 Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands but let it go and you learn at once how big and precious it is. Maxim Gorky Happiness seems to elude us many times and we wonder what to do. If one could find a way to package and sell happiness in little bottles, such a person will make a lot of money. However, the person will also need to use the product as happiness is rare. If ever, stable in one's life, things come and go, the sun rises and sets, the years come and go, people are born and people die. And in all these, we find happiness, sorrow, joy, sadness and sometimes a mix of them all. To remain happy, there has to be a change of mindset and a shift from the practices which have promoted sadness in the past. Happiness is a state of mind which depends totally on the individual who seeks it. In the pursuit of happiness, one must look within and make deliberate decisions to be happy and then protect the newly found happiness with all they've got. In the ideal world, once happiness is found, the finder remains in that state perpetually, simply because it can't be lost but we live in a real world where everything tries to steal our joy. The question then is, how do we remain happy no matter the circumstances? How do we protect our happiness? There is no one right answer to these questions but there are tips on how you can work at it and below are 5 such tips. 1. Stop Trying Hard Edith Watten said, If only would stop trying to be happy, we would have a pretty good life. Some too many people are looking forward to being happy. They try to catch happiness and so they allow it elude them until they get to the point where they recognize it based on their definition. The truth about happiness is that you can find it wherever you are no matter what situation you find yourself. By trying too hard to be happy, by chasing all those things you think would make you happy, you miss out on being happy right now. Some people are chasing more money and so they miss out on watching their children grow or they miss out on having a loving relationship. Some are chasing fame and they miss out on the necessary genuine human connection which makes the world go round. Stop trying too hard to be happy. Chasing happiness won't make you happy, start living happily instead. 2. Stop Seeking the Next High One of the many reasons people get addicted to hard drugs is their search for euphoria. They yearn for the states where everything looks great and they are oblivious to the troubles in their lives. When the effect wears off, they take another dose if possible a higher one. The cycle continues and they are addicted. However, some people are addicted to getting high on other things which are not hard drugs in search of the same euphoria. For some, it is a new job. The novelty trail and challenge that comes with a new job makes these people be in the market for a new job continually. To some others, it is a relationship. They believe that a relationship will solve all your problems so they jump at every opportunity to be in a relationship no matter how abusive, premature, inappropriate or unnecessary it may be. Stop looking for the next thing to make you high on happiness but be grateful with what you have and make the best of it. Remember your happiness depends on you. 3. Stay in Control Each time you blame something, a situation or someone for your unhappiness, you hand over the reins of your life to the thing, the situation or the person. That is no way to leave. Assume responsibility, avoid the blame game and take charge of your life. Your life is yours to leave. It would be best if you didn't make a mess of it but it is yours all the same. Don't throw or invite yourself to a pity party by acting as if you have no say in your happiness. If you don't like a situation, get out of it. If you don't like something, do away with it. If you don't like the way you are being treated by someone, speak up and if they refuse to change, avoid them. The plan is to protect your happiness and preserve it. It is your life. Do not leave its happiness in the hands of others or any other thing. Decide to be happy and stay happy. 4. Take Action This tip is a follow up from Staying in Control. If you discover that something robs you of your happiness, you can complain about it or you can avoid it but none of these will make it go away and that means that you will remain in a state of unhappiness. If you know that there is something you can do to regain, maintain or preserve your happiness, get to it. Many times our unhappiness about a situation comes from a feeling of helplessness. If you can do something, you can change the story. If you can change the story, then you can make it a happy one. If you can make your story a happy one, why are you still unhappy? Does the thought that you are fat make you unhappy? Start jogging and start eating healthily. Does your lack of confidence make you miserable? Attempt to do daring things. The more you attempt, the more confidence you will feel. Preserve your happiness. Do that thing whatever it is. 5. Expect Nothing Immediately One of the sad realities of life is that nothing is guaranteed. Hard work and diligence give rewards in one way or the other but the rewards might not come to the athlete in the form of him winning the race. There are a lot of factors that come to play in our desired results and it is wise to expect nothing especially immediately. Do not jog for 5 days straight and expect that you would become a size 0 bikini model in that time frame. Everything has a timetable and some things never happen as we hope. To avoid getting disappointed and discouraged, find many other things to encourage you in your journey of self-development. Exercise because you feel more energetic and better about yourself when you do. Eat right because you are taking charge of your health and laying the right examples for your children. Do not smile at people because you expect them to smile back. They might not. Smile because you want to smile. Happiness means many things to many people. For some, it is seeing others smile. For others, it is being self-reliant. For another group of people, it is in having their own space. Whatever your definition of happiness is, a time comes in life when it will come under threat. Life is full of up and downs and nothing in life is guaranteed. The wise way to live is to stay prepared in mind. Using the above listed tips, you may not always be ecstatic but you will forever remain in a state of gratitude. You must stay grateful because if you can be thankful for what you have, you will always find a reason to be happy. If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have. Rejoice in the way things are. When you realize nothing is lacking, the world belongs to you. Lao Zou