 So I just got out of therapy. I usually have therapy on Thursdays, but today is Saturday because she had to reschedule but I'm gonna start doing this. This gonna this gonna be a thing Therapy Thursdays. Okay, cuz I actually want to start encouraging Everyone to go to therapy like whether you feel you have trauma to heal from or not Go to therapy. Okay. In fact, that's one of the requirements on my list for when I'm ready to Be in another relationship You have to be in therapy willing to go therapy or about to start therapy like It's a must. It's so helpful but not only that it helps you to really Start the journey of intentional healing and Healing your inner child, which we all need to do no matter No matter how old you are Or how put together you think you are it is very important. Anyways This is gonna be the first video for that It's awesome is my therapy sessions are always so interesting because I don't necessarily go in Knowing exactly what I want to talk about Yes throughout the week things happen, and I'd be like, I can't wait to therapy But when I actually go in I'm never really like, okay, I'm gonna speak about this this and this But today besides some other things that came up One of the things I was telling my therapist is because last week we spoke about How a very good friend of mine's where we connected with after leaving my last relationship I had a very Vulnerable conversation with him about you know how he showed up for me as a friend and How I feel like he doesn't reciprocate my energy in terms of friendship So his response was pretty much like yeah, I know I could do better whatever but I made it very clear to him that like I Know you have a lot going on and if you're not in this space or have the mental capacity to be The type of friend I need or the type of friend I know you can be and used to be to me Just let me know so that I can make a mental note of that and not expect anything or not hold anything against you or at least Set some healthy boundaries for myself, but he was like no that's not it You know I could do better. I'll do better. So anyways The day is following that conversation was well, but this week my boy went MIA again and I don't know if you watch it's my videos, but if you do, you know, I'm talking about you and that's okay I was just telling her that like I Don't understand why it bothers me so much Like why specifically with him that I feel like when he goes and my am a scholar texts him first or why even though he's not reciprocating my energy that Even though it annoys me or upsets me to a degree I Allow it and when I say I allow it I allow it because if he was to text me today or tomorrow I'm gonna respond and we'll talk like if it's nothing and even if I bring it to his attention that like yo, you never responded to my message or Even checked up on me after you knew I was sick Like I'm gonna allow it So she was asking me So she asked me a very important question and this is when it all made sense This is why therapy is so important and I'm sharing something very surface with y'all But we be it'd be some deep shit going on in therapy, but this is very surface But it's just a simple example of how Therapy helps you answer your own questions. She asked me What are you attached to when it comes to him? And I was like, that's a good question. So I said maybe it's how it's because of how we Spent time together the last time I was You know in his presence like he took me out. He opened doors for me He paid for everything like I felt really comfortable. She was like so the time you spent with him How did that make you feel and the first thing I said was I felt safe And I'd stop myself in my tracks like I was like, wow, I felt safe for someone Else that might not be a big deal, but like for my specific situation I spent so much time not feeling safe in a relationship That the fact that he made me feel safe It's huge for me like I'm attached to that feeling not necessarily him but I'm attached to that feeling of feeling safe and She was like You felt safe you felt love you felt taking care of these are all things that you had stopped feeling in your previous Relationship so he was the first person to bring that feeling back I That is what you're attached to you're afraid that if you were to set some serious boundaries with this person You will no longer have that feeling and you have to remind yourself that you are safe and remember to seek that feeling from within you know and she's so right like it was just Everything was just spot on okay, like it made so much sense afterwards and Because every night like I was just praying for clarity. I'm like somebody please explain to me why I Have such an attachment to this person Like why is it I allow this type of behavior Like the lack of communication just going MIA not responding to messages Not being thoughtful like Bruh the last thing I told you is that I don't feel good so You're not concerned About if I feel better or not like so it's just like Because I know she was like, what do you want? I was like the thing is I know what I want I have a list I wrote a list of everything I want in my in for the next time I decided to Be in a partnership with somebody being a relationship with somebody and the thing about it like with him right now It's strictly friendship like it's not even Anything else so it's not like I'm looking for a relationship with him Right now I'm not but if you can't even be a good friend Then why do I expect you to be a good anything else like I'm not even trying to sound mean because the fact about this situation is that I I will always have a level of love for this man That I can't really explain just because of our history But I also have to have a level of respect for myself And not compromise what I know I deserve and my values and my wants and needs for him so Anyways, I Don't want these videos to be long. I just wanted to share with y'all what my therapy session was about today Not about because that was like the last Maybe discussed the last 15 or 20 minutes in my session but I wanted to share that because it was just so insightful and I have so much more clarity now and Although this doesn't change the way I feel at least now I am aware of what is causing the feeling so that When I have those moments of feeling like oh, I wonder if he's gonna call me. I wonder if he's gonna text me I wonder if he's thinking of me. Yeah, I can just remind myself like you're safe. It's okay You deserve better. You deserve the best friends. You deserve the best Partnerships you deserve to be loved You deserve to be loved in the way that you love yourself So it's like it starts with me So you're gonna I'm gonna love and respect myself enough to know that I'm not accepting anything Mediocre I'm not gonna accept anything bare minimum and I'm not gonna lower my standards Whether it comes to friendships or relationships And when I say relationships, I mean like romantic relationships So, yeah That's about it. Anyways Here's to the first Therapy Thursday and if you are not in therapy or have Never gone to therapy. I highly suggest you look into it because it's top tier Anyways to all of my melanated women protect your room by any means necessary and to everyone watching Protect your peace by any means necessary I wish you all love light and prosperity and you will see me in my next video Peace