 Ladies and gentlemen Tony Gaskins here, let me see if I can Get this thing going here caramel kisses Okay, so I see they let you stay a moderator when I made you a moderator last time Hey, that's what's it out. She really be helping me out That's just the members who can write just the members of the blessed tribe I think for the non-members the link is in the description if you ever decide to be Let me jump right into the Q&A cuz the fight on tonight on one of my apps that I got on my phone fight coming on at 10 So I don't know if I'm a how long be able to stay tonight The divine leaner hey Tony He wants me to stop nitpicking about certain things I don't agree with in the relationship and he doesn't consider It a big deal, but it could be something major in the relationship Listen to me You got to express yourself and this what you have to realize is that if it is like a precursor to a deal breaker Then you have to address it a lot of times men will call it nitpicking But if you know that this little thing Unaddressed can turn into a big thing Then you have to address it the good book say the small fox spoil divine The good book says a little bit of leaven leaven if the whole lump So you have to address it and you can't really worry about it and It's always painful to hear and the reason why it's painful is because nobody wants to be wrong Nobody wants to be wrong. Everybody wants to be right. So What my dad always tell me God is a love. Thank you for joining the blessed tribe He always say in a time of peace prepare for war and So what that means is when it's cool and calm That's when you got to have these conversations versus waiting until it blow up and everything hits the fan and then trying to address it Because at that point things could really get out of hand. So you can't really worry about a Man or a woman telling you stop nitpicking if you know this situation can really turn into a bad situation Now if y'all have a question y'all go ahead and put the questions in here All y'all y'all be saying hey for ten minutes now I'm gonna put your question Hey Tony, ain't I hold not hold your question now to find one hold on you getting ready to pose a question wait Let me answer this question then post the next one Hey Tony, I know you're not a fan of online dating. What are your feelings on speed dating? Pretty much the same thing. It's about the same thing like a Man barely have enough confidence to approach you when you slow dating when you when you walking slow now You're gonna put a time limit on it and expect to have a real connection And I'm in a real man going in there. That's that's old what y'all like to use That's a narcissist. That's probably what you're gonna have on a speed date because it take a whole lot of you know option option Confidence a whole lot The do some speed dating. So I what I would do is just do some slow walking Do you some slow walking and that'll turn into dating versus paying the gold Be a part of a speed dating event Okay, my son fighting in the silver gloves tournament tonight. Okay, that's amazing. It's a fight on the app on Down in Miami And I see it is you too was not what y'all gonna do one day They call me if my YouTube mesh around and grow and they call me to be in one of them fights It's you too was fighting each other on this your apps. I kind of want to see it because they be looking terrible What would the best way to address? lack of connection on the phone when face-to-face is Face the face connection is good on the phone When you have a lack of connection, you got to stop Talking on the phone and you got to start FaceTiming. So FaceTiming still the phone conversation because today Veronica God bless you Today in our world. I struggle even on coaching sessions sometimes if I'm on headphones. I might be on the phone you know looking at some or read some and When I was struggling building as a coach, I Remember client be telling me all their story and they finish talking and I'm like And don't remember a word because of social media came around So today when you talking on the phone with somebody you got to get on FaceTime if you really trying to build a relationship Let me see Hey, Tony. What's the balance between communicating enough and creating boundaries when just beginning to get to know someone? That's a good question. So what that means is you have to communicate until the point that you Start to fringe upon Neglecting your duties. So what this means is? Talking your free time. Don't miss homework Don't be at work on the phone when you supposed to be working and you could get rolled up Don't neglect your children if you got children Don't stay up later than your bedtime on the phone But if you got two hours of free time from 8 p.m. The 10 p.m Talk on if you could talk on the phone, but if your bedtime is 10 p.m Okay, hey, it's been great talking to you I got to get off this phone cuz I got to be up tomorrow. Oh What you mean? You got to get on the phone. Why are you gonna do me like that? Hey, I want to talk to you Well, yeah, that's how good for you. You at work. You working the night shift. I got to get up in the morning Come on. You're gonna do me like that. I want to hear your voice Okay, well, just take a little quick recording of me saying recording and I'm getting ready to hang up this phone So you got about five more second record what you need to record on the voice so you can listen to it Alright, good talking to you. We'll talk tomorrow and see that's one thing women don't do But that's that's a test from a man to see how much he can get from you and out of you And the more you let him infringe on your time and what you got going on and you neglecting your kids your job Your sleep or whatever the more he knows he can get from you Hey, when the new members sign up, you all welcome the new members of the bless tribe Only the members get the right questions in here And I do that. I got to try to keep some type of balance because it'll be too many coming at me Crystal I have a question my boyfriend broke up with me. He told me he'd need time to figure out some things So I gave him a week and in two days called him and he said I allowed too much time to go by First Caramel kisses. No, that's your standard. You ain't got to have a man with kids if you don't If you don't if you don't have kids or don't want a man with kids Chris, let me tell you this The man lied to you. Okay So first what he said he need time to figure some things out that mean he don't like you I mean that he does not see you as the one he's not ready and you got to go on by your business and The next thing is when he said you what you let too much time go by that just another excuse to get out another excuse for him to say He don't want you So don't even entertain him and this one I'm to everybody listen to this especially every woman listening to this Stop letting these men lie to y'all stop letting these men lie to y'all Tell y'all these lies by oh he going through something. Oh, he need to figure this out figure that out Oh, he love you but he's not ready for a relationship. Oh all this all that these men be lying You hear me if a man sees you as his wife, he ain't going nowhere. He ain't taking no breaks He ain't doing none of that. Yeah, hold on right quick. Let me get me a more She jumped in here cuz when the people do these right here Super chat God bless you. They'll they'll disappear on me. Mr. Gaskins I found a condom in my boyfriend's bedroom when I asked him he said He had with another woman when we broke up Your opinion Well, I mean that's for you to know you cuz it's a lot of details left out of there So is it y'all was broke up for a week? You came back after a weekend or y'all was broke up some months ago So see that's what you got to figure out right there But if it ain't yours and it ain't come out of out of it y'all didn't use it then You already know what that mean you already know what that mean Listen to me. One thing I could tell is A woman's intuition In dating it's never been wrong ain't never been wrong about me But one thing we could do as men we could tell a quick live and we could flip that do that jet-op mind trick on you And flip it on you make you feel crazy and you'll believe it But when your intuition tells you something Unless you own drugs and all this and you going through stuff mentally emotionally Your intuition is not lying. I hate to say it. I hate that minute. It ain't lying you know um Now y'all hold on on these questions now. Let me see You said 36 months of dating is the max to give a man does this timetable also apply for couples of 40 years old Yeah, it don't mean you rush just cuz you older, you know It's still old fools, you know, so just cuz you older don't mean oh We need to get married in six months or 12 months. It just come with dating, you know But when I say 36 is the max what I mean by that is I'm really making a concession for those of you who Are a little weaker, you know, because really what I wanna say Is by 12 months a man should be proposing to you by the 12 month mark and y'all should be married By the 24 month mark the reason why I make some concessions is just because I see how people live their life And I see people dating for five years seven years 10 years 15 years, so that's why I say 36 months just trying to give a little extra room But a man knows a man knows inside of 12 months if you're his wife And if he's mature and he's ready it really don't even take 36 months I just say that for those of y'all who's not gonna listen anyway, so They give you a little bit more time Now let me see Cheyenne, thank you so much. Thank you for the blessing Now y'all hold on now caramel kisses gave him a cash out. You know, I really want to thank everybody When caramel kisses send my cash out, but I don't know how she got it Maybe she asked me but I thank everybody. I mean people send me a lady sent me 50 dollars A lady sent me 50 dollars. I don't want to say your name on put your business all locked up In case some case one of your family members watching this and they asked you to borrow some money And you told me you didn't have it a lady sent me 50 dollars on cash out that thing right there bless me You hear me? And I just I really appreciate that now some people and some people Send me a dollar that don't matter, you know, that means something that means something to me, you know I know People look at it a certain way, but hey I appreciate it because what it says to me it doesn't say Tony you need this money They say Tony, you know, thank you and that's how I read it. So I thank y'all How do you support an incarcerated individual? Emotionally Send them a paperback bible That's what you got to do. Send them a paperback bible That's all the emotional sport. You're not jesus. You're not god. So you can't support somebody Emotionally because that's that's on that person So you can't be trying to keep the commissary full Trying to send Nasty pictures trying to Run up your phone bill five dollars for them collect calls every day all day 15 minutes for five dollars You know all of that you that's not keeping nobody emotional and I'm gonna tell you when they be in there, you know I look at it like this. Look, you did the crime. You need to do the time And you back there for a reason So sit back there and let god talk to you let god reach you. Okay You need to be reading your bible. You need to be praying and let god reach let god reach you So don't don't try to be god You know, let let them sit in there and thank let them feel it. They'd be all right They find them something to smoke. They find them. They get in a gambling game card game They get they they get in the stuff in there. You don't you don't need no emotional sport need jesus I've been mooching For long enough time to join the blessed tribe couldn't join while dating but now my boyfriend know I listen to you I can comment Hey, god bless you. God bless you. Thank you for your your gift right there. God bless you Now I tell y'all the truth now and I'll tell y'all the truth. I Still ain't going to get that iPhone 11. My wife got it. That thing looks so good but I but so I'm planning to do it. I just gotta take the time to get on up there So this could maybe get a little clearer On here and I get some more battery life. I got the x or the 10, whatever you call it That's why I'm gonna have to go tonight come a battery gonna die on me. This thing be dying Raffiella. Hey, thank you. God bless you. Let me see where you at And we got new members. My boyfriend has been ignoring me. Should I reach out or let him come to me when he's ready I don't want to seem desperate You asking the wrong question raffiella because If your boyfriend ignoring you you need to be putting your track shoes on and doing a sprint in the other direction You can't let a man ignore you and then pop up in your life when he ready That means you a handmade that means you a concubine That means use a jump off If he want to ignore you then let him get to know his self And you go get to know you so then you could then Get to know somebody else You hear me don't ever let a man put you on ice and have you holding on waiting Ebony j. Thank you so much. God bless you because when a man A man running in and out of your life Because you standing still And if you let a man just have you sitting there waiting And and he can come back when he wants to come back and you still sitting there. That's desperate That's desperate. You'd be better off reaching out and trying to have a closure conversation Versus just sitting there waiting till he come back because he's he come back and you still sitting there I remember a long time ago I heard a man say he said listen So if I knock you down Uh This Wednesday if I knock you down this Wednesday. That's shame on me But if I come back next Wednesday and you still down that's shame on you So that's shame on him. He left you in the first place if he come back and you still sitting there Like, oh, yeah, I'm just here. I'm waiting on you. You you the you god's gift to women and I'm just a piece of trash just Fortunate and lucky to have you in my life. So I'm just sitting here waiting on you to come back and give me some attention That's how he's gonna treat you like a piece of trash Because he said look, you don't even know who you are. You don't even know your word I could just walk out on you and you just sit there and I come back and you still sitting there Guess what? He's gonna do you like that for the rest of your life when he come back the locks need to be changed Your hairstyle need to be changed. You need to have some new outfits. You need to have new past shoes And do them like the wale song new phone. Who this It you you you can have the same number In the same phone and when he writes your response to him, sorry, I got a new phone. Who is this? Just just so you can feel it What do guys think about a woman? Who goes to bars Sporting events alone. Does it look desperate? Now a bar now a bar you look a little desperate in a bar Now if you talk about buffalo wild wings That is not a bar and that don't look desperate, but if you go to a bar Like what you see in the movies Yes, you look desperate. You look desperate. So Don't go to a bar go to Okay, like a restaurant bar like buffalo wild wings. Okay, that's not a bar then A bar the little small thing the little hole in the wall and you walk in there Or the or even the big ones but they sell beer and it's a bar But if you go into a restaurant even buffalo wild wing chilies Stuff like that what she say millers. Yeah, that that's stuff right there. That's you know, that's different That's a restaurant and sporting events. You don't look desperate. You look secure. You look secure. You look sound. You look strong Hey, instead of me trying to scroll way up when y'all hear me start talking then post your question just like right here Well, I'm on uh Sadrisha Sadrisha, okay Sadrisha your daddy name saddrick And if your daddy name saddrick Hey, if his name not said you got a beautiful name if his name said you tell him he played too much Um, buddy man shoulder. Do y'all like that? Won't we we'll have you georgina Frankisha Hey brother, you done videos on how you fell in love with your wife Cook one day you and your wife do alive and she talked about how she fell in love with you Yeah, I asked her to come on here tonight, but she said man. She should have told me or lane did my hair I need to put on some makeup But um, but yeah, we're gonna do we're gonna do live my wife. She just She has no desire to be a speaker. She has no desire to be a teacher She has no desire to do any of that. So She she loved being a wife and a mother. She don't want to be in no limelight So I don't try to force her because a lot. I know there's a lot of guys do it I'm said Rika. I find your question a lot of guys do it because A woman will help you make more money So you'll see a lot of couples do stuff together Me me and my wife we weren't even planning to write a book together publisher asked us to do that That's a publisher idea and I'll tell you something about this is The reason why we are the way we are is because it's real love. I hate to knock people that do it the other way around but when you always got your relationship front street Out there and you showing it off and you monetizing love when you monetize love you come under heavy attack From the enemy from the adversary and you never know when you're going to be weak and when you're going to meet your match And you setting yourself up for failure when you're showing everything telling everything For the entertainment and the pleasure of the people when those same people Be bad mouthing you if you fall under attack and you slip up or something go wrong in your marriage them same people Who was asking to know all your business will also be cheering in your downfall So one thing about me and my wife. We don't force any interaction. We don't do nothing for the ground You we take a picture when we go on a date night, but we're not trying to do a photo shoot every day We're not trying to come on here and do all these talks. We keep it real natural real organic I don't even want to be on here, but it's my caller So I have to be here. So that's why I don't force her to come on and force her to You know show face and and talking all that to try to make it look real to try to make it look like something You know More than what it is because that's not her calling and not her thing. So Y'all gonna see her You know when she get ready when she feel this time It's probably gonna be closer towards our book because then it's kind of like, you know It makes sense She helped me write a book and so she's gonna want to share a little bit but Nothing about my wife too is she's just She's just real, you know, she real she raw. She don't know how to play up to no camera You know, she's just gonna call it like she said and some of the stuff She say might be too real for a lot of women a lot of women might look at and be like, oh, okay I'm still up on my toes because she carried herself The complete opposite of of 99 percent Of women that I see in the world today. That's so heavily influenced by the social media. So, you know She gonna be It's gonna be a little something to where You're gonna you might feel a little way if you still, you know, drinking too much or cursing or smoking or If anybody if y'all in the nasty movies if you okay with your man going to the club to the strip club You're gonna feel a way about my wife because she ain't into none of that. She's straight and narrow I mean, she's straight and narrow. She about business I don't she don't give me no excuses. No concessions. It's no like, oh you can Go do this. Go do that. So really when you hear my wife talk and how she run things and how she how she live her life You're gonna feel If you out there and you desperate for a man or you giving a man too much It's gonna step on your toes at first You know, so I want y'all to understand that when the queen come from behind the curtain You know, I've been talking to a body. I'm like, baby. Come on now when we get out here Now you got to learn how to word stuff because she just you know, she ain't used to this and I know how people will get Hey, Tony, I really have a desire to generate a healthy amount for myself and two boys It seemed like I keep staying at a lower level and not winning. I have a great work ethic. What is your advice? Um, I'll tell you this sometimes you got to you know, invest in yourself in the sense of Get coaching, you know, get coaching one thing that I'm doing right now. I wasn't expecting to do this But there's been a lot of people hiring me to um Do business consulting and I'm helping them with their website. I'm helping them identify their gifts I'm helping them build their brand. I'm helping with with their book with their courses and all of those things Renee shepherd. God bless you. God bless you And so you have to take a little piece of your income Even if it's just 10% And just invest that into yourself, you know, so on tonigasinsacademy.com I have um entrepreneurship with purpose course The birthday book course a lot a lot of courses out there everything that I do I turn it into a course to try to help others Because I know when I was getting started there were no courses. There were nobody telling This the business telling the secrets on how to you know Tap into your gifts and use your gifts to earn extra income So I I do that Let me see Gabriela. Hey god bless you. If you make a video on how to remain guarded um I don't know if that's what I would call it and It's not about being guarded. It's really And I know in some one video I made a I did a Thing about, you know, how you come in and you might have your guards up and then you go to peek in and then they go to coming down and coming down and coming down, but um It's not about being guarded. It's more so about having the knowledge Tonya joy and god bless you. I really appreciate you having the knowledge you need So that you can have confidence so that you can see the red flags when they arise So that you can see them and you can recognize it So that way you don't have to be guarded in the sense of bitter and broken And and just you know shine away pushing men away You just got to be enlightened to the point where you can read the man and you can see the red flags And that is really your guarded. That's really your protection is the new knowledge Hi, Tony. I divorced my wife and I am willing to put the work in to get our marriage back I made the biggest mistake of our lives And want us to heal thoughts um Timothy, you know, I would recommend you sign up for coaching Now everybody y'all could visit my mentor dot life my mentor dot life It's a bunch of coaches on there. You can go on there. You could select marriage divorce Coaches you'll see them come up and Yesterday some coaches missed their session, but y'all bear with them and just rescheduled on right in. Oh, get my refine Because it's a new email going to them and it may not, you know It may go to their spam But you need to do tent coaching timothy and I specifically say now my rate is higher than most coaches and It's because of you know, how long I've been doing it So I go up over time and so What I would challenge you on timothy is If you do the work to get your wife back Are you telling me that you will never hurt her again? That you will that you know for a fact you can love her until death does you part Without making the same mistakes the biggest mistakes of your lives Again, and that's one issue with men is a lot of time We want to get our woman back because our heart is hurting We call it our heart, but really it's our ego And we're afraid to start over we're afraid to build with somebody new and we want to get her back But yet we have not done the work to truly learn the root cause of why we did what we did in the first place You you spent zero dollars on coaching You know we spend zero dollars on counseling or therapy and we just want to You know cater to the woman sending flowers and begging and pleading and ooh, baby, ooh, ooh But didn't do the work. So what happened is you'll mess around and trick her back into a relationship And then end up It's what you got to realize you could be strong on your own for the first two years, but what about year five What about five years from now? What about 10 years from now? What tools would you have put in and what you have added to your life to renew your mind and change your your life From the inside out and the worst thing you can do is try to convince a woman to come back and Convince a woman to come back and then you hurt her again. That's the worst thing you could do You messing up your life. You messing up her life. You have to keep going Hi, we have one kid both 28 he wants to co-habitate not me no marriage no engagement already communicated my wants no action only talk Needed vice Tony been together since 17 Latina I had to turn the comments off on one of my old videos Not long ago. It was an old video From my podcast it wasn't a video And I had to turn the comments off because the holy rollers in there, you know, the holy rollers in there Timothy she don't need coaching you need coaching you do the coaching you do the coaching, okay You do your coaching And you pay for four to twelve sessions for you Then you pay for her coaching four to twelve sessions for her Then if it's recommended by the coach y'all come together you made the mistake now You broke the marriage so you need the help she probably already know how to love And but she also need coaching because she needs to be able to vent and talk about what she's feeling and what she's going through And I tempted popped up on me and that Open off my question. That's what I need question be popping up And what the lady said What I was just talking about Oh, the one kid. Okay. Let me focus. Y'all don't post no question right now. Hold on. Let me focus on latina question Your name latina now. That's like a latino, ain't it latino? Okay Okay Latina now now, let me help you understand something This is the thing and this and and Let me help you all christians understand something how I have to answer these questions If a person in fornication Obviously their conviction for christ is not that strong So me throwing christianese at somebody who is not convicted by christ or the word of god is a waste of my breath And a waste of all our time So understand this I speak to people where they are Versus just throwing all my beliefs on them and some bible thumpers can't understand that You can't just be talking christianese the people who don't speak that So, let me tell you what you went what you did wrong latina and this is what everybody here got to understand Is you got to understand now over my thoughts. We just said hold the questions. Okay And now here you go and you already asked a question. Okay Now y'all let me talk the latina now So this what you got to understand when you Lie down You took and you Told him That you want to put the cart before the horse You told him that you wanted to Trap him with a baby. Okay, that you want to go there Instead of doing it the proper way So it's hard to put the cart before the horse and then say, okay, let's get on our journey Let's do this the right way. Let's go in the right direction So now you try to undo Everything you didn't talk him And and he's like hold on now you just can't flip the script now you was cool with this for indication You were cool with all this Not too long ago Now that we didn't reproduce now you want to flip the script and start calling other shots And so now he's like, hold on you can't can't do that And so that's where you're going to run into some issues So what you have to realize is if you have had a change of heart and you've outgrown him And y'all are not married then you have to be willing to come to the point to walk away You got to be willing to walk away Now the good book advises that if you were both Non-believers and you got married and then you become a believer Not to leave because you could be the one who leads him to god But if you were not a believer and he's not a believer meaning y'all ain't living it And y'all don't have a conviction about doing it. God's way then Y'all was on the same page. Y'all were equally yoke. And so now you you flip in the script because you on here learning and growing And he's staying still So what you have to do is you will have to pull back And then let him catch up Let when you pull back meaning you go stay somewhere else So you stay where you at and you kind of cut off communication the only communication is about You know y'all love one that you brought into the world Then he like whoa, hold on what's going on like you ain't where you where you were I ain't got you how I want you I ain't got you how I had you what I what do I need to do Then you like listen, I done told you like that's a deal breaker for me. We we both made mistakes. I made a mistake I've grown I've changed You're gonna have to get with the program or I got to get gone because I refuse to continue living like this I did that in my ignorance. I did that, you know, and I'm not doing it anymore So you're gonna have to make that change like that And if he's not willing to change and grow, he's telling you He's telling you that you're not the one So let me see. I'm gonna try to scroll up to another question or y'all can Okay, oh my toss didn't came in here with her another question This is I'm gonna get my money's worth on this blessed tribe How do you differentiate a soul tie from a soul mate? I think he may be the one But he has a lot of things personal growing to do A a soul tie is just an emotional connection with somebody Which is a spiritual connection A soul tie could be with somebody that you despise it could be with somebody you don't even like A soul tie could be with anybody you've lied down with And everybody you've lied down with you have a soul tie even if it doesn't actively affect you today You have a soul tie with every person you've ever got in the bed with You also can have a soul tie meaning an emotional connection To someone that you did not get in the bed with And so understand that now see a soul mate a soul mate is not found A soul mate is created So what this means is a soul mate is a person that you get with And the two of you make love to one another's mind you learn each other You serve each other you give and you receive meaning you're given and the other is reciprocating And you connect on a spiritual level emotional level now that is a soul mate So you can have a soul tie with any and everybody But a soul mate is a person that you give your all to and they give their all to you You don't have a soul mate on the first date. That's not a soul mate Y'all might be connected in the universe based on how the stars align when you was born all of that stuff That that y'all believe in all of that might feel good But a soul mate that takes time that takes work that takes building that takes really having a A real connection So let me see the next question or somebody got a question ready Open my ties and put her question in here again Copy and pasting over there Could you done could you do a video on guys in jail? Somebody asked me about somebody in jail. I'm and I'll tell y'all like this and I hate be this way but As a man I do not recommend dating a man in jail unless y'all was all ready together and then he goes to jail I don't recommend y'all Dating somebody that's in jail. Now if he was already your man when you go in jail Then you might need to That might be your time to separate if you know, he ain't the man you need that that might be destiny Giving you your opportunity to move on with life But other than that you can't believe nothing a man say in jail And when you in there with talking to them walls And somebody trying to get in your walls And you worrying about commissary and you just trying to get enough money Anything to get you a hamburger about that machine And to get you some noodles you're going to tell a woman anything She want to heal to send you a little piece of change Every month how you on a regular schedule to get you some money you telling everything and a lot of men go to jail And get you know fake saving there. They know all the scriptures And then come out and act like Treat you like casper that goes get out and Come and touch you a few times and then right on to the next and you didn't sat there and waited faithfully You didn't send thousands of dollars over the period of time You didn't did all of this and then man come out and and he don't know He don't bit more know you than the woman on the moon And so i'm trying to tell you like this right here Unless that was your man before he went in there And he was in love with you and you would in love with them with him and he treated you like a queen And he went in there for defending you or one of y'all You know cheering unless he went in there for something like that Then After la vista that this destiny is telling us it's time because you want to be in the streets You want to be in all this criminal activity? I'm gonna let you have that and i'm finna go on here And I hate to say that because I got a lot of brothers locked down, but It just is what it is. I got to tell the truth and shame the devil How do you stop thinking about it x it's been a few years since we've been together, but I still think about him From time to time i'm copying and pasting too. Um You're not going to stop thinking about him until you replace enough of those brain patterns and You know brain cells with new knowledge So what's going to happen is the most the more you learn the more you understand about the relationship that you had So then you're going to be able to take that relationship and you're going to be able to label it And you're going to be able to say, okay, that was lust. Okay, that was that was control. That was manipulation. That was deception that was financial abuse that was emotional abuse that was This and that and you can label it and now you have an understanding of it And so now you can move forward with your life But if you sit in a place of not understanding because you're not getting new knowledge You're not watching the videos reading the books going to the seminars Then you'll sit and continue and the way the brain works is it it starts to self soothe and it starts to heal the wounds Meaning it starts to remember things better than it actually was and you will start to remember all of the good times And be reminiscing and you'll forget the reason why you why it fell apart You'll forget why it didn't even work You'll forget all the pain because you'll be focused on the good thing that happened So I want y'all to think about that Sherry, thank you for posting the book and y'all do my favor now and the new book is called a woman's influence Make sure you pre-order it and remember to authorize your card But it won't charge your card right now. It'll fall off in a couple days and then it'll reauthorize it the day before the book releases So understand that Guy recently divorced has custody of two sons recently got really busy looking for new house and in school He was really interested in the beginning but seems preoccupied. Is it too soon? Or wasting my time Going back to life going back to life When I tell y'all Barak got time for Michelle Gone about your life When I tell you I got 11 companies and over 50 streams of income and I still spend time with my wife every day When a man won't you he'll move the moon the sun and the stars to get to you When he too busy for you, you got to be too busy for him and gone about your life What is the best way to keep a cordial relationship with a guy? Who you have to work with But you aren't interested in and you don't want to be ruled only professional Um, you can't wear you can't worry about people feelings You can't worry about a special of wrong man and that you ain't did nothing wrong too Just hey and bye, you know, just hey and bye anything he crossed over that you're gonna just stop him writing this track Just hit him with that Just hit him with that You spoke on men's character. I have good men interested in me, but they're not men of godly character Am I wrong to overlook good men because I want a man of godly character Um, no, you're not wrong. You're not wrong at all and to be honest with you I don't believe in a good man without god, you know, I don't believe in character without god, you know and People call god different stuff me I read the holy bible and I know it's other books out there that people read but me personally Me being a man, I know the nature of a man and if a man is not surrendered to god I can't trust him you a woman I'm a man. So I could you know, put the hands on you hit me I could hit him with a one two left right uppercut everything And I don't deal with men who don't know god. I don't do business with him I don't I'm not I talk to him now and I try to you know, be a light for him But I ain't doing business with him I'm not hanging out going out here and there and all of that because If you ain't surrendered to god, I can't trust you I can't trust you because man just ain't good enough on his own. We we just We we we file creatures. We born in the sin I got over my ex by watching all 200 something of tonic videos on youtube. His course is no lie Not to marry you ain't on here lying now. You watch all that mini video God bless you. God bless you Hey, it worked though. I told you now It worked Listen, we have to be willing to let go majority of the time we wait for the man to do so When we know That we know that we know leave it It only get now window and just hit y'all with a word now Now don't nobody don't nobody else try to go to start preaching now But a man of what window and said she telling the truth Oh lord my finger I'm dragging. How do deadbeat dads have friends? And your friends because he's deadbeat That's how because it deadbeat I'm I Be honest with I don't fully understand that kind of man I couldn't bring a child in the world and be a deadbeat. I just I don't feel it Understand it tilt for women dating in their 40s If you're in your 40s as a woman that means that you you're older and you wiser You're not 20 no more. So you can learn at a faster rate Faster clip things out the sink in deeper it off the stick longer And so you ought to be more stoop more on top of your game more able to read through things More able to recognize red flags. So you date the same way and this is the thing Eyes open and legs closed point blank period Eyes open legs closed Get out the house create your routine to get out the house. So you need to get out the house You need to be How you somewhere to go work starbucks bars and know where you need to be a part of a meet-up Dot com group you need to be a part of the life groups at church You need to have your daily routine you need to have a gym routine You need to have your starbucks routine where you sit in there for two hours a week Working on your dream and your goals on your laptop or your iPad And you need to be out the house you need to be moving and shaking getting and going And you're going to start bumping into people Now here's the thing that's called positioning. So you need you could be positioned, but you also need to be prepared What I mean by that is brain brand body the three B's that I talk about in my book Mrs Wright You need to have your mind sharp doing what you're doing right now getting new knowledge You need to have your brand on point meaning create something that you cannot be fired from Even if it's just a blog people making a living from from a blog and in your body You need to have you three times a week that you in the gym, but you need to work out 30 minutes a day And you need to be eating right and you need to be working out and if you're doing that guess what? Stuff gonna work on it's gonna work out and you step out the house You literally could walk from your front door to your mailbox and meet your husband if you don't focus on them three B's I pretty much watched them all I have to check to make sure But he has helped me not be naive and to self reflect raise my standards. Hey, god bless you for watching the videos I really appreciate you Carmen savage. Thank you. Thank you so much for your gift. What about dating a man who had a record and multiple kids yet? Connection is insane. You see in his actions He will do anything and already calls you his wife. Let me tell you this Let me tell you this You need to get to nikey.com right now and get you the most expensive power track shoes that they make Get them overnighted on prime And put them on tomorrow And you need to take off running as fast as you can run and don't Stop don't stretch Don't do nothing. You hear me what you just described to me listen to me now You hear me? I'm a man. You just described the scariest man in the world. You hear me? and record Multiple kids already calling you his wife And will do anything remember now what that anything means so Do anything meaning if he mad he'll do anything right now. He glad Okay, connection is insane. Okay. You need to accidentally use that word insane I know about that connection. You know why that connection so good because he good at wooing and fooling Women he got the juice the sauce the oil You hear what i'm telling you? He knows what he's doing and let me tell you what this man will do This man will have you on your bike. He will throw your bike out of place You hear me? You will be hypnotized Demotized magnetized All the ties you hear me and he will ride you till your ties fall off You will empty your bank account for that man You will this on your chair for that man You will cut off your family for that man and that man will use you high and dry He didn't get a record for being good. Okay. He got a record for breaking crimes He break crimes and he break laws He break hearts. I meant to say he break laws and he break hearts. You hear me? You better run tonight play with it if you want to And you're going to be in somebody's a same solemn And you're going to end up going broke during coaching sessions every single day with me Because listen here I was not no little bit of money But I don't coach a lot of women in your place and they have to do session after session after session after session But guess what if i'm on that phone with you away from my wife and minds Hey We got to swipe the card and guess what it's going to be costly you deal with that man right there Listen to what i'm telling you I ain't never been wrong about this. He'll not listen that man right there. You got to run Can you do a video on discovering purpose? Also, were you and your wife walking in purpose when y'all met? No, we were not walking in purpose. We were on the way to purpose We didn't know what purpose was my wife was 19. I was 21. So we didn't really understand fully understand purpose And on discovering your purpose, um I'll do a video on that sometime but What in the brand is tell you to talk about what people come to you for So I'm considering one day I may have to start another channel to talk about, you know purpose and Purpose entrepreneurship and business and things in the purpose realm because As you see 99 of my questions are relationship questions. So I don't I don't Be wanting to venture too far in other arenas talking about stuff that only you want to hear about now You can sign up for a one-on-one session But I know there's a few other people that don't want to hear about that. So when I run out of topics I might you know throw that in there But I will tell you this real quick purpose is rooted in service So what that means is you got to identify your pain identify your pain Because that's typically where you want to serve at your pain your mistakes your paths So wherever you've been hurt, there's somebody who's being hurt where you have been hurt And you can serve there if that's a soup kitchen if that's working with a nonprofit if that's starting a nonprofit If that's serving in somebody else's nonprofit You know that's purpose like what caramel kiss is doing She's serving because she's working helping me helping other people. That's purpose purpose is always rooted in service Baby daddy doesn't want to be with me anymore Hated fam said my sister touched him also claimed to talk to my ex best friend Now who he said he never knew also found the Download craigslist email two years ago said was hacked Yes, you got to run You got to run says drop your phone. Just drop your phone says don't even pay your next phone bill You need to run you hear me run block his number. Don't answer another text. Don't answer another call Raise yours by yourself if you got to get wick if you got to get foods now If you got to do a gold fund me don't send it to me But send it to your friend and family if you got to do a gold fund me, you hear me Move on with your life. Listen to me. You found a download craigslist email. He told me he got hacked Man, I'm people hacking ain't checking for him He ain't now Trying to look for some sausage patty. You hear me? You better run. You better run because if you play with it You're gonna come up with that heel And it's a lot of that is not that is not to play with it. It's a lot of people that have been uh unfortunate to be dealing with somebody and you you You can't play with it. You can't play with and when a man tells you he don't want you Okay, thank you what you need to tell a man or a woman if it's a man listening Somebody tell you they don't want you. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. That's all you need to say You ain't got to tell me twice get gone You said get gone. Don't don't wait. Don't sniff Don't blink Just leave trust me when I tell you because when somebody tells you they don't want you and you stay They about to make you pay They about to make you pay. Listen to what i'm telling you Hey, thank you ronda. I really appreciate your support. Thank you Uh tomorrow I had to step away not sure if my question was answered Is it is a man turned off by a woman who is straightforward and blunt not aggressive though? No, not at all not turned off at all Actually, a man would really really appreciate that and that's what more women need to be It's straightforward and blunt without cursing without yelling without being derogatory demeaning condescending but just being real Because you see how I talk I ain't putting no punches. I ain't cutting no corners. I'm coming right at you. That's how men are That's how we get talked to by our fathers by our uncle by our brother by our coaches By our school teachers. So men is used to straight talk There's so many women coming and saying well Well, how do I tell a man this? Uh, you tell him you just sit down and tell him. There ain't no special way Yeah, you got the No four page letter. You just sit down and tell him What is is and that's what he's going to respect But so many women beating around the bush tiptoeing walking on eggshells a man can respect that you got to realize when you're dealing with a man You're dealing with a different type of human. Okay? So you got to come Right at it you you came you came play with it Hey, Tony, you're the best. I thank you very much. I've been with a man five years Four kids he does everything a husband would do Bought me a house pays bills great with the kids, but won't commit am I wasting my time? That's a tough one and my heart goes out to you and see this is stuff I get put on right here and I have to deal with that there and You know, it sounds like he might be from a different culture or or a certain belief system but And so you got to look at what you want now and here's the thing But in this not even for you really is really for everybody else who's not in that situation yet Listen, this is what I keep telling y'all come to the table like a boss You got to come to the table like a boss You got to come to the table with what you want. You got to have your terms So the hard part about this is you five years and four kids in It's hard to flip the script on a man and say, oh, now let's get married. He's like, hold on We five years four kids in how about your house? I'm paying all these bills We married like what that piece of paper gonna do for us. That's how he's thinking So you got to realize okay. Well, what is that piece of paper gonna do for me? Like do you have a spiritual conviction? Like did you get saved and now you want to live righteous? If that's the case, okay, I get it But what you have to also realize this what I want everybody to realize Is that there is a consequence for your choice? You have freedom Of choices But you don't have freedom of consequence So when you choose To put the car before the horse There's gonna be some consequences So what that means is when you choose to lie down with a man And do married folks things And you are not married You're gonna be Faced with a decision to make and that is to settle for what you chose to get into Or to stick by your standards and to move on with your life Listen I'm telling y'all So for everybody who's not in that situation Come up with your Stipulation your standards now Okay, we got a little drama Okay, Krusta you coming in here Telling Timothy business Come on out Krusta you could have sent me an email I knew Timothy was on I I admit to ask Timothy Timothy Is the woman you trying to get back? Watching this live and you know she watching this live. So you trying to come interrupt her Space and her piece of growth Now let me and I was I need to leave I'm supposed to be getting off here in three seconds But now I got to get crystal Sometimes your name crystal crystal crystal crystal. Okay crystal Tony I'm the ex to Timothy And I tried to make it work Got the pastors involved He still didn't want to try One week before the divorce he wanted to try I signed the papers. How do I know he is sincere? He's sincere keep going keep going Keep going Tim things and see I felt like Timothy and he'll play a game I felt like Timothy wasn't on here for himself Timothy on here because he'd know you on here Now Timothy, that's what I'm trying to tell you this woman tried to give you all the time in the world This woman tried to make it work She didn't got the pastors involved and see this the problem with me and right now this last thing I'm addressing I got to go and listen to me now I got to go and Timothy I tried to tell you man. Come on man. Come on man Fellows listen to me. Y'all got to stop playing this game Stop pushing the woman to the edge Stop pushing her to the edge and then you want to do too little too late When you had every chance in the world to do right But see this what it is is We want a woman to change for us. We want a woman to stoop to our level and let her be who We want the woman to Be who we are. We want the woman to come and do what we want her to do You say I'm saying and then you can't do that you can't let the woman come And try to do all of this trying to get it right And then you ignore it and you pushing or pushing or pushing her then When it's too little too late Now you want to take and you want to Oh, I gotta make it right. I gotta make it work. Oh, I want to get a bite when you had all of that time Come on, bro. You can't play with people heart like that Because if you push a woman to her breaking point, you don't deserve the woman You don't deserve the woman my wife had to tell me one time when I was 23 years old Tony you got to get out them streets. I said, no, I ain't getting out on the street I said, no, I ain't getting out on the street. I'm staying in the street. Guess what my woman came home She had her hand up on the tail. Her face was red. She had her glasses on. She was holding her baba. I said, oh lord I know what this means When your nose turned red and your glasses on and you were contacts and you got your hand up on the tail And you wear your hair down You've been in warfare. You've been in prayer I'm through for She left that night and when she left guess what? It took me three days to change my life. You hear me? She never had to tell me again She didn't have to tell me again. I said, I'm not gonna play with this woman. I was 23 years old Now here come your ex come in here and say listen, Tony I don't went to the pastors on this man. I done did all of this I try to get a chance out of chan and then a week before the divorce He want to say he want me back man. You playing a vicious game You playing a vicious game man, and you got to grow up. You got to work on you, bro You got to work on you. You got to and guess what? You got to deal with your consequences So become a better man for the next woman Become a better man for the next woman and treat her like a queen And and christena made her choice. She say I'm finna be done. I got I got to go, you know, so guess what? Chris say she got to go so let her go let her go She might regret it one day if you become a great man But guess what? She lived with her choice and she'll become a great woman and y'all ain't meant for each other But if you got to be married and you got to go through divorce to learn what you had You don't deserve what you had. You don't deserve what you had. That's why I always say listen You know good and well what you were doing because you're a grown man with plenty sense You know good and well what you were doing man So listen here if you got to make a woman divorce you for you to realize what you had you You know what you had and you took it for granted and now you don't deserve it Not somebody else deserve her not a man who's going to see her value and respect her and appreciate her Deserve her that what you got to realize man And that's why I do the work that I do because I was that man I was that man But listen to me what i'm trying to tell you is that you're going to go through hell and hot water That is going to be a lot of pain out there for you when you taking god daughter When you taking god daughter and you treating her like your footstool You treating her like a floor mat you taking her for granted and yes, she ain't perfect. Yes. She ain't perfect Yes, she probably did some stuff. Yes. She probably you know had her love faults and all that too, but Obviously she was a good woman if you want a bag after she had a divorce And when she tried to get you some help and this what I try to tell y'all ladies This is what I try to tell y'all I try to help y'all understand it So listen to me when I tell y'all not probably miss my fight tonight man my fight on the out YouTube was fighting and I'm gonna miss my fight listen listen listen what i'm trying to tell y'all This is why I try to help y'all understand when you go on espn And you look at the poker tournament what you see a man a table full of men You see a table full of men you hear me You know why you see a table full of men because ain't nobody got a better poker face than a man Ain't nobody got a better poker face. So this is what I try to tell y'all When you say this is who I am and this is what I want to do and this how I'm gonna live my life I'm saving myself till marriage. Um, this that and the third when you say all of this that man say, okay Boom, I'm finna test you. I'm finna try you and I'm finna see I'm finna see what you bought and that man will take you all the way down to the wire He will take you all the way down to the wire. You hear me Just to see if you bought that light just to see if you bought what you say you bought You hear me and If and and here's the thing most women get scared Most women get scared and they say, oh my goodness. He's gonna leave. Oh my goodness I'm gonna lose him. Oh my goodness. He's gonna leave. I'm gonna lose him. Oh my goodness What's gonna happen? And so then boom You take and you compromise You compromise your self-worth you compromise your self-respect and then he got you When if you just would have stood your ground You about to break his back and he was gonna have to grow and he was gonna have to change but So just like chris the chris went all the way through with that thing and she signed them papers She signed them papers on them. She said man, you done played me like a fool. You try me like a baser You got me messed up here go She put that cinch on that paper hip Man get going man. I ain't got no time for this And that's what you got to do. That's what you got to do Because because i'm trying to take I tried to call my wife bluff And you know why I tried to call my wife bluff because we had just got married Our son had just came into the world two months ago. She had just quit her job So now i'm the only income You just got married you're gonna got married as a as a sophomore or a junior in college You from jewmaker so your parents did not come from jewmaker to america for you to be On your bike in college Get pregnant and then Having a child and getting married before you get your college degree Just what i'm thinking. So i'm like, oh, I got you. I got you. You ain't got nobody turned to but me So I thought that I'm thinking I had a trap And guess what she showed me I got something for you. I'm out of here. No job newborn Two year two month old marriage. I'm gone I say what? What she taught me was what she taught me Is it don't matter how deep you take me? You will not drown me Because I taught myself how to swim She taught me that although I'm off my job for our son That we just got married that we living together That my friends and turn they back on me my parents and turn they back on me Although that may seem like it's the case. I'm finna show you something and when she left I say wow my god I say boy, I got to get right and so I change I changed my life just like that So that's what you ladies got to understand when you stand in your ground and you're doing what you know, right the man know The man know that you're doing right But he's not ready to change so he want to break you down so that you do what he wants you to do And and the reason why I tell the truth like it is is I don't pick sides You come on you watch my videos any given day and twice on sunday anybody could get it Sometimes I'm coming at the woman about what she need to be doing And sometimes I'm coming at the man about what he need to be doing. I'ma call it like it is I'ma umpire. I just call it like I see it. I don't take sides. I don't pick sides I just was right is right was wrong is wrong Point blank period and so that's how you got to get this when you coming over here And that's what I want you all to understand because you know, why I say this is because Our life on the line Our whole life on the line, you know, everything So that's what you got to realize. Hey, I don't talk too long I don't went 10 minutes over my wife told me she said man, you always talk about an hour You finna get on there and be two hours, man Uh, but we got to spend a little time together before this hell Hey, make sure You click the link in the description for My mentor dot life Go on there Everybody need a coach. Make sure you book your session. This coach is on there for 25 hours an hour Go on there book your session. I'm on there too. But you know, my pay rate a little different But I want y'all to make sure you get your coach to help you get through 2020 if you work with one and they ain't all that good. Okay. I didn't really know what they was doing Okay, find another Find another keep going till you get the coach that you will be able to talk to Talk about your dreams write out your goals And and do all of that, you know, somebody says she's going to book Shannon yep, shannon who in the blessed tribe is on my mentor dot life if you are a coach Consultant or mentor you can join my mentor dot life. You just need a good headshot That's my only thing. I ask you have a good headshot Do not take no picture No self in your front seat or your car and thank somebody for the pay you they hard earned money You could just stand you stand you in front of your wall okay and Put your camera on portrait mode And have somebody take a picture of you and use that as your headshot on my mentor The website is my mentor dot life not calm dot life. That's a new Dot my mentor dot life Keanu god bless you god bless you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your time and gift I pray that more of us ladies are not only able to receive these messages, but also apply Thank you so much. Keanu god bless you. I know you're doing good in your life Oh, I don't know what you finance that but that's a that's a show enough blessing that you just sent my way God bless you What's it supposed to say get your profile picture together now Hey y'all, thank you so much and thank you to all the new members who joined the blessed tribe um You know, I like I would love to celebrate milestones and stuff like that, but I'm still scarred You know about where I come from and where I come from People just ain't happy for you. People ain't happy for your success So I come on here and I see Caucasians on here and they could they could tell you how much they youtube make And and everybody in the comments. Oh, congrats. Congrats. But if you come from somewhere like where I'm come from You can't tell people, you know, what you make and Celebrate your milestones because people don't be happy for you. So I just You know, I thank y'all for the support Join me in the blessed tribe keeping the channel going because a lot of stuff I say is too real It's too real for youtube. So what that happens is they'll strike the video. They'll strike it. They'll demonetize it So with y'all being in the blessed tribe that helps me a lot time to show up every day and post my video Every day and in the midst of everything else I'm doing because of y'all's support So I thank you so much And everybody who sent me a dollar The latest sent me fifth and all the cash. I appreciate it. I appreciate it I'm gonna go and upgrade this phone to the iphone 11. You hear me? I'm gonna keep this name rolling Cher post a link right here to bonfire She made a shirt point blank period and y'all for support. Um, share share. She she she'd be there for me anybody She she always share always listen just like too Bella and carmel kisses Listen to my heart And understand that I'm not here to do damage. I'm not here to cause issues or to push an agenda that is negative and harmful to the world so if I slip up and I say something then share and and my supporters in the blessed tribe they understand where it's coming from And understand it may be a slip of the tongue It may be I forgot to mention something and they don't try to find a little hole and try to attack me And blow it up into something like a like a lot of you know, satan means come on here trying to do Um Charmel, thank you so much. God bless you. Thank you so much. Okay. They let you do a sticker. Okay. You did a sticker Okay. God bless you for that. I really appreciate that so um that link that um Sherry posted for the t-shirt if you got the extra fundage Y'all can support that because I I don't think I'm gonna make the t-shirts I got some up that show up under my videos, but I'm not really in the apparel business So I'm not really good at all that stuff and and me personally I just don't expect nobody to wear a t-shirt with something on it that I said So that's why I did not make them and I probably never will but I thank sherry for doing that for those of y'all who Like just how you another shirt sleeping or whatever. Hey, but god bless y'all. Um, somebody said a Oh, I'm 15 minutes late. I don't know if y'all but I got to get going I'm gonna see if I can catch the end of my fight or if it's already over God bless you. Thank you everybody that gave a gift tonight and join the bless tribe We'll talk soon. Lord will and I'll be back on sunday night 9 p.m. Eastern and for my videos Typically, I'm gonna have a video up every day by 4 p.m. Eastern. It was by noon, but Been getting busy in in the morning coaching and doing writing ghost writing So by 4 p.m. Eastern every day I typically have a book up if I'm not gonna have not a book a video If I'm not gonna have a video up I try to post in the community on the community page that it's not gonna be there But if you went to self development You could add me to your self development routine because I'm gonna try to be consistent And make it a part of my job and business to post every day tomorrow Tomorrow or tamera. Thank you so much. She said she got a quote from zander insurance I think that link in the description too. I partnered with zander So if you don't have life insurance, the quote is free Do me that one favor tonight. Do me that favor tonight. It's it's secure. It ain't no all that They've been around for decades. They rams. They're always stamping them. That's how I heard about them I got my life insurance through zander. You the quote is free It's sending you all the different quotes and the prices And it's very inexpensive So get a quote from zander insurance. The link is in the description Please do that for me tonight. Do that for me. I did I partnered with them because So many people got to do go go fund me's when somebody passed away So That's why I took And I wanted to partner with them on that Hey kimberley. God bless you. I got to go look now. I got to go now y'all keep blessing me now I got to go. God bless you with a I'll have a video up tomorrow. We'll talk