 Grape Nuts Flakes program, the first radio program to come to you from Williamsfield near Chandler, Arizona, starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis A. Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. You know, friends, the other night I saw a movie about a young man as rich and distinctive as, well, as the rich, distinctive flavor of Grape Nuts Flakes. And he met a young girl as truly appealing as, well, as an appealing bowl full of Grape Nuts Flakes. And when they got married, they lived as happily as, well, as happily as folks who have that grand-tasting Grape Nuts Flakes at breakfast every morning. Well, friends, the moral of the story is just this. You'll find malty, rich, sweet as a nut Grape Nuts Flakes that the Grape Nuts Flakes bring you your form of delicate, toasty brown flakes. A flavor that's utterly distinctive because it's a two-grain blend of sun-ripened wheat and malted barley. Toasted gold and brown and Grape Nuts Flakes, America's fastest-growing cereal. Solved for a smooth-tasting, delicious breakfast treat, asked for Grape Nuts Flakes in the thrifty 12-ounce package. Hey, Mr. Jones, playing by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, from Williams Field near Chandler, Arizona, we bring you a man who, after a week under the blazing Arizona sun, no longer looks like a frog's belly in the moonlight. Jack Benny! Oh, thank you. Hmm, frog's belly in the moonlight. Jaloh again. I mean, Grape Nuts Flakes again. This is Jack Benny speaking. And, Don, although you put it rather crudely, there's no question about it. I do look much better with my desert tan. Yes, Jack, you certainly do. Why not? I'm outdoors all the time, horseback riding, swimming. I tell you, Don, I feel like a million dollars. I mean, 25,000. You can't feel like a million, I mean. You know, Don, this Arizona sunshine seems to have done you a lot of good, too. Oh, it has, Jack. Every afternoon, I've been taking a sun bath up on the roof of my hotel. You? You take sun baths on the roof? That's a little dangerous, isn't it? What do you mean, dangerous? Well, there are a lot of planes flying around here. And from 10,000 feet, you must look like a landing field. Well, really, I'm not kidding. Oh, now, be reasonable, Jack. From 10,000 feet in the air, I look like an ant. Well, it must be that fat ant of yours that lives in Denver. I know a landing field when I see one. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Well, get a load of you. What a tan you've got. Haven't I, though? Tell you, Mary, I look just like those toasty brown grape nut flakes. Yeah, but they still shake like jello. I do not. I'm the picture of health. Gosh, I've been outdoors all week. Well, why don't you get a room? I've got a room. I'm living at the Arizona Beltmore, and what a ritzy place that is. The Arizona Beltmore isn't even opened yet. All right, so I have to make my own bed. A little bending over isn't going to hurt, but that hotel is lovely. Your kids will have to, you know, you kids will have to come out and visit me. Oh, I'd love to, Jack. Which room are you in? Oh, you can't miss it. It's the one with the boards knocked off the window. But do come over. Imagine moving into a hotel that isn't even open. That's the cheapest thing I ever... All right, all right. Forget it. Where are you living? I'm at the Westbrook Hole, and it's one of the most beautiful hotels in Phoenix. It is, eh? But you wouldn't like it. It's got maize and bellboys and telephones and everything. You're right. I'd rather rough it at the Beltmore. That's me, huh? Tell me, Mary, have you been having a lot of fun this week in Phoenix? Soldiers and cowboys? How can I miss? You're always thinking of men. What's the matter with you? Perfectly normal. Look it up. I don't mean that. Hey, Jackson, ain't it wonderful here in Arizona? They ain't nothing like them wide open spaces. Oh, hello, hello, Phil. Yes, yes, it is. And the climate is so grand. Yeah, this air's the nuts. That's because there's very little humidity. Who? Who what? Humidity, stupid. That means no moisture. I know what it means. I also know how to pronounce it, but I'll be darned if I'll tell you. Say, where are you living, Mellonhead? See, I'm glad I put that in. I'm getting, Phil, where are you? Well, look, Jackson, I'm staying at a beautiful place. It's called the Camelback Inn. Oh, at the Camelback Inn? Having a good time? Well, I've gone without water for seven days. That's typical of you, Phil. You come to a beautiful place like this and you don't get any rest at all. What are you talking about? I'm under the bed every night by 10 o'clock. Well, Phil, I'd like to ask you why you don't sleep on top of the bed, but I know your orchestra is there. By the way, you and your boys came all the way from Hollywood on the Santa Fe bus, did you? Oh, but my guitar player, he bought a new pair of shoes and he wanted to break them in. Oh my goodness. Now I've heard everything. Say, Mr. Benny, I was wondering if I could dedicate my song tonight to my... Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello. Say, Mr. Benny, I was wondering if I could dedicate... What? What'd you say? I was wondering if I could dedicate my... How do you feel out here in the desert, kid? Oh, fine. Good. I had a slight case of cactus in my seat, but it's all out there. Well, there's a lot of it going around. I know about that. Jack backed into a cactus the other night. Never mind. And he had to take off his pants with a pair of tweezers. All right, all right. Say, Mr. Benny, I was wondering if I could dedicate my song tonight to a girlfriend of mine. I'm singing Conchita. Oh, oh, is that your girlfriend's name? Conchita? No, Babe Marks. Well, what's the, what's the connection between Conchita and Babe Marks? Well, she Conchita more than any girl I ever met. Dennis, you better get a big hat. The sun here is taking advantage of you. He was a handsome young Irish lad. She was a Mexican beauty. It would be yes, and I might as romantically, he wasn't beauty. Oh, boy. In 64. Quita marquita, lo lita, pepita, rosita, Juanita Lopez. Oh, you. Conchita marquita, lo lita, pepita, rosita, Juanita Lopez. Men who play their lips for their, as they dance, I heard, as they roam. I'm not choking if you're in hope, oh, can drop in for a minute, and you. Conchita, lo lita, pepita, rosita, Juanita, oh, cool. Patsy and Molly and Mike, and Jose and Pancho and Pedro and Pancho and Tommy and Timmy and Spike, and brothers. They're older and they go, there's no more to my song now. Quita Lopez sung by Dennis Day. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I have a very important announcement to make. Last Monday afternoon, Jack Benny went to an official automobile graveyard in Los Angeles and contributed his famous Maxwell to the junk salvage drive. Yep. Little Maxie has gone to do her bit in the war effort. So at this time, folks, we would like to reenact for you all that took place on that historic occasion. God, did I make history? Well, I certainly, they want to take Paul Revere out of the school books and put you in. Oh, stop. I know better than that. John Paul Revere, what a sailor he was. Oh, quiet. Continue, Don. Jack felt that his whole radio gang could be present to take a farewell ride in that old jalopy. So he told us to be at his house at three o'clock sharp, and we'd all ride to the junction. Imagine, imagine turning a car like this into the junk file while the motor is in wonderful condition. Wonderful condition? Yes. I lifted up the hood yesterday and the spark plug was playing ring around the fan belt. That's a lie because I'm wearing the fan belt. You know, fellas, I realized I should give my car to the salvage drive, but gee, you can't blame a fella for being blue and all choked up. Did the laundry shrink your collar? No. Pay attention. That's sentimental. Take it easy, Rochester. No use getting another ticket for speeding. Holy smoke, Jackson. You mean to say you got a ticket for speeding in this car? That's right, Mr. Harris. Our bumper got hooked to a fire truck. I don't care how it happened, we were going like the wind. Now watch what you're doing, Rochester, and grab ahold of the steering wheel. I'll catch it the next time it comes back. Well, you better imagine after all these years parting with my little Maxwell. Oh boy, hey, look at that gorgeous blonde standing on the corner there. Where, where, who, what, what, where? Oh yeah, I see her. Oh, Jack, put down that telescope. Well, I know the girl, it's Shirley Truebucket. Hello, hello, sir. Turn here, Rochester, that junkyard is down on Western Avenue. I'll be around here somewhere. There's the sign, Jack, official automobile graveyard. Oh yeah. Turn in here, Rochester. Okay. And watch that curve. Well, that's it, fellas. That was our last trip. Our last ride in the Maxwell. I'll buy a drink. Never mind. Oh, yes, sir. What can I do for you? I'm Jack Benny. Are you the head man in this junkyard? I'm not wearing this carnation in my overalls for nothing. Oh, oh, yes. Well, I've got a car here I'd like to turn into the salvage drive. This is it right here. Well, we do need junk, but aren't you overdoing it, old man? Look, buddy, scrap is scrap. Now, how much am I offered? The rate we're paying here is $7 a ton, so I can give you about $7.50. $7.50. Now, wait a minute, Mr. I've got a lot of extras on this car. Princess the radio and the fog light. This cigarette lighter? What cigarette lighter? Right there. That's a candle. Well, if you can't light a cigarette with a candle, brother, you ought to give up smoking. Now, how much am I offered? It's still $7.50. Oh. Now, you can have cash, but if you like, I'll pay you in war stamps. Well, I'll take the war stamp. Yes, sir. Would you like a wet sponge or have you strength enough to lick them? Yes, give me the stamp. I'll handle it. Thanks. Well, that's that. Come on, Jack. Let's get going. Yep. Gotta get going, I guess. Yes, sir. Come on, Jackson. Let's get out of here. Yep. Gotta leave my little Maxi. Oh, well, it's for a good cause. Yep. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go. Yeah. Let's go. Well, come on. Come on, Rochester. I'm coming, boss. I'm coming. Oh, stop bawling or you'll have me doing it too. Come on, let's get out of here. It is several hours later and Jack has returned to his home in Beverly Hills and as we pick him up now, it's about bed time. Five years. Five years, I've had that little Maxwell. Now it's gone forever. Well, I might as well turn in, I guess. Get my pajamas out, Rochester. I put a night shirt right there on the bed, boss. Not a one-night shirt. Been getting cold lately and a night shirt creeps up on me. This one won't do any creeping. I put stirrups on it. Good. Good. I don't think I'll bother creaming my face tonight. Billy, I'm too tired. My complexion is all right. But I've got some new stuff from the drug store. Betty Bunger's Beauty Bomb. Well, what's that? It says here, put it on and take a snooze, clear the wrinkles on face and shoes. Well, just put it on my shoes tonight. I'm all in. Good. Here, hang up my pants and other shirt. Well, good evening, Mr. Billingsley. Good evening, Mr. Vanney. Strip for your physical, I see. No, no. I'm just getting ready for bed. I've been very restless lately. Well, in that case, you must try one of my new sleeping pills. Here you are. But, Mr. Billingsley, this isn't a pill. It's a baseball bat. Well, if that doesn't do the trick, you ought to see a doctor. Well, thanks anyway. Don't mention it. Good night, Mr. Vanney. Good night. Oh, I haven't seen her in years. Who's a strange fellow? Boy, you buy all in. Pleasant dreams, boss. Brace yourself. Rochester, put down that baseball bat. You're as bad as he is. Gosh, this bed sure feels good. Well, how I can sleep with my Maxwell all busted up in that junkyard? I don't know. Boss, why don't you look at it this way? Before you know it, the scrap from your car is going to be part of a battleship or a tank or an airplane. Gee. I tell you, boss, if everybody in the country turned in their old junky cars and dug up all the scrap they could, there wouldn't be no shortage of nothing, especially victory. You're right, Rochester. Absolutely right. Well, good night. Good night, Mr. Vanney. If you're hot water, bottle, spray the leak, just put a Band-Aid on it. I will. You know, wonder, I'm tired. Gee, I practically helped Henry Kaiser build a ship today. Gosh, just think. Little Maxi's going to be a ship or a tank or maybe an airplane, $7 a ton. Bombardier Benny. Gee, that's me. I'm a Bombardier. Calling Bombardier Benny. Coming. Coming, sir. Bombardier Benny reporting. Did you call me, sir? Yes. What kept you? Sorry, I was creaming my face. What's up, sir? There's a bomber waiting outside and you're assigned to the crew. Your destination is Tokyo. Tokyo? Yes. Are you ready? I sure am Colonel Bridget. I'm all set to shove off. Good. You'll find your bomber on the north runway. The pilot's warming up the plane now. Wait a minute. I forgot my radio. My fog light. And my cigarette lighter. Here's a candle. A candle? Yes. If you can't light a cigarette with a candle, you ought to take off that fan belt. Colonel's in a happy mood today. Oh, boy, Tokyo. I'm going to blow that joint to smithereens or my name ain't Bombardier Benny. Nice up here. How high are we, Rochester? At seven dollars a ton, that's a fortune. Well, we're off. Oh, oh, there's a red light up ahead. Well, it just turned green. Step on it. Is that the Pacific Ocean Navigator? It sure is, Jackson. Fist carnation in my nose for nothing. Well, according to the calculations I just computed on my Mercator chart, we're at the zenith of the apex. Longitude 42, latitude 51, the wind velocity of seven dollars a ton. What does that mean? Where are we? St. Joe, Missouri. Tokyo. Hey, I hope we brought enough bombs with us. For Tokyo without a bomb. I'll take a few of those, miss. Do you want a wet sponge with them or can you drop them yourself? Yourself? Oh, I haven't seen her in years. What's the matter, Rochester? We're running the bed where the boss looked at that cloud up ahead. Where? Well, I know that cloud. It's Don Wilson. Chin up. We find Sally Yoshimoto waiting for her husband Togo. That's the Japanese radio. We must be on the beam all right. We've got to get ready. Where's my machine gunner, Shirley Trubucka? Here I am, Mr. Benny. It won't be long now. I ought to be around here someplace. Look, Mr. Benny, there's a big island right down below us. And that city there in the middle of it is Tokyo. Tokyo? I get said, Harris, we're going into a dive. I wouldn't drink with them lousy life for a minute. Rochester, I just had the most wonderful dream. I dreamt I was bombing Tokyo. Tokyo? Did you blow it off? What a dream. The industry in America is homemaking. Whereas a homemaker, you help to sustain the health and stamina of the home front. And to help you on that job, our government's national nutrition program tells you how to plan menus wisely. To get each day plenty of the essential foods which promote health and vitality. Now that includes whole grain cereals, cereals such as delicious toasty brown grape nut flakes. Where grape nut flakes are a whole grain cereal, so they supply important whole grain food values such as iron, niacin, and vitamin B1. Food values which every one of us need every day to help keep ourselves in robust good health. Yes, grape nut flakes at breakfast will give you a mighty good start on your daily nourishment needs. Solve for a grand nutritious breakfast dish that's chuck full of delicious flavor, make it malty rich, sweet as a nut, grape nut flakes tomorrow morning. Last number of the third program in the grape nut flakes series. All kidding aside, ladies and gentlemen, automobile scrap must furnish five million of the 30 million tons of steel scrap needed to maintain steel production at its current rate. So sell your old jalapeno to an automobile graveyard and help keep the steel mills rolling. I want to thank Colonel Bridget and Colonel Grill for their friendly cooperation here at Williams Fields. It was a real pleasure to dedicate this new theater here at the post. Fine building, no powder room. Well, it's for the soldier. Good night, Paul. This program is for the entertainment of army personnel and does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of its product by the War Department. Have you treated your family to grape nut sweet meal? It's the new hot cereal that's extra nourishing, extra delicious, extra speedy. Grape nut sweet meal is a nourishing whole grain hot cereal. Every tempting steaming bowl full is rich with the goodness of roasted wheat with a texture that's smooth but full bodied and it cooks in just three minutes. So ask your grocer for the rich hot brown cereal, grape nuts, wheat meal. This program came to you from Williams Field in Arizona. This is a broadcasting company.