 Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhs, thank you for those who are attending and the first timers or returners we're trying to make this difference so hopefully different stories for different experiences. Now we're going to introduce. Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhs, my name is Ahmed Al-Kubaisi and that's my second time here doing the special needs iftar yeah. So today's topic we're going to talk about first of all our injuries how we became in wheelchairs and then of course how we struggle and endure during Ramadan and of course in our daily life activities outside of Ramadan within the community and outside the community especially in the Masjidur. So typically for me back in the last day of Ramadan in 2006 actually so this will be my 18 year anniversary as in the wheelchair at the end of this Ramadan. I fractured if anyone knows there's anatomy or spinal cord T4, 5, 6, 7, 8 the thoracic area basically the chest area where I fractured all my bones and severed my nervous system and now I'm left paralyzed completely chest down if you want an analogy how that feels I like to use the comparison of being buried in deep sand up to your chest level and so you feel like you're trying to move or wiggle your toes but you're trapped and that's how it feels and the effects of the spinal cord injury I no longer have bladder or bowel control and so that means I have to use an instrument to help me to relieve myself and of course there are a lot of secondary issues with the nervous system there's a lot of neuropathic pain that I have to deal with as well with other issues like urinary tract infections and low uncalcium in my bones. Yeah so me I had my injury also in 2007 and then it's been a long journey but to be honest now I'm so happy I'm so thankful about the life that I'm living and so my injury was a gunshot by American a sniper so I'm from Iraq and that was by the end of the war to Iraq and also the the it's only one bullet hit me on my bag and come out from my chest and keep me paralyzed I had a lot of health issue during that time and but I never give up I was always pushing forward and trying to improve my life but was the first goal for me at that time is to leave my country and go somewhere else because unfortunately after the war or even during the war when the war starts we start losing medical in my country there is no healthcare at all or if there is some it's very very basic and therefore so I decided to take myself away from that environment and I moved to Jordan at that time was in 2010 I moved to Jordan I made that decision by myself and then I went out with a lot of health issue from my country and then also made that decision it wasn't easy at that time to go by myself on the wheelchair so I went I moved to Jordan and then I start you know here and there looking for a treatment and looking for a solution for myself at that time I had a bad source I don't know if some of you heard of it it's a wound that happened for people with disability and basically what it's close to that is like a wound happened to a diabetic person it's it's the same level so the diabetic person when he got a wound or he got like an injury in his body it's really really hard to heal and sometimes the doctor has to cut some part of his body to to he be you know good so I had that issue at that time and then I was like it was something like very crazy to me like it's having wound with me having infection most of the time and it wasn't easy life and situation to deal with for it by myself so Alhamdulillah I was going step by step and fighting here and there to get the treatment that I need and then I wasn't able to get everything I need in Jordan until I got the opportunity to come to the US in 2013 so I'm making my story very short and simple I just want you to go briefly with me about it because it can be very long and very full of details so and I moved to the US in 2013 I started having a lot of difficulty as well you know when I moved here I have no language different culture different country different community and it was it was tough it was really hard it was like the first time for me in the US like when I just arrived here was the most I would say the darkness of my life was right there because at that time I remember I was even afraid of being outside on the public because I afraid of the people you know different different language different perspective and on and on so I spent a good amount of time in the hospital trying to recover from the bad source that I bring with me from Jordan well basically from Iraq when I left it was with me and Alhamdulillah I stay 14 months in the hospital it was crazy with a very small percentage of benefits it wasn't like really beneficial for me to spend all that time but unfortunately it was a I'm sorry to say a stupid doctor decision that's what it is there is no reason anyway I left the hospital on my own responsibility I signed the paper to leave the hospital and I move into apartment with a friend and I was looking for a plastic surgeon or a specialist that can help me and I went out through that treatment and I believe and Alhamdulillah now most of the people that was disagree which is my close friend they wasn't agree about my decision like leaving the hospital and just go looking for a doctor now they do understand why I did that after a long time spending on the hospital so I cover from that now I'm very independent speaking English after all these it was an easy journey but subhanallah everything you know for for a reason it happened for a reason now I'm very independent very mobile in the community I'm trying my best to help others to give back to the community and one of them I believe that gathering gathering like that and I would love to help anybody you know even is not with us on the room and like like an advice or somebody have a situation like mine and wants to talk about specific things I would be more than happy to help on that so brother Abdullah you want to move on I'm sorry take too long no please it's the details are important I mean I know mine was a little brief but the idea is to know the detail of what's going on with those with special needs and those with disabilities so on that second way I'd like to actually explain the differences between what special needs are and what a disability is too a good example to use is the Paralympics versus the Special Olympics what it is is that those who are wanting to be an athlete and want to compete with international special needs is usually people with cognitive disabilities the other category of the Paralympics is people who have no things that are disabled underneath the from neck down whether if you're quadriplegic where your hands are impaired or your legs are impaired typically that's what it consists of and so for example autism can be labeled as special again we're a paraplegic that's considered a physical disability in our lower extremities so that's what classifies what special needs and other disabilities are and and then the next segment to that is according to my life as a wheelchair user Hamdulillah I was able to find a job three years after my injury and for me being around others like myself who have special needs or physical disabilities I find it to be very nurturing and help with my coping during my trials and tribulations because I'm able to see what people can do what they cannot do and I can compare with myself what I cannot cannot do my first job was working with Bay Area Outreach and Recurational Program for those who do not know what that is it's located in Berkeley and it's a beautiful organization that allows people with disabilities whether mostly physical disabilities to participate in wheelchair basketball kayaking cycling and much more there's even a program where you can go out in communities with people disabilities and participate in shows live shows or music or etc you can definitely contact me or look it up and on google to see more about it but being in that environment I was able to help people just like me to get on bicycles I had to measure their their body parts and see what I can do for them some people came in with amputees some people came meaning that they have no legs or arms some people who came with autistic or severe autistic issues we had a bike where the parent to be in front and the and the and the child can be in the back essentially what happens that the parent is controlling the bike the speed and everything we can actually have the limbs attached to the bike where the individual can use their muscles or go with that motion the cycling motion for them to use the bike which is a very beautiful sight to see because they're out there they're away from home they're bringing the fresh air being next to the beach and there is a sense of calm and ease when you're doing that and that's why when I saw it I was doing it for four years and I wanted to do until COVID came they laid me off Hamdol now I work for another agency non-profit Afghan coalition that promotes mental wellness and the other job I do when I was at Apple so Hamdol I'm able to work with this disability so for those who are employers please give these people a chance for them to partake in society they may have certain needs to work for me for example I need extension of my breaks sitting down is not an easy task there's a lot of pain that goes along with that and so I have additional time to take those breaks and of course with my inability to use my bladder or bowel things can happen sometimes and so I could the employer I definitely let them know before they hired me that certain things can happen and I need additional time and I they just told me to use that as medical need don't be detailed oriented on what from why you need to go just tell us that you have a medical emergency and you can take care of it both jobs are doing this for me they're making sure that I have my my needs to make sure I can function in that work environment yeah work works of Hamdol for me I have worked here and there here in the U.S. and I never that's probably the first time brother Muneer brother Abdullah gonna hear it I never find myself with any of that things I always looking to something I don't I don't need to work for a company I like to be independent even in work so I wasn't like really excited off on holding into work a lot I worked here and there but I just work for what it is for the purpose of work you know for income but I don't work for what I really enjoy and have fun with until subhan Allah I established my online business just a couple days ago I assign everything and then now it's it's published so inshallah now on I would be working but all for myself or on my own so I'm my own boss I don't have to do this and that and you know I don't have to look at and think about accommodation in a workplace which is so very important as brother Abdullah said we do need accommodation in a workplace so most of the agency do understand our situation and they will you know help you the best they can but that was also an issue for me and I was like always always thinking about business but I wasn't really sure what to do I try something here and there and then I was like working on a scooters mobility scooters industry for a for a short period of time it's really profitable work but it's hard it's need a lot of physical involved in it to let it work and I wasn't have the financial stability to you know to build my you know I mean get my own warehouse and get employee and get this and that to get the business running up in a better way so I now I'm partnering with a big company it's been running for decades in e-commerce industry and then mashallah it's been it's been great I've been under training for like two months and then now just establish everything so that's that's for me at the moment and if you are interested in knowing exactly and now some details I can share with you after the presentation it would be more than happy to share that yeah all right now I'm the next segment would be transportation before this meeting started me and Ahmed we've been debating on so in other words on my way here I had the wheelchair in the trunk because somebody like myself my wheelchair is too big and I'm borrowing someone's car and I don't want to destroy the interior by trying to put the chair in the car and so luckily I brother Ahmed called me so I didn't need to call for assistance brother Muneer came and pulled the wheelchair out of the trunk so in other words for those who see somebody at the disabled parking spot needing assistance or perhaps needing assistance just go ahead and give them a ask whether do you need my help or not it's also very important to respect the boundaries of the parking lots because these handicapped parking spots are there for a reason um there was none today but we were able to make do usually when we do get out of the car if someone has a big van they need that space where it's all white striped on the floor to get out and in if you do I know during Ramadan sometimes those last minute comers need to come in and park last minute they take up that spot I won't mention which measures I've seen I'm sure it's not this much but the ones I've been to I was stuck and who am I to go to the Imam saying please move this car while I was doing their car away so part of me felt guilty to even report it so I had to just wait till the owner came to get the car the one time I left the notes the person never called me back for their feedback so I stopped doing that as well but for those who are listening please be mindful of that parking spot area uh but if I don't have a car I take bar or train and I was explaining to brother Ahmad that one time I like to sometimes not sit on my chair because the position of this chair is just it gets too tiresome I get fatigued and so switching seats works my other muscles and so one time on my way home I took the train I didn't bother to get up early on time thinking that the person would come down and assist me to get off the train if you're wondering there's like usually a lift inside or a ramp uh one time I was on my chair and they forgot about me but I had stick my hand outside the door so the door didn't shut and that's usually a cue for the operator or the conductor to like oh there's something wrong and then they immediately knew what the situation was because they knew I was in the in the car but in this situation I did not get out of the car the train forgot about my stop I was not able to alert the conductor and then I had to go to great america and so luckily I had my smartphone and the lady felt so bad she gave me the uber money to take uber home so it was very sweet of her uh for bar elevators are there it's very accessible sometimes I have to do my research to see if the elevators are operating because some stations require you to get to use the elevator to get out of the station and so it's be mindful of that so for parents or those with the disabilities um utilize those services because it's actually very cheap uh for those who are permanently disabled you can get it uh a regional transit card and the prices from here to let's say from fremont to san francisco's less than three dollars and that's a round trip ticket so utilize your services uh your car oh yeah um transportation I had terrible and so I have a lot of problems with the bar before mashallah alhamdulillah I haven't used bars from from a long time uh during the pandemic I use it for a little bit but uh I'm driving alhamdulillah uh my car takes me anywhere uh and the thing is like sometime as a brother Abdullah said it's very cheap to use it so to the city no I would take the bar I would have I saw um kind of like set up myself with with um uh different mobility device so I have a power chair I have a scooter so I have them set down there so usually when I go to the city of course it's cheaper for me instead of like hustling on the traffic and you know focusing on the way you just take a train take you the way that you want and enjoy the life of a there finish your things and get back so um I had a lot of issue with the train before also the elevator so uh now on I mean not now on a while ago actually when I usually when I go take when I decided to take the train I just stop by the agent right away and ask him the elevator is working in even not my station even a specific station they can check for me and um that was that was uh helpful things because I stuck a couple time in a different station and I have to go all around to gate on another side of the train and uh but now alhamdulillah I'm I'm just driving my car anywhere I I want and uh there's no issue with that and other things I surprised from brother Abdullah that I was I was telling him that I saw his wheelchair his wheelchair is big I saw it on the trunk but uh I was like you know even sometime I go for a short ride I need to get something done but I really have to get my wheelchair next to me even I so it's hard it it may seem simple to me now or to you if you see me putting my wheelchair in the car I have to assemble it part completely and put each part differently on my on my read it's not an easy process but I got used to it and it's um alhamdulillah it's it's I so it's I putting effort in it because sometime if I if I do the movement not in the right way it can hurt my back muscles my shoulder can irritate me like in a second so I was telling him like to have his chair on his reach in case of an emergency you never know you know you're driving on the way something could happen so having a wheelchair on your reach it can make something safer for you yeah and um yeah that's uh uh transportation I was I was explaining to brother Ahmad if there's a car on fire do you have time to set up your wheelchair or you're going to get out of the car uh he said he's going to set up his wheelchair me I will just roll out of the car and try to go far away as possible you won't be far off the car perhaps that's that's also the problem yeah but the wheelchair can take me less than one minute fifty second fifty three second exactly I counted that's take me to to de-sample my wheelchair yeah yeah usually the cars does matter the size of the car makes it easier um what I like to move forward next is talk about um Ramadan and how it is for those who are disabled fortunately we are pardoned we don't have to do it but fortunately I believe I can do it and so this Ramadan I did all but one day so over the years of 18 years being in the wheelchair I've learned that I had a lot of urinary tract infections because of my dehydration um and so it usually takes weeks or one week or more to take the antibiotics to the bacteria to go away and so I've learned that let me take within after two weeks of Ramadan they mean not fast I'll take this day to nourish my body hydrate my body too so I can fast the next day because why the buttock is there of course so why do I want to spend 10 days recovering when I know I'm now I know this body so be true to yourself listen to yourself there are days where I have to break my fast because my legs are just screaming at me uh or like just telling your body's telling you something um to explain to how we feel it's hard to describe but uh if you want to know an idea imagine your hand or foot being asleep uh that tingly sensation that's essentially how maybe brother that's how I feel under my lower extremities and when the tingly is too high that's a sign of something is wrong and so these messages is a very uh blessing because it's a way for me to communicate with or for me to understand what's going on with my body um a lot of people don't have the sensation a friend of mine who I hand cycle with he's he says he hasn't has no sensation whatsoever whatsoever in his lower extremities um and so as brother Ahmad said that can be a source of pressure sores or what would you use uh bed sores yeah so uh it's the same thing there are ways to prevent it weight shifts like you may see I'm right now standing on one hand to do one weight shift so I might switch my body to the other shift for those who understand you know exactly what I'm talking about uh but for me Tataway prayer it's hard to go to the Majid at times because I'm just too fatigued at night Hamdullah MCC is one of the Majids I know that broadcasts their uh their Tataway prayers a part of me loves MCA shikht your will it cannot compare uh but MCC is giving me the opportunity to just to tune in hear what's going on hear the Imam and it's a gem because I can I can just partake at home read the Quran with the Imam and just feel like I belong in the community yeah beautiful MCC what we say about it as much we talking now I'm so so blessed to be in this place and I'm sure you all um having the same feeling here and uh accessibility for MCC Masha Allah Masha Allah it's uh it's it's great it's great we had we had something on the last year we discussed with me brother Abdullah about accessibility for the masjid but compared to others there is no comparison Masha Allah it's everything reachable people can help we had some um discussion about the bathroom and now those bathroom here is open and it's very easy to access and also we um at that at that time last year we discussed about our wheelchair we asked brother me about special place you know to pray on uh on the pray hall like we they can accommodate something for us as uh we don't need to run all around the masjid with our wheelchairs which is a hundred percent dirty if we don't take care of them right so and then Masha Allah on last week I discussed with sister Heather she's not here I wish she's here and um she was asking me like um what about like we were discussing about like putting some um some mat or plastic bag on the on the musallah hole that we can just use I said why don't I just use uh claurex wipes and before I access or enter the the masjid I can clean my wheelchair and that make me feel more confident and and don't make me feel like guilty just myself because I do feel guilty like running out with my wheelchair and just enter the musallah or enter the masjid and use it on the bathroom everywhere so and she said yeah that's a great brother Muneer he's willing to provide um claurex wipes and I I I told even brother Abdullah that would be the best and the easiest way to go with we don't need something like really we don't need to do something really difficult we need things to be easy and that's what's gonna take from us two minutes outside the masjid when I get out of the car we just wipe my uh my tires and I access the the masjid and then also using the restroom after I get out of the restroom I just have to wipe my tires again um let's go back a little bit about Ramadan because um some people thinking that um like we do have to fast we do have the the the reason why and then uh UTI infection that think it's so very common um bacteria for people with disability so SubhanAllah it's been like um three years three years three years I was not able to fast because the last time I fast I fast for 10 days continuously and then I got a UTI lay me in the hospital for two weeks and then that was like horrible so I got a bacteria resistant so bacteria that resistant to antibiotics so my body is not accepting certain kind of antibiotics so that was something like I really have to think about and take it serious because it's not good so my immune system is getting very weak so I said okay I can't do other things I can do better I mean good things in Ramadan without fasting you know so that's what I decided to do not fast but try my best to do something better in that specific month you know for the community for people who it needs and uh yeah things like that now outside Ramadan I like to talk about how it is for for people with physical disabilities um in the prayer in the prayer hall typically I like to pray off this chair again we sit on this chair for hours on end and so uh at one much did I actually was laying down on my belly so I can stretch and pray and at one moment I was like wait I can do it such that with along the other brothers and sisters as the Imam says the the Takbir and I had noticed that after from 18 from 18 years being in a wheelchair about 10 years ago when I went to mca I was laying down and it just inclined to me to do it such that with everyone else and it felt so wonderful to put my head underneath the four on the forehead as I was praying the reason being it was so impactful because one Imam as I was consulting he suggested that if I'm leading prayer I'm not allowed to lead because if people who are also able to take lead his his uh his case was that the the Imam has to have his head on the floor if I'm wanting to lead I have to have everyone sit with me and that was his consultation and a part of me did kind of got upset and sad because if I have my own family one day inshallah um am I able to lead you know these things these questions come up and so uh Hamdillah there was a one point where I've noticed that all my family members were very old and they're all sitting down and I had volunteered may I lead and Hamdillah they were like please go ahead and then for after five years of not leading I was able to leave for the very first time um so that is something that is very remarkable and and it's nice to see and so I don't know we ever saw a congregation of disabled people in the community leading a prayer but that'll be a sight to see one of these days um but I want to share with you guys um if anybody here in this room have special needs or have somebody on a wheelchair and and you know feel free please to ask any question we will open a question after this conversation inshallah and then feel free to ask any question about any things in your mind we are very open to anything uh there is nothing to hide and um uh yeah looking forward to benefit you the way that we see or the way that we can you know from this uh uh gathering inshallah I 100% agree transparency and sharing your story is very important now as I mentioned earlier we are not considered special needs and so when hopefully inshallah next year we will have a family who has a special need uh child or part member in their family to include themselves in this discussion because again this is for us it's for your community to share for us to share experiences because this is our g-hat um I know the j-word can be sometimes taboo but this this is it um and so for us ours is our wheelchair being disabled um special needs is a different category and so um if anyone likes to share right now feel free to share your experience with the community and those who are listening online not to pressure you but if you liked yes can you maybe share your story with us because I think um uh I haven't shared his story about how he was disabled maybe you can share about how okay so I'll be very very uh descriptive um so I had a motorcycle I bought one because I had uh no financial means of buying a vehicle and so I asked my mother and father they said no but I was like but mother uh I need to get around what can I do taking the train taking the bus as an able body I wake up late I I need to rush and so she's like no you don't have my blessing so behind her back I bought her motorcycle and I brought it home one after the day that I bought it and she was shocked till this day she wishes she slashes the tires but I'm like mom it's nasi whatever happened happened and so it was the last day of Ramadan I lied to my mother and father on where I was going so children if you're listening um I had this huge guilt in my mind because being on the motorcycle without their blessing I had to you know scheme my way outside the house by taking the bike outside and so that following morning it was again last day of Ramadan I went on a group ride with other motorcyclists it was a group ride for newbie riders newbie riders to ride in the winding turns area and so you can imagine it's in the mountain to a road quite dangerous. Alhamdulillah it was a for the first hour it was quite peaceful calm but then some of the group members were like hey let's ditch this group and let's go tear it up or let's go ride even harder and so the person in front of me I was following his line for quite some time line meaning I was behind his wheel so Alhamdulillah I don't know what had happened I just woke up on the floor checking the time around 10.52 and next to know I gained consciousness laying on my side I punctured my lungs broke my ribs fractured my wrist and of course my spinal cord injury got the worst of it and I had a mouth had injury and so when I woke up I noticed I couldn't move anything below my chest and I was having trouble breathing and so the person who I was following comes back and I noticed and I recognized him but I'm like wait what's going on because for a moment I felt like I was waking up in some sort of like vacation because you're underneath the tree it's a beautiful day but once my mind my memory came back to me I noticed the guy and he panics and leaves me there I had his number but I deleted it before that reason so if you're listening or out there you know I I'm not mad at you I there's no reason you need to ask for forgiveness or pardon you but I hope you're doing okay because to leave someone there laying there helplessly I don't know if they call the ambulance or not I have no idea but what had happened was that someone after a few minutes down I don't know how long I was just laying there an off-duty doctor came to my side saying you're going to be okay he pointed to me where's your where's your ID I pointed to my wallet he grabbed my wallet he said help is on the way the ambulance came they noticed that it was a severe injury then they grabbed the helicopter saying that no we need to transfer him to Stanford and get him into surgery when they when they admitted me they brought me a psychologist saying we need to call your parents I was like stop all my parents I wish for death because I didn't want to explain to my parents what had happened for obvious reasons I told her please don't tell my parents I'll be all right and so she came back again saying we need to call your parents I was like for what I'm 18 years old I'm an adult please consult with me she left the room she came back it's like listen we need to call your parents at that point I gave them my parents phone number and so the last day of Ramadan my whole family member was at Stanford uh the first person I saw was my aunt at that point I let loose I was crying I was miserable I was like auntie what did I do I failed my parents I failed them I failed them she was like wipe your tears away they're coming in right away at that moment I wiped my tears off and I had a huge smile on my face when I saw my father who's no longer here in this world he passed away last year but his eyes were everyone's eyes was just red teary I could tell all the pain that I caused them which is why I don't want to tell them but at that point I knew I had to swallow all my grief all my pain and just show them my smile and till that day my dad talks about it he's like it's amazing oh when he was alive he was like it was amazing to see you that day because we were all crushed we didn't know how you were but when they first saw me I looked 100% okay because I'm just paralyzed from chest down everything seemed okay but once the doctor I told him your son may never walk again his prayer to me was I hope to stand I hope to see you stand on your two feet which kind of bothered me a lot because I don't think it's possible I was like dad there's more important things than just being on my two feet you know symbolically being on my two feet like living on my own being independent having kids you know getting married you know graduating college these are things that I've been wanting to do I graduate college and so if I have a family we'll see inshallah but till this day my dad before he passed away told me that I'm very proud of you you are able to commit you've took 10 years to graduate college you didn't give up so yeah he said he said those last words how are we to say don't get married that's one advice that I will share with you maybe he's talking from personal experience but he just said don't get married but it's on my to-do list maybe one of these days but that's what had happened to me so kids if you want to buy your motorcycle know that it's not a matter of if you'll crash it's a matter of when you'll crash because you will crash and if you're wondering that was my second accident so I did not learn my first lesson yeah mashallah so brother Abdullah quick question after you bought the motorcycle how how long and then you crashed a year later a year later okay so I mean it's not a beginner it's like you have a good experience on everything but it just yeah Allah Qadir wants to happen yeah there the gentleman who left a note on my helmet campus was like let's go riding that's how I met him that day I had no business being in that road I needed to be in a closed road trained to become a better rider to experience those those slopes because those turns are wide or Lee it was wide and blind and so yeah it was a risk I took which is why I'm able to speak to you today because as a motorcycle rider you know the risks again it's not a matter of if it's a matter of when yeah that's really impressing and sad I'm sorry but I'm sure I'm sure now you you not feel sad anymore I mean you moving up mashallah so that that was also a moment for me after my accident I was like the price sad for a short period of time Alhamdulillah it was a short period of time because if you hold into it it's not gonna leave you it's just gonna you know bring sadness to yourself to your family to the to the surround which is not good not a good thing so my message to the family who has somebody in needs from their kids or you know they have special needs please be patient I know you struggle with them and sometimes like they don't listen to your to your to your you know to your words but be patient everything will be fine inshallah and everything subhanallah that that's something it really helps me a lot in my life everything happened for a reason just take the good part of it and leave the bad leave it away everything will happen for a reason good things will come on time no matter it's gonna come on time it may need some time but it will come yeah so the the wrong decision I made also it's not a motorcycle actually not the accident I I like adventure I like to do outside outdoor activities a lot and then I that was in 2019 I went out into my friend ranch and and I was riding the ATV the the ATV the four-wheel off-road kind of motorcycle so that thing is very exciting when you be on it it's like you just have to be fast you just have to go upside down and then unfortunately I fall from that ATV and I broke my both arm so yeah so that was something insane like I wake up in the hospital I cannot move my arm so I was like okay I'm paraplegic but I'm okay you know I'm happy in my life but now without arm oh my god I experienced it very well it wasn't easy it was it was really really difficult to deal with it I stayed in the hospital for about like four to six months I broke my clavicles and it wasn't easy but I believe I was extra too wild at that time so now I'm very mindful of any decision I need to make I love outdoor activities I like to you know be in the water go a fishing trip fishing boat trip and do this and that and jet ski and any kind of outdoor activities I enjoy doing but I have to think about it twice not one time not something I just like it I would just walk into it and go do it no you have to think about it carefully does the ATV worth what I spent in the hospital no it does not it's like I don't remember it's like five or seven minutes after I start I had the accident so seven minutes of joy caused me something that I didn't think about correctly at that time so I still do crazy things outdoor in a good way though but I just have to be careful I have to be mindful of every single things because I don't need to say I wish I don't do it I haven't done it no no no think about it before you do it and yeah and and and you know I'm now plus of everything I have we have more weight more than we deserve Alhamdulillah most of you Mashallah guys are healthy even so we all struggle we have everybody everybody in this room have his own problem we struggle no matter you walking you are good you are feeling healthy but probably your mind is like you stress you depress you don't thinking correctly so we all have struggled but we just have to take it easy and be patient with it the light will come out inshallah inshallah you know when I think of the honoring and loving the special needs people in our community and disabled I think of the story of the blind man who came across us on so if you guys know the story the process and was sitting with some very high noble people of Mecca and was trying to convince them to accept Islam and and then a blind man came and the blind man didn't sense this but the Prophet saw some turned his face and kind of frowned because he was focusing on the noble people he's focusing on the noble people inside the congress there and then the verse came down and and there's the verse that we see you know you you you change your face around you frowned and the blind man came to you because most of them was trying to go for these noble these rich people but then this person that was was there and then every time I was awesome would see that blind man he would say give him his full attention and say welcome welcome to the man who my lord blamed me for because most of them wasn't wasn't there for his his needs so can you talk a little about the culture that we have as a Muslim community and how that impacts you because we have the beautiful example of our Prophet Hassan but we fall short as as a culture as as a people what what can we do about that well we cannot be plus more than we being a Muslim brother Muneer asked me last month I think we were together in the room and he was asking me like what would you think if you were not born Muslim would you go and look at this religion and search it and follow it and be who you are now the answer was I don't know and most likely I don't think so so number one we have to be thankful for being Muslim our community so Masha Allah the beautiful community here especially in MCC I've been uh joining Taraweeh and Iftar during Ramadan it's just blessing that we you know so for me I live here by myself and I don't have any Muslim community around me where I live so being in this community it's just blessing you be like okay I feel that kind of back home people praying people say Salam people trying to help you people to try to you know be there for you and people who I don't know so it's Masha Allah it's just blessing so we just have to be thankful that we are Muslim and we have to do our best to help our community and help people who in needs because you know we just have to be so we cannot be strong without that so all together we'll be strong inshallah yeah absolutely asking if you're the community well let me ask specifically with the culture since I'm Afghan I like to use this example so during my rehab or my getting trying to get learning how to live this life as a wheelchair I had a visitor that came to my mother's home where I was at she came and saw me she was like wow this looked like there's nothing wrong with him so she went out to the community saying Abdullah is not sick he's not paralyzed he looks absolutely fine subhan Allah this this woman who said that years down the line she had a stroke and so half her body became paralyzed then she realized what I was going through unfortunately I don't know that that hit me very hard when I learned that she got a stroke because when I heard what she said about me and saying that I had nothing wrong with me it kind of you know it made me feel some type of way so that's one example another example how the community can become somewhat not knowing is that I tend to get a lot of questions what had happened to you why are you in a wheelchair you're so handsome martial law how can god do this to you and so usually my response is it's god's plan no it was his plan he was like no no tell me what had happened brother I was like are you questioning Allah's will and so at that moment he realized that he was gonna get nothing out of me but sometimes I can read the energy of people maybe this this gentleman here I didn't want to answer his question at work someone came up to me he was like what happened to you I was like well this again but this time I had the time in patience I was like you know brother I had a wheelchair accident it's like are you married I was like oh why are we talking about this no I'm not married and then he shared me his story he was like oh I had a wife I divorced her she had cancer then we re-renided we got remarried and then she passed away so he was just trying to tell me that enjoy your life find comfort in life another how the community can help is just simply ask us or anybody that you see who has a family need whether they're disabled or non-disabled because ours is quite visible you can see our disability some of them are invisible so you don't know whether they have it or not but just simply ask them hey brother can I help you with something is there something I can do for you for example when I got out of the car today I don't know who it was but a brother was right behind me trying to push me to the musket I was like oh so Allah I was like I didn't even ask for help and this brother's trying to push me but this wheelchair is like an extension of my body so if you're going to touch my wheelchair please ask before you do because I don't know what you're gonna do you know there's a part of me like hey you know don't touch me so it's it's it's a sensitive zone so consent transparency is very important so that's my experience with the community very insightful thank you so we have about 15 minutes to go for it if you'd like to just raise your hand over your mic over to you if you have any questions for our speakers inshallah very quiet audience mashallah very quiet does anyone know about experiences or how how schools can accommodate your child our experiences with the school system with competitive sports recreational sports outings with the family you know there's a lot of activities where families can go out now with the ADA act there are many bathrooms now where the family can enter and participate you know help the child or adult in need but if you guys have your own experience you'd like to share any special needs family who like to share he's hungry for his heart so I think could you tell us a little bit about after you were shot in Iraq the worry the depression the grief the anxiety these are all you know human emotions that we deal with how did you work with those emotions because brother Abdullah shared a little bit about him but could you talk about it because you were in probably in Iraq or Jordan came America you didn't speak the language that uncertainty how did you deal with the mental aspect of trying to get through all that yeah subhanAllah after my accident he was it was something shocking for me my family and all the people who are close to me so after that like I remember the first day that my dad had a textile store at that time and then he was waiting for me to go to him to the store so what I did I basically just walk from my home down the street to go to my data store which is about like two mile or one and a half mile away from my my home so on the way on the way there I just crossed the street I got shot all I felt at that time is like electricity in all my body and then I couldn't move anymore so I wait for the people to come and you know help me I saw a lot of people around me but they were afraid because of the sniper that shot me is like you know they don't want to just pop up to me and grab me and take me out so they were so I was still on his target zone so they raised a white scarf and then they you know jump into me and bring me and then they took me to urgent care and then the first things I saw is my dad like so he was in the so the urgent care was very close to my dad shop and and then you know my dad heard that Ahmed Ahmed's been shot so he was like just shocking okay he was waiting for me to come to the store so I can't take and he can go do his other things so subhan Allah I look at my dad in top of me and he was like crying and they told him he will be fine his his injury is easy he's just on his shoulder which that's where where it was show like so that the bullet hit me from the bag and comes out from the front from my from my shoulder and I wasn't think like oh I will be a paralyzer paraplegic or whatever so I was taking it easy and I will be fine and Alhamdulillah they took me to the general hospital over there of alfelluja and and then I took treatment over there for a couple months my family over there they were like after they they find out that my injury is like I'm going to be a paraplegic so I won't be able to walk again they were shocked so my mom and dad like they were like doing their research doing their best to find out any country any region has a treatment for that situation so they took me to Syria and from Syria they took me to Jordan to get my treatment at that time I wasn't so um about like eight to nine months after my accident I completely laying down on the bed I was like at that time I remember wallah my dream was to see the sun to see the light to breathe a clear air I was like asking my sister my please just push my my my bed I need to go out just put me out on the on the on the on the yard they were oh no your wound is open it's not good for you you will be affected and stuff like that and I was like oh my god oh my god so they were so was one I one of the things that I remember I feel like plus four at that time is like when they transfer me from place to place or from hospital to hospital and take me out from the darkness of the house to the outside to the light for that short period of time like they just transfer me into the ambulance I felt good oh I'm taking a deep breath and that that was that that was like my dream subhanallah and then after that I start getting better they start pushing me out but I was under depression you know I kind of like believe it or not I was thinking like it's just a joke like it's a shot why don't I walk again it's it it shouldn't affect me that much you know it's not on my leg but on my spine so subhanallah my family tried their best they took me to Syria they took me to Jordan looking for a treatment and then at that time when I was in Syria I was like a little high level abh wishing to sit on a wheelchair and just gate out and be just just look at the community so at that time in Syria I remember there was Iraqi family they live in upstairs where so upstairs in our apartment that we rent in Syria and the guy that we met his mom he have an old mom and they have a wheelchair for her just in case they need to use it they would use it and then I have my dad I asked my dad dad can you please ask him if we can just borrow the chair for one day and then he said oh yeah for sure it's under the stairs so the stairs that go to the apartment to their apartment please feel free to use it anytime so my mom and dad at that time so my dad he's a medical assistant so he knew that if I would force myself and just try to sit right away I would have a very bad feeling my blood pressure will go low and I get dizzy I will I would be horrible so he don't want he don't want to set up me right away to the wheelchair so every time I need oh no just put pillow behind your bag and sit on the sit on the on the bed you know get train yourself or you know create just environment for your body before you transfer into the chair so I was like sick of it I just need to get out of there so one day my mom and dad went out to the store and my uncle with me was and I said can you please bring the wheelchair let's try and he said Ahmed you are crazy I said please please so he bring the wheelchair I try I like like crazy I saw the wheelchair I just need to pop up to it then I just need to get out I need to I I'm sick of being indoor inside on the bed all the time after like eight to nine months so subhan Allah he got the wheelchair he held me transfer into the wheelchair so it was a horrible feeling I wish I have not done it at that time I was I have a nausea my blood pressure my my face was yellow and throwing up excuse me for that and I was like I feel miserable but I did not give up I said okay I have to stay here until my situation get better and subhan Allah after like three to five minutes I started getting better he cleaned me up he washed my face and he said yeah yeah just let's surprise your family you will be fine yeah just stay just stay on the chair so he was like a very good supportive of me like motivate me to keep holding to it you know so I was yeah but at that time I was feel not good I was feel horrible miserable so subhan Allah moving step after step like step by step step by step until I will I was able to sit on the wheelchair so I remember until that time my mom when she entered that she yelled and she was crying when she saw me on the wheelchair how did you get on to that one how did you say mom I want to be outside on the street so my next step it was out on the street so it wasn't easy subhan Allah all these steps all this moment it's just in my brain in my system but do I feel sorry about it do I feel better no not anymore I'm just thankful I'm happy I'm trying my best to live my best life is possible in a right way so alhamdulillah since since my accident I always say alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah and over time I've learned that if you be thankful you know if you just surround your own self with a positive talk positive memory you know just hold on to positivity don't hold on to negative negativity and you will be changed you will be surprised like things just change around you from nowhere and subhan Allah I try my best always even if I'm tired no no I will be fine no I'm okay I'm just you know get going get going subhan Allah even the pain this morning I was having I wake up I had a very discomfort pain in my shoulder my shoulder on my back so those are very common things because I'm transferring my wheelchair so many time in the car and then I wear my muscle all the time so I was oh my god how I'm gonna deal with it today why did that happen to this oh okay okay wake up no don't think about it just forget about it and subhan Allah wallah al adi my forgot about the pain just I try you know my best I went out to the sun and tried to be you know positive and forget about the pain and just went away so even the pain I just I just learned that one so if you please please please if you have something negative as I mentioned earlier that we all struggle we all go through a difficult things but negativity do not share it with people for your own self try to forget about it and just leave it away just share happiness share goodness with people because people when they come to you and walk to you they don't need to hear your sad and your struggle because they do have enough in their life so they need to look at to look at the other side they need something better you know input input so anything you listen even some time you're listening to some sad talk or something like that you will take it's gonna take you to that mode of sadness just try to be positive listen to something good always be positive you know ensure that with your surroundings and be happy yeah to piggyback on that protective parents with their with the child or a special need child or disabled child there's a lot of stress already on the child they already feel so much as a burden already but because there's certain things that they used to do that can no longer do for example when the first day that I came home after my rehab I had to go up the ramp with assistance to get inside the home for the bathroom we had to remove the door so all these adaptations that we had around the house it made me very self-conscious so when I asked my mother can I please move out of the house so I can become independent to test what I'm capable of doing when I'm not capable of doing she was furious she was like no I make your bed when it's dirty I wash your clothes when it's dirty I prepare you the meals why do you want to leave I was like mother there'll be a time where you won't be here and then I don't want to wait till that day comes because I don't know how old I will be or how old you will be so please give me your blessing so I can move out she said no likely I have another parent so I asked my father father do I have your blessings he said son you have my blessings and so fortunately I went to San Dominguez Hills with my beloved brother Adam to help me test my limits and so my mom did not give me her salams when I left which I understand but don't add that extra stress if you if you cannot please a mother's love is a mother's love so who am I to say otherwise so I understand but just show a little more patience and willingness for your child to challenge himself well thank you for your insights let's come around the pause ma'sha'Allah very beautiful beautiful so um brother Ahmad with your permission we would love if you can give us on from Akhrib sure so actually well if you go to the prayer hall so that because we have a different mic for you inshallah you still have to give us on and then brother Rahim if you wait hold your hand up over here um just hold your hand up over there so over there he had all your shoes have been transferred to this side of the building and we're going to help you get to the area that we have set up for iftar inshallah so if you want to start making a way over there inshallah and we have a star set up for you we have dates and water and gifts for all the kids so we're very excited to see this part of the program over there those that are here for the new Muslim star that's in the bank would hope those that are here for the singles and the other if stars they'll be in the Kenyatta area so three different if stars going inshallah so make sure you find your respective area and brother he will and stars when are here on the side just a click it