 Did your relationship start out just fine? Are you wondering what went wrong? Relationships involve engagement and commitment from both parties. You enter new relationships with past hurts, but it's important to be cognizant if or when you're projecting it into or onto a relationship. A relationship can go awry when either party becomes disengaged, fosters resentment, or brings in past conflicts, thus creating a dysfunctional relationship. Dysfunctional relationships can cause distress and strain on the relationship. Eventually the relationship can break down. Many dysfunctional relationships are rooted in childhood when you lack a model of a healthy functional relationship. The patterns that you learn may find a way into a new relationship. In order to avoid, move past, or fix a dysfunctional relationship, we first need to acknowledge our role in the relationship. According to Dr. Stephen Cartman, a transactional psychologist and former student of Eric Byrne, MD. Here are three major archetypes within a dysfunctional relationship. One, victims. Perhaps the most recognizable archetype is the victim. You've seen them depicted in movies and books. They're the relatable protagonists that we love and secretly root for. You root for them because you witness them go from victims to victors. But life is not a movie. You can't wait for others to come in and save you or provide you the support that you need on your journey to transformation. At the crux of a victim personality type is fear. The fear that you'll be or are unable to carry on on your own. There's a negative loop in your head telling you that you can't until you start to believe it. And when you do, you slip into passive control over your life. Some wounds are created in childhood. Perhaps your parents were unavailable physically or emotionally, or you had a dysfunctional relationship in the past. Or sometimes you may be victimizing yourself. Holding onto a victim mentality can be harmful because it can lead to feelings of worthlessness, self-sabotage and possibly depression. According to Professor Kedz DeVries, management scholar and psychoanalyst at INSEED in France, those with a victim mentality unconsciously seek out disappointment in order to create feelings of guilt or pity because it fulfills their desire to receive attention. Psychologists call this secondary game. There are various manifestations of a victim mentality according to Susanna Barlow. Some examples are the doormat, victim of being taken advantage of and feels entitled to support and love from others. The weakling, victim to the belief that they are helpless and feel entitled to inaction, fear and rescue. The patient, victim to your health or lack thereof and entitled to healing and to have someone else be responsible for their healing. The crusader, victim of loneliness or self-hatred and entitled to have others sympathy and victimize those who do not agree with them. And the shadow victim, victim of circumstances and personal perceptions. Two, rescuers. Are you someone who sweeps in like a superhero to save others? The knight in shining armor. But what happens when there is no one to save? Unlike the victim, a rescuer personality type feeds on a rush of cortisol and the ingrained desire to be needed. Rescuing is how you connect with others. You feel a sense of loss or abandonment when others become independent of you because your missions are attached to their sense of self. This personality type can be damaging because those who are rescuers unconsciously seek out those who are vulnerable and need assistance. Rescuers feel essential to their partner's survival, thus creating codependency between the two. At times, rescuers can become enablers of those with a victim personality type, enabling them to forego accountability and responsibility for something they're able to do. Like many personality disorders, the rescuer's role can be linked back to childhood. As a child, where you force to take on the role of an adult due to neglectful parents or other circumstances, it's common for parentified children to adopt the role of rescuer in future relationships. Living in the rescuer role can lead you to develop guilt and resent at all the responsibilities that you feel like you've had to take on. If you notice this kind of personality in yourself or others, you can reach out to a therapist or licensed professional. Some manifestations of a rescuer archetype include the enabler, people who latch on to someone vulnerable because they want to be needed, the white knight or savior, people who enter relationships hoping to fix the other person. Number three, persecutors. Are you someone likely to blow up over insignificant happenings? Do you look for scapegoats for your problems and feel entitled when you lash out? Persecutors are usually controlling, strict, overbearing, and authoritarian. In a relationship, there are oppressive bullies who unleash empty threats. Persecutors are unmoving and eschew vulnerability because they fear becoming victims. The persecutor's role is founded on anger. Sometimes a person with a rescuer personality may shift into the role of a persecutor because they allow resentment to build. However, there are other reasons why some may take on the role of persecutor. Perhaps there is a deep sense of guilt that they're trying to place on someone else. Because they need someone to shoulder the blame, they may shift back into the role of rescuer in order to sustain the relationship. A subtype of persecutor mentality is the bully who victimizes others because they were once victimized. Within a dysfunctional relationship, the roles can often change and you may not always be the victim or persecutor, but it's important to be cognizant of the role you are playing and hopefully address the emotional and thought patterns that urge you into that role. If you've noticed these traits in yourself, reaching out to a licensed professional to address some of your concerns is a good place to start. Do any of these describe your experience? How have you handled a dysfunctional relationship? Would you like to know more about this topic? Leave a comment down below and please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well. If you found this video helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there struggling with dysfunctional relationships. Don't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more new videos. As always, thanks for watching.