 Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast I'm your host Rob dial and if you have not yet done so hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast I'm assuming and if you happen to love this podcast Please do me a huge favor go to Spotify or Apple podcast or however you listen to us and give us a rating and review The more positive rating reviews that we get on those platforms and whether those platforms actually show this podcast to people Who have never heard of it before and that way we can grow and more people's lives can be impacted So if you would do that for me, I would greatly greatly appreciate it Today, we're gonna be talking about how to get past the fear of failure Let me say this before we dive into specifically the fear of failure. I Believe and this is my own personal belief that fear is the absolute worst thing in the world The and we can think back to the phrase the famous quote the only thing to fear is fear itself I believe that fear is the worst thing in the world and let me explain to you Why I think that is number one it stops people from from chasing their dreams There's so many dreams that lie dormant inside of the cemetery Because people just didn't follow them because they're afraid of something so it stops people from chasing their dreams It stops people from having the life that they truly want this one life that they get it stops people from Starting a business it stops people from asking that person out it stops people from pursuing their dreams fear is Also the root of hate because you fear what you do not know We all fear what we do not know and if you knew and understood the other person They're past what they've been through you can never hate that person which means that fear is the root of war You know I the one country fears another country is going to attack them And so what did they do they attack first so that they don't get attacked because I don't want you to attack me And so it's like I'll go to war with you because I'm afraid of you attacking me So I'm going to attack you first because I'm afraid of death And so I believe that fear is the worst thing in the world and it it holds people back from everything that they truly want And so when we go into the fear of failure The I mean if the amount of messages that I get of people that don't follow their dreams Or haven't done what they truly want to do because they're afraid of being judged You're afraid of what their mom's going to say they're afraid of failing They're afraid of what would happen if their business went under all of these things So they just don't chase what they truly want to do and what's interesting about the fear of failure is that it actually has Nothing to do with failure That's the interesting thing and that's what we're going to dive into deeper today Is a fear of failure has nothing to do with failure It's the fear of your insecurities coming to light mine too. I have the fear of failure that pops up all the time, too I think that every single successful person has the fear of failure in some sort of way whenever they go and they start something new But just some people listen to the fear and do nothing and some people don't listen to the fear and create the life that they want But it's the fear not the fear of failure the fear of failure is actually fear of my insecurities coming to light at the center of everybody's fears is I'm not good enough and if I'm not good enough that I won't be loved at The center of every single person's fear is that I'm not good enough and that if I'm not good enough I won't be loved if you think of your biggest fear all of the fears of you know Like I always hear like I'm gonna run out of money or I'm not gonna be able to be a great parent or Whatever it might be if my business is going to fail I'm going to screw up my relationship all of those because you feel like you're not enough to actually succeed in those and if I fail at those things I Will be shown my greatest fear which is I'm not good enough this business failed Comes to the surface my biggest insecurity. See I'm not good enough to run a business. I should have just got a day job I should have just stuck with a rat race And so what happens is instead of actually going out and facing their fears and possibly coming in contact with their insecurities People go through life and you know, I'd rather live a life of mediocrity So I don't have to see the places where I'm not good enough And I fear being judged so I Won't start because I don't want to be judged And if I do fail on top of that, I'll be judged even harder And so we're not consciously thinking these when we have the fear arising inside of us These are all subconscious thoughts is what if I do it and I fail What if I do it and I and I'm judged and what if I do it and I fail and then I'm judged even harder And then my insecurity my greatest insecurity of I'm not enough Comes into play and if I'm not enough I won't be loved Because at the center of everything every single human no matter who they are is just somebody who wants to be loved Somebody who wants to be accepted somebody who wants to be heard and somebody who wants to be seen so We get afraid of this thing called failure when failure is you're gonna see when I talk about it Amazing. It's a great thing When you screw up, it's not failing Failure is not final failure is a function of success Failure is not final The only time that you fail at something is when you give up at it If you don't give up at something it is impossible to fail at it Think about that for a second if you do not give up at something It is literally impossible for you to fail at it. You will eventually I promise you this Figure out what it is that you need to do succeed So what we see is quote-unquote failure of oh, I screwed up. No, you just you didn't fail that anything you just fell Failure is not final that failure the thing that we think is failure in our mind is just a function. It's falling We screwed up get back up keep going You only fail when you give up and when you see someone Who's ridiculously successful? I think of somebody in your mind That when you see them you're like yes that person is the epitome in my mind of success It could be money. It could be happiness. It could be fame. It could be great relationships great parent When you see someone who's successful, however you define success what you really see is somebody who just didn't give up That's it. What you're seeing is someone who didn't give up The owner of Honda has the famous quote of saying that success is 99% failure The great thing about success is you just have to not fall once and you figure it out and it works and it clicks and Almost everything that you've ever wanted just kind of falls into your lap. Like if I think about Building the company that I own now. I screwed up many things building this company at one point in time Years ago. I was the only person in this company I was the sole person and so over time I screwed things up and screwed And I figured out what works in the sales department what works in the marketing department works in the operations department Put people in place hired people hired some of the wrong people and I screwed up many times while building this company now we have over 30 people in the company and It took a lot of failure to build a company from zero people to 30 people and I guarantee to go from 30 to 100 I'm gonna have to fuck up a lot more stuff and I'm okay with that because when I fail Okay, quote-unquote fail, but fall and I mess up. I learn more You learn more when you mess up than when you do something right right and just wake up And my business was doing well. No, there's a lot that had to go into it And I probably succeed with my ideas like 5% of the time in my company the rest of the time I feel like I'm just throwing stuff at the wall and we're just gonna see what sticks And it was the same way with the podcast like with my podcast this one Well, I like somewhere of whatever it is or over 1300 episodes 1400 episodes We're at a lot of episodes right and I remember when I first started I remember seeing a statistic that the average podcaster and this is way back in 2015 So there weren't many podcasters back then But way back in 2015 that the average pod podcaster gives up after seven episodes So I just made a decision if I'm gonna start a podcast. I'm not going to stop Why because everybody else along the way is eventually going to give up and if I just don't give up I'll figure it out. I'll figure out my flow. I'll see what works. What doesn't work and eventually I'll be towards the top now. It was just my thought Luckily it worked, you know This is now the number one always between number one and number three business and mental health podcast in the world It's one of the top 100 podcasts in the entire world out of every podcast and there's like 1.7 million of them and People always say like what's what's the secret to success in podcast? Tell me the secret like how can I get to where you are in six months? I'm like it's been years years and years and years and years and years and years You know, we're gonna be eventually pretty soon approaching 10 years running this podcast. I just didn't stop I had bad reviews. I had crappy comments. I had email saying that I know the fuck I was talking about But I just kept going That's what you have to do with whatever it is that you want in your life You just have to keep going like think back to something that you gave up on think of something that you really wanted two three four five Ten years ago that you gave up on Think about that thing. Do you have it in your mind now? Think about where you could be if you just did not give up Think about where that business could be think about where your health could be think about where that Relationship could be think of that thing that you gave up on years ago And if you didn't give up where could you be right now? You would have a vastly different life. I'm sure now think about the thing that's in front of you that you're afraid to start Because you're afraid of failing or think about the thing in front of you that you're currently doing But you're really afraid of of going all out because you're afraid of failing If you fast forward five years now, where could you be if you decided not to give up again? Because you've given up on yourself many times Out of the fear of failure Where could you be if you didn't give up on yourself? You have to what I have what I like to call failure amnesia you have to Completely forget about the times where you've quote-unquote failed and only think about successes Even if it's just one success just think about that one success all the time Because if I look at like personally for me what pops into my head So yeah, I have a successful business now But I've had multiple Businesses that were not successful that I screwed up on that I ran into the ground that I lost all my money that I went negative in my Accounts I've had multiple of them and if I would have taken that past event and place it into the future and Not started because of what happened in the past and I wouldn't have the business that I have now you have to have Failure amnesia you have to think about the future more than you think about the past never walked Like when you think about who you are and what you learned You never walked through the same river twice because you're not the same person and it's not the same river We're constantly changing life is constantly changing and to think that what happened to you in the past is automatically Gonna be what happened to you and we'll what will happen to you in the future is crazy Because with my failed businesses as an example I learned how to not fail businesses because I failed businesses so that's the the important thing is that the The past is not supposed to be placed into the future of oh, this was the end result of this thing before Like if you're in a relationship right now And you have you're afraid to get it or maybe you're afraid to get into a relationship because you've had some Negative relationships in the past and you're looking at your negative relationships in the past and you're throwing them into your future and saying well Yeah, I probably shouldn't get into a relationship because my relationships in the past were like this This is what my relationship with the future probably gonna be like no because you're not the same person you learned What you want what you don't want how how you don't want that person to show up how you don't want to show up You've learned from that same way that if you're the exact same thing is true in the relationship as if starting a business Have you had failed businesses in the past or do you know people who have failed in the past sure? Maybe but you learn from all of these things you learn from every single experience that you have in your life The fear will never actually go away. I don't know if the fear will ever go away Successful people are not fearless They feel the fear, but then they just decide to do it. Anyways, you have to do the same When you look at someone who you look up to it's very successful Maybe it's your uncle or maybe it's someone your grandfather or maybe it's a friend of a friend or whatever it is There's somebody who probably has the same amount of fears than you The same amount, but they just decide to do it anyways Here is what I'm positive of though that person that you see that is ridiculously successful Has had way more failures than you The people who are the most successful are the biggest failures when you look at people like Michael Jordan he was cut from his high school basketball team When you look at people like JK Rowling She had 12 publishers tell her that her books sucked and then she finally got one to pick it up She put out Harry Potter and all the Harry Potter series have sold more than 500 million copies Imagine if she had given up after the 11th publisher You have to understand that everybody feels the fear of failure But what you're really feeling is just a feeling of the insecurity of what happens if I do this and it doesn't work out And people judge me and I judge myself and I show and I am shown that I am not good enough I don't about you. I'm more afraid of dying and not seeing my true potential than I am of quote-unquote failure. I Expect failure. I think you should welcome failure Feel the fear and do it anyways You're gonna feel the fear and when you're sitting there you're about to go do something new The fear will arise, you know that feeling inside of your body the physical feeling of like, oh, yeah, I'm definitely feeling fear right now Okay, breathe into it and then dance with the fear go and do it anyways. It's no big deal It's not gonna disappear. It might get a little bit quieter over time But you're not gonna die with no fears. You're just gonna hopefully eventually learn to start working with your fears So instead of in it paralyzing you it needs to propel you in some sort of way Here's the issue though You need to train yourself This way you've been trained to be afraid of failure now You need to start training yourself to be okay with failure okay with fear same way that Pavlov's dogs They were trained that when you ding a bell you get a treat when you ding a bell you get a treat And so they eventually just dinged a bell and their body started their mouth started salivating their body took over before their Brain did what if you could start retraining your brain exactly the same to welcome the fear to go? Yep, there it is I feel it. Let's go. So instead of it holding you back in paralyzing you it actually starts to repel you Expect the fear do it anyways dance with the fear and remember this You only have to succeed once So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at Rob dial jr. Rob d i a l j r Also, if you love this podcast You want some extra stuff inside of your Instagram feed follow the mindset mentor podcast on Instagram That is the handle and I'm gonna leave you the same way leave you every single episode make it your mission Make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day