 If you're someone struggling with your mental health because you have a hard time setting up healthy boundaries with the people in your life, then you're definitely going to want to watch this video. In this video, I'm going to give you a little bit of a cheat sheet to help you out with setting up healthy boundaries. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And welcome back to another video where we're going to be talking about how to be a better person. So those of you who are my loyal subscribers, you're like, man, Chris uploads a lot of videos. But last week he only uploaded a few. Well, let me tell you this, my mom and my nephew came into town so most of the weekend I was hanging out with them as well as my son and my beautiful girlfriend. And those of you who follow me on Instagram, you saw I was snapping pictures and taking videos. We did a bunch of cool stuff out on this Las Vegas trip, even though it's a million degrees outside, but it was a great time. So I kind of took a little bit of a break. So that's why I'm jumping back into this topic this week because I can literally do a million videos on just how to be a better person in general. So one of these things is setting up healthy boundaries. So this cheat sheet that I'm about to dive into in a minute is something that was given to me by my beautiful girlfriend. And he might be like, but Chris, how did she come up with that list for healthy boundaries? Well, I'm glad you asked. Let me tell you. I actually got it from her amazing therapist, her amazing affordable therapist. And now you're like, but Chris, where did your girlfriend find an amazing affordable therapist? I'm glad you asked that too. My girlfriend actually uses better help online therapy and her therapist is amazing. So if you would like to work one on one with a therapist, go ahead and check out the description down below. Better help is affordable. It's all online. You can text, you can do calls, you can do video calls. And basically what you do when you go in there, you fill out a questionnaire, you talk about your own personal issues and based on what you put in that questionnaire, it matches you up with the therapist who's right for you. Like whenever my girlfriend tells me about, you know, what her and her therapist talked about or the advice her therapist gave her, I'm like, man, your therapist is amazing. So if you're interested in checking out better help, again, check out the description below. There's a link in there. Not only will it help you improve your mental health by working with a therapist, but it also helps support the channel. All right. But anyways, jumping into boundaries, boundaries is huge. Like setting up boundaries is a big deal, especially if you're a people pleaser. Because what happens is sometimes we do too much. We do too much where we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations or we let people walk all over us because we might have a fear of letting people down. We might have a fear of people judging us. We might have a fear of people that not liking us. But for some of us, when we don't set up boundaries, we're enabling someone's behavior. Like those of you who know an addict or an alcoholic, not setting boundaries is actually enabling their poor behavior. And when it comes to addiction, it's potentially killing them. So in so many cases, we have to set up boundaries to protect our mental health. Like the way I look at it, and I often say like, I'm fortunate, I'm glad that six years ago I almost died because things are very black and white for me. They're very black and white for me. Like if I don't maintain healthy boundaries, I could die. Like my mental health is the most important thing in my life and it helps me get past my fears of worrying about what people are going to think about me and stuff like that. When my mental health is my number one priority, like it's much easier to set up these boundaries. So I'm about to go over a little cheat sheet with you and I'm going to link it, not link it. I'm going to write it down in the description below and I highly suggest that you write this down on a note card or something like that and keep it with you at all times when you feel like maybe this situation is something where I might need to set up a boundary. All right? So let's begin. So this is titled, What Do Boundaries Feel Like? So number one, it is not my job to fix others. So like, you know, sometimes we'll refer to it as like captain save a person and you put on this cape and you're trying to fix others. And like this is where you need to set up a boundary. But also for me, a lot of it is like accepting the fact that I can't save everybody. Like I have a hard enough time saving myself. So when I realize that I can't save others, I'm able to set up boundaries. Now that doesn't mean I don't help other people, but I know my limitations. Next is it is okay if others get angry. Like, man, some of us latch on to this idea that somehow someday everybody on planet earth is going to like us. Everybody's going to love us. And what happens is we waste so much mental and emotional energy trying to make people like us. But like, man, it's okay. Like I accepted a long time ago. There's just going to be people who don't like me. There are people who don't like me. I always say this. If you are taking care of your mental health properly, you're going to make some people upset. Okay. And the reason I say that, I tell my clients this all the time, is because it means that you're setting up healthy boundaries. All right. So the next one is it is okay to say no. It's okay to say no. Like, you want a good example? How many people say no to you? Right? Like think about that. It's all right to say no. Next, it is not my job to take responsibility for others. Like this, this is something that people with codependency issues or enablers, they struggle with a lot and like, they don't, they don't want other people to fail or they'll take too much responsibility and say, oh no, no, no, no. That was my fault. That was my fault. No. No. That's their fault. Like for example, my son's nine years old. I do my best on a daily basis to instill good values, morals, life lessons and things like that in him. If he makes the choice to go screw up, that's on him. That is on him. I've done my part. He needs to accept responsibility. We cannot keep bearing the cross of other people. We do not have to accept responsibility for what they are doing. Next, I don't have to anticipate the needs of others. This just brings to mind where like we beat ourselves up. Like I should have known. I should have known. I should have known. I should have done this. I should have done that. That's on a daily basis is do the best that we can do next. It is my job to make me happy and I'm going to do a whole video about this, but our happiness is our responsibility. So one of these things. And this is a boundary that sometimes you have to set up with yourself. Like you have to realize that you can't rely on other people for your happiness. Like this is running a fool's errand. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. The reason why that's so important. The best example I can give is people who get in toxic relationships, they think other people are going to fix them, so they're making somebody else responsible for their happiness, alright? So, the next one is, nobody has to agree with me, beautiful. This goes back into, we're not going to have 100% of people love us and like everything that we have to say, but that's cool, that's, you know, and this can go into a whole video about like healthy communication and stuff like that, like I really value my friends and the people I surround myself with, because we don't have to agree with each other, but we still love each other, you know what I mean? The next one is, I have the right to my own feelings, like for any of you in a toxic relationship, like we have to recognize that it's okay to feel, we're all right to have these feelings, like I haven't done any videos yet on gaslighting, but like it's okay to feel, any feeling that comes up within you is completely normal and it's okay, right? Now, we need to work on our emotional regulation, if we're, you know, having outbursts or having toxic behaviors based on our feelings and emotions, that we need to work on, but if you get angry, if you get sad, if you get frustrated, those are completely normal and you have a right to your feelings. Don't let anybody tell you that you shouldn't be sad, you shouldn't be angry, you shouldn't be happy, and also don't say that to yourself either, not healthy. Go check out my other video on how to love yourself a little bit more and be a little bit more compassionate. And lastly, it says, I am enough, all right? And this is sums it all up, right? Setting boundaries and stuff like that is realizing that you're enough, you're okay, like when you begin to love yourself and appreciate yourself more and you believe that you are enough, now the opinions and thoughts of other people don't affect you as much. And like, I just wish I wish I could transplant that into people, but so many people hold other people's opinions so, so, so high and we need to really start checking that, especially when we're valuing the opinion of someone who isn't living the best life, like, you know, like you might have that loser friend or that crazy relative who's miserable all the time. Like, why are you valuing their opinions so much? The only thing that matters is that you are enough. When you start to believe that you are enough, other people start to believe that you are enough as well. All right, so do me a favor and share this video. Share this video with other people so they know what healthy boundaries look like. Again, I'm going to list all of these that I went over down in the description below. And if you want to check out BetterHelp Online Therapy, it's affordable and it's very, very, very convenient. Check out the description below. All right, but let me know down in the comments below because I might do some follow-up videos. If you would like me to touch on anything in a specific video, like, feel free to sign up on the Patreon. I'm doing more and more stuff with the Patreon supporters and trying to get video ideas and topics that I could talk about in this video. Or if you just want to leave a comment, maybe I'll be able to get to it and tell me about the boundaries that you struggle with. All right, but anyways, that's all I got for you today. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you are new here, I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well-being. Click that little round subscribe button and a big, big, big thank you to everybody supporting me over on Patreon. And if you would like to support the channel, look, I made it convenient. You can just click the top right there. All right, thanks so much for watching. Set up some healthy boundaries today and I'll see you next time.