 There was a pattern in my relationship. And my dad was like, all right, let's look at the only thing that does not change in all your relationships. Like the one factor that does not change. And he was like, what is it? Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better, yeah. For black men who are interested in black women, joining a union long term union with black women, but are running into black women who are the product of some of the things that you've seen. I've heard a quote that it's like, trauma keeps you at the age you were when you experienced it. So a lot of guys are saying, oh, these women are immature. These women are promiscuous. How would you encourage or advise those men on how to navigate black women who have been in your care, for instance? I think the first step is just going in with the mindset that you have to have the utmost patience with them. Once you understand that, I feel like, and being mild, if you can, being mild-mannered with them as well. Because, again, they're going to respond to certain stimuli differently than expected. You might be thinking, or the man might be thinking, I just, you asked me something, and I was just like, OK, whatever. And I just walked away. And it just causes her to explode instead of matching that explosive energy. Just keeping your calm and just being more vocal. I think just vocalizing appropriately, of course. But asking them not what's wrong, that's never, I mean, it just depends on the person. But giving them that time to cool off and just knowing, learning their triggers, having deep conversations with them, not the, what's your favorite color? What do you like to eat? And it is not like, OK, listen, now we're going to talk about our childhood. But if you see something like an old show from when you were younger, and it makes you think of how, oh, I remember watching this when I was at my grandma's house, and my cousins would be there, and whatever, whatever. And then, OK, so do you remember this show? And then taking it into a deeper conversation. And it's not always, they're not always going to open up right then and there. But just showing them that you're being, that you care about them overall, and you want to get to know their dark places. If they want you to enter into that dark place with them, and just being intentional about your relationships, like yes, social media is all about the, oh, he took me out. He flew me out, and we did this, and he's buying me this. But what they're not showing is those moments where your childhood trauma creeps up. It could be a good day, and you see something, or you hear something, and that changes your whole mood. How does your black man that you're in a relationship with, how does he respond to that? How is he helping you get through these times? How is he helping you navigate these feelings that you're having? Sometimes you can't always put a word to how you're feeling. You just know I don't want to be touched. I just feel like crying right now. Or I'm just angry, and I don't know why I'm angry. So I think black men, keeping that in mind, but also understanding that regardless of what your profession is as a black woman, you gonna face backlash, especially if you're in an environment where it's predominantly white. That's something in itself, because we can't be seen as angry. If we go against what is being presented to us, oh, then you're angry, then you're not a team player, or standing firm in what you're saying, then it's an issue. So we already have all of that. And then you couple that with childhood trauma, or just not feeling like you could communicate with the person that you're with because you don't want to be judged, or your soul used to be seen as strong. You feel like you have to be strong as a black woman, and you have to be a superhero. And just knowing that the man that you're with, your black man, is going to be that source of comfort, and just a judgment-free zone. And if I am feeling this way, but I don't know how to articulate it, that you're not going to go off on me, or just completely leave the area that I'm in altogether when, in reality, I may, once you near me, I just don't know if I want to be touched right now. I don't know if I want to be talked to right now. So I think it's any few words that could narrow down what a black man needs to know when being involved with a black woman, but I think just being patient, being my man, or being that, paying attention to the nonverbal cues as well. That's huge. It's going to be difficult, because everybody deals with things differently, but. Naturally, I think there's going to be a comment from a brother that he's going to say, I did all those things. I was patient. I was kind. I was a commoner. I was mild mannered, and she did me dirty. And sometimes she did me dirty and left me for a dirty dude who was the complete antithesis of everything that I was. Help him understand what happened. So I think that in that instance, and I think the only way that I can answer truthfully is to personalize it. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. So in that instance, fellas, she's not and has not been working on herself. You, one day I can say, I am a huge daddy's girl, and I love that my dad is always real with me. And there was a pattern in my relationships. And my dad was like, all right, let's look at the only thing that does not change in all your relationship. He's like, the one factor that does not change. And he was like, what is it? And I thought about it. Every relationship. And I was like, this shouldn't be this hard. And then I thought, I was like, it's me. You know, it's me. Yes, I'm with different men, but it's me. And I'm allowing these things to happen. Or I'm just flying off the handle in that instance. But a man could be doing everything right, supporting the woman the way that she should. But if she is not working, she's not actively working on herself, none of that matters. And for certain women, I've had some friends say, it's just easier to be how I am right now. This is all I know. I don't want to be any different. And I get that. Take me as I am. Yes, exactly. Because it might be too difficult to go down that path of why am I like this? How can I get better?