 Green Directors Playhouse, Star, Claudette Colbert, Production, No Time for Love, Director, Mitchell Eisen. This is the Screen Directors Playhouse, one of the weekly features on NBC's All-Star Festival of comedy, music, mystery and drama. Brought to you by the makers of Anison for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis and neuralgia, by RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television, and by Cannon Towels, famous for color for design for durability, among Towels, America's number one best seller. Tonight the Screen Directors Playhouse is pleased to present a transcribed classic in comedy. Our story is the screen hit, No Time for Love, and here now is our star, Claudette Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, if I were to list the pictures I enjoyed making most, I certainly would include No Time for Love as one of my favorites. I think it's a comedy with just about the right amount of romance and nonsense to make it fun for everyone. But first here's Jim Wellington. No matter what you now take for headache relief, we urge you to try Anison for the incredibly fast relief these tablets bring the next time you're suffering from a headache. Now the reason Anison is so wonderfully fast acting and effective is this. Anison is like a doctor's prescription. That is, Anison contains not just one, but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy to take tablet form. Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anison tablets from their own dentist or physician. And in this way discover the incredibly fast relief Anison brings from pains of headache, neuritis or neuralgia. So the next time a headache strikes, take Anison for this wonderfully fast relief. Anison, A-N-A-C-I-N. Anison at any drug counter in handy boxes of 12 and 30, economical family size bottles of 50 and 100. Now the first act of no time for love, starring Claudette Colbert in her original role of Kate. When a man first gave Catherine Grant the eye, and believe me there wasn't a man born who wouldn't give the second eye, it wasn't difficult to understand why she was one of the foremost women photographers in the country. She had class where it counted and a brain to match it. But there were two things wrong with it. She couldn't get along with her managing editor, Chris Lee. For instance, he wanted leg art and she would return with photographs of geometric patterns made by hangings and riggings in a theater backstage. And consequently she was out of a job. And then she believed she was a career woman. First, last and always. And man didn't exist, which shouldn't happen to a dog. At the moment in her studio she is photographing an egg. Catherine Grant's studio. This is a sister Hoppy. Well Hoppy, off the phone and let me speak to Catherine. Kate, it's the monster, Chris Lee. Tell him the egg and I are too busy to be disturbed. The egg and I are too busy to be disturbed. Okay, why don't you let the man apologize so he can get back to work? I don't need that job. There are other places where the managing editor won't try to conceal his ignorance by belittling my work. And nothing will change my mind. Hello? Miss Grant, on behalf of my wife and three children who must eat, I apologize for what I said this morning and beg you to return to work. Why? Because I don't own the magazine and you're the boss's best girl. Mr. Chris Lee, I defy you to prove that I've ever taken advantage of my friendship with Mr. Henry Fulton. I ask for no special assignments, no special courtesy. I see. May I take you with your word, Miss Grant? Certainly. Why? Well, the Interboro Vehicular River Tunnel project is well underway. Would you care to crawl into the hole and point your talented camera at what goes on? You mean under the river while they're still digging? Mr. Chris Lee, you know that's not my type of photography. Perhaps later when the tunnel's finished and there's an opportunity to achieve some geometric patterns with lights and shadows. But the point is, my dear young lady, that there wouldn't be any tunnel. If it weren't for the men who are risking their lives and creating it right now, we're interested in them, not the walls. Of course, if you demand some preferred assignment naturally, I'm not interested. All right, all right. I told you I'll take whatever I'm assigned. Regardless of the childish, revengeful spirit behind it, go ahead and make the necessary arrangements. And don't forget to feed your wife. There and again. In is right. In a hole under the East River. Photographing all those groundhogs? Sandhogs. Will you tell me why it's become a crime to photograph inanimate beauty? Why must there be only crossed legs and ruched faces and grime and sweat? Well, don't look at me. I had a bath this morning. Well, a hundred. I'll carry your camera and try it, boss. No, thanks. I'm only thinking about these men, will you? Well, the only thing I can say about them is, you've got to be out of your mind to work under a river. You never know when there'll be a breakthrough. You never know whether the pressure will get you. It's dirty and dangerous. And we treat them like temperamental stars. I see. That crane over there with the swinging arm, what does it do? Stoop up the mud? That's right. You mind if I set up my camera and get a few shots? Oh, go right ahead. Men, I brought a woman down here to see you. On the company table. That's the idea of bringing a damn down here. Oh, it's bad luck. It sure is. They're getting out of here when they get my help. Come on. Well, you see, they told me that this is where I'd find real honest and goodness fearless men. Nobody mentioned anything about superstitious kids. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. No, I'm not sure what the lady said. Come on, back to work and mind your language. Oh. Oh, you over there. Oh, me? Yes, what's your name? Jim, Jim Ryan. What do you do? I'm a butterfly presser. I mean, what's your title? There are no titles down here. We're all Democrats. What do you want? Would you like to pose for me? I didn't bring my butterflies. No. No, look, Mr. Ryan, you didn't be cute. I just need a fairly human model for some pictures. That's out. My mama done told me. Ryan, I'd suggest you cooperate with Miss Grant, who resident of the company has seen fit to do so. Well, maybe she's his type. Listen, you... Hey! Ryan, get to it now. Help me with this board complete. Pardon me, folks. Work. Hey! I'm sorry, Miss Grant. Oh, that's all right. After all, the sun isn't shining and he's a groundhog. And I'm still going to get my pictures of him. Come on. Come on, fancy lean on it. You're not getting a free ride on this beam. Listen to me, Superman. For two bits, I'd slug that big yuppie of yours shirt so tight that you... Slug it open, please. I want to see if the baby's cut his molars. Go away, sister, before I bite you. I'll look pretty, model by your lollipop. A little more profile, please. Not for me. I'm giving you full face. Ryan, that way you'd be exposing too much ignorance. Now lean over the beam and make believe you're riding a horse on a merry-go-round. I've got a better idea. How'd you like me to stand on my curls like this? Watch out, Ryan. The crane operator's given the dame the one so instead of keeping his eye on you, he is. Now I'll stand on one hand. Duck, Ryan. Look at you. She's a jinx. Yeah, it's her fault. Ryan's out cold. Get the doctor. Get the doctor. Miss Grant, are you hurt? No. I'm all right. All right, men. Let's get Ryan into the pressure tank. Easy now. We may have busted something. If he does it, no. Do you think you'll be all right, Compton? Lady, he's an Irishman. He's either all right now or he's dead. I guess I am a Jew. That could be, but... You know, if it hadn't been for you that nutcracker would have got him good. Oh. Oh. Here comes Ryan. Oh, thank heaven. Oh. Come on, quit, Stalin. Shake your head and see what happens. There is nothing loose. How do you feel? Are you all right? Are you still here, lady? She is. Is that the thing she gets for saving you no good life? What? Yeah. Who do you think roged you out of the way of that powder puff? She did? She did. Man can't turn his back with her. Thanks, lady. How did I say thanks so long, huh? Well, so long. Hold on. Hey, no attention to him, lady. You big bull-headed goof-aid trying to blame a woman for their mud barges he calls feet. One more crack out of you and you're gonna get a free lump. Yes, kids. Superman's getting sore. Maybe he thinks the lady's gonna save him again. That did it. Oh-ho-ho-ho! Give it to me, Morrissey. Pile into him, Flanigan. This one's for you, Clancy Middleton. Oh, here. Who was saying what? Oh, hold it, Ryan. Pick up Clancy again and start choking him, will you? For what? A life in the raw picture. Thanks. Oh, the doctor and the checker are coming. Come on, get up, Clancy, on your feet. That's it. Morrissey, Flanigan. Make sure they're still alive, will you? Flanigan. Morrissey, Morrissey. Apparently, Morrissey doesn't live here anymore. Come on, lady. Let's get over in a corner. What are you afraid of? The checker. I like working here. Stand in front of me. I don't want him to see I was in a fight. What happens when he trips over Morrissey? And when he comes to? Won't he tell how he got hurt? Not on your life. You men are quite loyal to each other, aren't you? Against outsiders, yeah. Oh, you can take the chip off your shoulder. I'll be out of here in a few minutes, and I don't expect a return. There's no chip. I still don't think you're a jinx, but you're just not my type of dame, that's all. Type of dame? You've been on the prowl ever since you met me. Aren't you old enough to know it? Why? Well, you can see that ape. You know, maybe there is something about you I could like. I don't know, but right now I'm book-solid, so I figured I'd wise you up. You're wasting your time. You're living proof that men can exist without mentality. Is it actually within the limits of your exalted ego that you believe that a woman of, well, let's say, love of the finer-graces could fall for you? Yeah, I don't get all that. Well, let me put it this way. At home in my bedroom, I have an inanimate object, an antique chair, that has ten times more quality in character than you. A chair? A chair, Mr. Groundhog. Good day. A chair! Hey, most folks. This here tripod belongs to the lady there. I'll have you run, you can catch it. Hey, wait a minute, I'll see that she gets that. Do you need to come into your dark room, Case? Yes, Hop, it's all right. I'm dying to see the ape. Can he talk, or does he just grunt and make signs? Wait until you see Ryan's picture. The mental throwback to the alphabet soup era. Well, maybe we could put him under contract and exhibit him. Put on the light now and take a look. Oh, he came calm. He looks like he would eat his own folks. It's one Sandhog against the world, the world being the other Sandhog he knocked out. He did that all alone? Nice, sweetie. Well, Chrisley wanted you to photograph life on the row and you've sure given it to him. Chrisley's not getting this picture for publication. Well, why not? Well, Hoppy, if that were published, those men would lose their jobs. I don't want to be responsible for that. I'll get it. You left this tripod in the tunnel. Oh, well, thanks. I was going to phone. Yeah, well, while I'm here, I'd like to see that chair. What chair? The chair that's better than me. Oh, well, perhaps I was exaggerating a little. I can decide that. Just show me the chair. All right. It's in my bedroom. There it is. This? That. You mind if I pick it up and examine it? Well, handle it with care. It's an antique. You mind if I sit in it? Well, I don't know. Well, I'm going to. Come on, you've broken it. Ah, what do I owe you? An apology. Oh, come on. A chair's supposed to be made to sit on. I said. I'm not speaking about the chair. You make certain remarks today. Well, I'd rather hear about the chair. What was it you said it has ten times more quality and character than me? That is right. Will you go now? You know, you kind of spoiled my supper tonight. When a guy gets the feeling he knows a little about women and then along comes something like you, it puts him right back in short pants. Now, I want to know, how was that chair better than me? Well, it had grace and dignity and beauty. Oh? Well, naturally, you wouldn't understand. I think you're talking through your ears. Like I said, a chair is made to hold people up. That one couldn't. I can't. Now I'm going to hold you up in my arms. You could be down this minute. You want to leave a chair? You get up and walk away from it. Try and get away from me. If you don't let me go, I'll scream. First, I'll kiss you. Now you've got something to scream about. Oh, woman! What am I supposed to do? Hell, I feel better now. I've got my long pants on again. What are you insinuating now? Why didn't you scream? Well, I'm no child. I'll say you're not. But you know, I don't think you know it. Maybe I'll kiss you again. No, I might get interested. Put me down, Ryan! It's a pleasure. Ow! Now you're down. We're here from RCA Victor. What the fireplace was to early American homes, the television set is to modern American homes. It's the center, not only of your life, but your living room. So be smart. Insist not only on RCA Victor Million Proof Television, proven in well over two million homes, but on RCA Victor Million Proof Television in a console cabinet. You have your choice of a breathtaking variety of RCA Victor console models. Every one a furniture masterpiece, worthy to occupy the most important place in your living room. Period models like the Regency and the Rutland and the Hillsdale, which look like treasures straight out of an 18th century palace. Classic models like the provincial, whose simple dignity makes it equally fitting for cottage or castle. Streamlined models like the modern, a clean lined functional beauty on a swivel base. See your RCA Victor dealer tomorrow for your RCA Victor television console, and to you and your family in every sense of the word, happy looking. Now the second act of the screen director's Playhouse presentation of No Time for Love, starring Claudette Colbert. For the following week, Kate slept very restlessly. She kept having a recurrent dream, a very strange dream. A chair, the chair from her bedroom, kept whirling around in a cloud. In her fantasy, the chair was huge while she and her managing editor, Chrisley, appeared as tiny figures. He chased her around it desperately, trying to secure the print of Ryan. And then, from out of space, Ryan appeared and gallantly slugged Chrisley and swooped her into his arms and flew away. Where to? She never could determine. At that point, she always awakened. Well, right now, she is having breakfast alone after her last dream. She's passing, strangely enough, an empty chair. Which of the new plays interested you? I see. No, I missed Harvey. Have you read any good books lately? Books. B-O-O-K-S. Well, of course, if you're of no mind to read, or even if you're of no mind. Pardon me, your spoon. It's in your coffee cup, and it's likely to be in your eye. So at last he's driving you crazy. Oh, hello, Hoppy. Dreams again last night? Hoppy, I think I have the answer. I've analyzed the situation coldly and without prejudice. Now, what's upsetting me to the point where I can no longer call my emotions my own? No, not the man, Ryan, himself. No, dreams about him. Therefore, I've decided to have such dreams when I'm awake and have some control over my mind. You know, you've been talking that way since you were six years old. It must have been something mother-eight. You interrupted one of my conscious dreams. Mr. Ryan is having breakfast with me. Oh, I see. You know that Ryan is completely without the glamour. He assumes at night he's simply a muddy man who works in a tunnel. Now, Hoppy, listen, I'm going to see him deliberately and prove to myself beyond all doubt how completely lonesome he is. What if something went wrong? You know you're likely to find yourself living in a tunnel for two. No, I know what I'm doing. I have faith in my own intelligence. Now, go get me the phone book, will you? Okay. Mr. Ryan. I'll put it on for you in the phone book. Don't bother. I'm not listed. Oh, you must be. Understand, huh? Oh, you're a sweet kid. You knew I'd be in a jam. The minute this picture of me choking Clancy was printed in your magazine. I got a four-month suspension. Your picture? Well, I don't know how they got it. Oh, come on. If I want acting, I'll go to a show. No, I swear I had nothing. Hoppy! Mr. Ryan, before you make any accusations, you should be ready to prove your statement. You took the picture, didn't you? I was tossed out of my ear. Hoppy! What do you know about this picture? Oh, it's nice, isn't it? You knew this particular picture was not to be released. Now, who got it? This lady. Why didn't you tell me? It belonged to him. He sent you out to get it. And besides, who does this monster think he is anyway, barging into people's apartments uninvited, keeping them awake nights in general? Awake nights? What are you talking about? Oh, she's hysterical. Mr. Ryan, I was not responsible for the publication of this picture. I just want you to believe me. Okay. It doesn't help anything, but I'll take your word for it. Fine. You said you need money badly if it's a question of going hungry. Who's going hungry? What, are you angling that saw some charity my way? No. I'd like to offer you a job for the duration of your suspension. Working for you? Like what? Well, I have certain plans. I get it. You know, lady, I told you once, I didn't want to play. If you want to buy some muscles, go out and get a cheap cut of beef. Why, you... Oh! Listen, you pig-hate. I'm not interested in your nauseating charm. I was offering you a job. Posing? No, Mr. Ryan. You have my permission to conceal your magnificent figure at all times under an overcoat and three heavy blankets. You'll be my general handyman in charge of carrying heavy equipment. How much? Forty a week. I'll start at 35 and find out if I'm worth 40. What do I do first? Take off your hat. What are you going to call this, backstage at the Marquis Theater? Ryan, look up there. Look at that pattern of light. Look at those shafts. Yeah. Ain't she a beauty? What are you talking about? The redhead at the end of the chorus line. What an assignment. A day in the lives of 40 little bleached arrested mentalities. Well, people like to know about them. What people? You, for instance? I already know. Ryan, I hope there's no need to warn you about any horseplay. Now remember, we're here on business. Yes, teacher. And we can do without the humor, especially when it isn't. Now you wait here while I talk to the stage manager. Hey, uh... Hey, you, baby. Come on over here. What do you want, fresh guy? I'm Ryan at the Mirror Magazine. I came here to get a few shots. Why don't you say so in the first place? I'm just crazy for the Mirror Magazine. Oh, you are? Oh, give me a break, will you, beauty? Oh, sure thing, cushions. Well, the name's Darlene. Now, how do you want me to pose? Strictly legit or ranky-tanky? Oh, I leave all the pictures taken to my assistant over there. But I can show you how to look good. Get up on the table. Now cross your legs. Little more. Ryan! Oh, I'll be back in a minute, Darlene, sweetie. I thought you understood this was no time for personal projects. Now stand by with my camera. What are you beefing about? I just lined up the snappiest fruit basket in the show for a picture, Darlene. Oh, I suppose that took effort. Well, all I know is what men like to see in a picture. Why don't you take a look, huh? What is she, an old friend, is of today? Oh, come on, be a good guy. Give the kid a break. No, we're interested only in certain types. Oh, you're afraid, huh? Afraid of my bag of homer with your boyfriend here. Huh, I'm wise, sister. My boyfriend? Looks like Darlene's round. What? Well, far be it from me to hide a light from a bushel if that's what the great American public wants. We'll give it to them. All right, smile, Miss... Try to look intelligent. Thank you. Well, hey, my face was open. I wasn't ready. You look better with your face open. Come on, Ryan. Meet you after the show, lover. Merci beaucoup, sweet. Absolute genius. Not only does Darlene think you're my boss, but she also believes you own the magazine. Can I help it if I look like an executive? Darlene's a swell kid. I'm well aware of your opinion, but I don't have to share it, do I? She can do five shows a day. Can you do that? Those simple little dance steps. Oh, I've seen children dance better than that on their hands. And if I wanted to bleach my hair, I could look just as cheap and tough as Darlene and six friends. Maybe you could at that. You better watch yourself. Here's the card. Get in. Hey, you know... you know you're not a bad egg. Hmm? Nothing, nothing razzle-dazzle, but you could be a lot of woman if you ever got the urge. You're talking to your employer, Ryan. No, I like you. Brains, ability, good looks. Everything a man admires in a woman. Well, thanks. Say, uh... Are we working tonight? No. What are you doing? Nothing. Well, then would you be as sweet as you look and lend me your car? Oh, you're a pal. I've maneuvered a date with Darlene. Oh, that's fine. In my car, you're going joyriding. Oh, no, you got me wrong. All I want to do is park it out in front of her apartment for a flash. After all, I'm supposed to be a big shot. Oh, this is wonderful. Positively wonderful. Exactly as I'd hoped. What's wonderful? You're proving my point, you baboon. Hoppy. Look at this picture, will ya? Look at it. Graze and bleach, not a brain in her head. What does she do to you? Nothing. Only wouldn't you know she'd be just the type for Ryan? She'd be just as sweet as syrup to a pancake. Can't be this light that's turning you green. I told you you can't fight fire by eating it. I'm doing all right. One more day like this and I'll be so fed up with the man it'll be an effort to listen to his name. I don't think. Is that Roger playing the piano in the day? Yeah, Henry's in there, too. Oh, what does he want? Don't ask me, he's your boyfriend. Hello, Henry. I had hopes that you might be lonely this evening. Do you have 200 pounds of manhood on her payroll? Who told you that, Roger? Wasn't I supposed to tell? Tell what? She hired a big sandhog as her assistant in a crazy attempt to get fed up with it. Silly idea, wasn't it? Oh, I don't know. I ate a whole jar of honey once. Have you lost your mind, Kate? Are you letting yourself be swayed by emotionalism with a ditch-tigger? No, exactly the opposite. I admit I was attracted to the man. Now I'm deliberately proving how ridiculous the attraction is. Catherine, I insist that you end its association immediately. Oh, Henry. I'll continue settling my own problems in my own way. Excuse me. Catherine Grant speaking. Oh, this is Ryan. Say, how did that picture of Darlene turn out? Where are you? It did, huh? Oh, that's great. Ryan, you'd better tell that girl immediately that her picture will not be you. On the cover, huh? Boy, what a break. Darlene will be glad to hear it, won't you, honey? Listen to me. I don't care what you do. But I demand the return of my car right now. Do you understand? Right now. Oh, sure. I'll explain. It takes a couple of weeks before publication. Yeah, well, don't work too hard, Kate. Good night. Don't you hang up on me. When are you going to return my car? When I'm finished. Finished what? Are you kidding? Cannon towel sales are booming all over town. They're packed with value. Don't wait. Get to your store today and get in on these great money-saving cannon sales. Cannon towels give you the most for your money. Cannon towels absorb more, wear longer, stay lovely longer. You'll need more towels for summer. Get famous cannons now. The big, fluffy, thirsty towels in every size. Bath towels. Hand towels. And wash clothes to match. Complete ensembles. 18 beautiful colors to choose from. More people buy cannon towels than all other towels combined. Get the most for your money. Get cannons. Get them now. Right now. In the big, big, big value-packed cannon towel sales. You are listening to the Screen Directors Playhouse, one of the weekly features on NBC's All-Star Festival. Brought to you by the makers of Anison for fast relief from the pain of headache, neuritis, and neuralgia. By RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first in recorded music, first in television, and by Cannon Towels, America's favorite towels that are special values now during the big cannon towel sales now going on at your favorite store. The Screen Directors Playhouse presentation of No Time for Love, starring Claudette Colbert, continues in just a moment after a brief pause for station identification. This is the Screen Directors Playhouse. We continue with the third act of No Time for Love, starring Claudette Colbert in her original role of Kate with Gerald Moore as Ryan. There is one thing about a woman in love who is on the run. She keeps running away, but always in one direction, right into the arms of the man she is avoiding. Well, that was exactly what happened to Kate. Instead of firing Ryan, she gave him a raise. The reason she explained, as she waited for Henry to arrive and take her to dinner, was, well, it was part of her experiment to prove that Ryan was thoroughly repulsive to her. Hello, Kate. Roger, why are you here? Why not? Food and drink here are free. Oh. Henry has to work, Katey, so I'm entertaining you tonight at his expense. Well, why didn't he phone? There might have been something else I'd rather do, you know. Yes, that's what he was afraid of. Go on out with him, Katey. Any man as understanding as Roger deserves the best food that Henry can buy. Might as well. Where's your, um, sandhog tonight, Katey? Probably in his cage. How's the campaign going? Has he nauseated you yet? Well, confidentially, I'm not making much headway. Whatever he does, he does well. Perhaps you've never had him out of his element. As a matter of fact, I haven't. Well, why don't you try taking him to a literary tea open forum at Carnegie? This is where he'd stand out like a starched penguin. Wouldn't that be a touch on the nasty side? Well, not if you honestly wanted to get fed up with a man. Well, I have time on my hands this evening. OK, Kate, what are you doing? We will be on it tonight at dinner, I hope, by the presence of James Ryan Esquire, local 908. You look very nice, Katey dear. I love entrance. It could be thrown into a panic by a waiter with squeaky shoes. Roger. No, no, no. Look interested. He's coming. Oh. Well, well, look at you. Oh, hello. Ryan, this is Roger. Oh, I recognize him. The piano player is Mr. Henry Fulton's shadow, correct? Hello, and have a seat. Oh, thanks. It is quite a joint. I got a rich uncle buried in one of these. Ryan, I'm sorry our assignment's fallen through, but the people we were to photograph have canceled their reservations. I don't blame them. Why don't we get out of here, huh? Oh, uh, Ryan, Miss Grant and I are celebrating. Celebrating what? Well, uh, Tchaikovsky and I have just composed a number which looks as though it might be a hit. Well, we thought perhaps you would join us at dinner. Well, if that's your idea of celebrating, I'm game. Oh, good. Say, uh, Tchaikovsky's dead, isn't he? That's right. How do you feel? Ryan, your hand's in your pocket. Only if he keeps his fat mouth shut. Here. Oui, oui, monsieur. What soup de jour? Portage à la vie con, monsieur. I'll have that. You have it too, Roger. I'll have it too. Hey, what's this here on the menu? Oh, monsieur, that is corn, beef, and cabbage. Oh, why don't they put it down? I'll have some of that. Five bucks for corn, beef, and cabbage. Please, Ryan, not so loud. People are staring. Waiter, I'll bet you couldn't lift five bucks for the corn, beef, and cabbage. Monsieur is complaining? The name isn't Monsieur. It's Ryan. This is Miss Grant. Get off your horse. Glad to know you. My name's O'Connor. Hey, yeah. Well, how are you? Patrick Aloysius. Now look, now look, pal. We got roped in here on a bum's tear. What's the word, huh? Confidentially, the corn, beef, and cabbage stinks. Well, what is good then? Nothing. Nothing in the joint's good. Now, don't let on that I wised you up. But did you ever hear of a place by the name of Murphy's? Did I ever hear of Murphy's? Did I? Hey, hey, that's an idea. Come on, let's get out of here. Let's eat. Thanks, O'Connor. Don't mention it. Mr. Roger, you owe me for two drinks. Oh. Well, on to Murphy's. Adios, Aloysius. How are you talking? Now, what are you two going to drink? Coffee. Now, I'll take milk. It's not a bad meal for six bits, huh? I know men with ulcers would get $10 for a whiff. Whatever else Murphy is, he's certainly generous. Come on, come on, eat up. You've needed something like this for years. Just how do you mean that? Oh, don't get touchy. I mean you need a little ketchup in your life. Ketchup. Ketchup? I'll blow up my torch if it ain't super bad. How are you? Hey, noisy. You remember Clancy, Miss Grant? Oh, old lady, bad luck. Glad to see you. Hiya, Clancy. Have a seat. The name's Kate. How's things in the cave? My name's Roger. Glad to know you, pal. Who are you hitting on the back? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was a customer. Well, the book of the month to you. Ryan, the turtle ain't been the same without you. They haven't had a good fight in days. What happened to Morrissey? He challenged a dead duck. Oh, he's in the back room with the mob. Spoiling for a brawl there. Yeah? Yeah, come on, bring your friends. Oh, no. We just came in here for a bite. The lady means she's a lady. The lady means she didn't want Ryan to lose his beautiful teeth. Lead on, Clancy. No, there's a woman with the head of her own. Hey, Roger, does she get like this often? Only when annoyed by a man named Ryan. The idea, you know the rule, no dames. Morrissey, your mouth is too low. Sandhogs are rules against women. It'll be interesting to learn how a sandhog is born. I'm not telling you this game. Grab a chair and go on up. Don't be so formal. Hey, hi, slaves. Superman, the old windbag himself. You with the dame? That's right, Morrissey. She cost you your job. What are you hanging around her for? Or am I being too commercial? I think I'll poke you in the nose for an answer. When you grow up, you can. What? No, no. Well, somebody hit somebody so we can get going here. Now, wait a minute. Leave me alone. I want to see if I can send Morrissey through that door without opening it. Oh, now, listen to me, all of you. You're acting like a bunch of children. What good is fighting if you don't know what you're fighting for? We're going to see who's headman. The headman doesn't get their bright, brute strength. He uses a combination of qualities, brains, agility. Oh, that sounds like dirty fighting to me. Why don't you tell us what you mean so we can understand it better? Well, I mean, here you are, ready to beat each other's brains out over a simple little argument that could be settled without a blow. Like how? Like how? Oh, well, well, Roger, Roger, get over to the piano. Oh, right on. Now, the rest of you move this table out of the way. Come on. Oh, come on. All right, if you say so. I remember as a girl, we used this method to find who was our natural leader. What are you getting at? Musical chairs, Ryan. Musical chairs? Oh. Were these kiddies? Well, why not? They want to find out who's boss. Why should everybody bleed to death? Now, now, let's see. There are nine of you here. I want eight chairs. Eight chairs. One, two, three, and there are men. We're marching as long as the music plays. The minute it stops, you sit down. The one who's left without a chair is out. See? Oh, I remember this. It's a game for babies. But what else do you think you are? Toss those chairs back, man. No, no. If I have the chairs, I'll prove to you the superiority of mind over a broken jaw. Sure, sure. Let's just show us how it works. Put those chairs back up. Thank you. I could have dropped you off, Ryan. The same as Roger. It'll be easier to take the subway. It's good night. Ryan. Yeah? You don't think much of me, do you? What difference does it make? I'd like to know why. Well, I didn't say I don't like you. You look pretty good tonight with your hair down. You could have had any sandhog in the place. Except you. Do you want me? Why should I? Then quit playing. I'll see you tomorrow. No, no. Wait. See what your trouble is? Your head's full of hash. If you say, Ryan, I'm nuts about you, you might find out I... I feel the same way about you. Instead of that, you played Chinese checkers. Well, what on earth gave you the idea that I'm nuts about you? Well, are you or aren't you? Well, of course not. Well, then what do you want from me? Why can't I catch a subway? Go ahead, catch it. And do you mind if I quit my job? If you want to. Do you mind telling me why? Because the longer I'm around you, the goofier I get. I'm a grown man. I've taken care of myself ever since I was a kid. By my standards, I'm as good as anybody on earth. And then you come along and start asking myself questions. Like maybe one person is better than another and there couldn't be any real happiness. Just momentary infatuation. Yeah. Yeah, how do you know? Because I'm nuts about you, Ryan. Yes, ma'am. Well, I'm not nuts. Katherine, Brad, are you drunk? Hurry up, manners. Can't you see she's busy? Katherine! Oh, later, Hoppy, later. Ryan, if my own sister hasn't the willpower to do as she intended, I'll do it for her. And if you want to avoid a kick in the pants, you better clear out of here and stay out. What's she talking about? I haven't the faintest idea. Kate, have you lost your head completely? Do you deny that ever since you met the man you've been deliberately plotting to make a fool of him? Well, go on. Tell me that wasn't your plan. Yeah, go ahead. Tell her. Well, she's got me all mixed up. You see, that was my intention. Oh, why do you lie to involve yourselves? You know you've been making a game of ridiculing him, pretending to be so very attracted to him so you get fed up with him as quickly as possible. Why, you even tell that to Henry Fulton, your own boyfriend. To a boyfriend, huh? Hoppy, would you please go inside? I want to talk to Ryan. There's no need. I know what you'd say. Maybe you weren't on the level before, but you are now, huh? Ah, no, that wouldn't be right. In the morning, you'll wake up cold-blooded with that same old routine about maybe one person is better than another. Ah, no, I guessed right from the first kid. You're a phony. From heel to heel. Sleep good. Did you see the headline today, Miss Grant? No, I haven't been reading the papers, Mr. Chrisley. Kaven's Block Interboro Vehicular Tunnel Project. Workers reach point under river where muck is uncontrollable. Not interested in the assignment. Interested in a sandhog named Ryan? I should say not. Well, he's perfected a machine which he claims will permit resumption of work. He's going to demonstrate it at two o'clock today. Of course I could send Miss Russell. The pretty girl with the blue eyes? And ideas to match. Mr. Chrisley, Catherine Grant reporting for Judy. The idea for this machine came to me when I was watching a sideshow barker at Coney Island. This barker put a chemical powder into a glass of water and he froze it. Of course, the trick was supposed to have been magic and it took me a couple of months in engineering school to find out that it was simply a well-known endothermic reaction. Endothermic reaction? Are you listening, Roger? Yes, he's an educated sandhog. Dear sandhogs, we'll enter the tunnel with me and my machine and freeze any portion of the tunnel end to prevent cave-ins and pressure escapes. Roger, I'm going to photograph the whole operation. Well, how can you? No one but the clue's permitted below. It's too dangerous. Take my camera and follow me. Follow you? You mean me? No, I'm just a piano player. Oh, don't worry, Roger. Play Mississippi Mud, the boys down there will appreciate you. I'll now set the machine in the water. Easy, does it? All right, hold it there, Morrissey. Get a power hookup for the machine. Here it is. I see eight spots ready to give in perious and muck in two seconds left. And I see six spots where we can be sucked right out into the riverbed. Those spots you're seeing is from bad bulls. Ah! Give it a juice, Morrissey. Thanks. Now, listen. There can't be any mistakes on this because the first one will be the last. When you yank the boarding loose from the wall, yank it all the way and get clear. Or we'll be shoving these drills through your backs. All right. We've got to freeze that muck before it can bury us. Yes, we understand everything. Now, look, Brian, you give us the count. All right. One, two, three. Keep the drills working. Hey! The pressure is cutting off the other wall. Keep pouring them on. Give me the flash-cone, Roger. Brian, you did it. The muck's freezing. It's working. It's working. It's going down. I wouldn't have worked mutton ears. This is my baby. Hold it. I want to get this shot. Brian, the jinx is here. The jinx is here. Brian, look up here. Keep the drills working. Keep your mind on your work. I'll hang on until it's up to my ears, but no longer, no. Hey, Miss Kate, you're getting too near the edge. You're going to fall into the muck. Watch it. Brian, the jinx. The jinx is falling in. Come on, let's go after her. What about the machine? We can't leave it. Let's get her. Give me a hand. Come on, give it to me. All right. Get back to your drill. Brian, the machine. Brian, the muck's running over the machine. The wands are cabin. We made it. Oh, thank heavens. Brian. Never mind. I guess we're through. No more machine. It was the jinx. It was the hard luck, damn it. Oh, no, please, Martin. I guess cabins can't be controlled with one machine. We only had six. Now what's he use? After what's happened below, who'll listen to me? Hey, you fellas tried hard. I want you to know I appreciate it. Brian. Why don't you leave me alone? Well, if there's anything I can do to make up for the trouble I've caused. No, anything else. I... I wish things had turned out differently because... because I admire you so much and I believe in your ability and I was pulling for you with all my heart. Now, look. The farther you step out of your taller square things, the more it smells like charity. You don't owe me anything. If you did, I wouldn't collect. That's clear, isn't it? Yes. Here's where we get off. All right. Goodbye, Miss Grant. Goodbye, Miss Casey. That's for... Roger. Yeah? Roger, I've just had an idea. They were not going back into the tunnel, are we? No. No, we're heading for my dark room. Listen, Roger, I took a picture while the muck was actually being stopped, frozen. If the picture isn't ruined, it might mean all the difference to Ryan's chances. Come on, hurry. Mr. Taylor, will you please examine this photograph? Well, surely, Miss Grant. It was taken right after they applied the drill. Huh? Now examine this one that was taken a minute later. You can see that the machine has cut the flow of muck to less than half. If Ryan and the men hadn't stopped to rescue me, I'm certain they would have completed the experiment successfully. Well... Look, you can see here that the cave-in which buried the machine is developing at a different point. Oh, you say this picture was taken first and this second? Yes. How do we know they're not reversed? Well, among other things, by the relative amount of mud on the men, how could they be cleaner in a later picture? Well, I guess you're right. Now that you have proof, don't you think it would be worthwhile to finance Ryan in construction of enough of his machines to save the tunnel? Well, that would take some discussion. Of course, we thank you for this encouraging evidence. Thank you. Oh, Mr. Taylor, if you do give him another chance, I must insist on one thing. Yes? Don't tell him why you're doing it. Other than you think he deserves another try. I mean, don't mention the pictures. Is there any particular reason? I'd prefer that he didn't feel indebted to me in any way. Well, I'm willing to oblige you, but I must say I don't understand. Very few men do understand. Each other, I mean. Goodbye. I'll be leading you in this pretty apartment pretty soon. I won't miss you. That, I promise you. No. I'll say, Kate, this evening's news. Listen to this. Ex-Sandhog saves River Tunnel project. Crew freezes river excavations against cave-ins. Work resumes. Ryan's a genius, isn't he? You want to spend your life in mud. Well, I'm in the news too tonight. On the society page. Catherine Grant, prominent magazine photographer, today announced her engagement to Henry Fulton, publisher of Mirror Magazine. Date of wedding is indefinite, but the engagement is to be celebrated tonight by a group of intimate friends of the bride-to-be. Well, that's the most sensible news this paper's printed in years. So Ryan finally did it. Aren't you listening to my obituary? I mean my engagement announcement. Oh, Ryan takes a beautiful picture. Oh, why waste words on him? He put me in my place. And it's a darn good place, if you ask me. Well, I agree, don't I? Romantic marriage went out with smelling salts. Sure, today it's a common-sense institution. And if you don't have intelligence enough to better your position, then you deserve to fall in love and starve to death. Okay, okay. Quit poking your chin out at me. I'm on your side. What do you want from me? An argument, you don't. Listen, Ryan, if you invite a lady for dinner, you take it a dinner. I've been sitting on that hard bench outside your office so long... How soon will you be ready? Take it easy, darling. We'll be leaving in a few minutes. If Poppy hasn't had anything important on her mind... Oh, I wouldn't have bothered you except that my... my carrier pigeon was set. Okay, boldhead. Wrap it up, will you? I'll be waiting outside. All right, what brought you here, happy? Well, don't rush me, darling. I'm being diplomatic. You know, Kate's announced her engagement to Henry. Well, congratulations for me. He's a nice fella. Are we talking about the same Henry? I think Kate should be marrying you instead. What does she think? Oh, she knows it. I see. Well, there's Darlene out there, and we've announced our engagement, so I guess everybody's gonna be happy, huh? Well, I... I did my best. Oh, and incidentally, I'd like to confess something. I always knew that Kate fell for you like a ton of bricks and I'm trying to prove you were no good for her. Oh, she proved just the opposite. Then why is she marrying Henry? You ask that with your toes bruised from the kicks you planted on her? Oh, and if you ever feel like taking any boughs and engineering into what you're doing here, Kate's responsible for that second chance you got. No. Yes, yes. She presented photographic proof to the officials that your machine would work. Why can't that woman leave me alone? I've got pride. Just once in his life, a guy feels that he's getting somewhere on his own. What are you trying to tell me, I'm a stooge? Well, personally, Ryan, I think you're a goof. But, um... Kate will be home between 8 and 10 tonight. Henry, will you be kind enough to keep your eyes on their own sockets instead of in my cards? Play your hand as you see fit, my dear. I'm simply outmaneuvering you. You're getting a little bold, Henry. Hmm? Please, dear, please. Henry, Henry, may I ask if you played that line of clubs? You may ask, copy, but I won't tell you. When you pick up a card, Henry, you're supposed to lay one down. I know rules are aggravating, dear, but so is the way you play. Excuse me, I'll get it. I better come along with you, Kate. Why? Just curiosity. Hello, darling. Yeah. Well? If you would be so kind as to remove your bodyguard, I and you could settle this man to man. All right, hoppy. Settle what, darling? You know what I'm talking about. A guy named Ryan. Oh, nothing remains to be settled about Ryan. And it's obvious you don't realize you've intruded into my engagement party. Ah, don't give me that, Ersas. This is strictly a front. You're still just bursting your stays trying to get my man. Your man? Yeah, my man. Oh, now, looky here, fluffy face. Don't get me mad. Because if I get mad, I'm liable to throw you a dirty look and where I look dirty, no grass grows. Ever. It so happens that I'm not after Ryan and he's not after me. Okay, okay. So he's not after you, but he ain't forgot you. Well, I'm just warning you to keep your chassis out of the way. Now, is that enlightenment clear enough or do I got to make it clearer? You know, I think I'll just belt you one. Yes. You missed your best Sunday punch. Now try mine. Ryan didn't teach you anything. Oh, yes. Sure did. Right on the button. Ryan. Hiya, Kate. Can I show up? You see what I mean? Catherine, this is positively fantastic. Did you have the audacity to invite this man here tonight? No, that was somebody else's idea. Oh. Ryan, what do you think you're doing? Put me down! Watch it, Buster. We got something to settle. You, Kate, follow us. We're going into your room. Listen, you, you, you big lug. Save your breath. You're wasting time. Shut the door. All right, Ryan. Just what do you think you're doing? I see you got your fancy chair fixed. You said once it had more character than I did. You think so? Ryan, if you don't release me at this instant, I'll call the police. Go ahead and call. Listen, Kate, I figured it's time we had a little check-up. Check-up? Yeah, I'll figure it this way. The law allows you to have only one of us, and we all want you. Regardless of what's been said on both sides. Ryan, I... Go ahead and make your pick. Catherine, are you going to be a party to this nonsense? Oh, Ryan, you big lug. No! Catherine, what are you doing with that turtle idiot's arms? Are you going to allow this? Oh, there's nothing I can do about it, Henry. He's so strong. Kate. Oh, kiss me again, you big baboon. Kate, honey, that makes you her baboon's wife. Ryan! Oh, tell her to go away. Tell him all to go away. Tell him to drop over for dinner some night. Tomorrow night? Oh, no. Not tomorrow night. Our thanks to you, Claudette Colbert, for a charming performance. Miss Colbert will return in just a minute with screen director Mitchell Lyson. Next week, the screen director's playhouse will present the Universal International hit, Rogues Regiment. And our stars will be Dick Powell and Peggy Dowell, with screen director Robert Florey. Now, here again is tonight's star, Claudette Colbert. Mitch, come over here. I want our audience to meet you. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the wonderful director of No Time for Love, Mr. Mitchell Lyson. Claudette, thank you. I knew, ladies and gentlemen, it's nice to know you. Every time you direct a picture, Mitch, you make more friends. In fact, any time people see your name on the screen, they're sure of an entertaining experience. Well, isn't that what we always try to do, entertain audiences? We try, honey. Take No Time for Love, Princess. I know you'll never forget all those bars you had to take in mud. Forget it. I felt like Old Man River six months later. And you kept telling me it was for art's sake. Well, it was for art's sake. You know, Mitch, there's something been bothering me for a long time. Why? All that mud for art's sake. I don't even know art. Good night, Claudette. For the screen director's playhouse, come back real soon. You're always welcome. Good night, everyone. No Time for Love was presented through the courtesy of Paramount Pictures, whose current release is Appointment with Danger, co-starring Alan Ladd, Phyllis Calvert and Jan Sterling. Claudette Colbert may be seen in the Universal International Picture, Thunder on the Hill, soon to be released. Mitch, a licensed current release for Paramount Pictures is The Mating Season. Included in tonight's cast were Gerald Moore, Irene Winston, Gigi Pearson, Herb Bygren, Pat McGeehan, Cliff Clark, Ben Wright, Paul Dubov and Dan Riss. No Time for Love was adapted for radio by Jack Rubin. Screen Director's Playhouse is produced by Howard Wiley and directed by Bill Karn. Portions of tonight's broadcast were transcribed. This is Jimmy Wallington speaking and inviting you to listen again next week when the Screen Director's Playhouse presents Rogues Regiment, starring Dick Powell and Peggy Dow with screen director Robert Flory. Listen again next week to Screen Director's Playhouse, one of the weekly features on NBC's All-Star Festival of Comedy, Music, Mystery and Drama. Listen tomorrow evening to the one and only Duffy's Tavern, a Friday night feature of the All-Star Festival. Tomorrow the man called X brings mystery and excitement on NBC.