 reveal your secrets. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the Procrastinator's podcast, a podcast about internet people talking about stuff. I'm the best guy ever and we're joined today by Munchie Wears Tiny Hats. Don't let my mom know I'm here. I'm sneaking out, I went to the, we're in the back of a Barnes and Nobles where they sell the porn. Don't let my mom know or she'll know that I have carnal sins and that she will kick me out of my saternity home. Yes, excellent. Hippocrite is here. I haven't eaten in hours and I have a burger in front of me and if I make a noise, I'm sorry. Okay, good. Tom Oliver is joining us. You're not supposed to know I'm here. It's a secret. Gee. Hats. Oh, well now the cat's out of the bag. And Munchie Jones. Jon Tron just put up a new video. Ah! Ah! One week ago. Impressive shrieking. Didn't that guy start to write it? All right, everybody, let's not fuck around. Today our topic of discussion is, it's apropos that you mentioned Barnes and Noble because we're reviewing The Secret, the world-famous book that everyone loves that taught the world to love again, to feel, to be a real guy. I thought it was The Secret. Like ooze and slime come out of it. Secreting ooze. Yes, yes, that too, it's all these things. When you said secret, the first thing I thought of was like secreting anal juices and I don't know why. Oh, I know why. All my juices are there besides poop. There's a lot of anal juice you don't know about, Nate. That's one of my secrets. I know. Got a lot to learn. Well, there you go. Okay, you know what? Let's all scrap that. The secret topic of the episode. I forgot Hippo was eating. Yeah, I was just gonna say. Oh, fuck you. This is what you get. I'm talking to eating bags. So yeah, we're talking about secrets, everybody. We're talking about secrets. That's the real secret of this episode. And here is the Urban Dictionary definition of secret. Here it is. Can't tell ya. Oh, fuck off. That's it, that's the whole thing. Okay, here's definition number two. Information you tell someone when you spelled with just the letter you, when you want it to become public knowledge by morning. That's perfect because that's every story I have to tell about this topic. Oh, that's good, that's good. Yes, that is good. I like this. Secret, oh, it's strong enough for a man made for a woman. These are all great. Urban Dictionary, you're killing it today, buddy. So he's the real PCP man. He's the main success of the PCP, yeah. Yeah, we owe them everything. So secrets, they are good, they are bad, they are gay across the board. What secrets do you have, Munchy? I'm paranoid, just to start out. I might be the most paranoid PCP member next to you, Nate. I am very paranoid, I know you're- That's a tall order. Yeah, yeah, you're more paranoid than I am, but needless to say I'm still, whenever I look at someone, I instantly just assume they want to kill me and therefore I have to assert my dominance and hold, I have to have emotional power over them to ensure that they want to talk to me, therefore, it's in their best interest not to kill me. I know just how you feel. I don't trust anyone. I don't trust anyone at any time and I need to know that I have leverage over them in some way, even if it's just social, you know? Yeah, that sounds good, man. Yeah, yeah. So I don't really have a lot of secrets per se, but I love just knowledge. I have knowledge and smarts and wisdom that I keep inside my brain. And if you were to look inside my brain, you'd be like, ooh, tasty, and you would slip it all up and, Jesus, get out of here! I would say to you, prying to my brain. Yeah. I don't like it when people know things. Even, common, I don't like it when textbooks are out. I don't like it when people are learning. So basically, you're against non-secrets. You think all information should be contained in the form of secrets as in no one should have access to it. I'm against education and learning as a concept. I'm against self-betterment in any sort of way. The fake news advocate. Oh, you're the number one champion of fake news in the world after Hillary Clinton, of course. Of course. Incredible. Well, let me get some hand sanitizer. One not secrets. I love hand sanitizer. You guys don't have to be my friend to know that. Everyone knows when I get out my dinner of a hand sanitizer and I just, oh, it's slipping down. Okay, good. Is anyone else have any secret story? I mean, Mom, you were implying that you had a couple stories about secrets. What do you got for us? Well, last episode during the incest discussion, we all heard the great tale of how I got cucked by my best friend and his sister. And that was supposed to be a big secret that she confessed to me and made me promise I would not tell anybody. And as Urban Dictionary, let us all know. The next morning was when I pretty much let everybody know because here's the thing about secrets. I would like to think that I'm pretty trustworthy. I would like to think if somebody gave me a secret, they didn't want me to tell anybody. I would stay true to that. However, and I think this is a rule that should apply to everybody. If the secret somebody is confessing to you is something that like completely fucks you over. Like if a girlfriend is telling you, oh, here's the secret, I cheated on you. Why in the fuck will I be expected not to tell everybody? That's the front page of Facebook tomorrow morning, my friend. You know, I forget the name of it, but that reminds me of this great episode of The Boondocks where like the two, I forgot the name of the two white guys who are played by like Samuel Jackson and another guy. Yeah, like it's great, it's great. But that like the episode is about, I forget the name of like the rule or whatever, but it's about like Riley gets like his shit stolen by those guys. Like they're huge assholes, they just take his shit, but like no one will talk to the cops. Like no one's gonna, what's it called? Snitch it, no snitch it. That's sort of the word I'm looking for. So it's all about how like these guys are like terrorizing the neighborhood and everyone's like looking for them because they're just ruining everyone's fucking life. But Riley insists on not being a fucking snitch and because he's like the only one to witness them. And then I believe actually, okay, so they don't do anything necessarily bad to him, but at the end of the episode, so they're just in general ruining the neighborhood, which has a minor impact on Riley's life, which kind of sucks. But then at the end of the episode, they just steal his bike and like ride off with it. And he's just like, they just like treat him like a punk bitch and totally fuck him over. And then the cops will walk up and they're like, son, does something happen here? Is there anything you'd like to tell us? And you can see him like, like tears are fucking leaking out of his eyes. He's like clenching his fist and just screaming at the injustice of it. He's like, nah nigga, I ain't seen shit. It was fucking great. That non snitching rule is, and then you see like in the background, as you say that to the cops, they're just joyriding on the motorcycle, being like, yo, this bike is fucking dope dog. Gonna smash this shit, gonna fucking wreck that bike pussy. Yeah, it was a great episode. I wreck that bike pussy every single day of my life, bro. I'm curious to see if you guys agree with this sort of philosophy of the morality of secrets in that if the secret you're holding makes your life worse by not confessing it, do you have a right to confess it? If it will improve the quality of your life by... I mean, I guess if it comes down to like, if you break the promise, what happens to your life? Do people not trust you? Or is it just the person that told you the secret doesn't trust you with knowledge? Cause like, you gotta weigh the options of what will happen to you. If your life will become so much better by confessing that it doesn't matter if people think you might not be trustworthy, then of course, like I don't see the point in having a pride about being trustworthy if your life is shit because of it. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. That was Riley's problem, you know? He fucked his life over by just being too committed to his ideology there. Yeah, I think that the two are kind of discreet factors, but there's a context for everything and there's a limit to how much you should like hold any one position like that. Like truth is really not always the best policy. If your hoe ass look fat, she don't wanna know her ass look fat, you know? Well, sometimes she does. Well, sometimes. Again, it depends on the context. I don't think it's a secret that that hoe's ass looks fat. I think she knows that one. But here's the context, like if you're going out for a night on the town with your lady and she says to you like, do I look fat? You say, no, you look beautiful, you know? You can say that shit and that's totally fine. So white light. If she is like in a fitness competition and she's been working and training and her ass does legitimately look incredibly fat and she's totally unprepared for the competition and she's like, okay, dude, does my ass look fat? I need to know for this competition. I don't wanna get humiliated up there. If you lie and plakie her until a night, no. Yeah, exactly. And then she, well, and her ass does in fact look fat. And like, that's you sort of fucking her over through lying that way. That's like, see, that's the two different ways to treat that particular example, you know? Yeah. I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's wrong, per se, you know, ever. Well, okay, wrong. It's not like against the law to fucking tell a secret. I guess lying and secrets are two different things incidentally. Yeah, I was gonna say. Yeah, well, yeah, well, okay, but they're kind of linked to you. They're kind of the same thing, so. They're linked, they're linked. Well, there's the secrets that you keep. Trustworthiness. The secrets that you keep for other people and then there are secrets that you just know and that are, you know, nobody confided and you just know something and you don't know whether to tell anyone. And when you do, they now have your secret, I guess. We all have a secret. We all have a secret. It's like having the knowledge that you know that Osama bin Laden isn't the leader of the Taliban. Like everyone wants to pretend that he is, but you don't want to tell the government because you know that if they find out the truth that you are actually the leader of the Taliban, they're calling after you next. It's a situation like that. To that point about how I am the leader of ISIS, you know, it's like, it's, I do think that those are two discrete factors to a monkey's point there. Like if you decide that you want to like, okay, for example, like the common example people bring up for stuff like this is like your Catholic priest and like a murderer confesses, you know, and then like, okay, so like this guy is a murderer and let's say he doesn't immediately plan to kill anybody else, but you never know. You know, he's an unstable kind of guy. He's like, I'm sorry, father. I don't want to do it, et cetera, et cetera. Like, first of all, I don't care about religion at all. So I don't give a fuck about any of their like religious oaths. But in terms of like the social standing there about how these guys like come here just to confess, like frankly, the whole confession thing to me, I guess I'm going on a little bit of a tangent, but like the confession thing is sort of the way that like these guys get to like ease the burden of the sins that they've done. And I don't want them to be eased of their burden. I want them to be crushed under the weight of the crimes they've committed because they deserve it. At least, I guess not every single time, but you know, with stuff like this. But in any case, yeah, like if the priest decides that it's, he really needs to like come forward, that like really does help the world. It's like a good thing to do if you're like getting a guy like that off the streets, but you are showing that you are willing to like break your oaths of secrecy and shit. Just a negative consequence in other ways. So you really gotta weigh it. Nate, do you think that there's a delicate balance between justice and secrecy, or do you think justice should always be more important than like keeping an oath? You know, it's tough. Since we live in the real world and not a fantasy world where you can like always expect perfect justice all the time, I think sometimes it is appropriate to conceal things that might help people. If it would cause other problems, you know? Like if you tell someone that like, fuck, I don't know. Like if someone's got amnesia and they used to be a murderer and like they, now that like they had amnesia they woke up, they're in a new place and they're just like a new person and they're a really good person or something. Like does it make sense to then like sentence this person for the crimes that they committed before? Like I know that's a crazy example, but that's the sort of idea. But wouldn't it bring like peace to the families? Cause now they know who killed their person and like all that stuff. Well, that's true. But again, like you're weighing a family's satisfaction at a man, you know, being locked up versus like now there's a guy who in this one example who isn't causing any problems who you're going to lock up because of, you know a situation that's basically been resolved on his and no one else is going to be hurt. And you know, it kind of comes down to the whole idea of like, what is the purpose of it? You're assuming that there's going to be no like resurgence of memories where he's not going to. I am assuming that that's true. Go off and kill again. Like it's very, like you know everything about the situation. Yeah, by that same logic, like we just need some murder who didn't lose his memory but still decides, you know what? I killed that one guy. I got it out of my system. Now I'm just going to be an upstanding gentleman and like for the rest of his life he never does anything. Well, hang on. Okay, there's actually a cool example of this. There was a guy recently who, fuck, what did he do? I don't know. He had done something and he was sentenced to like, I think like 20 years or something. Maybe less than that. And when he was a kid, he committed some crime, got sentenced, whatever. And so like, so there's a thing when you get sentenced, if you're on bail, like you get sent like a note to like bring yourself to jail, like report to jail now. They don't fucking carry you off unless you know they like have you the whole time. If you've been bailed out, you got to report yourself to jail. Like this guy just didn't go and then nobody ever came for him because like paperwork got fucked up. So then he spent like 40 years, like constantly terrified that like someone was going to come and nab him because he knew he had done this shit. And he like started a family, did all this crazy shit. And the thing is, he really turned his life around and became a great guy. So like, did he pay the price of like, you know, committing the crime that he did legitimately commit? I mean, according to the law, no, but in the grander scheme of things, the suffering that he went through of like living life on the edge all the time and being so afraid of fucking anything up and getting his name like in the legal books and that way, that's a punishment end of its own. Talk about a secret, secret life. And it's funny, he didn't even tell like his wife and kids. So like later on when they actually, like the paperwork did get sorted and they came for him, that was, he was like, honey, there's something I need to tell you. Card him out the door. Incidentally, in that case, they let the guy go because like it was such a clear case that he had just, he had served his sentence basically by making himself a real nigga. And what's worse, being in prison or having a family, I think he's paying for his crimes. Yeah. You got a ball and chain on you either way. Yeah, you're fucked. Yeah. Tom, tell me all your secrets, all of them. I want the whole shebang, I want the ball. All of my secrets. We got all night, baby. I don't know, I don't really, do I have any secrets if I do, they're so innocuous. I don't remember what they are. Tell me this, Tom, you never liked my little pony. You just did it for that oculus rift money. Yeah, I actually have like seven oculus rifts I have one for every day of the week. Oh my God. Yeah, it's fucking great. Fucking scum. I even have an HTC Vive for the weekends, it's fantastic. I'm going, I'm gonna fucking ballin' over here now. He played us. Has anybody had an experience where you shared a secret and that person was not trustworthy? Yes. Good question. I don't know if I have. Munchie, what do you got, buddy? Yes, when I was in fifth grade, there was some sort of a school dance of some sort where all the little babies would touch their flabby meat against one another and would be a disgusting display for only the depraved and twisted to have any sort of illicit reaction to. Anyway, I went there with my friend, Rocky. Rocky is like the source of my music for all of my fucking young life. Whenever I hear the name Rocky, I just instantly get like fucking like PDST. Yeah, okay. I just wanna jump out a window so I can get away from the sound. Anyway, I go there and I'm ordering, I'm ordering fucking Sprite and Skittles and I'm fucking going all out. I'm fucking, I'm going on a bender, bro. I'm gonna fucking wake up in a ditch after I'm done at this place. Anyway, so I just fucking, I'm just walking with them and he's like, fucking, I love Wii sports. I'm like, dude, I know. Anyway. That was the big secret. Oh no, you spilled the beans. No, no, then I forget what happens. And I was just like, dude, what if like girls weren't awful? And he was like, dude, I'm gonna go tell that girl right now that you are. Oh no. And then I was like, what? That doesn't make any sense. And he went and did it. And then I was just like, I don't know who you are. And she was like, it's okay if you love me. I understand, I'm beautiful. And I was just confused and scared and I ran to the bathroom because I hate women. And that fucking Chad was just going to fucking ruin my night. And I couldn't finish eating my fucking, I accidentally dropped my fucking gummy worms on the floor so I couldn't finish eating them because they were on the floor. I just wanted to eat my gummy worms and spray. I just wanted to eat what I came to the dance floor. I wanted to eat the gummy worms. Did you guys ever have, I think they're called like dirt cups or whatever, they're chocolate pudding with Oreo crumble on the top. There's a gummy worms in them. Oh yeah. It's no secret, those are the best things ever. Ha ha ha. Ha ha, slam dunk. All of you. All of you for the slam dunk, dude. Yeah, okay, good. Good, good. And I've forgipped them immediately because I had no other friends. Oh you did. Ha ha ha, that's the way to do it. Give, tell me your secret. Okay, gladly. Actually, hang on. I just gotta take a bite of this burger. It's been sitting here this whole time. I'm really hungry actually. Now's your chance. Yeah, while your time to speak has come, that's the perfect time to take a big fucking bite out of this burger, dude. Don't worry about us. Okay, good. My secret is one slime of the worm and I broke them. Keep it going. I'm just, excuse me, but. It's juicy. And then I tried to eat the worm and it just. You buried the body there? What the fuck? Oh no. I'm sorry, hippo. I can barely understand you all that anal juice in your mouth. Ha ha ha ha. Oh yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's basically what happened. I can't understand him because he has a stupid accent. Hey! Look out down below. Here it comes, banana slam, a conga bongo, the hero. Yeah, that's my secret. That was a bombshell. I've got a story of the time a friend betrayed me and did not keep a secret. It was third grade, I was eight years old. I had this friend named Hunter and I lived out in the country. So whenever I went to go stay the night at Hunter's house, I could finally be out in the suburbs, baby. We could raise some hell in a place where there's actually people and I'm not just alone in the middle of nowhere. And Hunter has this checkbook of blank checks. I don't know where he got it because he's eight. But we thought, you know what would be funny as hell? What if we filled out one of these checks for a million dollars and we went to our friend Will's house and we put it in his mailbox? That would be the funniest thing of all time. And thinking back, I don't know why we thought it would be funny, I have no idea, no idea. So we do it. And it's this big secret because we know, we know for some reason that it's the biggest law in the world, it's some big federal law that you're not allowed to touch anybody's mailbox for any reason unless you're a mailman. So we're like, oh man, what a big secret. Oh man, we did this big prank, we put a check in his mailbox, we're gonna get in so much trouble, we're gonna get arrested if they find out. The next day at school, the next day at school. The special something teacher, she's not like a special ed teacher, but she's like a guidance kind of bitch. I don't like it. She's the type of feminist bitch where she hyphenates her last name. So it's like her name dash husband's last name. Disgusting, I hate it. Pick a side, you fucking harlots. One or the other. I don't care if you wanna like empower yourself and just keep your name, that's fine. I would prefer that, I don't give a shit. But to hyphenate, disgusting, fuck you. This bitch shows up to the classroom that me and Hunter are in. And she says, Jimmy, Jimmy, come here. I'm like, uh-oh, uh-oh, that's not good. They're gonna interview us one at a time, that's not good. So she sits me down. I'm alone in the room with her and she says, classic. So did you and your friend Hunter, do you guys do anything yesterday? I'm like, no, no, I don't know what you're talking about. And she says, you know, I heard this rumor that you might have put something in someone's mailbox. I'm like, uh-oh, red alert. What are we gonna do? I gotta make up some sort of crazy lie. But at the same time, Hunter is also going to be interviewed and if he doesn't have the same crazy lie as me, then we're fucked, we're fucked. That's the classic divide and conquer interrogation technique. Absolutely. So I say, oh, that was just a joke. We made up a joke that we did that. We didn't actually do that. It was just a joke. And she says, oh, uh-oh, okay, it was a joke. So she takes me back to the classroom and says, hey Hunter, can you come with me? And I said, in front of everybody, there's 20 other kids, two teachers in the room, and I say, hey Hunter, yeah, she wants to ask us about that joke we told. Remember that joke? Nice. Yeah. I thought I was super conspicuous about it. Like, hey, you know, that joke would tell her about it. About five minutes later, Hunter's back and she calls me out again, uh-oh. Fuck. And of course, she's more mad that I lied to her than that we put something in someone's mailbox because as it turns out, we're not in trouble for that. So I don't know why she even called us out in the first place. So that's the time Hunter betrayed me. He couldn't keep the secret and he didn't know what a joke was. Fuck you, Hunter. I hope you burn in hell. What a shitty teacher to just interrogate them on the off chance that you can get in trouble from it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, what was she actually interrogating you about? Because like, she didn't know about, I mean, the mailbox thing wasn't possible, right? I just want to see if these kids lied to me so I can beat the shit out of them. I don't get it. You didn't get in trouble for the mailbox stuff. Like, I have no idea what the point of it was, but it was over 15, about 15 years ago, so maybe I'm missing a detail in my memory, but I just remember that part. Monkey, I want to know, in your school, did every time a single person, like, can you come to the office, please, did the entire fucking room go, ooh. Oh, of course. And it was me every time. I was going to go to the office every other month in elementary school. Calm down, Mark Simpson. I remember one time, if we want to tell stories about how we got in trouble in elementary school. I definitely do. The first time I got sent to the principal's office was because when I was five, so this is like kindergarten, recess is over and we're all lining up to go back inside. And I don't know what came over me, but for some reason, there's this girl named Lauren who I kind of liked. In front of everybody, I just fucking yell, hey, Lauren, take off your pants. And I have no idea, like, what came over me, why I would even say that. I don't actually want to see this little girl with pants off. You're just getting straight to the act. You're getting down to business. Yes, no. In your instance, yeah. Next thing I know, I'm in the principal's office, but luckily this principal was the type of guy who would say, so what'd you do? And then you tell him what you did and then he laughs at your story because you're a stupid kid doing stupid shit and then he says, don't do it again. And then you go back to class. So at least the principal was a cool guy. That's good. My elementary school woes are as long as fucking scripture verses. However, however, one that's somewhat related to this is one time, again, again, with fucking, with fucking, what's his fucking ass, bitch ass name? Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky. There was another friend I knew named Sean and he was like this fucking weird sort of like Kid Mario cop. Yeah, he was an audio engineer. He was like a fucking, he was like a super hall monitor. Instead of like a hall monitor, he was a world monitor. He monitored every action to every system. That's it. And a hero. Yeah, yeah. So I'm picturing him as the all-seeing eye of Sauron. Yeah, yeah. And looking about the hallways, yeah, okay. Yeah, exactly. But with the badge on. And in a way to show off the badge, like even when he was all, and even when he got off school, he would just put his badge on over his fucking shirt, just no matter what. Yeah. World monitor. And whenever I said, and then we got into a fight he would just say, dude, look at the badge, bro. Look at the badge. Look at the badge, dude. Look at it. Respect it. Yeah, respect the badge. Anyway, so Rocky just makes up this lie that I've stolen his video game because he's fucking Rocky. Because he's fucking Rocky and get away with anyone because his parents are divorced and everyone has to be sorry for him because his parents are divorced. I don't care if the parents are divorced, Rocky. I hate you. Me too, dude. Anyway, he makes up a lie because he wants to get me back because I think I like, because I beat him at Wii Sports and he got super fucking pissed after his controller. And as we've established, he loves Wii Sports. Yeah, he loves it. He can't take this kind of embarrassment, right? In front of his whole family and clan, he needs to redeem himself. So he wants to fuck me over. And so he gets Sean to interrogate me. And Sean comes over and he kicks me aside and he's like, dude, I heard a rumor. Is it true you're a thief? Is it true that you've broken the law? Those are serious aspersions we've heard about. Jesus Christ. And I know I'm innocent, so I just say, what do you think? Can I spit in his fuck? Are you like spit on his badge? You spit on his badge? Fuck your authority, world monitor. And then he's just like, he's like, you're reckless, but I believe you. And he gives me a great turn of phrase. Okay, all right. That's what the policeman says at the end of the thrilling action movie where he's been intellectually dueling with a cold-hearted criminal, which is you in this case. Fuck, what was it again? What was the line? You're reckless, but I believe you. Yes, yes. The moment when respect was forged for a lifetime. Yes. Brothers in arms. And so what he does is me and Rocky in the same class and he's been eyeing me, like fucking, oh, look at this fucking guy, look at this fucking guy. And then I walk back and I'm smiling graces. I'm smiling wisely, knowing that my superior erotic life has gotten me out of yet another jam. Yeah. And then Sean fucking like is like, Rocky, we need to talk now. And so Rocky starts losing his fucking shit and he's like scared that his lies been found out. So he walks out and I hear, like I don't know about this during the time, but then like I meet with Sean after school and he just says, I told him, I told him that I found out the truth and that he can't hide the truth from the world monitor himself. He actually, by the way, he called himself the world monitor, by the way. That wasn't me making up. He really did? He called himself the world monitor. Yeah. You give a man a taste of power and he wants to take it all. He wants control of everything. It's his better, his ill nature got ahold of him, his senses. Anyway, so Rocky was shamed from the entire class and Sean just said he was untrustworthy. But after school, Rocky said, I don't have anyone play Wii sports with me. Can you please come over now? I was like, okay. But I have to have a Smarties. I have to have a Smarties. I need to have one of your Smarties. And he gave me one of their Smarties and I played Wii sports and I beat him again. He yelled at me and told me to leave the room. It was a good time. What a journey. Real quick here, also in middle school, I was known for picking people up. That was like what I did. I was the person who picked people up because I was just so massive and girthy that I could do whatever I want. And so I would pick people up. And the people lined up for like 10 people would line up for me to pick them up and just set them back down. I was the main attraction to the fucking playground. Anyway, so this fucking- Maybe they actually just wanted a hug. Yeah, maybe. So this stupid ass fucking punk ass crippled motherfucker rolls up in his fucking wheelchair. Ah, Jesus. Always causing problems, the goddamn disabled. Fuck off. A fucking apologizer, right? Apologize already. Anyway. So he's like, please, sir, let me get a ride on your arms. I need to know it's like to feel young again. And so I'm like, you know what? I'll take pity on you fucking disabled, disabled man. And so I lift him up and he immediately, he's like spying cracks. Like he gets the wind taken out of him. And so I set him down in his wheelchair and I'm like, this is what you fucking get. And then he rolls off to tell the fucking principle. What the fuck? Was this a kid or an actual old man? No, this is a child. What's the difference between a child who's that weak and an old man? There is none. They're basically the same thing, OK. Anyway, so I get in trouble for him wanting me to pick him up and providing that service for him. There's no justice. There's no justice. I did what he wanted me to do and I got fucking- And the worst thing is, I went to tell the principle that it was like end of lunchtime. So I just went to class. And then I was like some sort of computer science class or some of that effect. And we were just in the computer lab. And I heard people looking around me. And they're just like, did you hear so and so got the fucking wind be down? Yeah, I heard someone fucking throwing down the ground. I was like, no, it's not true! Down on the ground, you fucking cripple! It's not true. I'm a good boy. And then I went to the principle's office and he was like, and I walked into his office and he was like looking through the Venetian blinds. Everything was dark and he was just like missing. What did you do? And I just like started, I was like, I provided the service he wanted. I provided the service he wanted. I'm a good guy. I'm a good vendor. I'm a good host. And he was just like, it's not good enough. And so he sent it to me to detention. It was a scary time. That was a big secret, guys. It was a big secret. Yeah, good secret. Good secret. When I think of secrets, a lot of the times I think of gossip. Because that's usually like, it's never been said, hey, here's a secret, blah, blah, blah, this and that. It's usually like, oh, I heard from one person, a friend of a person, that they're going through this. Did you hear this? Yeah, it's like, you're not really supposed to bring it up unless you want to be a gossipy person. And I don't know. I don't really feel like I have any secrets that I remember holding or getting given. Because despite being the kid that never said anything and was known for not doing any words out of my mouth, nobody thought, ah, this guy I can confide in, I guess nobody had anything to say, or at least not to me. And I never had anything I cared to say to anyone else. Because it's like, a lot of the time, it's gossip. It's like, why would you tell someone else about this thing? Because you want to feel the rush of it going behind someone's back, I guess. And I don't get that. I don't feel that. So I never had a secrets. I think gossiping gives people a sense of empowerment. When they're sharing new information with someone, that's a gift they get to give out. And they get to watch the person give them credit for being the one who shared that. Something like that, anyway. I would say I am the duality of man and personified if I do say so myself. Dr. Munchy and Mr. Hat. Yeah, exactly. I am gossipy, I think. But if you tell me to not say something, then I will not. I get off on being loyal. If someone's like, don't do this thing, I'll be like, fuck you. I'm not going to fucking do that. I'm going to fucking take this to the fucking grave. I'm going to fucking, ah, ah, ah. I'm like that. But if it's like, did you hear that I have fucked a dog before? What do you think about that, huh? I'll be like, everyone's going to know about this guy fucking. Why did you tell Ben's secret? He trusted you. I guess I'm gossipy like normal, like a normal human level. Like if somebody is brought up in conversation and it doesn't seem that bad to say, hey, I heard that they eat shit. Like, you know. Not that bad. Not that bad. Like they're well-known for eating shit. I just thought you might like to know. I want to be part of this conversation. I've got to say something. But like, I don't know. Like I don't. I'm just like discussing things. And like, I'm gossiping in the sense that if there's a problem, if someone's like working through a problem, it's not like a secret. Like I'm having to fucking clash in my soul. If it's just like, yeah, I don't know how to fucking do this thing with this guy, whatever, then I'll want to discuss that. And like with other people, like come up with, I want to task force fucking like police. Like, how do I get this person to be happy? Kind of like a view of it. Actually, wait, I figured out why I'm thinking. I figured out why I can't think of any secrets. It's because I don't think of them. When I think of a secret, I think of something you want to tell people. And I don't care about anything that I'm told. If somebody says something to me, I won't ever say it to anyone else, really. And if they expressly say, please don't tell anyone, I'll be like, yeah, yeah, of course. And it won't even feel like a secret. It won't feel like it's just waiting to be unleashed on people. Like it's not even part of my brain anymore. It's just sort of like, oh yeah, I guess I know that. Calling something a secret can kind of give it a red flag in your memory and it'll make you kind of want to talk about it. So yeah, sometimes you're better off. It will make you want to secrete it from your anus. Hey! Hippo, I'm trying to eat over here. Let's discuss in brief. So this has been coming up a couple of times. So are we all in agreement that honesty is not always the best policy? Does anyone feel differently from that? I would say it's usually the best, but there are times when you like lying is just better. Only as it deals in absolutes. I like being honest and being known as someone who just, like if I say something, I want people to know that that's what I mean. Yeah. Unless I'm obviously doing it in a silly voice and it's a joke. But like, I hate people who hope that you understand something from like, you know, like they want you to get it without them saying it. I would rather just be a person who says it. You're talking about women. You're talking about women right now. Yeah. That's my secret. I'm gay. In fairness, men do it too. Oh yeah, yeah, of course. It's not really a secret after the fetish episode. Yeah. I want to know what you think. I also like being like honest, like known as like, oh, if I say this, then it's like real. It's like, like, I do like having to not specify like, this isn't a joke, by the way. This is a real thing that I truly do believe. But I never believe anything anyone says to me almost ever. I always have to like, I have to be like up really. Is that really? And then like five, like five round, more rounds and I'll be like, maybe I believe you possibly. So basically you'll believe things the more times that they're insisted upon by the person as long as they don't change the story or crack under the psychological pressure of your interrogation. I like to believe that everyone is a real and that everything they say is completely true unless otherwise specified. Cause especially on the internet, thinking any other way is confusing and time consuming. Just think about like, oh, are they real? Are they saying that for real? No, they're completely true because they haven't said, by the way, I'm lying yet. I think you have to take the opposite approach online. I think you should assume everybody is lying until proven honest. I basically agree with that. It's funnier if I just think everyone's real. Well, you know, even, even not even just online but in all aspects of life, I was gonna say that I don't think there's a single person in the world. I mean, it depends what you mean by truth, but like I think that everyone is constantly wearing like different masks and they're presenting themselves differently to different people. And that doesn't, you know, like in a situation like here recording the PCP, I'm behave a certain way and then, you know, in a different situation, I might act differently if I'm with a different crowd or like when I'm at work, you know, when I'm at work, that's me. Is it me keeping a secret that I don't present myself at work the same way I do on here? I think, I don't know. With things like that, it's like, I don't think so. I think everybody knows you have to have a professional attitude when you're at work. I don't think you've, I think everybody you know at work, that's not really them. That's like them putting on their like serious face, you know? Sure. And I don't know, I don't really think there's a moral issue with most secrets, unless there's, you know, some important thing attached to this. If we're talking about like masks and shit, I feel like the masks you wear the most often is the true you, but it doesn't really matter too much whether you're true all the time. I don't think there's a true you, but okay. Well like all of the different masks are you, but like you can only see a couple of them at a time. If you want to say as a matter of convenience, like when you like go home, okay, so when you're at work, you're like doing a job, you're interacting with people, that's you acting a certain way. Then when you like, when you get out and you go home and you're just like chilling, like maybe that's the true you. But here's a question though, if you spend like, let's just say your job is incredibly intense and you spend 16 hours a day at work with your game face on, and then you only spend eight hours a day at home, does that mean the true you is now the work you based on the percentage that's been now? I don't know, I just threw that idea out there. Is it your resting position? Maybe it's your resting position. I think it's the true you. If you have to, if you're at any point, if you're filtering your thought and actions through like what you believe is socially acceptable in that situation, I don't think that's your true self. Your true self is when like, I'm just gonna do what I want and I'm not worried about consequences or judgments. That's who you really are. Yeah, but then everybody would be a rapist. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But the fact that I have never, well okay, that's not going to be personally, but like people, yeah, it's not a secret podcast. It is, that's true. We all, I mean, you know, we've all had a desire to like, ooh, that's a nice piece of candy. It'd be sure nice to pocket that and just walk out. I'm not gonna pay $10 for this fucking lollipop or whatever. Yeah, you know. If they're charging $10, you have a moral obligation to steal that candy. Yeah, that's true, that's true. Okay, okay. I would describe your quote unquote true self like this. Imagine a nice roll or ball of slime and gel and sort of, you know. Don't kind of tell me twice. I have mine here before me, yes. Yeah, yeah. Would it be green? It can be whatever color you think most represents your soul. So in your case, it would be a putrid yellow. Oh, oh no. Possibly have a blood clots in it and sins. Oh no. How am I eating him? Anyway, okay, so you have that nice slime layer. Then you get like, for every context, it's like a new cheese grater you have. It has different sized holes and the shape of the holes are different. Sometimes a really big hole so a lot of slime gets through and sometimes only a little bit of slime gets through. And then when you grate that slime, the residue that comes out, the slime that gets out of it is the bits of you that are still within your mask. But the mask is the cheese grater. You know what I'm saying? There's always gonna be parts of you. It just depends on each context, how much comes out of you. But it all is still you. Oh, so wait, so wait. What if mind meld technology was created and you could blow your brains together digitally and go into each other's consciousnessness and then you'd be like, I know this guy perfectly truthfully and then you come out and then you're like, hey, I get it now, I get you. And he gets you too. Would that be like knowing the true self? Is that what it means to be gay? To have a soulmate? Yeah, something like that. That would be like literally like fucking the slime, bro. You'd get right up in that shit, dude, straight up. I would just like to say that YouTuber, Monkey Jones, has definitely never worn a mask. That's A. Never ever. I mean, he's taken it off so far. But it's like so long ago that the pain doesn't even really get to him anymore. No. Yeah, it's not even painful at all. Pain without love. Pain can't get enough. Pain. Exactly. But I like it rough. And I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. You know, it's interesting that... I wrote that. That's my excuse. You're right. That's, I don't know, that self-censorship kind of thing. It's not really self-censorship, I guess. It's just the stuff. Like the fact that I'm not saying all kinds of like racial expletives, you know, I could if I wanted to. Nega. I could say, yeah, there you go. There you go. What you're trying to say is you're a secret racist. We get it. It's fine. That's a whole lot of it. Me. Charlottesville. Charlottesville. What's that? And Hillary's not actually there. It's just cardboard, don't worry. What? That's not true. I don't know what you mean. I'm here, folks. I just want to announce me and my betrothal to a big fairy tale fan, a creator of Minecraft, founder of every website in the world, especially neopets.com. Hillary Clinton is here, I love her. And here she is with a quick message to everyone. Hello, everyone, my name is Hillary Clinton. Is that Jeff Booth? I love you. Yeah, all right, that's it. She's gone, she's gone. I'm not 50 points ahead, I don't get it. Dude, did you guys hear that she just came out with a book and audio book narrated by herself called What Happened? And it's about the election. I do actually want to read that. Was that, is there a question mark at the end of that title? Is she asking the question, what happened? Is it saying, oh, is it a declaration or a question? We'll have to look into that. Hillary doesn't have questions, only answers. I have to assume that she's acknowledging all of the reasons why she lost because a lot of it was on her back. I mean, if she's just blaming Trump the whole time, then that's not an honest answer. You're gonna open up the book, it's gonna be like tons of blank pages, you're gonna halfway through it, then in big fucking letters, take out the whole page, patriarchy, and that's it. What's that? Yeah, I mean, honestly, I think there's no way that this person will not, like, she's definitely gonna dive into all the excuses, the word, like, what's her goal? It's her goal to be like, you know what, it's time to do some self-discovery, you know what? It's time to look inside. That's what I would hope for. That's what I'd hope for, but I hope that the book, like chapter one should be called I'm Unlikable, but it's gonna be called Patriarchy. Yeah, if she's trying to preserve political capital, then she's gonna be the dishonest, you know, continue to say that. In my head, for some reason, it is a bright pink with fluffy pink fluff on the outside, and a little pen, and it's just a diary, but with Hillary's face on every page. And you can write it. And you decide what happened. It's in the Diary of the Wimpy Kid format, but with Hillary instead of fuckin' Greg. Yeah. Dude, that should be your next thing, monkey. Yeah, I'll do a Diary of a Losing Candidate. Well, I mean, okay, okay, it's not even fair to say that, you know, Hillary was serious about it, because everyone just loved Jill Stein so much. How was she not supposed to get like it? You know? She was just overwhelming. Yeah, yeah. I believe I tried to vote for Jill Stein and failed in doing so, and so I believe that was my attempt. Should we move on to questions, folks? Let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah. That was a fun aside. Oh, it's Jeb Bush. If anyone doesn't further comments, feel free to. It's Jeb Bush, the guy I was thinking of, I was thinking Jeff Thu every time. Every time. Every time. They're the same. It's the same person. But his name is Jeb Bush. But his name is not the son of Jeb, I thought they were like completely different. Oh, no. So, someone should make like the chart where it's all fuckin' yellow, and Jeb is like doing a power pose, once I have that with Jeff, and the PCP subscribers, or something like that. That's a good idea. Okay. Oh, I love Jeff. Just note here, tell me all of your secrets, guys, and come PM me, tell me how many people you've touched in such a way. As Jeb touched the nation during the 2016 election. Yeah. Good idea. Okay, let's see. I'm going to Twitter to get some questions, and we've also got some, I think. I shall get some from the data. Wait, wait, before I do questions, I have a secret. One time, I touched a girl's hand, and I was like, no! I touched it, and it prolonged exposure. No! Did you ask permission first? Because I'm afraid I've got some boys in blue who are going to need a report to your domicile. She grabbed my hand, she was a, she was a, She raped you then, she didn't ask for consent. All right, well. I, I, she's in jail now, don't worry about it. Okay, oh, okay, just as has been said. That monster is locked up. That woman's name was Hillary Clinton, that's why she wasn't available for, yeah, uh-huh, mm-hmm. It was all my fault. It's my, it's my fault, Trump won. Yeah, exactly. Well done. Mo, Mozilla Fiddick can ask, what is the most powerful bug in all caps? Sizer, scissor, whatever you want to call it. A beetle, possibly, maybe, um. Scissor could just vour a pincer. Oh, oh, gosh. He would just use aerial ace and win. Exactly. Recently, I was in France, and in France, they have hornets. There was these hornets, and they, yeah, but it's, it's weird. They're sort of like bigger wasps with long thick thighs, right, that just dangle down next to them, but they're so stupid, they just hit walls and can't stand on anything. Holy shit. They're actually adorable. I love, I love hornets. What I would say to a scary hornet is like, dude, B-drill isn't even competitive. You gotta get the fuck, I'm not intimidated by you. You don't have any good moves. He has like one speed. Have you seen Mega B-drill though? He's like the coolest motherfucker in all of them. He looks retarded, Mega's are bad, Mega's are bad, all of them are horrible. B-drill is Gurren Lagoon. Oh, Jesus Christ. The closest to Gurren Lagoon is without a doubt, scissor. And I like scissor years before I even saw fucking Gurren Lagoon. Okay, well whatever. Uh, here we go, question. I got one at Jade Murrow, our old friend. What are y'all's opinion on love songs? Gay. Love songs, what a good one. My favorite one is the George Harrison something. Something in the way she moves. That's a good love song. The rest are bad. The rest are bad. If I remember correctly, shit, who was it? Not only is that song great, I believe it was- Charlie Ray Jebson with Call Me Maybe, great love song. Some world famous- I actually do like that song. Some famous love song singer who I can't fucking remember. Oh no, I love song, I love songs, that is. Wake me up, when September ends. That's the guy from Green Day wrote that because his dad, I was really hot in the year before. Yeah, that's not a love song. It's like about some guy who died. No, it's about his dad. It's about daddy. Wake me up inside. Wake me up, can't wake up inside, oh Jesus. Wake me up, when pedophilia is legal. And also incest, I love my dad. He's a question, he's a question. He never thought of the song. It was, I was just gonna, I can't think of a good song, but it was, I was gonna say about Gibbs. Some famous love song singer said that George Harrison song, something of the way she moves, was the best love song ever written. Oh, Frank Sinatra, I think it was Frank Sinatra. What's new pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's new pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Reg's girlfriend in the PCP patient lounge asks, how do you be productive? Stop being a bitch and fucking do it already. Jesus Christ. Yeah, you gotta remove obstacles from your life that Olympia would be doing. I have a video watched by me about Van Harmon, who was talking about this very thing. How do you be productive? How do you, he said that the whole idea of like having deadlines and forcing yourself to do it is okay, it gets the job done, but it's not good for growing yourself at being able to do stuff. So the whole, it's better to not force deadlines upon yourself, but to just not take anything you do as seriously as you take it and just make shit and make it bad and go into it wanting it, like making sure that it's shit because otherwise nothing gets made and that's how you do it. Dan Harmon has followed that. I like Dan Harmon. He explains a few episodes of the latest season of Rick and Morty. Oh, I don't know what he's doing. Jesus, burn. Okay, here's a question. At the Vajita asks. Hey, that's a jest joke, he stole that. That's true, there's underscores here. What part of your everyday routine is the worst? What part of your routine routine is the worst? Without a doubt, it's waking up. Waking up is by far the worst part of my day. Waking up inside. At the means, man. I hate getting up. I said literally 10 alarms for myself every morning because I cannot answer without it. I mean, I know you have a job so you have to but I would advise against alarms because I've never, I've got rid of alarms and I've learned to just wake up at the right time is way better. I feel so much better. I wish I could do that. I can't trust myself though. If I could like guarantee that I went to bed by a certain time, I'd try that but yeah. I'm just abusing my body every day that I like forcing it to go away by an alarm. It's not good for you, it's not good. It's the most terrible way to begin getting up is to get shook from my job. Shaken up by a loud noise. When I'm free for my fucking wage slave job, patreon.com slash best guy ever, everybody. Let's hit that $5,000 per month market. I'll be fucking free today. I, yeah, I'm hurting myself. Alarms are cool. I will wake up at any time I want, it'll be great. Alarms are cool because then you can set your own custom alarm clock sound and then you can like go to your friend at the bar and you can be like, what's your alarm sound? And you just say, my dad screaming at me? Ha ha ha ha, look at my scars. Also alarms make you hate whatever the alarm is. I have PTSD for the default alarm sound from my phone. If I ever hear it again, I will get so upset that I might shit myself. Are you ever walking around and then you hear someone's phone rings and it's the noise that you use as your alarm clock? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna die just thinking about it. My asshole got obliterated. Hippo, that's what it's like for me, but even worse because my alarm clock sound is a song from Homestuck. So whenever I'm listening to this biography, I just get that sound and I just fucking. Oh, no, no, no. Okay, so you're making a big mistake. You never put a song you actually like as your alarm sound, you can't do it. It's not legal. Can't be done. Well, you know, it's all about cause and effect and duality and union and new age beliefs. Right, you know, I used to do that. I used to use anime songs as my alarm clocks, but then I start to dislike anime and I'm like, I can't go down this road. I can't, this is too much of a risk. I love anime, I'll die. I'll lose all identity if I keep this up. Malady from the PCP Patreon line asked, would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death? You have to pick one. This assumes that I will die in my life. I would, that's true. I would much rather know the cause than the date. I do not want to know the date. That fucks you up in all kinds of ways. Yeah, cause could happen anytime. If I know the cause, I can train and be ready. Yeah, yeah. Well, to die. Assuming that it's always true. Ready to die. I've been ready to die for years. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, but like, if you hear the cause of your death is a train crash, and you're like, okay, I'm never gonna go on a train again. And then it's obviously because a train crashes into you. Like, you can't avoid it, but if you do any planning, it's gonna be in vain. Any planning at all, the date wouldn't be too bad. Cause like, yeah, you'd just be like scared of knives for the rest of your life or whatever. But if I know the date, I know like, okay, well I have 80 years now to get all these projects done, I guess I better start doing them. Well, you know, that length of term, I mean, what if you find out it's in, let's just say like five years, like how are you gonna choose to spend five years? You know, that's a tight schedule. You're gonna panic, but you're gonna get a lot of stuff done, which could be good if it turns out that the guy who was telling you that you're gonna die is just a crazy man. Yeah, yeah, that's true. If I know I have five years, I'd rather have, cause like, either way, you're gonna die in five years. So at least I can spend those five years being productive rather than being scared of trains or whatever it was. Maybe I would go with time. Cause you think about it, I mean, none of us are gonna be alive in 2100. So we already know there's like a rough date when none of us are gonna be alive. Oh, you don't know about that. You should speak for yourself. You should speak for yourself. Yeah, yeah, I will say. All of us are planning to be alive. I'm gonna download myself to the vapor net. I'm gonna build a copy of your cell phone account. I agree, actually. I actually agree. I'm gonna build a robot, and the robot is gonna be a good robot. I'm gonna put my camera away. I don't think that consciousness is real. And I think we're basically seeing like individual frames strung together like a film that's constantly playing. So it gives us the illusion of a sense of self and a sense of like continuity to our consciousness that is in fact moment to moment. This is too stupid. Can we go to the next question? Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's the least stupid thing I've ever said. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. Dude, dude, I have a tangent. Anti-implelectual. Tangentially related to what you were saying. Cause I was just thinking, I was thinking earlier in the week about like robots being like the literal, the next evolution of humans. Not humans with robotic parts, but like literal just robots. We make them and they live much longer than we can. So they're literally our children. They're gonna last longer than us and they're gonna be able to go and do whatever. But they're not going to be like us preserved. They're just gonna be new people. Yeah, they're just gonna be gatherers. So I wanna build a robot daughter and I'm gonna call her risk and she's gonna be unbeatable. She's gonna live forever in the universe and it's gonna be like, yeah, you know. I mean, you should do an episode on transhumanism. That's a great idea. It's a great idea. Can there be robot pedophilia? Okay, it depends what you mean. You gotta define your terms. Cause like, can a man look at a baby looking robot with lust in his heart and be called a pedophile? I say yes. Can a baby robot in fact be the victim of a pedophilic sexual act? I say no. So that's, you know. Cause then they could just dig and turn your sex robot and I have to wait 18 years to fuck it. I say that's bullshit. Exactly. If you got a robot, you could just turn that crank to make the hole whatever size you want. You know what I mean? Doesn't even matter. I've imagined like an old steampunk like a big old crank. You gotta like cranking over the vagina. I'm gonna make that hole as big as a cave so I can walk inside and I can learn where babies come from. Finally! That makes sense. That makes sense. By the way, what's the name of that? What's the name of that ship? Okay, well, okay. That's about it. That's iconic. The friend of that ship. There's a name, Sisyphus. No, that's not it. Okay, so like if you take a ship and it's out sailing and it gets damaged and you repair a piece and you keep doing that as you keep going and eventually every single piece has been replaced by something. So it is in fact no longer. And you may as well have. Well, okay. So it's like, it's still called like the same thing as it was. There's a name for this, but I forget what it is. It's Sisyphus. It's not, Sisyphus is like the hill that the guy puts the rock up. That's the Sisyphian thing or whatever. It's got some other name that I can't remember. But the point I'm getting at is like, it is theoretically possible that a human being can in fact just become a robot in a sense. If like, let's say that you take your brain and you replace one piece of it with an artificial piece. And then you, okay, you live like that for a while. Or ready, you're dead. And why, so, well, that's the question. Like at what point do you become a robot? And if there is no clear point where it happens. I think you could maybe replace every single piece and just then be a robot. So you know what, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna become a robot that is just has a human penis. Yeah. The last human real penis, I'll be like, oh, it's a real human penis. Whoa, real? That's just, it doesn't happen anymore. Sign me up. And my future robot self will have so much fun. Oh, you'll have such hilarity in his future. Oh Christ. Okay. I'm so goodies, I like to think really hard. That's what you sound like me. Oh my God. Yeah, I don't know if we're doing the PCP or day two of Philosophy 101 at my community college. Yeah, who knows, man? I don't know, that was related to something in some way, I think, okay. No, it wasn't, let's move on. Yes, okay, here's one. At Lord Saiba says, if you were with Digi, what unspeakable acts would you do in his big ass room? I'd take a shit, I would take a shit. That's what I would do. Nate, Nate, did you ever piss on Digi's house while you were there, did you do that? Yeah, of course I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was great, it was great. Okay, so I pissed on his house? Yeah, you know. That's awesome. And then we pissed on him, and then we pissed on his brothers, and it was great. Yeah, you know. Don't you dare take Victor in that way, you son of a bitch. Victor is here. Yeah, I love Vincent, he's my favorite Digi Bros character. It's okay, monkey, he had an umbrella. Oh, thank goodness. I don't know how you got taller than Victor, but good job. He just has a very powerful stream. It can arc quite high, you know. That's his secret power, that's his cutie mark. We introduce Victor to challenge pissing, where if you piss six feet straight up in the air and not get wet, you get no dumb payment and your next car visit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Where did they hold this competition? That's what I would call it. Make no hells. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, look it up. All right, there's no more good questions on the Twitter. Wait, wait, here's an incredible question. How do I support the PCB and get into a cool, fucking Patreon lounge, says some bitch in the audience? Well, Jesus Christ, why don't you just go give us a Patreon dollar or two, and you can get into a Discord chat. He's right, folks, go to patreon.com slash the procrastinators, give it dollar, and you'll be in the patron exclusive chat club where all of us actually go and hang out and talk. We actually hang out there, and it's not, we're not just in there just to hang out. It's a good place. We keep up the rabble. We keep up the poor folks. Yes, we keep out the sheep, the weak-minded people. We can't sell out a dollar. Sheepover is a good person. Sheepover is a good person because she's in that fan chat, I think, or maybe she's not. No, no, she's not. She's a bad person. She's bad, like all the other sheep. She's worthless in every way. Yeah, okay, and you can also get yourself some shirts from the links in the description. Go buy PCP merch, people. And also, don't forget, the $5 patrons get the exclusive monthly bonus PCP episode. Whoa! We're about to record it later today. We're about to record. Which we spoiler what it is. Death Note versus Death Note. Thank you. Yes, that's what it is, guys. That's, it's Death Note v. Death Note. It's the clash of the Titans. Who could possibly come out on top of these intellectual juggernauts? Go ahead. Nobody has ever made a video comparing the new movie to the anime. We're the first ones to do it, and if you wanna hear how it goes, go putz that $5, baby! That's what you gotta do, folks. Just to wet your whistle audience, I have listened to, I may have downloaded the wrong file. I may have tormented the wrong file to listen to this movie. And it may be in a foreign language that I do not understand without subtitles. So if you wanna see me try and piece together the plot from just looking at people's mouths move, then head on over there. There you go, folks. You can't miss it, people. It's gonna be an event of the summer. All right, we're done. Thanks for listening, everybody. Make sure you tweet us at TPCrasnators and use hashtag askpcp to get your questions on here, or be a member of the Discord where you get exclusive shit where we actually care about who you are as a human being. And go listen to the Tom and Monkey Suicide Purge. Best podcast ever made! That's right. That's right. Too hot for YouTube monetization, everybody. Yep, that's right. Was it actually demonetized? Yeah, it's not fit. It got demonetized. Yes! I'm not surprised, to be honest, based on this shit we see. That's how you know we're legit. We're not fucking around. That's true, that's true. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We will see you next time. Everybody say goodbye. Bye! Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Buy our products, buy our shirts, buy our merch. Jesus, yeah, yeah. It's supposed to be worth it.