 Hey Tony Gaskins here. Welcome back to another episode of Car Chronicles. Now we're still in the Dodge Challenger Superstalk 807 horsepower riding around the city just really vibing and thinking through some of these things that we've been facing and one of the things that I want to be very real and transparent with you on this where I struggled in my marriage. I went through a season where I was equating money. I was equating everything to money because I went from making twenty thousand dollars a year to making six figures and then I went to seven figures and in that time period in that growth I started to just be very literal in my mind and I've heard other men do this on different podcasts that I've heard a few seconds of of God saying how much is it worth what a woman does cooking how much is that worth per day cleaning how much is that worth and a lot of guys know that for some escorts I've heard guys paying a thousand dollars an hour so then a man says hey if I make a hundred thousand dollars then my woman should give me a hundred thousand hours a thousand hours of sex or hundred hours of sex so if you want me giving you sex once a week twice a week three times a week if you're going five minutes 30 minutes 45 minutes whatever you're doing you're looking at probably at the most hour and a half a week and that's on three times so as men we'll start to equate things like this and I'd heard men say this out loud that's how I know I wasn't the only one and I was like man I don't feel like the work that's being done around the house and in the bedroom is equivalent to the money that's being made and man that I realized that was one of the most toxic ways to think and I'm gonna tell you why I started thinking like that because it was men online who was thinking like that and was saying that and to sore ears that sound good like we want that type of advantage like we want that type of treatment we want that but it's in actuality it's not fair and it's not right because money doesn't always equate to itself like to the work like you could do a job and you actually make way more than the amount of hours you put in so I can work for three hours and them them three hours of work let's say I'm filming something the three hours of work could make me a hundred thousand dollars if it's a course or even it's certain videos that to make a video on YouTube can make forty thousand dollars and it's a 15 minute video and in the course of a year it can make forty thousand dollars so we put in fifteen out fifteen minutes worth of work on that particular course of video and then it makes tens of thousands of dollars and then we expect our woman to put in hours of work to pay us back for that and then this man who say oh well they're not thing I don't equate the money like that but we're not paying attention to how it may make us talk to our woman one things one of my things that I heard another man say this online too he was talking about the harshness in how we talk to a woman and how when you talk to a woman in a harsh way it can break her and I've seen that in my marriage where as I was growing and learning I'm talking to my woman and coming to find out my woman may not receive the way I talk and the thing about it is is a lot of times as men we talk a certain way because you play sports or we went to the military or we was raised with a certain type of woman certain type of man and that takes in it skews our mind and the way we see things because we're used to this aggressive tone but our woman who has given her life given her heart given her mind she's given all of these things that she expects a safe space she expects a space of humble caring kind passionate communication but if we're angry if we frustrated if we're feeling some resentment if we're not feeling appreciated if we're not feeling affirmed or loved or we feel like we got a lot of output but not we got a lot of output but not getting a lot of input then it changed the way we talk to our woman it changed the way we talk to our woman and then if you do this over a prolonged period of time it will break you it'll break a person's spirit and I've learned as a man that we got to be careful how we communicate and then we got to be careful what we say and also how we say it because a woman doesn't communicate the way a man communicates and a woman will be willing to grow to change to accommodate to do anything for the man that loves her and cares for her she'll be willing I want you to think about this and I want you to think about the way you talk to your woman the way you treat your woman the way you deal with and handle those interactions in that communication and make sure that you're coming from a place of heart and love and passion and you coming with respect and be a gentle warrior when they come to your woman be a gentle warrior when you sit down to talk to her really think about the way you're phrasing your sentences the way you putting together your words and what you're actually saying to her so that way you can understand knowing her what she's hearing and how she's hearing and anything we say there's typically at least two other ways it can be said and sometimes you got to write down or say all three before saying what you need to say even if it's a tough comment especially if it's a tough conversation if it's a tough ask so hey this Tony gas and thank you so much for tuning in any topics that's dealing in this male stratosphere even if you're a woman watching this and you have something you curious about about how men process something or deal with something throw me out some topics and let's continue to build and talk through this God bless you we'll talk soon