 All right, you guys ready? I can't believe it's been a year and a half since I played this Wow, this guy looks like he eats corn the long way chat This is what I looked like four years ago when I got banned. This is what I was wearing Wait, I'm in a public. Are you sure? Did you just join a random fucking mouth? Hey, do you see that blue listen? Hey, come with me Hello Can you hear me? Oh, can you hear me here before someone fucking finds us? Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes? Okay? I'm not doing by the way. Oh, really? I farted can you hear it? Yeah? Oh I heard it though. That was good. So I come inside this Let me pick an avatar. Hold on. Do you want me to do you as a dragon girl or is like a dude? A dude. Okay. You look good. Thank you. You look good. Okay. I'm You've been working out. Thanks a little bit. Yeah, nice. Can you tell? Yeah, I like the Okay, follow me. Can you slay some wolves for me? No, I'm out of mana Wait eight copper Open trade. Two XP. Busty Dirk. All right. Hold on. It's not working. Sweet. Thanks Okay, I'm here for the bitches of those So okay, then I would choose the booth Yeah, I was gonna I was gonna make it a Surprise for chat, but everybody already knows a surprise chat. Okay DJ you could swap into it You could clone it and then favorite it and then swap to it later. Hey look I'm tough right? I can touch my finger. Yeah, that's like the shy finger thing like that's like the people Yeah Yes Emery wants to be a server, but we don't have the avatars. Okay You don't know if the avatar is okay. Okay, hold on. Yeah, I gave her an avatar to work What avatar? There's one final thing I have to teach you and then we could begin. Okay. Come here to this booth Okay, so you're gonna click your camera button Okay, there's two things that you have to click in your camera button first. There's a Stable camera bullshit button something there. I don't know you'll see it Camera is its own tab on the bottom. Okay, so that's your camera All right, so this whatever this camera sees your chat sees whatever you see in that little thing that you're holding Is what your chat sees so you could put it on yourself. You could put it on someone else Um, wait, wait, really different options. You could yeah Oh, what the hell Yo, yeah, so you could chat. What's up? It's an eye real stream So what you can do is that you can um actually set up the camera to be stationary right here facing the booth So people can see you and the person and the people you're talking to. Yeah, this is sick You can make it anchored. So it just stays in one spot too if you want. I think I broke it You might have fucked it or your hand is just fucked because it doesn't seem like your hand is moving at all right now How do I fix it? Okay, try to lift up your hand right now. Okay, I'm lifting I'm lifting. Yeah, you're fucked. I don't know what the hell is happening Okay, do a 180 you fucked you were in you were in the table. I guess and it was fucking you up. Oh Here's the corn one avatar. By the way, did you qualm this? Whoa? Hey, it's corn one way there. Hey Hearing that voice come out of cornwood. It's so funny, dude Oh Okay, tone America. I don't know. Does he have a southern accent? I don't I can't do it. Oh, hell typically I sound a little bit like this, but uh Hell, you know what's funny? I don't even know how this sounds on on this uh microphone You know just in case something goes down All right, okay Well, I think I'm good to go. Well corn cornwood cornwood cornwood cornwood cornwood cornwood Yeah, sir, that's fine cleatus cleatus. Hold on. How do I do this damn thing? All right. Well All right, you have a seat. I'm gonna go get your first date. Okay. I'm gonna vanish now. You're not gonna see me I'm gonna be invisible Okay, the rules are gonna be you're gonna meet a bunch of People one by one You're gonna get to know them if you get bored of them you could next them and just tell them to fuck off Okay. Well, where the hell are you? My chances is you should just go point of view because of how bad you're Why this is bad Hell wait, how the hell is this bad? Is this that bad How the hell How's it that bad? It can't be that bad All right, your first date is uh is dj Hello, oh my god. Howdy. Do you mind if I sit? Absolutely, ma'am. Oh my god. I was not planning on being a participant I was planning on serving tonight, but it looks like I'm participating but Nice to meet you. I heard you the sheriff around these parts. Well, uh, yeah I mean we're at uh Over in Los Santos, you know, uh, actually I'm senior captain of bcso I had a hell of a lot of stuff going on, you know, my wife my ex-wife. I should say second She was uh, she was on a damn burning crusade to to get rid of everything from me You know, she took kids took everything I was gone for a little bit And uh, then I got inducted into a league of legends lifetime achievement award for all the police and work that I did You know, it's just how it goes Man of my stature and Expertise getting the uh Getting the sort of recognition finally that I was sort of I was real happy about that You've probably experienced a lot throughout your time and yeah the Forest, you know, so what about you tell me about yourself. I'm just the maid here. I I clean Oh tables and stuff. I was contracted by rob and now I'm here, you know I'm not making much, but you know, it's honest living and that's what I can ask for Okay, well, um, you get what you deserve. That's what I always say. You ever eat corn the long way sometimes That's good to hear. It's the best way to eat corn. Uh cornwood Yeah, I'm just gonna let you know you have a world music on there is piano music if you would rather hear that There's a live piano performance. Wait, that's piano. There's a lot you can put I'm trying to see it Looks my knees my knees are locked up. Oh That happens a lot That's easy to fix you uh, you you go to your menu And then you go to your settings and then you turn off sit mode. You then how do I see it? You just fucking sit, bro I rule Holy shit Oh my god, you just have such a unique way of sitting. Do they teach you how to force? You gotta have good lower lower leg strength Lower leg strength to do that. Tell you what could you could you show me a few of your Workouts, you know What you do for the force? Oh, yeah, I'd love to yeah, I'd love to do that. Okay The important thing is speed, you know That's something we work on quite a bit here Over on the force Something we've been doing for quite some time now big thing you got to work on a speed like obviously you've seen The the ability to get low. Okay, I'm gonna be able to get your hips nice nice low right there. You see that Hips hips nice and low like this Yeah, yeah, like that. Okay. You want to get in a stance where you're able to shoot your hands quickly. Okay. Oh Sheriff, is that okay if I call you sheriff? Actually, what are you wanting to call you? Call me senior captain or sheriff. Either one works senior captain. Yeah, please Um, is it okay if I only have one arm? What do you mean? You only got one arm I dislocated it four four hours ago when I was trying to cook before I got here You're trying to cook and you dislocated your damn arm. Yeah What kind of you tell me what kind of I need listen I need a wife who's able to be able to feed me and take care of my eight kids You can't cook. Okay. Well, here. Let me teach you anyway. Look You want to get down nice and low like this You want to get down nice and low just like this. Okay Right, right, right, right just like so And you want to be able to accelerate quickly Okay, so watch out quickly. Okay. Okay at a high rate of speed you want to Just like that. Okay as fast as possible. So usually I do one of those a day Is that good a little slow a little slow, but but we're gonna work on it The next thing I do is push ups. I'll give one arm, but I'll try it anyway Yeah, maybe actually do one arm do one arm. I need a woman who's able to to To do some manual labor. Okay, if you can do one arm even better. All right, you go down like this like here Okay Just like that. Well, that's pretty horseshit. That was probably the worst attempt that a one-arm push above ever seen. Okay Well, nice to meet you, ma'am. I'm trying Give me a second Minus one what the frick minus one stay in character. Damn it No, I didn't pay for this Oh, oh, howdy. Hello. Oh Howdy howdy, ma'am It's going good. It's going good. How are you? How are you? Yeah, I'm fine. I just almost fell out of my damn chair here. Yeah, it's my first time here Just got in from just out of town from Currently living in Los Santos Oh lord, Jesus All right, waitress She spilled my damn drink Yeah, yeah, you know, it's um, what do you need? Uh, well, I'm I'm actually Uh, senior captain of the bcsl. I'm out there doing the lord's work every day. That's what I do Ma'am, what's your name? Oh, my name is LaCarrie You might know No, uh, hell I ain't never heard of you. How'd you get such a I don't know where to start actually really, okay One day I woke up and I was just like this, you know, really and I've been searching for somebody that can help me All my resources pointed to you captain cornwood. Okay, but you tell me what what is what is your what was your issue? You didn't make a report or what? Yeah, I need to make a report. Okay. This is an emergency. It's very important Okay, okay. What's going on going to tell me took all my resources just to get to you You're my last hope. Okay. I don't know who else I can turn to but I heard you're one of the best in the industry I had to pretend To be a 2d anime girl. Okay, even get here. But now I feel like I'm becoming an actual 2d anime girl. You're a man. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm a man and the deeper I fall into this condition the more I feel like I lose my humanity. I'm slowly falling deeper What the hell are you talking to me about? I don't know. I don't know. Cornwood. I don't know. I'm trying to go back, but I can't go back every time I Every time I think about going back. I just I just go forward and listen. So what are you going back to or what are you? What are you falling forward to? Are you becoming this anime girl? Yes I'm becoming the anime girl because you're so cute, man. I don't know what to do I know dude. I was looking in the mirror for two hours. Hey, check please. I know I hate wait wait. Check please Cornwood, please This is a man. Do you know that would you believe that a man would be would be imitating a 2d anime girl? Oh, you you haven't been in town long, you know, um, this is Actually kind of normal. It's normal. I would say he's probably listen, man You see there's there's different phases. Uh, I would say he's probably about phase three right now Out of how many phases Five phases Okay, so what the hell do you want me to do son? What the hell do you want me to do? Listen, listen relax son relax relax first things first What day is it? Can you tell me February, okay. No, it's thursday. I want you to wait tomorrow's friday The day after that's okay Saturday the day after that is sunday sunday morning Saturday's dj and night call call call it early. Okay, crack it down. Here's what I want you to do sunday morning I want you to drive on over to church. Okay. Okay. I want you to go to church I want you to go ahead and go go talk to the pastor there and he can help you That's damn near the only person Okay, is it normal? No, it ain't corn. Is it you need jesus son? I mean there's something else to gotta tell you There's something else I gotta tell you Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Is it normal to cry after you come? You what people have been making fun of me for a while like, you know, you see something nice After after you you cry. You know what I mean? You need to skip the pastor and you got to talk to jesus straight You just got to go straight. You got to go you got to go straight to the source You got to go talk to the head honcho. That's what I'd say Ain't no damn pastor gonna help you on sunday. You might even want to skip sunday You might want to you not skip sunday. You might want to get expressed Cornwood I'm just hey listen. I used to be the best Listen, I don't care. Hey. Hey. Hey, you can go to I don't you don't got to go to the same damn church I don't know. I don't know when other folks go to church. I know when when old I can't help you. I used to own castles Do you know about valencia in italy? I held that castle for 59 months 59 months cornwood I was 59 months you're italian cornwood. Just break it to me straight. Am I hopeless? No, son one man. They're gonna answer that question big man up there big man upstairs. Yeah Can you hear me? Are you there embrace at la cari? This is you as fat This is me I'm an anime girl I'm an anime. Yes Cornwood. I was trying to run away But I just needed to accept it cornwood. I owe you my life. I'll stick with you I'm gonna help you out during this date night. Okay. Will you accept? I do but just don't touch me. Oh, come on corn. What am I gonna touch you? Come on? You know what cool, right? Okay. I don't want to catch whatever you got one condition. Yeah, what's up? You cannot jack off to the people here I'm not gonna jack off for god sakes rob. Okay stupid raffle shut up, man. Listen. This is like the fifth For this force this time I've been here and I've built resistance I can't dude my voice is fucked today. I've been doing it too much Yo, raffle. I can't do it anymore. Okay. I'll go get the next contestant