 Okay, so yeah, in a previous class, we covered on the different types of communication like verbal and non-verbal. So in today's session, we can talk about or we can look into listening skills or active listening. So even before we could start with our session, request one of you all to please start the class with a word of prayer. Yes, you can unmute and pray. Amen. Thank you, Asha, for praying. I'll just present a short presentation to the slide that we have. In today's class, we're going to talk about listening or active listening. So let's look into the details. So listening is important because good listening is probably the easiest way to connect with the other people and build relationships. So active listening is the opposite of passive listening. So what happens? We have probably experienced this in a lifetime. So the person you're talking to might technically be hearing some of what you're saying and they are tuned out and okay, and they're just not mentally engaged with what you're saying. And as the speaker, this can be very dissatisfying or very discouraging at times when people really are in big attention to us. Like why am I even talking in the first place? But an active listening looks, sounds and feels obvious. Active listening means listening completely. But before anybody does that well, there are two secrets or two prerequisites to active listening. What is it? Number one, you have to commit that you have to put aside whatever might be distracting you and make listening a real priority. So good listening is first and foremost a choice that you make every time somebody speak. So number two, it's probably a practice like any skill. You have to work at it. So the good news is that listening is not mysterious or complicated. So let's talk about four qualities of active listening. So what are they? So as we study, we can also learn to put them into our practice. So the first one is an active listening. It involves nonverbal communication and they are two sides to it. So on one hand, you're demonstrating that you're engaged and paying attention nonverbally. You put your device completely away. You make eye contact. Your body posture is open and oriented toward the other person. Now on the other side, you're also noticing the speaker's nonverbal cues. They are an expression you listen with your eyes. And part of that means that you're noticing what's happening with the person visually on the mood, on the emotions, and then they are showing or do they look nervous or frustrated or annoyed? By that, you know, we can pick on that the active observation on the nonverbal communication. So secondly, we look into the active listening that involves on the verbal communication. Again, there are two sides to it. So the most obvious part is asking good questions, probably the most, you know, in the common pattern that the good listener could demonstrate is that they ask a good question and then they let the speaker fully answer it like a good mental health therapist who will ask thoughtful questions and then they stop talking for a while and then the client speaks. Honestly, what we are paying for in many cases is just somebody to listen to us carefully so that a good question is a huge part of listening by. And the other part of verbal communication is those small utterances that show the other person that we are actually following them or we are actually listening to them or like I hear you, that makes sense. Sometimes it's not even full words. We just might, you know, just utter some sounds like maybe okay, you know, these are the short small utterances that we can affirm the other person that we are listening. So these little utterances keeps us engaged and affirm the other person that we are actively following them or we are actively listening to them. And the third act of listening involves in responding to what somebody said. The pattern goes like this, like you ask a question and they respond. For however long that takes and at the end of that talking term, to give an informed response to them. So let's say you just asked a person what they have been up to lately. That's your question. And in they talking, turn they tell you that they have been doing diving lately. So you actively listen for a while. They are talking and at the end of their conversation. Now it's your turn. And this is where you show that you have actively listened to that person. And now you also showed by your body language that you were interested in, you know, by paying attention to them. Now that now you can respond to them by saying this sounds very exciting sport or that's really cool that you're doing that. Or you could ask another follow up question like I had no idea that you were into diving or how did you first get into that? Or of course you could do a little bit of both just like I just did both. So you could make an informed or reflective statements and then ask a follow up question. So the key here is for us to respond what they just been saying. So what we don't want to do is like look at them blankly and not react to what they're doing or what they're talking or what they're communicating. But we probably had somebody to do this to us. Like you tell them about the part of your day or something about your life and then don't react. They just have this, you know, a kind of a stone face that's not that's actually not an active listening. So you want a, you know, you want a credit reward for your active listening, then you have to respond to what they just said. So the fourth one here is keep the focus on them and let them talk. Now this one might seem obvious because we are listening but when we decide to go into that listening mode, just make a decision that this is going to be all about the other person talking and not about us. Resist the temptation to jump in without your own story or to change the subject to your favorite topic. Keep the talking turn or let's keep our talking turn and question aside and then stick to whatever topic the other person is interested to share. Now, eventually once they are done, plenty of talking, they will usually be an opportunity later in the conversation for us to share our experience or thoughts on what they have shared. So the thumb rule is to decide at least the first half of the conversation to purely be active in listening. So I hope this four tips help us, you know, help us to listen completely to the other person and by not interrupting them in their conversation. So I'm just asking the class, so which one of these tips you think that is needed for us at our work, at our business, at our ministry, you can share it, you can just unmute and share your views. What do you think is very important and active listening and how we can actually put it in practice. So some of you all can share your thoughts even before we could move. Can I? Yes please. By listening and not interrupting. By listening and not interrupting, okay, the other person. Anyone else can unmute and share? I contact. Yes, I contact body language. Yes, thank you. Anyone else by asking questions? Thanks, Asha. Anyone in the class? Okay. So we understand that listening is so important because it is important. We see that many top employers provide listening skill training to their employees. So good listening skill can lead to better customer satisfaction or great productivity with fewer mistakes and it also increases the sharing of the information that it can turn to lead to more creativity or innovative in their work. And we also see that many successful leaders and entrepreneurs credit their success to effective listening. We have one such leader, Richard Branson frequently e-codes listening as one of the main factors behind the success of Virgin. So what is that? The point here is effective listening is a skill that underpins all the positive human relationships and it spends some time thinking about and how to develop this listening skill into us because they are the building blocks of success. So we see the good listening skill also has its benefits in our personal life. So what are the benefits? Did I put it here? Just give me a minute. Okay, this is for the next. We see listening is not as same as hearing. Some of the benefits we are talking about some of the benefits and we see that the first point here is listening is not the same as hearing. So what is it? Yes, hearing refers to the sound that enters are here in a physical process that is given to us where we can hear. Understand until there's a problem with our hearing. But listening requires more than that. It requires focus, concentrated effort, both mental and something physical as well. So listening means paying attention not only to the story but how it's been told in the usage of the language and the tone, the voice that a person uses and about the body posture. So in other words, it's been aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. So our ability to listen effectively depends on the level to which we perceive and understand the message. So listening is not a passive process. In fact, listening can and should at least be engaged in the process as a speaker. When we say the phrase active listening, it's used to describe this process of being fully involved. So that's what we see. I'm just changing the slide. Okay, we see Dr. Rachel Naomi Rehman says, she says the most basic and the powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. She says perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. The second point we discuss in the benefits of active listening is we spend a lot of time listening. We spend a lot of time listening. So here we have, just give me a minute, let me change the slide. Yeah. Time spent on communication by Adler Rosenfeld. Okay, so his point of, he did a lot of researches and according to his research, here's what he says. He says, adults spent an average of 70% of their time engaged in some sort of communication. So on an average, 45% is spent on listening when compared to 30% of speaking, 16% reading, and 9% writing. So a standard, a lot of time, according to this graph or according to his research, we see that a lot of time is spent on listening. So it is actually worth that we take that extra time to ensure that we are listening effectively. So the third point here and the active, the benefits of active listening is the purpose of listening. So the very purpose of listening is the effective listening is a very important skill that one needs to develop in their lifetime. So why do you think listening is important? My arm was up sometime back. Sorry, I didn't notice Charles. Please go ahead. I'm sorry. Yeah. In the other points, when you are talking about paying attention to the sound and the body language, I find it very, very practical. When you are listening to someone and you are actively listening, you are with them at every point they are talking, you are with them and you are already putting what they call pictures. You are picturing exactly what they are telling you. You are trying to formulate and be with them and try to think as the next. So when you are actively listening, it's like you are with them. You are telling the story with them to a level that you are actively thinking what is coming next. That is when you are actively listening to someone who is talking to you. And to the question that you have asked, why is it important? It is, you know, when you are talking, you are talking what you know. When you are listening, then you are getting what you did not know. So it is important for us to listen so that we can get what we did not know. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Charles. You made the whole subject very easy. Thank you for explaining it and, you know, about the actual listening. Just what Charles has said. I think also listening saves a lot of time, active listening saves a lot of time in an engagement. Yes, you are right. It saves a lot of time. Anyone else who would like to share? Okay. We'll get back to our class. The purpose of listening. Now we were discussing on why is listening so important. One said it saves a lot of time. It, okay, it helps us to understand each other, growing years people used to say one second, let me open the chat message. Okay, for some reason it's taking time to open. Okay. So I see Asharani has posted a message. Okay. It helps us to understand each other, growing up years people used to say, listen twice as much as you speak through. So listening is very important. Yeah. Yes. There's, there's a purpose, you know, because it serves a number of possible purpose in listening. So we have listed a few purpose here and active listening. Let me see if I have that on the slide. Yeah. Yeah. So the purpose of listening, the first point here we see to specifically focus on the message being communicated, avoiding distraction and pre-consumption. So it helps us, you know, to focus on the message that has been conveyed to us where we can avoid the distractions that is coming up. The second we see to gain a full and accurate understanding into the speaker's point of view and ideas. So the very purpose here is where we can understand the speaker correctly and we can understand from what point of view or that he is trying to convey or the idea, the vision that he is trying to convey or trying to deliver it to us. The third point we see is to critically access what has been said, to critically access what has been said. So we will see that more in the critical thinking when we cover on critical thinking. And the fourth point we see is to observe the non-verbal signals accompanying what has been said to enhance understanding to observe the non-verbal signals. So when we look at a person, we just don't only pay attention to the words that he's saying but overall we look at the person, we look at his body language, the tone and what he's speaking for us to understand the non-verbal signals that the person is trying to convey. And it enhances our understanding. And the fifth point we see is to show interest, concern and concentration. So we also convey the person, hey, what you're saying or what you're sharing is actually helping me to understand or this is something that I am interested in or this is something that I'm concerned about. Let me concentrate and learn from it. Now the sixth point is to encourage the speaker to communicate fully, openly and honestly. So the very purpose of our listening is, yes, when we pay attention, it also encourages the speaker in communication, where he can speak honestly, where he can share his heart openly to each of us. And the seventh point here listed, we see that to develop a selflessness approach putting the speaker first, it shows that like, you know, we respect you, we honor you, please go ahead and share what you have prepared for. Now the eighth point here we see is to arrive at a shared and agreed understanding and acceptance of both sides view. So we come at a conclusion like we agree, we understand and we accept of both sides view. So all this is conveyed by a reformation of words, by simple actions or sounds that we utter and by our body language as well. So often our main concern and listening is to it shows in the way we respond. So we can only respond when we have actively heard through what this person had to say so that we can give a correct response to what the person shared. So effective listening requires concentration and the use of the other senses. It may not be just our hearing or the spoken words, but listening is not at the same time as hearing. In order to listen effectively, we need to use more than just high ears, our body language, the way we can read the words, the actions, the affirmation, the smile, everything counts, eye to eye contact, many things. So with that we will go get into the principle of listening. So we see that a good listener will not only listen what has been said, but he also understands what has been not said through the nonverbal language, through the body language and other things. So he is open and he is watching his focus and overall understanding is trying to get. So effective listening is therefore involves our observation of our body language and noticing the inconsistencies between the verbal and the nonverbal messages and as well as just what has been said at a given moment. For example, if someone tells you that they are happy with their life, but through with tears in their eyes or credit deed, so we should consider that the verbal and the nonverbal message are not matching and not going along. And that's when we need to know that there's something wrong with this person that you need to check with or talk to and find if they need any help. So listening is therefore not just a matter of using your ears to the words that's been conveyed, but it also involves your eyes and the other senses to understand the person from the tone that he conveyed, the body language, you know, there are other things that involves for us to understand that person, what exactly he's trying to say. So here we see the 10 principles of effective listening. Let me put up the slide. Here we go. So when we talk about the 10 principles for effective listening, the first one in the list is stop talking. Don't talk, just listen. Why do you think we should not talk? Anyone in the class? I think it causes destruction and somebody might end up losing focus. Yes. Anyone else? So that we are able to understand completely what that person wants to say. We can interrupt and you know, miss out on the thing that he wants to, she wants to communicate. Yes, you're right. Thank you Abneen. Yeah, it's very important to listen so that we understand the person from what point is he trying to talk or what is he trying to convey or how can we be of help to that person. So Mark Dwayne says this way, if we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one here. Isn't it? That's something nice. Makes us to ponder and think. With that, we will move on to the second point. Prepare yourself to listen. Prepare yourself to listen. So we need to relax. Now, why, how can this point be useful to us? Can anyone in the class unmute and share? Can I say something, Pastor? Yes, please. Preparation or preparing yourself to listen now brings you to a level of concentration, to a level that you, even the the person that you are listening to is going to know that you have given them their time because you will emotionally lay down all other things that are going, were disturbing you. Maybe you had something in the brain that was, you were thinking, maybe there are some things that were absorbing your thoughts. You, when you prepare to listen, that means also those ones are laid off and you are focusing on the person you're going to listen to. Thank you. Thank you, Charles, for sharing that. Yes. Prepare yourself to listen is just giving that, we are prepared to give that time to that person and listen to what that person shares. And we're not going to allow any kind of distraction to disturb us or we're not going to interrupt the other person unless and until it is needed to clarify something for a better understanding. Okay, but otherwise we're going to listen. So to listen, we need to prepare our mind. We need to get our mind trained to listen to the other person and try to avoid any kind of thoughts that could interrupt our focus on listening or to concentrate what the person is trying to say so that we can understand that person better and we can try to give, share our inputs or just be there to help and assist that person. Okay, so with that, we'll move on to the third point we talked about, put the speaker. Something on that preparation. Sorry. Yes, please go ahead. Yes, please go ahead. I think proper preparation also instills confidence and encouragement on both parties when they are talking or engaging. Yes. Thanks, Kennedy. Yes. Okay. But that we'll move on to the third point. Put the speaker at ease. Help the speaker to feel free to speak. Now how do we do that? Anyone in the class can unmute an answer? I think this still goes back to the second point too. Because you have to clear an environment that has ambience, where you can easily talk without minimum destruction, where you can sit properly and have the right attention, even develop good eye contact. Yes. Yes. Thanks, Kennedy for sharing. Yes. Even the atmosphere matters. If in case we set a atmosphere which is very noisy, then the person who wants to share the art out may have to face a lot of disturbance or distractions. Yes. We need to see to it that even the atmosphere is set right for the person to speak, not by rushing words, by giving attention. I'm just opening the chat. Just give me a minute. We have some things here by concentrating. Okay, Kunglu shares preparing to listen shows that we are open to other people's idea, that is on the second point. Okay. And Aasha says not by rushing the speaker. Okay. And Siddhan shares that by giving attention. Yes. Can I say something about putting someone at ease? Yes, please. Yes, go ahead. Put someone at ease is like you gain their confidence, but also they feel that you are around. You are with them and that they are not on judgment, especially if it is something like a counseling session and you are going to listen to them. They are not in court. They are not going to be following rules like they are supposed to speak according to this rule and this rule. So when someone is put at ease, then he is going to throw. Putting someone at ease makes the person who is speaking to throw well, not really being intimidated. Not feeling intimidated. Thank you. Right. That's exactly his need. Thanks Charles for sharing that. The third point by putting the speaker at ease. So with that, we will move on to the fourth point, which says remove distraction, remove distractions where focus on what has been said. So it is very important how to remove the distraction, how can we be focused and what has been said. Anyone in the class would like to unmute and share on this point, share your views on the fourth point. Just that we stop doing whatever we are doing and maintain that posture and eye contact and everything what we are learning, put into practice, write that time so that the other person feels free to talk and we show that concern and show that we want to listen, feel that, make that person feel that we really want to listen to what you want to say. Yes. Thank you. Thank you Avni for sharing that view. Okay, Arisen, yes, you can go ahead please. Okay. One other aspect that I'm looking at right now is that it is possible for us to look at a physical aspect of removing a distraction. But one other aspect I'm looking at is removing distraction emotionally. You know, there's a tendency for us to be communicating with someone and our minds are not there. So anything that is going to make you think outside the communication you're having with that person, then you may just want to take it off and have a total concentration on what the person is telling you or what the person is trying to communicate with you so that you have invalid information to give back when it is your time to share. Thank you. Thank you, Arisen. That was a valid point that we can look into it. I also see Christopher's hand has been raised. Yes, so I think this, I think it's being mentioned about going to a quiet place and so that would be one of the ways of removing distractions. But the other thing also is in the current and the present time, I think the mobile phone is sometimes a big distraction. So if it's an important meeting, then we actually indicate to the person who's speaking to us that we're going to put the phone on silent mode and give undivided attention to that person instead of getting constant beeps and getting calls coming to the mobile phone. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Christopher, for sharing that valid point. I think that's the major distraction that we need to avoid in this era. Thank you. Yes, please. Even in the sitting posture, for instance, if you are a man and you are going to to listen to a woman and they're wearing maybe a skirt that is above the knee and you are going to distract you, you can see in a way that you are going not to see the knees and the thighs to make sure that you are not going, you yourself, to be distracted. And if you are to sit outside and you are and there are cars moving about, you make sure that they are not going to become a distraction. You can try a place where you will not be seeing the rectory onto the moving vehicles. If it is in a school, then you might need a place where the people are not going to be entering in. They are not going to be knocking, knocking so that the distractions are removed. But also, in addition to Christopher's point of telephone, there is also television. Maybe you are in a room and then there is television. Then it is, I think to me, to be advisable even to remove the television so that you are able to listen attentively. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Charles, for sharing different distractions, how we can avoid in a setting. It all depends on the setting, the atmosphere, where exactly are we sitting for a conversation or for a conference, for a meeting. Yes. When we want to focus or being focused on what the other person says is like, you know, we can avoid all these unnecessary distractions that could come our way, but that we will move on to the fifth point where we can empathize. We can try to understand the other person's point of view. So how do we empathize? How do we understand the other person's point of view? If there are any two from the class can unmute and share your point of view on how to empathize so that we can understand the other person from the point that they are trying to share or the point that they are trying to speak. Can I say something about the non-verbal, rather the verbal, when you were sharing and you talked about, thank you, I hear you. Now, if maybe you want to empathize something, maybe you would ask a question like, did I hear you correctly? Were you saying like this? Maybe you get part of the sentence that they spoke and then you ask a question. Did I hear you this? Can you repeat for me this? That's what I think would Kaleb emphasize a question, rather the conversation so that the point is really emphasized. Thank you. Thank you, Charles. Anyone? Yes. I think by inviting them courierly and making them feel accepted. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Is there anyone? Yeah, I think the other thing is also the non-verbal body language. In some cases, when we are listening and we are not concentrating, we may be not really showing empathy. I read some certain times when I talked about serious things to someone and the person has switched off and maybe before we talk about the serious things, there is a time where there may be something humorous happening. There is a smile and then when we talk about the serious thing, again, the smile is there. It shows that the person is distracted and it's not even being a part of the conversation. To really show empathy, we need to be able to also demonstrate the correct and non-verbal communication. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Christopher for sharing on that point. Well, with that, I think we can stop with this. The next five points we can share and discuss it out in the next class. We can end this session with a word of prayer. I'll pray. Dear God, we thank you. Thank you for this hour that you give us week after week where we can develop the skills that is needed for each of us Lord with a better understanding where each one can be equipped so that we can be excellent in our work, in our ministry, in the area that you have called each one of us Lord. Thank you Father. Thank you Lord that you are doing a great work in us. The God who called each one of us is faithful enough to lead us, guide us and strengthen us. Father, we surrender and commit each of us into your hands Lord. Thank you Lord. In Jesus' name we pray amen. God bless and thank you so much for joining in today's session. Have a great day and a weekend. God bless. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. God bless. Thank you.