 The makers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Cy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Lash with Alan Reed as the squalor. Friends, as you know, Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum is giving daily enjoyment to millions of people all over America, in offices and factories, on farms and branches, in mines and oil fields. Folks find that chewing Wrigley Spearman helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley Spearman Gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people, and they're glad too that they are able to bring you life with Luigi because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama basco innit. Mama mia. If this letter sounds a horses because I get a little cold, but don't worry, I'm very happy because this Sunday, May the 20th, is a big day in the United States. Here's the call, I am an American a day. Of course, I'm an organ of my citizen of purpose yesterday, so for me it's going to be, I'm going to be an American a day. And why not the mama mia? It's a 48th day here, and they all are working together to give the people what they need. For instance, the main catch is the fish. I, the whole, grows it a potato. Kansas, it gives it a corn, Minnesota, the wheat, and Texas takes all of the credit. But over here, mama mia, everybody works the hardest, tries to be a good citizen of base of the laws, and if there's something that you don't understand, then he can write to us as a congressman. Sure, I'm going to talk to my congressman once, asking him, he should explain it to me by the Social Security. Six months later, he just said to me, beautiful photograph on a book about the care and the feeding of a pig. Mama mia, it's a nice to have a congressman, and someday I'm going to help it to elect a congressman, but I'm going to hardly wait for that to be good day when they're going to let me vote. I'm going to walk in the little boot with a four-pencils and a voter for everybody. Anyway, like I'm going to start to write to you, this Sunday is going to be biggest celebration in the Chicago and Lake Shore, and now I'm going to my night school class, so I'm misfolding my teaching. Is it going to tell us what we're supposed to do to take a part in the I Am American Day celebration? America, I love you, you're like a papa to me, promotion to us. All right class, quiet please. Now I'll call the roll. Mr. Basko? Present. Mr. Harwick? Present. Mr. Olsen? Present. Mr. Schultz? Howdy-dowdy. Mr. Schultz? Howdy-dowdy. Mr. Schultz? Howdy-dowdy. Well, all right. Now class, since this Sunday is I Am an American Day, I asked you to study in your civics book the chapter on what makes a good citizen. Now, yes, Mr. Basko? Yes, Mr. Basko, we all are going to get us to the practice to watch you this ceremony. Yes, we're meeting at noon at the main entrance. Incidentally, I have a surprise announcement to make about that right after class. Now I was- Yes, Mr. Basko? Do you think it's going to rain this Sunday? I hope not. Now, in our civics lesson class, I was- What's the biggest surprise in this course? Mr. Basko, will you let me finish my sentence? When Luigi gets curious, a life-terma couldn't finish his sentence. You have to hold your questions until later, Mr. Basko. Now, getting back to citizenship, who can tell me how a person becomes a citizen? Mr. Harwick, will you tell us? With pleasure. You can become a citizen by waiting five years and getting your papers, or if you're in a hurry, you can get born here, and that automatically makes you a citizen. Well, that's rather a quaint way of putting it. All right. Thank you. Now, who can tell us some of the qualities of a good citizen? Mr. Basko? Well, a good citizen takes care of a citizen of papers. No, no. He keeps them in a drawer. No, Mr. Basko. I'm not a citizen of papers, but every Monday morning I'm going to take a little peek. Nespalding, it is becoming later apparent that you are running into difficulty. May I volunteer the correct answer? Olden, why don't you volunteer for the foreign leisure? Mr. Scholes, please. Go on, Mr. Olden. The qualities of a good citizen. A good citizen always obeys the laws of the government. He emphasizes his rights under the Constitution. Don't I? Furthermore, a real genuine citizen understands the general workings of his government, and he keeps himself informed. What else, Mr. Olden? Well, he's a good father. He stays the whole night with his family. He keeps out of trouble. He doesn't drink or gamble. And he demonizes his halo. Don't be so fondly. Mr. Scholes, suppose you add to Mr. Olsen's list of beauties of a good citizen. Nespalding is a citizen of everything that Olsen said. He won't have time left for my list. Mr. Scholes, you can't joke yourself out of this one. You should be ashamed of yourself. You've lived here all these years. You have your citizen papers, and yet you can't tell us what happened. Yes, I know, I know. A good citizen. A good citizen. A good citizen. Nespalding, maybe I'm not a good citizen. Of course you are, Mr. Scholes. I'm sorry for what I said. You're all wonderful citizens. And you'll be pleased about this special announcement about this Sunday's I Am an American Day. Well, as you know, there'll be 15,000 people assembled in the park, as well as all the public schools. And this class has been selected to sit on the steefer stand. Oh, wonderful. What's the reason? Well, I thought it was a lovely reason. This class represents the oldest school children in the city. You may know where the oldest school kids are. The last one in the social security line is a rotten egg. And I might add, with the youngest spirit. Well, class, that's a surprise. And I think it'll be a wonderful experience for you. Especially when you consider that the principal speaker will be a judge from Washington, D.C. Judge Halby Reeves, and he's flying in, especially from Washington. Mamma mia, we're going to be sitting with a judge, and I'll speak as a platform. Oh, wait a second, here's about this. He's really going to get excited. The only thing that would excite Pasquale would be if the judge was a choice of the beat. Well, maybe so should say. But I'm sure Pasquale would be interested in a big Washington, a judge like Halby Reeves. Only if he's single. Well, sir, come out of the kitchen. I want to talk with you. Oh, my God! Oh, between you and the eating and Luigi, with that, I'm an American. Today, I'm never going to make a match. I gave Luigi two tickets to take you to the movies last night. What did you see? A fuss with William Joe. I hope you sat up a backer with Luigi. Oh, thank you. Three hours, dad. Did Luigi hold you hand? He couldn't, Papa. Couldn't? Or why not? There was a little boy sitting between us. There was a little boy. What was he doing between you and Luigi? What am I going to do? Grosso, what's more important? Do you love the marriage and the kids or just the eating? Don't answer that. Look, you're telling me, little Bambina. When did Luigi brought you home last night? Did you kiss him? No, Papa. Did I talk to him? What do you think? I've got to kiss him? Here, it's a Friday already. I thought you could talk him into taking down that picnic this Sunday. Now he's all tied up with the Americans a day in the park. The problem with that boy is he's so full of Americans that a patriot isn't. He's got to no time to think about a marriage. Only I could have figured out a way to make him feel small. No good. I'm not a wanton. Then he's allowed to come and call him a backer. Let me see. That's good. Grosso, I think I've got an idea. Look at Luigi. Good. And I'm going to do to him. I hate it to be this mean. But what are you going to do when you've got a daughter who weighs 250 pounds? Hello, Mr. Crawley. Hello, little banana nose. Hello, Grosso. Oh! Well, back in the kitchen and eat. Luigi, I was going to bother you about going on a picnic with Grosso this Sunday again. But now I can't because guess what's happened? I don't know what. I just got a telephone call from your night school. What a big honor. Honor? Yes. At first they thought of Judge Halaby Reems who was going to be the only speaker of the day. But now it seems like he's going to be another one. Got to be another one? Who's he going to be? You. Me? I mean, speaking of the 15,000 people of Pascuali, I know that. From a Mrs. Baldwin herself. But why me Pascuali? Why? Well... The people have decided you're going to get your citizen of papers in a two years and so they named you Future American in 1953. You've got to give a speech on how much you want to be an American. But Pascuali, don't say impossible. I'm sure again it's such a big honor. Speak on the same platform with a Judge Reems. What am I going to do? Well Luigi, the two of you ain't going to play canazzo. You happy little punk in the head? But Pascuali, I don't know what to say. I'm just coming from school and Mrs. Baldwin, she's telling me nothing. Well, that's because she's smart. She didn't want to make jokes unless I'm jealous. Ask her also if you don't believe me. Oh, no, no, no, I believe you Pascuali, but... Oh, I'm not me. Future American in 1953. It's the hardest to believe. Then a call up of Mrs. Baldwin. There is no school for a weekend and I'm not going to Mrs. Baldwin and the telephone number. And I'm not going to see her until Sunday in the park. Pascuali, what kind of speech am I going to make? Luigi, I see you make a problem. Naturally, for 15,000 people, it's going to be very important. You ain't just going to read it from a paper like it was a nothing. You've got to memorize it between your heads. Memorize it? Yeah, but it's a Friday night, I'm going to get until Sunday. So why don't you stay up a couple of nights? That's enough, that's enough. As long as the people see your speech, it comes from the heart. Look, Luigi, don't worry, I'm going to help you out with the speech. Oh, you will, Pascuali. Little cabbage birthday. I'm always ready to help you out with any information I got. You know, I could have squeezed the facts out of my head like a sponge. Yeah, that's right, Pascuali. You're biggest sponge ahead, I know. That's a funny thing, when I'm a Saturday to come out of different. Anyway, Luigi, I wasn't thinking of such a big day. You've got to start out a very big, like, distinguished gathering of this esteemed assemblage. What? Pascuali, what's that mean? I don't know, I heard it once at a stag party. But it's very important, distinguished gathering of this esteemed assemblage. Pascuali, if I'm going to get a very speech like that, I'm going to have to stay up every minute for Monaco to Sunday. But it's a work to do, Luigi, you important man. I'm, see, I, I guess I am, man. Oh, now go, go, go, go, you store star of thinking, I'm going to come in later in the house. All right, Pascuali, and I go by any thank you. You're distinguished together, but this is the, this is the esteemed assemblage. Oh, am I going to get even? Wait till he spends the two nights without a speech and finds out I made a fool out of him. Future America in 1953. He's going to feel like the biggest adult for 1951. Before we return to life with Luigi, we'd like to say a word about chewing enjoyment. When you're busy at your job or working around your home, it's really satisfying to chew on a smooth, delicious piece of wriggly spearmint gum. That good, easy chewing goes right along with your work, helps keep you feeling right and makes the job seem easier and pleasanter. The refreshing, long-lasting flavor of wriggly spearmint adds to your enjoyment and gives your mouth a fresh, clean taste. So enjoy chewing wriggly spearmint gum while you work. Get a few packages from the handy display on your friendly Merchants Conference. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother in Italy. And so, mommy, you're not going to believe what the big honor you son of Luigi's got. I'm not going to speak before 15,000 people today in a park. Yes, right. They made me Future American in 1956 and for two days and nights now I had no sleep. But I was awake, my mamma mia, because I got a wonderful speech with a beautiful, big words. Oh, my mamma mia. I'm a hope for every single good because I feel like our chicken Josephine when we took her to the fair and she's lost the egg-laying contest. Yeah, she was so nervous she's a drop everything. Well, now I'm a wet in the park for my friends. Joseph, Joseph, here I am over here. Did you ever see so many people packed together? It's just like Coney Island without sand. The rest of the class. Well, I guess they're going to be handymen. Mamma mia, I'm so nervous. What have you got to be nervous about because we are sitting on the platform? Listen, if they start throwing things at the speaker, you've got plenty of time to talk. What's the matter, Luigi? You sound like a politician who was caught with his hand in the voter's pocket. Joseph, you're going to find out as soon as so. So I'm going to better tell you anyway. I'm speaking it today. Well, I'm glad to hear that, Luigi. What's the matter, you had Lauren Chidol if you couldn't speak the last two days? I'm not sure. Besides the judge, I'm going to speak it too. Ah, Luigi, that's ridiculous. No, it's true. I was selected as a future American of 1953. Yeah, Luigi, don't be... Hello, hello, hello, hello. Listen, fellas, listen. Luigi's trying to tell me that he was elected American for 1953 and he's going to speak today. Luigi. Where did you ever get such an idea? Yeah, the whole thing sounds like a joke. No, no, it's not a joke. Is it true? Ms. Boling has not told you. Well, she's not told you because she doesn't want to help you feel it. So I'm going to spend two days and two nights learning my speech about a distinguished assembly for Luigi's staff. I think maybe you are a little for shimmers. Jokes. Maybe Luigi is right. Maybe Ms. Boling... Ah, stop, all of it. How little we in a schnitzel have had the delusions of the brain. Well, here comes Ms. Boling. Hello, everybody. Don't we look nice in dress shots? Oh, thank you. Ms. Boling. Please, tell him, huh? And I'm supposed to make a speech to her today. What? Ms. Boling, Luigi thinks he's supposed to make a talk. Memorize the whole speech. Ms. Boling, I know Mr. Basker. The judge will be the only speaker on the program today. But Luigi, who told you you were supposed to speak? Mr. Basker. How was the first party? Ms. Boling, here's the setting. You pick me because I'm a future marriageer on 1956. And I'm going to make a speech before all the papers. Mr. Basker, I think Mr. Basker is pulling your leg. Pulling his leg? He just twisted it off. Mr. Basker, you're not friend of mine. You're not friend of mine because you're glad to see me suffer like this. No, no, no. No, no, no. All of you, you're not to my friend. I'm gone. And I'm never coming back to tonight's school again. No, no, no. Hold it for me. But you ain't moving, Luigi. Sorry if I made a joke too much, but don't blame me for what Mr. Basker did. Yeah, but in day and night, I'm going to study this spreadsheet. You are coming behind. No, no, no. I'm not going to sit on the platform. Oh, please, Mr. Basker. I'm going to go home. I'm going to want to sit on the platform. I'm going to discuss with my children. All right, Luigi, you are for it. I'm going to carry it. You feel better now, Mr. Basker. Luigi, Miss Falling is talking to you. You see, Mr. Schultz, how you have to be careful with your humor sometimes. Yeah. Mr. Basker, I could make it up to him. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a disappointing announcement to make. At this time, our guest, Judge Hal B. Reeves, was supposed to address you. However, his plane has been delayed. It seems, therefore, that it remains for me to close the meeting. We will, therefore, rise and all together say... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Mr. Schultz, Mr. Schultz, why not? Mr. Schwieger, we got it here, a fella who could give your speech better than that Washington judge ever thought of making. No, no, Schultz, what are you doing? Listen, everybody. You study the speech for days now. Now what do you say? You're going to hear a speech from one of the gang, one of us, or you want to go home? You better get up there, Mr. Basker. I know you can do it. All right. I present our speaker, Mr. Luigi Basker, from the Schwarlings Club in the North Holstead Street Night Store. Extinguish the... Extinguish the... Extinguish the... Distinguish the... Distinguish the... I mean, I'm... I mean, friends, I'm scared. You're not believable, but two days and two nights I must stay up to memorize the speech and now I must forget everything. All I can think of now is is a boat. It's almost three years ago and I'm coming to America in that boat. America. Then we pass Statue of Liberty, beautiful lady of peace. And I'm a good, how many ways to get off of that boat to hear somebody speak English. And then the boat is a duck and I'm going to run down to the Ganga Plank and then I'm going to never forget it. It was a little boy playing and I'm going to hurt my first American words. Bibbidi-babbidi-bo. I don't know what that means, but... but now I'm a know. A Ligado Shin and a Shin Marusha. That's right. Put them all together, Hannah. Hannah, what do you got there? America. Laugh and sing. America. Work and play. That's America. Joke, how you want it. Speak how you want it. That's America. Americans, don't let nobody tell you. You can't say what you want. You can't vote how you want it. Because then then you change America. Hannah, when you do that then people like me will become Americans. But do we say is no more America? And now I... I want to... Well, I'm thanks for letting me make this picture. May the fire burn. Everybody was so insulted with that talk that they wouldn't even applaud. Now maybe you know enough to stay in your own backyard and stop this Patrick Henry stuff. You would be singing and dancing instead of wanting to kill yourself. Luigi, Luigi was just wonderful. I never heard anything like that. You don't have to say nothing to make up and make me feel good. I know it was terrible. I just talked to my wife Esther. She said the people in the audience was crying. Your Honour, Luigi, and after your speech that was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. A pin? You could hear a cough drop. Mr. Vasco, I'm proud of you. No, please. Oh, please, friends. You're real friends, aren't you? I'm sorry I talked like I did before. But I know I was big fool of my speech. Now can I go home? Mr. Vasco, may I express my deepest gratitude to you for your remarks? Huh? I never saw such a demonstration. That audience was so touched they couldn't applaud. Please, and I know I was a bigger failure. There was another man who thought his speech had failed, Mr. Vasco. It was a dead-his-birth. Just a moment ago you may have heard one man applaud here backstage. I was that man. You? Where are you? The audience is waiting for you, sir. Oh, that's a judge. Help me, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry I was delayed, but I'm happy because it enabled you and me to hear from a speaker far better equipped to make you feel the meaning of this day. I can only say it took an Italian immigrant, a Mr. Luigi Vasco to make me say today that I am an American. I am an American. He's proud. He's proud. I thought it was going to be one of the worst days of my life who was, it turned out, to be the best. After the part, I'm going to come home and read the Gettysburg address. I'm like the best where Lincoln has said this government is of the people, by the people, and for the people. By the people. No kind of change. I'm sure this too pasquale, and he's said that's right, Luigi. And if you want something that's of the people, by the people, and for the people, I'm going to just do what you want, my daughter Rosa. He all over the sun, Luigi Vasco, little immigrant. Ladies and gentlemen, the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi Spearmint Gum is a refreshing tasty treat that's easy to carry with you wherever you go. Just slip a package into your purse or pocket then whether you're working, shopping, walking, or riding in a bus or car, you're always set to enjoy the refreshment of a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint. It cools your mouth, freshens your taste and gives you real chewing enjoyment and satisfaction. Next time you go to the store, remember to get a few packages of healthful, delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum and carry a package or two with you. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is directed by Norman MacDonald. Mack Benhoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Connery as Schultz, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Ship as Miss Baldwin, Joel Forte as Horowitz, and Ken Peters as Olson. In the direction of Bob Glaskin. Bob Stephenson speaking. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting Center.