 He made me so happy and now he's pulling away. Why do men and women go from hot to cold? We're gonna explore this quite a bit today. So let's just jump right in. Now, this might seem like an interesting question or obvious, why do people fall in love and get divorced? I mean, think about it. Why do people fall in love and then get divorced? Obviously, if you're in love, you got engaged, you got married, you were hot and heavy for one another at this point in time. And yet something radically changed, okay? And then what about those people that are hot and cold for a few, excuse me, hot and heavy for a few weeks and then poof, they're gone. And why does someone go from hot to cold? Well, we're gonna examine this in a more granular sense today. Now, really quickly, last night I was watching the movie Hitch. If you haven't seen it, it's on one of the streaming channels. It's with Will Smith and Eva Mendes. And he's basically a dating coach called The Dating Doctor and he falls in love with Eva Mendes. You know what's fascinating? He falls in love with her in three dates. By the third date, he said, I love you to her. In fact, one of his clients also had three dates with someone he fell in love, she fell in love and then they got married, okay? Now, I know this is a radically extreme example, but isn't it fascinating how we've adopted a belief that chemistry equals relationship success because all that they have going for, all any couple has going for them in the first three or four dates or probably the first 10 dates is either lust or limerence, lust or limerence. And I'm incorporating this in the chemistry conversation because when you're feeling this desire to be physically intimate with someone, if you put someone up on a pedestal like the character Hitch's client, he was infatuated with this debutante, this wealthy woman. And he says, I want to meet her. And I want you to help me make this happen. So he put that woman up on a pedestal. You know, what's interesting is we have no idea what would happen to this relationship under current circumstances. What I mean dealing with all the emotional effects we deal with today, it's rather blind in the romantic comedy sense. You see, it's our unconscious mating practice, particularly as I said earlier, expecting chemistry to hold the relationship together. And yet at this moment, I'm reminded of my son for just a second. He was in a relationship a couple of years ago with a woman they dated for roughly five to six months. Now, he didn't come on hot and heavy. So let me just say this, it wasn't, but in the beginning they liked each other. You know, he made her happy and all of a sudden he pulled away. Now I want to rewind for a second in this conversation because in the case of my son, he came to me three months into the relationship and he said, dad, I'm just not feeling it. I'm just not feeling what I think I should be feeling at this point. And so I said, you know, son, give it a little bit of chance. I mean, oh my gosh, she was attractive. She had a great job. She was getting her master's degree. She came from a good family. I mean like checked a lot of boxes and yet a few months after that, he ended the relationship. Now in the beginning, she probably felt, oh my God. I mean, let me rewind. When this happened, when he pulled away, when he ended, how could he go from being, you know, this going from a good relationship to going cold? You see, the challenge is in some cases, love is an intangible. Love is an absolute intangible. It is so hard to put our finger on what makes us actually fall in love from a healthy perspective. I said healthy perspective. You see, the vast majority of people like those people that got married I talked about, those people that were hot and heavy, they probably got attached to a relationship from an unhealthy perspective, possibly from what's known as love attachment style. And if you're not familiar with the book, it's attached by Mir Levine and Rachel Heller. By the way, all the books I recommend are listed below or the book, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. Why am I talking about these books? It's because oftentimes we choose people like, okay, in the book, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt gets, again, it's listed below. They talk about something known as the Amago, the Amago. Now, the reason why I want you to learn about this is we oftentimes choose partners from an unhealthy perspective, trying to heal a childhood wound that happened with one or both of our parents. So if you've ever dated someone that's just like your dad or you dated someone that's just like your mom, I am very, for lack of a better word, guilty of this. On an emotional level, I don't mean a physical level, but certainly on emotional level or the way they operate in the world. See, oftentimes we choose the wrong person. We get hot and heavy for someone because they're the wrong person for us. And let me reframe that. That's not really fair to say wrong. What I mean to say is our subconscious is actually looking to heal a wound. So it chooses someone that we can actually work on our stuff, okay? Believe it or not, folks, most human beings are riddled with childhood wounds and adult traumas that cause us to make poor relationship choices. Now, many of you think of childhood wounds or childhood traumas as something substantial like physical or emotional abuse, like radical physical and emotional abuse. Do you know garden variety wounds happen in a multitude of ways that don't have to necessarily just be your parents? I was bullied in school. I was made fun of in grade school. I wasn't picked to play games. Do you imagine this relatively benign experience had consequences for me as an adult that had ripple effects for me as an adult that still to this day, you know, take up real estate for me. So in many cases, you might have experienced something small, you might have experienced something small, and yet this will have deep ramifications for you as an adult, okay? So let's examine why a man would make you so happy in them pull away. Well, first, you have to examine this person's life and their totality. See, for those of us in midlife, and I always say midlife is after baby making years or before retirement. So my demographic is traditionally between the age of 42 and 69 for the most part, okay? A significant percentage of us, roughly about 75% of us in the dating marketplace are divorced. And if you've watched my videos, I talk about this divorce as the unraveling of the tapestry of a life you once had with someone else and trying to reintegrate into your own sovereignty. This is why I'm such a big proponent before you get into the dating marketplace as you do some personal development, self-help, spiritual work, even therapy, prior to putting yourself out in the dating marketplace. And I even wrote a book about it called What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? As I said, a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work, there's a link below to get a copy of my book. Yes, I mean, always pitch my book during my videos, okay? Why I'm bringing this up is, if you've gone through a divorce, oftentimes we repeat patterns by choosing the wrong person. Do you realize second and third marriages have roughly a 65 to 75% divorce rate? You know, isn't it fascinating? You think you'd learn the first go around? No, people the second time fail, I mean, ended at higher rate and a third time they ended at a much higher rate. You would think we would learn as we get older and yet sadly that doesn't seem to happen. Okay, so let's examine this a little bit further. Why does someone pull away? Well, if they're going through a contentious divorce, that's gonna make it very problematic to build the deep roots of trust in the early stages of a relationship with another human being. And let me just say this trust is paramount. Trust is paramount. In fact, I was just writing a quote for myself. I just wanna share this with you. It'll just take me a second to find it. And the quote is romantic love is a two way street or two lane street built on trust. It's basically saying I want to do the best for my partner while maintaining my sovereignty. I wanna do the best for my partner while maintaining my sovereignty. See, if you are wounded in such a way that you are unable to actually create trust with another person, or let's take men for example, if they were wounded after their divorce and they're still reliving the pain of this, it's gonna be very problematic to lean into a healthy, happy relationship going forward. Or what if they're going through a professional crisis? What if they're going through physical crisis? You know, what if they have a contentious ex? All of this might, you know, in the early stages, men and women want companionship, they want connection, they want physical intimacy, but their capacity to actually lean into it is absolutely predicated on how healed they are from their past relationships. And whether you're a man or woman, showing up with walls, it's fascinating. A person will show up with walls in the early stage of dating, but they'll come on strong. You know, we men love bomb, we get infatuation, we were driven by lust. You know, ladies have been indoctrinated in the idea that men love the chase, men are hunters, men are hunters. We hunt after our prey. Do you think men are hunting? I wanna be in a relationship, I wanna be in a relationship, I'm hunting for a relationship. Oh, we hunt sex, we chase sex. Let's just call it for what the fuck it is. It's chasing sex. I mean, when a man comes on really strong, what, by the way, even Will Smith, in the movie Hitch, as I shared earlier, he was infatuated with someone he barely knew. Now, obviously he wasn't chasing sex, but he was physically attracted to her. He was sexually attracted to her. Let's not be naive here. So if someone shows up with walls up, they've got wounds, they've got traumas that have gone partially unhealed, it's gonna make it very problematic. This is why they go from hot to cold, hot to cold, hot to cold. Now, I was watching Esther Perrell the other day. If you're not familiar with her work, she wrote the book, Mating Incaptivity. Mating Incaptivity, I recommend you check this out. She was on Lewis Howe's podcast talking about how relationships are a container for healing. There is absolute truth that in a relationship with another human being, we can actually heal a lot of our stuff. But what oftentimes happens is because a person has gone in with too many wounds and traumas, they get a partial healing in this new relationship. They get a partial healing, but they still end the relationship because if they're aware, they recognize that they might not be a good partner to the other person. This happens oftentimes on a subconscious level. You see, a lot of you ladies will choose a man based on hope. Oh my God. Okay, folks, I was an absolute train wreck after my divorce. I was an emotional, I was both in my physical world and my emotional world. I was a train wreck. And you ladies have this beautiful capacity to see the potential, to see the potential of another human being. And I'm gonna share with you a little story. Hold on one second. I need to grab this, okay? I wanna share the story of a woman I dated. Shortly, it was nine months after my now ex-wife and I filed for divorce. And on our second date, she said, Jonathan, I have to date you with rose-colored glasses. And I go, why is that? She goes, you're a mess, Jonathan. You're going through a divorce. You were going through professional up evil. You had contentious relationship with your ex. You're a mess. She goes, but I like you a lot, but I have to wear rose-colored glasses. Well, what's interesting is we began dating two months before Christmas and as a Christmas gift. I still have this. After 19 years, she gave me this box picture frame of rose-colored glasses. You see, she was aware I had a lot of red flags. But at the same time, she was willing to overcome them or overlook them, excuse me, because she saw the good in me. And sure enough, three months into the relationship, I ended it. And she was briefly saddened, but I think she went in with full consciousness. She didn't take red flags and paint them green. She was absolutely aware of my dysfunction. And to this day, we still remain social friends, at least on social media and such like that. She subsequently got married shortly after, she met someone shortly after our relationship ending. And I think they've been married for well over 10 years or more now. So my point is, she had the awareness to see, most of you see the potential, you see the potential instead of the deep challenge that this man most likely will go from hot to cold, hot to cold, because he hasn't really truly done any healing within himself. So, what's the antidote to all of this? What is the antidote to choosing the right person? By the way, can you see this link right here? It says jonathanasley.com forward slash coaching. Also, there's a link in the description below. My whole coaching program is centered around discernment, asking the critically important questions because conscious dating isn't just about chemistry. It's chemistry and vetting, vetting through radical honesty, laying your cards on the table and more importantly, the rules of engagement. What is radical honesty? It's being vulnerable and authentic and transparent, transparent in the sense of if it's material to the relationship, then you should be upfront with a person about it. And you have to hope both people are being radically honest with one another, laying your cards on the table. Hey, folks, that's talking about your past relationships. By the way, I know many dating coaches will tell you, don't talk about your past relationships. The past is the past. That is bullshit. That is bullshit. Let me tell you something. Our past gives us insight into how someone learned. It's like saying, if you went to school, okay, if you went to school and got Ds and Fs and all, okay, so you know someone went to school to Harvard, okay? And you're like, wow, they went to Harvard. They must be just so brilliant. But what if they got Ds and Fs in all their classes? They got Ds and Fs in all their classes. Now they could come up with some excuse why they didn't graduate from Harvard. Oh, I took a job somewhere or something else. But if they got Ds and Fs, what did they really gain from that experience? Our past relationships give us some insight into how someone will operate in the future. Please recognize this is the most critical question to ask someone in the early stage of dating. Also, let me throw in another question you must be asking now. This wasn't part of my speech or my presentation. Are you currently dating anyone else? Are you currently talking to anyone else? Are you currently dating? Let me tell you why. I had a client, she didn't ask this question on the first date. She didn't ask the question on the third date. She asked the question on the third or fourth date. Okay, let me explain why this was so critical in Florida. They began kissing in every date. Okay, she was beginning to get attached to him. And when she asked the question, are you dating other people? And he was very authentic and upfront. He said, I'm dating two other people besides you. You know, all of a sudden she thought to myself, oh, she's kissing three total women. He's taking three women out. And then she got into this competitive mode. What am I gonna do to make him choose me? Because she really liked him and she started to not be who she was. Because she's like me, I prefer dating one person at a time. I know that goes against a lot of the rhetoric out there. But it's kind of like, have you watched The Bachelor? I'm watching the latest season of The Bachelor, Joey. And I think it's Maria. She can't handle that he's kissing and making out and dating so many other people. And by the way, and then all of a sudden she's put in this position of having to be in competition with other women. By the way, whether you're a man or woman, this is a really shitty place to be. So I think it's critically, oh, let me give you another example. I had a female friend who began dating a man and then she got acquainted with a man she's known for years and now she was dating two men at the same time. And before she was physically intimate with the second person, she was physically intimate with the first person, but the second person, she had much greater chemistry, much greater attraction. And he had to tell this, the first man, I met someone else and he was devastated. He was devastated. Folks, it's kind of disingenuous when we're putting effort into a person, but we're doing it for multiple people. No wonder someone can make you happy for a moment and pull away. These are just some of the small little dynamics we're dealing with and we could list more and more and more reasons why someone might go from hot to cold why they might make you a happy one moment and pull away the next moment. And the best approach I'm inviting you all to take is conscious discernment, conscious discernment. Again, that's what I teach in my private coaching. How to ask the more important questions based on your personality to determine are they really a good fit for me? Are they worthy of giving my time, my attention and most importantly, my heart? Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on all this. Also, if you found value in this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well. And also, if you wanna connect with me in the first comment and also the description below, schedule a discovery call with me, join my group called Midlife Love Mastery, get the books I recommend, follow me on Instagram or get my dating vows all listed below. All right, it's time for Q&A. For those that know my format, know if you have a question, write the word question and post the question there after. Or you can purchase a super sticker, super chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. If you're watching the replay, you can hit the super thanks. All the monies from the super sticker, super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. That's my all-time favorite picture of him. He's my son who passed away over five years ago in his honor. We donate to causes like the Hoffman process, Insight Institute and scholarships on coaching as well. So again, hit that little dollar sign and you can post your question. Or if you have a question, write the word question and then post the question there after. And if anyone wants to be brave enough to join the hot seat, I just posted the link right there to join the hot seat as well. Okay, as we're waiting for questions, I wanna share something very personal with you all. So I follow several of my contemporaries who are males who give advice to women out in the dating room. You probably know three of the more popular ones. And what's interesting to me, two of them got married right around mid 30s for them and they began making babies. And one of them recently got married, but he's in his late 30s and he's probably chose a partner he can go make babies with. And what I mean to say is make babies and raise a family. So I was thinking of some of those other two contemporaries that have children. Children is their primary focus in their marriage with their partners because raising children probably consumes 80, 90% of your time, most likely in a relationship. But I thought to myself, what would happen to these guys if both their wives passed away? Now, I am not wishing that on them. But why I'm bringing this up is these men are now in their fifties, you know, dealing with being a widower, dealing with now being alone, putting themselves back out in the dating marketplace. How would they operate differently? You see their advice doesn't contemplate some of the granular things we talk about. Here on my channel, we talk about widowers and the emotional effects that has on not just the widower, widower, okay? But on the children as well and how that can have ripple effects in the dating marketplace. What about the emotional effects of losing a spouse or going through a divorce? How that affects us in other areas of our lives? The emotional effects also with those going through, maybe in this case, I was, by the way, since I wasn't wishing them divorce or even a loss, I was just contemplating this. You know, divorce has so many radical emotional consequences that we're trying to fit square pegs and round holes in the dating marketplace. And God forbid your children, what about their emotional effects of losing their mom or losing their dad or just going through a divorce? How that has ripple effects and how that affects that person going through dating. So most of us in midlife, if you're in that group and my roughly 60, 70% of people watching me are over 40 years old, we understand the emotional effects of what it's like to be single today in the dating marketplace. And it's radically challenging. So it's just an observation I have because look, I'm in the same boat as you. Look, got married, got divorced. I've had two significant relationships in that 15 plus year period of time. And even then the relationships didn't work, not because of a lack of trying on both parts. It's just sometimes, just like when I shared with my son before, sometimes, you know, love is such an intangible. Love is such an intangible. And yet oftentimes we approach relationships from an unhealthy perspective believing it's love and it's no wonder there is a clash going on between men and women bonding with one another. And gosh, also the other biggest challenge is meeting people. Do you realize in the between the 1960s and 1990s, probably the majority of people that met who were over 25 years old in the dating marketplace met at their place of employment, met their place of employment. Well, that radically changed in the 90s because of sexual harassment and everything. And so we are in a, and now we are in a swipe environment where the value of a person is just simply a swipe. Simply a swipe, that's the value of a person. And we're overstimulated. And so for my contemporaries that didn't have to deal with this in the same venue as us, it is radically challenging. It is radically challenging. And so I oftentimes refer to it as the hunger games. It's the hunger games. You know, it's the fight to the death. It's the death of our dreams and our hopes. And so the work I am offering everyone is to put the odds forever in your favor, to put the odds in your favor through personal development, self-help, spiritual work therapy, through conscious dating, through intentional dating, by being more discerning, by vetting, because through that, you can put the odds forever in your favor. All right, let's see what kind of questions we have up. Oh, really quickly, I wanna give Roller Girls some props for the $2 for the Conor Asley Fund and also Margaret. Hey, our goal today is $50. So we're already $10 on our way there. We have another $40 to go for today, okay? Okay. SV, is it a red flag if he's near 50 years old and never married, no kids? Okay, well, let's reverse this. Is it a red flag that he's divorced and has kids? Is that a red flag? I mean, so what is the fear? Or what's the red flag, okay? He can't make a commitment. And because he's never married, he has no children. So let's look at this 50-year-old. We're in 2024, that means he was born in 1974, okay? What if he was a byproduct of divorced parents? Could you imagine the emotional effects on someone who had to deal with a contentious observation of what relationships look like if his parents got divorced? So that could make a person very fearful to attach to someone, okay? Could make someone very fearful to get attached to someone. Okay, maybe he had a couple relationships during that period of, maybe he had a decent, maybe his parents were good parents. They never got divorced. But what if his first girlfriend broke his heart? In the movie Hitch, as I was talking about earlier, his first college girlfriend broke his heart and he turned into the quintessential player thereafter. That could be a reason. Maybe his second relationship broke his heart, okay? Now let's talk about the divorced guy with children. But what does that say? He made a commitment once. Do you realize people, after they've gone through a divorce, are hyper-vigilant in the sense of, well, no, they're not hyper-vigilant. There's a significant percentage of people that will never get married again after they've gone through a divorce. They've went through the ringer so much. I actually, right after my divorce, I said I would never get married again. I changed my tune about that, by the way. But I went through a period of time, I'd never get married again. So just because someone was married and had children, that is not an indicator that they're gonna do it again. So the word red flag, what does red flag mean? See, red flag is different than a deal breaker. If you said to me, Jonathan, I never married no children, is that a deal breaker? I would say, hell no, don't make that a deal breaker. But red flag might mean ask those questions. Ask deeper questions. Speaking of deeper questions. Okay, and those, excuse me, in those deeper questions, you might find out the reason why, maybe. And then you have to decide for yourself if it makes sense. Speaking of questions, I watched an Instagram reel today. It said questions to ask someone on a first date. And I actually saved these because I thought this was very fascinating. So the first question is, what is something about you that you wished people knew? What is something about you you wish people knew? Okay, number one. Number two, what's the best piece of advice you've ever received? What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? Number three, what instantly brightens your day when you think about it? What instantly brightens your day when you think about it? The next one, what achievement are you most proud of? What achievement are you most proud of? By the way, I keep smacking my lips. Please forgive me. What was your upbringing like? What was your upbringing like? What do you need more of in your life? What do you need more of in your life? So I thought these were as interesting questions, but what the video doesn't talk about. Okay, really the answers in this, what's something about you that you wish people knew? You know, I wish people knew that I'm addicted to personal development. Okay, that gives you a little bit of insight into me. What's interesting about this question, it's not about the answer someone's provides, you know, like what's the best piece of advice you ever received? The answers aren't the most important facet of these questions. What these questions do is develop intimacy with another person. It develops trust with another person. It's not the answers that are as most critically important is do they engage with you through these questions? Do they engage with these questions? But it's not the answers. The most important answers relates to what does commitment look like for you? What does a relationship look like for you? Those are critically important questions to determine where this person is at. If you are like me that seeks partnership with another human being. And more importantly, finding out about their past relationships. This is where you have to be a detective. These questions are great. And by the way, the person receiving the question feels a bit acknowledged at that point. So it's great from their perspective because they seem like you're interested. But is the other person interested the other way around? You might share your answers, but they're not listening. What you have to listen to most important is how strong is their desire to want a fully committed relationship with someone? That's my invitation for you, okay? All right, great. R.M. Bell is in the house. I'm traveling to the city where there's an old male friend I'm keen to reconnect with. He told me no contact until I'm divorced. I'm almost divorced. I'm separated but live together still. R.M., you don't have a question there but thank you for sharing this statement. But if you would please R.M., what is your question? Because I don't know what your question is based on that statement. I guess it could be the question is should I... He's been very clear. He doesn't wanna have any contact with you until you're divorced and you're still living with them. I'm just gonna tell you, he's a smart man. He should avoid you because you are still entangled with somebody else and he doesn't wanna get caught up with your entanglement. I'm gonna give him his props for not wanting to engage with you, okay? Oh, wait a minute. Coming back. But Jonathan, I really like this guy. I really wanna make it work. Folks, you gotta clean your own house before you put someone else in the mill. He's a smart man. Okay, just because you like him and you wanna connect with it. Wait, I'm traveling to a city where there's an old friend of mine keen. I'm keen to reconnect. It's not he's keen to wreck, you're keen. So just be mindful that you could be, your desires, you know, you're operating on your desires. Are you really doing what's best for him? I invite you to explore that. Okay, Lilia says, do you find that most people nowadays are very superficial when choosing a partner? You know, I think the ego oftentimes operates from a place of superficiality. At the same time, I think most humans are just ridiculously unconscious and are operating on some really bad programming. That bad programming is chemistry equals relationship success. So because it's all based chemistry, oftentimes is based on attraction and attraction can be manufactured in a superficial way. I think there is a significant percentage of people that are just unconscious in the dating marketplace. So yeah, I do believe that's the case sometimes. Ah, bup, bup, bup, oh. Hey, listen, I've got a Facebook group listed below called Midlife Love Mastery. Look at, check it out in the description. This is one of our Facebook members and she asked, Jonathan, I did ask all the questions. It was like a job interview. The trouble is I think trusted, I think I trusted that he knew himself well enough to have worked through his issues. I trusted his answers. He presented very well. I should have followed my two year rule. The first two years are powerful time of re-equilibrium in relationships, family and financing. Plus he was very honorable and wouldn't say anything negative about his ex. You know, I went into the, I was a train wreck after my divorce. I've shared this publicly, but I was pretty honorable about all of it. I was pretty transparent about all of it. So, you know, it's actually for a lot of women, a man's vulnerability is incredibly intoxicating, but you have to learn to read between the lines. You have to learn to read between the lines like a detective because charming people can particularly detectives. They've learned how to read between the lines of charming people that have committed a crime, but they're so charismatic. It's the same with wounded people. That man's vulnerability can be incredibly intoxicating because you think he's talking about, you know, I have a meme. I'm gonna share this with you, okay? This is, this might help you, okay? The meme says, here's the meme, oops, excuse me. Let me do this. Here's the meme on Instagram, okay? Here's the meme on Instagram. There's a link below to follow my Instagram. It says, beware of the man who doesn't talk about his feelings. A man can share his past from an emotional perspective. He can share the struggles he has at work. He can regularly say I love you usually after you said it to him and he can even ask you to move in with him, but that doesn't mean he deeply cares for you. The best way a man can show he cares is when he, when he, excuse me, the best way a man shows he cares is when he consistently opens up emotionally sharing his feelings about you and what it feels like to be with you. We've got to be careful in the early stages because we're amped up on lust and limerence when he talks about you. But is it talking about how you make him feel or how he feels about you? See, you have to almost be a detective in the early stages because vulnerability is incredibly intoxicating. It's incredibly intoxicating. So great, I know there wasn't a question there but I thanks for posting that. I really appreciate it. Roller Girl says I never married and no children. Doesn't make her any less capable of being in relationship than a person married, divorced with children, okay? Oh, Jay Breezy talks about those questions. Yes, I agree, those are interesting questions. Oh, Corny Cobb is in the house. Not a question but hi, Jonathan, just wanted to tell you that we just got engaged. We've been watching you together for over two years. Thank you so much. Well, just giving props to your guy for watching my content. I'm really happy for you. Congratulations, giving you a big gigantic Chathamira. By the way, folks, I have an announcement to share. One of you sweet people made this t-shirt for me, this t-shirt for me based on my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? Look at how sweet this is. Isn't this the sweetest thing? This is from Sunshine Labardi. Thank you so much for this sweet shirt. By the way, it's a little bit too large for me. It would, I would swim in it, but I think it'd be great for working out and doing things with. So thank you so much, Corny, or excuse me, Sunshine Labardi for that sweet gift. I really appreciate it. Folks, your kindness and generosity over the years, particularly after my son passed away, has been absolutely heartwarming. So thank you so much for the love. Okay, let's keep going. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Oh, Jen Wall says, I don't trust my picking skills. I have been married twice, both narcissists. I'm a magnet for damaged people. I'm too nice. The inner work, the inner work. My book is just a tiny sampling of all the different modalities I've studied to get to where I'm out today. If you want to do some healing, work on yourself, work with a therapist. I highly recommend that. All right, power of cheese in the house. I believe dating a freshly divorced person is dangerous because they haven't had time to heal from what type of loss or for that type of loss. What do you think? Folks, I'm in full agreement. I'm in full agreement. Divorce, as I said earlier in this broadcast, is an unraveling of the tapestry of an old life. And so it can be incredibly challenging to be in a place that for a man or woman, to be in a place ready to recommit to someone. It took me, I would say, let's see. Took me five years after my divorce to have my most, you know, I had two significant relationships after my marriage ended. And so, oops. So that's the first time. The second time took another five years. So for many men, they go through what's called the tunnel. Not familiar with the work of Allison Armstrong. She wrote the book, The Queen's Code, The Queen's Code, Allison Armstrong. She talks about the tunnel men go through. This is much like Joseph Campbell's, the hero's journey men and women go through as a healing process for themselves. So I went through my hero's journey to get to the place I'm at today. I've been on this journey for almost 15 years. I think I'm finally, I'll be candid with you. I think for the first time in my life, I'm finally at a really good place. I had to go through a lot of pain, a lot of suffering, some relationships. Hopefully I've been a benefit to the person I've been in relationships with. I hope they feel that way. I do know that. I got the sweetest card from Marie the other day saying thank you for being a part of her journey. I know for my previous relationship, Sherry, she felt that way. I don't know if my ex-wife feels that way, but we managed to have two children whom we love and adore. So anyway, yes, I do believe dating someone freshly after a divorce could be very problematic. All right, by the way, if you wanna join the hot seat, I would love someone to be brave enough. I will promise to be really kind this time if you want to join the hot seat. So I just posted the link there, okay? Jeanette says, hi, Jonathan, thank you so much. All right, Lena is in the house. What are some of your top tips for uncoupling getting over a breakup? Great question. So shortly after my relationship ended with Marie, I've been processing quite a bit about it. First is being in a state of recognizing if a relationship isn't, by the way, she ended it with me, so let me be clear. If it's not right for one person, it's not right for two people. So really understanding, embodying, if it's not right for one person, it's not right for both. I think that is critically important, okay? Okay, number two. Oh, Lena, you're asking how to join the hot seat. Click this link, I just posted right there. If anyone wants to be on live with me right now and ask a question, I charge a ridiculous amount of money to coach with me. You get to work with me for free right now. Okay, coming back to your question. Coming back to Lena's question. What are some of your top tips? Okay, here's the four questions I invite you to ask yourself. What positive things about yourself did you learn in this relationship? What positive things did you learn about yourself? Number two, how did you heal from this relationship? How did you heal from this relationship? Number three, what was good about the relationship? What was good? And not about wanting to get back together because it was good, but four and most importantly, what are you most grateful for? I'm gonna tell you something with my relationship with Mary, I am beyond grateful on so many different things. And while I am genuinely saddened and still grieving the ending of the relationship, still a little bit of residue, there's a little bit of a scar. God, there's so much to be grateful for on so many different levels. For the first time in my life, folks, I went all in. Do you know what it's like to go all in? Like you're like, you know what? I'm gonna accept this person warts and all, I wanna go till the end. I don't think I ever reached that point in my life. Now, I recognized I compromised in some areas for myself and I think she did the same, that's why it didn't work out for her. But for the most part, that was a real, I mean, I am grateful that I actually did something for the first time in my life and I went all in. So coming back to those four questions, what positive things did I learn about myself in this relationship? How did I heal from this relationship? What was good about this relationship? And most importantly, what am I grateful for? All right, hey, Barbara's in the house. We haven't seen you in a little while. Actually, I know you're on regularly, so I see your name. Do you think users, spenders, a-holes truly want a healthy relationship and simply date healthy people to see if they can do it or they truly have character flaw and it's just impossible to date them? Okay, what she's talking about folks, everybody, is I have three types of people who are actively dating. Okay, I called them, by the way, this is not a fact, it's merely an opinion. I call them users, spenders and grower builders. Users, they seek short-term game, their love bombers, players, gold diggers, entitled people. They only are in it for their own needs. Spenders, they want companionship, connection, and sex, but they have no direction, uncertain, fearful. Their life is dysfunctional. Or the builders and growers. They seek long-term commitment. They are emotionally grown up. They have good relationship skills, they have their act together, okay? So the users and spenders coming back to Barbara's question, do they date healthy people? Most of the time, by the way, a user usually finds somebody who is most likely broken, okay, a user usually finds a broken person. And when I say broken person, I mean somebody who does, they have weak emotional maturity or weak relationship skills, okay? So a user typically finds those people. Spenders typically find other spenders. In other words, these are people who want companionship, connection, or sex. See, the thing is most women have this preconceived notion that just because you are more apt to want commitment more so than men, that a lot of women suspect that they're healthy. By the way, folks, if you're not familiar with my chart on emotional maturity and relationship skills, by the way, this is not a fact, it's merely opinion. 20% of the population is clinical, 20% is healthy, and I'm being generous when I say 20%. Most everybody is dysfunctional. Users and spenders usually find themselves with dysfunctional people because a dysfunctional person will accept a user or spender. An emotionally healthy person will not accept a user or spenders, okay? But this is where you have to be a detective because at first that healthy person who isn't a good detective might get attached to a user or a spender because they didn't read the signs that that person was most likely had clinical or dysfunctional issues. So that healthy person might get swayed but that's really a reflection of their own skill set. So I'm just giving you some perspective on this. You may not agree with me, Barbara, because you might have found yourself believing that you're healthy and you find yourself with users and spenders. I believe a very small percentage of the population actually has good relationship skills and has good emotional maturity. Most everybody is delusional. We all think that we are the exception. Fact is I'm here to say I've got, I'm riddled with issues. I don't consider myself incredibly healthy. I think I'm more conscious than the average person. That I would say that is, but I'm just in the same boat as what I talk about here. The thing is I'm very conscious and intentional and that's really the more important question to be asking, okay? So thank you so much for that question. Laura, Ms. White says, do you feel Marie went all in and didn't wanna get remarried? You know what? This was a red flag for me. She actually said she didn't wanna get remarried. That should have been a red flag for me. Let me reframe that. That should have been a deal breaker for me. She kinda hinted she might change her mind. So it was a little bit of a, I don't wanna say a bait and switch, but I do believe that her fear of getting remarried had some deeper issues associated with it. And I didn't do enough of my due diligence on that because I do wanna get remarried. I do. I'm okay with a spiritual marriage. It doesn't have to be a contract with the government. I'm totally fine with a spiritual marriage, but I will say that that was probably that, it was definitely a red flag, but she gave me hints that she might change her mind in that area. But I think there was some deeper issues between the two of us for her anyway, that caused her, she certainly went all in from the perspective of she moved and moved her furniture and did, she really made a, she even said, look, I did my best. I think she genuinely did her best. I think there was some stuff. There was some differences between the two of us that made it challenging. And I think there were some things in her life that didn't fit in with my life that made it such that she wanted to move to be with her siblings and her cousins in Florida. And she openly admits she didn't like being in California. She came to visit, she came to California recently and said, I really just don't like California. So anyway, that's a thank you for that question. I appreciate Jen said, yeah, I still have a taboo of marriage. You might ruin it. I'm still working on that. Yeah. You know, if someone wants marriage and someone doesn't, that's kind of a fundamental value difference. So, hey, we've got Brian in the house. Brian, are you willing to join the hot seat? Here, I put a link here. We would love a man to join us. Would you be willing to join the hot seat right now? I put a link, you can get on here live with me. I think the women would love to hear from you. Post, if you're gonna do it, I'd like to let me know if you'll join the hot seat and then I'll wait a few minutes for you to do all the little technology to get there. Let's see whatever questions. She said, Jen says, for an opinion, that sure sounds spot on. Thank you so much, Jen, I appreciate that. What other questions do we have here? Linda, Lena says, thank you for those tips and being vulnerable and sharing your personal story. You're very welcome. Folks, I'm a little bit one-dimensional. I'm addicted to human behavior. I mean, studying of human behavior. I am rather fascinated with the human experience, particularly also what happens to us when we pass away. And so, it's one of the reasons why I do plant medicine for spiritual journeys to explore deeper consciousness. But most importantly, human pair bonding fascinates me. I am rather curious at how people operate in their lives. That's why I study a lot of my contemporaries. That's why I watch a lot of videos. I watch red pill videos. I watch mannispere videos. I listen to podcasts like Jay Shetty and Louis Howes and Chris Williams and just to name a few. I follow Dr. Rami who talks about narcissism or narcissist. Sam Rathkin or whatever his name is, Rathkin, I follow him. I'm fascinated with this human experience. And I study, I spend hours a day studying my own behavior. I'm very blessed that my higher self created a life where I can examine my own dysfunctionality. It's interesting, I was with my coach yesterday on one of our coaching sessions. You might have seen a video I had with her, Sabrina Rising. So I wanna tell you something that happened to me the other day. Okay, I went to, I had an Amazon, I had two things I purchased from Amazon. I was going to Whole Foods to return them on a Sunday, okay? Well, it turns out, and they have a little counter there where a person takes all your stuff and then you can return it. And it turns out that person wasn't gonna be in for another hour or two, but they had a kiosk where you could self serve and put the things in a box and return them. And I said, oh, I don't wanna do that. I'll fuck it up. And as I started, and I said that to the woman who was telling me about the kiosk, I had this. So I wanna share with you what happened in the emotional tug of war I was going through. Technology frustrates me. I don't like many facets of how we do things in our world today with our smartphones and scanning and QR codes and Uber. Oh my God, I always tend to screw up Uber for some reason and I get frustrated. I get frustrated with technology. And as I was walking out, I was so mad at myself because in the scheme of things, I probably could have figured it out, but I was so fucking self-critical. It was this, if I crucified myself on the cross of being a worthless human being who couldn't figure out how to do a scan thing at this little kiosk. And as I was walking back to my car, I was like, oh, let me go back inside and do it. But then I was so embarrassed because I told this woman, I'm an idiot with technology. I was, I mean, imagine that self-deprecation I had and then the embarrassed, that little kid that felt embarrassed. And I beat myself up all the way going home. I mean, I'm driving home and I only live a few blocks away. Do you see how I'm sharing with you an experience which occupied a lot of real estate for me. It occupied a lot of real estate. In other words, emotional real estate. And I talked to my coach about it and it's because I, you know, technology doesn't feel safe to me. I had a friend that got hacked on her Facebook account and lost her entire Facebook account. I mean, we live in a world I can't imagine being an elderly person today having to deal with, you know, if you want to do something, you got to get this QR code and you have to get a text message. You got to hit one. I mean, technology absolutely, you know, makes me fearful at times. And we live in a world where literally, you know, AI could set off a nuclear bomb someday. You know, it's rather scary, but most important is this little trivial thing I went through caused me a lot of emotional up evil. Why am I bringing this up? Because I'm here to say as much personal development work, self-help and spiritual work I do on myself, it is peeling layers of the onion. I recognize that this isn't very attractive about me. Most women will reject me because I have a weakness. I am a human flawed, I have insecurities, dare I say flaws? But Jonathan, you're not confident. You know, we women need confident men. If you're not a confident man and you can't fix things, you know, I can't be safe with you. Okay, technology kind of fucks me up a little bit, but I can be an emotional hero in her life because I have learned a lot of other skills that make me rather competent in the world. I started a business from scratch and I'm one of the top relationship coaches in the country. And yet I am just as flawed or dysfunctional as most everyone else. We all have our shit. That's why I'm a big proponent of introspective work, doing the inner work. So it doesn't have to consume you like it did for that hour or so what it consumed me. Roller Girl says you are doing amazing, Jonathan, thank you. I only share this because can any of you relate? Say if you can relate on any level of something I just shared put in the little chat box, I can relate. It doesn't have to be an example. It doesn't have to be the exact same example, but just tell me if you can relate on an emotional level the turmoil we humans might experience and imagine if we're experiencing a lot of these things that's reason why it makes it difficult to actually bond with another human being because we're dealing with a lot of emotional shit. By the way, for those that get offended by my profanity, I'm sorry, I call them expletives. I just like to use profanity to make for effect purposes. Janice says I can relate. Janice says I can relate. Jen says I'm a hard person to live with OCD about my stuff. I talk way too much. I think everyone has flaws. It's finding that person that doesn't mind exactly. Margaret says I've had that self-deprecation too. If you can relate, let me know, let me know. All right, folks. Yep, one of our Facebook members says I can relate. I get it, I get it, I get it. Hey, you know what? Our M. Bell says I can relate. See, we're all very similar. There's no such thing as a healthy person. We all got our stuff. All right, Stephanie. Do you believe in soulmates or that they are people we have special and eternal connection with that perhaps we knew before with this earthly existence? Sounds crazy, but I wonder. First off, you are not crazy. I totally believe in that. In fact, I have an Instagram meme. It says, hold on a second. Let me just say this. It says soulmates come into our lives to teach us a lesson. Our true love goes to school with us each and every day holding hands. That's a meme on my Instagram. It's my quote. Oh, I totally, you know, it's funny. Okay, so you guys wanna hear something funny. During a spiritual journey, I had this strong belief that Marie and I had connected in South America, probably in the 14th century, 13th, 14th century. She was a princess, a young princess. She was like 14 years old in her tribe. I came from a neighboring tribe. I was slightly older and we fell in love and we left the tribe to make it on our own. I'm gonna tell you something. I visualize this at such a heightened strong level. I can't get into the granular pieces of this because there's some things that are private to Marie and I. But what was interesting is she left our relationship because she wanted to go back to her tribe. See, I took her away from her tribe and I think there was a karmic reason why we got together. There was a karmic reason why we got together to heal that piece where I took her away from her tribe. Now, I didn't do that per se here in this reincarnation, but I do believe that we were soulmates in a previous life. I took her away from her tribe and she left because she had to go back to her tribe. I saw that in our first meet, by our third date, I had that vision, not our third date, our fifth date. I had that strong vision and sure it ended up manifesting itself. So yes, to answer your question, who wrote that? Stephanie, to answer your question, yes, there's nothing woo-woo crazy about it, okay? So I hope, I'd like to hear your thoughts on what I just shared. Ah, yes, past life progression. I've experienced this. RM Bell says, you look good at cod piece and feather hat. Cod piece and feather hat, Jonathan. I don't know what that is, okay? Barbara wrote, healthy word seems to be triggering people. How about someone who is self-aware, confident, emotionally intelligent, basically has done the work and their stuff. Jeez, we exist. Again, I think we all have, okay, here's the thing. The answer is yes, there are far less people who are more self-aware in everything you said. But the reality is, is even those people self-aware have their shit. They do have their shit. They might have their life together, but they still have their shit. All right, Stephanie says, I love, thank you, Jonathan. I love that. Roller girl says, past lives, yes. Melissa says, she went to Florida, reconnect with her tribe. There's definitely something to that. Yeah, she went to go, her siblings live in Florida, her cousins live in Florida. Her children live in other areas, but she had to go back to her tribe. In fact, living in Florida is just a hop skip and a jump to Columbia. And she goes to Columbia regularly now. She really said to me, she wanted to reconnect with her roots. And so it's quite possible, I took her from her tribe, and her wanting to go back. And so the fact that if in the 14th century we did connect, the fact she was willing to join me, oh, I'm gonna cry. That speaks volumes. That speaks volumes. I'm actually really tearing up over this thought right now. So, wow. Anyway, so anyway, yes, I believe in past lives and all that good stuff and soulmates and stuff. By the way, is it true or not? I have no fucking idea if it's true, but I believe it's true. And in my world, it is true. See, we have our own reality that is true for us. It doesn't mean it's true for everyone else. It's just true for me. Gigi says, I'm a young soul and I've had one previous life, but it wasn't long one. That's quite possible. Ah, Jen says, Arendelle, it was South America. He probably had a leather skirt and bare chest. Oh, God, I got it, got it. Now I know what you're talking about. That's funny. By the way, come on, someone joined me on the hot seat. It would be fun to interact with someone. I'm willing to go a little bit longer today. Nor, oh, I don't know how to pronounce your name. Or you made her realize how she was connected to her roots without realizing it. So your mission was to trigger her inner consciousness. Folks, that is a very profound statement. I am very aware that I triggered or made her realize how much she wanted to get connected with her roots being in this unrooted relationship with me. I think she absolutely recognizes how profound our relationship was for her to really connect because I think poor Marie, I think she got married at age 23. She had no real, she met her first husband at age 19, got married at 23. After a marriage, she was in a new relationship a year after that that lasted six years. And I think in her life, she'd always been a wife. And so her role was to serve and give to others. I don't think she truly got a chance to work on her own stuff and be her own boss, if you will, because she was following such old fucking programming. This narrative you're hearing where, you know, women are subservient to men that they must submit to men so they can get provided and protected for. Sets a woman up for her loss of her sovereignty. It's, here's what I just said. It sets a woman up for the loss of her sovereignty. See, if we meet someone at a young age and we don't know who we are as a person, we meet someone at a young age and get attached to them, all of a sudden we're a wee, but many of the red pill in the hemisphere want to sell you on a narrative that women are subservient to men, that men are the leaders of the relationship and what the byproduct of that is a loss of sovereignty. And I think in Marie's case, she left because she had to really learn who she is as a person on her own and spend some time really integrating who she is as a person. I recognize that. Our relationship helped expose that for her. And I'm happy for her for that. I really genuinely am. I'm saddened because I was willing to go the distance. I was ready to go the distance, but she did me a favor too because I need to meet someone who can meet me at that same plane that I'm on, that same watermark level, because some of the things I was into, she wasn't into and these are critically important things for me in my life. And so, anyway, thank you for that. I really, coming back to this, I really, I'm gonna repeat this, or you made her realize how she was connected to her roots without realizing it. So your mission was to trigger her inner consciousness. I'm crying. I mean, I can't tell you how much internally that crying is simply our heart opening up and that's what I'm experiencing with that. So thank you so much. Roller Girl says, yes, exactly. Barbara, I love that point of view. She's talking about the previous thing about healthy people that you couldn't have shown. You couldn't show her her path. That's, oh, I think you're talking about now, I understand this. So that speaks to me when I reflect on some connections I've made with men knowing that they were not my person, but simply I need to learn something. You know what? If I'm in full transparency, my higher self knew, Marie was not my go the distance person. My higher self knew this. My basic self had to learn it through the experience. And it was through the experience that I've now connected with my higher self. By the way, folks, when I think of spirituality, I think of our higher self, our connection to our divinity and our basic self, our human experience. This is the way I view the world. You don't have to agree with me. This is how I view the world. So I had to go through this experience to learn the lesson I needed to learn. She was definitely a soulmate in my life. My true love is just around the corner. I believe she is just around the corner. I truly believe that. So, and I have a dating profile that exemplifies that. So I'm gonna read to you what my dating profile reads. I think you might find this fascinating. But I'm gonna read to you what I want, okay? It's gonna take me a few minutes to read this. So bear with me, okay? But I do believe she's just around the corner. So it goes like this. For the past five years after losing my son, I've been on a deep exploration to find out who I really am beyond fear and ego. A journey of self-love who seeks a marriage-minded woman or at least living together who wants to explore the depths of love. This isn't about growing old with someone. I wanna grow in life and with love with a remarkable woman. I won't shut up about I'm fascinated with human behavior, personal development and the meaning of life from a spiritual perspective, especially in the areas of self-love and self-worth. We're a fit if you have a curious mind because I'm attracted to an inquisitive woman interested in expanding mutual consciousness. Let's say personal development and spirituality are my jam. Is it yours too? The depth of a soul is so vast that we need lifetimes to get to know our true love. My heart yearns for a woman capable without the distractions of doing, of going deeper to explore the truest meaning of what it is to love. I desire and seek someone who can go down rabbit hole conversations wanting to know how I feel and what I think as I do the same for her. The person with a curious mind versus wanting to know what's up. Most humans talk to each other instead of with each other which they believe is communication. In my world, real communication is intimacy, speaking from the heart and more importantly listening from the heart. The way I describe myself is tall with dark hair and a big teddy bear heart. Maybe I'd say I'm a good guy with an edge and yet I'm human with insecurities or dare I say flaws. The thing that freaks me out most is condiments. I can't stand to be near catch up or mustard and yet what I can do is hold your heart like a precious jewel as your lover and heart protector. Professionally, I'm a writer, speaker and coach who chooses to be more of service than chasing money or power because I wanna spread self-love to all who are suffering. At the same time, the universe has seen fit to award me with abundance and I'm financially self-sufficient seeking a partner who's the same. Ideally, I'd like to meet a conscious empowered woman who is a combination of feminine and masculine in the sense that she is both a giver and receiver. She has a big heart that yearns to be expressed with healthy emotional maturity and good relationship skills. Where did I go? Oh, she is either an empty nester or no children with the time to explore and play in the depths of love. Ideally, she'll be self-employed and free to spend time regularly here in Redondo Beach. She is a natural giver without being a doormat and financially independent and has a generous sharing nature who is interested in plant medicine ceremonies to explore deeper consciousness and spirituality. The question I'd like to ask each other, who am I? Who are you? Let's explore the journey side by side. Thank you for taking the time to read and those who are listening. P.S. I'm a graduate of the Hoffman process and insight seminars one, two, and three. I'm a big fan of Abraham Hicks, Joe dispens our course and miracles. If you have a strong desire to join my mission to spread love and awaken human consciousness, please feel free to contact me. All I ask is you read this profile carefully and ask yourself, are we a fit? Folks, I believe I'm inviting you to write your story, just like I shared mine publicly. I invite you to write your story. Someone might say, oh my God, Jonathan, that is overwhelming. That is so overwhelming, you will intimidate women. First off, if a four minute minor description, and I mean minuscule description of what I think my life is like is overwhelming someone, if this minuscule four minute description is overwhelming to someone, I mean, imagine being with me full-time because this is just a taster of who I'm like. Now that might overwhelm someone, I get that. Not my awakened woman, not my empowered woman. She can meet me at this level. By the way, this is just a taste, it's the taster. If that is too much for someone, who I am as a person is way too fucking much for them. I'm looking to find my watermark, that person who can meet me. And she already knows she's at that watermark level. She knows herself. She knows who she is and where she's at. I'm inviting you all to get more granular into who you are and what you seek. And if you need support right there, this is my whole job, I can help cultivate this out of you. So schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. By the way, I recognize, by the way, I was never a writer. My capacity to write is because I write from the heart. I'm writing from the heart when you can tap into your heart, words flow. Pimei says, that was a well-composed life introduction. Jonathan, I appreciate you sharing, you're very welcome. Margaret says, that is wisdom. Thank you. Roller Girl says, I love how you have great thought to your words and what you read to us. I'm happy to hear that. Jeanette says, very beautiful. Thank you, I appreciate that. Stephanie is back in the house. She says, do you think there's a difference between what we already discussed? Oh, yeah, I think soulmates, I think most everybody meets multiple soulmates in their lives and some of those soulmates go the distance, okay? Okay, so I do believe that. True love is those people that literally they have an affinity the moment they meet. Now, sometimes this is known as twin flames but I'm not, I don't call that. I just like, see, I'm a big fan of the princess bride. Does anyone remember the princess bride? I just believe in true love or too belive. Does anyone remember too belive, true love? So I think many soulmates come into our lives to teach us lessons and in some cases, soulmates go the distance. I think true love are two people that have an affinity the minute they meet and that's what true love is, in my opinion, okay? So thank you for that question. Thank you, Stephanie, for that question. Maki says, I'd love to get some help. This is an emotional roller coaster. Maki said, schedule a Mookie, schedule a discovery call with me. That's my coaching, you gotta pay for the coaching but I'm willing to help you. When you meet the right persons, the resistance to marriage goes away for a while, I was in hell bent on marriage again. When I surrendered, that is when I met them. Way to go. Divine says, you have awesome energy. I love that, thank you divine feminine vibe high. Crystal's in the house. Does your profile say that you're looking for a wealthy lady? Not sure I understood that part. No, it said I'm looking for someone financially independent, financially independent. What that means to say is she can take care of her own life, okay? That's what I'm seeking. If she needs someone else to take care of her then she needs to find a sugar daddy in my world, okay? But I'm just looking at someone who can take care of themselves financially independent. Okay, thanks for that question. Laura says, what do you think about men lying about their age on a date? Well, I think what you mean to say is if someone flat out tells you a lie on a date, I just think that's inexcusable. I think most dating profiles men and women alike they fudge on their age to be seen in the algorithm. If you consider that lying, you make your own choice. That doesn't bother me, someone fudges their age. I'm not bothered by it. By the way, I have yet to meet the human being who hasn't lied once in their life. And if you think once a liar, always a liar, he who casts the first stone, who he with who out sin can cast the first stone, okay? Everybody has lied in their lives, okay? Okay, R.M. Bell says I want to join the hot seat, but my soon to be ex is home and listens to me. Okay, next time R.M. Bell. Hey folks, I think this will be a great place to wrap up on our Saturday morning. I hope you found value in this conversation. We went down a lot of rabbit holes. This was a lot of fun. If you found value in this, say, Jonathan, I loved it in the chat box. If you did love it, do me a favor, hit that little dollar sign and donate to the Connor Asley Scholarship Fund. We still have another $40 to go for today. I would love if you'd give some love today to those who, so I can give some scholarship money away. So hit that little dollar sign. If you're watching the replay, hit that super thanks. All right, we're about to wrap up. If you found value in this video, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear all your thoughts. As always, if you found value in this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well so you can be notified of new videos. And also if you wanna connect with me, there's links below in the first comment section and in the show notes where you can schedule a discovery call with me so you can find me on Instagram. You can join my group called Midlife Love Mastery. I would love some love and support. So check out those links. Hey, let's give props to Beach Lover for that $10 super sticker. RM Bell says, thank you. I may say I loved it. Power of Cheese said I loved this, loved it. Lisa Mookie says, love this. Melissa says, I loved it. Jen says, I loved it. Elena's in the house. Another great conversation. Thank you. Stephanie says, thank you. Beach Lover says, thank you. Folks, I am so grateful to be of love and support to you all. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic John of the Barric of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking to turn to someone, a pet Teddy Barrow pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we can all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank all those that donated today. I really appreciate it. And to all those that are alive, giving you a big hug. Have a fab day. Be well. Bye now.