 To be are ought to be This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Bruce Bell Meyers to be are ought to be By Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Everything was perfectly swell There were no prisons. No slums. No insane asylums. No cripples No poverty. No wars All diseases were conquered. So was old age Death barring accidents Was an adventure for volunteers The population of the United States was stabilized at 40 million souls One bright morning in the Chicago lying in hospital a man named Edward K. Welling, Jr. Waited for his wife to give birth He was the only man waiting. Not many people were born a day anymore Welling was 56 a mere stripling in a population whose average age was 129 X-rays had revealed that his wife was going to have triplets. The children would be his first Young Welling was hunched in his chair his head in his hand He was so rumpled so still and colorless had to be virtually invisible His camouflage was perfect since the waiting room had a disorderly and demoralized air too Chairs and ashtrays had been moved away from the walls The floor was paved with spattered drop-clothes The room was being redecorated It was being redecorated as a memorial to a man who had volunteered to die A sojonic old man about 200 years old sat on a stepladder Painting a mural he did not like Back in the days when people aged visibly his age would have been guessed at 35 or so Aging had touched him that much before the cure for aging was found The mural he was working on depicted a very neat garden Men and women and white doctors and nurses turned the soil planted seedlings sprayed bugs spread fertilizer Men and women in purple uniforms pulled up weeds cut down plants that were old and sickly raked leaves Carried refuse to trash burners Never never never not even in medieval Holland or old Japan had a garden been more formal better tended Every plant had all the loam light water air and nourishment it could use a Hospital orderly came down the corridor singing under his breath a popular song If you don't like my kisses honey, here's what I will do I go see a girl in purple kiss his sad world to do if you don't want my lovin Why should I take up all this space? I'll get off this old planet. Let them sweet baby have my place The orderly looked up at the mural and the muralist Look so real. He said you can practically imagine. I'm standing in the middle of it What makes you think you're not in it said the painter he gives a tyric smile. It's called the happy garden of life You know That's good all dr. It said the orderly he was referring to one of the male figures in white Whose head was a portrait of dr. Benjamin Hitts The hospital's chief obstetrician Hitts was a blindingly handsome man Lots of faces still to fill in said the orderly he meant that the faces of many of the figures in the mural were still blank All the blanks were to be filled in with portraits of important people On either the hospital staff or from the Chicago office of the Federal Bureau of Termination Must be nice to be able to make pictures that look like something said the orderly The painter's face curdled with scorn. You think I'm proud of this dog. He said you think this is my idea of what life really looks like What's your idea of what life looks like said the orderly the painter gestured in a foul drop cloth There's a good picture of it. He said frame that you'll have a picture a damn sight more honest than this one You're a gloomy old duck. Aren't you said the orderly that a crime said the painter the orderly shrug If you don't like it here grandpa He said and he finished the thought with a trick telephone number that people who don't want to live anymore We're supposed to call the zero in the telephone number. He pronounced ought the number was To be our ought to be It was the telephone number of an institution whose fanciful so briquettes included automatic birdland cannery cat box Do you lousy or easy go? Goodbye mother. Happy hooligan kiss me quick Lucky Pierre sheep dip wearing blender. We've no more and why worry To be or not to be was the telephone number of the municipal gas chambers of the Federal Bureau of Termination The painter thumbed his nose at the orderly when I decided it's time to go. He said it won't be at the sheep dip I'd do it yourself for a so the orderly messy business grandpa Why don't you have a little consideration for the people who have to clean up after you? the painter expressed With an obscenity his lack of concern for the tribulations of his survivors The world could do with a good deal more mess if you ask me he said The orderly laughed and moved on wailing the waiting father Mumbled something about without raising his head then he fell silent again a Course for a middable woman strode into the waiting room on spike heels Her shoes stockings trench coat bag and overseas cap were all purple The purple the painter called color a grapes on judgment day The medallion on her purple musette bag was the seal of the service division of the Federal Bureau of Termination an Eagle perched on a turnstile The woman had a lot of facial hair an unmistakable moustache in fact a curious thing about gas chamber Hostesses was that no matter how lovely and feminine they were when they were recruited They all sprouted mustaches within five years or so. Is this where I'm supposed to come? She said to the painter A lot would depend on what your business was. He said you aren't about to have a baby. Are you? They told me I was supposed to pose for some picture. She said my name's Leora Duncan She waited and you dunk people. He said what skip it. He said That sure is a beautiful picture. She says looks just like heaven or something Or something said the painter He took a list of names from his smock pocket Duncan Duncan Duncan. He said scanning the list. Yep. There you are You're entitled to be immortalized See your faceless body here. You'd like me to stick your head on we've got a few choice ones left She studied the mural bleakly. Gee. She said they're all the same to me. I I Don't know anything about art Body's a body. Yeah, he said all righty a master of fine art. I recommend this body here He indicated a faceless figure of a woman who was carrying dried stalks to a trash burner Well, said Leora Duncan, that's more the disposal people. Isn't it? I mean I'm in service. I don't do any disposing The painter clapped his hands and mocked a light Well, you say you don't know anything about art and then you prove the next breath And you know more about it than I do Of course the sheev carrier is wrong for a hostess a snipper a pruner. That's more your line He pointed to a figure in purple who was sawing a dead branch from an apple tree. How about her? He said you like her at all gosh, she said and she blushed and became humble well that Puts me right next to Dr. Hitz That upsets you. He said good gravy. No, she said it's just Just such an honor. Oh You admire him, huh? He said who doesn't admire him. She said Worshipping the portrait of Hitz it was the portrait of a tanned white haired omnipotent Zeus 240 years old who doesn't admire him. She said again He was responsible for setting up the very first gas chamber in Chicago Nothing would please me more said the painter than to put you next to him for all time sawing off a limb That strikes you as appropriate That is kind of like what I do. She said She was deburr about what she did What she did was make people comfortable while she killed them and While Leora Duncan was posing for her portrait into the waiting room bounded. Dr. Hitz himself He was seven feet tall and he boomed with importance accomplishments and the joy of living Well, miss Duncan miss Duncan. He said and he made a joke. What are you doing here? He said sitting where the people leave this is where they come in We're going to be in the same picture together. She said shyly good said dr. Hitz heartily and say isn't that some picture I Sure am honored to be in it with you. She said Let me tell you he said I'm honored to be in it with you without women like you this wonderful world We've got wouldn't be possible. He saluted her and moved towards the door that led to the delivery rooms Guess what was just born? He said I can't she said triplets triplets He said triplets. She said she was exclaiming over the legal implications of triplets The law said that no newborn child could survive unless the parents of the child could find someone who would volunteer to die Triplets if they were all to live called for three volunteers What do the parents have three volunteers said Leora Duncan Last I heard said dr. Hitz they had one and we're trying to scrape the other two up. I Don't think they made it. She said nobody made three appointments with us Nothing but singles going through today unless somebody called in after I left. What's the name? Welling so the waiting father sitting up red-eyed and frowsy Edward K. Welling, Jr. Is the name of the happy father to be he raised his right hand Looked at a spot on the wall gave a horse the record chuckle Present he said oh Dr. Welling said dr. Hitz. I didn't see you Invisible man said welling They just phoned me that your triplets have been born said dr. Hitz. They're all fine. So is the mother I'm on my way to see them now Hooray said welling amply you don't sound very happy said dr. Hitz What man in my shoes wouldn't be happy said welling he gestured with his hands to symbolize carefree simplicity All I have to do is pick out which one of the triplets is going to live and Then deliver my maternal grandfather to the happy hooligan and come back here with a receipt Dr. Hitz became rather severe with welling. He towered over him You don't believe in population control mr. Welling. He said I Think it's perfectly keen Said welling said welling totally Would you like to go back to the good old days on the population of the earth was 20 billion about to become 40 billion than 8 Billion and 160 billion. You know what a droplet is mr. Welling said dr. Hitz Nope said welling suckly a Droplet mr. Welling is one of the little knobs one of the little pulpy grains of a blackberry Said dr. Hitz Without population control human beings would now be packed on the surface of this old planet like droplets of a blackberry think of it Welling can hit you to stare at the same spot on the wall in the year 2000 Said dr. Hitz before scientists stepped in and laid down the law There wasn't even enough drinking water to go around and nothing to eat but seaweed and still people insisted on their right to Reproduce like jackrabbit's and they're right if possible to live forever. I Want those kids said welling quietly I want all three of them Of course you do to dr. Hitz. It's only human. I Don't want my grandfather to die either said welling Nobody's really happy about taking a close relative to the cat box. So dr. Hitz gently sympathetically People wouldn't call it that said lay or a Duncan What said dr. Hitz? I wish what people wouldn't call it the cat box and things like that. She said Gives people the wrong impression We're absolutely right. So dr. Hitz forgive me. He corrected himself Gave the municipal gas chambers their official title a title no one ever used in conversation. I Should have said ethical suicide studios. He said What it sounds so much better said lay on a Duncan This child of yours whichever one you decide to keep mr. Welling said dr. Hitz He or she is going to live in a happy roomy clean rich planet thanks to population control in a garden like that mural there He shook his head Two centuries ago when I was a young man. It was a hell that nobody thought could last another 20 years Now centuries of peace and plenty stretched before us as far as the imagination cares to travel smiled luminously The smile faded as he saw that welling had just drawn a revolver Welling shot dr. Hitz dead as room for one Great big one. He said Then he shot lay or a Duncan. It's only death. He said we're as she fell there room for two Then he shot himself Making room For all three of his children Nobody came running. Nobody seemingly heard the shots The painter sat on the top of a stepladder looking down reflectively on the sorry scene The painter pondered the mournful puzzle of life Demanding to be born and once born demanding to be fruitful To multiply and to live as long as possible to do all that on a very small planet That would have to last forever All the answers that the painter could think of were grim even grimmer surely than a cat box a happy hooligan an easy go He thought of war. He thought of plague. He thought of starvation He knew that he would never paint again He let his paint rush fall to the drop-claws below and then he decided he'd had about enough of life in the happy garden Of life too and he came slowly down from the ladder He took Welling's pistol Really intending to shoot himself But he didn't have the nerve Then he saw the telephone booth in the corner of the room. He went to it dialed the well-remembered number To be our ought to be Federal Bureau of Termination said the very warm voice of a hostess Well, soon could I get an appointment? He asked speaking very carefully We could probably fit you in late this afternoon, sir. She said might even be earlier if we get a cancellation All right, said the painter fit me in if you please. He gave his name spelling it out Thank you, sir said the hostess your city. Thanks you your country. Thanks you your planet. Thanks you But the deepest thanks of all is from future generations end of to be our ought to be By Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Recording by Bruce Bell Meyers This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org the answer by H beam Piper read by Nicodemus For a moment after the screen door snapped and wakened him Lee Richardson sat breathless and motionless His eyes still closed trying desperately to cling to the dream and printed upon his conscious memory before it faded Are you there Lee? He heard Alexis Pitoff's voice Yes, I'm here. What time is it? He asked and then added I fell asleep. I was dreaming It was all right. He was going to be able to remember He could still see the slim woman with the graying blonde hair playing with the little doxened among the new fallen leaves on the lawn He was glad they'd both been in this dream together These dream glimpses were all he'd had for the last 15 years and they were too precious to lose He opened his eyes The Russian was sitting just outside the light from the open door of the bungalow lighting a cigarette For a moment. He could see the blocky high-cheeked face Now pouched and wrinkled and then the flame went out and there was only the red coal glowing in the darkness He closed his eyes again and the dream picture came back to him The woman catching the little dog and raising her head as though to speak to him Plenty of time yet Pitoff was speaking German instead of Spanish as they always did between themselves They're still counting down from minus three hours. I just phoned the launching site for a Jeep Eugenio has been there ever since dinner. They say he's running around like a cat looking for a place to have a first litter of kittens He chuckled this would be something new for Eugenio Galvez for which he could be thankful. I Hope the generators don't develop any last second bugs He said we'll only be a mile and a half away That'll be too close to 50 kilos of mega matter if the field collapses It'll be all right. Pitoff assured him The bugs have all been chased out years ago Not out of those generators in the rocket. They're new He fumbled in his coat pocket for his pipe and tobacco. I never thought I'd run another nuclear bomb test as long as I lived Lee Pitoff was shocked. You mustn't call it that it isn't that at all. It's purely a scientific experiment Wasn't that all any of them were? We made lots of experiments like this back before 1969 The memories of all those other tests each ending in an Everest high mushroom column rose in his mind on the end result The United States in the Soviet Union blasted to rubble a whole hemisphere pushed back into the dark ages a quarter of a billion dead Including a slim woman with graying blonde hair and a little red dog and a girl from Odessa whom Alexis Pitoff had been going to marry Forgive me Alexis. I just couldn't help remembering. I suppose it's this shot. We're going to make tonight It's so much like the other ones before he hesitated slightly Before the Auburn bomb There he'd come out and said it and all the years they'd worked together at the Instituto Argentino de Ciencia Fisica That had been unmentioned between them The families of hanged cutthroats avoid mention of ropes and knives He thumbed the old-fashioned American lighter and held it to his pipe Across the veranda in the darkness. He knew that Pitoff was looking intently at him You've been thinking about that lately, haven't you the Russian asked and then timidly was that what you were dreaming of? Oh No, thank heaven. I Think about it too always. I suppose he seemed relieved now that it had been brought out into the open and can be discussed You saw it fall didn't you? That's right from about 30 miles away a little closer than will be to this shot tonight. I Was in charge of the investigation at Auburn until we had New York and Washington and Detroit and Mobile and San Francisco to worry about Then what happened to Auburn wasn't important anymore We were trying to get evidence to lay before the United Nations We kept at it for about 12 hours after the United Nations had ceased to exist. I Could never understand about that Lee. I don't know what the truth is I probably never shall but I know that my government did not launch that missile During the first days after yours began coming in I talked to people who had been in the Kremlin at the time One had been in the presence of Klizenko himself when the news of your bombardment arrived He said that Klizenko was absolutely stunned We always believe that your government decided upon a preventive surprise attack and picked out a town Auburn, New York that had been hit by one of our first retaliation missiles and claimed that it had been hit first He shook his head Auburn was hit an hour before the first American missile was launched. I know that to be a fact We could never understand why you launched just that one and no more until after hours began landing on you Why you threw away the advantage of surprise and priority of attack Because we didn't do it Lee The Russians voice trembled with earnestness. You believe me when I tell you that Yes, I believe you After all that happened and all that you and I and the people you work with and the people I work with and your Government and mine have been guilty of it would be a waste of breath for either of us to try to lie to the other About what happened 15 years ago? He drew slowly on his pipe But who launched it then it had to be launched by somebody Don't you think I've been tormenting myself with that question for the last 15 years bit off demanded You know, there were people inside the Soviet Union not many and they kept themselves well hidden Who were dedicated to the overthrow of the Soviet regime? They or some of them might have thought that the devastation of both our countries and the obliteration of civilization in the northern hemisphere Would be a cheap price to pay for ending the rule of the Communist Party Could they have built an ICBM with a thermonuclear warhead in secret? He asked There were also fanatical nationalist groups in Europe both sides of the iron curtain who might have thought our mutual destruction would be worth the risks involved There was China in India if your country and mine wiped each other out they could go back to the old ways in the old traditions Or Japan or the Muslim States in the end. They all went down along with us. But what criminal ever expects to fall? We have too many suspects in the trails too cold Alexis That rocket wouldn't have had to have been launched anywhere in the northern hemisphere For instance our friends here in the Argentine have been doing very well by themselves since El Coloso del Norte went down And there were the Australians picking themselves up bargains in real estate in the East Indies at gunpoint and there were the bowers trekking north again in tanks instead of ox wagons and Brazil with a not too implausible pretender to the Purganda throne calling itself the Portuguese Empire and looking eastward and To complete the picture here were professor Dr. Lee Richardson and comrade professor Alexis Petrovich Pitov Getting ready to test the missile with a matter annihilation warhead No, this thing just wasn't a weapon a Jeep came around the corner lighting the dark roadway between the bungalows its radio on and counting down 22 minutes 21 59 58 57 It came to a stop in front of their bungalow at exactly minus two hours 21 minutes 54 seconds The driver called out in Spanish. Dr. Richardson. Dr. Pitov. Are you ready? Yes, ready. We're coming They both got to their feet Richardson pulling himself up reluctantly the older you get the harder it is to leave a comfortable chair He settled himself beside his colleague and former enemy and the Jeep started again Rolling between the buildings of the living quarters area and out onto the long straight road across the Pampas towards the distant plays of electric lights He wondered why he had been thinking so much lately about the Auburn bomb He'd questioned at times Indignantly of course whether Russia had launched it, but it wasn't until tonight Until he had heard what Pitov had had to say that he seriously doubted it Pitov wouldn't lie about it and Pitov would have been in a position to have known the truth if the missile had been launched from Russia Then he stopped thinking about what was water or blood a long time over the dam The special policemen at the entrance to the launching site reminded them that they were both smoking When they extinguished respectively their cigarette and pipe He waved the Jeep on and went back to his argument the carload of tourists who wanted to get a good view of the launching There now Lee do you need anything else to convince you that this isn't a weapon project Pitov asked? No now that you mention it. I don't You know, I don't believe I've had to show an identity card the whole time. I've been here I don't believe I have an identity card Pitov said think of that The lights blazed everywhere around them, but mostly about the rocket that towered above everything else so thick it seemed squat The gantry cranes had been hauled away now and it stood alone, but it was still wreathed in thick electric cables They were pouring enough current into that thing to light half the street lights in Buenos Aires When the cables were blown free by separation charges at the blast off The generators powered by the rocket engines had better be able to take over Because if the magnetic field collapsed and that 50 kilo chunk of negative proton matter came in contact with natural positive proton matter An old-fashioned H bomb would be a firecracker to what would happen Just 100 kilos of pure 200 proof MC2 The driver took them around the rocket Dodging assorted trucks and mobile machinery that were being hurried out of the way The countdown was just beyond two hours five minutes The Jeep stopped at the edge of a crowd around three more trucks and Dr. Eugenio Galvez the director of the Institute Left the crowd and approached at an awkward half run as they got down Is everything checked gentlemen? He wanted to know it was this afternoon at 1730. Pitov told him And nobody's been burning my telephone to report anything different are the balloons and the drone planes ready The Air Force has just finished checking. They're ready Captain Urquiola flew one of the planes over the course and made a guidance tape That's been duplicated and all the planes are equipped with copies How's the wind Richardson asked? Still steady. We won't have any trouble about fallout or with the balloons Then we better go back to the bunker and make sure everybody is there on the job The loudspeaker was counting down to two hours one minute Could you spare a few minutes to talk to the press Eugenio Galvez asked and perhaps say a few words for telecast This last is most important. We can't explain too many times the purpose of this experiment There is still much hostility arising from fear that we are testing a nuclear weapon The press and telecast services were well represented They were close to a hundred correspondence from all over South America from South Africa in Australia Even one from Ceylon They had three trucks with mobile telecast pickups and when they saw who was approaching they released the two rocketry experts They had been quizzing and pounced on the new victims Was there any possibility that negative proton matter might be used as a weapon Anything could be used as a weapon you could stab a man to death with that lead pencil You're using pitt off replied, but I doubt if mega matter will ever be so used We're certainly not working on weapons design here We started six years ago with the ability to produce negative protons Reverse spin neutrons and positrons and the theoretical possibility of assembling them into mega matter We have just gotten a 50 kilogram mass of mega iron assembled and those six years We had to invent all our techniques and design all our equipment If we'd been insane enough to want to build a nuclear weapon after what we went through up north We could have done so from memory and designed a better which is to say a worse one from memory in a few days Yes, and building a mega matter bomb for military purposes would be like digging a 50 foot shaft to get a rock to bash somebody's head in When you could do the job better with the shovel you're digging with Richardson added the time money energy and work We put in on this thing would be ample to construct 20 thermonuclear bombs and that's only a small part of it He went on to tell them about the magnetic bottle inside the rocket's warhead Mentioning how much electric current was needed to keep up the magnetic field that insulated the mega matter from contact with posi matter Then what was the purpose of this experiment dr. Richardson? Oh We were just trying to find out a few basic facts about natural structure Long ago is realized that the nucleonic particles protons neutrons mezons and so on must have structure of their own Since we started constructing negative proton matter We found out a few things about nucleonic structure some rather odd things including fractions of Planck's constant a couple of the Correspondents a man from La Prensa and an Australian whistled softly the others looked blank Pitoff took over You see gentlemen most of what we learned we learned from putting mega matter atoms together We annihilated a few of them over there in that little concrete building We have one of the most massive steel vaults in the world where we do that But we assembled millions of them for every one we annihilated and that chunk of mega iron inside the magnetic bottle kept growing And when you have a piece of mega matter you don't want you can't just throw it out on the scrap pile We might have rocketed it into escape velocity and let it blow up in space away from the moon or any of the artificial satellites But why waste it so we're gonna have the rocket eject it and when it falls we can see by our telemetered instruments just what happens Well, won't it be annihilated by contact with atmosphere somebody asked That's one of the things we want to find out Pitoff said We estimate about 20% loss from contact with atmosphere But the mass that actually lands on the target area should be about 40 kilos It should be something of a spectacle coming down You say you had to assemble it after creating the negative protons and neutrons and the positrons Doesn't any of this sort of matter exist in nature The man who asked that knew better himself. He just wanted the answer on the record. Oh No, not on this planet and probably not in the galaxy There may be whole galaxies composed of nothing but mega matter There may even be isolated stars and planetary systems inside our galaxy composed of mega matter though I think that very improbable But when mega matter and posi matter come into contact with one another the result is immediate mutual annihilation They managed to get away from the press and returned as far as the bunkers a mile and a half away Before they went inside Richardson glanced up at the sky Fixing the location of a few of the more conspicuous stars in his mind There were almost a hundred men and women inside each at his or her instruments few screens radar indicators detection instruments of a dozen kind The reporters and telecast people arrived shortly after a new GDO Galvez took them in tow While Richardson and Pithoff were making their last minute rounds the countdown progressed past minus one hour and At minus 20 minutes all the overhead lights went off and the small instrument operators lights came on Pithoff turned on a couple of view screens One from a pickup on the roof of the bunker and another from the launching pad They sat down side-by-side and waited Richardson got his pipe out and began loading it the loudspeaker was saying minus two minutes 159 58 57 He let his mind drift away from the test back to the world that had been smashed around his ears in the autumn of 1969 he was doing that so often now when he should be thinking about two seconds one second firing It was a second later that his eyes focused on the left hand view screen Red and yellow flames were gushing out of the bottom of the rocket and it was beginning to tremble Then the upper jets the ones that furnished power for the generators began firing He looked anxiously at the meters the generators were building up power Finally when he was sure that the rocket would be blasting off anyhow The separator charges fired and the heavy cables fell away an instant later The big missile started inching upward gaining speed by the second first slowly and jerkily and then more rapidly Until it passed out of the field of the pickup He watched the rising spout of fire from the other screen until it passed from sight By that time Pithoff had twisted a dial and gotten another view on the left hand screen this time from close to the target That camera was radar controlled it had fastened on to the approaching missile which was still invisible The stars swung slowly across the screen until Richardson recognized the ones he had spotted at the zenith in a moment Now the rocket a hundred miles overhead would be nosing down and then the warhead would open and the magnetic field inside Would alter and the massive mega matter would be ejected the stars were blotted out by a sudden glow of light Even at a hundred miles. There was enough atmospheric density to produce considerable energy release Pithoff beside him was muttering partly in German and partly in Russian most of what Richardson caught was figures Trying to calculate how much of the mass of unnatural iron would get down for the ground blast Then the right hand screen broke into a wriggling orgy of color and at the same time every scrap of radio transmitted apparatus Either went out or began reporting erratically The left hand screen connected by wiring to the pickup on the roof was still functioning For a moment Richardson wondered what was going on and then shocked recognition drove that from his mind as he stared at the ever-brightening glare in the sky It was the Auburn bomb again He was back in memory to the night on the shore of Lake Ontario The party breaking up in the early hours of morning He and Janet and the people with whom they had been spending a vacation week Standing on the lawn as the guests were getting into their cars and then the sudden light in the sky The cries of surprise and then of alarm as it seemed to be rushing straight down upon them He and Janet clutching each other and staring up in terror at the falling blaze from which there seemed no escape Then relief as it curved away from them and fell to the south and then the explosion lighting the whole southern sky There was a similar explosion in the screen when the mass of mega iron landed a Sheet of pure white light so bright and so quick as to almost pass above the limit of visibility And then a moment's darkness that was in his stunned eyes more than in the screen and then the rising glow of up drawn incandescent dust Before the sound waves had reached them He had been legging it into the house the television had been on and it had been acting as insanely as a screen on his right now He had called the state police The telephones had been working alright and told them who he was and they had told him to stay put and they'd send a car for him They did within minutes Janet and his host and hostess had waited with him on the lawn until it came and after he had gotten into it He had turned around and looked back through the rear window and seen Janet standing under the front light Holding the little dog in her arms plopping one of its silly little paws up and down with her hand to wave goodbye to him He had seen her and the dog like that every day of his life for the last 15 years What kind of radiation are you getting he could hear Alexis Pithoff asking into a phone what nothing else? Oh Yes, of course, but mostly cosmic that shouldn't last long He turned from the phone a devil's own dose of cosmic and some gamma It was the cosmic radiation that put the radios and telescreens out That's why I insisted that the drone planes be independent of radio control They always got cosmic radiation from the micro annihilations in the test fault well now They had an idea of what produced natural cosmic rays There must be quite a bit of mega matter and posi matter going into mutual annihilation and total energy released through the universe Of course, there were no detectors set up in advance around Auburn He said we didn't really begin to find anything out for half an hour By that time the cosmic radiation was over and we weren't getting anything but gamma What what has Auburn to do the Russians stopped short? You think this was the same thing? He gave it a moment's consideration Lee you're crazy. There wasn't an atom of artificial mega matter in the world in 1969 Nobody had made any before us We gave each other some scientific surprises then but nobody surprised both of us You and I between us knew everything that was going on in nuclear physics in the world And you know as well as I do a voice came out of the public speaker Some of the radio equipment around the target area that wasn't knocked out by the blast is beginning to function again There was an increasingly heavy gamma radiation, but no more cosmic rays They were all prompt radiation from the annihilation the gamma is secondary effect Wait a moment captain. Urkeola of the Air Force says that the first drone plane is about to take off It had been two hours after the blast that the first drones had gone over what had been Auburn, New York He was trying to remember as exactly as possible what had been learned from them Gamma radiation a great deal of gamma, but it didn't last long It had been almost down to a safe level by the time the investigation had been called off and two months after there Have been no more missiles and no way of producing more and no targets to send them against if they had them Rather he had been back at Auburn on his hopeless quest and there have been almost no trace of radiation Nothing but a wide shallow crater almost 200 feet in diameter and only 15 at its deepest Already full of water and a circle of flattened and scattered rubble for a mile and a half around it He was willing to bet anything that that was what they'd find with chunk of mega iron had landed 50 miles away on the Pampus Well the first drone ought to be over the target area before long and at least one of the balloons that had been sent Up was reporting its course by radio The radios and the others were silent and the recording counters had probably jammed in all of them There'd be something of interest when the first drone came back He dragged his mind back to the present and went to work with Alex's pit-off They were at it all night checking evaluating making sure that the masses of data that were coming in were being promptly Processed for programming the computers at each of the increasingly frequent coffee breaks. You notice pit-off looking curiously He said nothing. However until long after dawn They stood outside the bunker waiting for the Jeep that would take them back to their bungalow and watching the line of trucks Argentine army engineers locally hired laborers load after load of prefab huts and equipment Going down toward the target area where they would be working for the next week Lee were you serious pit-off asked. I mean about this being like the one at Auburn It was exactly like Auburn even that blazing light that came rushing down out of the sky I wondered about that at the time what kind of a missile would produce an effect like that now I know we just launched one like it But that's impossible. I told you between us. We know everything that was happening in nuclear physics then Nobody in the world knew how to assemble atoms of mega matter and build them into masses Nobody and nothing on this planet built that mass of mega matter. I doubt if it even came from this galaxy But we didn't know that then When that mega matter meteor fell the only thing anybody could think of was that it had been a soviet missile If it had hit around Leningrad or Moscow or Karkov Who would you have blamed it on? end of the answer by H beam Piper read by Nicodemus the blue tower by Evelyn E. Smith This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org read by Betsy Bush in Market, Michigan November 2007 the blue tower by Evelyn E. Smith as The vastly advanced guardians of mankind the Belfins knew how to make a lesson stick but whom Ludovic Eversole sat in the golden sunshine outside his house Writing a poem as he watched the street flow gently past him There were very few people on it for he lived in a slow part of town and Those who went in for travel generally preferred streets where the pace was quicker Moreover on a sultry spring afternoon like this one there would be few people wandering abroad Most would be lying on sun-kissed white beaches or in sun-drenched parks or for those who did not fancy being either Kissed or drenched by the sun basking in the comfort of their own air-conditioned villas Some would like Ludovic be writing poems others composing symphonies still others painting pictures Those who are without creative talent or the inclination to indulge it would be relaxing their well-kept golden bodies In whatever surroundings they had chosen to spend this particular one of the perfect days That stretched in an unbroken line before every member of the human race from the cradle to the crematorium Only the Belfins were much in evidence only the Belfins had duties to perform only the Belfins worked Ludovic stretched his own well-kept golden body and rejoiced in the knowing that he was a man and not a Belfin Immediately afterward he was sorry for the heartless thought Didn't the Belfins work only to serve humanity how ungrateful then it was to gloat over them Besides he comforted himself Probably if the truth was known the Belfins liked to work He hailed a passing Belfin for assurance on this point courteous like all members of his species the creature leaped from the street and listened attentively to the young man's question We Belfins have but one like and one dislike he replied we like what is right and we dislike what is wrong But how do you tell what is right and what is wrong Ludovic persisted We know The Belfin said gazing reverently across the city to the blue spire of the tower where the Belfin of Belfins dwelt in constant communication with every member of his race at all times or so they said That is why we were placed in charge of humanity Some day you too may advance to the point where you know and we shall return once we came But who placed you in charge Ludovic asked and whence did you come? Fearing he might seem motivated by vulgar curiosity. He explained. I am doing research for an epic poem a Lifetime spent under their gentle guardianship had made Ludovic able to interpret the expression that filtered across this Belfins front piece as a sad sweet smile We come from beyond the stars. He said Ludovic already knew that he had hoped for something a little more specific We were placed in power by those who had to the right and the power through which we rule is the power of love be happy and With that conventional farewell which also served as a greeting. He stepped on to the sidewalk and was born off Ludovic looked after him pensively for a moment then shrugged Why should the Belfins surrender their secrets to gratify the idle curiosity of a poet? Ludovic packed his portable scriptwriter in its case and went to call on the girl next door whom he loved with a deep and Intermittently-requited passion as he passed between the tall columns leading into the Flockhart courtyard He noted with regret that there were quite a number of Coruscans relatives present lying about sunning themselves and sipping beverages Which probably touched the legal limit of intoxicability Much as he hated to think harshly of anyone he did not like Coruscant Flockhart's relatives He had never known anybody who had as many relatives as she did and sometimes he suspected they were not all related to her Then he would dismiss the thought as unworthy of him or any right-thinking human being He loved Coruscant for herself alone and not for her family Whether they were actually her family or not was none of his business Be happy. He greeted the assemblage cordially sitting down beside Coruscant on the tessellated pavement Bah! said old Osmond Flockhart Coruscant's grandfather Ludovic was sure that underneath his crustiness the gnarled patriarch hid a heart of gold Although he had been mining assiduously the young man had not been able to strike that vein However, he did not give up hope for not giving up hope was one of the principles that his wise old Belphin teacher had inculcated in him other principles were to lead the good life and keep healthy Now grandfather Coruscant said no matter what your politics that does not excuse impoliteness Ludovic wished she would not allude so blatantly to politics because he had a lurking notion that Coruscant's Family was in fact a band of conspirators such as still dotted the green and pleasant planet and proved by their Existence that man was not advancing anywhere within measurable distance of that totality of knowledge implied by the Belphin You could tell malcontents even if they did not voice their dissatisfactions by their faces The vast majority of the human race living good and happy lives had smooth and pleasant faces Malcontents faces were lined and sometimes in extreme cases furrowed Everyone could easily tell who they were by looking at them and most people avoided them It was not that griping was illegal for the Belphins permitted free speech and reasonable conspiracy It was that such behavior was considered ungentile Ludovic would never have dreamed of associating with this set of neighbors once he had discovered their tendencies Had he not lost his heart to the purple-eyed Coruscant at their first meeting Politeness bah old Osmond said to see a healthy young man simply Simply accepting the status quo If the status quo is a good status quo Ludovic said uneasily for he did not like to discuss such subjects Why should I not accept it? We have everything we could possibly want. What do we lack? Our freedom Osmond retorted But we are free Ludovic said perplexed we can say what we like do what we like so long as it is Consonant with the public good But who determines what is consonant with the public good? Ludovic could no longer temporize with truth even for Coruscant's sake Look here old man. I have read books. I know about the old days before the Belphins came from the stars Men were destroying themselves quickly through wars or slowly through want. There is none of that anymore All lies and exaggeration Old Osmond said my grandfather told me that when the Belphins took over earth They rewrote all the textbooks to suit their own purposes now nothing but Belphin propaganda is taught in the schools But surely some of what they teach about the past must be true Ludovic insisted and today every one of us has enough to eat and drink a place to live Beautiful garments to wear and all the time in the world to utilize as he chooses in all sorts of pleasant activities What is missing? They've taken away our frontiers Behind his back Coruscant made a little filial face at Ludovic Ludovic tried to make the old man see reason But I'm happy and everybody is happy except except a few killjoys like you They certainly did a good job of brainwashing you boy Osmond sighed and of most of the young ones He added mournfully with each succeeding generation more of our heritage is lost He patted the girl's hand. You're a good girl, Cory. You don't hold with this being cared for like some damn pet poodle Never mind Osmond ever soul one of course and alleged uncle's grinned He talks a lot, but of course he doesn't mean a quarter of what he says come have some wine He handed a glass to Ludovic Ludovic sipped and coughed it tasted as if it were well above the legal alcohol limit But he didn't like to say anything They were taking an awful risk though doing a thing like that and if they got caught They might receive a public scolding which was of course no more than they deserved But he could not bear to think of course and exposed to such an ordeal It's only reasonable the uncle went on that older people should have a thing about being governed by foreigners Ludovic smiled and set his nearly full glass down on a plinth. You could hardly call the Belfins foreigners They've been on earth longer than even the oldest of us You seem to be pretty chummy with them the uncle said looking narrow-eyed at Ludovic No more so than any other loyal citizen Ludovic replied The uncle sat up and wrapped his arms around his thick bare legs He was a powerful hairy brute of a creature who had not taken advantage of the numerous cosmetic techniques offered by the benevolent Belfins Don't you think it's funny. They can breathe our air so easily Why shouldn't they Ludovic bit into an apple that Coruscant handed him from one of the dishes of fruit and other Delicacies strewn about the courtyard. It's excellent air. He continued through a full mouth Especially now that it's all purified. I understand that in the old days Yes, the uncle said but don't you think it's a coincidence. They breathe exactly the same kind of air we do Considering they claim to come from another solar system No coincidence at all said Ludovic shortly no longer able to pretend He didn't know what the other was getting at he had heard of the ugly rumor before Of course sacrilege was not illegal, but it was in bad taste Only one combination of elements spawns intelligent life They say the uncle continued impervious to Ludovic's unconcealed dislike for the subject that there's really only one Belfin who lives in the blue tower in a tank or something because he can't breathe our Atmosphere and that the others are a sort of robot he sends out to do his work for him Nonsense Ludovic was goaded to irritation at last How could a robot have that delicate play of expression that subtle economy of movement? Coruscant and the uncle exchanged glances, but they are absolutely blank The uncle began hesitantly perhaps with your rich poetic imagination See old Osmond remarked with satisfaction the kids brainwashed. I told you so Even if the Belfin is a single entity Ludovic went on that doesn't necessarily make him less benevolent He was again interrupted by the grandfather. I won't listen to any more of this twaddle Benevolent bah He or she or it or them is or are Just plain exploiting us taking our mineral resources away I've seen them loading ore on the spaceships and and Exchanging it for other resources from the stars Ludovic said tightly without which we would be technologically back in the dark ages from which they rescued us It's not the stuff. They bring in from outside that runs this technology the uncle said it's some power They've got that we can't seem to figure out though. Lord knows. We've tried he addict musingly Of course, they have their own source of power Ludovic informed them smiling to himself for his old Belfin teacher Had taken great care to instill a sense of humor into him a Belfin was explaining that to me only today Twenty heads swiveled toward him. He felt uncomfortable for he was a modest young man And did not like to be the sinister of all eyes Tell us dear boy the uncle said grabbing Ludovic's glass from the plinth and filling it. What exactly did he say? He said the Belfins rule through the power of love The glass crashed to the tesserae as the uncle uttered a very unworthy word And I suppose it was love that killed Mike's a law and George when they tried to storm the blue tower Old Osmond began then halted at the looks he was getting from everybody Ludovic could no longer pretend his neighbors were a group of eccentrics whom he himself was eccentric enough to regard as charming So he stood up and wrapped his mantle about him I knew you were against the government and of course you have a legal right to disagree with its policies But I didn't think you were actual actual He dredged a word up out of his school days and Arquists He turned to the girl who was looking thoughtful as she stroked the glittering jewel that always hung at her neck Coruscant how can you stay with these he found another word these subversives She smiled sadly. Don't forget. They're my family Ludovic and I owe them dutiful respect No matter how pig-headed they are she pressed his hand, but don't give up hope That rang a bell inside his brain. I won't he vowed giving her hand a return squeeze. I promise I won't Outside the Flockhart villa. He paused struggling with his inner self It was an unworthy thing to inform upon one's neighbors on the other hand Could he stand idly by and let those neighbors attempt to destroy the social order? Deciding that the greater good was the more important and that moreover it was the only way of taking Coruscant away from all this He went in search of a belfin. That is he waited until one glided past and called to him to leave the walk I wish to report a conspiracy at number seven mimosa lane. He said the girl is innocent But the others are in it to the hilt The belfin appeared to think for a minute. Then he gave off a smile Oh them he said we know they are harmless Harmless Ludovic repeated why I understand they've already tried to to attack the blue tower by force Quite and failed for we are protected from hostile forces as you were told earlier by the power of love Ludovic knew of course that the belfin used the word love Metaphorically that the tower was protected by a series of highly efficient barriers of force to repel attackers Barriers which he realized now from the sad fate of Michelin and George were potentially lethal However, he did not blame the belfin for being so cagey about his racist source of power Not with people like the flock hearts running about subverting and whatnot You certainly do have a wonderful intercommunication system. He murmured Everything about us is wonderful. The belfin said noncommittally. That's why we're so good to you people be happy and he was off But Ludovic could not be happy. He wasn't precisely sad yet, but he was thoughtful Of course the belfins knew better than he did, but still Perhaps they underestimated the seriousness of the flock heart conspiracy On the other hand, perhaps it was he who was taking the flock hearts too seriously Maybe he should investigate further before doing anything rash Later that night he slipped over to the flock heart villa and nosed about in the courtyard until he found the window Behind which the family was conspiring He peered through a chink in the curtains so he could both see and hear Coruscant was saying and so I think there is a lot in what Ludovic said Bless her he thought emotionally even in the midst of her plotting. She had time to spare a kind word for him and Then it hit him She too was a plotter You suggest that we tried to turn the power of love against the belfins the uncle asked ironically Coruscant gave a rippling laugh as she twirled her glittering pendant In a matter of speaking she said I have an idea for a secret weapon which might do the trick At that moment Ludovic stumbled over a jug which some careless relative had apparently left lying about the courtyard It crashed to the tesserae spattering Ludovic's legs and sandals with a liquid which later proved to be extremely red wine There's someone outside the uncle declared half rising Nonsense Coruscant said putting her hand on his shoulder. I didn't hear anything The uncle looked dubious and Ludovic thought it prudent to withdraw at this point Besides he had heard enough Coruscant his Coruscant was an integral part of the conspiracy He lay down to sleep that night to be set by doubts if he told the belfins about the conspiracy He would be betraying Coruscant as a matter of fact. He now remembered He had already told them about the conspiracy and they hadn't believed him But supposing he could convince them How could he give Coruscant up to them? True it was the right thing to do but for the first time in his life He could not bring himself to do what he knew to be right He was weak And weakness was sinful his old belfin teacher had taught him that too As Ludovic writhed restlessly upon his bed. He became aware that someone had come into his chamber Ludovic a soft beloved voice whispered I have come to ask your help It was so dark. He could not see her He knew where she was only by the glitter of the jewel on her neck chain as it arped through the blackness Coruscant he breathed Ludovic she sighed Now that the amenities were over she resumed Against my will I have been involved in the family plot My uncle has invented a secret weapon which he believes will counteract the power of the barriers But I thought you devised it So it was you in the courtyard Well, what happened was I wanted to gain time So I said I had a secret weapon of my own invention which I had not perfected But which would cost considerably less than my uncle's model We have to watch the budget, you know because we can hardly expect the belfins to supply the components for this job Anyhow, I thought that while my folks were waiting for me to finish it. You would have a chance to warn the belfins Coruscant he murmured you are as noble and clever as you are beautiful Then he caught the full import of her remarks Me, but they won't pay any attention to me How do you know when he remained silent? She said I Suppose you've already tried to warn them about us. I I said you had nothing to do with the plot That was good of you. She continued in a warmer tone. How many belfins did you warn then? Just one when you tell one something you tell them all you know that everyone knows that That's just theory. She said it's never been proven All we do know is that they have some sort of central clearinghouse of information Presumably the belfin of belfins, but we don't know that they are incapable of thinking or acting individually We don't really know much about them at all. They're very secretive Aloof he corrected her as befits a ruling race, but always affable You must warn as many belfins as you can and if none listens to me Then she said dramatically you must approach the belfin of belfins himself But no human being has ever come near him. He said plaintively You know that all those who have tried perished and that can't be a rumor because your grandfather said But they came to attack the belfin You're coming to warn him that makes a big difference Ludovic she took his hands in hers in the darkness the jewel swung madly on her presumably heaving bosom This is bigger than both of us. It's for earth He knew it was his patriotic duty to do as she said still he had enjoyed life so much Coruscant wouldn't it be much simpler if we just destroyed your uncle's secret weapon He'd only make another don't you see Ludovic? This is our only chance to save the belfins to save humanity, but of course I don't have the right to send you I'll go myself No Coruscant he sighed. I can't let you go. I'll do it Next morning he set out to warn belfins He knew it wasn't much use, but it was all he could do The first half doesn't responded in much the same way the belfin He had warned the previous day had done by courteously acknowledging his solicitude and assuring him There was no need for alarm. They knew all about the flock hearts and everything would be all right After that they started to get increasingly huffy which would he thought Substantiate the theory that they were all part of one vast coordinate network of identity Especially since each belfin behaved as if Ludovic had been repeatedly annoying him Finally they refused to get off the walks when he hailed them which was unheard of for no Belfin had ever before failed to respond to an earthman's call and when he started running along the walks after them They ran much faster than he could At last he gave up and wandered about the city for hours speaking to neither human nor belfin Wondering what to do. That is he knew what he had to do. He was wondering how to do it He would never be able to reach the belfin of belfins. No human being had ever done it Michelin and George had died trying to reach him or it Even though their intentions had been hostile and Ludovics would be helpful. There was little chance He would be allowed to reach the belfin with all the other belfins against him What guarantee was there that the belfin would not be against him too and yet? He knew that he would have to risk his life There was no help for it. He had never wanted to be a hero and here he had heroism thrust upon him He knew he could not succeed Equally well. He knew he could not turn back for his belfin teacher had instructed him in the meaning of duty It was twilight when he approached the blue tower Commending himself to the infinite virtue. He entered The belfin at the reception desk did not give off the customary smiling expression In fact, he seemed to radiate a curiously apprehensive aura Go back young man. He said you're not wanted here. I Must see the belfin of belfins. I must warn him against the Flockhearts He has been warned the receptionist told him go home and be happy. I Don't trust you or your brothers. I must see the belfin himself Suddenly this particular belfin lost his commanding manners. He began to wilt in so far as so rigidly constructed a creature could go limp Please we've done so much for you. Do this for us The Belfin of belfins did things for us Ludovic countered you are all only his followers How do I know you are really following him? How do I know you haven't turned against him? Without giving the creature a chance to answer he strode forward the belfin attempted to bar his way Ludovic knew one belfin was a myriad at times as strong as a human So it was out of utter futility that he struck The belfin collapsed completely flying apart in a welter of fragile springs and gears The fact was of some deeper significance Ludovic knew but he was too numbed by his incredible success to be able to think clearly All he knew was that the belfin would be able to explain things to him Bells began to clash and clang that meant the force barriers had gone up He could see the shimmering insubstance of the first one before him Squaring his shoulders. He charged it and walked right through He looked himself up and down. He was alive and entire Then the whole thing was a fraud the barriers were not lethal or perhaps even actual But what of nixula and George and countless rumored others He would not let himself even try to think of them He would not let himself even try to think of anything save his duty a Staircase spiraled up ahead of him a belfin was at its foot behind him a barrier iridesced Please young man the belfin began you don't understand. Let me explain But Ludovic destroyed the thing before it could say anything further and he passed right through the barrier He had to get to the top and warn the belfin of belfins Whoever or whatever he or it was that the flock hearts had a secret weapon which might be able to annihilate it or him Belfin after belfin Ludovic destroyed and barrier after barrier he penetrate until he reached the top At the head of the stairs was a vast golden door Go no further Ludovic ever saw a mighty voice roared from within To open that door is to bring disaster upon your race But all Ludovic knew was that he had to get to the belfin within and warn him He battered down the door. That is he would have battered down the door if it had not turned out to be unlocked a Stream of noxious vapor rushed out of the opening causing him to black out When he came to most of the vapor had dissipated the belfin of belfins was already dying of Affiliation since it was in fact a single alien entity who breathed another combination of elements The room at the head of the stairs had been its tank You fool it gasped through your muddle-headed integrity. You have destroyed not only me But earth's future. I tried to make this planet a better place for humanity and This is my reward But I don't understand Ludovic wept. Why did you let me do it? Why were mikshala in George and all the others killed? Why was it that I could pass the barriers and they could not? The barriers were triggered to respond to hostility You meant well So our defenses could not work Ludovic had to bend low to hear the creature's last words there is Earth proverb Should have warned me I Protect myself against my enemies But who will protect me from my friends? The belfin of belfins died in Ludovic's arms He was the last of his race so far as earth was concerned For no more came if as they had said themselves Some outside power had sent them to take care of the human race Then that power had given up the race is a bad job If they were merely exploiting earth as the malcontents had kept suggesting Apparently it had proven too dangerous or too costly a venture Shortly after the belfin's demise the flock hearts arrived on mass We won't need your secret weapon now Ludovic told them dally the belfin of belfins is dead Coruscant gave one of the rippling laughs he was to grow to hate so much Darling you were my secret weapon all along She beamed at her relatives and it was then he noticed the faint lines of her forehead. I Told you I could use the power of love to destroy the belfins and then she added gently I think there is no doubt who is head of this family now The uncle gave a strained laugh You're going to have a great little first lady there boy. He said to Ludovic First lady Ludovic repeated still absorbed in his grief Yes, I imagine the people will want to make you our first president by popular acclaim Ludovic looked at him through a haze of tears But I killed the belfin. I didn't mean to but they must hate me Nonsense my boy. They'll adore you. You'll be a hero Events proved him right Even those people who had lived in apparent content under the belfins Accepting what they were given and seemingly enjoying their carefree lives now declared themselves to have been suffering in silent resentment all along They hurled flowers and adultery speeches at Ludovic and composed extremely flattering songs about him Shortly after he was universally acclaimed president. He married Coruscant. He couldn't escape Why doesn't she become president herself he wailed when the relatives came and found him hiding in the ruins of the blue tower The people had torn the tower down as soon as they were sure of the belfin was dead and the others thereby rendered inoperant It would spare her a lot of bother Because she is not the belfin slayer the uncle said dragging him outside Besides she loves you. Come on Ludovic be a man So they hauled him off to the wedding and amid much feasting. He was married to Coruscant He never drew another happy breath in the first place now that the belfin was dead All the machinery that had been operated by him stopped and no one knew how to fix it The sidewalks stopped moving the air conditioners stopped conditioning the food synthesizers stopped synthesizing and so on and of course Everybody blamed it all on Ludovic Even that year's run of bad weather There were famines riots plagues and after the waves of mob hostility had coalesced into national groupings wars It was like the old days again precisely as described in the textbooks In the second place Ludovic never forgot that when Coruscant had sent him to the blue tower She could not have been sure that her secret weapon would work Love might not have conquered all in fact It was the more likely hypothesis that it wouldn't and he would have been killed by the first barrier and No husband likes to think that his wife thinks he's expendable. It makes him feel she doesn't really love him So in 30th year of his reign as dictator of earth Ludovic poisoned Coruscant That is had her poisoned for by now he had a minister of assassination to handle such little matters and Married a very pretty very young very affectionate blonde He wasn't particularly happy with her either, but at least it was a change End of the blue tower by Evelyn E. Smith This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Redden recorded by Betsy Bush Marquette, Michigan September 2007 bread overhead by Fritz Lieber The staff of life suddenly and disconcertingly sprouted wings and mankind had to eat crow As a blisteringly hot but guaranteed weather controlled future summer day dawned on the Mississippi Valley The walking mills of puffy products spiked to loaf in one operation began to tread delicately on their centipede legs across the wheat fields of Kansas The walking mills resembled fat metal serpents rather larger than those Chinese paper Dragons animated by files of men in procession Sensory robot devices in their noses informed them that the waiting wheat had reached ripe perfection as They advanced their heads swung lazily from side to side very much like snakes Gobbling the yellow grain in their throats It was threshed the chaff bundled and burped aside for pickup by the crawl trucks of a chemical corporation The kernels quick dried and blown along into the mighty chests of the machines There the tireless mills ground the kernels to flower which was instantly sifted the brand being packaged and Dropped like the chaff for pickup a cluster of tanks which gave the metal serpents a decidedly humpbacked appearance added water Shortening salt and other ingredients some named and some not The dough was at the same time infused with gas from a tank conspicuously labeled carbon dioxide No yeast creatures in your bread Thus instantly risen the dough was clipped into loaves and shot into Radionic ovens forming the mid sections of the metal serpents There the bread was baked in a matter of seconds a fierce heat front browning the crusts and the piping hot loaves Sealed in transparent plastic bearing the proud puffy loaf emblem two cherubs circling a floating loaf and Ejected onto the delivery platform at each serpents rear end or a cluster of pickup machines like hungry piglets snatched at the loaves with hygienic claws a Few loaves would be hurried off for the day's consumption the majority stored for winter in strategically located mammoth deep freezes But now behold a wonder as loaves began to appear on the delivery platform of the first walking mill to get into action They did not linger on the conveyor belt But rose gently into the air and slowly traveled off downwind across the hot rippling fields The robot claws of the pickup machines clutched in vain and not noticing the difference proceeded carefully to stack Emptiness tear by tear One errant loaf rising more sluggishly than its fellows was snagged by a thrusting claw the machine paused Clumsily wiped off the injured loaf set it aside where it bobbed on one corner Unable to take off again and went back to the work of storing nothingness a Flock of crows rose from the trees of a nearby shelter belt as the flight of loaves approached The crows swooped to investigate and then suddenly scattered screeching in panic The helicopter of a hangover ish Sunday traveler bound for Wichita Shied very similarly from the brown flyers and did not return for a second look a Black haired housewife spied them over her back fence Crossed herself and grabbed her walkie-talkie from the laundry basket Seconds later the yawning correspondent of a regional newspaper was jotting down the lead of a humorous news story Which recalling the old flying saucer scares stated that now apparently bread was to be included in the mad aerial tea party The congregation of an open-walled country church Standing up to recite the most familiar of Christian prayers had just reached the petition for daily Sustainance when a sub-flight of the loaves either forced down by a vagrant wind or lacking the natural buoyancy of the rest Came coasting silently as the sunbeams between the graceful pillars at the altar end of the building Meanwhile the main flight now Augmented by other bread flocks from scores and hundreds of walking mills that had started work a little later Mounted slowly and majestically into the serious flecked upper air where a steady wind was blowing strongly toward the east About 1,000 miles farther on in that direction where a cluster of stratosphere tickling towers marked the location of the Metropolis of New New York A tender scene was being enacted in the pressurized penthouse managerial suite of puffy products McGearo winterly Secretary-in-chief to the managerial board and referred to by her underlings as the blonde icicle Was dealing with the advances of Roger racehorse Sneedon assistant secretary to the board and often Indistinguishable from any passing office boy Why don't you jump out the window Roger? Remembering to shut the airlock after you the golden glacier said in tones not unkind When are your high-strung thoroughbred nerves going to accept the fact that I would never consider marriage with a business Inferior you have about as much chance as a starving Ukrainian kulak now that Moscow's clapped on the interdict Roger's voice was calm Although his eyes were feverishly bright as he replied a lot of things are going to be different around here Meg as soon as the board is forced to admit that only my quick thinking made it possible to bring the name of Puffyloaf in front of the whole world Puffyloaf could do with a little of that the business girl observed judiciously The way sales have been plummeting it won't be long before the government deeds our desks to the managers of fairy bread and Asks us to take the big jump, but just where does your quick thinking come into this mr. Sneedon? You can't be referring to the helium that was rose thinkers brainwave She studied him suspiciously. You've birthed another promotional bumble Roger. I can see it in your eyes I only hope it's not as big a one as when you put the Martian ambassador on 3d And he thanked you profusely for the gross of Puffyloaf's Assuring you that he'd never slept on a softer mattress in all his life on two planets Listen to me Meg today. Yes today. You're going to see the board eating out of my hand Ha I guarantee you won't have any fingers left You're bold enough now, but when mr. Grice and those two big machines come through that door Now wait a minute Meg Hush, they're coming now Roger leaped three feet in the air, but managed to land without a sound and edged toward his stool Through the dilating iris of the door strode Phineas T. Grice flanked by rose thinker and tin Philosopher the man approached the conference table in the center of the room with measured pace and gravely Expressionless face the rose tinted machine on his left did a couple of impulsive Pirouettes on the way and twitted a greeting to Meg and Roger The other machine quietly took the third of the high seats and lifted a claw at Meg who now occupied a stool twice the height of Rogers Miss winterly please our theme The blonde icicles face thawed into a little girl's smile as she chanted bubblingly Made up of tiny wheat and motes and reinforced with sturdy oats It rises through the air and floats the bread on which I'll tear adotes Thank You miss winterly said tin Philosopher though a purely figurative statement that bit about rising through the air always gets me here He wrapped his midsection which gave off a high musical clang Ladies he inclined his photocells toward rose thinker and Meg and gentlemen This is a historic occasion in old puffy's long history the inauguration of the helium filled loaf So light it almost floats away in which that inert and heaven aspiring gas replaces old-fashioned carbon dioxide Later there will be kudos for rose thinker whose bright relays genius sparked the idea and also for Roger Sneedon who took care of the details by the buy racehorse that was a brilliant piece of work getting the helium out of the government They've been pretty stuffy lately about their monopoly But first I want to throw aside the casement in your minds that opens on the long view of things Rose thinker spun twice on her chair and opened her photocells wide Tin Philosopher coughed to limber up the diaphragm of his speaker and continued ever since the first cave wife Boasted to her next den neighbor about the superior paleness and fluffiness of her tortillas Mankind has sought lighter whiter bread Indeed thinker's wiser than myself have equated the whole upward course of culture with this poignant quest Yeast was a wonderful discovery for its primitive day Sifting the bran and wheat germ from the flower was an even more important advance Early bleaching and preserving chemicals played their humble parts for a while Barbarous fadests blind to the deeply spiritual nature of bread, which is recognized by all great religions Held back our march toward perfection with their hair splitting insistence on the vitamin content of the wheat germ But their case collapsed when tasteless colorless Substitutes were triumphantly synthesized and introduced into the loaf which for flawless purity unequaled Arraness and sheer intangible goodness was readily becoming mankind's supreme Gasturatory experience. I wonder what the stuff tastes like Rose thinker said out of a clear sky I wonder what tastes tastes like tin philosopher echoed dreamily recovering himself He continued then early in the 21st century came the epochal researches of Everett Whitehead puffy loaf chemist culminating in his paper the structural bubble in cereal masses and Making possible the baking of airtight bread 20 times stronger for its weight then steel and of a lightness that would have been incredible even to the advanced chemist bakers of the 20th century a Lightness so great that besides forming the backbone of our own promotion It has forever been capitalized on by our consciousness competitors of very bread with their enduring slogan It makes a ghost toast That's a but all right that ecto-doe blurb rose thinker admitted bugging her photocells sadly Wait a sec. How about there'll be bread overhead when you're dead. It is said Phineas T. Grice wrinkled his nostrils at the pink machine as if he smelled her insulation smoldering He said mildly a somewhat unhappy jingle rose referring as it does to the end of the customer as consumer Moreover, we shouldn't overplay the figurative rises through the air angle. What inspired you? She shrugged. I don't know. Oh, yes, I do. I was remembering one of the workers songs We machines used to chant during the big strike work and play live on hay You'll get pie in the sky when you die. It's a lie. I don't know why we chanted it She added we didn't want pie or hay for that matter and machines. Don't pray except Tibetan prayer wheels Phineas T. Grice shook his head labor relations are another topic. We should stay far away from However, dear Rose, I'm glad you keep trying to out jingle those dirty crooks at fairy bread He scowled turning back his attention to tin philosopher. I get whopping mad old machine Whenever I hear that other slogan of theirs the discriminatory one Untouched by robot claws just because they employ a few filthy androids in their factories Tin philosopher lifted one of his own sets of bright talons Thanks P. T. But to continue my historical resume the next great advance in the baking art was the substitution of purified Carbon dioxide recovered from coal smoke for the gas generated by yeast organisms in dwelling in the dough and later Killed by the heat of baking their corpses remaining in situ But even purified carbon dioxide is itself a rather repunctant gas a product of metabolism Whether fast or slow and forever associated with those life processes, which are obnoxious to the fastidious Here the machine shuttered with delicate clinkings Therefore we of puffy loaf are taking today. What may be the ultimate a step toward purity? We are aerating our loaves with the noble gas helium an Element which remains virginal in the face of all chemical temptations and whose slim molecules are 11 times lighter than obese carbon dioxide Yes, noble uncontaminable helium, which if it be a kind of ash is yet the ash only of radioactive burning Accomplished or initiated entirely on the Sun a safe 93 million miles from this planet Let's have a cheer for the helium loaf Without changing expression Phineas T. Grice wrapped the table thrice in solemn applause while the others bowed their heads Thanks, T. P. P. T. Then said and now for the moment of truth Miss winterly. How is the helium loaf selling? The business girl clapped on a pair of earphones and whispered into a lapel mic Her gaze grew abstracted as she mentally translated flurries of brief squawks into coherent messages Suddenly a single vertical furrow creased her matchless smooth brow It isn't mr. Grice she gasped in horror fairy bread is out selling puffy loafs by an infinity factor So far this morning there has not been one single delivery of puffy loafs to any sales spot Complaints about non-delivery are pouring in from both walking stores and sessile shops Mr. Sneedon Grice barked what bug in the new helium process might account for this delay Roger was on his feet looking bewildered. I can't imagine sir unless just possibly there has been some unforeseeable difficulty involving the new metal foil wrappers Metal foil wrappers were you responsible for those? Yes, sir last minute Recalculations showed that the extra lightness of the new loaf might be great enough to cause drift during stackage Drafts and stores might topple sales pyramids metal foil wrappers by their added weight took care of the difficulty And you ordered them without consulting the board. Yes, sir. There was hardly time and Why you fool I noticed that order for metal foil wrappers assumed it was some sub-secretaries mistake and canceled it last night Roger Sneedon turned pale You canceled it he quavered and told them to go back to the lighter plastic wrappers Of course, just what is behind all this mr. Sneedon. What Recalculations were you trusting when our physicists were demonstrated months ago that the helium loaf was safely stackable in light airs and gentle breezes winds up to Buford scale 3 Why should a change from heavier to lighter wrappers result in complete non-delivery? Roger Sneedon's paleness became tinged with an interesting green He cleared his throat and made strange gulping noises tin philosophers photo cells focused on him calmly Rose thinkers was unfaigned excitement P.T. Grice's frown grew blacker by the moment while McGarrow winterly is Venus mask showed an odd dawning of dismay and ah She was getting new squawks in her earphones Er, er, er Roger said in winning tones. Well, you see the fact is that I Hold it Meg interrupted crisply triple urgent from public relations safety division Tulsa Topeka Arrow Express makes emergency landing after being buffeted in a counter with a vast flight of objects first described as brown birds Although no failures reported in airways electronic anti bird fences after grounding safely near Emporia No fatalities pilots windshield found a thinly plastered with soft white and brown material emblems on plastic wrappers embedded in material identify it Inconvertibly as an undetermined number of puffy loaves cruising at 3,000 feet eyes and photo cells turned Inquisitorially upon Roger Sneedon. He went from green to puffy loaf white and blurted. All right I did it, but it was the only way out yesterday morning due to the Ukrainian crisis The government stopped sales and deliveries of all the strategic stockpiled materials including helium gas Puffy's new program of advertising and promotion based on the lighter loaf was already rolling There was only one thing to do there being only one other gas comparable to lightness to helium I diverted the necessary quantity of hydrogen gas from the hydrogenated oil section of our magna margarine division and substituted it for the helium You substituted Hydrogen for the helium Phineas T. Grice faltered in low mechanical tones taking four steps backward Hydrogen is twice as light as helium tin philosopher remarked judiciously and Many times cheaper. Did you know that Roger countered feebly? Yes I substituted hydrogen the metal foil wrapping would have added just enough weight to counteract the greater buoyancy of the hydrogen loaf, but So when this morning's loaves began to arrive on the delivery platforms of the walking mills Tin philosopher left the remark unfinished Exactly Roger agreed dismally Let me ask you mr. Sneedon Grice interjected still in low tones if you expected people to jump to the kitchen ceiling for their puffy bread after taking off the Metal wrapper or reach for the sky if they happen to unwrap the stuff outdoors Mr. Grice Roger said reproachfully you have often assured me that what people do with puffy bread after they buy it is no concern of ours I Seem to recall Rose thinker chirped somewhat unkindly that dictum was created to answer inquiries after Roger put the famous sculptures in miniature Artists on 3d and he testified that he always molded his first attempts from puffy bread One jumbo loaf squeezing down to approximately the size of a peanut Her photo cells dimmed and brightened. Oh Boy hydrogen the loaves unwrapped after a while in spite of the crust seal a little oxygen diffuses in an Explosive mixture housewife and curlers and kimono pops a couple of slices in the toaster boom The three human beings in the room winced Tin philosopher kicked her under the table while observing So you see Roger that the non-delivery of the hydrogen loaf carries some Consolations and I must confess that one aspect of the affair gives me great satisfaction Not as a board member, but as a private machine You have it last made a reality of the rises through the air part of puffy bread steam They can't ever take that away from you By now half the inhabitants of the Great Plains must have observed our flying loaves rising high Phineas T. Grice shot a frightened look at the West windows and found his full voice Stop the mills. He roared at Meg winterly who nodded and whispered urgently into her mic A sensible suggestion tin philosopher said but it comes a trifle late in the day If the mills are still walking and grinding approximately seven billion puffy loaves are at this moment cruising eastward over Middle America Remember that a six-month supply for deep freeze is involved and that the current consumption of bread due to its matchless Airiness is eight and one-half loaves per person per day Phineas T. Grice carefully inserted both hands into his scanty hair feeling for a good grip He leaned menacingly toward Roger who chin resting on the table regarded him apathetically Hold it Meg called sharply flock of multiple urgence coming in news lays on information bureaus swapped with flying bread inquiries Arrow express lines clear out airways or face lawsuit U.S. Army, why do loaves flame when hit by incendiary bullets? U.S. Customs if bread intended for export get export license or face prosecution Russian consulate in Chicago advise on destination of breadlift and some Kansas Church is accusing us of a hoax inciting to blasphemy of faking miracles. I don't know why The business girl tore off her headphones Roger Sneedon. She cried with a hysteria that would have dumbfounded her underlings You've brought the name of puffy loaves in front of the whole world. All right now do something about the situation Roger nodded obediently, but his pallor increased a shade the pupils of his eyes disappeared under the upper lids and his head Burrowed beneath his forearms. Oh boy Rose thinker called Gailey to tin philosopher This looks like the start of a real crisis session. Did you remember to bring spare batteries? Meanwhile the monstrous flight of puffy loaves filling midwestern skies as no small flyers had since the days of the passenger pigeon soared steadily onward Private flyers approached the brown and glistening bread front in curiosity and dipped down in awe Arrow express lines organized sightseeing flights along the flanks Plains of the government forestry and agricultural services and copters bearing the puffy loaf emblem Hovered on the fringes watching developments and waiting for orders a squadron of supersonic fighters hung menacingly above The behavior of birds varied considerably most fled or gave the loaves a wide berth But some bolder species discovering the minimal nutritive nature of the translucent brown objects Attacked them furiously with beaks and claws Hydrogen diffusing slowly through the crusts had now distended most of the sealed plastic wrappers into little balloons Which ruptured wind pierced with disconcerting pops Below neck craning citizens crowded streets and backyards cranks and cultists had a field day While local and national governments raged indiscriminately at puffy loaf and at each other Rumors that a fusion weapon would be exploded in the midst of the flying bread drew angry protests from Conservationists and a flood of telefax pamphlets titled H. Loaf or H. Bomb Stockholm sent a mystifying note of praise to the United Nations food organization Delhi issued nervous denials of a millet blight that no one had heard of until that moment and Reaffirmed India's ability to feed her population with no outside help except the usual Radio Moscow asserted that the Kremlin would brook no interference in its treatment of the Ukrainians jokingly referred to the flying bread as a farce perpetuated by mad Internationalists inhabiting cloud cuckoo land added contradictory references to airborne bread Booby trapped by capitalist gangsters and then fell moodily silent on the whole topic Radio Venus reported to its winged audience that earth's inhabitants were establishing food depots in the upper air Preparatory to taking up permanent aerial residents such as we have always enjoyed on Venus New New York made feverish preparations for the passage of the flying bread Tickets for sightseeing space in skyscrapers were sold at high prices Cold meats and potted spreads were hawked to viewers with the assurance They would be able to snag the bread out of the air and enjoy a historic sandwich Phineas T. Grice escaping from his own managerial suite Raged about the city Demanding general cooperation in the stretching of great nets across the skyscrapers to trap the errant loaves He was captured by tin philosopher escaped again and was found posted with oxygen mask and Submachine gun on the topmost spire of puffy loaf tower Apparently determined to shoot down the loaves as they appeared and before they involved his company in more trouble with customs in the State Department Recaptured by tin philosopher who suffered only minor bullet holes He was given a series of mild electroshocks and returned to the conference table calm and clear-headed as ever But the bread flight swinging away from a hurricane moving up the Atlantic coast Crossed a clouded in Boston by night and disappeared into a high Atlantic overcast Also, thereby evading a local storm generated by the weather department in a last-minute effort to bring down or at least disperse the H loaves Warnings and counter-warnings by communist and capitalist governments Seriously interfered with military trailing of the flight during this period and it was actually lost in touch with for several days At scattered points seagulls were observed fighting over individual loaves floating down from the gray roof. That was all a Mood of spirituality strongly tinged with humor seized the people of the world Ministers sermonized about the bread Variously interpreting it as a call to charity a warning against gluttony a parable of the effervescence of all earthly things and Divine joke Husbands and wives facing each other across their walls of breakfast toast burst into laughter The mere sight of a loaf of bread anywhere was enough to evoke guffaws an Obscure sect having as part of its creed the injunction. Don't take yourself so damn seriously one new adherence The bread flight rising above an Atlantic storm widely reported to have destroyed it past Unobserved across a foggy England and rose out of the overcast only over Middle, Europia The loaves had at last reached their maximum altitude The Sun's rays beat through the rarefied air on the distended plastic wrappers Increasing still further the pressure of the confined hydrogen. They burst by the millions and tens of millions a High-flying Bulgarian evangelist who had happened to mistake the up lever for the east lever in the cockpit of his flyer And who was the sole witness of the event afterward described it as the foaming of a sea of diamonds the crackle of God's knuckles By the millions and tens of millions the loaves coasted down into the starving Ukraine Shaken by a week of humor that threatened to invade even its own grim precincts The Kremlin made a sudden about face a new policy was instituted of communal ownership of the produce of communal farms and teams of hungry fighters and caravans of trucks loaded with pumpernickel were dispatched into their Ukraine World distribution was given to a series of photographs showing peasants queuing up to trade scavenged Puffy loaves for traditional black bread recently aerated itself, but still extra solid by comparison The rate of exchange demanded by the Moscow teams being 20 puffy loaves to one of pumpernickel Another series of photographs picturing chubby workers children being blown to bits by booby-trapped bread was quietly destroyed Congratulatory notes were exchanged by various national governments and world organizations Including the brotherhood of free business machines The great bread flight was over though for several weeks afterward scattered falls of loaves occurred Giving rise to a new folklore of manna among lonely Arabian tribesmen and in one well authenticated instance in Tibet Sustaining life in a party of mountaineers cut off by a snow slide Back in New New York the managerial board of puffy products slumped in utter collapse around the conference table The long crisis session at last ended Empty coffee cartons were scattered around the chairs of the three humans dead batteries around those of the two machines For a while there was no movement whatsoever Then Roger Sneedon reached out weirdly for the earphones where McGeara winterly had hurled them down Adjusted them to his head pushed a button and listened apathetically After a bit his gaze brightened he pushed more buttons and listened more eagerly Soon he was sitting tensely upright on his stool eyes bright and lower face all a smile muttering terse comments and questions into the lapel mark torn from mags fair neck The others reviving watched him at first dolly then with quickening interest Especially when he jerked off the earphones with a happy shout in spring to his feet Listen to this he cried in a ringing voice as a result of the worldwide publicity Puffy loaves are outselling fairy bread three to one and that's just the old carbon dioxide stock from our freezers It's almost exhausted But the government now that the Ukrainian crisis is over has taken the ban off helium And will also sell us a stockpiled wheat if we need it We can have our walking mills burrowing into the wheat caves in a matter of hours But that isn't all the far greater demand everywhere is for puffy loaves that will actually float Public relations child liaison divisions reports that the kitties are making their mother's lives miserable about it If only we can figure out some way to make hydrogen non-explosive or the helium low float just a little I'm sure we can take care of that quite handily tin philosopher interrupted briskly Puffy loaf has kept it a corporation secret even you've never been told about it But just before he went crazy effort whitehead discovered a way to make bread using only half as much flour as we do in the present Loaf using this secret technique, which we've been saving for just such an emergency It will be possible to bake a helium loaf as a buoyant in every respect as the hydrogen loaf Good Roger cried will tether him on strings and sell them like balloons No mother-child shopping team will leave the store without a cluster Buying bread balloons will be the big event of the day for kitties. It'll make the carry-home shopping load lighter, too I'll issue orders at once He broke off looking at Phineas T. Grice said with quiet assurance Excuse me, sir. If I seem to be taking too much upon myself Not at all son go straight ahead the great manager said approvingly You're he laughed in anticipation of getting off a memorable remark Rising to the challenging situation like a genuine puffy loaf McGeara winterly looked from the older man to the younger then in a single leap She was upon Roger her arms wrapped tightly around him My sweet little ever Victoria self-propelled monkey wrench. She crooned in his ear Roger looked fatuously over her soft shoulder at Tin Philosopher who as if moved by some similar feeling Reached over and touched claws with Rose thinker This however was what he telegraphed Signalently to his fellow machine across the circuit so completed Gordo Rosie that makes another victory for robot engineered world unity though You almost gave us away at the start with that bread overhead jingle We've struck another blow against next world war in which as we know only too well we machines would suffer the most Now if we can only arrange say a fur famine in Alaska and a migration of long-haired Siberian lemmings across bearing straits we'd have to swing the Japanese current up there So it'd be warm enough for the little fellows Anyhow Rosie with a spot of help from the brotherhood those humans will paint themselves into the peace corner yet Meanwhile he and Rosie thinker quietly watched the blonde icicle melt end of bread overhead by Fritz Lieber