 Hi, I'm Matthew Coast, head dating coach and founder of commitmentconnection.com and in this video we're going to talk about struggling with being sure that a man really loves you. And so before we talk about that, if you're struggling to attract the right man into a committed lasting relationship, make sure that you go to my website and at commitmentconnection.com and take my quiz. So today's question comes from a woman in our community who's asking, she says, I struggle to be sure if he really loves me, what should I do? So this is something that happens with, you know, even with parents and children, I come from a family with three, I have three older brothers, so it's a family of four kids, and I'm, you know, I'm the youngest and there's a lot of drama and questioning about mother and fatherly love just going on in the realm of my family alone. And so that's a pretty normal and natural thing that a lot of people end up experiencing due to a lot of different reasons. And, you know, if my advice to you is instead of trying to figure out whether he really loves you or not, which is, I mean, that's really difficult to, it's really difficult to figure that out and to be 100% certain about that. But you can be 100% certain about that will relax you and ease kind of your pain and your questioning around that is making sure that you love yourself and focusing on your feelings of being worthy of love. Because when you feel that you're worthy of love, you'll start to find evidence that the people around you really do love you regardless of who they are, whether they're your parents or whether it's a man that you're in a relationship with. And so really, you know, my suggestion is to focus on loving yourself and feeling worthy and that involves changing the way that you think, changing the way that you feel and changing your behaviors so that they're consistent with someone who is worthy of love. Right. And so what that would look like is, you know, what would you, how would you feel if you knew that he loved you, if you knew that you loved yourself? What would you think if you loved yourself, you know, and how would you behave if you knew that he loved you and you knew that you loved yourself? And getting in a habit of acting in that way is definitely one of the key things that you need to do. And a second thing that you need to do is deal with past trauma or emotional baggage that may be preventing you from feeling lovable. And that can be some really, really deep stuff and just, you know, pinpointing where kind of those feelings originated from, you know, is this a pattern that you experienced in your life? Did you feel this way about your father? And just taking a look at that and kind of exposing it, pulling it out and going through kind of a process of forgiveness, forgiveness of, you know, any men from your past, forgiveness for your, for yourself in the case of feeling like you weren't worthy of love or that, that you were denied love at some point in your life. And then, you know, putting on top of that loving yourself and taking care of yourself and, you know, like we said, changing your thoughts, behaviors and feelings. And if you do those things, then you won't worry nearly as much if at all about whether your partner actually loves you. And so, that's it for this video. If you'd like to know more about what's stopping you from attracting the right man into a committed lasting relationship, make sure you go to my website at commitmentconnection.com and take my quiz. I'm Matthew Kost and I'll speak with you again soon.