 Her tits to her shoulder so she could breastfeed her teenagers while they were standing behind her We're back We did it guys. We're fucking back episode number two eight. It's fully actual. What the fuck Man, we weren't actually fooled for a bit. It was fully was like we were half ass and meals Fuck me. So what the fuck? We've had a month off of the podcast and we are sleepy as hell today Yeah, we've been out fucking filming. It's not our regular podcast filming day just this week It will be back to normal times next week, but just this week We're fucking trying to get on top of shit and my god, bro It's been fucking crazy shit, man. We're starting public shit again Yeah, we've been filming some public experiments, but you're probably wondering what the fuck happened Well, you guys go for four weeks. We'll suddenly like that gone like that. What this shit gets draining everyone It gets fucking relentless. It's like you just you've sold your soul To entertainment and you can't get a break and then you've got family members who have health problems You go help them because family the end of the day is sort of comes Well, I think what it was it was second We were leading very unhealthy lifestyles is what it was as well to coincide with our we weren't getting much sleep We weren't getting much sleep. We're putting a lot of bad shit in our bodies. Yeah, we weren't working out We weren't exercising because we're cuz covert snapped us out of our routine of gymming because gyms were closed So we just stopped working outside eating shit started just fucking piling in the bloody caca and the drugs and oh my god We had a bloody fun time wasn't that true? But then back Depression depression anxiety, I can't you can't be funny when you're sad So we said, you know what we need a break a proper just fucking cuz there's breaks We take breaks, but really our phones are on us and we're fucking still reply to DMs. We're still Reply to comments. We're still checking emails. So it's not a proper break. Yeah, fuck Do you know nice it is getting rid of this thing So we needed to get your phone kids have a month off of Filming and just fucking social media and and we just needed to sort of ground ourselves Use that time to change our lifestyles a bit and so now we're fucking we're fucking healthy little beings aren't we are you getting there? We haven't we're drinking far far less No drugs. We're just gonna fucking we're just gonna bloody knuckle down and just try and be happy and funny and Just work and make the work sustainable enjoy what we used to do It wasn't getting fun anymore, and we want it to be fun again And yeah, and now we're fucking like we've cut back on all the bad shit now We're working our hard and salad today You know we're fucking eating salads all the time and shit and we're feeling fucking good Yeah, it's reflecting it work. It's like it's more fun already like we're motivated to get some funny shit done I'm trying to get the purple shit. Have you guys noticed that fucking the bags I get it's probably still fucked Like purple shit around my eyes and bags. They're slowly going very close veins Your eyes your eyes look more blue So yeah, if you're so so that explains why the break is we just needed We needed a dramatic change to our lifestyles and we've done that now and it's fucking we're feeling pretty good already And it's only been what fucking a week and a bit back. Yeah, isn't that right, mate? We saw Fallon today. Yeah, so I'm following we did a video with Jackson are doubting on the phone some fuck for the website So yeah, that would be out by now. No, it's out now already. It was out on Wednesday yesterday So fucking he pisses on us and shit like we were just trying to find out if he's real and yeah, he's He's yeah once he brings out the salmon So luckily you would have seen that we still have videos coming out it's because we had videos banked up So during our month off we still have videos coming out, but now when when we decided to start filming again We had no videos none. So now we have to fucking film hard and fast Grinding grinding grinding, but as we said, it's enjoyable again. I had fun today and I've had fun the last week It's been a great time that we haven't played golf the other day which turned into a fucking fucking fuck off pretty quick in that Yeah, we didn't really it we tried to we got too competitive and then we started cheating There'll be a video about that soon too, weren't there? But anyway enough about Matt Matt, what have you been doing? God, he looks so fucking dressed up today. He's got a belt long Shirt black shirt. He's got those those shoes on that those fucking bogans. Where are the casino? I've been I think my shoes Yeah, but um, no, I've just been Researching in some very corporate Areas you have been researching. I saw the on these days very research. Oh controversial. That's an excellent segue I want you to do me a favor. I want you to say milk pillow milk pillow Say it how you fucking normally say it. Don't be America How do I? Do I we heard James told us I can say it mate. Go on say it again. So use it in a sentence You are starting to piss me off. I have a milk pillow under my blanket. I have a milk pillow You fucking fucking idiot. It's an eye not an E. God. What are you Egyptian slash New Zealand? How did you guys know I fucked that up all the time? I just I just thought fucking hell he buried me. Why I Just thought it was funny and then we got mad Really, and we said we bring it to you this he was over the other night. We'll play He was dropping the blade and he's going back and he said hey Get Matt to say milk pillow. Yeah, what's it look like? Is this yeah? It looks good Yeah, the bottom wall. Um, yeah, I mean obviously just you can't with you in front of it But the the green screen for those watching the video version of the podcast the green screen will be back next week And this is the piece I did on my month off. I've gotten into art. That's what he spent his month doing So yeah, suck a delix. Oh, we're gonna become so beautiful now as well So you might notice no don't fucking talk it up. You might notice our bodies Transforming over the next few weeks. We wear the same shirts and that's because we are Don't we hey hang on What what's wrong with the way what why is it so bad that I say milk that way because you're not that milk It's not fair. Well, what else say six six pillow pillow. Yeah, that's all right And you know it actually just highlights that James Lee is quite a good friend. You two didn't really pick it up So I'm quite offended. I'm quite offended and I'm probably gonna go to the government about it I don't even hear. Okay. This is what you've written here is disgusting Matthew Brown Okay, you these on these days are disgusting. Do you hear me disgusting on this day in 2014 Justin Bieber boiled his testicles by standing over a pot of water and dipping them in when this water was scaldingly hot He had some slut over and couldn't find any condoms and read online that boiling your testicles kills the living sperms in there Making his next load sterile things didn't go quite to plan though when Justin sprayed He's now boiling hot man cream onto the girl's face giving her third-degree burns and blinding her in both eyes She felt pregnant anyway, but chose not to keep the baby because blind parents are fucking shit at looking after kids literally Wow, let's just let's just you're an asshole moment to let that sink in I Feel heavy feel heavy and knowing that on this day in 1994 Will Smith came home to see his wife being rage pumped by a close family friend Will stood in silence as his wife's body was being scrunched up and pounded in a hot sex dance Which ended in some incredibly fast thrusts Will's wife noticed him watching after and said it wasn't what it looked like and that they were just exercising and accidentally got entangled Will immediately forgave his wife and went on believing it was an accident for another 15 years until he became suspicious When he found her entangled with another man for the hundred and sixteenth time They're now spending some time apart. So will Smith can get on top of the housework without stumbling across his misses being filled by other men Well, there's a recent thing about that. Yeah, well that makes sense. So she must have been doing that for a while It's partly true. That's sorry Didn't he like what do you mean partly true Matt? He went on Oprah Winfrey. We left out some facts All right You left some of it out to keep to make sure that legally keep the law keep the lawyers away Because will Smith said he didn't want that part on there and for contrast spoke to will Smith for contrast I rang him had a chat. That's how deep his research connections go on this day in 1999 Cristiano Ronaldo was approached by a female fan. Hoping to get a photo with him after training She handed him her eight-week-old newborn baby who happened to be wearing a black and white spotted onesie Cristiano tossed the baby up out in front of himself before stepping forward and striking the baby cleanly and powerfully The baby slung into the top right corner of the gull spinning violently through the air the volley itself was incredibly impressive Unfortunately, the baby was killed instantly Cristiano admitted later that he assumed that the baby was actually a soccer ball Ronaldo was not charged because he's rich and shit Imagine kicking a baby. Well, yeah, well, I'm sure it's been done in history So definitely in Cambodia the killing fields. They'd get them I think we spoke about in this the previous podcast they get the babies to kill him in the genocide Smack their heads Smoked their heads into the tree and you can see when you go there all their teeth In the tree still well, they kind of been that young men if they got bloody teeth on them Yeah, I guess it's okay. Yeah, if they're fucking six seven eight nine Swing away probably bad, too, but it's not as bad when did you go to the killing fields last weekend? 23 probably be better being a newborn because you can't really remember shit anyway You know, I mean, you know, it's going on when you're a baby You'd want to be a baby over a toddler because a baby would be like if you're a toddler You can you know something's about to go down. Yeah You're aware, but it's and your baby skulls weaker shit So it's gonna snap and a small way easily are and then you're just gonna be I still remember Like how my early like first six months of life how fast it all went and then sort of coming to when I was three years old at Christmas Yeah, you don't really remember anything till I do your for I do yeah, my memories about all five maybe Anyway on this day in 2016 Mel Gibson used the fingernails of Jewish virgins to build a large boat He would lure the Jewish virgins into his home with sweets and breast milk and then catch their wrists from a trap He had rigged using the bowl where the sweets were from there He would remove their fingernails and release them He wanted to build a boat to prove that Jews can be useful for something But was incredibly embarrassed when the boats sunk immediately as fingernails don't float. Oh Wow, does he hate Jews? Yeah, he must do is it he's had a few instances like They were like caught on camera or caught in recording or something where he's um, he's been a bit Like rants about I mean, yeah, but right He's just gone on a few rants, that's all But yeah, I like Ricky Gervais in the way he the way he introduced him at the My mom's met Mel Gibson Did she have sex with him? Yeah, I'm actually he's actually my dad. It's Mel Gibson son I wonder you hate Jews so much and you always snicker about them when they walk past. That's your German eyes Germans Look at that Jew walking past shakes. He's had to start to start angry Yeah, I'm German and I don't hate Jews. That's how open-minded and loving I am Anyway, it's a next segment time and the segment has not been renamed It's just called Q&A oh Well, I know many questions because we forgot so we'll do the couple that we do have and then me and Martin We'll ask each other two questions and then starting next Tuesday When you see this you'll see this on a Monday Or a Tuesday since I'm doing where you are. Yeah, we'll have a story up So send us some questions that you want asked a fucking answer on our DMs. All right It's just we forgot today. We're filming and because it's not our usual podcast that we're a bit all over the bloody joint Hey, sorry, mate, huh? I just need to duck out for an emergency. No, no worries, man Yeah, I'll be back in a sec. No worries Matt Connor cut that we definitely won't be talking about you I can't believe him today, man. My eyes are closing. I can't believe him today. Can you believe that? Yeah, what do you do again? He's pissing us off about he was just like he's being all like There was something he did my memories fucked like comes in wearing like a suit. Oh Yeah, the formal wear. It's like man Really? Yeah trying to make us look shit and casual wear where the stars Matt It's really shaking me All right, this one's from country crunchy the labia probably crunchy labia Hi, this is a question for your podcast, please crunchy I like to listen to your podcast for fun and relax Marty has a cow ever attempted to revenge. Fuck you No, that's all just is they're dead normally or highly wounded. It's constant fear Like there's balls won't even charge at me, bro. You know like they fucking know like they've seen me around like it's hard It's getting hard because like they see me sense. They see me dogs, too They see me sprinting up the fucking roads a couple of K's away and then they start moving already So I have to like approach at night time. It's getting difficult, but I like the challenge. I love it It's getting like I really have to strategize and like pick my spots and and pick like the weak ones And it's just like it's becoming quite a mental exercise, and I'm really enjoying it It's like really fun having that extra challenge of them knowing who I am now Do you know what I mean when you fuck when you fuck a kid cow like a car? Do the parents come and defend it or ladies? It is a fucking everything Evacuates not just cows are animals leave as well. It's not something you want to be around so the parent won't defend their kid They'll let you fuck the kid. Look look a car. Look if a cow comes at me because I'm I've got its car It's it's too dead. So it's like there's no point It's like if I'm shooting your your kid You're not gonna come and say hey stop doing that because you should get shot as well No, you beat them. There's a chance. You can't with the kids. It's hard. It's it's it's I'm I'm not me when I'm there. It's like a a monster. Yeah, I can see that I've seen parts Yeah, you've seen you've seen glimpses That was the time when we abducted that dude in the boot. Mm-hmm exactly, right Exactly right, mate when we kidnapped that guy for money pissed in his mouth when we killed that fucking guy Episode 16 or 17. I believe podcast season one. It's in season one the story Fuck story, but we only gave we can only give and we answer the story because because I remember even when we told That story about delay. I think I admitted some then so you can link them together And remember we did it so you don't have to So it's fucking we're fucking heroes Also, the second part of that question is also due to you are Scientists if you put food in your bum, do you poo out of your mouth? I saw this once on a show and I have conflicted ideas about it Depends how much food you shut up your ass because some of it does get absorbed into the coal and walls I've seen it. I've been in a colon. Well, you can shelve pingers. Yeah, and they stay there when you do it for people That are above 18 you put your finger in there with the pill You don't have to go far and then you just hook it in and then it somehow it just works on and it's probably what 20 minutes It hits. Yeah, and it's like Yeah, it's your quits Bumps soak them up real fire. Hell yeah. Haha. No, yeah Later, I just realized that this Instagram name crunchy labia isn't a labia part of a woman's cookly clip And labia Labia without a Google it if Matt Brown was here He'd be able to Google it for us. Anyway, he's being corporate Whoa, there are two pairs of labia the lips of the outside of the vagina known as the labia majora see Crunchy labia that is fat Granola That's like menopause shit Next question. All right, this one's from TRC and if you want to go to his actual Instagram It's born dot to dot V dot metal, but Oh By the way, this podcast is Proudly sponsored by the University of Markle website our subscription website and the app will be ready soon We've hit hurdle after hurdle with this fucking app and the Apple store. It's has so many fucking Things that you need to tick off before you're allowed to post you publish your fucking app So it's coming and I know we keep saying oh, it's a better month But yeah, I honestly I don't know It's not far, but I can't give you a day man. I can't I can't do it Yeah, it's getting silly So if you want to support this podcast subscribe to our subscription website help us Yeah, we're gonna start replying to some comments on these on on the ear tip as well So if you have any questions you want to ask about Things we haven't covered or during the break or whatever just fucking fucking whack them down and bloody Matos fucking Matos Gregory fucking Brownskies will fucking have a gallant answer them for your brother Sorry Who was it? It was an emergency work call. Who was it for research? Um, I can't say his name Legally, he's a special assistant researcher Impressive and from this born dot to dot dot B dot metal How old were you both and what's the story behind the first time you've shown your rear gaping Lemon lips to a stranger. Love what you fucking dog. Can't legends do proud member of your site Legend, and I love the content keep it up Michael love you When yeah, it's a bit of a party trick now pulling our arse chicks apart High school to all of our chick friends. It's fine when you're under 18 You can show anyone your asshole. I used to do it to you a lot and like and blow kisses Yeah, that's how it started. I think the kiss blowing and then we just started doing it to friends cuz Ellen we'd I'd always show them my Always so shocked and disgusted. I think there were some questions that I fucking had follow through question But we did have that fucking story from a few weeks ago where I sexually assaulted a bouncer at a That was awkward go on let's fucking hear it then But I was trying to go into a bathroom with a bag of sugar to have sugar with my friend and he was behind me and Then when we got in there He wasn't behind me and I quickly got down at all fours pulled my pants down spread the asshole Expecting a friend to walk in behind him, but no a bouncer walks in first and he just fucking lot. He thought I'd killed someone Sorry From zero to 100 because he saw a bum hole Michael bum hole. It wasn't the security guard. It was the venue manager Fucking same thing because the security guy was quite nice to you guys about it. Oh, yeah So I didn't want to let him do was he actually laughed about it. Yeah, he laughed It is a shocking thing to see not many people's have not probably 99.9% Well, maybe like 99 98% of everyone in the world hasn't seen a stranger's asshole a Strangers asshole even a chick's asshole is fucking gross You fuck him you fuck him and dip your fingers in them A lot of the lot of boys now I love to just sling their tongues up asshole Yeah, we know if I am too old for that phase I can't do a room job would be too much. It'll smell like it. Like what the fuck you see you licking shit Oh, especially after a night out in the clubs getting a boogie, but yeah, it's the same as licking a toilet bowl It's shit sweat up there and fucking. Oh Grool and then if you jizz in it, they shit out top-deck shit I want quite a very good memory from the time you're getting kicked out The venue manager was going off at us and yelling at all of us like we'd all done it to him One of the best part is get us in strife. Yeah One of the best parts was Michael turned to the venue manager and goes. I was a I wasn't even half-spread I had this fucking last-minute thought I was like, what if it's not mono And then I turn Oh my god, I contact with both my eyes and then I contacted my third eye It was like, oh, I'm fucking out and then I straight up dude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It wasn't meant for you That'd be a better This whole that whole story be a perfect cartoon to make if someone could Yeah, we need to get back in those little animations Marty and my yeah, seeing an asshole is a very shocking thing I think even seen above but we should do a video just showing people our assholes dude I wish it was a website actually acceptable, but like cuz yeah with her every day It's like you get flashes of bumhole probably 30 times throughout the day and Spits of weird come on now progressive 30 second farts tightened Hey That's the sound but it goes twice as long and you've seen it in a previous You're welcome world my gift to you Oh, okay, it's progressed with the question anyway, so during the month off every now and then I Screenshot of some questions you guys were sending in Cuz I guess some people just didn't realize that the podcast wasn't going ahead But um, yeah, so we got a question here from Jason Jensen's J Jensen 1905 is his username on Instagram. I don't know. Maybe you want to like go check him out So he's asked he said this right Hello fellow fellows of the scientific commune. Yeah, I separate with shit to a cunt Anyway question for the podcast the old potty cunt, you know a I'm not making this up is what he's written My keen science eye has detected that you're medic maybe of the canine variety I've recently acquired a canine and also needed a new associate Who can keep their fucking gobshot unlike the last cunt less said about him the better But anyway, how do I get this dog to patch me up and drive stick? It's also it's all about training medics and dogs and all that's all about little little bits a little bit at a time You're a great fucking dog trainer, but we can be honest with him a few eyes oh It's thick air. It's steam Toilet It's too hard to hate I love it like never ever stop that. It's one of your best tricks Yeah, I know that could fix fucking poverty that could fix terrorism It has fixed poverty that probably stopped like covered in half of this state. I don't want this tea anymore I Jason Jensen it's just little little bits of time Little train them to put doing want to teach him to drive a manual car You say first teach him put his poor on the on the fucking gear stick Then once he knows how to do that you teach him poor and then you teach him how to push it up into gear So boom boom and then you teach him put his other poor on start steering the wheel and then someone and so forth So little incremental little steps. It's how you do it And then a few huge Cunts not listening you're fucking open palm slam And you learn quick, but only when they're young because you don't want them to remember it Where's a prank? I think he does remember it because he is so well disciplined. Yeah, he does not No, man, sometimes he tests it Yeah, you gotta call him like three times sometimes Yeah, because he knows now that because he yeah, he never gets really disciplined anymore So he gets lazy with listening and then every now and then I have to yell at him And then he listens again for a few weeks and then slowly tapers off into not listening again Bosley next question is from Charlie Harris and yeah, his username is Charlie Harris 24910 okay, and He has asked Stephen Hawking's is now a series of computers. Does that mean when I'm watching porn? I'm watching him or am I showing him the porn PS I was going to send a dildo that I paid a friend to use while on her period and then realize had disgusting odds Yeah, please no do that Keep safe guys. Anyway. How's Matt's weekend? He is both that he's both the computer. He knows what you're watching, but he is Well, he's watching him. He's delivering it. He's so if you type in he's like the mailman Postman part in virtual world. You type in porn Stephen Hawking's is the one who gives you the porn. He's he hands it to the screen He's got all these hands and he transfers So if you open your computer quick enough, you're gonna see glimpses of his little fucking fucked up little claw Putting the porn on the screen Little sounds in his little fucking chair that he's in he's still a bit fucking mangled and shit No, he's fucking gigabytes and shit He's fucking like code fucking hanging off his fucking face Gigabytes over here can't he's fucking putting the porn with a megabyte pixels and shit He's fucking all over the shop His heart's a motherboard Yeah, no, he's he's still kicking in the virtual world and yeah He is porn and he watches your porn and he provides it. He's postman pat post can be cut And Matt, how was your weekend? Yeah, it was good. I saw you guys We've invented a sports called Tucker and we will know I can't wait to play it again We could fucking somehow set up a competition should be the new UFC It should be Olympics. Hey, um, also before we continue the questions Look, we've got some PO box shit. You guys been send some shit. We're just gonna open one at a time There's a couple others unless we unless we start getting heaps of shit Then we'll open a few but look look at these big package and I just knows it says a glass on there. Look at that He's got glass in it, so who knows what's in there could be a do that Could be a pipe Next question is from Pute PwT STO D ASCH Muts MWTS and his name is Matty and he has asked Love the podcast and the website just want to say everyone fucking sign up you fucks here Look at all these testimonials from happy website people. It's too fucking brand new videos a week The app the app's gonna make it better app is gonna you'll be able to comment you can fucking It's just gonna be necklale brother. Huh necklale. Anyway, Matty has said any a question for your podcast What do your guys as girlfriends think of the podcast and do you think they'll ever have them on as guests? Seeing your chemistry with your bitter house would make for the best content Yeah, look at something we give yeah, we're open to I think I want to be a little bit mine used to but I think She does this so many fucking vids now. It's like I wouldn't want to watch her do her job every fucking day Yeah, they get a bit over like it's just so much shit for them to watch. It's like, oh, yeah another Shit like a fucking live fucking normally anyway, but yeah, some of their shit in the pot like the me just likes showing the squirty Yeah Make sure you do that around mine No, not to that extent Kind of please blur my anus as well Is that German no, that's just hey say anus say anus sounds worse actually, but yeah Fucking I'm not I'm not against having a morning here and yeah, and yeah, they what do they think they like it I guess that because well, they need a fucked up sense of humor to be dating us So I guess they like it but yeah, it's like sometimes it's like oh you got tattoos on your feet It'll be fun to explain to the family But if you want it crunch comes to shove or shove comes to crunch We are fucking so cool. We are gods So like they're lucky. Oh Look, he said another he's got another question here Hey guys, just wanted to say loving the podcast loving the website Loving all of the videos that you guys put out. Hope you guys staying safe mentally and physically Anyways question for the podcast for when it comes back Marty How come you never do the weird gagging sands when you're doing prankles that shit is a lair is it gets me every time Like we're getting noises Some of that today Oh Three legitimately gagged then Um, I don't know. I guess I can do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it We got some good videos coming. I'll do it next segment. Oh Has been renamed To I don't even know how to say this man. He's got his teleprompter and it's just a bunch of letters and words and a number Seven All right, this segment is a podcast where you just open the fucking shit you dog send us live on the podcast You have a parcel from It doesn't say it's always a bit scary when it doesn't say is it Fucking anything one day could fucking be anything one day. We're gonna get like some fucking Bad things and do you think that'll happen you've had some bad saying that don't put it out there because then some fucking dog It's fine that dude. I'd love to see your bloody dildo. That'd be funny. Everyone someone said a period thing once That's probably I smelt that that's probably that was my nostrils. That was worse than shit Yeah, careful. It's got glass dude. Be careful. I don't care It's fireworks People listening on Spotify would have been like Fuck Let's see where it is I'm still opening it. There's like a bit of cardboard fucking thing and there's bubble wrap everywhere. It's not fireworks Imagine if it was a car like a new car or a bronco One of the Brisbane Broncos a baby Bronco a signed photo of Darren Lockyer. It was Michael Fallon Michael Fallon used to play for the baby Broncos everyone Go and message him on Instagram and say oh my god. Did you really play for the baby Broncos? Fuck me. They make things hard. Oh my god Whoa It's beautiful. I'm super excited turn around in a second here man. I believe this. This is Unbelievable. This is this is him in his prime state. Whoa So we've been sent a framed Picture of Stephen Hawking when he's what maybe even Hawking's when he's maybe Stephen Hawking They fucked up this valley. All right. We're gonna have to find somewhere on the table We'll find a nico and add an s to the ends. Holy shit. Unbelievable. That's that's well. Thank you This goes somewhere in the like here. Would you be able to make that work? It's fucking beautiful, mate Oh Fuck do they have the best bats to that they didn't send a letter or anything. They want us to like shout out something I Thought Steve could go on the new podcast hour from the lovely young chap you met at JB hi fire itchy Oh, dude, you fucking nice guy. Yeah, that that kid was a fucking ledge Good on that. Just sit like that or do you want the big candle in front of the thing? Thank you very much for that. That is fucking beautiful. Absolutely beautiful That's honestly that and the drugs that's second to the drugs we've been sent Just make sure you don't knock the table too much I have to It's good testing. That's what we do with scientists. So that shit. That was the P. I'm unboxing this We were some other cool packages and we'll fucking should do one more. I'm excited fuck it. We'll do one more Remember guys if you want to Explosions at the end there Remember guys if you want to send Fucking incredible meaningful shit like that. That's like a shrine P. O box two five six taken four zero one eight Queensland, Australia You want to fucking send us to this beautiful table? That's the second best thing we've been sent If you got a business you want to send us some shit fucking feel free will bloody open alive on the podcast Oh shit, I haven't even look we're opening another one Opening another one right now and this is from I don't know it's from France It better not be bloody right in Paris and we've had some run into those boat Paris man's This stands for Matthew What are we got here? Let's read this dear Marty and Michael here is a little present for you guys I made it in honor of Matthew Brown from research Our best researcher in the world. You are really funny cunts Especially Michael when he says DVDs and Marty when he acts like he has downstone drum and shits on Michael Keep being silly baboons. Cheers from France. Simone PS. I'm an aunt eater. Holy fuck He's an aunt eater. Wow this stands for Matthew Brown's perseverance as a researcher and he's drawn like a symbol this is a symbol and it looks like a Triangular would you get that tattoo direct dick? Yeah, all right, and that's actually right that'd be cool But the best part of it is it's enough. It's a framed image. Oh What does it say man? Three it says three it's got the number three on it in its hand drawn and colored in a thank you so much Simon from France you're fucking good. Good boy. That is so good. Oh good boy. Oh opening presents like shit Christmas Ah Beautifully his handwriting is yeah, it's very oh, yeah, those French know how to very friend right everything they do is it's all like 1800s. Hmm. Is that what it is there in his fully drawn like a revolution image for you Matt? I know that's gonna get tattooed celebrity and carry calm. That's your logo It's Matt Brown's logo and we'll just sit that there like that you guys can see that now All right, so the next segment has been renamed to And there's a segment where we Do a stunt a crazy crazy stunt and this week Michael is going to pour boiling water on his fingers I reckon we try and snap the time machine over my head That's thick. Yeah, it's very thick. Maybe a touch too thick. Hmm. It's made of steel and reinforced diamonds joking, I Just I came up with that then no no no no like that So we have this time machine here it looks a lot like a remote, but it's a time machine So we've used it in video. So don't don't say that's fake shit because it's fucking true cunt And Michael wants to snap this over his head because we can build one of these like Couple hours on a Sunday on a Sunday morning or Sunday morning or maybe even like a Sunday afternoon Have lunch or something so Michael's going to attempt to break this on his head and I am going to She kind of finger off. Yeah I'll cut my pinky off if you can break it We've got a pair of scissors to be able to do that with those scissors No of these probably no way. They'll be way too blind. What would happen if you went full fucking ringworm on it It's just take like it takes half an hour to cut through it. Just cash. It's crushers. Just crushers. Yeah Oh, dude, did I tell you this story one time when we were at your mama's place on a kick-ons? There was this blunt knife and I was sitting there trying to get a chance. Yeah, I remember that I remember that and It was blunt so I went as hard as I could oh It went in and then it started pissing blood and it freaked me out. I was like, but it didn't go deep Fuck that anyway Good day. All right Here we go. Michael is removing his headphones. I'm going to go in between time here You've only got one chance. Just watch so We don't exactly know what's gonna happen here because it is a fully functional Fully fully functional time machine we could end up in a different era Matt, so get ready. Maybe message of mother Cuz we might might not be me Julie. Oh, seriously. This is uncharted territory I've never broken a time machine before I've only ever made them anyway. Good luck mate He's done it. He's done it check outside Check outside. Are we still he's gonna watch it's okay. We're still on the same time. Holy fuck. He's did it Michael's just smashed the time machine on his fucking head and one go brother. Oh fuck me Look at that fucking bendy brother Fucking bendy count. Look at all the coding that we did in there. Look at that That's the motherboard. What was the pain level even in there out of 10? That was like, I don't know. It's nothing really. Okay, so zero. Oh Oh And now he has completely snapped the mother board is the part you can't break because I don't even know what would happen If this took like if you fucked him there, he'd fuck you in the future somehow See how we made the if you're listening on Spotify We're holding up the motherboard here of our time machine and you can sort of see like where we've made the connections And why we've made them there and yeah, this equals time travel so Crazy how he fucking figure that shit out man. I still ain't get it Vegan all right the next segment has been renamed to And this is a segment where we just do a prank call and Just prank call people you guys send your prank calls in if you got someone who wants to prank call Fucking call them up and fucking fuck with them He was recently caught sleeping with both his eyes at the same time. I didn't get that they both Have kids to him and worked out. They were fucking him at the same time They're now friends and trying to piss him off. I Was thinking you should call him and stir him up because both of his exes are sleeping around now Maybe pretend to be a bloke sleeping with one of them with one their names are Molly and Kayla To make shit worse. He also lost his job on the mines recently for taking explosives home to play with Hello, guys is this is this Ari? Yeah, mate Yeah, mate look my name is Gary mate and look I've I've just found some fucking shit news and it's shit news for you too, mate like but So basically are you still are you still with Molly? No, mate, how long have you guys been split up for? Right and what about because you know Kayla to a yeah, are you still with Kayla? Right Look a mate. I've been fucking well. It's not so bad now for you, right but Mate, I've been bloody. I've been with Molly for about Coming up to bloody year and a half now, mate Well, I've been with her and I like seriously only on the weekend just now I found out right that she actually was Fucking with you at the same fucking time Well, I was fucking her and like like fully like I fully like love during that man Well, I was like ready to fucking like get down on one knee shit man And like it's just fucking fuck my fuck my mind right up man like so fucking I thought I got your fucking number Right, and I thought you know be a good kind fucking call fucking call you out and let you know like Fuck me like I'm shaking man. Like I'm fucking you shaking right now What do you mean? No, it seems like it's Stitching me up or something. What are you? Gary I'm mate. I've never fucking met you in my life. I've got I've gotten your number off of Molly's phone Yeah, I know hey well fucking not a bloody not bloody some of the data some some times, right? She'd fucking come over in the middle of the day and fucking and she Hey Yeah, so fucking she'd come around during the day and we'd fucking cuz cuz I got I got night shift, right? I'm fucking I'm doing bloody labor work for the bloody council and we're fucking fixing all the raising shit So we only work fucking nighttime. So she fucking come around fucking like 2 3 p.m. And fucking come over and like my it was like fucking it was pretty cozy for a bit But man it got fucking like, you know, it got pretty fucking serious pretty fucking serious tool And yeah, like I've just fucking I'll find out right like and I've had to just fucking You know fucking I'm out of there like I was fucking done man. I was like fucking I got a and because I was trying to find out I'm pretty sure right. She's fucking doing some other bloke to doing something. No, no, yeah, you know, she's fucking I don't know how long go you with it No, she was yeah doing a bit of that on me like you know fucking soon as we split up She was taking other blokes home and stuff pregnant Jesus, yeah, well fucking now. That's fucked. Well, have you fucking checked that the kids are yours? Yeah, no, there's no denying it. Like the kids are Come out split me into this brother Fuck me mate, that's it's just fucking rock me. It's just rock me to the core, you know and fucking Anyway, I just wanted a bloody corner, you know, then um, yeah Well, I didn't know what you knew and that and knows just like fucking fucking, you know I do the right thing and fucking give you give you cool. I'm fucking just fun. See how fun See, I just fucking see when you See how you fucking what? What you what you done what you knew about it, you know, so it's all I didn't know much at all No, no, it's all in the past for me like you know, I got fucked over pretty bad by both Yeah, that's bloody. Yeah, just fucking let's just bloody hope we can fucking move on and find bloody good one of the bunch Hey, fuck me. Yeah, no, that's what I'm doing down here. Anyway, just coming down play step dad. So yeah Yeah, all right, mate. We'll fucking out. I'm bloody. I'm glad it fucking went down All right, because I went off and out. I was fucking rage. I was like foaming other fucking teeth What would you say your name was again Gary Gary who Gary Thompson Gary Thompson? Yeah, right? No, no You obviously you can understand my suspicion because it's like it seems like you know Yeah, and my you're fucking you're like you're exactly right like your your suspicions like you're 100% fucking You're true. It's true. Like we this is a stitch up. This is a fucking this isn't real like I'm fucking Yeah, like your mates fucking sent send in a little story down Instagram and said oh here call my mate stitch him up and And then and this this is this is my real voice. I'm not I don't even talk like that. So yeah, this is a 100% a prank call from Marty and Michael the fully actual podcast But uh fucking hell she sounds like a piece of work, right? Yeah Well, yeah, that was all a all a joke so she wasn't she Marty and Marty and Michael. No, no, it's um, no, yeah, we just we we just do fucking social media and we just had someone send in this and Yeah, it's Kyle. So um, yeah, sorry to um Call you Thanks for taking it like a champ and good luck with everything mate. I love you That was all quick I hate the guy you became I was fucking awkward as I love the bit where you just kept going give me I was tempted to just fucking hang up because he knew straight away, but then he then he did believe me Yeah, you brought him back round downtown. I got him didn't know We need a bit of we need a bit of bloody work to get back to our level fucking month off We're a bit like I enjoyed that the character was so fucked. It's too cringy I don't think people are gonna listen to my phone and we are the