 Craft presents The Great Gildersleeve Cheese Company, who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night, presents each week at this time Harold Perry as The Great Gildersleeve written by John Wheaton and Sam Moore. We're from The Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. But first an old proverb says that you've got to spend money to make money. Be that as it may, I'll twist that old saying around and tell you how one clever homemaker spends just three rederation stamps to save rederation stamps. That sounds odd. Try doing what she does with Pabstet, the delicious nourishing cheese food of 100 uses. First make a smooth cheese sauce with Pabstet and a little milk. Then pour it over leftovers of meat or fish or vegetables or rice fixed any way you like and see how family appetites react to that simple magic. You've saved food and you've pleased dad and the kids. That's worthwhile economy. They like the unique cheddar cheese flavor of Pabstet in a variety of other ways too. You can melt it with macaroni for grand tasting casseroles toasted to perfection or serve it sliced with dessert or just by itself. Pabstet is made to please the most particular appetites and it's a splendid source of important milk nutrients your family needs. So ask your dealer for Pabstet, the delicious nourishing cheese food of 100 uses. Remember the name Pabstet. First came the horse. In time the horse was eliminated and a self-propelling vehicle was developed through the efforts of men like Henry Ford, Stutz, Chandler and others. None of these could have foreseen that the culmination of all these centuries of progress would be a 1946 cylinder four-door sedan at the wheel of which could be found Throckmorton P. Gilderslee. Yet that's where we find him today just turning into his driveway and heading for the garage. Something seems to be amiss and it sounds like a muller. Come on, Ginny. Come on, old girl. You're almost there. Well, we made it. It sound like... Mommy, open. What happened? I don't know, Leroy. There's something wrong with the old bus. Stick your shirt tail in. Yes, sir. I stopped by the service station to get Mike to take a look at it. Mike's been drafted. So I discovered. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I guess I'll have to fix it myself. Are you kidding? No, I'm not kidding. We'll all be making our own repairs sooner or later. We might as well start now. Might as well start walking. I guess I'll go in and get some old clothes on, Leroy. Bring that package when you come. It's on the front seat there. Cigars. What's that, my boy? How about the boyfriend? Boyfriend? Oh, you mean Ben? Yeah, he'll be bringing Marge home any minute. He knows all about motors and stuff. Well, I know a few things about motors myself. I don't need any help from Ben. Yes, Bertie? Good evening. Have you got my groceries? Get groceries? Oh, well, I'll tell you about that, Bertie. I didn't forget. I thought about the groceries, but the way the car is acting up, I didn't dare stop. Well, I don't know what I'm going to do for dinner. Thanks. I got these before the car started acting up, Bertie. Well, I'm sure I don't know what I'm going to do about dinner, and that's a fact. Couldn't we just have some beans or something? Mr. Gillespie, beans come out of a can. That's 14 points in the ration book. Hangly spent. Have we got any? Well, we've got one can. I've been saving it in my whole chest. Yes. Break it out, Bertie. This is an emergency. If you say so, Mr. Gillespie. Oh, and Bertie? Yes, sir? Do you think we'll have enough to invite Marge who's young man to stay to suffer? Well, if I stretch him, maybe. I thought you didn't need any help from Ben, Uncle. I don't. Never mind, Bertie. Just the three of us. Oh, but wait. Here they come now, Marge, me and Ben. I'll just see what his plans are. I'm going to act like this. Gosh, you don't understand. I understand perfectly. And as long as you act like that, I'm going to act like this. Goodbye. Hello, Uncle Morton. I don't know. Sounds like trouble. What's it going to be for four? Beans for three, I guess, Bertie. Come on, Leroy. Let's get at that engine. Leroy, you may not. Just wait. No. Why not? I've told you why not. You're too young, and you don't know anything about cars. I know as much as some people. Besides, it's against the law. Let's get busy here. Nice. How do you open this hood? Darn thing. Never get it open that way. And how do you open it? Well, I don't know anything about cars. Come on, Leroy. How do you open it? You have to unlock it first. Well, unlock it, then, if you know so much. Sure. Getting someplace? At the engine. Fix it. Yeah, but how? Don't keep asking questions. I'll figure that out when I come to it. You ask me. You've come to it. Yes. Well, Leroy, give me the screwdriver, and we'll see what's what here. Gotta get to the bottom of this. Screwdriver. Here, Uncle. Thanks. Well, I guess we better unscrew something, huh? Well, what seems to be the trouble, Uncle? I think the engine's missing, Leroy. Either that or the clutch is slipping. In either case, it's probably the carburetor. There's a little valve in there. Dirt gets into it. You just take it apart and blow into it. How did you learn so much about carburetors, Uncle? You pick up these things, my boy. I've seen Mike do it. Now, where is the little devil? Here we are. Uncle, that's not the carburetor. How do you know? Don't do that. I didn't. You did it. Oh, must have some connection with the horn. It is the horn. Oh. The horn seems to be all right. We better try something else. Uh-oh. I don't like the looks of this. If you're looking for the carburetor, Uncle, you're getting cold. A little less advice, young man, and we'll get along better here. Okay. Just watch the way I do this. You'll be in a position to do it yourself if you ever have to. You see, I just... It sticks. You get a shock, Uncle? And I bump my head, too. I dropped the screwdriver in there. It's down inside the engine there. You'll probably have to take the grease pan off to get it. Well, how do you get the grease pan off? Screwdriver. What a marge we have to go and get in a fight with Ben for. Well, I'll just have to see if I can reach down in there and get it. Unless you want to try, LeRoy. Your arms are longer than mine, Uncle. Well, agility counts, too, you know. Yeah, but I don't know as much about cars as you do. All right. Want me to boost you in there, Uncle? No. Keep away from me. Greasy, filthy, dirty, nasty, filthy, dirty, nasty. Who's that? His Honor. You've been up to look at your grease all over your shirt. You're a mess. Yeah, I know it. What seems to be the trouble, Gildy? The engine's missing. Well, have you notified the police? Oh, 23 Skidoo Hooker. What do you want in here anyway? Well, I just dropped in to ask for the loan of a rake, Gildy. I thought I'd do a little work on my victory garden. But if I can be of any assistance to you here... Give him the rake, LeRoy. Okay. Uncle's been looking for the carburetor, Judge, and I tried to tell him that's it. Where? Right there. Boy's absolutely right, Gildy. Any fool knows that. What do you know about it, you old grandpa's? You and your real? I bet it hasn't even got a carburetor. There's an old saying, Gildishly. There are none so blind as those who will not see. Go on, pull your car to pieces, scatter it all over the place, but when you've finally taken everything else apart, you'll discover that that is the carburetor. You don't have to make a speech about it. I'll take that rake now, LeRoy, if you'll be so good. Hey, odd judge. I shall return it. See that you do. Thanks. You're welcome. The old windbag. He could be right, though. LeRoy, just for the sake of argument, suppose we take this little gadget apart here, huh? No, you're getting somewhere. You're gonna need a wrench for that, though. After all the work I went to to fish this screwdriver out? Yeah, you might as well throw it back in. Hey, let me see if this'll fit. LeRoy, I'm doing this. Okay, okay. You get this? Yeah, it's coming. Oh, boy. Welcome on. Oh, what does she want? LeRoy. What do you want? LeRoy, don't holler in my ear. You did it. There goes the carburetor all over the lot. Who did it? What did you let go for? Why did you shout for? Who shouted? Well, who let go? It came apart in my hand. You hadn't shouted? I wouldn't have dropped it. I told you not to shout. All right. Well, not exactly, my dear, but I think I've definitely located the trouble. The carburetor. What's wrong with the carburetor? It's all over the garage. Heat your beans. Well, I only hope to get it finished by tomorrow. Brady and I have some shopping to do, haven't we? We sure have. Got to get all the groceries for the weekend. Well, you can always have them delivered if you have to. Not no more. The A-1 grocery doesn't deliver now? No, sir. With them, it's strictly come and get it. And the last one gets a rotten egg. That's right. You have to go down there and person and raffle for it. Yes. Well, Leroy can always run down on his bicycle. No. Oh, come clean out the mort. Aren't you going to get that car put together by tomorrow? Oh, I'll get it put together. Don't worry about that. I'll get it put together. Just hope it'll run. That's all. Why don't you just break down and get Ben to help you? He could fix it in no time. Young man, when I want any advice from you, I'll break down and ask for it. Okay. Can I be excused? You may be excused, Leroy. And stick your shirt tail in. Okay. By the way, Marjorie, speaking of Ben, why don't we have him to supper tomorrow? The more you know perfectly well that Ben and I are not speaking. Since when? Since four o'clock this afternoon. Oh, no. I'm sorry to hear that. We're not going to be speaking until Ben makes up his mind. About what? Whether he's a man or a mouse. Oh, I don't think you're being fair to Ben, my dear. He's a little shy, perhaps. A little? But he's a fine, capable lad. And I don't like to hear you say... Capable of putting a car together, maybe, but he's not capable of making up his own mind. Well, now I wouldn't say that, uh... He won't speak up unless people walk all over him. No woman wants to marry a man like that. Has he asked you to marry him? No, that's another thing. It's not what I'm mad about. What are you mad about? Well, down at the plant today, a job opened up in Ben's department. And did Ben get it? No. Chef Healy got it. Who, that loudmouth? Yes. At least he had the nerve to walk into the front office and talk to them. Not Ben, though. No car, baby. He ain't say nothing. So now he's working for Chet. Oh, that's too bad. Oh, it burns me up. Ben knows three times as much as Chet does. Five times. How's anyone going to find it out if he never opens his mouth? Well, you seem to have found it out. That's different. Trouble with Ben is he's just too nice. Everybody imposes on him any lessons. Every time he comes over here, you get him to work on something. Uh, uh, telephone, my dear. You don't want to be too hard on Ben, my dear. You could do a lot to help him. I'm not interested. Wait a minute, now. You can't tell him that, my dear. Tell him to hold on, Leroy. Tell him I'll speak to him. Just a minute. Uncle Mort, if you ask him over here, I won't see him. No, be fair, my dear. We haven't had him over here in several days, and I think it'd be only decent. And if you use me as an excuse to get him over here to help you with that car, I won't speak to you. Why, Marjorie, I'm hurt that you would even think such a thing. Be right there, Leroy. Here he comes. Here, give it to me. Hello, Ben? How are you, my boy? Just fine. How are you? Oh, I'm fine. Marjorie? Well, uh, I'll tell you, Ben, she's, uh, she's in the bathtub right now. Uncle Mort. Yeah, taking a bath, Ben. You know, all wet. Is there any message I can give her? She's dying to see you, Ben, and she wants to know if you'll come over to supper tomorrow night. Fine. She says to come early about two o'clock. Yeah. We'll play games, Ben. Yeah. And, oh, Ben, be sure to wear old clothes. We'll be with us again in a few seconds. But first, let me ask, are you a homemaker shopping before you go to the store these days? Now that it takes two kinds of money to buy so many foods, red ration stamps, as well as cash, you'll find that planning in advance will save many vexing moments. This meal plan the main dish first, then carefully build the rest of the meal around it using your newspaper list of point values. That way, you can be sure that family appetites will be tempted and that meals will be satisfying because they're well-balanced. If you want to surprise the family with a real treat that's economical with both red ration stamps and cash, in planning your meals for this week include the delicious cheese food, Pabstead. Pabstead has a unique cheddar cheese flavor that's grand with main dishes served as a smooth cheese sauce with leftovers in a variety of ways. Pabstead's wonderfully nourishing, too. It's a fine source of many vitally important milk nutrients your family needs. Now, you may not be able to buy Pabstead the first time you try because so much of the nation's dairy food is going to war. But watch for it and buy Pabstead when you can. Just three red ration points for a generous package. Remember the name Pabstead. P-A-B-S-T-E-T-T. Pabstead. Back to our hero. His plans are progressing favorably since after a good night's sleep Marjory seems more or less reconciled of the thought of seeing Ben. It's afternoon now and we find Gilder Sleeve lying on the floor of his garage working on his long-suffering car assisted by the long-suffering Leroy. I think she's coming now, Leroy. You'll be sorry, Uncle. Don't be silly, my boy. I've got a suspicion the whole trouble is right in here. That's what you said yesterday when you took off the carburetor. Well, when Ben gets here, he'll confirm my theory. I'm certain. You're gonna make him work too, ain't you, Uncle? I'm not making anybody work, Leroy. I'm entirely opposed to the principle of slave labor. If you're not interested in what you're doing, you may go. Oh, boy! Leroy! Can I go? No. Only said that to test your character. I'd like it better if I could do some of the hammering gun under there. You sure gave me the worst part of this job. Yeah, but yours is a very important part, my boy. Be patient. Christian Marder. What on earth are you doing? Can't you see? Well, I can see you standing there with a vacant look on your face, holding that blanket as if you were going to catch somebody jumping out of a burning building. Don't make fun of Leroy, Marjorie. He's helping me with an important job. Oh, you're down under there. What's Leroy doing? Well, I'm trying to knock the timing gear loose. And once you bust loose, I catch all the pieces in the blanket. No, no. Well, in that case, I want you both to hold still while I go get my camera. Huh? I want to record this for posterity. Hi, Marjorie. Hi, young fella. I'll be right back then. I want to get my camera and take a picture of these two idiots. Two? Where's your uncle? I'm under here, young fella. I mean... Don't let Uncle Moore talk you into any work on that car now. Oh, don't worry, Marjorie. I won't get under there. New suit. Nice, too. Well, I won't be a second. Leroy. Give me a hand. I want to come up and see Ben for a minute. Okay, uncle. Blow out all your breath and pull in your stomach. Heave-ho! Glad to see you. Glad to see you, Mr. Gillersleeve. Doing a little repairing, I see. Yes, I am repairing. It's every motor's duty in wartime. By the way, I'm having a little trouble getting this gadget loose here, Ben. I wonder if you'd mind just slipping under there and having a little peek. Oh, I'm afraid I could, Mr. Gillersleeve. Not in these clothes. New suit. Oh, well. Don't you worry, my boy. I wouldn't have you spot that suit for the world. Here, slip into these overalls. Oh, but gee, Mr. Gillersleeve. No trouble at all, my boy. Here. But Marjorie said I... He'll never know. Leroy won't tell. Will you, Leroy? Leave it. Why that little... He's sneaked off. Marjorie will never know, Ben. Here. You'll be under there and out again before she gets back. But she only wants to get a camera. That's what she said, my boy. But I guess we know women, don't we? Oh. Yeah, you bet. Yeah. That's the stuff. Here. Here's the wrench. You see that thing that's holding it? Ah, I think so. There, my boy. Here she comes. Well, I've got the camera and it's all loaded. Where's Ben? Uh, Ben? Yes, Ben. Where did he go? Oh. He-he-he-he. Spockmorton, you should be ashamed of yourself. No, Marjorie. And you should be ashamed, too, Ben Waterford. Now, wait a minute, Mar. And his new suit, too. How could you do it, Uncle Mort? Overalls. Besides, it was really his own idea, Marjorie. He practically insisted. I don't believe it. Well, Ben, aren't you coming out of there? Suppose you're going to stay down there all... But Ben, did you get to watch him or call it loose? No, I didn't. And he's not going to. Well, it'll only take a second, Mar. To me, Ben Waterford, you haven't any more spine than a piece of spaghetti. You let yourself be pushed around down to the factory by a boy with half your ability. And then you come out here and let yourself be pushed around by a lazy old man with a big stomach. Oh! Marjorie. She went out the front gate, Ben, and down the street. Oh, golly, I can't chase her in these torn pants. What'll I do? Don't worry, lad. You'll be all right. Oh, it was wonderful the way you stood your ground there. By George, you certainly told her, Ben. Sir, there was a mighty fine supper. Aren't you glad you stayed now, Ben? Well, pretty glad. Yes, sir. Oh. Well, let's get at that car again. What do you say? You don't suppose Marjorie might be coming in soon? Don't worry about her. She'll turn up soon enough. She's probably seeing the early show at the Majestic. Might just as well work on the car until she gets here, Ben. Well, I want to talk to her before I go. But in the meantime... That's the spirit. We'll both work on it before you know it. Zingo. Okay. Yes, sir. Who's... Oh, my goodness. What's the matter? I'm clean out of cigars, practically. Tell you what. I'll run down to the drugstore and pick up a couple while you get started. Then I'll come back and zingo. Good evening, Mr. Gildersleeve. How can I be of service to you? Give me a couple of cigars. Will you, PB? And make it snappy. I'm in a hurry. Yes, sir. Here they are. 50, 75, one dollar a night. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Well, how's business, PB? A little quiet, Mr. Gildersleeve. I lay it all to this rationing. Rationing? But they're not rationing drugs, PB. That's just the trouble. The ration stuff gets all the publicity. I see. Well, I've got to get going. Oh, I've got a match, PB. Oh, yes. Always got a lucifer on me somewhere for a good customer. Here. Thanks. Well, you've got to be running along. In your eyes, Jay. Going to a picture. No, I'm fixing my automobile and I've got to get back and finish the job. Too bad you're in such a hurry. It can't help it. Why? What if I wasn't? Well, I was just thinking, business is being so quiet and all that maybe you and I could play just one game of Chinese checkers. Yeah, here? Now? Yes, it takes about a half an hour. I've got the board here with a hot water bag. Well, I've got to get back to that car, PB. Besides, Chinese checkers is a kid game. There's no skill to it. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. There's nothing to the game, PB. There's more than to it than you think, Mr. Gillersley. You know, I'll tell you what I'll do. If you beat me, I'll give you a ten-cent soda on the house. Well, just one game, PB, but we'll have to play fast because I'm in a hurry. Now, let's get at that car now, huh? Oh, it's all finished, Mr. Gillersley. It just finished the minute ago. Well, can you beat that? How much obliged to you, my boy? Well, that's okay. Now we can sit here on the porch and enjoy the spring evening for a while. Yeah. Something accomplished, something done to earn a night's repose. Long fellow. Darn rocking chair has a bad squeak. Yeah, notice it? Yes, sir. But I don't know anything about rocking chairs. You didn't happen to see Marge when you were on the way to the drugstore, did you? No, Ben, I didn't. But don't you worry about her. She's probably at the home of one of her girlfriends playing Chinese checkers. She's probably wishes she was here right this minute. Well, you think so? No doubt about it. She'll be along soon. Gee, I guess you must know quite a bit about women, don't you, Mr. Gillersley? Well, I've been around quite a while, my boy. You get so you can figure them out. Tell what a woman's thinking just by looking at her. Gosh, that must be a neat trick. And I'm with a girl I can't seem to... can't seem to think at all. Can't think? No, I just sit there and sizzle. Well, that's not the way to captivate a woman, Ben. It sure isn't. What do you suppose Marge has got against me, Mr. Gillersley? Well, that's as simple as ABC, young man. You're not using any finesse. Any what? You've got to be smooth, Ben. Look at the men the women go for in pictures. Look at Adolph Margeau. Yeah, and look at me. Well, I'm sorry about your suit, Ben. Oh, that's all right. Gosh, I couldn't be like Adolph Margeau anyway. I tried to raise a mustache once. What was the trouble? Well, came out pink. Pink? Yeah, and shaved him pretty close ever since. Oh, there's a car turning down our street. Yeah, who's is it? Oh, it's probably Marie King driving Marjorie home. Yes, Marie got a 42 convertible. Uh, no, that's not Marie. No, it isn't. That's Chet Healy. Chet Healy? What? It's Marjorie. Hello. Hello. Uncle Morton, I want you to meet Chet Healy. I've told you about it. How do you do? Well, how are you, Mr. Gilda Sleeve? Hey, who's that with you? Well, if it isn't my new assistant. Hi, you junior. Hello. Yeah, we just saw a great picture, and then we had a good look at a wonderful moon. Ah, this is a mighty attractive little niche you've got there, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. Oh, you think so? Yes, sir. I'd like to be an uncle to her myself. Well, say, Junior, what happened to your Sunday suit? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? How would you like a punch in the nose? Oh, Ben. Don't worry, honey, nothing's going to happen to me. That's what you think. Ah! That's for it. In the future, keep away from my girl. Oh, Ben. You keep picking on me as if I didn't know what I was doing. You treat me like a child, and I'm sick of it. You're going to be my girl. You've got to let me say what's what from now on. Oh, Ben, I will. Well, that's telling her, Ben. I'm glad to see you're following my advice. Your advice? Mr. Gillis, leave your fellow wet hay. Hold! What are you doing up? What are you doing at that window? Come over here and get a load of this, Uncle. You can hear the two lovebirds out in the porch. Why, Leroy? Oh, is that Ben laying it on? You get away from that window, young man. I'm surprised at you. What did I do? Don't you know that Eve's dropping is wrong? It's dishonorable to listen in another people's conversation. Don't ever let me catch you doing that again. You understand? Yes, sir. Leroy, did he kiss her? What do you think? Good night, my boy. Good night, everybody. And we're going to be direct from Claude Sweetman. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Carl's Cheese Company, and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of the Great Yielders League. Here's a question for homemakers. What delicious nourishing spread for bread is economical with both red ration stamps and money? The answer? Parquet margarine. The answer? Parquet margarine. Parquet margarine. Parquet margarine. Parquet margarine. Parquet margarine. Parquet margarine. Parquet margarine. The quality spread made by craft. Parquet margarine has a delicate appetizing flavor that is grand with bread and toast and rolls. It's a fine seasoning for hot vegetables, a real flavor shortening for baking. It is especially good for pan frying because it doesn't spatter or stick to the pan. And besides being wonderfully good to eat, Parquet is highly nutritious. In fact, it is one of the best energy foods you can serve. What's more, it is fortified with important vitamin A. So for flavor, for good nutrition and for all around economy, ask your dealer for Parquet margarine. If he doesn't have Parquet the first time you ask for it, it's because of wartime shortages and because more and more people are asking for Parquet every day. But craft is doing everything possible to keep all dealers supplied. So watch for Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, Parquet margarine made by craft. This program has reached you from Hollywood. This is the national broadcast.