 Alright, so I'm stuck inside for quarantine, and you idiots are making me read the spooky old tree. Thanks! This is the introduction song. It's not very good, but it's not too long. I keep reading requests for this one, so I was like, well, fine. I got some free time, might as well get to it. This book is terrible, okay? It's about this family, at least I think their family. They don't really make it clear. In fact, the main characters don't even get names. But they're these anthropomorphic bears called the Berenstein Bears, or Berenstein Bears. I think they might be Jewish or something. Can bears be Jewish? I don't know. But they don't even have names in this. They're just the one with the rope, the one with the stick, and the one with the light. And I feel like it would have been easier to keep track of them if they said, like, hey, this one's name Tim, and this one's name Sally, whatever. And then there's also their mom, who doesn't have a name either, but at least I think it's their mom. And again, they don't make it clear whether they're our family or not, but whatever. They go off to investigate this spooky old tree, which is apparently like a dungeon or something, and it's right down the road from their house, which is also a tree, which is, I don't know, the world building, and this is terrible. But anyways, they go inside, and it's full of like booby traps and giant crocodiles and stuff like that. And the book is just them exploring and then having to escape. It sounds fine on its own, but my god, this is a great example of why the premise doesn't matter nearly as much as the execution. Okay, so for starters, every time, every time they come up against some new danger or new threat or something, it says, do they dare climb up the stair, or do they dare go over there or whatever? And it cuts to, yes, they dare, and it's like, well, guys, we know they're daring after the second or third time. Like, you don't need to keep doing that. It gets really repetitive. Like, just say, they went over it. And every time it happens, something, they lose some of their equipment. Like, a stick, a rope, and a light aren't exactly great for dungeon diving. Like, okay, the rope makes sense, the light makes sense, they should have brought more than one of each, whatever, those make sense. What the hell are they going to do with a stick? What good does that do them? So anyways, every time they go through an obstacle, they lose some of their equipment and they're less able to go on. And the one that lost their piece of equipment gets the shivers. And I think that's supposed to be some sort of disease or maybe like a metaphor for PTSD or maybe it's a poison or something. Again, nothing in this is made very clear. Whatever. They get the shivers and then as they go through, things get worse and worse and worse. And, okay, spoilers here, so if you don't want to hear that, click off. But basically, the last obstacle they come up against is a, quote, great sleeping bear. And that intrigues me because this bear is huge, it's multiple times bigger than they are, but it's also not anthropomorphic. Like the baronstein bears are anthropomorphic, so they have, you know, hands and their intelligence and stuff. This great sleeping bear looks like just a regular bear, but he's also really big and I think he's supposed to be hibernating or something, which raises a question like, why is this bear different from those bears? Are the baronstein bears like some sort of upper class family? You know, are the Jewish anthropomorphic bears, are they the ruling class of this world? Is that how this works? And then the regular bears are some sort of oppressed minority or something? Is that what's going on? I don't know. This book could have really explained that, but they don't. So anyways, after they lose everything, they just kind of escape. And that's another thing is that, okay, this big old spooky tree, which is full of traps and dungeons and suits of armors and giant sleeping bears, is also apparently designed for these anthropomorphic bears to be able to get around. Like, you know, it has ladders and stuff. So, okay, if it was built by other anthropomorphic Jew bears, then sure, that would make sense, but the only living things in there are crocodiles and the great sleeping bear. And for that matter, how did the great sleeping bear even get into the place that he was in in the tree? Because I think he's near the top of it. And then all the slides and everything, whatever, man. Like, I'm thinking way too much about this. So, yeah, spooky old tree. It sucks. Don't read it. I hate you guys for recommending it to me. It's terrible. Like, easily. Top 10 worst. Still not as bad as Lovely Bones. But, you know, top 10 worst. Thanks, patrons. Ooh, check the upload date. Bye.