 Lecture 37, As-Salaam-Alaikum. Welcome to the virtual university's course on business and technical communication. In today's lecture, we are going to continue our language review and continue looking at sentences. We are going to look at sentence problems, which are caused due to lack of parallelism, problems because of choppy sentences. We are going to look at misplaced modifiers, how they can interrupt sentence structure. We are going to look at modifiers of nouns and adverb modifiers and see how we can use them effectively. We are also going to look at dangling modifiers. Another common error in sentences is the use of double negatives and we are going to look at how we can improve that. We are also going to look at inappropriate shifts within sentences. These shifts could be intense, mood, person or voice. We will learn about the correct use of sequence of tenses and pronoun reference. Pronoun reference problems could be caused because of unclear pronoun reference or broad pronoun reference and we will see what these two mean. We will also look at pronoun case. Let us have a look first at problems in sentences which are caused because of lack of parallelism. What do we mean by parallelism? Parallelism refers to the principle that parts of a sentence that are the same in function should be the same in structure. Words or phrases joined by a coordinating conjunction should have the same form. Basically, this means that the sentences should be parallel in whatever clauses that they have. All the clauses, all the phrases in a sentence should be parallel if they are performing a parallel function. Let us have a look at a few examples. An unacceptable sentence would be an important consideration in orthopedic surgery and how to implant prostheses is the possibility of infection. Now, in this example as you see there are two different phrases that are not parallel in structure. An important consideration in orthopedic surgery is one, the other is how to plant prostheses is the other and they are not in parallel structure. The improved version would be an important consideration in orthopedic surgery and prosthesis implants is the possibility of infection. Similarly, it would be unacceptable to say the comparison will cover possible mechanisms of change. This is a noun phrase how the fissures widen because of regional tectonic stress. This is a noun clause and are there changes in permeability from increased microcracking this is a question. Now, when you are listing three different things then again you will need to make sure that all the three different elements are parallel in structure. You cannot have one noun phrase, one as a noun clause and one as a question. Let us see how to improve this. It would be better to say the comparison will cover possible mechanisms of change, noun phrase hogya, fissures widening from regional tectonic stress, ye bhi noun phrase hogya and permeability from increased microcracking ye bhi noun phrase hogya. So, now all three are in have the same structure and they are performing the same function as in they are part of a list. When you are attempting to write sentences that are parallel make sure that all headings and subheadings are parallel with other headings and subheadings of the same level. Make sure all entries of the same level in an outline are parallel as well. Let us work on an example. It would be unacceptable to say three strategies for developing tooling systems for high speed machining and then the subheadings being how chemically stable materials are made, the other subheading being diffusion limited wear regimes. The first was a noun clause, second is a noun phrase and the third heading being isolate the tool from the workplace which is an imperative. Agar aap kye rahe hain aapki main heading has strategies for developing tooling systems aap hai aap teen different strategies batah rahe hain to aapki teeno different strategies yo hain wo different type ki nahi ho sakti. You cannot have one strategy phrased as a noun clause, one strategy phrased as a noun phrase and one strategy phrased as an imperative. Aapko teeno ko hi ek hi form mein deena padega. It would be more acceptable to say something like a main heading, aap deen strategies for developing tooling systems for high speed machining aap hai aap teeno strategies yo hain wo noun phrase ke toar pe deen, yaani aap kye hain chemically stable materials, diffusion limited wear regimes, aapne jo ke pehile noun phrase, noun clause tha, how chemically stable materials are made, isko aapne noun phrase kar diya, chemically stable materials bana diya, dosra to aap ka noun phrase tha hi, diffusion limited wear regimes aur tisra jo imperative tha isolate the tool from the workplace, isko bhi aap noun phrase banainge aur aap kahinge isolated tools from the workplace. Also you need to avoid choppy sentences, avoid using too many sentences that will create a choppy prose or a choppy effect in your prose. Choppy effect ka matlab ki aap hume pannai wale ko yeh lagin ki baar baar aapki baat kat rahi hai, vary your sentence types and combine short related sentences by making some elements dependent clauses or phrases. agar aapke sentences baat short short sentences sath sath aarein to kuch sentences ko aap combine ki jaye, kuch short sentences ko dependent clause ki jaye aur kuch ko independent ki jaye, ta ke aapke sentences me joh hai variety aasake, compare the following choppy sentences and their improved version. The weak version is on the screen in front of you, let us have a look at how this is improved. As you can see the short sentences have been combined to form slightly longer sentences and this gives much more cohesion and a much more effective impression of the sentence. Another problems with sentences in English is misplaced modifiers. This means that modifiers are not in the place where they should be, they are at some other place in the sentence. To ensure clarity place your modifiers clearly, make sure that your placement of modifiers does not interrupt the sentence structure or create ambiguity. If your modifier is not placed properly then it can do two things, it can either interrupt the sentence structure or it can create ambiguity which will mean that the sentence will not be very clear. Placing a modifier between the subject and the verb or between the verb and the direct object can weaken the structure of the sentence and it can make the sentence difficult to interpret. So try not to have your modifier between the subject and the verb. Also try not to have your modifier between the verb and the direct object because this will make your subject and verb continuity break or if your verb or direct object is unmodified then their connection will break or it will be difficult to interpret the sentence. In general the longer and more complicated the modifier the more it weakens the sentence. If your modifier is small then it will be difficult to interpret the sentence as much as it is complicated. As we have seen in the last lecture, we have seen stacked modifiers with the same modifier. Similarly, if your modifier is very long then it will have the same effect that it will not be clear what they are modifying and what it means. Although you can often get away with interrupting the structure of the sentence with a short one word modifier, adding a longer modifier significantly worsens the sentence. I had already told you in the lecture that you can use the modifier between the sentence but then the modifier should be small. If there is a long modifier between a sentence then the effect of the sentence will be broken. Modifiers of nouns should be placed either immediately before or immediately after the noun. If another phrase is allowed to separate the noun and its modifier, the modifier may be misinterpreted as applying to a noun in the separating phrase rather than to the original noun. So, try not to put any other phrase between the noun and the modifier. The modifier that is modifying the noun is close to the noun because if there is another phrase in the middle then the reader will not be able to know whether the modifier is modifying the original noun or modifying the noun in the phrase. Let us have a look at some examples. A weak sentence would be more than 750 metric tons of lead ingots were examined by the quality control inspectors that circled the base of the tower. This sentence says that ingots circled the base of the tower or quality control inspectors circled the base of the tower because when you say that so many ingots were examined by the inspectors that circled the base of the tower, it is the impression that the inspectors were circling the base of the tower. The improved version would be more than 750 metric tons of lead ingots that circled the base of the tower were examined by the quality control inspectors. Let us look at another example. For the most part, we considered computer simulations that mimic the lamprey's neural activity only. This sentence suggests that of more than one feature of the lamprey's behavior or more than one kind of activity, the investigation singled out neural activity. Again, possibly true, but that is not what the author wished to communicate. A core example, the Heron, Egret and Stork colonies in Everglades National Park that once each contained tens of thousands of birds whose bustling extravagance helped inspire the founding in 1905 of the National Association of Audubon Societies, later the National Audubon Society, have shrunk by 95% since the 1930s. Now, the improved version would be the bird colonies in Everglades National Park once each contained tens of thousands of birds whose bustling extravagance helped inspire the founding in 1905 of the National Association of Audubon Societies later the National Audubon Society, full stop. These colonies of Heron's Egrets and Stork have shrunk by 95% since the 1930s. Similarly, a weak sentence would be where you say, inventors unlocked more than a century ago the secrets of turning the sun's rays into mechanical power. Now, the improved way of saying this sentence would be, inventors unlocked the secrets of turning the sun's rays into mechanical power more than a century ago. Similarly, saying the ability to assemble structures at the atomic scale will require the development of molecular assemblers, tiny programmable robots able to precisely provide positional chemical bonding. The improved version would be the ability to assemble structures at the atomic scale will require the development of molecular assemblers, tiny programmable robots able to provide precise positional chemical bonding. To precisely provide chemical bonding, to provide precise positional chemical bonding, this made the sentence clearer. Now, adverb modifiers. We had talked about the nouns when we talked about modifiers. Now, let's talk about adverb modifiers. Adverbs should be placed as close as possible to the words or phrases that they modify. Adverbs, we know that adverbs are helping words which are used with some of the words to give additional meaning. They should be placed as close as possible to the words or phrases that they modify. If you allow an adverb to be separated from the word or phrase that it modifies, the interpretation of the adverb may become ambiguous. Just like when we modify a noun or something, it should be placed as close as possible to the words or phrases. Similarly, when we add an adverb to a phrase, it should be placed as close as possible to the words or phrases. Always place a quantity adverb immediately before the word that it modifies. Let's see the example of adverb modifiers. For all its richness, today's Everglades is a drastically diminished place. Now, drastically means to a great extent. Now, this is an adverb of quantity and it should be, as you see here, placed right before diminished. Be especially careful with the placement of adverbs only and just. These two adverbs are very important to keep in mind where you have placed them and used them. Because using them can change the meaning of the entire sentence. It can also make the meaning of the sentence ambiguous and change it to a great extent. Let's have a look at some examples where we are using only in different places in the same sentence. And let's see how that movement of that single adverb changes the complete meaning of the sentence. For the most part, we consider only computer simulations that mimic the lamprey's neural activity. This sentence suggests that of various simulations the investigators might have considered, they focused on just one, just of a certain sort. This is perhaps true, but not what the author wished to communicate. For the most part, we consider computer simulations that only mimic the lamprey's neural activity. This sentence suggests that some computer simulations might do more than mimic. This is nonsense, since all simulations just mimic the process that they are simulating. Similarly, changing the place of only again, for the most part, we consider computer simulations that mimic only the lamprey's neural activity. This is in fact how the author wrote the sentence. Though out of context, the sentence is still ambiguous. The point is that the neural activity only of the lamprey but not of other animals was the focus of the investigation or that only neural activity was to be simulated. As you can see, the only difference is that there is a special meaning and a special ambiguity. This is why we use it very carefully. When we talk of dangling modifiers, we have talked about misplaced modifiers. Now, when we talk of dangling modifiers, let's see what we mean by that. A dangling modifier or a modifier whose connection to the sentence is implied or intended but not actually made explicit is said to dangle. When a modifier whose connection to the sentence is implied or the writer has a connection to that modifier but the reader is not able to clear that connection. Then that modifier is dangling because it is not clearly visible in it. Dangling modifiers detract from the clarity of your writing. They take away from the clarity of your writing. So, you should make sure that your modifiers are properly connected to the words that they modify. To repair a dangling modifier, add a noun or phrase that the modifier was intended to modify in the first place and then rephrase the sentence accordingly. Whatever noun or phrase was intended to write as a writer, it was intended to modify this noun or phrase. Use that noun or phrase clearly in the sentence so that the reader knows what you are modifying. Let's have a look at an example where if the writer says when travelling at the speed of sound, the moon is approximately 320 hours away. Now this implies that the moon travels at the sound of speed whereas the moon does not travel at the sound of speed. The improved version would be an object travelling at the speed of sound will reach the moon in approximately 320 hours because when travelling at the sound of speed they don't know what is travelling. The moon is travelling. Also, try not to use double negatives. In fact, you should never use double negatives in your sentences. Use only one negative word to express a negative idea. In English, if you use two negatives, it makes a positive. Let's consider an example. It would be unacceptable to say the water management model simulated how water would flow through today's Everglades if all the pumps, gates and other water control devices had not never been built. Now, not never means at some time. So these two negatives made a positive. The acceptable sentence would be the water management model simulated how water would flow through today's Everglades if all the pumps, gates and other water control devices had never been built. Another commonly found mistake with sentences is that of faulty comparison. Where comparing one item with another can be a very powerful way of describing an object or a process. You need to be sure that what you are comparing is actually comparable with its counterpart. So all the things that are being compared need to be of the same type. To make your comparison effective, you must maintain parallelism in your comparison and include the basis of your comparison and ensure that your comparison is not ambiguous. When you construct a comparison, you must make the two items being compared parallel in structure. We just talked about parallelism at the beginning of this lecture. Whatever things are in one sentence whose function is one, their structure is one. Similarly, when we are comparing two items, the two items that are being compared should also be parallel. It would be unacceptable to say ecological modeling, which is a noun phrase, is even more difficult than to construct a hydrological model, which is an infinitive phrase. It would be more acceptable to say ecological modeling, which is a noun phrase, is even more difficult than hydrological modeling. This is also a noun phrase. Also, incomplete comparison detracts from the clarity of the writing. If your comparisons are not complete, then your writing is not clear. To be complete, a comparison must include both the item being compared and the item with which it is being compared. If you want your comparison to be complete, then you will include that item which you are comparing, but you have to keep in mind that that item is also included with which it is being compared. If both items are not included, then your comparison will be incomplete. If you leave out the main item being compared with, the reader will not understand your intended meaning. For example, it would be unacceptable to say ecological modeling is more difficult. More difficult than what? You have not explained what is more difficult than this. It would be acceptable to say ecological modeling is more difficult than hydrological modeling. Now, here you are comparing the two types of modeling. Similarly, it would be unacceptable to say ever since the early 1960s when the course of engineers completed the central and southern Florida flood control project. The area's fresh water has been shunted through 1,400 miles of canals and levees, 150 gates and spillways and 16 of the largest pumping stations. Now, the last one is the largest pumping stations where? Largest pumping stations in the project largest pumping stations in the area, largest pumping stations in the world. What are you comparing them with largest? Acceptable version would be ever since the early 1960s when the course of engineers completed the central and southern Florida flood control project. The area's fresh water has been shunted through 1,400 miles of canals and levees, 150 gates and spillways and 16 of the largest pumping stations in the world. Similarly, an unacceptable version would be the symposium revealed that more was known than realized. What are you trying to say here? Are you trying to say more was known than was accomplished or more was known than was thought? Are you taking the meaning of realize or the meaning of thought? Accepted way would be the symposium revealed that more was known than we realized. Also, von Neumann took a very different approach towards artificial intelligence, AI, than other computer scientists. Now here what are you trying to say? Are you trying to say that his approach towards AI was different from his approach towards other computer scientists or are you trying to say that his approach was different from the approach of other computer scientists? Are you trying to clarify what you are comparing with? Are you comparing von Neumann's approach towards other computer scientists or are you comparing his approach to other computer scientists? The acceptable form would be von Neumann took a very different approach towards AI than other computer scientists did. Are you comparing his approach to other computer scientists? So, this was when we talked about comparisons and how to make sure that the comparisons in your sentences were correct and that you were not missing out on what was being compared with and also that your comparisons were parallel in structure. Another common error is that of inappropriate in the tense of the sentence. You need to be consistent in your choice of tense, mood, person and voice. Shifting any of these categories without good reason will detract from the clarity of your writing again. As a general rule, verb tenses within a sentence of paragraph should be consistent. A shift in tense without reason distorts the sequence of events being described and will confuse your reader. If you shift your verb without any reason or tense then your readers will be confused about what was before and what was after. If you use past tense, then stay in past tense without any reason do not present tense or future tense. For example, let's have a look at a piece of writing where the tenses have shifted. It says, surgery made critical advances in the 19th century. The discovery of anesthesia by Crawford Long in 1842 gave doctors greater freedom to put their new anatomical knowledge to practical use. After Louis Pasteur discovered that microorganisms caused infections, Joseph Lister 1827 to 1912, a young Scottish surgeon realized that antiseptic surgical techniques would allow surgeons to suture wounds and avoid infection. Finally, Rwengen reports his discovery of X-rays in 1895 which is immediately put to practical use in surgical diagnosis. Now here, in the last sentence, present tense was used and present tense is not appropriate because what is mentioned are the past tense which should be present tense. Let's have a look at the improved version. Apart from being consistent in tense, you also need to be consistent in your choice of mood. A shift in mood without reason will confuse your readers. For example, do not combine an imperative clause with an indicative clause in the same sentence. We are going to have a look at an example which will make this clearer. It would be unacceptable to say read the instructions carefully which is imperative mood and then to continue the sentence in the indicative mood by saying and you must assemble the equipment completely before beginning the procedure. Here you have combined imperative or indicative. Now let's have a look at the acceptable version. It would be better to say read the instructions carefully and assemble the equipment completely. It would be better to say read the instructions carefully before beginning the procedure. Let's have a look at another example in which the mood is shifted and then let's have a look at the improved version of how the mood is the same. One use for van Neumann machines proposes a single space seed self-replicating factory that could be sent to another world where upon landing it will collect raw materials and build more copies of itself to accomplish some enormous engineering project. The acceptable version which does not shift is one use for van Neumann machines proposes a single space seed self-replicating factory that could be sent to another world where upon landing it would collect raw materials and build more copies of itself to accomplish some enormous engineering project. As you have seen here there is a parallelism between how the mood was shifting in the previous sentence. When you are choosing your tenses you need to choose the tenses of your verbs accurately to express the timing or the sequence of events that you are describing. Often the particular sequence of events that you are describing will require you to use several different verb phrases and verb tenses within a single sentence or paragraph. And then it is absolutely alright to shift your tenses because you have a particular reason. If what you are describing is a sequence of events in the past present or future then you can shift your tenses but if everything is in the past tense and you are shifting your tenses then that is wrong. You can shift your tenses although it is appropriate to vary your tenses in accordance with the actual timing of the events you should avoid shifting tenses unnecessarily. Be very clear in your mind that it is actually necessary to shift the tense here. If you cannot see a good reason to shift the tense then stick to the tense that you have been using. Pay special attention to how you express the sequence of events or the sequence of tenses when you are describing the timing of events or when you are paraphrasing ideas so that you are not shifting tenses at the wrong place so that your tense shifting is not irrelevant. Let us have a look at some examples where tense shifts are used incorrectly. Here it says on the screen before the development of anesthesia techniques surgeons would prepare their patients for surgery by getting them drunk. A better version, improved version would be before the development of anesthesia techniques, surgeons prepared their patients for surgery by getting them drunk. Similarly, at tomorrow's meeting she will officially announce she will be chosen yesterday to lead the government research project. Now here obviously the tense will be chosen does not match the word yesterday which is supposed to be in the past. So it would be acceptable to say at tomorrow's meeting she will officially announce she was chosen yesterday to lead the government research project. It would be similarly unacceptable to say the engineer informed us that she is not able to field test the device yesterday because it is raining. Here the tenses both the tenses used in the present but the sequence of events that is being talked about is in the past. So the tenses are not corresponding with the sequence of events. It would be more acceptable to say the engineer informed us that she was not able to field test the device yesterday because it was raining. If a previously spoken idea is a general fact that is always true or concerns a future event that has not yet occurred then you can either maintain the original verb tense of the idea or shift them to past tense to match the tense of the verb you used to introduce the idea. If you have already spoken about an idea and that is a general fact that is always true or something that concerns a future event but has not yet occurred then you can either use the tense of the verb or shift it to past tense so that the verb tense matches the original idea of the tense. Maintaining the original tense emphasizes the continuing validity of the idea whereas shifting the verb tense emphasizes the narrative quality of the paraphrase. As we will see in the next slide when the original tense is kept then the idea's validity is a continuation and when it is shifted then the narrative quality of the paraphrase has come. Now coming to pronoun reference pronoun reference refers to the identification of a pronoun with which with its intended antecedent the thing referring to matches the pronoun can identify with its antecedent or not. We call this pronoun reference. Two common problems in pronoun reference are unclear pronoun reference and broad pronoun reference. You need to make sure that all your pronouns are easily identified because if they are unclear or if they are too broad then the meaning will be lost. If your pronouns are unclear or are not matching with antecedent or are so broad that they can refer more than one thing in a sentence or paragraph then the meaning will not be so clear. Instead of a noun only if the connection with the intended antecedent is very clear. If you are using a pronoun then keep in mind that the place of the noun you are using then the reader will know clearly which pronoun is being mentioned. For example, if you are talking about someone's name you are talking about then keep in mind that the reader will also know which pronoun is being mentioned. Also make sure that no other nouns with the same gender and number appear between your pronoun and its intended antecedent. If between your pronoun and antecedent there is another type of pronoun whose gender or number is the same the pronoun you are giving then the reader will not know which pronoun is being mentioned. For example, as I said earlier you are talking about Salim and you are talking about him but if you are saying Salim went to the market he bought apples but if you are talking about Salim went to the market then someone else comes and then you are saying he bought apples then it will not be clear if you are saying Salim went to the market Altaf rode a bicycle he bought apples then he will not know if Salim bought a shape or Altaf bought it. So you need to be clear who it is that the pronoun is referring to. Similarly with number if you are using a the same paragraph or even within the same sentence then make sure that no other noun with the same number appears between those two because otherwise your pronoun reference will be unclear. Let us have a look at some examples which will make this concept clearer when a second character arrives at the port before the first character has been unloaded the port stores the second character in the same register overwriting it Now here you are using the pronoun of it but it is not clear what it is referring to a clear way would be when a second character arrives at the port before the first character has been unloaded the port stores the second character in the same register as the first one overwriting the first character here we have replaced it by the first character to make it clear that referring to. One main problem with the pronoun reference is also that the reference can be too broad. You will use a demonstrative pronoun only if the connection to the intended antecedent of the pronoun is quite strong. Otherwise, your pronouns reference will be too broad and thus become unclear. Let us have a look at what we mean by this and what we mean when we say demonstrative pronouns. The weak sentence is the sophisticated computer sound system lets the user input pitch and duration from the M-I-D-I keyboard. This facilitates musical transcription. Now, does the word this refer to the sophisticated computer sound system or does it refer to letting the user or does it refer to the inputting of pitch and duration? This is a demonstrative pronoun. The improved version would be sophisticated computer sound systems let the user input pitch and duration from the M-I-D-I keyboard. This direct input facilitates musical transcription. Now coming to pronoun case. A pronoun can appear in one of three cases. It can be subjective in which the pronoun functions as a subject. It can be objective in which the pronoun functions as an object and it can be possessive in which the pronoun functions as a possessor. We are going to have a look at a list which shows the subjective, objective and possessive forms of the personal pronouns. Subjective pronouns are I, you, he, she, it, we, they, who, whoever. Objective pronouns are me, you, him, her, it, us, them, home, whomever and possessive. My, your, his, her, it's, our, their, whose, whosoever. You need to be careful that you use these three different types of pronouns in the correct case and that you use them where they are appropriate. Otherwise you will be writing sentences which are unclear and the reference will not be effective. In this lecture we have learned how to improve our sentences by improving lack of parallelism, how to improve them by changing choppy sentences into better structured sentences, how to avoid misplaced modifiers which could be either because they are interrupting the sentence structure. Also we looked at modifiers of nouns and adverb modifiers. We also looked at dangling modifiers and how they can make for unclear sentences. We also looked at how to avoid the use of double negatives because two negatives or a double negative in a sentence actually leads to a positive meaning. We looked at inappropriate shifts in tense, mood, person and voice and also we looked at the sequence of tenses and how to make sure that we actually talk about the tenses at the same time in which they occur. We also looked at pronoun reference and how the incorrect use of pronouns can lead to unclear sentences. We talked of two basic reasons why pronouns could be used in a wrong manner. It could either be because of unclear pronoun reference or because of broad pronoun reference and then we looked at the different pronoun cases, the three types of pronoun cases, subjective, objective and possessive and we talked of how to use those in the appropriate way. With this we come to the end of our session on reviewing this language of sentences. In the next lecture we will go down to the micro level and looked at words and phrases and how we can employ those better to improve our language in our business and technical communication. Until then, Allah Hafiz.