 So it's like, it is in that sense you might see it as, it's just a symbol of you calling calling things up, calling things up and out that whatever seems to be unresolved or unfinished you know, has to come into the light. It has to come up into awareness. And so, yeah, it's a good lesson for everyone really, that don't be surprised you know, if if there's something that's underneath the surface that's been buried and it's like like a thorn that's prickling and sticking in there, it has to come up. The opportunity is always just for the forgiveness and for the release of it though. I mean, it's not that you can ever do something in form to protect yourself it's, it's more as you let it up and let it out and release it then you start to see more and more that you don't, you don't really need protection the very one that you're trying to protect is not real but you can also see that, that as you let these things pass and let them be given over and given over you work through you release the fears So you're just going through the release route, you know, that's the thing even in this movie when it started to get really dark you know, there was always that symbol of no, no, we have to keep going or don't give up or don't stop you know, it was this beautiful reminder hang with it, hang with the forgiveness, hang with the healing and just to, to give yourself that blessing and saying okay, I do have the, I do know the way out I know the way towards the escape hatch now. I'm not going to let these ego tricks terrify me. I'm not going to be paralyzed and frozen and surely the ego will try everything it can, you know it's, of course, you get going on this route and it's, you're going to face the tricks will come, it will try try what it can to make you feel guilty and when it starts to, when it's like touching a hot stove, you get burned and burned a number of times but then after a while it's like it's like I don't need to go there anymore. I don't need to, I don't need to be fooled again into this this trick it's like my mind is going to like telecups investigate it, investigate myself, send people off and go confront and it's like all this but it's like, ah, I just want to be at peace I don't care about it watch the thoughts come up, temptation for retribution to get back at somebody for vengeance, you know, just watch those thoughts, those impulses arise and and no defense is always the best defense, you know, it's just in this world it seems crazy to not defend yourself but the deeper you go you start to realize that every time you offer any kind of defense whatever it is, it just is like a band of steel, it just binds the mind, you know, in this crazy false sense itself and after a while you start to really get a sense that okay, I will not I will not defend myself and this too shall disappear whatever these tempting things are that come through emails or phone calls or people or confrontations or whatever the best defense is no defense it's amazing when you're just defenseless and you don't don't put up a defense or a fight how it just just takes the wind out of the ego's sails disarms the ego every time you do that it is a journey of just it's not to stoically hold on to thoughts but but you know these things seem to be triggers and seem to be triggering emotions that come up and yeah if you feel stressful, if you feel defensive, if you feel closed down, if you feel shut off and disconnected, it doesn't matter what the feelings are it does seem to have value at just saying oh, I'm going to get in touch with a lot of emotions today and some of them aren't going to be pleasant but instead of trying to conclude something I'm a bad person. I'm not getting this. I'm not spiritual or think whatever it's just to walk through your day and just give yourself that much just like okay, I'm going to feel what I'm going to feel and I'm not going to judge it and I'm not going to try to conclude something about my identity because these feelings come up. I mean you may get passing clouds and passing clouds but you don't have to always conclude that it's going to rain every time you see a cloud it's not you know a lot of times it's just passing clouds occasionally the rains come but for me that was that was a big gift to myself was it was just like let myself feel whatever not try to jam it down, not try to run away from the feelings and then not try to conclude why would I want to conclude anything about my identity something that important because of these passing clouds or because of these thoughts that were coming by you know and if you can just give yourself that much it helps you make it through the days it's like it takes the pressure cooker off it takes the lid off of these these feelings that are buried down there you know we actually encourage people to feel whatever they're feeling here it's a beautiful thing it's not nobody's going around saying don't feel that don't feel that don't feel that you know it's not that at all it's it's let them come and then let them go and if you see the example if you meet somebody and they're happy and loving and they're just present with you and they don't take it personally you know whatever the emotions are in the thoughts well what a beautiful gift that's just a beautiful symbol of non-judgmental unconditional love it just shows you that it's possible you know regardless of of what's passing it's a great gift you know you the more you give this sense of non-judgment to spaciousness you see that it's all for yourself you want to give that gift away you're happy to give it away all day because that's how you keep it and if you're not in that space where you feel that unconditional love then just let the emotions come and don't conclude anything it was a long time in my life where I just heard that one thing from Jesus over and over don't conclude don't conclude give me that much don't conclude you know feel whatever you're feeling but don't conclude the ego wants you to come to a conclusion about your identity that's ultimately what suicide is it's a it's a conclusion that your life is worthless you come to a conclusion and you say i'm going to make a final conclusion here but then the ego pursues you beyond the grave try to kill yourself and you still got that damn ego and it's still with you in your face you can't even kill yourself to get away from it in fact it wants you to try to kill yourself because then it will Jesus says pursue you beyond the grave that's also people will kill themselves I think I'll just I'm going to get it over with and the ego is laughing because it's like you're not getting over with anything this doesn't bring an end to strife struggle pains of ringing the only way out of the dream is through forgiveness how sad and sick to believe that you could escape from a dream of death through death that's really it's kind of just dumb really when you think about it you'd have to have something different if the dream is a dream of death why do you think you could get out of it with death you know when you when you try to go through with it and everyone who comes here seems to go through the birth and the death process in their awareness and and by golly it doesn't get you anywhere it's like you haven't escaped the dream in the least bit just like you kill yourself and it's like still dreaming still dreaming draft still dreaming some of you probably have seen the movie groundhog day with bill murray he literally gets to a point where he's so depressed and so frustrated that he he tries to kill himself over and over again tries to electrocute himself tries to step in front of a bus tries to jump off a building he goes through he tries to put a toaster in his bathtub while he's taking a bath and it doesn't do a bit it doesn't do one bit of a of a release from the dream he's still stuck in the loop he has to change his attitude learn to be truly helpful learn to be of service all those things that he does to finally you know be there and and and have that moment of just unconditional love where he doesn't want to get anything from Rita he doesn't want to get her into bed he doesn't want anything from her the the producer you know he just loves her and then you know that's another one of those movies it ends with a whole scene of white over everything snow like the happy dream of a very bright world what a day this has been yes it's almost like being in love there's a smiling pace for the whole human race yes it's almost like being in love that's the happy dream it's still the thing still spinning because like it was at the end there it's still a dream and yet it's a happy dream it's almost like being in love that's all this world is for is is just for almost like being in love and heaven is the love you know that's what we finally wake up into