldest Child jordan jordan is uh with us today to make my life a little easier stephanie's out Running around in the theology of the body conference gallivanting Theologically speaking And uh, so jordan agreed to make my life a little easier And I thought uh, one of the staff mentioned it would be great to have him on to share his testimony, but also His ministry work that he's doing for us and for the world So where we left off was you got some pretty good formation at home But you were not you were only I you weren't you look you didn't reject it because you would go to mass and I even saw you take solace in mass and in adoration at times When you were really struggling, but you you weren't truly an authentic disciple. Oh, yes right, so you were sort of Pre-pergative, you know baptized confirmed all that But not like all in not like a really true a true disciple of jesus So so we you wrecked your marriage. I'm just kind of bringing everyone up to speed And then what I want you to talk about and and I don't know if you'll remember what you said, but when I asked you What brought you back there were a handful of things we're going to talk about that the holy spirit Prompting you in that service to say this isn't the Eucharist, right? It's over there back where where you left, right? Right, so that was one And then you shared two others And and with me, but there may be more that you want to share one was your involvement in the Abba the summit the year that Father McManus spoke it was it was another spiritual warfare conference And how powerful it was to be around other people who were on fire and the second was was Stephanie's touch Yeah, okay, so that that's probably the the where we need to go next and as far as the timeline goes So just again, this is a truncated version. I've given some longer versions of my version story You can find on the website later But um, yeah, this isn't this is a key moment because at this point Um, it was just nothing but struggle and I was Say I was somewhat progressing out of the struggle, but it was still just every day was a nightmare struggle is Um, the pain I was experienced with the divorce that you're going on there Um, I was working 100 plus hour weeks I was I was working for y'all and then I was going and working. I had a handyman company Trying to make ends meet To pay for the therapists and those sorts of things as well as working on my own out Just trying to fulfill those obligations and duties and I was just worn out and broken. I was dodging your calls Um, I mean it was really kind of a treacherous situation And I don't think you guys knew exactly everything that was going on at the time. You knew something was wrong Yeah, obvious But you didn't know what that was because it's you can't hide that stuff I think it's so clear on people there's a bunch of people want to pretend they can hide it It's clear on your face when there's something. No, we knew you were busted, right, right So I don't remember exactly what prompted me to do this But I knew that I had to just come clean about everything. I I think even at that point I don't recall if I'd gone to to Bethesda or not And Bethesda is what that's the clinic in Tennessee that helps guys through everything from pornography addiction Which is what I was struggling with to um, uh like Guys who purchase prostitutes. I mean the wide range of things there. Yeah With the incredible incredible therapists and doctors there and it was profound healing. I mean it was profound Um They helped me clue into a lot of different things But anyway, I don't recall where that fell on on that But I knew that I had to to come to you guys and say like this is what's going on these This is where I'm at And so we went to the shrine of the most blessed sacrament or you you all happened to just be there And I said, hey, can we meet and you said, yeah, sure. We're at the shrine Which was about halfway from where I was living at the time So I met you guys there in a little room off the sanctuary And I just sat down and I just Told you everything And he laid out all of his sins with a level of courage that was mind-boggling I Stephanie said many times, you know, she had a period where You know, she she would tell you she was going to hell and she said I would never tell my parents what I was doing You know, yeah, just brutal. I just knew it had to be brutal and painful and everything that you had to Work through you had to embrace that pain right suffering to get everything right, right, right, okay Yeah, because if well, I wouldn't get into it, but that's my opinion. That's what carrying your cross means embracing your cross So I said everything and there's just this moment of silence And you were on one couch Stephanie was on the other And I just given you I'm just I'm crying. I'm thinking I'm gonna get fired I'm gonna be disowned whatever I didn't know what was coming, but I knew that I had to come clean about everything and uh Stephanie comes across and she sits because I had purposefully like put myself in the one chair that people couldn't sit next to me It's kind of like, you know, I just need to be by myself And so she comes and she sits on the table and she puts her hand on my hand, which was on my leg and uh There was this moment Because our her and my relationship was very tumultuous up until now. She's your stepmother. Right, right It was it was I don't know necessarily why But it was she treated you well. I mean, yeah, you know, she she she held you accountable Right, I think it was just she loves you like her own. Yes. I think it was just like my own issues. Yeah in a sense but She embraced me You know, and it was just like I don't I don't mean to say I don't mean to make it sound more dramatic than it was but I felt like there was like Something moved You know, something moved something happened to you. Yeah, it was like like I I keep the only thing I can think to describe it is like an electric shock because that's the only thing I can think of and I all I know is when I left when I was driving away from the shrine I remember driving away and looking through the windshield and looking up at the sky and thinking I've never seen the sky so blue I've never seen clouds so crisp and clean And from that day forward My even my mental clarity was at a sharpness level that I I don't think I've ever experienced And I I think there was some form of deliverance there. Interesting. There was just this this You know So she touched you right and in that moment It's like you got delivered right right and then you you've shared a little bit about What did that do to how you saw her in your relationship with her? Oh, we're Awesome. Yeah, like she's one of my favorite people We went to uh The jp2 center for healing healing the whole person retreat, which is another phenomenal, you know, yeah It was like we're best buddies now. Yeah You you you bring her a lot of joy and consolation. She tells me all the time. Yeah. Yeah, that's all So so that was part of it. I mean it was just these these simple steps and or I say simple these small steps That were big in a lot of ways and overcoming fear and emotion But also just God's grace being poured out through each time. I said yes Right because I didn't want to tell you guys everything Oh, maybe I did but I was afraid of what the outcome might be Yeah, but I knew it needed to happen. We didn't fire or disown you right? Clearly and I said yes And I said, okay, god, this is what you want. I'm gonna go do it and what happened grace upon grace upon grace upon grace was poured out Okay, this is what I want you to do. Okay, great grace upon grace upon grace Um, and then from there it was just this rocket ship. It was like It was like someone pulled poured rocket fuel on a fire like I had this tiny little Fire that was slowly, you know wood was being added kindling was being added these little things growing growing growing And from that point on it was just like, okay, we're done with the wood We're pouring gasoline on this thing and we're taking off. So based on the time I think we're gonna have to do it two shows which is fine So part one is a bit more of your conversion part two. We'll spend more time on The ministry gods led you into based on your own liberation and freedom, right? So You was that The at the shrine was that before or after Bethesda? I can't remember. I don't remember Yeah, and everything was kind of a fog as you say so as we say sin makes you stupid, right? But so anyway You you went in for sexual addiction treatment You had For pornography addiction. Sorry. No, I mean, it's it's similar but just so people don't think that Yeah, no, it's just clarification. What it is, right is what it is and you you didn't uh, well We won't go down that path. So you you had your conversion that happened the summit happened Now you're into a new world, right? Now you're see now Something happened that broke in you. So you're broken first like the prodigal son, right? And then somehow through all of that experience you end up back with the father in the in that story And of course, we're all rejoicing, right not knowing necessarily you're even trusting exact because you were You know, I you know, I've always been proud of you Um, there's always been good things in your life, but you are not fun. I can I can say no I was very painful. Yeah for a lot of people not just y'all. Yeah. No, of course In your your spouse at the time, right in particular. So So you have the conversion now you begin to Did you like Were you aware of like, okay, I need to rebuild my catholic faith. I need to reengage or How did you get strong enough to where you then started helping guys? Other guys get free. So it was interesting because I I knew that I needed more of God And I knew the direction I needed to go which was okay. Where is the Eucharist? Where is the body of Christ because that was the clear fundamental principle that really sparked a lot of Probably is what sparked the fire in general And so I started going back to mass Um, I went to a general confession right away. Thankfully with an exorcist, which was fantastic um So going back to mass starting really diving in taking it step by step And by that time, thankfully, I had at least one holy friend who was able to like say, hey, look, here's here's some guidance Maybe you should go here. Maybe you should go here. Check this out And I just started diving in the text and reading and I was so fascinated with the process that I learned at Bethesda I was really diving into that as well because Especially at that time, it's like you don't just go in your heel. That's not what happens. It's there to say, okay Let's diagnose Whatever is going on And then we're going to help you overcome that illness. It's just kind of like a doctor. What what's making you sick? Okay, here's the medication And it was interesting because at Bethesda, I'll never forget one of the guy one of the um the therapists We're talking and he goes Jordan, he said you do understand you're not addicted to porn I was like What? He goes, you're not addicted to any of this. He said what you're addicted to is affection He said because I've seen it and he lays it out. He's like you It's not you you're using this as an ebriation But it's not something that because there's we can go into the details. There's actual addiction scales But we'll do that we'll do that in the next show. Yeah, right But it wasn't I say addiction to make it easier for people to understand shorthand Yeah, but okay, so now how do you solve that whereas what wound you have my wound was self-worth Right. I have no worth. That's what the lie that I told myself leading to self-anebriation those sorts of things So I'm sorry. I kind of lost track of what what that's okay, you know Why don't we do this since we're coming to the end of the show? So and the next show what we'll do is dive into Your work to help guys get free of porn and and related things And it's even morphing into a broader Reality now do the harder thing or those who are listening you can find them out on instagram Do the harder thing on do the underscore harder thing do the underscore harder thing and then also We're now starting to promote it through spiritualdirection.com some of it. Yeah podcasts. Yeah So on the next show what we'll do is run through a little bit of how Finalizing how we got free and then how he began to help other guys get free from the same thing so Join us next time on divine intimacy radio and may the god of peace Make you perfect in holiness may he preserve you whole and entire spirit soul and body You're approachable at the coming of our lord jesus christ amen Don't undo the livestream yet if you haven't producer lady. So for those of you who want to hear right now the second show Pop out to spiritualdirection.com facebook page Define spiritualdirection.com and facebook page and watch that right away Eventually, both of these shows will be aired out on eWTN And if you're watching i mean on eWTN radio, sorry and if you're watching on youtube you can stay on youtube You can yeah, we'll post it on youtube as well. Okay, so either youtube spiritual direction youtube or spiritual direction facebook page All right, so we'll be we'll be coming back and within the next five minutes on in your first part two All right you can kill it