 During the dating period, you know, after like four or five months of dating, I just wondering at what point does it get, do you have to pay, did the woman have to pay when they go out? The guy is asking that I should, there should be half and half at that point when you were ready. At what point? When you already been dating for four or five months. Right. Look, okay. Okay. I just got to stop and say I love Matthew's reaction here to her, you know, just that little laugh. It was just, I thought was, I just loved it to give you a quick answer on firstly, I think we should just deal with the who should pay thing to begin with. When you're on a date, who should pay? Okay. Once again, as a guy speaking, I love Matthew's reaction here. Let's just keep going and see what he has to say. I know. I mean, that's what I told him, you know, I'm sorry, I would say, I'm dating, we're dating. But here's the, okay. He's supposed to pay. Yeah. But you're supposed to have sex with him whenever he says, no, whenever, well, what's where, but what's the, where does this double standard come from? All right. We have to talk about this double standard for a second because that's so true. There's this kind of, you know, if a guy said, I want to have sex with you on the first date, of course you're going to react this way. So why shouldn't a man react the same way if you have an expectation that he must pay for the date? But let's just keep going to see what Matthew has to say. Okay. So I'm sorry, it's the reality. You guys can, you can, you can moan at it or you want, but the moment you say to a guy, you have to fucking pay for my time, you're saying this relationship isn't equal. This relationship isn't equal. My time is worth more than yours. So you should pay for it. Okay. He makes a very good point there about time. Now I know many of you are going to say, well, I spend so much time getting dressed up and I spend all this money to get dressed up. But my reaction to that is, do you do the same with your girlfriends when you get dressed up for a date? You say, I just spent all this money getting dressed up for it to, for us to go out on the town together. You have to pay for my, for my, my makeup, my hair, my clothing. Come on. This is, I think he's making a really good point. So let's keep going here. I wonder what paradigm that sets up. Here's my view. If you go on a date with a guy and you don't offer to pay your share, you weren't taught right. If you go on a date and he doesn't pay, he wasn't taught right. I love what he just said here. I can tell you right now. If I was dating someone and they never offered to pay, I wouldn't be dating them. I can tell you that now. If they never offered to pay, I would not be dating them because I'd say, this is the most polite they're ever going to be. And they're not even trying to pay now. What does that say about my future? But I, I, look, this, okay, what does he say about his future? Well, what he's trying to say here and what I really lean into mostly is like, look, I'm seeking a partner in my life. This, this paradigm, listen, back when the day where men made all the money, of course they paid for everything. Now we're in an environment where women are equally making as much money as men in some cases more. Now I'm not talking about the pay wage type of thing. I'm talking about the fact that if a woman makes $150,000 a year and a man makes $125,000 a year in that relationship, she is making more money. Now collectively they're making $2.75. But when it comes to the dating process, I'm in agreement with here on Matthew. It's not, it should not be based on an expectation. Now here's the thing, and he's going to share this in a few minutes. He's going to talk about, look, if the person who makes the most should be contributing the most, that makes total sense. But in the early stage of dating, this is a getting to know you period. We don't even know if we want to be in a relationship with you. Maybe think about that. The early stage of dating, we don't know if we want to be in a relationship with you. So why should it be on the man to have to pay for the privilege of getting to know you? I just want to lean into that for a second, but let's hear what Matthew has to say. Let me comment this from a different angle. I would, I would be treating, I will always treat my partner how I would treat my best friend. And I wouldn't apply a different standard to my partner than my best friend. I wouldn't go, I wouldn't say to my best friend, let's always go out to dinner and, and you always pay. I'd say, let's be teammates here in whatever way we can. And maybe, by the way, proportionately what you can do is less than what he can do. Exactly what I said. If he says to you, I want to go stay at the top hotel in Big Sur this weekend. And it's 1500 bucks a night. And you say, I can't, I don't have the money. It's his job to say it doesn't matter. I didn't do it so you could pay. I did it because I want to go and I want to take you. Great. That's what that is, right? Or if you both agree to go on holiday and you have a fifth of his earning potential, you say, I want exactly what I was talking about, exactly what I was talking about. But you get what I'm saying, right? I will contribute on the level I can contribute. Let me tell you what means something to a guy. This is important. Yes. That means something to a guy. When he feels that you're not even trying to contribute, that's when he feels used. Because any guy who's really confident and self-respecting, if the woman never is even trying to contribute, he feels like he's being taken advantage of. OK, I'm going to jump in here now because I'm going to share a story I've shared with you many a time. And I want to lean into this for a second. I tell you the story about one of the first dates I ever had with a woman where we went to a dive bar and I paid for the first round of drinks. And it was time for the second round of drinks. And when I was about ready to pay, she pulls out her credit card and hands it to the bartender. And I looked at her and I said, no, I've got it. And she looked at me and says, I've got it. And I looked at her and I say, I've got it. And she looked at me and said, I've got it. And we got in a little pissing match. Now, I know all you feminine energy coaches are going to say, she was in her masculine energy trying to control. What happened next blew me away. And this is what piggybacks on Matthew's story is this. She put her hand on my arm and looked me in the eye and said, Jonathan, I really appreciated you treated for that first round. Will you allow me to show my appreciation by treating you because I think you're worth it. Can you receive? And ladies, I was floored in that moment. And in that moment, I also got triggered. I triggered in the sense of, you know what? This person could be a partner in my life. This is a person that actually is caring about me. But more importantly, she cares about the we in the relationship. And I shared this in a group of 15,000 men in a Facebook group I was in. And over a thousand men responded to this story that I shared. Do you know what the man said? She's a partner. She's a one of a kind. She's a unicorn. Don't ever let her go. Folks, this whole conversation about paying for dates needs to be thrown out the window. Because in my opinion, you should both be wanting to treat the other person instead of coming at it from a place of expectation. And I love how Matthew humbled the room in that moment to share his point of view. And this video is several years old. And I'm glad it's making a comeback right now. And I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon. All right, I know I'm going to be criticized for this. So I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below. Feel free to rip me if you don't like what I have to say. And at the same time, if you value what he shared and what I shared, post a comment. Hit that like button. Share this with your friends. Okay, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Jotham Barrow of self-love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear, a pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now. Bye, bye-bye.