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100 Seinfeld quotes [Episode 2]

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Uploaded on Sep 22, 2010

A mashup of many random, funny Seinfeld moments. Putting this video together has been a process of experimentation, playing around with all sorts of different connections between some of my favourite clips from the show..

I honestly think there's a Seinfeld moment for every little thing that happens in life!

Please RATE & COMMENT and tell us what your favourite Seinfeld moment is, if I've missed it in this video!


Video by danere1
Music by The Mar-Keys

GEORGE: What happened, something must have happened!?
GWEN: It's not you, it's me.
GEORGE: She tried to give me the "it's not you it's me" routine.
JERRY: But that's your routine!
GEORGE: The thing that bothers me the most is the lying.
LOIS: What do you do?
GEORGE: I'm an architect / Actually I'm a writer / I'm a communist / I'm a bad man / I'm a gay man / I'm a bootlegger / I was a Marine Biologist / My name's Buck Naked I'm a porno actor
GEORGE: Just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.
SUSAN: So George, what does Art Vandelay import?
GEORGE: Matches...
JACKIE: Lying and laughing.
GEORGE: Aargh!
JACKIE: Laughing and lying.
GEORGE: Laughing and lying and laughing.
GEORGE: What kind of a person are you?
JERRY: Shut up you old bag!
JERRY: I think I'm pretty much like you, only successful.
GEORGE: My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
ESTELLE: Oh my god.
KRAMER: What-delay industries?
GEORGE: Vandelay, say Vandelay!!
JERRY: And you wanna be my latex salesman.
ELAINE: The truth... you want the truth?
NEWMAN: You are nothing but a piece of crap...
KRAMER: ...just sit around all day, you contribute nothing to society!
JERRY: Look at you, you're disgusting.
NEWMAN: I find you extremely ugly.
JERRY: You're bald, you're paunchy, all kinds of sounds are emanating from your body...
NEWMAN: You emit a foul and unpleasant odour.
RON: Oh is that right?
JERRY: I mean, how could I be with someone like you.
GEORGE: You're pretentious!
JERRY: I can't be with someone like me. I hate myself!
GEORGE: You sicken me, you disgust me. You and everyone like you!
NEWMAN: I loathe you!
KRAMER: Oh it starts with a few jokes and some slurs...
KRAMER: Hey pig.
JEAN PAUL: Aw, look at the cute little bastard.
GEORGE: You tell that son-of-a-bitch...
GEORGE: ...the jerkstore called. They're running out of you.
JERRY: What the f@# you doing you little piece of s$@#!?
BOOKMAN: I've seen you're type before. Flashy, making a scene...
HELEN: You were making out during Schindler's List?
NEWMAN: Yes! And a more offensive spectacle I cannot recall.
JERRY: Newman!
ELAINE: He took it out.
SHEILA: Oh my god!
JERRY: The timeless art of seduction.
NANCY: It feels like aliens poking at my body.
FRANK: You want a divorce, you got one!
JERRY: That's a shame.
GEORGE: I'm family, I'm having sex with the cousin...
ELAINE: ...five times a week.
KRAMER: Ooh baby.
ELAINE: Oh man.
GEORGE: I've been lying to ya for three days and now you're all screwing me!
ELAINE: Get out!
ESTELLE: Why do you eat so fast, you can't even taste it!
FRANK: We're moving right into Del Boca Vista!
JERRY: You're parents are crazy!
GEORGE: I know, they're out of their mind!
FRANK: You saying, you want a piece of me?
RAQUEL: That's it, you're going down.
ELAINE: I could drop you like a bag of dirt.
DUGGAN: Reooow!
KRAMER: Yeah catfight!
WALTER: Reow!
ELAINE: Jerry doesn't want to talk to you, so why don't you just drop dead...
GEORGE: ...and if I have to tell you again we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like.
NEWMAN: You're honor, Mr Kramer is obviously very distraught.
KRAMER: Oh I'm distraught...!
ELAINE: I don't like this thing, and here's what I'm doing with it!
KRAMER: Please!
JERRY: Oh you hung up on my Nanna?
KRAMER: I take it all back, every word!
JERRY: You told Nanna to drop dead?!
SIDRA: I think you're both mentally ill.
RUSSEL: Get a good look, Costanza?
JERRY: It was cleavage in the area.
SIDRA: And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular.
JERRY: Don't you see what's going on here. No boxers, no jockeys.
ELAINE: Ewwww
JERRY: The only thing between us and him is a thin layer of Gabardine.
KRAMER: I'm out there Jerry and I'm loving every minute of it!
GEORGE: Jerry, be careful. There's a lot of nuts out there.
FRANK: What the hell does that mean?
GEORGE: Alright, let's just stay calm here.
RON: That's it, get out of my store.
GEORGE: Don't get all crazy on me.
NEWMAN: Make us.
RON: I'll make you.
FRANK: You want a piece of me? You got it!!
KRAMER: The air conditioner!
JERRY: Game over.

Also check out "100 Seinfeld Quotes", feautures:
Elaine: Stella!
Jerry: Not that there's anything wrong with it!
Elaine: Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
Kramer: I'm out!
Jerry: She had man-hands.
George: Serenity now!
Jerry: He's a bit of a low talker.

  • Purchase

    • "SEINFELD S01E01 The Seinfeld Chronicles Pilot - Season 1 - Episode 1" (Amazon.com)
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    • Standard YouTube License

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