 If you suddenly wake up with a pumpkin up your butt, you're probably Corbin. If you wake up with no- The f**k! Dr. Stupid Rections Idiots from Corbin. If you wake up with a pumpkin up your butt, go see a doctor immediately. Also, Instagram, Twitter, more juicy content, you can find the link in the description below. Today we're doing some comedy. I believe it's a feminine female person? I don't know if she's feminine. She's the masculine female people? Yeah, there's masculine people. And a gaveler would take a really big... Say her name for me. Uruj Ashfaq. And this is called Uber driver and grandmother. Ah, okay, cool. Rick was an Uber driver at one point? I was. I have had... I think I counted at one point. I think I've had somewhere between 25 and 30 different vocations throughout my life. Nice. And I've had 25 different residences. Sounds like he's an actor. Yep. Here we go. Takes me two hours to go home and come from home. So I'm always thinking about going back home. I'm in bus number 105. I have to call an Uber, okay? And the thing is, no one wants to go to Navya Mumbai. Including myself if I had a choice. So I have to call the Uber driver and I have to confess that I have to go to Navya Mumbai. He's okay. Like, the first phase is very enthusiastic. He's like, yes, ma'am. Will it work? Of course it will. I have to go to work. Will it work, ma'am? Of course it will. And then he hangs up and he kisses the driver. He said, yeah, I'm okay. And I said, I have to eat. He said, okay, in a normal pitch. He cut the call. He started the trip without me. He said, come and murder me. So one night what happened is I was trying to get home, okay? And three times people started the trip without me. And by the time the fourth guy came, I was in tears. So I sat in his cab and I was like, Sir, you know what happened to me today? I was like, three people have started my trip before you. They took my 150 rupees. And he said, yes, ma'am, I'm very bad with you. You're lying, right? That's how you do it. He doesn't have any faith. I was like, he's right. There are bad people everywhere. He said, ma'am, I was like, what? Were you Muslim? I was like, did you see my name? Obviously Muslim, right? It's not like Zubeda or Fatima or Mughal-e-Azam. Prime major, please. Micro, I'm not ashamed. All right, okay, I have two hours to get home. I have two options. The first option is I can either be offended and be like, what do you mean Muslim? They say, how does that matter? And you say, sorry, ma'am, I don't have anything. I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm sorry, ma'am. The second option is that I can find out for free what Hindus say to each other when they're alone about Muslims. And you know what I'm talking about? You've done it. Muslims also do that shit. So I was like, I think I should just agree with you. I was like, yes, they will be Muslims. I said, Muslims will trust me. He opened up. He was like, yes, ma'am, all Muslims are like this. All of them are thieves. One number of thieves. I was like, shall I come with you? I was like, especially Shahrukh Khan, how do you play the same role in a movie? So that's fair. And he kept going. He was like, thieves. He ate non-veg and didn't know how to marry his sisters. I've done two of these since today. I had a McChicken for lunch and haven't showered. How did he know maybe every stereotype is based in some truth? The point of this was to interrupt him at some point and be like, sir, there are good people and bad people in every religion in India. It's my country. All he needs are my brothers and sisters. I was like, sorry, Muslim. I came from my house and I was like, I have to say something. Okay. So I gathered my courage and I was like, sir, I showed him how Uber app. I was like, three of them are Hindus. Hindus. Hindus. Showed in the news. He was like, hi, ma'am. I was like, I don't have any faith in him. And by the way, Uber app has this small thing. And then I was like, now it's time for the big one. You know, I'm also Muslim. Case to stand up in the cab, I order. I'm in my spine and I am looked into his rear view mirror. He was like, he felt sorry. He was like, sorry, ma'am. I said too much. You know, he's like, I'm not a Muslim, sir. He's like, sir, I'm in love. He's in yesterday's family. It's like, sure. What do you do as a camera writer? It's like, okay, what's your age? I'm 23. It's like, what does your dad do? It's like, I work as an import-export, my dad. He's like, you're a thief. I was like, yeah. He's right. Like the stereotype and the bigotry was both ways. Like, it's in my house also. My nanny, she's a great nanny, questionable human being. Three things from me in life, okay? It's to eat on time, to sleep on time, and to not talk to Hindus. And I'm like, nanny, we live in Hindustan. This makes like a pre-partition decision. It's too late for this. But she really feels this way and she grew up super religious, you know. Genuinely, like when she was younger, her friends were having fun and writing love letters to boys and she was like ratting on them. She was like, Shakurtha, love letter is written. That too to this girl. Like, how do you know? She's like, left to right, like this. She looks about after life and she's like, Apna, time will come. I'm an atheist, okay? And I don't tell my nanny because I really, really love her, okay? And also, she's really, really rich. So if I play my cards right, Apna, P, time will come. Whenever she comes over, I overcompensate. I'm like, hmm, Malana, jeez. Too sexual for religion. My friend was crying in the house. My friend Shakurtha, my nanny was like, what happened? And I was like, you know, her boyfriend broke up with her. And she was like, I told you, all the Hindu girls see you. And I was like, he's Muslim. She's like, he doesn't believe anyone. She's good, she's very funny. Obviously, there was stuff in there that I'm sure a Hindu and Muslim audience would get more than we would. Absolutely. Especially if you live in that. Yeah, because you know, like the situations. I'm sure you've been in some of the situations that obviously we would not fully understand. But I feel like most of it, I understood. Yeah, it was quite funny. Were you a talkative Uber driver? I'd let that be determined by my passengers. If my passengers wanted quiet, I said nothing. I would let them engage first. I would always defer. Seven out of 10 Uber passengers wanted quiet. So I'd play the radio and I would, I would greet them when they got in and say goodbye when they left. And then if someone was talkative, I loved it because I'm talkative. But yeah, seven out of 10 Uber passengers just wanted to be left alone to their own. And I personally, it's interesting. When I'm a passenger, I don't like to chit chat with an Uber driver. I like to be left quiet in the back to my own things because I'm working and doing stuff. So it's interesting. No, I don't like to be talked to. That's just in general. That's very true. It is true. Well, especially though in an Uber car. Yeah, like obviously I'll come, like if they're conversation, I might usually be like, I need to shut up. No, I'll engage. Yeah. It's usually, it's usually very sweet. But I'm like, I mean, I usually prefer, I'm like, this guy was great. He didn't talk to me once. Yeah. He was phenomenal. And I enjoy conversation, especially if they ask questions like, what do you do? And then I get in the conversation, they're blown away by OSR and the connection to India. That's always great. But and what I don't understand about Uber, and I want to get back to her, I don't understand Uber drivers in India who get this option to decide whether or not they're going to take a ride. Yeah. I don't get that at all. That's not allowed here. That's not allowed here. Once you accept it. You're done. Unless of course there's some mitigating circumstance. And that's very rare. Like I remember being. Don't you get penalized if you like cancel? Yes. You and then if you get penalized enough, they'll freeze your account and you can't use your Uber for a couple of days. Obviously they're trying to prevent racism and people like they show up and. Correct. They're racist and the black man is standing there. 100%. But I've talked to people that do ride and it happens. It happens. Like they'll pull up and they'll see who it is and then they'll just drive away. Yes. But obviously you're saying they get penalized for that. You do. If you refuse, you have to put down why you refuse the ride. And then they'll ask you about it. And then if you do that too many times and that the customer complained, they'll freeze your Uber app and you won't be able to work. Good. Rightly so. Yeah. But I remember being 15 minutes away from home, supposed to be having dinner soon and I decided, oh, I'll just do one more. And I was really more of an accident. I was at the 405 by the Galleria. I clicked on it. You don't know where you're taking them until they get in the car. Uber does that on purpose here too. You have no idea where you're going till they get in the car. They got in the car and it said I was taking them east of downtown LA. Oh God. At 4.30. Oh God. So you were in the car for two hours? Yeah. And I wanted to be home by like five. And I knew I'm done. I won't be home until eight. And I was right. I wasn't home until eight because I had to go all the way to the east side of downtown to come back and rush our traffic. Probably payable. It paid very well. Yeah. But yeah, you can't do that here. Now, she is, she's got a bright future I think. Yeah. She reminded me of actually a stupid baby if you're watching. That was with us in Mumbai. I know who you are. Yeah. You know what I'm referring to? Yes. Oh, why am I blanking right now? Oh, it's breaking my heart that I'm blanking right now. She's with Shreds and I'll talk with us regularly. But anyways. Talk to you anyway. Talk to me on Twitter. But yeah, she reminded me of her in stature and look and in the way she talked as well. Well, and I like, I get the idea that she would be the kind of comedian who over time she gets even more comfortable with what she's writing and doing that she's not going to shy away from stuff that's She's already talking about controversial stuff. That needs to be talked about. Yeah. Yeah. That needs to be talked about. Very brave. Yeah, that's a difficult subject. Yeah. And especially to do like you're not just being disrespectful either of one or the other. Talking from a certain she did it, I thought very well. We need more female stand-up comedians. Yeah. Because there's a perspective about life in the world that only a woman can tell. We need more stand-ups. We need more female leaders. Yeah. You know how many female leaders in the world have COVID? Zero.