 Mae'n cael ei fath o'i wneud o'ch wneud o'ch eu gallu gael ei wneud ymddech chi'n meddwl yn eistedd mewn gwagol, ac mae'n gweithio'r clomwysgau'r cifrwysgau ac'r ddim yn dweud o'r cifrwysgau'r cifrwysgau. A'r ddweud o'ch gwladdydd yn cael ei gweld eu bod yn yr ysgolaf yr nyfodol. Rydyn ni'n gweithio'r bwysigol o'r cyflogau. Rydyn ni'n gweithio'r bwysigol o'r bwysigol, Ac rwy'n rhaid i gwybod gwirio'n ystod yn fawr yn byw. Mae'n ddweud eich gwaith arfer. Yn amlwg fod yn ddechrau'r cyffredin hon. Mae'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r cyffredin. Mae'n ffordd y ffanga? Rhaid i'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r gwirio cyffredin. Rwy'n cyffredin yn fy ngynghwyl ar gyflwyno'r gynhwyl. Mae'r cyffredin yn ymgylch yn fwy o'r meddwl. Fel ymgylch yn ymdod o'r ffordd. Mae'r gwaith fy yw'r gwrdd. ac nid oedd neud o'r rai gwahodd ni'n gwahodd i'w cwylodol yn gwahanol. Ac yn rai o'n cwylodol yn gwahanol. Yn ymwneud yn cefnol. Gwyddo chi'n rhaid i'w gwrth i'w tynnu'r rhannu i'w gweithio i mi'n gweithio'r rai? Byddai'n cefnol? Fyddech chi'n gweithio. Mae'r cyffin iawn o'r cyffin iawn i'w gweithio ffyrdd, a wnaeth i yn gyffinio'r cyffin iawn. ymarfer wedi gwneud gweithio i gyd, a amser maen nhw i wneud am yr Sadddon. Dw i'n mynd i gylio, wedi ffynnau. Mae'r koeth gweithio ac ferdwyl, yn snod, yr adrofiad wedi gweithio i gael i wneud ddysgrif banks. Arnyn i ddim e. Yn mynd! Yn mynd! I'm not live, but thank you! Yn fighr! Rai, yna'r amser. Yn ystod i dressio fydd. Rai! Yn ystod i ddim! Dyna yna'r amser i ddod! Felly e'n gweithio i ddim e. Nither serde. Felly mae'n sandre Mae'n ddadf, awddiadbarod ar gyfer cyflawnai I was left? Life is good, yeah. Life is good. Like everyone else, we are in a bit of turmoil at the moment with whats been going on... I'm just coming out of a second lockdown. So I think, I like a lot of other people, my mental health have been great over that lockdown period. You know, it kind of gets to you after a little while. You know the biggest thing for me is socialising. I don't have a lot of friends but I like to see my friends as often as possible. Do you know what I mean? I'm always out and about and having dinners and going out for drinks and it's what life's about. Keating busy? Yeah and with lockdown it's near impossible. Yeah it's a weird time and I always say it but a lot of people are just trying to keep their head above water. A lot of people seem to be sinking just now and it's a bad time not just mental health but you've got people struggling with businesses and money problems that's coming up to Christmas. You've got vaccines coming in to play with people. Or just all over the place just trying to stay in your lane and just understand that things won't get better. Sometimes it is as simple as that. You've just got to stay focused day by day and all that. But for those who are out there with mental health watching, you're not on your own, everyone's struggling. I think it's been a big thing for me this year dealing with things like anxiety and depression. I don't suffer from depression or at least I haven't done until recently but the last three months lockdown and the last month I've been feeling it more and the nearest thing to socialising is taking my dogs out for a walk on eating parkour. Sometimes that's all you need mate, it's dogs over your men's out. Do you know they've kept me going, Huncho and Lila have kept me going, my little friends, they really have. I'd be lost without them. Of course my kids as well and family but you know I spend every day of my life with my dogs. So to not have them there going through this. Yeah but it's a great thing to touch on, we'll touch on that later on in the podcast. Because even though your business is flying you've got all the external stuff, you're still battling brother. Yeah like everyone else I think it's just been tough hasn't it. But I'll go back to the start with my guests. Please, go for it, go for it. How old began? Yeah go for it, sorry my apologies. Yeah where did I start, wow so I was born in Burnley, Burnley Lancashire. I was born two siblings, I had my sister and myself and my mum. She was a single parent family, first few years of our life growing up. So we had struggles and my mum was kind of doing the best she could to raise us without much money. And pushing us around in a double bugger, there was only a year between us. And she managed to work hard to get us the things that we needed and be able to provide for us. And then when she was seven, excuse me when I was seven, my mum met my dad, my step dad, I call him dad. And things changed a lot for us then, you know, bigger income and we had a father figure there, someone to tell us off. And my mum had a companion and together they worked hard to kind of provide a solid future for us. Strong lot bringing then once the meal figure came in. Yeah we had, you know we were living pretty much in poverty, we weren't desperate but we didn't have anything. And we were living in and around poverty and they managed to do the house up that we were living in and be able to get enough funds from that to eventually buy that and sell up and build an house for us that would become our own. How was your schooling and stuff growing up? Nightmare. Nightmare? Shit. I can imagine that being to be honest. Were you a pest? Yeah I was just really angry as a kid growing up. I watched, I seen some things that were younger that didn't suit me very well, that didn't sit very well with me as a child. Like what? I watched my mum get beat up for a couple of years through a bad boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, whatever and that affected me massively when I was younger. So it made me violent, aggressive, just wanted to kick fuck out of everyone. That's what I wanted to do, was my way of dealing with things. Fold of anger? Yeah, that was my way of rationalising situations with aggression and that kind of energy. So you went through schooling like that as well? Yeah, pretty much just wanted to fuck my way up the pecky in order and get a reputation for myself really. I think it was more about letting people know they couldn't push me around. But you tend to see the ones who feel that way are the ones who are most broken inside? Yeah, I think it affected me a lot. That becomes the mass, doesn't it, that you want to go through yourself as tough and violent and really, who still want to be fucking have a wee cuddle and loved me in it? Yeah, I think that, you realise that when you get a bit older, don't you? When you get a bit older, but I think when you're young and you've got a lot to prove. So what is then, did you start acting, did you ever start, did you ever go acting class? I'd always been acting right the way through school. So there's a couple of teachers who took a little bit of a shine to me and realised that I had some... Lover borog? Yeah, some issues that are kind of deeper than sort of... Did acting take you away from your method of thinking? It gave me an outreach, it gave me a stage to perform without getting in trouble, do you know what I mean? It kind of allowed me to be the centre of attention without having to be rolling around at middle of the playground, scrapping or not getting picked for a football team because everyone knew I was going to kick off. It was always the last one to get picked. So basically the acting was like you could be somebody, take you away from the real reality of life? I guess so, yeah, but it was just an opportunity for showcase myself and what I believed, you know, I wanted attention clearly. So I think some of the teachers saw this and gave me opportunities to believe roles in certain school productions. So I always concentrated, I always really worked hard on getting the roles at school. What kind of roles? I was having this conversation with my daughter actually cos she's just been picked as... She's just been cast, excuse me, as the lead role in her school nativity play. Little Angel gets her wings. And she's cast as the little angel so she's got the title role. She's so excited. Oh god yeah, so proud. Jealous actually. Completely jealous and like they got a part for me. But no, seriously. She was really pleased with that and I was telling her some of the different roles I played. And she was like, she was a little bit taken aback by the fact that I played the Christmas Angel one year and wore a fairy dress. And I thought I was just banter, you know. You're getting a fool. I was about 10, no, I don't. I'd pay to see that for her. Maybe I won. But yeah, like all kinds of roles were played. Jonah in the story of the whale. I've played Joseph in the nativity play. And then things got a little bit better. I was cast as chief weasel at Burnley Youth Theatre. At the start of Burnley Youth Theatre my sister went over 40 and after doing a few successful plays at school and secondary school I just wanted to do more. So we looked at getting into a production group, a production company or a sort of a youth theatre community group, whatever. And we found, we came across Burnley Youth Theatre. We've been looking for something like, something like that in the community for years and we could never, we never came across it. As a family member introduced us because she'd been going a few years. We were more bothered about the fact she'd been going for three years and failed to tell us. But yeah, we joined Burnley Youth Theatre. I was 14, my sister was 13. And it progressed from there, we started getting good roles early on. Told her told all, she was playing Phoebe, I played chief weasel, chief ferret. And then we just got better roles and within a couple of years of being at Burnley Youth Theatre. Actually it weren't a couple of years, it was just a few months being at Burnley Youth Theatre, we was introduced to casting directors from Manchester. Beverly Keogh and David Shaw and at the time they were casting. So it was at Burnley Youth Theatre and they basically contacted us to let us know there were going to be some auditions for television. And for me that was like, I just knew. Did you believe, did you have that belief? I don't, I just, I kind of been pursuing it for so long and looking down different avenues to find like, things after school and clubs and you weren't too old or you were in Manchester and you were too far and there were loads going on in Manchester but we were like 30 miles away and minimal budget my parents had, the company. It was impossible to drive a kid to Manchester twice a week or even weekly and commit to that, it's a big commitment. And so which I understand actually is I got older, some kids did and then bump into later on in life but just weren't, we weren't able to do it at the time. We concentrated on Burnley Youth Theatre. In a few months we started getting casting, casting cast for roles on TV. Where the heart is was one of the first roles I went up for. I went, got a recall and got invited to, think it was Huddersfield or Leeds for the casting and the audition, excuse me. And I didn't get it and I was wounded. I was in pieces. I really affected me. And for weeks I just couldn't get it out of me. I thought this was my one opportunity and I didn't get it. So I was cursing myself and I was beating myself up about it. And then they came back and they asked for me specifically. I was like, what, they wanted me? And I hadn't been for a few weeks. I think I'd sort of spat my dummy out. Kind of fingers up attitude as usual, Jodie sort of trait. And I stopped going. I was like, nah, fuck this, I've had enough. I'm a sister carried on I think. I'm almost like, you need to keep going, you need to keep going because obviously she didn't want to be docile about on the street. She didn't want to mean Burnley Youth Theatre two or three times a week. Warm and protected and safe. And they called me back. And Burnley Youth Theatre rang and said, they really want you to come for this audition. You need to come in. I was like, really? They've asked for you specifically. They want to see other people, but they've asked for you specifically. Will Jodie be there? So you need to come. And for them to ring me I think was really humble and really decent of them. Because they could have just let some other kids go in there. It's scary that that bit of rejection can throw you right off course on that. Yeah, it did. But I think in a lot of aspects of life I don't give a fuck attitude, but actually it really hurt me when I didn't get things. I didn't like rejection at all. Definitely in the wrong career. I couldn't deal with rejection at all. To choose to build a career based on 95% rejection is just poor decision making. But I think that I always had this desire to go to Hollywood and be a movie star. But more importantly than that, I wanted to find fame through acting. It's what I wanted as a kid. It was what I wanted. And I didn't really know why until I was older, but again it was just part of my childhood. I just wanted attention and wanted to be seen and recognised. And then obviously get appraisal and reward for doing well. So I always put a lot into my career and my acting career. Act in way. Who did you look up to? Who did you inspire to be? For me it worked really about. I didn't really have many idols. I just seen people around me who I didn't want to be like. I wanted to be the opposite of. Do you know what I mean? So I took influence from people who were doing things, bad things and wrong things and saw that I didn't want to do that. Taking heroin. Surrounded by it as a teenager growing up. Maybe not the best analogy, but that's an example of it. I didn't want to take heroin so I never took heroin. I've tried over drugs. I was a child. Growing up a teenager party in Raven. Going to festivals. I had an experience with heroin that were out of my hands because there were family members using it and overdosing and seeing them deteriorate. One of my idols was an Erwin addict. My cousin Vincent. I reached a certain age where I realised it was time to be my own idol. Do you know what I mean? But then there were actors who I looked up to and I kind of admired and thought wow I'd love to be there. Edward Norton. He did great at Fight Club American History X. Just to name a couple of them. They were the violent ones. Edward Norton. Brad Pitt. Pacino. Dinear. There's all actors that I looked up at. I looked up to and admired. But they weren't really idols. I weren't really closing my eyes thinking about what they're doing in this situation. How they'll do with it. Do you know what I mean? How hard does it to act? It depends really. Some things are found really easy. I kind of cast myself as a method actor. With that I'm untrained. But with that I have to take myself back to an experience that relates to that. And then really take myself through the basis. The acting bit weren't hard at all. I found that quite easy. It was coming down from it afterwards. Going back to an hotel room for four hours on your own. And dealing with what you've just processed. Cos it's like post-traumatic stress in a way. Some of the situations that you're in. Some actors will be watching this thinking why is he crazy? He should never do that to himself. Actors have gone through drama school and things. They do things differently. But very much run around the block five times. Make yourself tired if you need to be tired in the scene. If I'm in a gym lifting weights then let's get in the gym and do an hour's weight training prior to the scene. Kind of approach. So then if that meant you're dealing with a scene where you've maybe experienced trauma like death. Losing someone close to you. Then kind of have to take yourself to them dark places in order to get the performance that you want and to make it real and natural. Is that mentally draining them? Because I know that Daniel Day Lewis and you look at them but I think they got older at most really. Because the mind, the brain is like a sponge. It will absorb everything. The different character, the brain will believe you are that character so it must be potentially damaging over a long period of time. It can be. You do need to take time out for that. Excuse me. But I think you get... That's the only way I've ever been able to get the results. That's the way I've sort of worked on and how it's developed for me in terms of acting. I've tried different methods. It don't work for me. I don't like to read a script 50 times. I think it would be perfect when I go on set. It's got to be a bit different and humanised and make it my own. Some writers don't like that either. Especially when you're working with Paul Abbott and he's almost like... Great, yeah. Paul Abbott, you never hear me say a bad word about Paul Abbott. He's a fucking genius. He's an absolute genius. You should do a podcast with him if you can. But he's a bit shy sometimes. You find to see a lot of actors are shy. I've got a lot of acting friends and a lot of them are the most shyest people you've ever met in your life but they're performing on stage. You'd think, wow, man, they are so confident. It's similar, isn't it? It's like a comedian. You won't ask a comedian to tell you a joke in a pub. You know what I mean? That's the last thing you want to say. The kind of people, they expect things of you that are similar to that. What can you cry on the spot? You hear a course of camp but you're not fucking getting it. You know what I mean? Do you have many friends going through your teenage years? Do we swear or not swear? We can do it if what we want. I try not to. It's more professional but it's like to say I like to keep it raw and real. I try not to swear as much because some people say that's lack of vocabulary but I just like to swear. It just gives it a wee bit more of a form. That's a bit of my character. If I'm not swearing a little bit, you're not getting the real me. Did you have many friends growing up? How did they treat you from acting? Boys you want to play football and fight and take drugs? That was the biggest thing for me looking back. I gave a lot to become an actor. I sacrificed a lot of things. I sacrificed weekends away with mates, holidays. I sacrificed social life with my friends because I was away from filming. You lose connection with your friends. I lost a lot of my friends. I had grown up through secondary school, especially at the years, Johnny Brogan, Luke Bowman, Mickie Biker, Paul Biker. I actually forgot you. Some of the girls as well. Losing my connection with them from school because we were 14 or 15, my acting career took off. At 16 I was going to London in Manchester, going off to auditions all the time, having to prepare, having to save my money for train fares. I was able to go out and wax 50 quid on booze and go to a party and do whatever because I knew about two days recovery and I've got an audition on Monday if I get the role I could be filming as early as Friday. Before you knew it, they went from being 14, 15 then leaving school, 16. 14, 15 developing my career and in 15 it took off and I went to college and a lot of my friends, they went to work in the local slaughterhouse. It was really weird. It's just what you did. You went and got a job in Woodhead's, I think it was called. They all went working in the slaughterhouse and they were on 110 quid a week and I was absolutely mortified because after a day's work they'd come out and they'd be talking about work which you were no part of and they'd all have a wage coming on Friday which were triple, quadruple, whatever getting and of course they were all working together and chatting and having this sort of separate friendship outside of what we were used to. Massively, to the point where I nearly went and got a job at Woodhead's and I just think back now, what would have happened if I'd have actually gone and got that job? Who knows? I mean I'd probably end up putting in a petition for a management buy out and on in the place now who knows. I don't know, I literally don't know but who knows, I could just still be working there happy with my 250 quid a week wages and just living that normal life but I guess always wondering what I'd have done now. It's always weird in there. I can't be thinking about the past in different directions we can go down. Can't regret it. There's no regrets but I kind of wonder you still wonder that. Of course man, it's always good to think shit if I never done that and I did this differently. That's a promising sight. Exactly, it's all in hindsight. If I hadn't been through all the madness in misery I wouldn't be sitting here I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. So we've kind of got to learn the craft from some sort of pain in misery and misfortunes and it's just life. How did the shameless come about changed your life man? One of the biggest shows on Channel 4 just... Shameless was like the first audition. It was like I knew when I've been informed and requested to come in and meet the guys I kind of knew already what it was going to be and how successful it was going to be and I also knew what a great opportunity it was for me. So I'd almost like psychologically claimed it from the second I read the scripts. It's weird like it's a mental thing that you go through sometimes you pick up a script and you're like this ain't me, I ain't getting this and of course you go to audition and you don't hear back but you have to go, it's a process for me I knew I had to take it and just own it from day one, do you know what I mean? What was that audition process like? Brutal, absolutely brutal because they couldn't... basically they got me and Gerard Cairns in straight away the guy who plays you and my brother I'm really nervous by the way, can you tell? Are you? Yeah I don't know if it's because I'm sat next to this cold wall as well. I'm like a little bit shaky. So myself and Gerard were the first guys in to be seen for Lip and Ian and I saw I don't know about Gerard but I went in with another couple of people on different days, spent like a half day Liam Boyle was one of the actors he was a good mate of mine actually we were quite a pala, I don't see much but we were quite a pala and who else? There was Liam Boyle and another couple of guys that were quite interested in they're going to hate me for this now and they kind of Paul had us in and the producers had us in and they maybe tried different setups to see what worked the match was up basically and we didn't know what were going on I just assumed that it were us but they just needed to work out which one were playing which character so we went through like 11 auditions in and out spending half days full days there coming in with different cast members lining up like screen tests and all that kind of caper and it was every time you're going you're thinking it's yours and you're nearer to it but you've got to put yourself through that psychology like I might not get this I told you I reacted to the first one I think it was about to burn the youth theatre for three months I went out burn the youth theatre now I just bit my dummy out I've gone lock myself away for a year so I dread to think I would have reacted had I not got on it but yeah 11 auditions later it's like yeah we're going to cast you how would you feel about playing Ian I was like I'm at a point where I can't not be in this so if it's a case of who can deal with it better me or Jed it was Jed's first role there was slightly naive dare I say at the time and I think he was really reluctant to play this character as his first role there was a lot involved it was a big commitment you know it was only 17, 18 and being a straight guy having to neck a bloke especially when you come from the places me and Jed come from and borderline council estate you know what I mean and there's nothing wrong with that I did I took it I played the gay character for three weeks I played Ian and Jerry Kerns played lip so we cancelled filming got cancelled after a while and they swapped the roles around something weren't working for them that's the producer's decision how was that acting then that's just a craft doesn't it it was literally but at the end of the day I looked at it like the acting part weren't the issue it was the physical part that would have been the biggest challenge and then I just kind of mentally got over that just kind of a scene, a shot, a quick take do you know what I mean I'll get over it I didn't have to snog Chris Bison which was great because he was quite a friend at the time as well that would have made it even really more weird just knowing the guy like we knew each other if you went in with a stranger and it's just like alright lights off, get stuck in boys you know what you do laugh or cry just get on with it so you relieved them when you got the lip part yeah and it weren't anything to do with the sexuality of the characters for me I just felt that I was better suited to that role and how did it change your life when you were on that because it was massive how did you deal with that if you deal with anxiety and stuff like that was it hard? I loved it, I loved the attention that I was getting, it was brilliant it was like overnight fame load of money, driving around on an Audi convertible like what's not to love but I got carried away with it started partying hard spending my money in the wrong places making stupid decisions I think that's just part of being young yeah you were early 20s weren't you yeah 21 when we started filming so it's still really young you know and like I think to have it overnight is a big change was everything you imagined to eventually be working that hard to get the part that you wanted to be get the fame and the money how did you start yeah dealing with the fame and the money was the hardest thing sex, drugs and rock and roll as well as being in Manchester away from everything I knew fancy apartment temptation galore it's just hard to say were you going to say it best on it no actually I never actually turned up past although there is a horrible rumour suggesting that I once turned up to work leathered, not shameless another job but it's not true don't get me wrong there's been them towns where there's like three hours and you probably think of it still but I've never turned up leathered just leaving a party then going straight there yeah I've never done that I've always got a couple of hours in why did you only do the four seasons because I had this misconception in my head that I was going to be a movie star Hollywood yeah that's what I wanted and then when we come to apply and do all the legals it weren't going to happen I've been too naughty so what happens the American agents they were like it's too risky and they would have had to invest so much into me to get stuff that they already had access to and did you already leave shameless to do that and I was as a 20-odd Englishman with a thick burly accent it's not as much as you want it and as much as you're a star in your own country there I say that Americans just can't get the burly twang who's the Liverpool boy who's the Liverpool does all the gangster films fucking great actor great actor Steven Graham he's taking his game to the next level he has him so proud to see it he's good to see it but as a kinder vibe I would see you doing it's kinder that's kinder shit he's got a good relationship with the help me oh he's better than gangs in New York help me scorsese that was another great form it's nerves that but scorsese and a few other directors now he's got a fantastic relationship with he's got his in he's got foundations there now and I believe his wife as well has been doing great over there and Canadian dramas or something so to be honest I've been so focused on my own stuff you know cos I like to spit my dummy out don't I so I've been acting for a little while and I've not really been followed all my actor friends just cos I didn't really want to know what everyone was doing was that a bit of not jealousy but you've still noticed your passion now you've created that multi million pound business is that your passion I thought it was I think just being successful in different demands makes me feel proud and content but actually I think that I'd love to go back to acting and do some serious roles when did you take a break from it I'm 37 so it's nothing is it look at me I'm still doing it I'm just going to get it down the chin we drank the camera and it was only going to church so when did you take a break from acting well it wasn't it was forced really I lost my best friend so did you hear that my nearest and dearest my absolute just solid was like my over half of me it's like I don't know just the one person that gets you beyond anything nothing that can be said can offend nothing that can be said can upset or shock do you know what I mean my go to guy like so to losing was a big big thing and it made me just really sort of way up life really so then I started doing things based on I think to be fair I didn't deal with it well I just buried me in business and that's why the business has become so successful that's how I got over the grieving and dealing with the morning and all that sort of burying my head in business and and then now the business is successful I thought I kind of want to sit back and do some more me stuff but I just want to do other things that involve business and success and I think sometimes I add behind things like business roles it's easy do you know what I mean just as a head and a problem face on but again everybody deals with trauma differently some people deal with it from drugs whatever it is to hide from the pain that you're hurting but this is life and you've put your head into business it's not a bad thing but now you've not completed it but your own path to it you've probably realised was that a bag of gear or a bottle of ochre do you know what I mean which some people do I've done it for many years and that's another way of dealing with grief and you know what if anything I moved away from things like that try to separate myself from certain people certain groups so I weren't in task to going down the wrong road again 33 34 excuse me I was 33 when he passed was 34 and yeah it affected me and a lot of other people it affected a lot of other people Alistair was the rock for a lot of people and no one knew that he had his own shit going on and he took his own life it's really awful yeah he's still playing your mind that yeah he's still really messes me up to think about but you know it's part of dealing with it yeah I've lost my mind so yes I'm sorry to hear that I'm sorry to hear that on someone set their mind on something as tragic as that then there's not much you can really do because the pain is still left and I said it in a podcast I think last week it's not take away the pain kind of gets passed on and it's sad because one of my friends Ann Rowan I do a lot of suicide work up in Glasgow and her son committed suicide and the son for it that nobody cared but actually for him I was over a thousand people and it's made her Chris's house which is a 247 suicide centre in Scotland so she's focused on that energy and then changing other lives and realised that there is an out and there is hope because so much social media there's so much pressure on people's shoulders that were not good enough that were inferior when really we're all special everybody's special it's just certain circumstances that can really change your mind I'm in a great place but I'm still battle every day certain problems, certain scenarios certain situations thinking about lost, loved ones thinking about wishing they were here but there comes a time you just got to go fuck it and life goes on kind of selfish mentality but it can be hard so how did you deal with that after the first couple of years? I didn't deal with it at first very well just messed me up emotionally just really messed me up emotionally and I broke up with a girl over it just because I wasn't I was looking for things that she couldn't give me so I lost her and then that made me worse I had problems with my baby mum because of alcohol and other things that responsibilities and decisions I were making because I weren't focused and I was grieving Alistair and drinking too much and then I just realised it had to stop it all had to stop for my daughter's sake she's six she's amazing she makes me so proud every day because she's on point like she does class she's a counsellor on this part of the school council of governors she's getting lead roles she's got lots of friends she's considering caring and she's humble she does everything I'm not so for that I love her for that I love her so much she's my heart and my son as well I talk about my little girl because she's still six but he's just like scruffy little teenager he's 19 he just means me up when he wants money what do you mean? I don't know how he is I won't begin to imagine how he is I just know he's alright because he still dals me up and says dad I'm skin so much is this going to cost me so when you were sitting drinking taking drugs what was going through your mind then at that point you ever saw a side of yourself no I couldn't afford to be I couldn't afford to play with these ideas in my head it weren't available to me it weren't somewhere around the table like self harming although drinking and substance misuse is self harming in me it's the worst way slow death but yeah self harming through substance abuse I guess but suicide was never something that were an option for me because I've got children what was the turning point for you the moment I don't want to upset or offend anyone there it's just for me like I can never pass that on to them however it is to be it won't be that way what was the turning point to go right when I need to get my shit together here did you have a moment yeah being skinned and potentially being skinned forever because my acting career there were no real love for it anymore and that's where I got my income from so being skinned and I realised that I had to make money and I had to start making money big and fast otherwise it weren't going to be enough to distract me and keep me focused so I set up my I set up a partnership a company which basically offered services in the aesthetics industry so Botox and Fillers essentially and I had a partner who injected and I basically marketed the company so I had the premises and the facilities and she basically turned up and we kind of we did a 50-50 kind of partnership and we went down the road of injecting girls, Litffillers, Botox and we met a lot of money fast and I realised there was an opportunity in the industry to do well it's just four or five years ago so there's a lot of people popped up since then offering services and selling Fillers which is what I do now there's a hell of a lot more doing it at the time probably less than 15, 20 people in the country doing it now there's probably a couple of hundred so we really like the ground running and with the Fillers and Botox that we're injecting, we're in Blackpool in a clinic that was owned by my brother he had a sunbed shop and it worked really well because we were able to just drag customers from upstairs drag, it's not the best it's not the best most professional word but yeah, we literally dragged them up like what do you mean no, come and have a look come up here and have a look and we introduced we was the at Deansgate aesthetics, we was for a lot of girls in Blackpool we were their first go-to place for Fillers and Botox young girls particularly for Litffillers it's absurd, the industry is huge now massive market for it a lot of girls, young girls and girls who were of a more mature age love it, younger girls like it for fashionable desirable reasons, they want things like Russian lips and certain lip techniques which gives them defined volume and sort of certain looks what they have done some want Fillers that are completely natural but just want volume and want to replenish the skin and hydrate the skin you know, you can get Fillers here for your nasolabial folds try to say something bro can I look after you then you know, you get Botox Botox round here, you get Fillers down here and your jaw, your chin, your lips so you can literally go anywhere, hands, temples I don't need any more Fillers in my jaw I need to shut it away we can do all sorts the techniques and the services that are available are astonishing a lot of people don't even know what's available and what's this called? and this is gone now, this is when we had clinics but just saying in general some of the techniques and sort of products that are available now on the market and now there's some Fillers that you can have injected into your face just to hydrate so you know, for guys like us who are trying to keep it together still trying to look good you know, you can have these treatments that maybe don't give you definition but just replenish your skin less wrinkles and more hydrated literally puts like water into your face if I were to put it down to anything just to hydrate you and then you've got the old Botox to get rid of the wrinkles I'm not gonna lie I need some now there's a bit of a misconception that it hurts but it's minimal do you feel better with yourself getting that stuff? Yeah man, 100% plus a spring in my step like I look back at pictures 5-6 years ago and I look better now than I did then you know, we have exhausting lifestyles you know, you're going out, you're on the road and out of places, we're living in England so weather's fucking changing constantly one day it's right out, next thing it's snowing that's like the worst atmosphere for your skin and stuff like alcohol sleep exactly past life abuse all that substances we've done over the years and you know what they're not that invasive they're not bad for you there's no real major side effects so why not? it's down to affordability a lot of it so where did you get the business credentials to about a multi-million-pound business? you just winged it it was fucking hard work just constant hard work I made it my life we did clinics and we're in Blackpool doing clinics with my business partner at the time Georgie McDonough and basically she introduced me to the industry we worked together on training when she was an extra she introduced me to the industry and she did some treatments for me Botox and filler treatments it made me feel so good I needed to be in I needed to have a part of this because if I could go in and potentially pay what would have been around 300 pound I was in there 20 minutes worked the figures out so I was like wow this woman can generate in a busy week so I was like I've got to have a go at this and we started with the clinics I partnered up with Georgie and then it's been about a month maybe couple of years a year or so it was about a year actually I'm lying I looked into getting access to the filler so I could start distribution? yeah on mass distribution I'm just going to the core of it and getting to the people, the key players working alongside them and it took off like phenomenal it just went we just stick the ground running we were lucky because timing and I was able to get a brand of fillers at the time it was a derma rent it was called brought derma rent to the UK market we had a great success with that myself and my partner at the time my other partner in terms of distribution Liam Liam Gill and we basically we got this distribution deal for a brand called derma rent which was a white label of a product called Revolax which was which is still massive brand now very popular brand we don't use it I can't use it I'll sell it for legal reasons but Revolax derma rent was a white label so we had a great success on the back of that because people knew you know the injectors they know what they want and we knew what they wanted so we had a huge success with that and then derma rent lost its CE approval so we could no longer sell it in the UK no one's ever actually had this story before and we couldn't sell it in the UK so I searched desperately then for a new filler brand and we struggled I started bringing other filler brands to the market but not on an exclusive basis and then after a couple of years I managed to get the deal that I was been looking for and we got the deal with Jetima and that was to distribute EPTQ, Epitech throughout the UK island and Channel islands and this kicked off just a few months ago so the contract that we did with them was valued at 9.5 million of course that's what they valued it at so for us obviously with profits and whatnot slightly more excessive than that but these are valuations based over three years it's not like oh yeah Jody's got 80 million quid he's based on turnover How does that make you feel? It's easy when you go through all that misery from losing your friend to then a lot of people give up you've focused your energy you've done fucking well mate so proud of you I appreciate that You look happy mate Yeah I am I am happy but yeah I am happy I'm proud and the brand's flying it's already flying we've hit two lockdowns whilst having the brand we signed the contract at the start of the first lockdown now we're in the second lockdown we've still managed to hit some massive targets How's that the data thick business bad? Massively yeah because we're launching a new brand that needs to be injected in clinics and we had three months where clinics weren't open we just had another month of clinics not being open we'll be professional clinicians dentists, doctors, nurses no-one's been able to operate so as long as they can't operate the last thing they want to do is buy 100 fillers off me and have four grams of stocks Is that why you've been struggling the last few months? Yeah I'm not struggling but we've just not been excuse me it turns mental out I think it is because you're not hearing them pings notifications of sales coming through and we can't post the things we want on social media because we don't want to upset and offend other people Have you got to just keep busy all the time Jody? Yeah I have to yeah or just go under for me the thought of not being in work for a month I've met everyone coming to work would it have been possible for them to work for mum yeah but would we have got the results and would I have got the value out of my staff if they were all working for mum the answer is no to ultimately due to government guidelines we can't facilitate working for mum and we'd have split the office up a little bit and distanced ourselves and put PPE in place and everyone's been fine So why you've been struggling then mentally what else has been happening? Just being away from people has made me struggle mentally and don't get me wrong I've nowhere near as bad as what some people have been experiencing but sometimes anxiety gets better at me So have you been handling that? Breathing exercises and less caffeine I'm on decaf now this is why I'm a bit shaky it's that bloody tea I think that's what it is but I've been on a lot of decaf and limiting the amount of things I have with sugar in yeah I did a stint in rehab as well never spoke about this publicly it wasn't for me but I learnt a lot from it again my substance misuse is minimal I do drink sometimes but not every day and not a lot but because I was going through anxiety and business were quiet there was an opportunity I just wanted to go on sort of refreshing sort of exhaustion as well so I took a week out it was going to be two weeks but I think it was going to be a month actually but I did a week What kind of rehab? Substance misuse In the past I have in my early days but recently now Was this just like a fairy paid to talk to someone? Yeah it was a social thing as well I think because we were in lockdown so I felt why not do it now be around people in the same bubble share experiences with a similar amount of people I looked at doing AA and it's all been video and Zoom and all that so it worked really for me then you know introducing myself to it via Zoom seemed a bit futuristic for me So what was it like then It's just when I got in there I realised that the people in there had far bigger issues than what I did so that made me feel a little bit uncomfortable you know there were people in there and this not data protection I'm breaking because I'm not mentioning any names at all but there's people in there getting a bottle of vodka from under the bed and necking what was left from the night before when they collapsed and then driving to a shot piss to get another bottle so they were dealing with serious issues so I felt a little bit like intrusive on them kind of like I felt rude being there do you know what I mean like other people need this more than I do but since then I've come back and tried techniques that I've learnt there that have enabled me to stop drinking for weeks on periods and things like that but it would have opened your eyes mate and that could have give you the kick up the asterisk definitely that caffeine I'm like shaking but he's a bit cold in here as well so many podcasts either why first podcast ever never done any friend of mine Martin Maloney the guy who does already books he's been asking me forever to do his podcast I'm like I don't do podcasts so many people have been saying come and do podcasts I'm like I don't do them and I didn't like the idea of being filmed and doing an interview I don't know I just never fancied it it's one of them things I think that you kind of need to just buy the bullet and get on with it the thing with podcasts you're kind of they're opened up easier it's not nothing's kind of scripted and people can get any more trouble as we all do in podcasts it is a free for all there's not a massive audience there and then kind of like people chucking in certain questions I don't know why really I think podcasts have become huge over the past three years and that's kind of when I took a step back from my acting career it's not to say I've quit by the way I've still got an agent so my acting is 60, 70, 80 so plans for the future brother Peter Mullin as well actually Scottish actor you know Peter class I did a series with him love Peter lovely guy proper Weegee James McAvoy James McAvoy, James McAvoy and O'Hara it was in Braveheart is it David O'Hara yeah I've worked with David O'Hara they're the only big one cool train I've never worked with but David O'Hara he's a classic guy he was in the party and he was in Tudas Braveheart he's the guy who shows his arse in it he's the one he's hearing voices he's a nutcase he's a cracker top guy what a good talent I'm Scotland I'm just the top of the tree I went to Greenock filming Waterloo Road that was interesting why? it's just an interesting town Greenock's nuts that down to a lonely podcast last week and he was talking about Greenock they had at one point they were having private security not private but it was the on set security one point if I went into Greenock they'd have them come out with me because I was like no it's just about that they had a phone call that someone was saying someone's going to shank me up if I see me in Greenock town really paring around sometimes I just wanted this one security guy to come with me if I ever went anywhere they should be scared of me I'm nuts what's your plans for the future brother? oh god I don't know who knows maybe go back to the drawing board I can see it in your eyes mate I've got to go back and do some acting you know it's like one of a title fight don't I? do you miss that? I do yeah I do miss it and now I'm comfortable like I can afford to do the roles that I want not based on money or I made some stupid decisions because of money agreeing to do jobs because the money was just ridiculous and then it was that that slowed me down and stopped enabling me to get the jobs that I should have been getting like the no offences and shameless and you know the tutors and you know that series I did The Fixer it's great that Netflix is back on Netflix it's great that Netflix is showing shameless again that's having some great response getting some attention from it again yeah but yeah I mean god I was tiny like you look back as a little baby but it's actually 21 but you look at me I look like such a juvenile young naive where as now do you ever do your own film in direction or anything? do you ever do your own directing or anything? yeah I've done bits but again there's just so much involved I gave my life up for a year to focus on a film and in the end when it comes right to the final hurdle we lost all the funding you know what I mean and people who have been which I can only describe as stringing me on, stringing me along it just wanted to be involved in the whole production of it and when it actually came to it we got that down for like a quarter of a million quid it was only a shoestring budget but there were four or five people putting in quite excessive amounts and they all pulled one it had a domino effect and then boom boom boom boom does that happen a lot? in film it happens all the time what would your ideal role be? good question I think I used to ask this question a lot there's not really an ideal role but I think that any challenging role would be welcome that involves me having to work for it do you know what I mean and like just being part of some of this just being part of some quality production be it British, American European just some of this good that people are going to watch and enjoy there's so much shit out there I spend an hour a day going through Netflix deciding what I don't want to watch that's my watching TV he's flicking through all the shit shows on Netflix crap crap and my continue watching list is phenomenal there's about 3,000 different things on there because I put some on for 10 minutes and go oh my god I can't devote any more of my life to this it's absolutely maca I watched that documentary stuff that's doing well though as well I'm not going to name drop it fear of not getting a job because that doesn't direct it stuff that's being raved about and then you're watching 10 minutes of it and thinking I watched one though it was class it was like three cage fighters it was like a dad in two sides fucking fun the first few episodes are slow but it is deep my netting is watching that you will relate to a lot to it it's fucking mad so you will get in about it I watched the first one but it is dark it gets dark and I've been trying not to watch any dark stuff just recently because every time a scene happens and I should be like oh what's going to happen my arst is going like I'm thinking Jesus I'm having a panic attack do you know what I mean anxiety kicks in I can't even watch a TV after having a strong cup of tea that was class I watched the Jim Carrey one he's at Andy Kaufman's Netflix he went right into character Andy Kaufman he played that part man in the moon or something but it shows you when he went right into character he stayed in character 24 seven but the producers were trying to sack him so many times because the part he was playing the guy was a bit loopy phenomenal fucking phenomenal but really deep when it shows you he can see how it affects him great actor he'd been asked to see him win an award for his acting achievement cos obviously there's a time in his life where he was never going to get an Oscar but you know what I mean or an Emmy cos it's comedy isn't it comedy doesn't get noticed does it but he is this fantastic actor I love watching Jim Carrey people will be cringing though that's what you're on about he likes Jim Carrey or can he possibly be an actor for anybody watching it's maybe going through a struggle in a battle what advice would you have for them reach out to family definitely even if it means they'll be happy to hear from you I think just get out whatever it takes you need space you need to get out go for walks get fresh air so does that old cliche thing and saying get exercise is the best thing for you but it is, it really is I know we had to finish early cos you're a busy man I feel awful would you like to finish up on anything no I think we've covered everything haven't we just that if anyone's not seen Netflix yet go and have a watch of it it's back on excuse me I keep saying Netflix it's back on Netflix watch it I'm sure you'll enjoy it and just stay positive reach out to family listen mate if I come on a day for that I thoroughly enjoyed your story mate God bless you and all the best for future mate I hope to see you in the big screen very soon let us know when it's on so we can plug it I will do check out more of my podcasts on the right and be sure to like share and comment your thoughts on this week's podcast thank you