 Whoa! You know what's in 3D garbage this morning? But only the end. But only the end. Hey guys, this is our review for the sixth nightmare on Elm Street movie, Freddy's Dead, which... The final nightmare. The final nightmare, which had a scene at the end that was in 3D, which, in Mark's box set, came with these 3D glasses. Like they say Nightmare on Elm Street on the side. Yeah, they do. Not Nightmare on Elm Street 6, so when I got the box set, I had no idea what they were for. This movie is by far the worst. So bad. It is. I promised. I've been saying it, like I think I've mentioned it, like 4 reviews, that this is the worst one, and it's not like the fifth one, which actually was slightly better than I remember it. This was even worse than I remember this movie. This movie is so garbage. This movie is a giant dumpster fire. Just a mess, just a cinematic travesty and atrocity being committed upon us. One through five all had continuity to say. They all kind of were connected with each other. Well, two not so much, but definitely the other ones. Yeah, this one doesn't even fucking try. It's funny, because they almost try, because it talks about kids and stuff, and the guy, the John Doe character, I'm not going to try to remember anything other than maybe character names and this. He's kind of supposed to be Jacob from the fifth movie, the Alice kid. The baby, the dream child. They kind of thought about doing that, but it's like they didn't really want to connect the two for some reason. It's like halfway, they just decided, no, let's do a twist. Yeah, and then they kill him off, and the movie becomes with someone else, but it's so jarring, it's so awful. The thing that I kept on comparing this to was like watching a Wiley Coyote skit. Because it's a cartoon. Yeah. It's the first movie, I mean, five had humor, four had, they all had humor in all, from the first one. They get less and less scary. This is literally a cartoon. There's one of the deaths, which is I think John Doe's death, that they have Freddie pushing a bed of nails or something into the frame, and he literally like leans back. He's like playing video games. Oh yeah, he's using video games as a narrative. No power glove on his claw hand, which is kind of funny. Oh, and then they actually fucking, like the character actually puts on 3D glasses. And they disappear when we all go into 3D land. And obviously it's this red and blue shit, which is just fucking irritating. Terrible for your eyes. When I take these off, they'll be bi-visionally messed up. And like the flames, all everything that was in the light. Everything light through the 3D was really hard to look at, hard to focus on. The film literally feels like the crew... At least the director was on cocaine or ecstasy or something, because nothing makes sense. Everything is like chopped to shit. There's a lot of parts that you feel there was something that was missing, or they'll just zip through a scene really fast. Literally at times, speeding up footage. Oh yeah, the angles are really fucking awkward. The transitioning between different events is completely, like, un-comprehensible. I will say this movie did... They gave a chance with someone. She's Rachel Talala or whatever her last name is. She's the first female director in the series. And she's been with the series previously. She had a couple other roles, and they gave her a chance to direct this movie. It did not work out great. No, it's a fucking mess. One of the worst things in this movie is it's set in the future. The movie starts with a map of America with Springwood showing on it. So weird that escaped from New York. Yeah, it literally looks like they're trying to reference escape from New York. In the near future, all children and teenagers have either died or committed suicide in the town of Springwood. It's just like, what are you doing? And then it doesn't matter, because there's nothing futuristic at all, except maybe the Nintendo Power Glove, which was out in 1991, I'm pretty sure, because I bet that's exactly what they used on its arm. This movie ends up with a lot of cameos, though. We have cameos from Roseanne and Tom Arnold. We have cameos from Johnny Depp, who shows up. Whose name in the credits, by the way, is like Oprah Winterbottom or something stupid and funny like that. We also have Alice Cooper playing young Freddy's dad. And the guy who plays young Freddy, I actually like, I thought he played it super creepy. He played it really well. I even like the kid who does the slow-motion hammer on that. Oh yeah, the fuck would you like take this hamster kill? It's like the kid playing the character didn't want to do that. No, he didn't. No, don't make me. We don't have Alice in this movie, so... We don't have anyone. No one's in it. Her terrible acting is not present. But we replaced it with different types of terrible acting. Just all kinds of terrible acting. Like over-remoting, not-remoting angst. The John Doga, it was like nothing but over-acting. Everything was over-acting. The chick who ends up being the main chick, who ends up being Freddy's daughter, she's not bad. She's alright. But what's his name from Alien? Jaffet Koto! Yeah, he's an- The black guy from Alien is so awesome, I love it. For some reason he has either Ashy face going on. And that or he's clearly reading cute cards. Also the fact that like, when they come back, I'm not sure, one of the things they kind of jump around, they don't really like explain how he knows what's going on with Freddy. Yeah, he's like when they go look for him to talk to him, he's already in a Freddy dream. But one of my favorite parts is when he's talking about the serpent thing, he's like, ah yes, the serpent. Ah yes, the serpent. Ancient creatures of old and time, feed off of nightmares. And that was it. Yeah, that's great, he puts on his last like four seconds. I just saw Caruso from CSI Miami in my head the whole time. Yay! No, it would be like, bitch! Not enough bitches in this movie for how funny it tried to be, it was not very funny. Like the first three teens could have had like, we all on the bus, bitch! We could have been dropping a bunch of good bitch lines. They do have a couple that kind of work. Kung Fu Vex, bitch! That was great. And none of the deaths are cool like Breckenmeier. Hey, Breckenmeier is in this movie. Actually, you know, that was the thing, like when anyone, yeah, yeah, when anyone died, it's like, honestly, if you told me this movie was rated R, I would have called bullshit. It has the F-word. It drops a bunch of F-bombs. It drops a bunch of F-bombs, but that's it. There is nothing that would warrant this movie, aside from the titty shot that's in the credits. That's the linear, quickly flashback titty shot. Because it's basically trying to remind you that, oh, hey, yeah, these movies used to be decent. Aside from that, this movie is a fucking PG-13 at most. And it feels like there's actually a scene where, like, Yafakoto grabs, like, the easiest torn-off piece of sweater I've ever seen, like, this, like, perfect cut out of sweater. And then he's like, and we're gonna, we'll be able to pull him out with this, and then it literally fades to black, like it's going to a commercial. No, it is definitely probably, it is definitely a movie. For the record, this review is so all over the place. It's just, like, this terrible movie. Exactly. We're just basically talking about how much is wrong with this movie. There are some, I want the positive... I like Breckenmeier in it, I do. I would say there's some... And the, the, the deaf dude's death was kind of... Oh, the hand, like, the hand-change. There's some really cool, like, the 3D, there's some visual effects that are fucking awful. But there are some, there's some, like, practical effects. Like, when he chops off his fingers, he puts it down in the same shot, and then all of a sudden his hand is back. It's a well done. I even liked when, um, when it's her dad, and he, like, sticks his hand that's raised on him, and the camera literally just pans. And all they did was have the actor step out, but it looks, it's well done. There's some cool transitions. It's, it's almost like... But it's not worth anything. The DOP had some good ideas. Um, and that's it. But that's it. Like, he only had those good ideas and every other idea he had was terrible. Like, every, like, probably, like, maybe the seventh line of coke that he snorted was the good idea. Pops a good idea into his head. When, um, when, fuck it, when he, uh, when Freddy blows up, I mean, just like the 3D at the screen. And the little worms. And the little langoliers. Is it a langolier sperm in his head? Yeah, actually, fuck, they didn't fucking burn. And they don't really even, they don't even, like, they don't even explain what the fuck that was. They talk about, they're the snakes, but, like, the snakes and the, the thing that Yafikoto has on his wall are, like, long snakes. These things are like little tiny tadpole little twisted metal tadpoles. Yeah. Yeah, they're death metal sperm. That's up there. For sure, this is by far the worst movie. It's so bad. It is a massive mess. And if anything, this is, well, this is why the series died. Yeah. Because of how bad this movie is. We, they waited, it's, I think it's the biggest gap between this one and the next one, because this is 91 and the next one's, like, 94. This had the biggest opening weekend of the whole franchise, except for Freddy versus Jason. And you can tell that everybody watched this on opening night and then told all of their friends to never go see it. Even the, like, things we've said that we don't mind in this movie, like, there's so few and far between, like, Jeremy fell asleep watching this at times. Like, four times. It's so bad. It's slow. It meanders. It could have been a minute shorter. It could have been an, and it's only, like, an hour and 27 minutes to begin with. And you want it to be shorter. And you want it to be half an hour shorter. Like, this should have been, like, this could have been an episode of Freddy's terrible ass TV show that I've never seen except the first episode that Toby Hooper did. Oh. Yeah, Toby, which we could watch it if we could find it. That'd be fun. That's the only one. I'm never watching any of the rest of it because they're terrible for me. I'm going to give this a one. Oh, yeah, yeah. If we can give it a 0.5, I'd be happy with that. That's like a zero. Yeah, this might be as, it's so fucking bad. It is one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time. It is by far the worst nightmare movie that we have watched. It's one of the, like, I'm watching a lot of shitty horror movies right now just for, like, fun. I did some, like, written reviews of some shit recently, too. This is, like, the worst horror movie I've seen in a horror movie. And it's not a comedy. It's a meandering piece of fucking steaming garbage. Oh, man. Well, anyways, guys. I don't know how to say anything else about this fucking garbage. Yeah, it's bad. Just angry at this movie. We are now past the... We get to watch my favorite, the next one. Other than Freddy vs. Jason. We get to watch New Nightmare next to that one. New Nightmare, which was Kraven comes back and, um, Heather Langekamp comes back and it's, like, super meta before meta and it's what's Kraven who, like, metaed the hell out of the horror industry with Scream and revolutionized things but it's, like, the one that kind of led to that with New Nightmare and I can't wait for that. It'll really help me watch the taste of this fucking train right out of my mouth. And now we're going to go and take these off and probably have my grains for the rest of the day. And my vision will be fucked up for the rest of the day. It'll be great. Thank you, movie. Alright, guys. Thank you for watching this review with the next one. Bye.